i want to thank god and jesus and heaven and maybe luke a tiny bit

Lashton Pizza Delivery AU a.k.a. I'm sorry for existing

There’s not much to say. Ashton’s shirtless, Luke delivers pizza. Stay tuned for the next instalment. Hope u like:))

Word count- 1,754

Type- Lashton drabble

Part 1

Ashton’s stomach swells in a sickening manner as he pushes himself up from the bed, only to collapse back down again five seconds later with a groan. Fuck. He’s really pushed his limits this time. He thanks the lord that Calum somehow managed to navigate them both down the road steaming drunk at 2am, without one or both of them passing out at his doorstep.

The fuzzy-haired boy is nowhere to be seen in his room, and Ashton assumes that he’d just continued to his house a bit further down the street once he’d made a stop here. His eyes move around the bedroom, stopping at the pile of clothes on the floor, beneath which nests a large, mostly empty bottle of vodka. He remembers wielding it- rather violently if he recalls correctly- as they staggered down the street last night. He thinks he might be sick.

His head throbs violently as he claws blindly at the surface of his bedside table for an ibuprofen. He finds an old pack and rips it open desperately with one hand. One topples out into his hand. Score. Popping it into his mouth and grimacing as it falls down his throat like shard of glass, he reaches down and picks up his phone from the floor. It’s conveniently close to the bed, so he doesn’t have to move much more than shuffle slightly to the left, which is good since Ashton never wants to move again. Ever. Also, he’s never drinking again. Ever.

The first notification to catch his attention as he presses the home button is a text from Dominos for some discount. Oooh, pizza. He could seriously do with demolishing a Meatilicous Dominos pizza right now. Well not to demolish…to nibble and try not to fiercely eject from his stomach. Either way, he’s getting one. He doesn’t think it’s going to be physically possible to slide out of bed to the fridge in the state he’s in, and thanks the higher powers for pizza delivery guys. Saints.

Tapping in his home address and number, Ashton selects a pizza with almost every topping under the sun. Today is definitely a ‘go big or go home’ kind of a day. Medium, or Large? Hmm, Large. He sticks out his tongue with concentration whilst filing his order. It’s serious stuff.

Any special instructions? A grin spreads across Ashton’s face as he remembers the guy on the internet who got the pizza lady to bring the pizza right up to his room. He wonders if it’d be a total dick move if he were to do the same. It would be so amazing- like room service in his house. Calum would probably call him a massive twat, but Calum isn’t here experiencing the Worst Hangover Ever, so Ashton’s going to do it.

Hello! Am so hungover am finding it hard to move, lol. Could you bring it up to my room, pretty please???? The back door is unlocked and my room is up the stairs, first door on the right. If it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to just ring like a normal person, but I might vomit on you at any moment if I have to move. Drive safe dudes x’ he types, re-reading it twice and cringing at how much of a dick he is when he types. Whatever. Hunger calls.

He places his order and collapses back on the bed, skimming his eyes across the floor for his wallet. There it is. On the other side of the room, peeking out of the back pocket of yesterday’s crumpled jeans. He has forty minutes-ish to get it, so he’s not in a rush, but even the thought of moving from his spot makes Aston want to die. And his room is so warm, and his head is so throb-by and just the thought of pizza just makes him sleepy and he wants a cudddllleee…



‘Excuse me?’

Ashton’s eyes snap open and he sees a pair of black converse shuffling around awkwardly in the doorway of his room. What the-

‘Fuck!’ he scrambles up to greet the pizza guy and is reminded all too suddenly of his vicious hangover, as his whole body decides to lurch forward off the bed, and he crashes to the floor at the feet of the delivery guy. ‘Sorry! Sorry.’

‘Fuck, are you okay?’

‘Yeah! Yeah,’ Ashton grimaces, pretending like he’s not about to start dry heaving onto the carpet. This is the most embarrassing this that’s ever happened to him. Instead he gets up with his wallet now in his hand, and smiles at the boy standing in front of him. WHO, by the way, is absolutely fucking gorgeous. Oh, wow, Ashton thinks. All soft blonde hair and pretty blue eyes framed by the curliest lashes he’s ever seen.

‘Have I got the wrong house? You’re Ashton Irwin, right?’ says the boy, dipping his hand into his pocket to retrieve a bit of paper with Ashton’s order on it.

‘No! I mean- yeah, yeah I’m him. You haven’t got the wrong house,’ Ashton smiles. The boy smiles back and Ashton thinks he might’ve gone to heaven. If he’d thought all pizza delivery guys were this damn attractive, he’d be getting pizza every fucking night of the week. He has a lip piercing. ‘So do you deliver pizzas often?’

What, the fuck is he talking about?! Smooth fucking going, Ash. He’s a pizza deliverer. He must never deliver fucking pizzas. He struggles not to slap himself in the face, clutching his hands together tightly as if he’s caught an insect.

‘No, actually. This is like, my first day,’ replies the guy, scratching the back of his neck with a pale hand.  He laughs nervously.

‘Oh,’ say’s Ashton, feeling embarrassed, ‘well I’m sorry that I have to be one of your first sights of the job. All hung over and shirtless and…gross.’ Oh god, he actually wants to dive out of the window. The guy laughs though, placing the pizza box down on the bed and waiting for Ashton to retrieve twenty dollars from his wallet. Oh lord, the guy’s teeth are like tiny white shrines and Ashton wants to kiss them more than he wants to eat pizza, right now. Well, maybe about the same- he does seriously want pizza. But he also wants to kiss this guy’s face, so he’s really quite conflicted.

‘You’re not gross, the last people I went to had a really loud, dog. Which was, like, pretty scary. And plus, you look kind of…you look sorta cute when you’re ‘hungover’.’ He motions his fingers like quotation-marks as he says ‘hungover’ and Ashton scoffs. Partly, because the absolute Greek God in front of him just called him cute (like, what?! Is this real life?). But also because how dare he imply that Ashton would lie about being hungover, just so he can have his pizza delivered up to his room?!

‘I am too hungover!’ he protests, fishing a note out of his wallet and handing it to the guy.

‘You look like you’ve just woken from eleven sober hours of sleep and then had an hour of spa treatments! I refuse to believe it.’ This leaves Ashton slightly lost for words, as he didn’t actually expect to engage in flirtatious conversation with someone this gorgeous, this early in the day. Especially not the pizza delivery guy. He’s also flattered because standing here in his boxers, with his hair sticking up in places, and two great bags under his no-doubt very bloodshot eyes- he’s far from cute.

‘T-thanks. You look good, too?’ he attempts back.

‘In my pizza shirt?’ the guy tugs the hem of his red polo shirt and looks up at Ashton, biting his lip. Fuck, Ashton wants him. It’s animalistic and bad that he’s getting like this after not ten minutes of the guy being in the room. But then again he hasn’t gotten off in like three days.

‘What can I say? Men in uniform,’ he retorts back, raising a slightly suggestive eyebrow at the boy in front of him, who now looks has nowhere to go but back to his car. He looks like he’s trying to find a reason to stay and talk, but they both know there is none. They stand for a moment, Ashton in his boxer shorts and the guy pulling at the bottom of his shirt.

‘Well, anyway…I should probably-’ he starts.

‘Do you wanna share this with me?’ Ashton blurts out before the boy can leave. He looks a little startled at the offer and before he can duck his head completely, Ashton notices he’s blushing fiercely. He smiles at the ground and looks up again.

‘Um…I can’t really because I’m working…’

‘Oh, okay,’ says Ashton. He should’ve known that, Jesus. Why did he ask that? He’s such a twat.

‘But do you wanna maybe, like- we don’t have to- but do you want to go for a drink or I dunno, like a Starbucks or something, later?’ asks the guy. He stumbles over his words so adorably that Ashton has to restrain himself from screaming ‘FUCK YES’ at the top of his lungs almost immediately.

‘Yeah, man. That’d be cool, I guess,’ he tries to say nonchalantly, but his voice tilts up threateningly high at the end, and he cringes like there’s no tomorrow.

‘Do you want…my number?’ says the guy.

‘Dominos number?’

‘No, like…my actual, personal number?’

Ashton is an absolute mess. Oh lord. Obviously not Dominos number. He’s such a blithering idiot, sometimes.

‘Oh, fuck, right. Yeah. Yes, please.’

‘I’m Luke, by the way.’

‘I’m Ashton- oh fuck, wait, you knew that…’ he says. Luke giggles and tugs at his lip ring with his teeth again. Fuck. Ashton’s vision is hazy and it’s not due to last night’s alcohol intake. He hands Luke his phone and they stand in silence for a few moments while he types in his number.

‘So, I’ll see you tonight, I guess?’ he says, gently putting the phone back in Ashton’s hand.

‘Yeah, I guess you will,’ says Ashton in disbelief, not quite understanding how or why this encounter turned out like it did. Luke huffs a laugh and swings a little on the balls of his feet before backing out of the door, leaving Ashton to his pizza.

He stands still for a moment, and upon hearing the backdoor click shut does a little hop, skip and jump onto his mattress. He grins like a maniac down at his phone screen, where it says ‘Luke:))’ with about six pizza emojis. Luke’s already texted himself with ‘Hey Luke, it’s Luke,’ and Ashton comes to the quick realisation that he’s going on a date with a massive dork. But hey- it’s not even 12 o’clock and he has a cute boy’s number and a pizza. What a fantastic start to the day.

Holding Your Baby for the First Time

Requested: Can you do like a fluffy Daddy imagine? Like holding their daughter for the first time? Sorry, I know it’s completely cliche but these always make my heart melt 😍

Ok, I’m going to do this as a preference! I also decided to do half boy half girl because all babies are so precious :’) 

request away! my inbox is open, and I’m ready to write whatever your heart desires :) happy reading! x -h



“Y/N you were amazing.” Luke kissed your forehead. “And I love you, I really do, but could you let go of my hand?” You realized you were still squeezing to it for dear life, and quickly let go.

“Sorry…” You muttered as Luke rubbed his red hand.

“You don’t need to apologize.” He chuckled, kissing your temple again. 

“Okay Dad. Ready to meet your baby girl?” The nurse asked, turning around and holding a baby wrapped in yellow.

“I’ve been ready for 9 months.” He practically ran to the nurse, gently taking the little bundle in his arms and looking starry-eyed. “She’s more beautiful than I could ever imagine.” He said quietly. He kissed her forehead tenderly, making sure not to wake the baby that had just fallen asleep. 

“Come here, sit by me.” You waved him over and he scooted into bed next to you. You wrapped an arm through his, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked at your precious baby girl. “We did that.” You whispered.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever been a part of.” He smiled, and you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “She’s so beautiful already. I’m going to buy her whatever she wants. If she wants a tutu I’ll but her 50, and if she wants band tees I’ll buy only the good bands. And I’m going to teach her how to ride a bike, and sing to her when she can’t sleep, and I think I’ll even learn how to do hair for when you’re not there. And I’ve already decided no boys until she’s 18”

“She already has you wrapped around her finger, and she hasn’t said one word yet.” You giggled, and Luke sighed.

“I knew it was bound to happen. So I’m just rolling with it.”

“Look, she’s already a daddy’s girl too.” You pointed to the little smile that had formed on her sleeping face at the sound of Luke’s voice.

“Man, I have to two most beautiful girls in the world.” He whispered, kissing you again. 



“Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Hood! It’s a boy!” The doctor said as he set the baby in the nurse’s waiting arms.

“Baby, did you hear that? A boy!” Calum whispered excitedly as he kisses all over your face again and again. You smiled for the first time since you’d started labor hours ago. 

“A mini you.” You said with a grin, and Calum squeezed your hand.

“Oh, I sure hope not. I hope he looks more like you.”

“Well, why don’t you go look?” You pointed to the table where they were weighing him, and Calum ran over. His eyes lit up at the little human wriggling around and crying. “Babe, 10 fingers and 10 toes.” 

“We did all right then.” You laughed.

“More than alright. He’s going to be a ladies’ man, I can already tell.” He gave you a grin before looking back at his son. The nurse wrapped a green blanket around him and passed him off to Calum.

“Hey, little man, don’t cry. Daddy is right here.” He cooed softly, rocking him back and forth in his arms. “Here’s the thing. Mommy is really tired. She’s had a long day. So go off to sleep, little man.” You were mesmerized at how quickly he slipped into dad mode. It made you choke up a little bit. 

“So he’s okay? Everything is okay?” You asked.

“More than okay. He’s the cutest baby I think I’ve ever seen.” He said, never taking his eyes off of him. “Isn’t that right?” The baby gave a happy screech in reply and Calum’s face lit up. “Did you hear that?”

“The whole floor heard that.” You laughed.

“Maybe he’s a singer. Are you going to sing with daddy?” His question was answered with another little coo and Calum giggled. “God I love him so much already.” Calum sighed.



“Would you like to hold her Mr. Clifford?” The nurse pulled the hat over your baby’s head and offered her.

“Oh, uh, I think mom deserves that honor first.” He laughed nervously, and the nurse grinned. She nodded and walked over to you, setting the baby gently in your arms. Tears filled your eyes and you smiled as the doctor and nurses left you and Michael to be alone with your daughter. 

“Michael.” You choked out. “Look at her, she has such a tiny nose.” He leaned on the bed next to you, running his finger lightly over the blanket that she was wrapped in. 

“I can’t believe she’s ours.” He said quietly. You both looked at her, in awe of how precious the little bundle in your arms. You leaned against Michael to get his attention. “Yea?” He asked, resting his cheek on your head. 

“Want to hold her?” You asked, looking up at Michael. His face drained of color, and he shook his head.

“Oh, no no no no.” He sat back, and you furrowed your eyebrow.

“What the hel- heck was that?” You asked.

“Sorry. That was- I’m just nervous.” He stood up and started pacing the length of the bed.

“Nervous about what? Babe, we’ve had this talk… we had it when I first found out I was pregnant. You’ve had 9 months to prepare.” 

“No it’s not that. I’m so unbelievably happy that she’s here. I mean, Jesus she’s perfect.”

“So, do you want to hold her?” You offered again, and Michael shook his head.

“No, Y/N, she’s perfect. What if I mess up? What if she cries because she doesn’t like me. I can’t- I don’t know. I don’t want her to ever be sad.” He sat down on the foot of the bed, shaking his head. You looked down at your daughter and smiled.

“Mike, you know why you feel like that?” He looked at you from the corner of his eye. “Because you love her already.” 

“Obviously I love her.” He chuckled. 

“Then come here.” He stood up and walked over to you. He sat next to you this time, and you set her in his arms. He looked at her in wonder, smiling at the angel in his arms. He leaned down to her, and laughed quietly. 

“She smells so good.” He murmured, and brought her up slowly to kiss the tip of her nose. Her sleeping face broke into a smile, and she squirmed in Michael’s arms, sighing quietly. He sniffled and you looked up at him, catching him as he quickly wiped a tear from his cheek.

“Mikey.” You whispered. “Are you crying?”

“Maybe.” He laughed, and you leaned towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“That’s not very punk rock.” You teased.

“Shut up!” He smiled. “I just love you both. A lot.”

“I love you too. A lot.”



“He’s all fed.” You breathed a sigh of relief. “And now he’s drifting off to sleep. Thank you.” You said to no one in particular. It had been a long day. You were looking forward to some peace and quiet. 

“See, parenting isn’t that hard.” You laughed at Ashton’s comment, and he sat on the side of the bed. “I’m crazy happy right now. I love you so much.” He leaned in and gave you a kiss, your eyes fluttering shut.

“And I’m crazy tired.” You yawned.

“Understandable. You did just push a baby out of your-”

“Hey, Ash, love you. But I don’t need a recap. I was kind of there.”

“Right.” He chuckled. “I can take him so you can sleep.” He smiled, holding his arms out. You gladly passed him off, ready to get some shut eye of your own. Ashton swayed back and forth, making sure your son stayed asleep. You smiled as you watched your two favorite boys in the entire world get to know each other. Your eyes started to close as you watched Ashton sit in a chair by the window.

You woke up a few hours later to see him in the same position he was in before. The baby was laying between his legs, and Ashton was softly running his fingers along his cheeks, his nose, and playing with his tiny fingers. You could hear him quietly singing, and you rolled over. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face at the sight of Ashton singing his son to sleep.

“Hey Ash. What are you singing?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” He jumped at the sound of your voice. “I’m just singing some stuff from his favorite band.” He looked back at his son and kissed his forehead. “Isn’t that right? We’re learning Long Way Home first.” He grinned. 

“That one’s my favorites.” You smiled.

“I know, that’s why I picked it.” He grinned back, and you chuckled.

“Please just don’t teach him Good Girls or 18 anytime soon?” You laughed, and Ashton raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t worry babe, I’m saving those for when he’s in high school.”