34: “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
Send me a number and I’ll write a drabble! (Say which post though, I have two number posts!)
Moral of this short: Never do anything you don’t want too guys, even if it cracks your best friend up and gets you a lot of money.
I knew I said I wouldn’t laugh at him, but oh wow did I underestimate my willpower.
Natsu stood in front of me now, his arms crossed over each other and face twisted in the most uncomfortable way I’ve ever seen him before. I was really holding back now. He had glitter covering his skin and oil rubbed all over him, highlighting his muscles and body tone.
I felt the beat of the music through the walls, it was going crazy outside and I don’t think Natsu was ready to take all of this in just yet. Hah. Oh well.
“Alrighty, take it off.” I sighed, planting my hands on my hips.
He looked up to me then, growing even more embarrassed, “What?”
I nodded down to his robe, smirking, “You heard me. Take it off.”
He swallowed thickly, his eyes widening as a loud voice boomed through the speakers.
“Now introducing, Natsu Dragneels very own, Dragon Dance!”
He whipped back to me gaping, “Lucy I don’t know about this!”
I rolled my eyes, “Oh suck it up Natsu. What? You don’t like playing the honeypot in these kinds of missions?”
He looked to me desperately then, now remembering all the times he made me dress up and do stuff I didn’t like.
I clapped my hands, grinning, “Let’s go! Showtime!”
A backstage worker came up then and fixed his appearance up, dragging a hand through his hair and tugging off his robe. I slapped a hand to my mouth then, holding back the biggest laugh I’ve ever felt come up.
He was in shiny boyshorts with a freaking handprint right on his ass. Oh what a glorious day this was.
He held his hands over his crotch, standing right in front of the curtains that led to the stage. He breathed in and out, cracking his neck.
The crowd went wild for a second and the lady pushed him out, the high pitched screams wailing in the distance. I rushed outside back towards the crowd, gaping at him on the stage.
And before you ask anymore questions, yes, this is for a mission. We got a call from this guy offering over 100,00 jewels just to see if his wife was willing to cheat on him. It was ridiculous, but holy shit is that a lot of money for a task like this. He was always suspicious of her, but tonight he wanted to know for sure, and we were gonna make that happen.
The guy set the entire thing up, having Natsu in a strip club and try to seduce his wife. It was utterly amazing, and I couldn’t be happier. That jerk never realized how annoying it was to always be picked out to try and ‘seduce’ people with every mission we had. Now he had a taste of his own medicine, and I don’t think he’s tasted anything more bitter.
I pushed my way through the crowd, coming up against the stage, staring up to this dork trying to dance around. He looked awkward in the face, but the ladies here only seemed to be staring at his abs. I cheered along with them, catching his glare and clapped loudly. He really did look kind of hot, actually.
I stepped up next to the wife, grinning to her. “He’s sexy right?”
She glanced over to me, smiling, “Oh yeah, definitely!”
We both watched as Natsu did some push-ups on the stage with one hand, giving a grin to the ladies cheering in front of him. He stood up then, his eyes bugging out as all these girls dipped their hands in his tight little shorts, dollar bills poking out of the top. He gaped to me then, looking absolutely shocked and turned around quickly. I held back another laugh.
I turned back to the wife…Sarah I think her name was, and pointed up to Natsu again, “You know, I think after the show he’s free to ‘go backstage with’, ya know?”
Sarah looked to me, her eyes seductive, “Really now?”
I nodded eagerly, “Oh yeah, I heard he was…great too.”
I bit down on my lip hard, trying so hard not to burst out laughing right now. Dear god, did I really just say that?? Natsu was good in bed?? He’s never even kissed a girl, oh shit!
Sarah elbowed me then, “Sounds like a plan then, thanks!”
I looked to her, giving a big fake smile, “No problem!”
Yikes, was she really gonna pull through with this? Poor guy, maybe she’ll skimp out at the last moment.
Natsu came back around, making it clear to check Sarah out and finally finished up his little performance, the crowd going wild. I nudged Sarah again, nodding up to him flexing.
“You know I can introduce you, me and him are pretty close,” I told her.
She gave me a devious look, turning towards me with a bite of her lip, “Pretty close huh? So you know first hand how he is behind those curtains?”
I puffed out my cheeks, smiling, “Ah, of course! And let me tell you, you will not be disappointed!” I laughed.
“Great!” Sarah clapped.
The crowd slowly disbanded around the stage, spreading out around the club and I let Sarah follow me back towards where Natsu jumped off the stage. He looked like he got a breath of relief, which I hope he did because wow, was he not going to like this.
“Natsu!” I called.
He looked over to me then, sighing out, “Oh hey-”
“Hey, have you met Sarah?” I cut him off, my voice going shrill.
Sarah peeked her head from behind me, approaching him with a flirtatious smile, “Hi. You were great up there.”
“Thanks,” he drifted off, sliding his eyes to me slowly, and full of panic.
I stepped up next to Sarah, lacing my arm with hers, “I think Sarah here actually really like your performance, so I was thinking maybe you could show her around? You know, to the back?”
I glanced to the curtain across the room that said 'PRIVATE’ above it, looking back to him expectantly. He followed my gaze, his lips parting and saw Sarah smiling cheekily.
“Oh…” He drifted off, looking back to the wife, “Right.”
She stepped forward, her eyes lidded with lust and tapped a nail on his chest, “I’ve heard that you have some nice moves up your sleeve, I was just curious to see what those might be? You know, up close?”
He stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh.”
I stepped behind Sarah, widening my eyes at him, “I’m sure he would love to show you those moves. They don’t call him the dragon for nothing.”
He gaped at me as Sarah took his hand, giggling, “Well I’d like to experience that first hand…”
I watched, sympathetically as she led him back towards the private section. He stared at me, desperately, and I just shook my head.
'It’s okay!’ I mouthed, waving him off.
He didn’t seem any less scared though. It would be okay, I mean, I wasn’t a monster, I wouldn’t let him do it like this if it honestly freaked him out that much. I just needed to find the husband and catch her before they got too far, no big deal.
I rushed outside then, realizing I only had so much time and got him out of his car, telling him his plan worked. I led him back inside and through the curtain, stopping on my feet. Oh shit.
There were dozens of rooms, little rooms. All covered by some measly curtain.
Oh god, and others were doing it behind them all?? Not good, not good at all.
“Which one is it?” He asked me.
“Uh,” I breathed, stalking down the hallway, “I’m…not sure.”
“What?” He whispered at me, angrily.
I shrugged at him, giving him a scared look and whipped down the hallway again. Okay okay, no need to freak out Lucy, you can find him easily, just relax and try to ignore all the really loud sex noises surrounding you.
I peeked in and out of curtains near the end, holding my breath at each one and shrieking at all of them. This was hell, it really was. And Natsu was gonna kill me.
I took in a breath, peeking in another curtain and felt my eyes bulge. The husband next to me did the same, whipping open the curtain.
“Sarah!” He shouted.
I stared at them, completely frozen. She was kissing him, to put modestly, with her tongue practically shoved down his throat. She whipped apart from him then, leaving him looking very alarmed, and actually looked like a child with her hand caught down the cookie jar.
Except…that cookie jar was more like Natsu’s shorts.
He pulled away from her then, seeing the husband grab her hand away from him and take her out of the bed, back out to the lounge. I honestly still couldn’t move though, because wow, I don’t think I can ever unsee that.
“Gee, thanks for coming in time!” He yelled at me, hopping the bed.
“I am so sorry,” I blurted, “I didn’t know which one you were in.”
I walked next to him down the hallway, and he seemed a little more than annoyed. “It was never supposed to go that far.”
He shivered next to me, crossing his arms, “I feel violated.”
I frowned at him, holding his arm, “Aw I’m sorry.”
He sighed out as we exited the hallway, seeing Sarah and her husband fighting in the middle of the lounge. “Well, mission accomplished at least.”
We saw them head out now, Sarah following her husbands trail with a blurt of apologizes. We slowly followed in her footsteps, and I saw Natsu lick his lips, cringing a bit.
“That was my first kiss.” He stated, not looking too happy about it.
I looked to him then, realizing that myself and actually felt a pang of sympathy. And also a little humor.
“How was it?” I shrugged.
He stared at me bluntly, huffing. “Not all that great. I don’t think I like it.”
“Oh come on,” I said, turning around to face him, “It was just a bad first experience, they’re not all like that.”
He didn’t look convinced, “Don’t think I’m willing to try anymore anyways.”
Okay, I couldn’t help but frown. He looked like a kicked puppy right now, and it made my heart sink in my chest. A shiver ran through me as a thought popped up in my head. Oh, what the hell.
I stared at his drooped head, holding in a breath and leaned forward. I dipped my head under and pressed my lips to his, hearing him inhale sharply.
He raised his head up, not exactly kissing me back, but kind of just staying in place. I let go, finding him staring at me already with the most shocked expression I’ve seen him ever have.
I swallowed, my stomach churning, “Not so terrible right?”
He didn’t say anything for a while and I started to worry that maybe that didn’t help at all. Possibly even worse? Maybe.
He shook his head then, it was small, I almost didn’t catch it, but he finally smiled at me.
“Good.” I smiled back, holding onto his hand. “Now let’s get you into some real clothing Casanova.”
He perked up at that, as if realizing he was still wearing those little shorts and walked away quickly, “Holy shit these things are tight~”
I watched him hurry away, still spewing complaints and laughed. I didn’t mean to look, but wow I can’t help it now. They did look really tight. And that handprint was still on his ass.
I bit my lip as another thought popped up in my head. Oh that would be hilarious.
I rushed over by my bag and grabbed a camera, hurrying up backstage to the fitting room. I peeked my head in, catching Natsu looking for his clothes still and raised the lens to my eye.
I gaped as he whipped around, his jaw dropping as well.
I burst out laughing as he tripped over a coat rack trying to catch me and darted back outside, checking out the picture. I nearly burst out laughing again just looking at it.
Oh yeah, this’ll be one for the books.