i want to rock with you all night

I realize it’s not yet 4pm but this is shaping up to be the single best birthday I have ever had, thanks in no small part to all of you. I don’t make a ~thing~ out of birthdays, even and I guess especially milestones, because being the center of attention (except bizarrely in very indirect, circuitous ways) makes me want to shrivel inward like a dying star, but I woke up smiling this morning, and that’s a pretty… alien feeling lately.

  • It’s a beautiful 63º day, and I took today and tomorrow off so big s/o to a 2-day work week
  • I left my window cracked last night and slept like a rock without waking up to a throbbing lumbar knot, and thanks to klonopin I wasn’t jarred awake with fight-or-flight heart palpitations by a single yelly dudebro or a slamming car door once
  • My body butter turned out so perfect, so exactly what I wanted that I could cry (pix forthcoming because you know I’m insufferable) and I will never plunk down cash on another store-bought winter body cream ever again
  • Four packages serendipitously arrived all at once today (one including a konjac sponge as recommended by @lookwhatkatdraggedin that I’m RUL excited to try)
  • On the way to my folks’ this morning, I stopped into the old bead store I frequented when I was making jewelry back what feels like an entire lifetime ago and picked up a new clasp and charm for the bracelet I wear, and everyone remembered me and were very kind and it was lovely
  • I was reminded yet again that community and physical proximity are not mutually exclusive and that I am cared for beyond what I allow myself to recognize, and that the friendships I’ve made on this blue joke are so important and so nourishing to me and all of you will own very large chunks of my soul forever

Anyway it’s almost Iced Coffee O’Clock, I am Supremely Moisturized, and I’m going to spend the rest of the day relaxing, eating trash, working in my craft room as my back allows, making a new sugar scrub, and doing something creative that has nothing to do with my day job.



Ready for a journey to the 80s? Good! Let’s go… 

MAGIC DANCE (which basically is New York based Jon Siejka) come up with a very distinct and quite authentic 80s sound.

No, he didn’t jumped the already way too long retrowave hype-train but comes up with a brilliant mix of melodic rock, light AOR with influences of poppy synth sounds (think Ultarvox).

Apart from a few exceptions (e.g. “I need a name”) the majority of the tracks all have some kind of melancholy and a feeling of longig, yearning, desire. All of his music could directly be put into classic 80s movies.

So - if you’re not afraid of quite soft music and want to travel back in time: Listen! Highly recommended! @electricblueals-dustygarage @use0fweapons @driveradio @night-avenger @neondreams83 @mastersofthe80s

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
You claim to love her, inside and out, but the only time you call her beautiful is when it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve already turned you down.
—  girls tell each other everything, c.j.n.
We throw around the word never likes its nothing but a small rose petal. The word never is a doubled edged sword. On one side it says ‘I will never leave you’ and on the other it says ‘I will never love you.’
—  The Word Never