i want to say i love you

So um,,,

This one actually goes for @nellos12

I just wanted to draw something nice for u, so,,,



I almost had a heart attack when I seen that notification, I’m greatful though.

You simply don’t need to thank. seriously

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

U are too nice, and I just don’t regret to following you

I’ve been thinking lately about my childhood and how my SM developed.. it’s strange because my twin sister doesn’t really remember a time when she actually talked to other people, but I do.

I remember my first days of school, I was actually excited (nervous too, I’ve always been a very nervous person lol) but yeah, I was all up for making friends and I tried at first, but was always rejected.. because I wanted to hang out with the boys, and that seemed to be frowned upon by adults (my parents, mostly) and even the boys I tried talking to were like “eww! a girl!! noo go away” and just yeah I just remember from a very early age being told that girls should hang out with girls and boys with boys.

I don’t know if that attitude is just a cultural issue around here or maybe it had to do with the school’s environment (a catholic school, I realize now a lot of the things they did just seem wrong now in many ways, and that also gave me a lot of other issues, I don’t want to have anything to do with that school anymore and I’ve distanced myself from religion now– but I’m rambling, that’s another story)

So I eventually gave up and started trying to talk to girls but I just never felt like I really belonged, and I had this feeling that they didn’t either, I always felt different, I had no interests in common with them and we just didn’t connect.

I’ve always been a very anxious and sensitive person. As a child I just cried a lot for many different reasons, so as time went by and I kept being rejected again and again it started to get to me, the alternative of hanging out with girls didn’t interest me as much and even if I tried I didn’t feel accepted either, I started to wonder if I was doing or saying something wrong to people and that was why I was always rejected but I couldn’t find out what it was so I started to keep to myself more and more. I felt really sad and frustrated a lot of the time and the whole situation started ruining my self esteem. Kids around me noticed how I barely talked to anyone and I started to be known as “the girl who doesn’t talk”.

It just made me feel worse, and I started to feel trapped in a vicious cycle, I wanted to talk to people, but when I did I was rejected, so I didn’t talk, but then I was seen as a weird kid, bullying started happening, and I just kept feeling worse and talking less and less until going completely mute. And I mean completely, All form of communication soon became impossible for me (example. teachers would ask me something and most times I wouldn’t even shake my head to respond) because I had the feeling inside me that I was going to be punished or mocked for doing the wrong thing, or saying things the wrong way so I somehow came to the conclusion that it was better to just not talk at all.

Somewhere around when I started elementary school I met my first and best friend, I don’t remember how we met but friendship just spontaneously happened and since then we hung out all the time. She was the first, and to this day still the only person I could freely talk to outside of my direct family.

In the recent 2 years or so, my friend has told me she(he? we haven’t talked about their pronouns) would love to transition and look and be like a man, and that it’s something she’s also felt since childhood. Learning that now, I think it’s no wonder we got along so well from the beginning :’D

I’ve started talking to some guys too, and I think I have 1 or 2 of them I can consider friends, but I don’t see them very often and when I do I still don’t feel as “free” to talk as I do with my best friend. I’m starting to feel a bit more comfortable with myself but I still don’t know how to get to that comfortable state in a friendship when I can talk freely and it still makes me feel very lonely, it’s still really hard to make friends. ( this is totally not a post trying to get to know another trans people to befriend. ok maybe it is. I would love to make more friends even if its just on tumblr, it’s actually so much easier for me to start talking via text )

So yeah this whole thing makes me realize my selective mutism is probably very closely related to my trans-ness. I didn’t notice the signs before or tried to ignore them, or felt them as if there was something wrong with me, that I was just weird for liking the things I did and wanting to do “boy” things, but as I’ve recently been learning about this topic and looking at the happenings and feelings in my life I’m coming to terms that 99.99999% sure.. I am a trans guy.

❞ HI PETALS !! I HIT 6K YESTERDAY and I cannot THANK YOU guys enough… You have no idea how much it means to me that y’all follow me and stick with me. You are all the real mvps and I love you to the moon and back !! I will be working on a follow forever and the little song edit tutorial on Saturday, because tomorrow I’ll be visiting London for the day !! Just a little heads up, because I won’t be able to answer any asks tomorrow !! Xoxo

kesha literally got put through some terrible fucking abuse and violence, a lengthy public trial, rehab, and slew of people constantly tearing her career down for being a “slut” or a member of the lgbt+ community and she returned from hiatus and put out rainbow which is inspiring and raw and incredibly uplifting and talks about strength through self-acceptance of the good and bad inside of her. 

taylor swift tried to manipulate and lie to destroy not one, not two, but THREE (3) people’s careers, got caught in a lie and publicly dragged, and she returned from hiatus and put out an overproduced song with trash lyrics talking about how she can’t let go of the smallest slight against her… 

if that doesn’t tell you who’s really a good person at heart, i don’t know what does. 

That V Route video got me so shook I woke up at 2am just to sketch this hhhhhhh – i wanted like an ‘aesthetic look’ but it just ended up looking like he’s refusing some toppings on his pizza

it must be because im hungry and i dont wanna order food at 3am //wheezes
anYWAY goodnight LOL

  • Cheryl: Every girl wants a prince who treats her like a princess
  • Betty: Why would I want to be a princess when I have I king who treats me like the queen I am?
  • Bughead: *high fives*
  • Archie: Why can't we be like that?
  • Veronica: Because you're a peasant
The hardest thing is when you don’t want to, but you have to. It’s like you have to break your own heart. Like you have to take away your own happiness. It’s doing the worst thing that could ever happen to yourself, because you have to. So believe me when I say, I never wanted to leave you.
—  P.G.G ; jxd

Mekke øl + mutually failing at talking to their crush because they’re nervous

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am complete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really fucking want you. And this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot.
I was thinking of Blue Paladin Keith
  • Keith: Okay girl so let's just try to get along and-
  • Blue: You hurt my boy and I'll destroy you
  • Keith:
  • Keith:
  • Keith:
  • Keith: ...What?
  • Blue: It wouldn't even be that hard, you are like a baby

(Technically it’s the 15th since it’s 1:38am)

So there’s one bit near the end of the Genocide Run that hit me pretty hard, personally. And as with most things that hit me very hard emotionally, it was a random almost throwaway line that wasn’t written to be focused on that much. But whether it intentionally held the meaning I took from it or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I DID take meaning from it.

When Flowey is monologuing near the very very end of the game and explaining what he went through, he talks about how he lacks the ability to feel anything for the people around him, and how desperately, frantically, he wishes he did. He talks about how, at first, he tried to help people. He talks about how at first it seemed to help, but every time it was time to let go, to move on, he got scared and couldn’t do it. He’d panic and reset instead. And how then he’d be right back where he started. And he would try helping everyone again.

But it became hollow. Everyone always said the exact same things, and did the exact same things. And nothing changed. And nothing new ever happened.

And eventually, just out of sheer desperation for SOMETHING new, he decided to kill everyone. And how that was at first a relief, but even that grew stale and empty as he did it over and over again. Until he was left with nothing, and there was nothing to care about, either for better or worse, but he couldn’t let go either. So he was trapped in this world where nothing ever changed, and he couldn’t make himself leave.

It’s a sad story, but it’s also a bit of a gut punch because of its implications.

Maybe in time, the person playing the game, the actual human being behind the keyboard, not the pixel character they control, would find themselves in the exact same situation. Eventually, things in a game stop changing. Characters always say the same things, do the same things. And maybe in time, as boredom takes over, the player would also try a genocide game just for SOMETHING new. But eventually even that will become empty and lead to nowhere after you do it enough.

I can’t really say if that’s true or not. I can’t say it’s false either.

But It’s 2 years now. And a lot of us are still here. And more importantly a lot of us still care. Quite deeply in fact.

And maybe we won’t care forever, maybe the same thing will happen, or more likely, we’d be the ones able to let go and move on to other things and let go. Maybe there’s no escaping that.

But it’s been 2 years, and at least for now, we’re still here.

There is also the possibility I’ve considered, that since the insane success of the game was never expected or anticipated at all, that the level of love it caused in gamers was a complete and utter surprise, maybe their ability to never fall into that cycle of apathy and just how long they can keep going, caring as hard as ever, will also be a complete surprise that was never foreseen.

Or even more simply, maybe Flowey just needed to be shown, as with so many things, he was wrong about that too.

Who knows. Honestly I can’t say how things will look in time. It could either way.

But at least by year 2 we were still here.

Draco before the First Task
  • Lucius: That Potter boy won't last five minutes against a dragon
  • Draco: What are you saying Father? He's amazing. He'll definitely make it to ten. And then it'll be over only because he'll end it spectacularly with some daring stunt <3<3<3
  • Lucius: Oh Draco, you're so young and stupid and W R O N G
  • Draco: *glares*
  • Draco: *muttering* My Potter will hear about this