i want to punch you both in the face

The Nosebreaker club

Context: We were doing a segment of a spinoff of Mines of Phandelver. We were fighting a vampire, who had just charmed our ranger. Our half orc barbarian was grappling the vampire so we could deal with our friend.
Me OOC: I want to get (ranger) out of this. I roll to punch Magnus (the ranger) in the nose.
Magnus OOC: watch him crit this.
Me. *shows Magnus the nat 20*
DM: Magnus, you take 4 points of damage. Your nose is now broken.
*a few rounds later*
Ethan (our dragon born sorcerer): That’s it. I grab Magnus and slam her against the wall.
Me: I run behind Magnus and elbow her in the back of the head when Ethan lets go.
*both roll nat 20*
DM (to Magnus): You feel someone grab the back of your head and slam your face against the wall. Your broken nose is in critical condition. You then feel something slam into the back of your neck, making you pass out from the head trauma.
Me OOC: Well, she isn’t charmed anymore.
And that was the day the nosebreaker club was formed.

Quick headcannons of you protecting Newty Noot at Hogwarts

I have deemed myself an Aggressive Hufflepuff. Its when you are salty and kinda violent but you are fiercely loyal. Example-someone had the nerve to insult my friend and i almost punched them. Because No one screws with my frands. so uh yeah On to headcannons

•Meeting Newt First year in the Hufflepuff common room when you both skipped Potions. Him because he’d rather be with his animals and you because you didnt like the way some people treated you.
•Sticking together and both of you being quiet shy but at meals you two would be locked in conversation
•The first time someone tried to Bully Newt You punched them square in the face and sent them to the infirmary.
-Newt being shocked and you thinking that he wont want to be your friend anymore but him being happy someone cared about him that much
•People still bullied him but you always came to his rescue. Which included Hexes, Physical fighting, Salty comments, and standing protectively in front of Newt.
•Getting Detention a lot for fighting and being sent to the headmasters office so much that you were on a first name basis. And many students being surprised when you casually call the Headmaster by a silly nickname you created.
•Newt Joining you in Detention and your teachers being okay with it because they know how close you too are.
•When he got expelled you tried to get expelled too. Which Newt scolded you for. And after he left no one dared talk bad about him because they knew they had to go through you
•Protecting Him continued after Hogwarts. Once you found him after you graduated, you first yelled at him for getting in such dangerous situations after Hogwarts then insisting you come with him on his journeys
-“Oh no Scamander, you are not getting rid of me that easily”
•When MACUSA labeled Newt as a villain you got in a verbal fight with Madame Picquery and actually fought with Graves. That ended horribly and you got multiple scoldings.
•Newt knowing that he always has a friend who will fight for him and being incredibly grateful
•You have a lot of scars from over the years but so does Newt so you two are comfortable around each other when your scars are showing
•Being best friends for life and HaViNg ThE bEsT rElAtiOnshIp EvEr

  • Tuffnut (to the dragon hunters): I took out Hiccup Haddock! The small Viking with the tussled brown hair!
  • All: *gasp*
  • Tuffnut: I punched him in the face! And then admired his tussled brown hair.
  • All: *gasps start to dwindle*
  • Tuffnut: I grabbed him by his gorgeous tussled brown hair and-
  • Hunter: Dude, do you want to destroy Hiccup Haddock or marry him?
  • Tuffnut: ... little bit of both?

HOW YOU MET (and got together)…modern day…

((Anon asked for “How you meet” but I ended up included how you got together as well without thinking so…I hope you don’t mind, Anon, that I changed your request just a little!))

Sandor – You met Sandor when your father hired him to act as your bodyguard. At first, the two of you didn’t get along and Sandor deeply regretted taking the job, but over time – and after punching a guy in the face for trying to grope you – it was obvious Sandor was jealous of other guys being around you and you didn’t want to be with anyone else.

Ramsay – You met Ramsay at a BDSM store where the both of you were taking a look at the newest merchandise. He smirked and you blushed slightly, new to the whole thing, and that was that. Ramsay followed you to the parking lot and “asked” you out. Right then and there.

Tyrion – You met Tyrion at the wine store where you were trying to find a bottle of red wine for a lunch date with a group of “girl” friends from high school. He came in, all sarcastic and witty, making jokes with his friend – Bronn – about fucking and getting drunk, and something about him just made you laugh…and that started a life time of laughs between the two of you.

Robb –You met Robb at the university both of you attended. The two of you were taking a class on World Mythology and Robb wasn’t very “quick” at it, so you agreed to tutor him and one night over pizza, cheap beers, and notes the two of you fell in love.

Theon – You met Theon at the yacht club both of your family’s were a part of. The two of you had known each other when you were younger, Theon was arrogant and always smirking…it annoyed you so you did your best to stay away from him. And then you came home for the summer, and met back up with him for the first time on your father’s yacht. The rest is history.

Jon – You met Jon at the local coffee house during a poetry reading. He was sitting in the corner by himself, shyly looking around, and you had caught him staring at you several times. Finding it adorable and sweet, you bought him a hot chocolate and sat with him the rest of the night. Then you asked him out, surprising him with your boldness, to a movie and he said yes.

So uh… I may have restarted my Moon Team. Restarting games is a bad habit of mine (I can’t tell you how many times I restarted Alpha Sapphire). But I wanted to restart because I got this cool little trainer/starter character team up in my head.

But yeah so here’s my new team and trainer so far! Instead of it just being like me in the game, I wanted to make it like a separate character, and thus we have Hat! She’s grumpy, angry, and will punch team Skull Right in the face. She tries to be intimidating but no one will take her seriously.

And then we have PrettyBoy! (and he does have stars on both ends of his name). He’s smol, very squish and is such a good boy!!! While Hat tries to be tough, PrettyBoy is being the cutiest cutie you can imagine!

Anyway, that’s all I got for these guys right now, but I hope to do more fan art with them! I’m also planning on getting an Alolan Meowth for the team soon, so I may have more stuff in a bit!

im not kidding i will sue dctv or whatever if we don’t get laurel x iris like god imagine the possibilities; 

  • hey birdy
  • THE iris west, oh god i’ve heard so much about you”
  • hellooo miss journalist! don’t judge its cute bye
  • -LAUREL LANCE aka BLACK CANARY OMFG BARRY [hits barry multiple times]
  • -did you really take down that douche? “yep with both my fighting and lawyer skills” [winks]
  • girls night out + linda PARK
  • #WESTLANCE and if we are lucky #parkcanarywest too
  • “hey do you want to team up and take this bastard down ?”
  • “do you want me to kick that jerks ass and then send his ass to jail?”
  • -gosh you’re even more wow wow just wow irl
  • -can you punch me in the face laurel? “iris i can’t destroy that beautiful face of yours”
  • hugs hugs lots of hugs 
  • also like iris calling laurel instead of barry
  • laurel and iris talking about oliver and barry being pains sometimeS

anonymous asked:

i have a really good friend and we both absolutely love kurt and nirvana. like, we're 100% obsessed with him, he's our life, and i love talking about kurt with her, but sometimes i want to punch her in the face since we get into huge arguments about whether courtney killed kurt (i think he killed himself, she thinks courtney killed him) and it's so irritating because no matter what i do she believes that and it's so stupid but u feel like i need to defend courtney all the time.

you aren’t going to change her mind.   some people just believe that.

that it’s somehow better that “someone” killed kurt, than him killing himself.

even though, even KRIST believes kurt was a suicide.

honeyy-tongue  asked:

i heard that PBG and space hamster defended pewdiepie and like i'm so conflicted. like when all the jontron shit happened i was like "omg people need to unsubscribe from him and those defending should be too blah blah blah" but now that it's PBG and space hamster i really don't want to bc they are one of the first people i really watched on youtube and i love them, but that's kinda hypocritical of me, no?? idk what to do, i DONT support what pewdiepie said in any way, but i still love them both

I’m just as surprised as you are, but if that’s how they’re gonna be then it might be time to move on before they talk about the sanctity of punching Richard Spencer in the face. Look at the apprenticepost linked on my blog for alternatives!

  • Person: how are you?
  • What I'm thinking: I'm literally feeling every emotion at once, I am both overwhelmed & empty/numb at the same time, I want to punch someone in the face but I also want cuddles, I need constant reassurance but I want to be fiercely independent, I want to hurt and punish myself so bad but I'm trying to somehow learn to love myself even tho it's going totally against how I feel most of the time. How about you?
  • What I say: fine thanks :) hbu
Reaction: Abandoned Dog


Originally posted by vinegarboy

“Did you really? i..” * can’t believe it*

*sees the dog* *gets super excited*

“aww of course we can!”

Hanbin loves animals and seeing you finding a little abandoned dog you want to keep would just make him love you more. He knows that you both might not have that much time, however seeing the look on the dogs face would just make him give in immediately and he would be so excited to keep the doggy.


“Why keep an animal when we already have one at home”

You: “Bobby i swear to–” *soft punch on the side*

“ouCh i’m just kidding Y/N, let’s keep this little guy if you really want to”

Bobby would agree as long as you really want to keep it since it’s you. Although he’d tease you a bit in the beginning and make one of his typical jokes, you’d end up keeping the dog anyway. He doesn’t really mind as long as he sees you being happy with it.


“Are you really sure we can keep him? What if he already belongs to someone? What if we don’t have enough time??”

10 minutes later 

Originally posted by lk0n

“Actually…. let’s just keep him”

In the beginning Jinhwan would be skeptical about keeping the dog since he doesn’t know anything about it and he isn’t sure if it’s such a good idea to just make a decision like that because it takes a lot it responsibility. However, after spending a little time with the dog, he would come to totally like it and want to keep it as well. But he would make sure it’s safe etc. 


“You’re kidding you did not take an abandoned dog home did you?”

After seeing the dog

“Wait you were… serious??”

A few seconds minutes later

“Ahhhh, he is so cute!! Let’s keep him” *squeals*

Junhoe doesn’t believe you at first because the scenario just sounds so weird to him, however when he realizes you’re serious, he would be perplexed and doesn’t know how to react at first. As soon as he catches sight of the dog and gets closer to him, he can’t hold himself together and would instantly agree to the idea.

- Moyo

anonymous asked:

Important question: do I use the URL astroloboy for a personal blog or the URL astroloboyS for a mlm blog?? I'm super indecisive and don't have enough followers to have them vote on this

WELL SHIT OKAY sdjzfkhdgsflxg both are so good honestly because astroloboys would be a really good mlm blog url but astroloboy is super cute

okay if you decide that you do want to make an mlm blog then use astroloboys!!! and if not you can use astroloboy for your main but if youre gonna make an mlm blog anyway you might as well use that url cuz its good

or tbh you could just punch tumblr in the face and do both

Republicans want to kill you

The picture above is a real-life post that was made by a real-life person: Dan Adamini, a Michigan-area Republican party secretary who is also a christian musician.  In that post, Dan is bluntly and openly calling for the state murder of those with whom he disagrees.

There’s been lots of talk lately about the morality and tactical efficacy of punching nazis or bullying guys in MAGA hats.  Good points are raised by both sides, and while I’ll freely admit to taking animal pleasure in watching Richard Spencer get hit in the face, I can’t claim to know enough to say whether or not left-wing violence is a tactical good.

One thing that must be included in this conversation, however, (and that is typically not admitted to) is the ugly violence of mainstream American conservatism. Dan Adamini’s views are not out of the Republican mainstream. There are tens of millions of other shitty pigs just like him. They oink about the need for civility whenever they find themselves out of power, but they have zero reservations toward literally murdering everyone who is not them.

Their belief system is founded entirely in spite and violence. They like it when the undeserving die. They would not think twice about killing you.  You.  Literally you, the person reading this: Mainstream Republicans want to kill you.  They’ll do it through cops. They’ll do it through gleefully denying you healthcare. They’ll do it by ushering in climate-based disruptions of society. And they’ll cheer for it, cry out in joy when it happens, because their shitty god told them that they are the good ones and that everyone else deserves an eternity of torment.

Keep that in mind. 

So to complain about the same person I was complaining about yesterday . . .

I set up a meeting with her at the end of the day. I changed my schedule to make it work so that she wouldn’t have to change her. I told her up front that I was changing my schedule to accommodate her. 

She said she would come to me.

Five minutes after our agreed upon time, my assistant said, “She’s late.” I pointed at my face and told her “this is my surprised face.”

Ten minutes after our agreed upon time, I get annoyed and go to get her …

But she’s got someone else with her and they’re not having a meeting per-say. It actually looks like they’re just shooting the breeze. But I decide to just stand there and wave for attention. It’s not received and so I decide to wait five more minutes.

Five minutes later, I go back and go and physically take things from her room that I need for what I have going on because now shit is going down and she probably literally can’t help. 

I do everything myself.

Pros? I finished it like 50 times faster than I would’ve if she were there. In fact, I’m not sure we would’ve finished it if she WAS there AND on time.

After things calm down (and I’ve done all the work), I hand her the fruits of my labor. She says I TOTALLY could’ve interrupted her and she COMPLETELY forgot about our meeting (despite the fact that I watched her put a freaking post it note in her itinerary and mark down the meeting and that she is SUPER anal about things like this).

Signs Together on Halloween 🎃🎃
  • Aries: Let's go to a haunted house! All we're doing is walking around anyway
  • Taurus: *Carrying 3 pillowcases* No! I need to get another pillowcase full of candy!
  • Gemini: *Both twins are at the back and trying to scare everyone*
  • Cancer: I'm with Taurus! I want some more candy!
  • Leo: No we need to go to a haunted house. This is starting to get boring.
  • Virgo: *Gets scared by Capricorn* YOU FREAKING FUCK NUGGET
  • Sagittarius: *Trying to hold Aquarius's hand* We should go to the cemetery.
  • Capricorn: *Scares Libra and Virgo*
  • Aquarius: How about no Sag! The cemetery is scary at night!
  • Pisces: *Stealing candy bags*
Heal Check Fail

We were in a difficult encounter where both our healers were knocked unconscious during the fight and the only one that had any skills in healing was our barbarian.

Barbarian: I want to perform a heal check on our healers

DM: You can roll that untrained

Barbarian: *rolls and critically fails*

DM: You wonder why your friends are asleep and punch them in the face to try and wake them up.

Genealogy of the Holy War remake! Now with self-inserts, waifus, jiggle physics, battle bikinis and you (that’s right, YOU!) get to shield Sigurd from any and all dangers in the world, and political conflicts get solved by your mere presence, as those filthy nobles realize all they ever wanted was to be as cool as yoU!

Only 80$ for both paths! (100$ if you want the TRUE path in which you can marry all the hot anime studs in the game. All. Of. Them.)


Thane, from Serenes Forest


I know it’s a joke, but if it ever happens… I want someone to punch me hard in the face to make sure it’s not a nightmare.

Mercy // Dallas Winston

Listen to Mercy by Hurts while reading this, Requested by anon 

Everyone has their definition of tragically beautiful, yours was Dallas Winston. Fights were constantly occurring between the two of you. ‘Dallas, please come home’ ‘Dallas, please tell me you aren’t sleeping with that broad’ etc. You were helplessly in love with him, though, through everything you wanted to cry ‘mercy’. You couldn’t take it anymore, it was driving you insane. You dreaded this day, though you both knew it would come. That night, was the night you finally called out Mercy.

“Why are you doing this” Dallas yelled drunken, leaning his forehead on the door frame punching a hole in the wall.

“I can’t do this Dallas! I can’t live like this! We’re always fighting, I never know where you are!” Tears were streaming down your face by this point.

“I can change! Please doll! I want you- I- I need you!” He made his way towards you, aggressively wrapping his hands around your waist bringing you closely. You tried to push him off of you but he was much stronger than you.

“Dallas! Get off of me!” you tried to push his chest but you couldn’t “You’re hurting me!” You gave it your all kicking and yelling and you finally knocked him to the ground.

“baby, y/n, please, you’re all I have” The look in his eyes made your heart melt. As much as you wanted to jump in his arms and tell him everything was going to be alright. You couldn’t. “I can’t go through all this on my own!” he cried out.

You looked down, trying to block the look of sorrow in your eyes. You couldn’t help feel bad. You were all he had, but you couldn’t keep living for him. You had to live for yourself from now on.  “I’m sorry Dallas.” you looked to the old ceiling which sheltered countless times. 

“Please Doll! I can’t live without you! What am I going to do!?” Dallas got up, looking down on you, staring into your soul, tears now streaming down both of your faces.

You started to walk away, but you were stopped by a gentle grasp on your hand. “But- I- I love you” he spoke out, that was the first time he had ever said that to anyone.

“Mercy.” You tugged your hand away putting your hands up. As you left that house, you left Dallas. A heart-broken, saddened, Dallas Winston