i want to say this is the best line of the show but that's probably a lie

anonymous asked:

Mtl moon signs? 🌹

A rose, my absolute favorite! Thank you babe! 🌹 Ok, this is my opinion and my personal experience which.. people are bound to hate on but it’s all good:

Leo Moon - My Moon sign so I may be bias, but I don’t think so because who doesn’t love the light that shines from the soul of those with a Leo Moon? They’re like little babies, they do need you to give them attention or they won’t stop whining. It can be a little pathetic at times. But whatever you deliver to the Leo Moon, they’ll deliver 10x harder. You show them love, they’ll show you their heart. You show them attitude, they’ll show you hell. They have the most heart warming smiles and they are beautiful people inside and outside. Like their element, a Leo Moon is fiery with a confident and sassy personality. It is hard to truly bring down the Leo Moon because they won’t allow it. They have a thick layer of pride and a strong sense of self. Their crown is untouchable and their throne they sit upon; unreachable. 

Sagittarius Moon - If theres a Moon sign that can show you that life is worth living so make sure you live it to the fullest.. it’s a Sagittarius Moon. Everything about the Sagittarius Moon is genuine, they are honest people. No lie, they can be a little too brutal and rude at times. But I do believe it’s because they have a no bullshit type of attitude and they choose people wisely. They don’t necessarily want pessimistic and life sucking people in their life who can’t take a joke. You can never and will never stop their party. Sagittarius Moons are hilarious, assertive and of course, like their element, fiery individuals with much personality. Behind the large smile and jovial personality, however, is a heart. They put on a bold frontier and they mask their true feelings with a laugh, but they are human. They seem to reminder others that we’re human and that it’s ok for us to make mistakes and feel ugly emotions, but I think Sagittarius Moons forget that themselves too.

Aries Moon - Some of the best and the most genuine people in my life were and are Aries Moons. I’m going to say what we all know but Aries Moons are honest people with their emotions. That is strength. They show their happiness, they show their anger and they show their sadness too, for the most part. I’m not here to make fun of them for it, but I’m here to thank them because I don’t have to guess what they’re feeling because they’d rather show me and tell me. I deeply appreciate the honesty. Not to mention that they’re fierce individuals with a lot of personality. An Aries Moon knows how to assert themselves because they are quick to react. Whether the reaction is good or bad, it’s a reaction and they won’t hide how you’ve made them feel. They’re unapologetic people too and what’s not to love about someone who is one, who is unapologetically themselves? That’s inspirational. An Aries Moon knows who they are, don’t play yourself.

Taurus Moon - I have my Moon in the 2nd House so naturally, I’m drawn to Taurus Moons. The vibe that they give off is indescribable because they make you feel so good and at peace. I can never find the words to truly describe. I feel as though they’re so breathtaking and they usually find comfort in the person they are. A Taurus Moon owns their emotions, themselves and their soul. I believe that’s why they’re so put together and stable for the most part. They don’t react right away, but when they do react it’s appropriate because they’ve processed the situation and made their decision. A Taurus Moon, to me, is empowering because they are so confident with themselves and their intentions to the point where they encourage others to do the same. Not even, they don’t have to encourage others, because others are naturally inspired by them as well. Taurus Moons are sensual and they have fine taste. Fine taste in people, food, clothes, books, etc. They know what they’re doing.

Pisces Moon - This is the Moon sign of one of my best friends and a whole bunch of other wonderful people in my life. Sometimes I feel the need to protect them because, I’m not gonna lie, they can get stepped on and befriend the wrong people. They are the most selfless and most forgiving and tolerant people I know. You want a Pisces Moon in your life to keep you sane, to comfort you when times are hard and to know that they’ll love and care for you unconditionally. In return, I always have their backs if anything. Pisces Moons are ethereal and have unmatched personalities, you won’t ever find someone like them. Contrary to popular belief, Pisces Moons aren’t these depressive people others make them out to be. If anything, a Pisces Moon can make you laugh like no other and they are one of the most optimistic people you will ever encounter. I believe it’s their nocturnal Jupiter side. A Pisces Moon loves a good laugh, they’re probably always laughing too. Don’t let what others say fool you. Yes, they can be one hell of an emotional mess, but they are quick to bounce back. They’re fun people.

Cancer Moon - Again, one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. A Cancer Moon is strong, believe it or not, they have so much strength but a soft spot on the inside. They know how to defend themselves and especially their loved ones. The biggest mistake you can ever do is threaten the people they hold near and dear to their heart. Of course, anyone will get into a fight over their loved ones, but a Cancer Moon will go to war for them. It’s important, so I’ve learned, to be gentle with the feelings of a Cancer Moon because the slightest hurt can make them remember it forever and ever. They don’t hold a grudge like other Moon signs would, they just remember you, good or bad, by the feeling your name, your touch or your presence evokes in them. A Cancer Moon remembers, never forgets, so be careful. Not to mention, how good hearted people they are. They’re so welcoming to others and they never make people feel out of place. I guess thats why I grew to love them because they make you feel like you’re part of their family. 

Capricorn Moon - Severely underrated, Capricorn Moons are some of the most hilarious people I’ve ever encountered in my life. Stereotypically, a Capricorn Moon is known to be pessimistic and dull, but it’s the opposite. I’ve felt as though they know how to make you laugh and show you a good time. Maybe, deep inside, they are miserable but we wouldn’t really know because no one truly knows a Capricorn Moon like that. i like them though, I like how they are to themselves, observant and a little private at times. But not so much to their friends, they’re sweeter to their friends and also all-knowing. They’re old souls, thats what they are, an old soul. An old soul that simply knows how to have a good time when they get the chance to. I believe that Capricorn Moons are that stern friend that gives you a reality check when you need one, but also that friend that can cheer you up with a laugh and let you rant or vent your heart out. They understand. I think.. the most understanding Moon sign. I may say that because they are the wisest in my eyes. 

Gemini Moon - Another one of the funniest Moon signs you can come across. A Gemini Moon can talk and talk, but they can also listen and listen well. It’s hard to believe, but a Gemini Moon can and will listen to you. The only problem I truly have with them is how severely pessimistic they can be at times and also.. a tad bit dramatic. It’s obvious that a Gemini Moon is restless, nervous and anxious too. Like their other Mercurial Moon sign, a Gemini Moon can, what I like to call it, over-feel. Many emotions can swirl around and they don’t know how to deal with it so they may sigh and say “Whatever, my life sucks, it’s pointless”. But while they mull there depressingly for a while, a few minutes later they’ll be laughing and feel a little better. That’s what it’s like being a Gemini Moon, I suppose. You never know what you’re going to feel next or how you’ll react to something. Is that so? 

Virgo Moon - The Moon sign of one of my best friends and a few other people in my life. I love how caring and helpful a Virgo Moon is, I really do. Sometimes it breaks my heart how forgiving and caring they can be to the people that don’t even deserve an apology at all. That’s sad and a Virgo Moon needs someone who can protect them, in a way, because they can get taken advantage of if they’re not careful. What I don’t like is how harshly critical they can be at times. Since they don’t know their place, they can step out of line and give their opinion when no one asked and no one cares about. I suggest some Virgo Moons be a little careful with this cause they might give their two cents to someone who doesn’t even need a single one. Also, theres a hidden insecurity to Virgo Moons. They can dish out criticism, but can’t handle it back. One critic in the right spot can tear them apart. 

Scorpio Moon - I have a love/hate relationship with Scorpio Moons. I dated a Scorpio Moon before and I’m not complaining at all! But I did have rough experiences with them as well.. and they’re dead to me as I type this. I happen to really love them or really hate them. What I love about them is how they listen and care for you. A Scorpio Moon will suffer in silence, most do, for the sake of helping their loved ones. They do put their loved ones needs before theirs, believe it or not, and that is admirable and appreciated. Scorpio Moons are excellent at listening to you and that’s a quality of theirs that I love the most. They truly do listen to you and most can remember little details you’ve told them. Now on to what I don’t like or can do without about them: their envious nature, pettiness and.. suspicious acts. Theres absolutely no denying a Scorpio Moon can be envious and jealous. Most own up to this too. Personally, I just think it’s depressing that one can be so hung up on the life of someone else. It’s miserable if you ask me. Scorpio Moons, most, take pride in being petty. They know it and they don’t care. They will treat you how you treat them and are.. practically unforgivable and show no mercy. The number one problem I have with them is their suspicious behavior. How what they preach.. fails to show through their actions. I’ve had Scorpio Moons cozy up to me and spill some tea about other people that they’re friends with. I never bought into it and always questioned their loyalty. But hmm.. maybe just the ones I’ve encountered.

Libra Moon - Not my most favorite Moon sign, but I do have a good handful of wonderful Libra Moons in my life. What I adore about them is their generosity. A Libra Moon shares what they have with others, they share their beauty. They’re almost too nice! And that’s the problem I have. A Libra Moon gets their way by being nice to others and you can’t say no. Personally, I give the crown of finessing to a Libra Moon. I’ve seen Libra Moons spoil the hell out of someone and when they need something done, usually something that starts drama, they’ll go to you and ask you to do them a specific favor that is usually guaranteed to pull you in some drama. The catch is you can’t turn them down. Why? Because they’ve done so much for you already. I’ve seen this happen so many times. I’ve almost fallen victim to it too. A Libra Moon kept giving me compliments, gassing my pictures up and even buying things for me that I would decline and refuse to accept. She slowly started to drag me into some drama and ask me to choose sides, but I refused again. It is such a specific pattern that I noticed Libra Moons do. They’re wonderful people, I know they are, and maybe they’re not aware over what they’re doing. Sometimes they don’t realize that they’re dragging people into shit they don’t want no part in. I’m not dumb, I notice it. That’s why they rank so low in my list because they don’t realize when they take advantage of people. Just because you spoil people, doesn’t mean they’ll clean up your mess or take the bullet for you. You can’t buy someones trust and respect, you earn it. Preferably through actions.

Aquarius Moon - Of the countless friends I have, I have much love and respect for one Aquarius Moon. I’m not a mean person, I have some things I admire about you guys so I’ll state those before I get into what I don’t like much. You have personality, Aquarius Moons are some damn characters. You know someone is an Aquarius Moon when they be doing and saying some questionable shit with confidence. Thats how you know. You know how to make people laugh too. I’m not easily impressed and its hard to make me laugh, but you guys actually can make me laugh. Ya weird as hell, but its dumb funny. What I don’t like is the lack of care you have for the people in your life. Well, I’ll rephrase it to lack of showing care for the people in your life. It can be saddening at times because you have people who genuinely are concerned for you and adore you, but you don’t even realize that they still doubt you at times because you don’t show care. Perhaps, deep inside you do but.. we don’t know that. I don’t have much to say about Aquarius Moons because I can go on and on about what disturbs me about the Aquarius Moon but I’ll leave it at that. I know a few Aquarius Moons that like to use their friends for clout though but Imma say less lol. 


  • Bin is that friendly kid that goes out a lot and rarely studies but still ends up with good grades somehow no one knows how he does it
  • (even his best friend/roommate minhyuk who manages to balance studies + dance still gets lower marks than he does, neither of them really know why)
  • so Bin never really goes to the library, he’s never had the need to.
  • up until the day he’s on his way back to the from class and sees this really really pretty boy cross his path
  • the boy looks about his height, he’s got coffee in one hand and he’s gripping the strap of the back pack over his shoulder with the other 
  • he doesn’t really know why he feels compelled to follow the boy but bin’s always been the whimsical type and he’s really got nowhere to be and no one will know suspect that he’s going to the library only to stare at the pretty boy since he has his bag from class
  • maybe he’ll do some work while he’s there ONLY so he doesn’t look suspicious
  • the boy walks into the library and bin follows, choosing to take a table far away enough from the boy but also close enough that he can still stare.
  • its only 5 minutes in and Bin is seriously wondering what he’s doing 
  • did he really just come to the library to stare at a handsome stranger
  • its not like he has a crush or anything you can’t crush on someone you’ve never talked to 
  • except anyone else who knew of the situation would probably call it a crush, since bin starts going back to the library regularly to stare at study boy. 
  • he’s pretty lowkey about it and he’s sure study boy hasn’t caught on, since study boy is always absorbed in his work
  • except for dongmin has caught on. 
  • the first couple of days he thought nothing of it, some guy just hanging around at a table across the library for a few days, probably has a big project or test and needs a quiet place to study. 
  • but after two weeks of consistently seeing this same guy he starts to get curious. one time he walked passed the guy’s table on his way to the reference books (which he didn’t actually need) only to notice the guy wasn’t actually working he was just doodling in his notebook which made him wonder
  • what kind of guy goes to the library to draw
  • what kind of guy goes to the library to draw in a regular lined notebook
  • what kind of guy goes to the library to draw in a regular lined notebook every single day 
  • dongmin began trying to break it down - this guy wasn’t an art major (no offense his drawing skills needed quite a bit of work, and usually art kids had sketch books to draw in) - but that’s really the only thing he knew
  • back at moonrock dorm, rocky questions why bin’s been going to the library so much, it’s not like he ever studies
  • bin counters that maybe he’s just decided that he should study and the library encourages him to do that
  • minhyuk rolls his eyes and goes ‘mhmmm’ but drops the subject
  • bin sticks his tongue out at the back of minhyuks head
  • but it does make him realize, he’s been staring at study boy for three weeks and he still doesn’t know his name
  • so day 16 of going to the library (he only goes on weekdays), Bin sits himself down across from pretty study boy
  • he doesn’t really have a plan of action but nothing is ever gonna happen if he just sits around and stares from afar, might as well go for it 
  • “hi i’m moon bin”
  • “….dongmin”
  • “uh, what’re you working on?”
  • “calculus”
  • “are you any good at it?”
  • “i suppose, why” 
  • “i’m really struggling and you seem to know what you are doing”
  • (which by the way is a total lie bin isn’t struggling with calculus, it’s not his best subject but he gets by fine in the class)
  • “its not too bad as long as you understand the concepts first.”
  • “would you be willing to help me understand those concepts?”
  • dongmin is hyper aware that this is library table number 7 boy that always comes to doodle and not study, and he’s really got no reason to help the kid out since the kid never seems to even study anyway 
  • BUT library table number 7 boy is really really cute up close and dongmin would be even more stupid to turn down the opportunity to make library table number 7 boy into library table dongmin boy
  • a few days of tutoring sessions later and if bin wasn’t head over heels before, he definitely is now. 
  • not only is study boy really pretty but he’s also really kind and smart and his voice is soft and sometimes bin makes a joke and study boy laughs with this really pretty opened mouthed smile and his eyes curve up into crinkles and wow #bestdecisionofhislife was to start talking to pretty boy
  • one day dongmin is explaining integrals to him but bin is getting distracted by how long dongmin’s eyelashes are and the way his lips move as he speaks 
  • wow he kind of really wants to kiss him 
  • oh wait is he already kissing him something feels soft against his lips
  • dongmin’s eyes go wide and he drops the pencil he was holding
  • shit fuck abort abort bin did u really just do that did u really just kiss study boy while he was showing you how to do calculus
  • bin drops everything and just gets out of there as fast as he can
  • study boy will probably never talk to him again
  • he can’t go back to the library again ever
  • he doesn’t stop running until he gets back to his dorm room, flings himself on to his bed and buries his burning red face into his pillow
  • god he knew he was whimsical and spontaneous and just did things because he felt like it and didn’t try to over think things but that was #thestupidestdecisionofhislife
  • what bin doesn’t realize is dongmin never actually pulled away from the kiss
  • dongmin is confused to say the least 
  • he was surprised and not surprised when bin kissed him
  • he didn’t expect it to happen when he was writing out a formula but its not like bin was ever really subtle about liking dongmin anyway
  • after dongmin recovers from the shock of bin kissing him then running away, he realizes bin left all of his stuff at the table. 
  • he packs up his stuff for him, noticing the notebook that bin had been drawing in so much back when he was still sitting at table number 7. 
  • he knows he probably shouldn’t open it, but he’s curious and bin doesn’t have to know
  • he flips it open and finds countless doodles of himself accompanied with small notes of “how can someone be so pretty”
  • now it’s dongmin’s turn to go red
  • he ruffles through the bag to find a couple of stickers they hand out the dorms, kind of like a ‘dorm spirit’ kind of deal, and he figures that must be bins dorm
  • he swings his own backpack over his shoulder and carries bin’s in his arm
  • he’s walking up to the building and notices another kid locking up his bike in a hurry at the dorm’s bike rack and figures he probably lives there and might know bin
  • “hey there, do you happen to know a moon bin?”
  • minhyuk looks up at him
  • “yeah, he’s my roommate actuallly, why do you ask?”
  • “he left his stuff in the library.”
  • minhyuk raises an eyebrow at the mention of library. 
  • “….he left all of his stuff in the library?”
  • “yeah.”
  • minhyuk sighs, now realizing the reason bin had texted him ‘CRISIS’ and that he should ‘COME TO THE DORM ASAP’ because Bin ‘REALLY NEEDS TO TALK’ to him.
  • he offered to take it up to him, but dongmin shook his head, saying he would rather deliver it himself
  • (he didn’t want to risk this kid stealing any of bins stuff because how would he know for sure he’s really bins roommate) 
  •  minhyuk thinks thats a fair reason, and gestures for dongmin to follow him into the dorm, swiping his ID at the door. 
  • he opens the door to moonrock’s dorm room, only to find bin curled up in his bed head smashed into the pillow. 
  • now minhyuk could either be a good friend and take bin’s stuff from dongmin and thank him and then talk to bin about what happened like bin wanted.
  • or he could be a really good friend and let dongmin return the stuff to bin himself while minhyuk goes to the vending machine and buy himself snacks.
  • minhyuk decides to be a really good friend
  • and so dongmin is left in bin’s dorm room, bin unaware that its dongmin and not minhyuk 
  • “….uh….hi….you left your stuff in the library.”
  • dongmin’s voice makes bin squeak in shock and remove himself from his pillow, locking eyes with dongmin
  • “ohmygodi’msosorrypleaseforgetieverdidthatiwasntthinkingjustforge-”
  • “i prefer to kiss after the first date, but you’re cute so i can make an exception. just please don’t run away after you kiss me the second time”
All evidence that proves Shiro is a sleeper agent, and also a robot

OK EVERYONE I have some incredibly hard evidence regarding Shiro and his… “escape”. 

I think that this version of Shiro really thinks he is the real Shiro, but this is far from the truth.

His escape was all part of the plan. A plan to make sure he really believes that he is the real Shiro, and will behave like him as well. Every single part of it was set up so that the Galra and trick and track Voltron. That includes those 2 rebels. They were in on it. Read more below, it’s gonna be long.

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honestly i dont even really know how to begin this like??? i feel like i have so much to say it was just the best day of my Entire Ugly Life. im so honored i really am it was just the most beautiful experience ever nd also so funny lkafsfsa i can’t wait to share with you !! 

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Warm Welcome

Summary: Y/N deals with Jared being away and Jared tries to help

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 947

Warnings: Daddy!Jared, Le Fluff

A/N: 1k Drabble Shenanigans! Prompt is bolded and requested by @sea040561 (who it wont let me tag). Thanks a bunch to my betas @impala-dreamer and @jpadjackles !!


Holding your sleeping daughter in your arms, you pulled up FaceTime and clicked your husband’s name. It was 8 am in Vancouver and you knew he would be on his way to the airport right now. The call barely had any time to ring before it started connecting to the video chat. You saw Jared’s face pop up and next to his was Jensen’s doing his weird cross-eyed thing.

A big smile grew on your face as you chuckled, seeing your family on the screen. “Hi babe, hi Jensen, and Cliff who I’m sure is driving the car,” you tried to say as loud as you could without waking your daughter.

Jensen shoved his face further into the picture, pushing Jared out of the way, “Show me that cute baby of yours, I can’t get enough of her.”

You turned the phone to Leighton’s face as Jared turned to Jensen saying, “You can’t get enough of her?! I think that’s suppose to be my line dude.”

“Well you may not be able to see her as much right now but at least you get to keep her. Danneel and I always have to give her back,” Jensen said with a pout.

“Well why don’t you and D start having your own babies?” you deadpanned.

Jensen grew quiet, growing a blush in his cheeks, trying to hide his smile, as Jared looked anywhere but the phone. “Jensen Ross! Is there something you need to tell me?!”

Jensen had a grin ear to ear, “I wasn’t supposed to tell you! Danneel wanted to be the one to tell you, but yeah, we’re pregnant.”

Your heart swelled for your best friends, “I’m so happy for you guys!”

“If Danneel wasn’t up here right now she would have already told you,” Jensen said, rubbing the back of his neck, “OK after dropping that bomb I’m gonna give you two a minute alone since we’re a few minutes away from the airport.”

Jared quickly stuck his earbuds in so you two could have some sort of privacy. You took a deep breath in and smiled softly at your husband, “Hi.”

“Hi baby,” Jared said as his eyebrows scrunched together, “What’s wrong?”

You pursed your lips together, “Nothing, why would you think something’s wrong?

“You’re sad, don’t lie to me. You’re doing that pouty thing you do when you’re upset.”

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Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason
You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they’re SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious.
The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs.
100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds.
99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING.
98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank.
97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym.
96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person.
95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is
94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here.
93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.”
92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is.
91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT.
90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen?
89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it.
88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly
87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter… “Rebecca is here?…….now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE.
86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever….
85. Derrick Barry: Nope.
84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner
83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?!
82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK.
81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don’t appreciate.
80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina.
79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst.
78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too.
77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her.
76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul.
75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don’t prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way.
74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care?
73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah… that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?!
72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself.
71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks.
70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust.
69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive.
68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY……BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?!
67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much.
66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess’ look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted.
65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great.
64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so…
63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be.
62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding.
61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her.
60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch.
59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS)
58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER.
57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot.
56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT.
55: Acid Betty: I don’t remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS.
54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it.
53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you?
52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders.
51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever.
50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS “SWAMP CRED” She was so fat her hormones were just like “WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know.
49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC.
Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn.
48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline.
47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT.
46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can’t. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce.
45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE… and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill.
44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED.
43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens.
42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER!
41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE….
40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you’ll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person!
39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you.
38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor.
37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important.
36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit.
Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot” in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they’re by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered… fuckin pussies.
35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real.
34. Victoria “Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins.
32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy.
31. Pearl:
31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE!
30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make.
29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends.
28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won’t believe this but its true, she’s a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?!
27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool!
26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED… SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important.
OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!… yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!!
25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH!
24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing.
23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don’t like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people.
22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware”. Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL “I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog).” . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with.
21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME.
20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I.
19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can’t really get from TV.
18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh)
17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS!
16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD… and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don’t believe me???.. check out the hemline.
15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good.
14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”.
13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out.
12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”.
11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE.
10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW.
9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber… well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER.
8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a “read off”. She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK…. thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!?
7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around.
6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose.
5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid.
4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN.
Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?!
Alyssa is an America treasure!
3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean….
Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD.
2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE.
Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE… and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore!
1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said “I NEED TO BE HERE.” Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP.
Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.

anonymous asked:

Did you see Last Game already? At the end of the movie Aomine said he wants to go to America to play for NBA :D So what if before that, he's in college and likes a girl in his university, she likes him too and they have a nice, close relationship but neither has confessed to the other, then Aomine gets scouted and has to train in America. She sends him off, then Aomine kisses her, hot and steamy looool, at the airport and tells her to wait for him. SFW obviously haha, I think thats rare for him!

To the anon who requested this, if this piece is totally off the mark you can correct me! I feel like I misinterpreted somehow lol

Also this is extremely hard for me to write this because I’m in a long distance relationship (different countries) and we’ve just drifted apart, so basically my brain is telling me their relationship won’t work even as I write this. Sorry again I’m such a failure ;v;

(I also haven’t seen Last Game)

Plug-ins: If you want to commission me or want to donate, I’ll be happy to accept! Commissions are wide open!

You figure he keeps you around because you are less of a mom to him compared to Satsuki, whom you also hang out with, but that is not the only reason. Although Aomine is not trying to particularly hide it, he has feelings for you that include dates, snuggling, and some less than appropriate bedroom activities—which are obviously too friendly.

For a long time he thought that his feelings show, though, and he was scared of you calling him out for it because he wasn’t ready, but then he got that email.

He broke the news to you and Satsuki first like it was nothing but the weather before telling his fellow basketball friends. He read the acceptance letter and told the two of you that he will be gone within two months. That day was the day your heart was torn: on one side of the coin, you are thrilled and excited for this opportunity, and you are proud of him for working hard to pursue this dream that is close to coming true. On the other side, you want to cry your eyes out because you know you are going to be lonely and he is probably going to have so much fun there and meet somebody new…

“Hey, you okay?”

The voice that snaps you back to reality is Aomine’s, and you can tell that he’s actually concerned, which straightens you up. 

“Oh, yeah,” you reply dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

“You were making a face,” he adds as if he knows you’re lying. Maybe he does. You’re so out of it that you can’t make a decision.

 “Probably because I was thinking of my assignments,” you shrug, obviously making things up, no matter how plausible it may seem. You would be slightly disappointed if he doesn’t catch on that it is more than just your assignments that is on your mind, but if he did pursue his line of questioning you would have trouble convincing him.

“Come on,” he says, nearly rolling his eyes at you. “Find a better excuse.” You are slightly surprised at him for not buying your white lie, but then again, why did you want to lie to him in the first place? You are genuinely going to miss him, nicely kept more-than-friends feelings or not, what’s the harm in telling him that?

“I just… I feel like I’m going to be lonely without you here.”

Now it is his turn to be surprised, so much so that he almost stops in his tracks while he walks home with you. There is a glimmer of hope in his eyes that he doesn’t want you to notice, because perhaps it would ruin his chances of having you reciprocate his feelings.

“I mean I still have Satsuki, so I think I’ll be fine! But, you know, things are surely bound to be different without you around.”

The rest of the short walk home is silent, and you would think that you made the situation awkward, but the fact that the two of you are quietly letting the facts sink in makes it more serious than awkward. He will physically disappear—not off the face of the world, but off the face of yours. You won’t feel the warmth he emanates when he stands next to you or the sensation of his hands on your shoulder or arm as he casually touches you. Because he won’t be here with you. For how long, you don’t know.

“It’s going to be different without you, too,” he says when you reach your house. You share another few seconds of silence as you look at him, before you nod with a whispered ‘see you tomorrow’. He watches as your back disappears beyond the door and leaves.

You cry yourself to sleep that night.

For the rest of your days together, you spend it serenely, enjoyably, yet fearful of the time he has to depart. Fearful because you must suppress your feelings for him, not wanting to hold him back or make the situation worse—even if he does return your feelings for him, the two of you would only have less than two months left, and it is honestly more painful that way.

Aomine shares the same dilemma, and the pain he feels by trying to not get too close to you while not pushing you away can only be relieved when he plays basketball. You’re such a big part of his life to the point that you’re inescapable, even in his thoughts, where you unknowingly made a nest. 

He shames himself for being the unluckiest human being that is blessed with something so miraculous at such a wrong time that it has become the ultimate curse. 

But life rolls on and there are responsibilities that must be faced, so after spending seven weeks of usual daily life with sprinkles of celebratory-slash-farewell outings here and there, the day that you dread arrives. Aomine has never felt so conflicted in his life.

The luggage checked in, he returns to you, Satsuki, and his basketball friends for one last chat. It is your first time meeting the colorful group, and you being amused is an understatement. Kagami sincerely wishes him the best of luck, since he himself was scouted but chose to finish his studies before going to the States to train, while the others offer him similar sentiments. Kise is slightly more melodramatic, a stark contrast to Midorima who is the most formal of them all—Akashi is surprisingly more casual. Murasakibara doesn’t particularly cares except for the prospect of American snacks being brought back home to Japan. Kuroko seems like he is not showing much emotion, but everyone can tell that he’s feeling bittersweet.

You are all laughing at something Kise said when you hear the announcement for Aomine’s flight. Everybody is silenced.

Then Momoi tackles the tanned boy into a hug, tears running down her face as he pats her head. When she let go, Kise is next to embrace him, followed by Kagami, in which the two show him genuine signs of friendship. Wishes of success and luck are offered along with pats on the back and shoulders. Aomine sends everyone a small smile before his eyes land on you.

“Bye,” you whisper, eyes wet but you aren’t crying yet.

You expect a hug, but instead, he has a hand around your waist and another on your jaw, pulling you close for a deep kiss. Your eyes widen at the sensation of his soft lips on yours, and while you shyly kiss him back as your eyes flutter closed, Aomine returns it with a thousand times the fervor and desperation. He kisses you like it’s world end, too lost in you to care about the squeals and whoops his friends are making at the scene. 

After what seems like minutes, the two of you pull away for air, and you’re painfully aware of the heat on your cheeks, the hollers and amused chuckles from his group of friends, and the way your legs are too weak to hold up. Aomine acts as it’s just the two of you in the whole Haneda Airport, brushing a strand of stray hair away from your face before he leans in again, leaving a short and sweet kiss. 

“Wait for me,” he whispers, “I’ll come back for you.”

It honestly feels like a dream to you from there on out—you watch as his back disappears beyond the departure gates, but not before he sends all of you one last wave. While you are convinced it is a sick way of your mind playing tricks on you, you have seven other witnesses to prove you otherwise. Satsuki seems really excited as she talks about the dramatic scene you shared with her childhood friend, while the boys chattered idly about it with only Kise occasionally teasing you.

You also have a text from Aomine saying “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you”, so the kiss did happen after all.

anonymous asked:

Can you do one were you Paul's imprint and you have been to bonfires and u all are messing around and then you meet Bella if no that's fine. Love your writing

Title: Bonfire

I’m glad you love my writing!

“Sammy,” you pouted, crossing your arms. All of the boys immediately grew quiet at the never-used nickname. He was the alpha, he’s seen as the macho-man of everything they do, but you calling him Sammy turned that around completely.

“Don’t call me that,” Sam scolds lightly, giving you an annoyed look. You all know that he can’t hurt you, but he’s still scary. However, Emily sits down between you two and rolls her eyes.

“You two are weird,” she starts, looking between the two of you, “but i’d much rather not watch you anger him and cause everyone here to face the repercussions of it. If you want to pet a wolf, why not just ask, oh, I don’t know, your soul mate, Paul?” Emily questions.

“Because Sam is huge and scary and I would feel so cool! I’ve already pet the entire pack. I just need to pet Sam,” you tell her, crossing your arms and leaning into Paul. Immediately, his arms wrap around you. Your eyes gaze into the fire after that, listening to your surroundings.

“Bella’s here!” you perk up immediately, scanning the area and finding Jake walking with a pretty girl with brown hair and extremely pale skin. Is she a vampire? you think to yourself, scrunching your eyebrows together. Embry surrounds Bella, probably saying things to embarrass Jake.

“Okay, well, getting away from him,” Jake laughs awkwardly, leading Bella towards you, “meet Paul’s imprint, (Y/N).”

“Hi, i’m Bella,” she begins, holding out her hand in greeting.

You reach out to shake her hand, “(Y/N).”

“Can I speak to you in private?” Bella mumbles, looking around the pack in embarrassment; the boys pretend that they’re not listening in.

“Uh, sure? What’s up?” you drag her away to the tree lining, since Paul would worry if you weren’t in his sights. He’s extremely protective.

“I didn’t want to ask in front of him, but how can you… like Paul?” Bella questions. Your mouth falls open immediately.

“Well, despite what you think, he can be a nice person, Bella,” you state, crossing your arms. You have heard the boys talk about her when Jake wasn’t around and she sounded like a total bitch, but her having the audacity to judge Paul without truly knowing him angers you.

“I wasn’t trying to be mean-” you cut Bella off, shaking your head.

“Well, then instead of asking the person he’s meant to be with why I can like him, maybe you should hang out with him without slapping him and maybe he’ll grow on you. I get it, he’s a hot head and gets mad easily, and that turned me off of him in the beginning, but I did try to stay away from him. I was petrified of Paul, but now I feel so stupid for not giving him a chance.”

“Again, I didn’t mean to sound mean, alright? And I slapped him because-”

“Because Jake wouldn’t tell you what he was and the pack ‘scared’ him, so you took it out on Paul. After that, he was so mad. He ran off from the fight with Jake and wandered to me unconsciously. That’s when I truly began to fall in love with him because no matter how angry he was or how scary I thought he was… I comforted him and he didn’t try to hurt me, even though all he wanted to do was hit something. So don’t ask my why I can love such a hot head like Paul because you don’t know half of our story,” you storm away from Bella and back to the group. You knew they were all listening, but you didn’t care. You made your way to the food table and began to grab your favorite dish. You already ate, but now you were just eating because you were angry.

“(Y/N), I’m really sorry, I-”

You turn away from her to show Bella that you’re not in the mood to talk, so you sit down in your seat again. No on speaks, but they do watch you.

“I’ll let you pet me,” Sam says in the silence. You don’t look over at him, keeping your eye on the fire.

“Don’t pity me, Sam. Jesus, i’m fine,” you hiss.

“No, you’re not,” Emily counters.

“Whatever. I’m over it now,” you mutter, “Bella, can you grab me a water, please?” You grin at her. For a second, she looks confused, but then she runs over to a cooler and takes out a water. She tosses it to you and you catch it perfectly, “I just wanted to see how you’d react to that. I kind of went over board,” you lie smoothly. She looks at you skeptically, but nods and gives you a soft smile.

“I hope that we can become friends, then.”

(I’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but I thought of this immediately, since I don’t think Bella really likes Paul at all, so I figured this was best… I hope you like it, though! :) )

Iwa-senpai's Fanfiction Recommendation List!

I have gotten a few requests on my Instagram (iwaizumi_hajime) on what some of my favorite fanfictions are, so I figured that I would post them here on my tumblr! I have fanfiction from three series; Haikyuu, Diamond no Ace, and Big Windup. I love getting recommendations from everyone, too, so if you don’t see something on my list, don’t be shy to tell me so that I can read it :)

Disclaimer: I may or may not edit this in the future, so keep your eyes out for more!

** = definite favorite, 10/10 would recommend!

this is really long and obnoxious, I apologize for being obsessed.

Keep reading

The Art of Slay. ~Bonus~ (Prologue here)
Slaying Leonard Snart (Captain Cold)

A/N: This is almost like a reverse slay…??

Before you realised who you had pushed into a corner, you were shoved back so hard you stumbled. A hand suddenly reached out to tightly grip one of your wrists and pull you forward enough so you could catch yourself. “Always falling for me one way or another, aren’t you?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ok I'm not sure at all if I manage to explain what I want here but here's a prompt: Sirius and Marlene going to restaurants and Sirius always fake proposing to Marlene to get them free food (that's the prompt you reblogged I know) and he always gives her this super fluffy speech which doesn't fit them at all and which they probably laugh about afterwards but then one day/night/whatever he actually proposes with an actual not-fluffy speech and the rest is up to you ;)

Marlene and Sirius had a monthly thing they’d do, which everyone who knew about it, completely disagreed with. Once a month, they’d treat themselves to some fancy muggle restaurant that neither of them could ever afford. They’d make a big deal out of it and even Sirius, who absolutely hated dressing up, put on his best. Marlene, of course was the one who suggested that Sirius fake proposed to her so they’d get free food. So the day before they first did this, Sirius went out and bought a fake engagement ring. 

From that point on, it became a monthly thing they did because in the middle of the war, they both needed a laugh, and the free food didn’t hurt either. Usually, they’d take turns picking the restaurant or writing up the fake proposal speech that Sirius would say. The speech would be fluffy and go along the lines of “You’re my soul mate, I can’t live without you, We’re meant to be, blah, blah, fluff fluff,” and after the fact they’d both laugh about it and how ridiculous his speech was

Every so often Marlene would mentioned that if she ever got proposed to, she’d want it on some random day, not something ridiculous like her birthday, Valentines Day, or Christmas, and that if the proposal speech was ever as fluffy as the fake ones, she’d actually punch him in the face. Sirius laughed this off, but kept note of it when he planned this months dinner. 

He treated this months dinner like any other, letting her write the proposal speech and pick the restaurant like planned. It was a random day in September, Marlene not expecting anything, not even when she watched Sirius place the ring box in his pocket with a bit more care than usual.

When the got to the restaurant, per usual, they’d both order the most expensive things on the menu. However, Marlene watched Sirius fidget in his seat most of the night. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve done this at least 20 times” Marlene said rolling her eyes a little, thinking he was being ridiculous. “And besides, we haven’t gotten caught that you’ve been using some fake ass plastic ring” She laughed as she took another bite of her chicken.

Sirius just simply shrugged. “‘M not nervous” He denied, wiping his palms against his pants, having barely touched his food. Marlene rolled her eyes once more and fixed the stray hairs that framed her face. 

“Whatever Black” She hummed and shook her head. 

The two of them continued their dinner, Sirius surprised he was able to hold up a normal conversation with Marlene about whatever she was talking about without getting completely flustered. Though when they both got their dessert served, Sirius cleared his throat softly, glancing up at Marlene. She played her part well, the confused, unexacting girlfriend thinking they had just gone for a night out. Sirius winked slightly and gave her a small smirk though his nerves before getting down on one knee in front of her, taking out the ring box.

“Marlene McKinnon,” He murmured, opening the ring box up to her. Almost immediately Marlene froze when she saw that it was not the usual pathetic ring in the box, but instead it was a gorgeous ring, that Marlene just a couple months ago described as a perfect ring. 

“What the hell are you doing, Black” Marlene whispered glancing from the ring to him, “I swear to Merlin” She started but was met with Sirius, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Shut up Marlene and just listen to me.” He teased before clearing his throat again, “You’ve always said if I ever proposed for it to be on some random day when you’d least expect it. You’ve also said that if I make the speech too fluffy, you’d punch me. So i’ve taken that both into consideration.” He spoke softly and took a breath.

“We met when we were eleven and lets be honest, I thought you were bloody annoying. But you and James were friends, and James was my best friend so I didn’t have much of a choice to like you. I never expected to fall in love with you. Even when we went into 6th year and you got extremely hot. I’m not going to lie and say when I kissed you that first time I fell in love because I didn’t. I was a mess in school and even a couple months afterwards all I did was hook up with girls just because I could. But it got to the point where I was bored with them, but with you , with you I wasn’t bored. You kept me on my toes, and you brought out this side of me that I never thought I had. When you showed up at my door after a couple of weeks of sleeping together, and demanded to know what we were, I remember being completely stunned by your question. Not once was I ever asked that question because I never gave anyone the chance to ask it. When I knew someone getting attached, I’d leave, but with you, I was the one getting attached so without hesitation I asked you out. Our relationship was always unconventional because lets be honest, we fight tooth and nail, but I wouldn’t want it any other way, because we’re completely unconventional. When you came up with this idea of proposing, it crossed my mind about what it’d actually be like to propose to you and I think that was the moment that I realized that that was what I actually wanted. You’ve surprised me since the moment I met you Marlene, and yes, i’m going to be completely fluffy and say you’ve changed me as a person, and i’m forever thankful for that. But I thought I’d surprise you for once.” He spoke nervously, but kept his gaze on Marlene who for once, sat speechless, a hand over her mouth, as she listened to him. 

“So how bout it McKinnon?” He smiled slightly, “Let’s get married and surprise the world that two fuck ups that were never meant to last, lasted.” He winked. 

Marlene stayed silent for a few moments, letting everything he said sink in before nodding slightly. “Yeah, Merlin yes, i’ll marry you” She whispered shaking her head in disbelief as he grinned, slipping the ring on her finger. 

In a instant, Marlene wrapped her arms around Sirius’ neck as he stood, and pressed her lips against his. “I didn’t mind the fluff as much as I usually do” She whispered as she pulled away slightly and glanced down at the ring which fit perfectly on her finger.

“Good, because I really wasn’t looking forward to getting punched” He teased wrapping his arm around her waist. Marlene rolled her eyes slightly but glanced up at him, kissing him once more, ignoring the clapping from the other diners in the restaurant. 

Authors Note; hope you liked it, It was a bit fluffier than I thought it would be but it’s just so cute and I can totally picture it happening. Ashley Benson and Tyler Blackburn are my face claims for Marlene and Sirius always so a lot of the pictures will usually be of them. And one last thing, the way I pictured the ring is kind of like THIS

What a bitch (Luke Request)

“Please just give it a chance.” Luke begged you, “Come on babe if you hate it that much I’ll fake sick and we can leave.” He wanted you to go on a double date with Ash and his girlfriend.

Apparently, Ash and him had an idea in their heads that their girlfriends were going to be best friends. That was very unlikely.

You weren’t one to complain and do your best to keep Luke happy.. But Ashton’s girl was just not easy to get along with. Honestly, Bryanna was kind of rude.

You laughed, “You’re a terrible actor Luke don’t even try that.”

He frowned and then put on his puppy dog face “Please just do it for me.. I know you’re going to say yes because your the best girlfriend a guy could ask for.” He smiled cheekily.

“Ughhhhhh fine,” you groaned, “only because I like you.”

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “you love me”

Luke moved to sit next to you in the back seat of Ashton’s car as you guys sat parked outside Bryanna’s apartment.

“She’ll be down soon, I promise” Ash apologized for her lateness. You had already been there fifteen minutes.

“Its all good dude” Luke told him, “theres no rush”

You looked out the window in attempts to hide your eye roll. What the hell? The guys literally rush you on a regular basis including today.

Bryanna finally came down and hopped in the front seat of the car leaning in to passionately kiss Ashton for an unnecessary amount of time.

You and Luke looked at each other with the same disgusted facial expression, trying to hold back laughter.

Ashton finally pulled away from her to speak, “You remember Y/N, Luke’s girlfriend, right baby?” He asked her.

She turned back and looked you over from head to toe, “uhhh maybe, we might have met before?” She said in her high pitched voice.

This girl can’t be serious you thought, you’ve literally met her at least five or six times. Luke looked at you, probably hoping you wouldn’t snap, because he knew that kind of shit annoyed you.

You put on a fake smile, raising your eyebrows slightly, “we’ve definitely met before.” You nodded your head.

“O.M.G” she spelt out, “I’m sooo sorry, Ash just knows so many people its hard to remember everyone.” She flipped her hair turning back around to talk to Ash.

You weren’t letting her get off that easy, “It’s totally okay,” you told her, “I’m only dating his best friend.”

You were already over being around this girl and could not understand how oblivious the guys were to how awful she could be. She seriously needed an attitude adjustment.

Luke looked at you with pleading eyes. You bit your bottom lip for a second then forced a smile. He slid towards you into the middle seat and entwined your fingers.

He leaned fowards between Ashton and Byranna looking back and forth between the two of them. “Sooo you excited for the comedy show, Bry?” he asked excitedly.

“I guess,” she answered, “I just hope the guy doesn’t suck.”

It was your idea to go to a comedy show. It was the perfect setting for a double date you didn’t want to be on. You could drink as much as you needed to and talk as little as possible.

On the walk into the comedy club Luke grabbed your arm, holding you back so Ashton and Bryanna could walk ahead. “Please just make an effort,” he asked “if Ash likes her so much, its got to be for a reason.”

You laughed, “You mean aside from the fact that she came from the same mold as Barbie?”

Luke laughed, “Come on babe, hes not that shallow, you know that.”

“I know, he’s just blinded by looooove” you said sarcastically.

He laughed again, putting his arm around you and begining to walk. “Seriously though,” he insisted, “be nice.. I can’t even count the amount of times you rolled your eyes on the car ride over here.”

“Okay, okay .. you can’t count I get it” you giggled and leaned up to give him a quick kiss.

Once you got inside you found the booth where Ash and Bryanna were seated and joined them. The night ended up not being completely horrible. Probably because there was minimal conversation.

You, Ashton, and Luke were all clearly having a great time. You all laughed hysterically at most of the comdeian’s jokes and the guys were trying to crack some of their own. Bryanna, however, sat on her phone most of the time texting and scrolling through instagram and twitter. It was pretty rude, but whatever at least you didn’t have to talk to her.

At the intermission of the show Bryanna stood up from the table, “I’m gonna pee” she told Ash obnoxiously.

Luke patted your lower back lightly. He clearly still wanted you to ‘make an effort’.

“Wait, me too!” you told her.

You walked together to the bathroom line in silence. You finally made the effort to talk to her when you both stood washing your hands.

“So, I think they want us to be friends.” you told her.

She looked up making eye contact with you in the mirror, she was unimpressed, “No offence, but I don’t really need any more friends.” she told you.

You were shocked, what a bitch. You didn’t really know what to say after that so you just responded with a simple “uhmmmmmm okay”.

You were suprised when she continued talking to you. “So how serious are you and Luke?”

Why the fuck did she care? you thought. “Like ten months serious,” you said confused, “Why?”

She walked over and grabbed a paper towel flipping her hair in the process. “Oh I don’t know, I just didn’t realize he was in a relationship.. he doesn’t really act like it.”

Was this girl fucking serious, she doesn’t talk to you all night and now she wants to make comments about your relationship? No Fucking Way.

You were pissed and confused, “Uhhhh what are you talking about?” you asked carefully, trying not to show your anger.

“Honestly, I’ve been trying to hook him up with my friend Jill. They really hit it off in Amsterdam.. I really thought it was going to be a thing.. you know they text a lot.” she raised an eyebrow smirking at you.

You were speechless. Your mouth dropped open about the same time you felt your chest tighten.

“Ya, I know,” Bryanna continued, “Its so weird they have like a connection or something but like, here you are.. his girlfriend he failed to mention to her … pretty shady if you ask me.”

What the fuck was this girl talking about? Luke would never do that to you. Right?

You just shook your head, “That is pretty weird.” you told her trying not to show all the emotions rushing through you. “We should get back.”

When you returned to the table you could hardly look at Luke. You just really did not want to be there anymore. You didn’t know what to do you didn’t want to leave, because that would be like letting Bryanna win and you couldn’t give her that satisfaction.

The lights dimmed again and the comedian returned to the stage. He didn’t seem as funny anymore. Luke could tell something was up and moved closer to you, slipping his arm around your waist. You noticed Bryanna watching from across the table.

You didn’t want him touching you, you hated the conflicted way that you felt, but acting like everything was okay was not going to help the situation.

You scooted over, pushing Lukes arm off of you. “Sorry, its hot.” you lied.

“What’s wrong?” Luke whispered into your ear, “Your being weird.”

You spoke before thinking, “I want to go home, like home home.. but thats really far so I’m stuck here.”

Luke’s face fell, “What are you talking about?” he whispered back to you.

You looked at Bryanna and Ashton who were now both enjoying the show, holding eachother and smiling. You shook your head, “Just forget it.”

Luke exhaled deeply. “I’m not letting this go.” he said now seeming a bit agitated.

You shook your head, “Don’t worry, me either.”

When you got back to the boys house you didn’t know where to go. There was no way to avoid Luke. He followed you up to his room and you took a seat on his bed.

“Talk” he said sterenly, “we were having a great night, What the fuck happened?”

“I do not like her at all.” you shook your head.

“Okay well you don’t have to be a bitch to her, or me.” he obviously regretted saying it as soon as the word left his mouth.

“I’m a bitch? okay good to know what you think Luke… You know I did this for you tonight, I tried my best to be nice to her and make friends with her for you, because I care about you, I wanted to make you happy.” you said with an attitude.. not sounding very convincing.

“Okay then what the fuck happened, what the fuck is your problem?” he asked continuing to raise his voice.

You stared at him, trying to compose yourself. You opened your mouth to speak but stopped, needing to find the right words. “Who is Jill?” you asked hesitantly.

He looked shocked. He shook his head, “Jill? Bryanna’s friend?”

“She told me about her”

“What do you mean she told you about her?” Luke looked genuinly confused, “We hung out with that girl for like two days.. she came with Bryanna when she visited us on tour.. What does she have to do with this?”

Did Brynna lie to you about this girl? Was she just trying to start a fight between you and Luke? What kind of person does that?

“Do you text her?” you asked half heartedly.

“I mean she asked me for my number so I gave it to her.. It would have been awkward to say no.. but you can read the conversations if you really want.. she texts me first every time.. stupid shit like good luck at our show.. just being nice…I don’t get what she has to do with this still?”

You exhaled deeply, “I trust you Luke.. I was being stupid.. Bryanna really just gets under my skin for some reason.. She told me in the bathroom tonight that you text Jill all the time.. and that she was shocked you have a girlfriend because you don’t act like it.”

Luke clenched his jaw, “Fuck that girl” You assumed he meant Bryanna. He turned storming out of the room. Oh Shit.

“Luke! Babe, wait where are you going?!” You called running after him.

He headed straight downstairs to the living room where Ashton and Bryanna were cuddled up on one of the couches. He stopped in front of them and you finally caught up to him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he asked in an almost scary tone.

Ashton and Bryanna both sat up now. “Yo man slow down, what the hell is wrong?”

Luke ignored Ashton looking directly at Bryanna, “You are fucked up you know that, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Ashton was getting mad now too, he stood up and got in Luke’s face, “Don’t fucking talk to her like that!” he spat..

You stood there helplessly as they cursed at eachother. This was the last thing you expected to happen. They were really in eachothers faces screaming now, you were scared one of them was going throw a punch.

“STOP” you yelled, grabbing Lukes hand pulling him back towards you. “Stop fighting, please.” You begged Luke, “This isn’t Ashton’s fault.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Ashton asked confused. Bryanna said nothing sitting on the couch with a smug look on her face.

Luke looked at Bryanna now more calmly, “Why the hell would you tell my girlfriend, who you were made very aware of, that I have been talking to one of your friends and that I don’t act like I’m in a relationship?!”

Ashton looked between the two of them, “Thats fucked up Bry would never do that.” he defended.

“It is fucked up,” Luke agreed, “Thats why I want to know what the fuck her problem is”

Ashton looked at Bryanna, “You would never do that would you baby?” she said nothing and looked at the floor. Her plan was blowing up in her face.

Ashton looked at you next, you felt sad for him because it seemed like he was coming to a realization about the person he was with. You nodded your head letting him know it was true.

Ashton stood there speechless. You grabbed Luke’s arm, “We should go back upstairs.”

Luke agreed, looking at Ash sadly now too. “Sorry man” he shrugged and followed after you.

“That was unnecessary,” you said to Luke as you got back into his room. “I feel bad for Ash” you continued, “He really likes her, god knows why”

Luke shook his head, “He doesn’t need someone like that in his life, it sucks but he hopefully sees what she is really like now.” He moved towards you, “I’m lucky to have you,” he said softly pushing your hair away from your eyes.

You smiled sweetly wrapping your arms around his neck, “I’m lucky to have you”

Hii.. okay so this is my first request and  I tried to follow what the anon wrote as best as possible so I hope you like it … it kind of just turned into what it is… Please let me know what you think!!! also put any requests in my ask box please!!!! I haven’t had time to think up a story line for my next series yet so maybe someone could inspire me =] anyway thank for reading as always!!!

Check out my other stuff: 

What are we doing? (Luke)

Don’t You Go (Mikey) 

Not All the Same (Calum)

Been a While… (Your Fav)  

10 Reasons You Should Never Own Stocks Again

I’m really bullish on stocks and the economy but I don’t think most  should waste their money investing in stocks. You might as well flush it down the toilet. Or throw a big party. We already went over that. And please don’t buy a home. Just relax a little bit if you have some extra money.

I’ve been writing about stocks for almost ten years now. The first time I ever got paid for writing anything was a check for $200 I got from thestreet.com when I wrote in late 2001 about stocks that were trading for less than the cash they had in the bank. I never cashed the check.

10 Reasons Not to Buy Stocks

1. You’re not that good at it. Its really hard to buy stocks. Its not just picking stocks and watching it go up 10,000%. Its buying them and watching them go down 80% before they end up going 20% from your original price. Its waiting. Psychology is at least 80% of the game. I don’t need to go over the statistics. Most people sell at the bottom and buy at the high.

The average return of the market over the past 70 years: 10.7%. The average return of the individual investor? 1.9%. And that’s probably generous.

(9 out of 10 people think they are an above the median driver. 9 0ut of 10 people think they are an above the median investor. Both are impossible)

2. Your competition wants to slit your throat in a dark alley. You know how Batman’s dad got killed? He’s walking in the street with his beautiful bejeweled wife and his innocent little son, Bruce.

Then this guy comes up to them and says, “give me your wallet and your jewels”. So Dr. Wayne (somehow he made billions being a doctor but thats another story) hands over his wallet and his wife’s jewels. Bruce, the son, is scared to death. Then you know what happens?

The thief shoots the father and mother in the head and runs away. He ALREADY had the money and he still shot them in the head and killed them when they had nothing left.  Little Bruce watches and screams while blood streams out of his both his parents. Hopefully they died instantly.

I happen to know who that thief is. Warren Buffett. And you are Bruce Wayne’s dad.

Warren Buffett, Stevie Cohen, all the great investors go outside every day and they want to take your wallet, steal your diamonds, maybe slash your face for fun, and then after they’ve gotten everything they can get from you, they are going to shoot you in the head in front of your child and run off into the dark of the night.

Good luck fighting that kind of competition.

3. Competition, part II. A broker once told me this about Stevie Cohen. (see also, “How Stevie Cohen Changed My Life”) I don’t know if its true. I don’t care. Its just gossip.

Maybe it was even a joke but he was a broker and he told me this. I’m not making any accusation. But the story was this. Cohen would find out where the CFO of a public company was going on vacation. Then he’d send a guy over there. Suddenly on the beach, the two would just happen to be getting their tans right next to each other, share a few margaritas, the information starts flowing.

I’m not saying inside information. Its all just conversation. And it might not be Stevie Cohen. Its any of these guys. Every day there’s one dollar up for sale. Who is going to win that one dollar. You? Or the guy who sends his private detective to lie down on the beach next to the CFO of the Next Big Thing.

4. Competition, part III. I know another guy. He has code that scours the FDA databases looking for any microscopic changes in any documents.

You know what happens when some of those documents change just a little? A press release comes out a week later. A stock gets halted. It opens up or down 50%. Who is going to win the dollar? You, or the guy who wrote 100,000 lines of code scouring the FDA databases.

5. It’s mostly a scam.

I’ve seen the worst, many times over.

I would never ever trust any number that comes out on a 10Q, no matter how GAAP compliant it is according to government standards. Enron was GAAP compliant. Until they were bankrupt and everyone either went to jail or mysteriously died. If you were fully loaded in their stocks you might die also. From pills or a noose or from mistreatment in a mental health clinic. Because its not fun what happens to the shareholders.

6. True wealth in the stock market comes if you can hold forever and not diversify.

Warren Buffett says, “Wide diversification is used only by investors who don’t know what they are doing.”

I’ll give you an example: imagine having 100% of your portfolio in one stock, never ever diversifying for 20 or 30 years, and watching it sometimes go down over 50%, maybe even in a day. Guess who makes mistakes like that. Bill Gates (MSFT stock) and Warren Buffett (BRK-A stock) [See, 8 Unusual Things I’ve Learned About Warren Buffett].

So the guys who make real stock market wealth never diversify and never sell. You know how many guys get rich like that? Less than 100. Then there’s the other 100 million people who own stocks.

7.The best investors in the world make on average between 10 and 15%. We already know because of the above that you are probably not going to be among the best. So, if you pick some stocks and passively hold them maybe you’ll earn half that: 7%. Are you happy with that? Then fine. But given the volatility in the market I don’t think thats a good enough return for most people. Look,some people are good. And some people should invest. But most shouldn’t.

8. The other people who make money only hold for 1/trillionth of a second.

Some trading firms set up their operations right next to the buildings with the computers that process all the trades on the exchanges.

They then pay for high speed cables to go right into these exchanges so their trades get their before yours. These guys make a lot of money in the markets by getting in the middle of every bid-ask faster than anyone else can.

Its a race to the bottom but billions are made. So we see now the way to huge wealth is to either trade in millionths of a second or to hold huge blocks of your net worth in one stock for years. This is not a good strategy for 99.9% of people.

9, Well, what about daytrading? A lot of people claim to do that successfully. They are lying.

Please see my article “8 Reasons Not to Daytrade”. I got a lot of criticism after that. People wanted to show me their tax returns to show me how good they daytraded. Get lost, punks. Some people make millions playing the violin also.

Doesn’t mean the other six billion people on the planet should perform in Carnegie Hall. In any case, we’re talking about investing in stocks. Not scalping like a little kid with eight terminals in front of him. And guess what, even the best daytraders in the world with twenty year track records go broke sometimes.

10. Stocks are really boring. Other than Apple, which is a fun stock.  I own a stock right now that cures irritable bowel syndrome, for instance. You know how many hours I had to research all the drugs for irritable bowel syndrome? And then talk for many more hours with the CEOs of every irritable bowel syndrome company? And then try to figure out how big the market is? Not an easy task.

Would you admit in a poll that you have irritable bowel syndrome? And some of the cures for IBS sound worse than the disease. And then how do you value one of these companies?

Oh my god. Its so boring. And so now I own this irritable bowel syndrome stock that I think will do well. But when? Maybe it goes down for five years before it goes up 1000%. Who knows? Maybe someone has a bad day at the FDA (maybe an undiagnosed IBS “incident”) and a drug that everyone thought was a no-brainer gets rejected. Who knows? Who really knows? No matter how much information you have about a stock we’re all going to be dead in 100 years anyway. But hopefully a few less people will be dead from irritable bowel syndrome. (Btw, aren’t you happy that I didn’t include an image about IBS here?)

So wait, not so fast. You said you were “incredibly bullish on stocks”. And you even write about stocks sometimes. So what are you talking about? Is it all a big scam?

Yeah, it is. But 200mm ipads are going to sell in the next couple of years. So I happen to like Apple. (see also, “Apple will be the first trillion dollar company“)

I don’t believe in stocks. I believe in innovation.

We are seeing innovation in energy, tech, biotech, 3D Printing, Sensors, the internet of things, robotics, synthetic biology, and so on.

Here’s my strategy: I like to follow hedge funds that hire PhD research scientists who know everything about these areas. I like to see what they do. Whenever they make some noise.

So I like stocks in general. But I don’t think people should buy stocks or play with index funds (then you are just subject to the random volatility of the market).

Not everything has to make perfect sense. Make your own decisions. Financial media pretends to hold your hand but thats a big scam also. I’ve worked for many financial media firms. They all love four or five stocks: Apple, Amazon, Twitter, Tesla, etc.

But there are 8000 public companies. Not just five. Look at all the data, then make your own decisions.

The best way to take advantage of a booming stock market is to invest in your own ideas.  If you have an extra $50,000 don’t put it into stocks. Put it into yourself. You’ll make 10,000% on that instead of 5% per year.

But if you are a bit older and don’t feel like starting a company, it’s ok to find the right hedge fund managers and follow the stocks in their public filings whenever they take a big position. This isn’t an easy strategy. If you’d like to hear more about it, I’m happy to write about it.

I’m sitting in a cafe right outside the Wall Street Journal as I write this. I think lots of stocks are going to go up in the next few years. I think a lot of people are going to be happy if they wait out this economy.

There’s a guy who works here who doesn’t seem to like me because he’s sweeping all around me.  I think they want to close up and I’m clearly in his way right now. He wants to go home early, maybe, and kiss his wife and kids. Hopefully his wife is in a good mood. Maybe they’ll fool around a little tonight. He’s had a hard day here today. I hope to god five years from now he’s happier than he is now.

(Click here for full image)

The author also wrote about who makes money on Wall Street. Read more from the author… James Altucher, an entrepreneur, investor  and best-selling author of “Choose Yourself” and “Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth”. He openly discusses the financial and emotional impact of  making (and  losing) money in his personal blog at JamesAltucher.com.

save me.

Words; 2,220

Pairing; yoongi x reader

Warnings; angst, fluffy and really cheesy at the end

Request; “Do you think you could write an imagine with yoongi thats like hella angsty with the line “You think you’re the only one suffering?” But like it gets fluffly bc yoongs is a cinnamon roll” –cute little anon

A/N; i was actually really excited to write this once i got the request, so thank you to the anon who sent it in! (even though this was actually really tough for me to write not gonna lie) i also decided to mix this in with their song “save me” because i felt like it fit the plot, i hope that’s okay! but either way, i hope you enjoy! my ask is open so please feel free to leave requests or comments as you’d like! thank you ♡

Originally posted by mean-suga

2:57AM, your clock read. Your eyes seemed drawn to reading it over and over until the time changed and the minutes passed once more. You still couldn’t believe your best friend was Min Yoongi, Suga, of one of the most popular boy groups in the music industry BTS. He can write his own lyrics, produce his own songs, he raps like a god. Every time you caught a glimpse of him on stage or working in his studio, just wow, you just knew he was amazing.

And that was something you understood came with consequences. Sometimes he’d coup himself up in his studio, and not come out for almost a week. Or he’d get held back at dance practices and meetings for over 24 hours. That happened almost all of the time, and you had gotten used to it. Or so you thought you did.

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