Man you can tell Millennials aren’t buying houses because homeowner’s insurance companies really have not caught up with us in terms of
“I want to get this quote online”
“My phone number: an epic poem about how I never answer my phone unless I know who’s calling”
“I am not buying a conventional standalone house”
Like damn, son, do you sell insurance to anyone under forty?
Of the six places I’ve tried to get a quote from so far, three required my phone number (the other three required it but didn’t fuss when I entered all zeros), one’s website broke when I tried to customize a quote, two couldn’t provide me with an online quote at all, and three didn’t have options for entering data that wasn’t about a freestanding house. (OR a “Victorian row house” which, LOL – those were my options, freestanding house or VICTORIAN ROW HOUSE. I wish.) And all of them also want to sell me car insurance for the car I do not have.
Progressive has a so-called “condominium” insurance quote but once you get to the bit where you actually tell them about your home it is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS they are ill-equipped to deal, because they want to know if I have a bungalow or a victorian row house condo. Though they do win for best hilarious question with “Does this home have a trampoline?”
Also, yikes Safeco: If you own one of the following breeds of dogs, it may raise your insurance rates: Akita, Chow, Doberman, Pitbull, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Rottweiler, Presa Canarios, wolf hybrid or a mix of these.
I’ve never even fucking HEARD of the Presa Canarios. I googled, and they’re quite handsome animals, but I can see how they might be tarred with the same unfair brush as a pittie.
Props to Geico, who instead asked simply “Do you have or care for an animal who is vicious or attack trained”, a much better question.
PS: Dear insurance agencies my birthdate is the fifth of none of your fucking business, 1979. (I know they need to know how old I am but they don’t need my actual birthdate, that’s nonsense.)