i want to throw it away

2

25 years ago my parents dropped me off for my first semester of college in California. Everyone had roller blades and mountain bikes at the time and my father said, “I know what you want for Christmas.”

He didn’t wait until Christmas, he shipped me this bike in a box and I had it assembled in Cali. I probably put less miles on that bike than an Ironman distance ride- true story. It has been stored away in a garage or shed for 24 years. My ex husband wanted me to throw it away, but I couldn’t. I even pulled it out of the scrap metal pile he was taking to the junkyard. This year, I’ve seen it in my shed, wedged between a lawn mower, Christmas decorations and photography props. And seeing it in rotting condition, covered in grime and dust, it was like looking at a deceased pet. It gut punched me every time. So I finally took it to a local guy I found on Facebook and he replaced my dry rotted tires, cleaned it up and got it in like new condition.

I finally got a chance to ride it today. A little sunshine on my face, wind in my hair and a “vintage” bike. It was the perfect ending to what turned out to be a very crappy week. The weekend is here and I find myself getting ready to run Cowtown for the 5th time. A 5k and half on this beaten down body. I feel like this might be my last long distance road race. My knee is not better. I hope I’m wrong. But I feel I’m not. Wish me some luck and some perseverance to run through the pain.

I want to RUN.

I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF. IM SORRY. not really. THE URGE WAS TOO STRONG. I AM WEAK. Enjoy xxx

***********

Beca tried to shove Amy away from her. She hated it when the Australian threw herself on top of her. Normally she has no problem handling women who throw themselves at her, under those circumstances, she rather enjoys it, especially when a certain ginger does it. But this… THIS drove her insane.

“C'mon Amy! This isn’t funny! I want to go to bed and once again, you’re crushing my kneecaps!” Beca groaned in annoyance. The bigger girl was not affected in the slightest by the DJ’s attempt to smack her with her hand.

Fat Amy rolled over so that she was lying on Beca even more so than before. The smaller girl felt as if she were dying. Good god she needs to work out more.

“I can’t believe you’re calling me "fat”! We’ve been best friends for 6 years now and you’re still so mean to me.“ Amy was pouting at Beca, her blue eyes wide with humour.

"Yeah Becs,” Chloe added softly, playing along with Amy’s game. “You really hurt Amy’s feelings with that comment. I thought I knew you.” Chloe sniffed, turning her head away as if she couldn’t stand the sight of the brunette.

Beca snorted in response. “I’m sure I did hurt her feelings Chlo! This is the same girl that, not even 5 minutes ago, unscrewed my lightbulb because, and I quote, ‘you don’t need lightbulbs when having sex!’ Yeah, and the way she’s smiling at me now… she looks really 'upset’. I’m guessing that’s why she’s still on top of me-”

Amy interrupted her. “I KNEW YOU WERE A BOTTOM!”

Beca felt embarrassment flood her senses, her cheeks burning a deep red hue. She turned her head towards Chloe, frowning playfully when she noticed that the girl had burst into laughter. She felt a warmth settle in her stomach; a feeling that always made itself known when she stared at the older girl. It was inconvenient to say the least. Goddamnit.

Stacie snickered from somewhere at the foot of the bed, “I’m pretty sure that it was me who said that! But did anyone believe me? Nooooo. 'Beca’s a badass’, you’d all say. Pfft. More like she’s a 'bad girl that needs to be spanked’, Ammiright?!” She giggled at her joke, the other Bellas that were scattered around the room joining in on the laughter.

Beca threw one of the mint polos she kept on her beside table in Stacie’s general direction. But hearing it land with a small “clink” on the floor, followed by the sound of it rolling away gave her the impression that she missed her target. By a long shot.

Fat Amy needlessly stated, “you have a worse aim then that one time Bumper-”

Her eyes widening in horror, Beca finally managed to push Amy away from her and groused. “I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THE END OF THAT SENTENCE AMY! Ewww. Just eww. Need I remind you that it’s not 'Pick-on-Beca Day’, for God’s sake. Let’s just-”

This time it was Chloe that interrupted her.

“Sweetie,” Chloe gently said, Beca’s heart fluttering hopelessly at her words. “Every day is 'Pick-on-Beca Day’. It’s like a mandatory hobby for us.” Chloe finished by winking and blowing her a kiss.

There was a moment of silence as Beca and Chloe simply looked at one another, eyes roaming each other’s faces and small smiles adorning their lips.

Fat Amy stared at them expectantly.

“Do we need to leave? Are you guys gonna start making out like wild dingoes during their mating season? Because no one needs to see that, except maybe Stacie…”

Beca smacked Amy half-heartedly. She needed the other girl to shut up, like yesterday. “Let’s do something else!” Beca was desperate to change the topic.

Chloe grabbed the lightbulb from Beca’s bedside table, and holding it above her head, she exclaimed “IDEA!!” Beca loved seeing Chloe this way. So full of happiness and joy, it was infectious… it was no wonder that she was in love with her.

“Let’s play truth and dare.”

Never mind, Beca thought, I take it all back. Did I say “love”? I’m pretty sure I meant “hate”.

Writer Struggle #153

You know you want a word like that, but it’s not quite right. The rhythm is off, the shade of meaning doesn’t sing.

You trawl the thesaurus for the seventh time this past half hour, getting further and further away from where you started with that approximation, fruitlessly praying that something, anything, will give you an epiphany on the missing jigsaw piece.

You give up and use that not-quite-right word.

You’ll fix it later.

hey folks yes i’m back yet again! this time i’m liveblogging a fic i’ve been highly anticipating! @susiesamurai never fails to blow me away with her writing and she’s done it again with her new story Game of Survival featuring her OC Jessica Lahey. so here we go with a liveblog of Chapter 1!

[ read from the beginning ]

spoilers ahead as usual!

Keep reading

Back to the new landfill guidelines. You can bring an entire year to the landfill. But you are limited to one per resident. So please make sure you’re selecting the right year. We invite you to remember that a year that seems uniquely terrible could in fact be merely the gateway to an era of terror, the launching point and not the peak. Choose wisely.

Remember, too, before you throw away an entire year, that any given unit of time also contains positive effects whose shape aren’t apparent yet. Because the universe doesn’t function in increments of human-made time, but on an unbroken plane of incidents and outcome. But all that said, feel free to throw out a year if you want.

Catching up on WTNV and I feel personally called out

anonymous asked:

I binged today and I regret it so badly.. Now my mom has brought a chocolate bar to my room. I know I should throw it away, but it's so hard to resist. I already ruined my day, I kind of want to eat it to punish myself, and that's so fucked up.. What do I do? Thanks a lot if you answer..

If u really want to lose weight dont eat it.

calling tsuna “neo vongola primo” is literally just amano’s lazy way of finally ending the fucking manga to work on eldive. she literally had so much shit planned only to throw it away because she got bored and wanted to work on something different. at least give the manga a decent fucking ending, also you know you can work on two manga right? just change the schedule of one of them to once a month or whatever, it’s better than just pissing all over something everyone loves just because it’s not interesting or worth time anymore. i fucking love khr despite the messy shit, the simon were introduced only to be drawn a blank. there was obviously supposed to be more substance there, the fights of the simon were fucking rushed & hibari destroyed adelheide with no struggle.

she literally erased all of the canon development every single one of the characters had during the ten years arc and the arcobaleno curse and threw her most prized work under the bus just to work on something else even tho it’s less popular and probably more fucking bullshit. 

Yet when the Kaiser Persona shows up your first instinct is to say “OMG! It’s Ken!” I would forgive you if it was JUST the 2nd movie because you were caught off guard. But you STILL think that’s Ken?! Really?!

Even after Ken spent the whole half of the series working hard to make up for the horrible things he did. After he wanted to throw his life away numerous times because it was his problem, and none of the other younger kids. Even after he wanted to blow himself up with his Kaiser ship. Even after giving himself up to the enemy to save those kids in the truck. Even after you guys admitted Ken was trying really hard and he had changed in 02. 

You give Gennai benefit over your own friend?!

Who the Hell are these kids?! Where are the 8 I grew UP with?! 

Shit’s Fucked UP Fam

Shit’s hit the fan fam. And honestly, I’m kinda in shock? Like, I have no idea what to think or do about this, and I doubt a solution will present itself anytime soon. At the moment, Tom is on a small hiatus. I don’t know how long this will last or anything. Just that it’s gonna happen. Because my muse for him is so… off. At this point, I don’t think I’ll take him off. I mean, I don’t have the muse for him right now, but I have some great ships and interactions with Tom Phillips, the Character I’ve developed, that I don’t want to throw away because Tom the person did things I don’t agree with. And on that note. NOTHING THAT HAPPENED WILL BE ACCEPTED AS PART OF MY CHARACTER UNTIL I’VE HAD TIME TO GIVE IT THE PROPER THOUGHT. As of now, it’s definitely not part of my Tom, and I doubt it ever will be. It’s just, not something I see fitting with the character I’ve built for him in any respect.

If anyone wants to drop threads with him. I’m 100% okay with that and I 100% understand and I’d still love to RP with you with any of my other many muses. I’ve got twenty-two muses not including Tom. There are so many possibilities. I’d hate for this to be the end all for interactions.

That’s my stance on things. If you have questions, feel free to ask them. Or message me or whatever.

anonymous asked:

I request a h/c about Eutass Kid and Doflamingo catching the bouquet at a wedding.

This request was made for some awesome gifs ._. 

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Kid reaction/ h/c: 

  • DON’T YOU EVEN, get any ideas. 
  • Complete denial. 
  • Purposely throwing it away. 
  • “IT’S SOME STUPID FLOWERS” 
  • Why did he even come here… he is still irritated over this one. 

Originally posted by primadonna-and-the-diamonds

Doflamingo reaction / h/c: 

  • “Yeah, I caught it, so what” 
  • He could care less really. 
  • He’d still do what he wants with you so… 
  • He might even just throw them away, despite Baby 5′s yelling. 

anonymous asked:

help me Dewyn!!!. I'm 16, and in my second last year of high school and i use cocaine, lsd, weed and adderall regularly. i'm falling behind in school, i only just passed last year. i dont think i can survive this year. but my parents really want me to do well and i know i wont be able to pass. im falling apart, but they cant see. i hate the pressure to succeed. but im drowning and i need them to see that im not okay. Im 16 and addicted to cocaine. i dont think ill survive another year of this.

It’s hard. Trust me, i know how tough it is. I dropped out of school at 15 to pursue a life of drug-related adventures, abusive boyfriends, and living in poverty. Why would I throw everything I had, and everything my parents provided for me, away? I wish I never did. One of my biggest regrets was dropping out of school at such a young age because I had to go back as an adult and finish it up and it was NOT easy. Just stick through it. You’re stronger than your addiction! Don’t let it hold you back from success! It’s not going to be easy but it’s absolutely going to be worth it. You can do it. :) The year will fly by and you’ll be so thankful in the future that you didn’t have to go back to finish it, or potentially never finish it thus preventing you from getting a number of jobs in your future! Education is important. 

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

just cute bpd things uwuwuwuw

-ur handwriting is never consistant wtf
-im not happy right now so i must have never been happy in my whole life
-all ur marks are either As or Fs
-literally throwing temper tantrums
-i want to go off the wall ballistic and rob a bank and chop my arm off
-i could just run away. i could just disappear. i could do it
-getting inspired to change your whole life at four in the morning
-deleting all traces of yourself off the internet
-knowing youre wrong in an argument and not letting go
-cant stop gossiping. cant stop talkin shit. cant stop being nasty
-apathy. empathy. apathy. empathy. apathy. e
-cant keep friendships for longer than a few months
-depersonalizimg so hard u think someone drugged you

170101 Rap Monster’s Blog Post

작년 초에 작업해놓고 간단한 녹음만 해두었던 곡입니다.
마음이 힘들 때, 그 감정을 그냥 흘려보내기 싫어 기록해두었는데
다행히 지금은 마음이 많이 좋아졌어요!
그래도 감정이 지나갔다고, 그냥 버리기엔 조금 아까운 곡이라 공개해보아요.
다시 수정하고 정리를 좀 하려고도 했는데
그냥 그때 그 느낌으로 남겨두려고 굳이 안 그랬습니다.
슬플 땐 슬픈 노래가 가장 큰 위로가 되기도 하니까요.

Happy 2017 ! !

I worked on this the beginning of last year and only did a simple recording.
When I was going through a tough time, I didn’t want to just let that feeling go so I recorded it. 
Thankfully, I’m feeling a lot better now! 
Even though the feeling has passed, I felt like it was a waste to throw away this song so I’m sharing it.
I wanted to edit it and clean it up a bit more but
I didn’t, so I could leave it as it was back then. 
Because when you’re sad, a sad song can make you feel a lot better.

Happy 2017 ! !

Trans cr; Jessie @ bts-trans
© TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS 

2017's To Do List
  • Do not invest in temporary things.
  • Long drives and poetry.
  • Take the love that does not bruise.
  • Lose 30 pounds of sorrow.
  • Change the batteries.
    A dead clock may be right twice a day.
    But it’s time to stop living in the past.
  • Clean out the closet.
    Donate to charity.
    But throw away the coat that still clings to the smell of him.
  • This year, you asked for too much.
    You wanted to love
    And to be loved as ferociously in return.
    This time, strive to be the reason someone stayed.
    Want someone to be able to say
    Loudly and without hesitation:
    HER.
    I didn’t jump because of her.
  • Repaint the gate.
  • Change the lightbulb.
  • Buy a welcome mat.
  • Unlock your heart.
  • Don’t choose who enters.
    This time,
    Choose who doesn’t.

MJL

still miss you / still love you / still write poems about you / still lose track of what we’re talking about in class because i’m thinking of you / still want to throw up when i imagine you with somebody else / still want to throw up when i imagine me with somebody else / still can’t control my emotions when i hear your name / still cry instead of study / still want to punch a wall when i think of the lies you told me / still want to set myself on fire to get away from these feelings / still have to resist the urge to text you constantly / still want you / still love you / still love you / still love you / still here if you want me
—  everyone says it gets better but i don’t know a better that doesn’t involve you

I’ve gone months without thinking about you. What I once used to feel is so far gone it doesn’t feel real anymore. All I have left is a letter you wrote to me on my birthday shoved in the back of my closet that I can’t seem to throw away, yet I still can’t stand to open and read it. But I think mostly, I have forgotten you and I stopped caring.

But then your name is mentioned on a night like tonight and it hits too close to home. All I can think of is how devastated I was and how I didn’t know it was possible to feel that much pain. How much I want to scream and break and ask you why you would do the things you did. But I continue to stare blankly. You broke my heart for the first time and I’ll always be cautious because of it. I know I’ll be fine tomorrow but tonight I’m broken again

—  sink-orr-swim, I’m still trying to forget that you broke my heart
He told me that we couldn’t fix what was already broken.
I told him that broken crayons still color.
He said no one wants to deal with that. It’s much easier to just find new crayons. Throw the old ones away.
And you wonder why I still feel like trash.
—  You threw me away.

one afternoon they’re hanging out at even’s place by the window, and at one point even is like “wait, don’t move” and isak looks at him questionably and even goes to his room and comes back with his drawing pad and a couple of pencils. “this is too good, you have to stand still” and isak shakes his head and says “nope. i’m serious. even, no. the last time you said you wanted me to model for you, you shaped my face like a slice of bread” and even actually laughs at the memory (isak gasping when he saw the drawing, and telling even “that’s it, we’re over” and even apologizing with a kiss on his cheek, telling isak he’d throw away the ridiculous drawing - which he didn’t, it’s still hidden in one of his drawers) and says “you had bread crumbs on the corner of your mouth. the inspiration hit me. i couldn’t resist.” and isak feigns annoyance and even adds “i promise i won’t draw your face like a slice of bread. promise promise.” and isak doesn’t budge, so even quickly kisses him and he repeats the word promise in between quick kisses all over isak’s face until isak can’t help it and he lets out a giggle and says “okay, okay okay. since you promised” 

and they’re facing each other and even tells isak “lean your head against the wall. yeah, like that” and he starts drawing and they keep talking and isak tries not to move but after a while he says “eveeen. my neck is started to hurt” and even is looking down on his pad, concentration in his eyes and a small smile across his lips and he tells isak “it’s okay, you can move now”. the first thing isak does is move toward him like he wants to take a look at the drawing but even quickly hides the pad against his chest “nuh uh, i’m not done yet” 

so they hang out by the window the rest of the afternoon, and even finishes the drawing as they speak about nothing and everything. and then even is done and he gives the pad to isak, with the drawing facing down and isak is like “well, well, i can’t wait to see that” because, well, he doesn’t expect the drawing to be anything serious. but then he looks at it and his heart skips a beat and 

it’s beautiful. it’s isak’s face. a realistic drawing of his face. it’s not the type of drawings even usually draws, isak has never seen even draw something, someone like that. and there’s the way he drew isak. he drew light in his eyes. and isak is a little speechless and his lips are a little parted as he keeps staring at the drawing when even asks “do you like it?” to which isak replies “are you kidding me. even, this is amazing. i don’t know what to say. it’s just. beautiful.” and even is beaming and he says “see, told you i wouldn’t draw your face like a slice of bread. you don’t want me to throw this one out, right?” and isak is quick to reply “if you throw this one out, i’m actually never speaking to you again” and then he asks “can i…keep that one?” even doesn’t say anything, just hands out his hand, asking isak for the drawing pad. and when isak gives it to even, even quickly writes something, and then he removes the drawing from the pad and gives it back to isak, with a note at the bottom that reads: for isak. you look beautiful in this universe