i want to make something of myself

anonymous asked:

I have really bad anger issues and I really hate that because I don't like hurting people just because I can't control my feelings. I know you're still get mad sometimes but you've been much better than before, so I was wondering if you maybe have some suggestions that could help that aren't "exercise more" or "go see a professional" or "just calm down"

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‘Rose,’ Fern sighed, ‘the truth is… it’s Storm who is too good for me.’

‘The most stupid thing I’ve ever-’

'No, listen to me, Rose. I’m not-’ she paused and then whispered, ‘There’s something wrong with me. I can’t imagine myself with a man, even with the man as perfect as Storm. I can’t even make myself touch him, and when he touches me, it doesn’t feel right. I don’t like it. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s not right, but I- I can’t forget about Jayce, Rose, I can’t stop comparing every man I meet to him. Rose, I can’t move on, and the worst part is, I don’t want to move on, I just want Jayce back.’

'Should I remind you the way he left you, the way he treated you, all those-’

'Please, Rose, don’t start. I’ve been listening to this for ten years. I knew Jayce, Rose. Something happened that night. He wasn’t himself, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop wanting him to return and to tell me the truth. Not even Storm has the power to change that I’m afraid.’

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anonymous asked:

I was wondering what you do when (or if) you ever feel down about your talents or art?

I feel this way a lot. All the time. Every day.

Something I always have to work on is not getting discouraged when I see art that is really, really good. (I don’t always get down on myself when I see lovely art, but it does happen!) It’s hard not to compare your work with someone else’s. But that’s not what art is meant to do. It’s meant to be enjoyed and create inspiration– not to make you feel down about what you can create yourself. Seeing good art makes me want to make good art.

I have to remind myself to be inspired– not to give up. And that’s easier said than done, but I really enjoy drawing and I want to get better at it.

Doodling something I really like– like drawing a character and getting so into it that I forget about all of those negative feelings– is a good way to get me through an art slump. And focusing on trying out a new technique as I draw. Like I’ve been experimenting with pose and line-art lately, a little bit at a time. It’s good practice!

anonymous asked:

If u sniff Casey's socks I'll get u any pizza u want as much as you want!

Dude I have a Donnie. He gets me all the pizza I want. Still dunno how he does it but he does. And I can make pizza myself too! Any flavor at all! So why would I sniff Casey’s gross sock for something I already got?

lately it’s been hard to concentrate on writing, so i started doing this thing where i only hold myself to writing 200 words an hour

it’s like the opposite of a word sprint, where instead of binge-writing in a short amount of time, i forgive myself for all my social media distractions as long as i hit that minimum. i can do more if i want, just no less than 200, to make sure i at least sort of stay on-task. it’s only imperative that i write 1000 or 1200 words a day, so i’m done with it by mid-afternoon and have the rest of the day to myself.

it’s great when i wake up energized and hit my word quota by noon, but i find it’s not something i can rely upon to happen every day. internet happens, plus it was chaos while my mother was in the hospital, and it can be tough to focus when i’m excited about several different projects at once. in general, whenever i’ve had a writing deficit, i’ve found it’s better to find a workaround than force it and burn out.

At this time last year I had no idea how to make a proper gif or even how to edit something…. and now I can do both.. and idk I’m kind of proud of myself? Like I’m not amazing at either, but I’ve definitely improved and will probably get to the mastery I want to be at one day.

But while I’m here blabbering, I just wanna take a second to thank everyone who’s following me. I never would have gotten to this point without you. Thank you 💖

I hold myself to a pretty firm set of ethics and morals

And as someone who is 23 and still on a website filled with a lot of teenagers and younger people in general, I find it really socially, morally, and ethically irresponsible to make jokes and memes about suicide and depression.

Because I remember how I was as a teenager, forced into a deep, deep depression that saw me attempt (obviously and thankfully unsuccessfully) suicide on several occasions and those “lmao I want to die” memes were how I coped back then.

Depression is something that I still deal with, albeit better managed, to this very day and I cannot even begin to stress how much it absolutely breaks my heart to see 15/16 year olds on here fall into those same toxic coping mechanisms that absolutely ruined my own teenage years and instead of facing my problems head on and tried to better myself I succumbed, like so many others on social media, to hiding behind the mask of “lmao im heckin sad”

I know this is going to sound ridiculous because this is a ridiculous website but if you’re in your 20s like me, and suffer from depression or other mental illnesses please think about what you post on here. I want to uplift the really young people on here out of that void that is depression before it consumes them like it consumed me, not to be the ones that give them the fuel to sink deeper and deeper

I am so so soooo so tired of people who are supposed to be my friends saying “oh my ocd is coming out!” Or “sorry I’m being so ocd” when they’re cleaning up something messy.

My room is a wreck. My car is a wreck. My obsessive compulsive disorder messes with my executive function. I cannot make myself do simple tasks to tidy up. My brain is constantly under attack by intrusive thoughts that make me scared of myself. I’ve washed my hands until they’ve bled because someone said the word “mrsa” around me. There was a time before I started taking meds that I couldn’t walk through a doorway without a mental breakdown.

Nothing about this is quirky. I’m miserable most days and if you want OCD so bad you can have mine because I don’t want it.

anonymous asked:

I’m absolutely in love with this guy. And he loves me too. It seems perfect. Until I recently found out his mom’s been pushing him to break up with me and date a white girl. He comes from a pretty wealthy and traditional family, and they (except his siblings) hate me because of my skin color. I don’t want to end things with him because I genuinely see myself spending the rest of our lives together, but I can’t stand his family always making me feel like shit and him being too scared to defend me

First of all, I’m really sorry that you have to go through this. It’s not something thats easy to deal with & I can’t even begin to imagine how this makes you feel. 

This might not be what you want to hear but here Goes:

Your man: Talk to him. I cannot stress enough the importance of communication in this type of situation. He needs to know how you feel. & if he really loves you, he needs to start defending you. In the most respectful way possible of course. Understand that this is his family & though it might be hard for you, I’d argue that its even harder for him. You have a way out of oppression in this situation, he does not. So stand with him in this struggle. & try to love his family even though they aren’t showing you love. In the end, he will see and appreciate your efforts. I say this because its one thing to know that your family is wrong in the way they treat someone, but its entirely another thing when your SO hates your family, & displays it. 

The Family: Love them till it hurts. By “them” I am referring to his family. Show them all the reasons you’re an amazing person and that you deserve to be with their son. Even when it seems impossible to love them, remember that you’re doing this for the benefit of your future as well as theirs. Even on the days that they are nasty towards you, turn the other cheek. One day they will come around, & if not (which I believe is unlikely), at least no one can actually say anything bad about you.

Ultimately, y’all two can be the change that his family needs. The racism/discrimination can end with you if you choose to stick it out with him. But that’s entirely up to you. 

I say stay. Love. Tough it out. Better the world, unite the people. 

Thanks for trusting me with your situation! & I hope this helped. I’ll be praying for you too. Love ya!

I started crying when I was on the phone with my dad. I’m going home this weekend to visit and plan on seeing my Aunt who has cancer. She doesn’t know that I know she has cancer so I’m uncomfortable about how this is going to go. My dad told me I need to be prepared because she looks very sick and its obvious she is. It just brought me back to when my grandpa was sick and and I kept asking to come home but everyone told me he would be fine. By the time my family told me I needed to come home, my Grandpa was already unconscious because they had given him the medication to make it less painful when they took him off life support. I ended up saying how I feel I deserve to know she’s sick because God forbid something happens, I don’t want to be in the dark until the last possible second. I ended up crying in the middle of school and having to compose myself before my second class started. And surprise surprise because I can’t deal with emotions, my first reaction is “don’t eat” because I can just numb myself and be in control and not have to think about that if I’m focusing on restricting. I just hate everything right now and want to go home but I have class until 8pm. Yay. Sorry for complaining. 

anonymous asked:

Have you ever thought about using patreon?

I have been thinking about opening a patreon for two years at this point, to be honest. But to be real:

1- I’m not quite sure what I could offer. Like, what is that people want? What is something good for a patreon? I Don’t Know™. If you have suggestions of things you would like as a reward I would gladly accept them because, in case you haven’t already figured that out, I am desperately bad at promoting myself and at understanding what to do to create a possible source of income from this “artist” thing.

Originally posted by parharsh

2- my “numbes” are very small so it probably wouldn’t do much. That said I would love to grow as an artist and to try make something out of this if possible so yeah, back at point one: suggestions are welcome. Because I’m pretty much useless.

alphabet soup tag

tagged by a wonderful being @kollectionn


Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.


A : Age | 14 although i turn 15 tomorrow ! (oct 19)

B : Birthplace | somewhere in asia

C : Current time | around 6 pm

D : Drink you had last | yakult !!

E : Easiest person to talk to | smol @dropsofletters and sarah my child @booyunbaekhyun

F : Favorite song | as of now, i’m into gd’s untitled 2014! there’s just something in that song that makes me feel a lot of emotions and the flow and everything, the way he sang the lyrics beautifully and just,, art

G : Grossest memory | i’d prefer to not say

H : Hogwarts house | slytherin !!

I : In love? | hmm do i want to consider myself as in love when i see renjun

J : Jealous of people | not really

K : Killed someone | no

L : Love at first sight or do I walk again? | you should walk by a lot of times tbh

M : Middle name | savage

N : Number of siblings | im an only child

O : One wish | one wish isn’t really enough for me, because i have a lot to wish for

P : Person you called last | one of my friends

Q : Question you are always asked | i have really small writing so “can you read that?” or “dont you get headaches from reading that? it’s too small”

R : Reason to smile | there is food

S : Song you sang last | drunk / ed sheeran

T : Time you woke up | around 5 i think

U : Underwear color | is this really necessary

V : Vacation destination | japan! and probably every asian country (i live in one tho lmao)

W : Worst habit | doing things on the last minute otherwise known as, procrastinating

X : Xrays | what

Y : Your favorite food | anything edible tbh

Z : Zodiac sign | libra !!


Tagging: @dropsofletters @booyunbaekhyun @8bityeol @soowritings @lovesehunright @luke-penguin-hemmings

y’know it wasn’t until today (well the 17th) that i realized how unnecessarily angry i can be? especially when it comes to social issues. i’ve gotten to the point where stuff i share on fb has made people feel uncomfortable and i don’t ever want that. (i want awareness, not discomfort.)

so in. some effort to change that i’m gonna try to focus less on social issues and focus more on my own physical and metal health first. i want to be able to be at a stable place before i stress myself out so much over things i currently have no power to change. 

hopefully actually saying/typing this out loud/making it public will help remind me that hey, if there’s something i can’t help then i’m allowed to let it go.

knowing me, there’ll always be posts about social issues, and i’m fine with that. but that it’s made people uncomfortable is not what i want. and now i think about it, i’m sure multiple people have asked me to stop in the past, but not as bluntly as i apparently need at the moment. 

so hopefully toning it down will help. i don’t know what i could do that would help alleviate what i’ve done or what i may do, but i’ll start here. at the very least, if i realize that toning down the angry posts doesn’t help, i know that i’ll find another solution.

in general, if i’ve ever made you uncomfortable because of how excessive i can be, i apologize. for some damn reason i don’t understand when people get uncomfortable in my face to face interactions, and on the internet well that’s even harder. if i make you uncomfortable, please let me know and i’ll do what i can to change it for the future.

just be warned, i currently have a crap ton of posts in my queue right now, nearly at the 300 limit, and i don’t think i can bring myself to comb through it. but from now on, hopefully i can do better than what i have.

like i said: i wanna make people aware, not uncomfortable or exhausted or guilty. for now, i think awareness will do.

anonymous asked:

This is how my gender feels like : so I am afab, and currently looking feminine and I like looking feminine, but this have been happening a lot : when I go out and see boys I found myself wanting( sometimes I want really bad ) to look like them and it make me "sad". Oneday, I wore my brothe's clothes and hid my hair in a cap and looked like a boy but I felt like something is missing so I wore some blush and chapstick and felt better.

Hey! So, what you seem to be describing to me is more of an appearance thing, rather than a gender thing. It’s totally okay if your appearance changes from fem to masc to andro, and you can totally be cis and be that way.

Now, there is a possibility that you wish to change your appearance because of how you feel on the inside. When you wish to feel more masculine, do you still feel like a girl 100%? OR do you solely feel masculine, or like a boy?

When you wish to seem more androgynous, do you feel like you are neither boy or girl, or maybe both? or do you still feel only like a girl 100%?

You could very well be genderfluid, genderflux, or maybe non binary. :)

I’d suggest really focusing how calling yourself a girl feels on those more masculine or androgynous days, because they could be a very helpful hint!

(also: that “sad” feeling you get could very well be dysphoria!)

-jessi

got some new faces around here + also im aware there’s a bit of gear-change on my blog lately LOL. i do tend to go through stages of throwing myself into one thing then suddenly doing something else SORRY. 

but anyway, i can understand if people don’t want to hear my thoughts or what i have to say and are here for other reasons. some of you might be here for my music, others not. some of you might be here for none of my original content at all lol. 

so anyway yea. here are some tags i use for different things i make in the fandom, so you can blacklist whatever you may not want to see of my personal content:

  • dinoedits - icons/edits ect. 
  • dinoroar.vld - general vld posts by me 
  • music by iz - music tag for original vld music or parodies
  • meta town - analysis tag 
  • sunny writes - fic tag

also all ships + characters are always tagged, and i’ll keep tagging voltron spoilers for another week! 

hope you enjoy your stay here!! 8)c 

anonymous asked:

How do I stop myself getting so angry and mean when I’m jealous? If I get jealous of my fp’s other friends I’ll literally have thoughts in my head about wishing them dead and that they’re horrible and nasty ppl trying to steal my fp from me. I hate having these thoughts bc I hate being so nasty about people. I just want to be nice. Is there anything I can do?😩

That sucks, I get that too. What I do is I’ve created this inner dialogue where the annoying inner me says angry, rude things or suggests something questionable and my other inner voice tells it to calm down and shows it why doing *thing* would be Very Bad. Sometimes the good inner voice (which is basically myself) will laugh or make it a joke because I find that lifts my spirits.
This works for me because I find humour to be a good way of lifting my mood - I don’t know about you.
There are lots of techniques to help combat anger - counting to 10,20 or however long, breathing deeply or punching a soft pillow. If it’s online, put your phone down/ close the browser and just leave- that way you won’t do any damage and the anger will pass eventually