i want to smell spain so bad

"Yes, I will!!"

This is an imagine for a lovely follower Ayisha. Hope you like it!
It would mean a lot if you’d let me know what you all thought here

Sorry it took so long, tumblr kept crushing down when I tried to post.

A/N: Harry’s messages are in bold, and her’s are in italic. This is my 1st imagine that includes some visuals so let me know your thoughts on that.

Other: one shots/imagines, “Checkout boy” and my small series “Now my heart is broken, all my scars are open”.


I woke up alone. Harry was already gone to the practice. They had a concert in Barcelona within this tour. And I love this town. I always loved Spain and the language is so melodical.
  They didn’t have a show until Monday but they had to practice today, though they were free tomorrow aka on Sunday. Today is 18th of July. Our anniversary. The morning when I didn’t want to wake up alone. I shifted on the bad towards his side hugging his pillow. It smelled like Harry. That’s when I felt a paper under my hand. I opened my eyes, but my vision was somewhat blurry, eyes trying to adjust to the daylight.

I glanced at the clock. It read 10:30. I quickly took a folded piece of paper from Harry’s pillow. It was a message. A letter. From him. it made me smile. I should’ve known he’d do something like this. And I also knew that not being here, with me, was killing him; but I understood. Being with Harry was my decision. As much as I wanted him to be with me and I’d get a little upset that he wasn’t; but I knew how much he loved what he did. Singing. He made his dream come true.

And I was beyond proud of him. However, he never made me feel neglected. He always made sure I knew how much he loved me, he made sure I was safe, he wanted to protect me from everything; and he refused to believe it was impossible to protect me from all the pain. I sometimes felt like the hate some fans were sending me was affecting him more that it affected me. some of them were really hateful and rude but I found the strength to bear with it in Harry’s love. That was my drive, what kept me going, what kept me sane….

I opened the letter, more than curious to read what he had written.

     5 years! I can’t believe it’s been 5 years. It feels like it was yesterday when you and I were walking to school together, our feeling for one another hidden, buried, pushed aside. How many times I wanted to confess them, they were starting to suffocate me, becoming too much to remain hidden, unrevealed, unsaid. The fear of losing you as a friend was starting to be out powered by my feeling towards you. But I never seemed to find a good moment. Then came The X Factor, than the tours….I still remember how nervous I was the 2-week break of the Where We Are tour, ‘cause I made it my mission to tell you everything then. And when you told me you felt the same way….I could jump up and down because of how happy I was, but somehow I stayed frozen. I remember our 1st kiss and how the lingering feeling wasn’t letting me fall asleep the entire night. That was when I realized that not only worries keep you up at night, but also the exquisite happiness. I was a bit concerned how you are gonna deal with the paps and the fans but it turned out you did better than I. I made it my mission to always keep you safe and to show you my love. I guess what I’m trying to say is that these past 5 years were beyond amazing, and I’m looking forward for another 5, and another 5, and another….until we grow old and wrinkly surrounded by our grandchildren. I love you! More than anything! And you make me so happy, it’s indescribable how much I need you in my life. You are my world, you keep me sane. Every time I wake up by your side or see that smile of yours I realize how lucky I am. 
         I love you!!
                          And happy anniversary love!


       I’m really sorry I can’t be there with you right now. I wish I could’ve stayed. But we’ll see each other tonight. Already miss you!

I was smiling like from ear to ear. This warmed my heart as a few tears rolled down my cheek and fell onto the white bedclothes. He was always thoughtful, paying attention to the little things. And this letter reminded me of when we were 16-year olds. Every time he had a date it was like a sharp blade stabbed my heart. But I wasn’t gonna be selfish, ‘cause if I decided to stay silent and not to confess my feelings than I had no right to interfere in his ‘conquests’. And my heart still flatters at the thought of him. I’ve been told that with time love just fades away, and partners somehow fall into a state of passive acquaintance. But not with us. We managed to keep the spark alive.

I got up and went to take a shower. Right after I excited the bathroom I heard the buzz of my phone. I smiled widely when I glanced at the screen and saw Harry’s name. I quickly answered.

-“Hello baby.”
-“Hi love. Happy anniversary!”
-“Happy anniversary babe.”-I said. “How’s the practice going?”
-It’s going good, though I’d like to be somewhere else right now.”
-“I already miss you.”-I softly said.
-“You sound a bit upset, is everything alright?”
-“Yes, yes..everything’s fine. I’m just a little emotional honey. I read the letter. It’s was lovely Harry! And when did the 5 years go by?
Harry laughed at my last sentence.
-“True love, time really flies when I spend it with you and I am more than grateful for every second you have spent with me. I can’t believe how lucky I am!”
-”I believe I’m the lucky one.”
-“Wanna bet on that?”-Harry exclaimed, and I knew he had been smiling. I knew.                     His gorgeous smile! Dimples an all.
-“When will you get back here? To the hotel room…”
-“I don’t know honey, but I’ll know later, when I call you again.”
-“Okay.”-I sadly said.
-“Are you mad at me? Please don’t be upset, I’ll make it up to you….”
-“I know you will, you always do.”
-“Please don’t be mad at me!”
-“I’m not…”
-“I know when you’re not completely honest baby. I’ve know you, well practically, since diapers.”
       I laughed a little. He does know me pretty well. Better than anyone. Maybe even better than I know myself.
-“Well maybe a little….I just wish you were here.”
“You’re saying it like you think I don’t want to be there.”
-“I am not, I am just telling you how I feel right now.”

‘Harry let’s go! We don’t have time’ – I heard a female voice say. But I couldn’t recognize it.

-“Baby I gotta go now. I love you! Bye.” And he hung up before I had a chance to say ‘bye’.

  Well than was confusing. I decided to let my hair dry on its own, since it was a hot, hot day. I wasn’t really hungry so I just ate some fruit. But the unknown sound kept coming back to my mind. But it was too quiet for me to recognize it. And the way he hung up, immediately…strange. I didn’t really know what to think. I was over-thinking it. And then I mentally slapped myself. ‘What the fuck Ayisha?? You’re being ridiculous! It’s Harry for God’s sake! I’m going crazy…’-I thought.

At around 5 o’clock I heard the knock on the door. I assumed it was Harry since we only had one key of the hotel room, and it was still here. As I opened the door my smile slightly faded as I saw Niall at the door.

-“Well you seem happy to see me..”- he joked.
-“Hi there!”-I said giving him a hug. “of course I am happy to see you.”
-“Well I need to borrow Harry for a few minutes so he could help me out with something.”

I was confused. Harry told me he was at practice.

-“He’s not here Niall. Ar…Aren’t you supposed to..hmm…be at the practice?”
-“We were there for an hour and a half or something. We were finished around 10:30.”
-“Oh…okaaay.”-I trailed off.
-“So..he’s not here?”
-“Well I’ll go ask Payno to help me out. Nice seeing you Ayisha.”

As I closed the door, my thoughts were running wild. He wasn’t at the practice when he said he was. And a female voice…..what the hell is going on? Why would he lie? I never gave him a reason not to be honest with me. I never failed his trust. I kept going back to the female voice. It was roaming through my head every 2 minutes. He was with a woman…and he lied about it. I couldn’t help but think he was there for some other reason but a chat with a friend. No one would lie about that! I haven’t even noticed when I started crying. I laid on the covers, still the same ones we occupied together last night. The thought of him being with someone else was..aaghh..just…I don’t know how to explain what I felt when that possibility crossed my mind. I’d prefer if he had told me, it would hurt less. Well not less, but I guess it would’ve been more fair. Not like this. Finding out by accident. Maybe he wasn’t going to tell me, maybe he thought he’d get away with it. Stop it Ayisha!! Don’t exaggerate! Did I really misjudge him that much? I thought I’ve known him to pieces. I kept telling myself that he would never do anything like that. There had to be some logical explanation. That’s when I got the message. I took his letter and reread it. Then I clanged it to my chest. Not wanting to believe what my mind was telling me.

Sorry babe, this is taking longer than it should :/ But I miss you!! Xxx

I started to sob when I read it. I didn’t know how to react. I felt hurt. The idea of him cheating became more realistic in my mind. The pain in my chest suffocating. But I wasn’t gonna talk about this over the phone. It’s gonna happen face to face. And if he was, in fact, cheating, there’s no freaking way I am going to forgive him. Because if he could forget 16 years of friendship, 5 of those being a couple…if he did, there’s no use to continue this. Because it doesn’t matter how big the love is if there’s no trust, respect, honesty…just love is not enough.

It’s alright.

That was all I replied with and he didn’t send any messages until 2 hours later. Didn’t he respect me enough not to do that on our anniversary?! I was starting to believe more and more in that thought. I tried to shake that idea of, but it kept coming back.

I am taking you out tonight love. Get dressed, I’ll come back around 7. When I do I’ll just take a quick shower and change..I’ll be done in 30 minutes:D 

That was all I sent.

Are you okay love?


Are you mad?

No, stop asking me the same question…

I’m sorry! What else can I say? I already told you I’ll make it up to you…

I’ll see you when you get here…

I love you! X


I kept my replies simple. I wanted to take another shower because it was too hot and I needed some relief. I stripped and entered the shower cabin.  I turned on the water, steam hugging my body, muscles relaxing…Though it was hot outside I enjoyed the warm water running down my body.   It was finally 7 o’clock and he arrived. God he was like clockwork. “Happy anniversary!” – he said and came up to me to give me a hug. When he kissed me my lips didn’t move. His smile turned into a frown. “Still upset?”-he softly asked and I didn’t reply. “Oh so we’re playing that game? I guess I’ll let the deeds speak for themselves. I’m just gonna hop in the shower and get dressed quickly. You can change as well.”-he said.

But I didn’t. I wasn’t going anywhere before I get some explanations. I patiently waited for him to shower and get dressed.

-“Why aren’t you dressed?” – he asked.

-“’Cause I’m not going anywhere…”

He gave me a confused look. 

-“What? Wait…why?”

-“Because I need some explanations! And why is exactly what I should ask you!”

-“Explanations about what? I don’t understand what are you talking about love..”

-“Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me you were at practice?

-“Oh that,” he sighed. “I had something to take care of.”-he said with a sudden smile.
-“I believe you mean someone you had to take care of.”
-“I’m confused.”
-“Now you know how I felt almost the whole day. Fucking confused! Why.did.you.lie? What was so important you couldn’t spend our anniversary with me? And who was the woman you’ve spent the entire day with?!”
-“Baby, just relax. Calm down. It’s not what you think it is.”
-“Than how it is?? Explain me!”
-“It was Lou. I was with her. She helped me prepare a surprise I had planned for you.”

I remained silent. How was I that stupid!!

-“A surprise? For me?”
-“Yes. For you. I wanted to do something special for our anniversary. You know I’m not particularly good at romantic stuff..”
-“Oh God..I’m sorry. I’m an idiot!”
-No babe, you’re not. I get it, you were concerned.”
He said and scooted me into a warm hug. He kissed me softly and said: “Let’s get going.”
-“But I’m not dressed yet…”-I trailed off.
-“It’s okay. You’re perfect the way you are. Now, let’s go.”

The whole car ride was pretty much silent, though he held my hand and rubbed small circles onto my palm. The ride lasted less than 15 minutes. We pulled in the yard of some house I haven’t seen before. But it looked really nice. White façade and a really nice front yard. I excited the vehicle before Harry had managed to come by my door to open it for me, as he intended.  I looked around not being able to figure out what his surprise was. My smile was wide and my heart beating fast.  I was anxious to find out what it was. Harry came behind my back and wrapped his hands around my belly, and placed his head in the crock of my neck. He lightly kissed me on the cheek and I heard his chuckle a little.

-“I see you’re anxious to find out.”
-“You bet I am.”
-“Good to know.”
-“You know I like surprises.”
-“Yap, I do babe. Now let’s go inside”

The inside was even more beautiful. The warm colors on the walls and furniture and interesting decorations. Everything looked relaxing and soothing.  We passed the hallway and Harry took his shoes off so I did the same. Then we passed by the kitchen and the dining room, which were on the left side of the living room we soon entered. I was surprised we hadn’t stopped in there. Then he placed his hand over my eyes and led towards, what I later found out, was a glass door. But the back was nothing like the front. Instead of the grass there was sand. It was all sand and dark blue Mediterranean Sea ahead.

I looked around on the left and I noticed an already set table.He had placed candles on each side of the path that led to it.

I slowly went over there and saw a big bouquet of roses placed next to a blue middle sized, squared box.

-“You like it?”
-“Like?? I absolutely love it!!”

I smiled and jumped a little. Then I hugged him tightly. As I looked up to him our lips met. They collided into a passionate kiss. We pulled back in order to breathe in vital air. He gave me the roses. They smelled beautiful.


Then he took the blue box and simply said: “Open it love.” I opened the box which held a beautiful necklace inside. He remembered! A few weeks ago I told him about the necklace I saw, but I couldn’t by it since it was a limited edition and they were all preordered. How the hell did he find it??!

“Dear Lord, it’s so beautiful!! Thank you so much baby!”

He silently took it, making it seem petite in his palms. He then went behind me, moved my hair aside and it fell over my left shoulder. He placed the necklace around my neck and came to my front.
“It looks really good on you. Blue always soothed you..and red…well any color.”I didn’t know how to reply, and I felt the blood rise up to my cheeks. We kissed. And after we’d pull away for air we’d stare into each other’s eyes, and then kiss some more. And more. Until he said we should eat.

In the middle of our conversation while eating I remembered. I remembered I forgot the gift I had bought him in the hotel room. I mentally slapped myself.

-“This is embarrassing.”-I accidentally said, quite, but still loud enough for him to hear.
-“What is embarrassing love?”-Harry asked in confusion.
-I..I..Well I forgot the gift for you in the hotel room. Because I was mad at you and I…I…
-“It’s okay baby,”-he said. A smirk suddenly appeared on his face. “You can always make it up to me somehow.”
-“How?”-I replied teasingly.
-“I’m sure we can think of a way or two.”

An hour later he ran towards the kitchen to get as our dessert, he said he had made himself. He came back carrying a small cake; and may I add, my favorite one! “This looks delicious baby!” I looked down at my plate to take a bite of chocolate goodness. As I lifted my head up he was in front of me, down on one knee, holding an opened, red, small box with a gorgeous ring inside.


My mouth hung slightly open, and I could already feel the tears form in my eyes.

“We’ve had some good and bad times, we’ve had a rough patch, not long ago, and we managed to get through. I wouldn’t trade the past 5 years for anything! You’ve always been my best friend, my love, my sanity…you were always there for me, you believed in me when no one else did. You kept me grounded, you showed me what true love is. You are the main source of my happiness. You became as vital as air, in such a short period of time it used to scare me. So Ayisha Y/L/N will you do me the honor  of becoming my beloved wife? Will you marry me?”

My heartrate was wild, my eyes watery…a few tears rolling down my cheeks. I was speechless for a minute. It was beautiful.

“Ye-yes, yes I will.”-I shakily said and leaned down to him and our lips connected in a most loving kiss we have ever shared.  After 3 minutes or so he looked me in the eyes and then out the ring on my finger.

“You just made me the happiest man alive.”


That was long. xxx