i want to live in new york with a calvin klein model

Haunting Me: Chapter 1

A/N; Eeeeek! Here it is guys, chapter 1! This story has me so pumped and i’m so happy you guys liked the intro. I hope you guys like this chappie, cuz it’s a bit of a giant relief haha. ENJOY! - Delilah ❤️

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x POC Reader

Haunting Me: Y/N is a normal young adult living in New York, but little does she know that she’s a reincarnation of the long lost Bucky Barnes’ fiance from the 1940′s. What happens when she runs into Steve in 2012? Most importantly, what happens when she runs into The Winter Soldier?

Warnings: Swearing. Slight angst. Mild violence. Hella feels. 





2012

You focused on the pencil in your hand, shading the paper as carefully as possible.

New York was beautiful in the summer time, especially once the sun hit the right spot in the sky. It wasn’t a cloudy day by any chance; in fact, there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. You sat in the metal chair, your legs crossed beneath you as you focused on the sketch in front of you. You reached for the pastry on the plate next to it and took a small bite out of it, chewing slowly.

You enjoyed your time alone, as you always did, especially when you got to sketch the totally gorgeous Calvin Klein model sitting two seats down from you.

Okay, he probably wasn’t a model, but he sure as hell looked like one.  He was built like a brick house and those eyes. Jesus –you could get lost in those ocean blue orbs of his. From what it looked like, he was drawing as well. He could draw and look super-hot while doing it? He was a rare gem. However, as you cocked your head to the side, curiously studying his features, you couldn’t help but notice how sad he looked. It made your chest ache just seeing him brood like that.

“Another brownie ma’am?” the waitress asked with a smile. And by the grace of god, the total hottie looked over at you. You blushed, looking up at the waitress with a timid smile.

“Um. No thank you.” She gave you a quick nod before walking away.

When you looked back over at the mysterious blond, you expected him to give you a small smile and continue throughout his day, but boy were you wrong. You looked back over and to your surprise, he was openly staring at you, his blue eyes widened with an odd mixture of fear and shock. He blinked rapidly, his eyes focusing on your face shamelessly.

Immediately you felt so self-conscious. Was there something on your face? Did you creep him out?  Oh god, did your eyeliner smudge. You had a habit of rubbing your face whilst drawing and you did forget you were wearing makeup sometimes.

After a few minutes of being stared down by the man, you had quite enough. You hastily packed your sketch book into your bag and placed a few dollar bills onto the table before standing. You swore you could feel the burning of eyes on your back as you stealthy maneuvered around the sea of people.

Before you could take another step, you felt a tight grip on your arm stop you.

“What are you doing?” you exclaimed, turning around with a scowl. You reached in your pocket for your pepper spray.

“I-I’m sorry!” The man sputtered, his eyes softened once he peered around at the many people watching the two of you. There was a small crowd surrounding you now and you felt so embarrassed, yet relieved. He wouldn’t dare try anything in public.  

You yanked your arm back, holding it in your wrist. “Why are you following me? Do I know you or something?” your last question caused him to frown. You could practically see the wheels turning in the man’s head as he chose his words carefully. He sighed heavily, before his eyes travelled down to the bag in your hand.  

“I uh…noticed you drawing earlier and I wanted to say how nice your shading technique was. That’s all.”

You blinked, your eyes widening. He did all that for a damn compliment? Who was this guy?

“Thank you,” you replied, which came out more as a question. Soon, the people around you began going about their day once they realized there was no harm being done to you. Leaving the two of you standing in the middle of the busy sidewalk.

“My name is Steve,” he smiled, holding out his hand for you. “Steve Rogers.” You raised your eyebrows. That was a bit of an older fashioned name, but you weren’t complaining. Your mom tried to name you Jane once before your birth.

“I’m Y/N,” you replied, gently taking his hand and shaking it.  

“Y/N Y/L/N.”


As the next couple years went by, you and Steve became two peas in a pod.  

Wherever you went, he went. At first, you found it sort of creepy that your best friend was following you around town all the time, showing up at your apartment in the middle of the night when the Stark tower got too much for him and he needed a place to sleep properly. After a while, you just assumed the man was a bit lonely, which was fine by you considering you were, too.

There were times where you two would just stay up all night watching old movies from his time. His favorite was My Darling Clementine, which you had seen so many times that you now knew the entire film’s script by memory. 

Soon, Steve began accompanying you on your trips to art galleries for school. It was a win/win for you as he always attracted so much attention being the hot shot Captain America he was, also, he eased the storm of anxiety that you struggled with your entire life. Steve was your wing man.  

But there were some times when you felt that maybe Steve wanted to be more than friends. 

You always thought of him as a brother figure, but the way he would look at you whenever he thought you weren’t noticing, it had you a bit confused. It happened when you were watching the old movies. He would look at you from out the corner of his eye, watching your reactions closely. You figured it was because he had a thing for you, which you didn’t return. 

You had a couple boyfriends here and there, but nothing special. And Steve, bless his heart, had completely unapproved of them all. 

But whenever you would sing along to your favorite song, Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland, you would see the look even more. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something about that song probably caused unpleasant memories for him. You wondered why. 

Another time you got The Look, was when you smoked. It was a habit, yeah, one that you’ve had for far too long. Every time you would be out and about with him -which was always- and you lit up a cigarette, he would immediately scold you until you put it out. You loved Stevie, but you were a big girl. You could make your own decisions. 


You were lounging on your couch, watching old reruns of Seinfeld, when a loud banging on your front door causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. You looked over at your phone. 

Five O’clock. 

Steve was currently on a mission, or so you thought. Who on earth could it be? 

You sighed, standing up from the couch and made your way towards the front door. You flung the door open, expecting to see Steve standing there with a box of pizza like always, but instead you got something way, way more complicated. 

“W-What is going on?” you asked, eyeing the two other Avengers beside your best friend. 

Steve let out a sigh, giving you a guilty smile. “These are my uh…coworkers.” 

You blinked, staring at him with wide eyes. Coworkers? Really?

“May we come inside?” Natasha asked as she clutched her shoulder tightly. Her face was twisted into a grimace as she tried to cover the obvious gunshot wound in her shoulder. Your eyes widened. 

“Of course!” you jumped, reaching forward and gently placing your hand on her back, and guiding her into your apartment. She let out a groan when you touched her shoulder. 

“I think I’m gonna need a new shoulder.” she said. 


You placed the cotton swab on Natasha’s shoulder, gently dabbing the fresh stitches you had applied. She was lucky to be alive, the bullet barely missed a major artery. A couple more centimeters and she would’ve bled out in seconds. 

“So are you guys gonna tell me what the hell happened?” you asked, turning around in your chair to face Steve, who was seated on your couch, his body bruised and battered from the obvious fight. 

Whoever they ran into managed to put up on hell of a fight. 

“His name is The Winter Soldier,” Natasha chimed from behind you. She avoided your eyes as she spoke “He’s Hydra’s top assassin. He’s killed over a dozen elected officials and other people as well. We ran into him earlier.” 

Steve continued to stare down at the floor, his face in a distant frown. 

“What does that have to do with Steve? What happened?” you asked eagerly. 

“We just found out that this so called Winter Soldier is actually Steve’s best friend, Bucky Barnes.” 

Your eyes widened. You were so confused. Steve never mentioned anyone else in his life except for his mother and father. He always told you he was on the lonely side, but…he had a best friend apparently. An old best friend from over seventy years ago. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” you chided, furrowing your brows at Steve. How could he have not told you? You and he told each other everything. 

“Bucky Barnes was considered KIA in 1942 when he fell off a locomotive during a mission to capture the evil scientist Arnim Zola.” Sam informed as he reloaded his pistol. 

“And now, he’s alive. And brainwashed, completely wiped of his memories of Steve.” Natasha finished, taking a sip of the glass of orange juice you poured her a few minutes ago. 

You felt your chest ache. 

Why couldn’t Steve feel like he could tell you about Barnes? You guys were so much closer than the average friends. 

You turned back to Steve, only to find him on the couch with his face buried in his hands. His breaths coming out in short huffs. 

You made your way over to the blond, bending down until you were eye level with him. He looked so broken, yet you had no idea what he was going through. You’ve never lost anyone before. You had no idea who this Winter Soldier was, but if it meant reconnecting two old friends, you were more than wiling to help Steve. 

You gently pulled Steve’s hands from his hair and brought them down, revealing his tear stained face. You smiled up at him, hope shining in your eyes. 

“Whoever this Bucky guy is,” you began, looking down at your entwined hands. “He must be a special kind of man for you to go these lengths. We’ll get your friend back, Steve. If it’s the last thing we do.” 

Steve felt his heart shattering even more as you spoke. Nevertheless, he offered you a false smile, hoping to distract you from the internal pain he was facing. To his relief, you bought it. 

He watched as you went back to Natasha and began placing the bandages onto her wound, your face set in a concerned frown. 

‘Oh, Y/N’ he thought to himself. 

‘If you only knew the truth.’ 


- Fin!  ❤️

Tag list of super awesome people! 

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @amrita31199 @jezzula @jenna-luke @harrisbn @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @ballerinafairyprincess @gingerbatchwife @callmeoncette @bellaballanda @sebbyismyking @abigailredgrave @chou-maitresse @twinklingstarlight @abovethesmokestacks @dracu-ma-bucky @persephone-is-here-omg @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @nenyakj @watergirl1996 @marveloussssworld @ihavetwobuckystomyname @megandrawsspace @wintersoldieressiam @fridabarnes @abovethesmokestacks @mizzzpink @diana-daydreamer @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @r3stl3ss-minds @queen–valeskaxx @winterboobaer @addictivewriter @tatortot2701 @supersoldier-buckybarnes @the-winter-avengerrrrr @the-witching-hours12-3 @netflixa @kaitskennedyy @witheringblooddemon  @lostinspace33 @nottheopera @beebossinner @ktrivia @4theluvofall @the-lazy-leprechaun @behindthesehazeleyes27 @38leticia @davinaciaire @cry-me-a-fkin-river @buckyshattergirl @raeintheusa @helloitsgrc @icedragoncred1763 @sebbeanstan @shieldagentofthemonth @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @sheriwallace123 @permanent-lines @hellstempermentalangel @answer-the-sirens @badassbaker @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @therealgoldenbookworm @buckyappreciationsociety @dream-equine @munsurieya @feelmyroarrrr @learisa @stephie-senpai @vindictivegrace @valynsia @saffreelove @say-my-name-assbut @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @alucialunn12 @bad-wolf87 @such-a-common-girl @yknott81 @frolicsomefawkes @svetlanaabril @hellahornyvirgin @mirkwood—princess @amour-quinn @tirednwired05 @obsessed-with-book-boyfriends @harleycativy @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @deathordesire

Ok so I kind of lost my tag list thingy so if I didn’t tag you on the list pls let me know or if i tagged you on the wrong fic, pls also let me know!

Tags are open for this series!

Intro

buzzfeed.com
Meet The First Transgender Cover Model For "Men’s Health Germany"
"I feel so grateful, and I hope that I can open doors for other trans guys."
By Meredith Talusan, Jared Harrell

“The first time I was in front of a camera that gave me the feeling of, this is where you belong, this is what you’re born for, and this is what you need to do.”

So when he heard that Aydian Dowling was a finalist for the Men’s Health cover contest in the United States last year, he decided to enter the same contest in Germany. He won an online audience vote to be one of the guys considered for the cover, and went on to a final casting where he got to meet 19 other guys who were up for the same gig. Eventually, he was chosen to be one of five guys to be on the cover of the magazine’s collector’s edition.

Melzer expressed a lot of satisfaction about being shown as just one among a group of guys. “That’s what I want [being trans] to be, just normal. We don’t have a choice, and it just is the way it is, and we can make the best of it,” he said.

Growing up in a family that didn’t force him to dress in a feminine way allowed Melzer to come to terms with being trans without a lot of turmoil. He was able to present himself as masculine in school, and ended up dating a woman he knew from college, after they met up five years ago, a month after his first T shot.

“But for her, I always looked and acted like a boy,” Melzer said. “It was just the body. And I was on my way to fix that.” His girlfriend, who identifies as straight and had only dated cisgender men before Melzer, told him that he didn’t have to go through the whole process and get bottom surgery, but it was Melzer’s choice to proceed. It’s an operation that the German government requires health insurance companies to cover.

Having transitioned to have a face and body that few people would be able to distinguish from cisgender men, Melzer remains open about being transgender, both in his career and with people he encounters in his day-to-day life. “There’s a trainer at the gym, a coach. We see each other when I’m at the gym, and she’s always talking to me, we’re good with each other. She’s like, ‘Hey what happened to your arm?’” Melzer has a large rectangular scar on his forearm from where skin was grafted for his surgery. “Sometimes I say ‘None of your business’ but this time I was so me, I really wanted to tell her. So I did, and her reaction was, ‘What? Really? Are you kidding me?’ And she’s so interested in it, and she’s so curious, and now she’s proud to know me.”

At the same time, Melzer is also aware that not everyone has the privilege of being able to choose when to come out to people as trans, or a body that’s celebrated in men’s magazines. “Not everybody has to look like me,” he said. “I think we all have beauty inside. That’s what counts at the end of the day.” Melzer also tries to motivate and give tips to other trans men through his social media channels.

“A lot of people say, you’re my hero, I look up to you, but at the end of the day you have to look in the mirror because the hero’s standing right in front of you,” he said.

Melzer’s goal is to be a full-time male model, and he has one specific fantasy job in mind. “My life goal would be to appear in a Calvin Klein commercial, not wearing anything but boxer shorts or briefs,” he said. Melzer got closer to that goal on his trip to New York, where he was shot by celebrity photographer Mark Saliger for an upcoming project. “He’s had almost everybody in front of his camera. I mean Charlize Theron, she’s one of the most beautiful women in the world. Brad Pitt, I love Brad Pitt. I wanna be Brad Pitt!”

“I feel so grateful,” Melzer concluded, “and I hope that I can open doors for other trans guys who would love to work in the modeling business.”

Ring Pop - Everlark Drabble

For loving-mellark I hope you don’t mind I went with 21: Best Friend’s sibling :)

Peeta

From the time I was five years old Katniss Everdeen has been my dream girl.  She had moved into our small town of Panem, North Carolina with her mother after the death of her father and sister in a tragic car accident.  She was quiet and sullen when my father, brothers and I went over to welcome them to the neighborhood.  She was the same age as my twin brothers who were in 5th grade, while I was just starting Kindergarten.  However, she begrudgingly became an honorary Mellark after becoming fast friends with Rye and Bannock, though I think being wooed with my dad’s cheese buns had something to do with it. 

The first time I saw her mysterious gray eyes light up and her scowl turned into a smile I knew I wanted to marry her. 

Keep reading

nytimes.com
Karlie Kloss and Christy Turlington: Supermodels Then and Now
The models discuss their surprising careers and a shared commitment to education and improving the lives of women.
By Philip Galanes

Karlie Kloss and Christy Turlington: Supermodels Then and Now

Table for Three

By PHILIP GALANES

SEPT. 12, 2015

Karlie Kloss, 23, left, and Christy Turlington Burns, 46, at Il Cantinori. Credit Christopher Gregory for The New York Times  

Technically, the term “supermodel” predates the 1980s, but that is when we civilians first knew who they were: Linda, Naomi and Christy. (Evangelista, Campbell and Turlington.) Famously called the “Trinity,” they were the first fashion models to challenge the celebrity of movie stars. And they were everywhere: not only modeling, but also appearing in music videos, on talk shows, and palling around together in the pages of celebrity magazines.

There have been other supermodels since, but right now, none is as compelling as Karlie Kloss. At 23, Ms. Kloss is leveraging her success as a model and large social media following (not to mention the reflected glare of her BFF-ship with Taylor Swift) into social activism for young women. Through Kode With Karlie, Ms. Kloss underwrote 21 computer coding scholarships for girls in 2015. She has collaborated with Momofuku Milk Bar on Karlie’s Kookies, a line of vegan cookies sold to benefit hungry children and other charities. And lest you think her a slacker, she began her freshman year at New York University this month.

All of this made her a perfect lunch date for Ms. Turlington Burns, 46, who scaled back her own modeling career at its height in 1994 to go back to school. She graduated from the Gallatin School of Individualized Study at N.Y.U. and continued her studies at the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health. Later, she married Ed Burns, the filmmaker and actor, with whom she has two children. In 2010, she founded Every Mother Counts, a charitable organization dedicated to maternal health, for which she was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People of 2014.

Over asparagus risotto and avocado salads at Il Cantinori, the pair discussed their surprising modeling careers, the effect on their families, and their shared commitment to education and improving the lives of women.

Philip Galanes: Christy, I love that you wrote Karlie a college recommendation.

Christy Turlington Burns: It was all about my crush on Karlie in 500 words. She is going to take this education and blow it up. She’s so eager and ready and thoughtful about her next steps.

Karlie Kloss: The whole idea of believing I could go to college, and model, comes straight from Christy. It’s a lot to take on, but she did it. But I may ask for help with homework.

PG: College is one of many similarities between you. Let’s start with the way you were both “discovered” when you were just 13.

KK: You were 13, too?

Karlie Kloss began her freshman year at New York University this month. Credit Christopher Gregory for The New York Times  

PG: Some guy takes a picture of Christy on horseback, and another takes a shot of Karlie in a charity show at a shopping mall. Presto! You’re models. Do you ever feel like you were plucked from childhood?

CB: When I started working, it was just local markets. Miami and Northern California, where we lived. I was a regular kid with a normal family life. It wasn’t until I was 15, on my way back from working in Paris, with my mom. We stopped in New York, and things really started to take off. But I had to go back to school. After that, I was back and forth a lot for work.

KK: It was pretty gradual for me, too. I was discovered at 13, but we lived in St. Louis, so I worked in Chicago. I did this Abercrombie Kids thing with Bruce Weber. But he didn’t even know I was there. The dogs were more important than me. It didn’t explode for me until I was 15 and came to New York to walk for Calvin [Klein]. Those runway shows can really catapult you. They put you in front of designers and top editors. And on the Internet.

PG: Fifteen is still very young.

CB: But the stuff I missed, I’m happy I missed it. The social part of high school, I’m not cut out for that. I had a handful of great girlfriends, but my sisters are my closest friends. Some people just know: I need to go faster through this period. And I was ready.

Christy Turlington Burns, 46, was once part of the supermodel “Trinity” but scaled back her career at its height in 1994 to go back to school. Credit Christopher Gregory for The New York Times  

PG: Had modeling been on your radar as girls?

KK: Not at all.

CB: I hadn’t even started reading Seventeen magazine yet. That’s how out of it I was. But I have an older sister, and when we were asked about having our pictures taken, she thought it was cool. So, of course, I did, too.

PG: But 13 is the height of awkwardness. Weren’t you self-conscious in front of the camera?

KK

: Being a 13-year-old girl is tough. There’s a pressure to fit in. And I was always the odd one out. This odd, tall duck. Taller than the other kids, taller than the teachers.

CB: Luckily, our industry celebrates that. Someone finally likes your big feet!

KK: But coming to New York and being appreciated for what made me different helped me learn to appreciate myself.

CB: Having confidence can help — not in your physicality, but as a person. I felt confident as a horseback rider. And I brought that with me.

KK: For me, it was ballet. You come with a focus.

PG: You’re both the second sister in families of girls.

KK: You’re in the middle, too?

CB: Nobody wants to claim the middle, but I like it.

PG: I would have killed a younger sibling who became a supermodel. Did your success screw up the family dynamic?

KK: Not really. It was a family affair. My parents and my grandmother, everyone had to start juggling to figure out who’s coming with me to New York and Milan, and who’s taking care of everyone else.

CB: My mom came with me to Paris. The people I was working with were her age. So she had a great time, and I loved having her to myself.

PG: But that’s what I mean: You two are off in Paris, and your sisters are stuck in geometry. How could they not resent you?

CB: When I started modeling, my older sister was much more interested in it than I was. But they told her right away, “You’re not tall enough.” She was sad, but she was already very popular. And I brought my sisters everywhere with me. So they got the benefit of it, too.

KK: Same here. My sisters are always with me. But they also see how hard I work: getting off a red-eye at 4 a.m. and sleeping for three hours before I go to work again. They respect that.

CB: And some people, when they get close to the attention, see, “Oh, that’s not for me.” My younger sister is shy.

PG: You started so young; you must have had a lot to learn about fashion and modeling.

KK: I had a lot of luck. I was the right girl at the right time. But I was also a sponge. I didn’t talk a lot. I just listened and kept my eyes open and tried to soak up everything I could.

CB: Fashion is all about references. All these names being thrown around. I was like: “Who’s Anna Magnani? What’s ‘La Dolce Vita’?” And I felt it was my job to learn them. It was an amazing education, and [the fashion photographer] Steven Meisel was a great teacher. We did so many movie screenings — with the hair and makeup team and Lori Goldstein, the stylist. Then we’d play: Let’s do Sophia Loren! I also had a great experience with Arthur Elgort, who was the first big photographer I worked with. “Don’t hold your hands like that,” he’d say. I learned so much from him about light and angles.

KK: Learning is what makes you better. I had the same experience with Arthur. He shot my first Teen Vogue story. And he loved that I could move. I had this ballet background. It’s probably the biggest reason I have the career I have: I know how to move.

PG: You also had to learn about money. You were earning buckets of it as kids.

CB: The money kept getting more and more. There was this thing where you signed a contract with Ford Models and tied yourself to them. And I was like: “No way! They work for me, not the other way around.” The first time I signed a contract with Calvin Klein, they advised me not to have my own lawyer. My parents didn’t know about that area. So I learned by making mistakes, and eventually I got savvier.

KK: I remember doing a shoot at Macy’s, after school. I brought my voucher and got paid $700. The only comparison I had was babysitting — at $6 an hour.

CB: Go Macy’s!

KK: Financial independence is empowering. And seeing a world that I certainly never knew existed. I don’t mean the glamorous life. Seeing other cities, hearing other languages, tasting other food. But there’s a responsibility in that, too.

PG: I’m glad you brought that up. Because 10 years into these megacareers ——

KK: Wait! Am I 10 years in?

CB: No. Maybe from being discovered.

KK: (laughing) Don’t age me, Philip!

PG: You both carved out time for education. Did people think you were crazy to walk away from the money?

CB: I had talked about it for so long, I was like the boy who cried wolf. I also wasn’t that brave. I had two pretty big contracts when I stopped. I had already stopped doing runway.

PG: Why was that?

CB: The traveling, which is so attractive early on, becomes a grind. You want to have a home life and a relationship. And I was jealous of my sisters’ experiences in school. I almost had to exhaust myself at modeling before I could say, “O.K., I’m ready for school.”

KK: For me, starting so young, I never thought this was going to be my career. But I’m long-term greedy. I want to do this job for decades, but I don’t want to burn myself out with it now. Going to school is part of that balance. There’s so much I want to learn.

PG

: My favorite trick: You’ve both taken success at a job that’s all about being scrutinized, objectified even, and turned it into a launching pad for projects that empower women.

KK: Christy paved the way.

CB: I don’t know about that. But I’ve always searched for ways to turn my losses into advocacy. When I lost my father to lung cancer, I said: “I’m not going to be photographed smoking anymore. I don’t believe in it.” That experience was huge for me.

KK: I feel a responsibility with success, too. Like: Why wasn’t it the girl next to me or my sisters? I’ve always worked with philanthropic groups. But I had my first aha moment when I was 16. I’ve always loved baking. I bring cookies to shoots. So I’m in this apartment in New York with my grandma, and I’m baking — because I can’t go out at night — and I have this idea: Let’s make a healthy version of these cookies and sell them to benefit hungry kids.

CB: They’re delicious, by the way.

KK: Ten meals for hungry kids with every tin sold.

CB: It’s very human to want to make an impact, to contribute to the world. But it’s hard to know the how and why. Like, “Will my small thing make a difference?”

PG: Was it important that your big projects — maternal health and coding for girls — be about equal rights for women?

KK: For me, it started with this realization about how much we interact with technology every single day. No matter what you do. I wanted to know more. So I took this two-week coding class at the Flatiron School. And it was mind-blowing — like: “Whoa! This is how apps work; this is how my phone works.” I thought, “I want to share this with other girls.”

PG: Because coding is such a male-dominated profession?

KK: Like 80 percent. It’s very disproportionately male. That’s why it’s even more important to get girls involved. Technology and apps are the future, and I want girls to be a part of it.

CB: We think about this all the time at Every Mother Counts. Could we come up with an app to connect mothers to each other and health providers? But it’s hard to dream when you don’t know how things work.

KK: And if you understand the basics, you can understand the possibilities. So the call to action I put out there was creating access to coding for girls. Anybody interested in a scholarship, send me a video and tell me why.

PG: I watched the video from the girl who wanted to make an app for her autistic brother, tears streaming down my face.

KK: The nonwinners will blow you away, too.

CB: It must have been so hard to narrow it down.

KK: I just want every girl and boy to know about the opportunities that exist out there.

PG: Which parallels Every Mother Counts.

CB: To me, every life has equal value. I had a scary complication during childbirth. And later, I learned that many women don’t have access to the simple care that saved my life. That was a huge realization. Every woman should be able to bring her child into the world safely. You don’t need the best obstetrician, but you do need access to information and education.

PG

: Do many women die in childbirth?

CB: The estimates now are just under 300,000 annually [worldwide], mostly girls between 15 and 19. But 98 percent of those deaths are preventable. And for every woman who dies, there are 20 to 30 others who nearly die, or suffer lifelong disability, infertility or other complications.

KK: That’s a lot of women.

CB: So many of them don’t have the economic independence to get the quality of care that they should have access to.

PG: That’s what your projects have in common: giving voices to people who don’t have them.

KK: I feel really lucky to be a 20-year-old right now with my life ahead of me. I have opportunities that didn’t exist for my mom, and certainly didn’t exist for her mom. I want us all to have them.

CB: And when you surround yourself with people who are doing incredible things, they inspire you — your friends, your peers, your family — every day. They raise the bar for everyone.

KK: Can we have lunch together every day?

PG: After you finish your homework.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

A version of this article appears in print on September 13, 2015, on page ST1 of the National edition with the headline: Supermodels Then and Now

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/13/fashion/karlie-kloss-and-christy-turlington-supermodels-then-and-now.html

Supermodel Karlie Kloss Talks Taylor Swift, Wearing Dior to Prom, and Life Off the Runway

Karlie has always been the sort of girl who thinks “family first” is a better motto than “first class.” Her ascent began at 13, when she walked in a St. Louis charity fashion show and caught the eye of a local scout, who brought her to an agency in New York. That’s when her career took off in a way that can only be described as a fashion fairy tale: In September 2007, one month after her fifteenth birthday, she appeared in her first New York show, for Calvin Klein. The following spring she walked on more than 31 runways in New York alone. Then came big breaks in campaigns for Christian Dior and Marc Jacobs, and a stint as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Today she has a much-coveted gig as a face of L’Or??al Paris—and a spot on Forbes’ Highest-Paid Models list.

And that’s just her day job. In 2012 Karlie founded a line of vegan, gluten-free baked goods that raises money for the Feed charity. This past summer, after taking a coding course (that’s right—during the summer!), she established the Kode With Karlie scholarship, which aims to get young women involved in the world of technology. Later this year she’s launching her own YouTube channel—and this month she’s heading back to school as a college freshman at New York University.

DEREK BLASBERG: My little sister is all grown-up and going off to college. Why now?

KARLIE KLOSS: I didn’t want to wait until I’m 30 to continue learning and challenging myself in new ways. I am 23 and at a very busy point in my career, but I hope it’s just the beginning. I want to do it all.

DB: What will you study at NYU?

KK: Like most kids starting college, my major is still “undecided.”Next year will be a big balancing act—but how exciting! I haven’t written a paper in years, so I may be calling you for homework help.

DB: Did you ever take that BuzzFeed quiz I emailed you: “Are You More Cara Delevingne or Karlie Kloss?”

KK: Yep. And you’ll be relieved to know that I got Karlie Kloss.

DB: Phew! I got Cara Delevingne.

KK: I am very confused how you got Cara. Should I be offended?

DB: According to BuzzFeed, “[Karlie Kloss] is as sweet as apple pie.” They say you’re “an amazing friend and always put others before yourself.” Have you ever wanted to shake off that image of being fashion’s sweetest supermodel?

KK: There are worse things than being called sweet. And I think the way that both you and I were raised was to be grateful to people. I’m a nice girl, and I’ve embraced it.

DB: You do have a lot of friends. FYI: This is when I ask you about Taylor Swift.

KK: And here we go! Taylor and I met at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show two years ago. [Model] Lily Aldridge introduced us. She was like, “OK, you two are kindred spirits. How have my two nice American friends never met?” And that was it.

DB: Immediate BFFs?

KK: Our friendship is the same as yours and mine. Many of my closest friends are traveling all the time, so it takes constant effort—texting, Facetiming—on all ends to maintain close relationships.

DB: Let’s talk about that “Bad Blood” video. Selena Gomez, Hailee Steinfeld, Cara, Lena Dunham, and you: It was four minutes of major celebrity cameos. That couldn’t have been easy.

KK: But how often do you get to work with all your best friends on such a fun project? I think Taylor is the only person who could’ve pulled something like that off.

DB: Like Taylor, you’re becoming a role model for young girls. How does that feel?

KK: I’m still wrapping my head around it; I do feel a responsibility to be an example for young women in general. That’s what Kode With Karlie is about: supporting girls to try coding even if they’re not interested in being a programmer. If I can inspire one girl to try it, I’ll be happy.

[ … ]

DB: I remember you doing schoolwork backstage at shows. I thought it was wonderful how you managed to exist in both the fashion world and the real world.

KK: It was a bizarre double life…but at school no one really cared. It’s not like anyone in my high school was reading Vogue Italia.

DB: What did you wear to prom?

KK: I knew you were going to ask me that! Yes, I wore Dior couture to my prom. I probably peaked at my prom, and it’s all downhill from there. [Laughs.] I should say, though, that I wouldn’t have considered myself a high-fashion high-schooler. I lived in a ballet bun and comfy clothes. I still opt for comfort, even today.

DB: How has the business of fashion changed since you started?

KK: Social media. The fashion industry has had to become less elitist and more accessible. When I started, only a few hundred people could see a fashion show live. Now anyone with a computer and Internet access can. It’s put a bigger spotlight on what we do.

DB: Which, I think, has been good for fashion and good for models.

KK: It’s been a great thing for my career, but also as an individual, because I get to show my personality.

DB: Do you ever read the comments? Do you get those nasty trolls?

KK: I read some of them, sure. The vast majority of comments are positive. But there are bullies out there. I’ve learned to ignore them. Because in my life, that’s just noise.

Karlie Kloss and Christy Turlington: Supermodels Then and Now

Technically, the term “supermodel” predates the 1980s, but that is when we civilians first knew who they were: Linda, Naomi and Christy. (Evangelista, Campbell and Turlington.) Famously called the “Trinity,” they were the first fashion models to challenge the celebrity of movie stars. And they were everywhere: not only modeling, but also appearing in music videos, on talk shows, and palling around together in the pages of celebrity magazines.

There have been other supermodels since, but right now, none is as compelling as Karlie Kloss. At 23, Ms. Kloss is leveraging her success as a model and large social media following (not to mention the reflected glare of her BFF-ship with Taylor Swift) into social activism for young women. Through Kode With Karlie, Ms. Kloss underwrote 21 computer coding scholarships for girls in 2015. She has collaborated with Momofuku Milk Bar on Karlie’s Kookies, a line of vegan cookies sold to benefit hungry children and other charities. And lest you think her a slacker, she began her freshman year at New York University this month.

All of this made her a perfect lunch date for Ms. Turlington Burns, 46, who scaled back her own modeling career at its height in 1994 to go back to school. She graduated from the Gallatin School of Individualized Study at N.Y.U. and continued her studies at the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health. Later, she married Ed Burns, the filmmaker and actor, with whom she has two children. In 2010, she founded Every Mother Counts, a charitable organization dedicated to maternal health, for which she was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People of 2014.

Over asparagus risotto and avocado salads at Il Cantinori, the pair discussed their surprising modeling careers, the effect on their families, and their shared commitment to education and improving the lives of women.

Philip Galanes: Christy, I love that you wrote Karlie a college recommendation.

Christy Turlington Burns: It was all about my crush on Karlie in 500 words. She is going to take this education and blow it up. She’s so eager and ready and thoughtful about her next steps.

Karlie Kloss: The whole idea of believing I could go to college, and model, comes straight from Christy. It’s a lot to take on, but she did it. But I may ask for help with homework.

PG: College is one of many similarities between you. Let’s start with the way you were both “discovered” when you were just 13.

KK: You were 13, too?

PG: Some guy takes a picture of Christy on horseback, and another takes a shot of Karlie in a charity show at a shopping mall. Presto! You’re models. Do you ever feel like you were plucked from childhood?

CB: When I started working, it was just local markets. Miami and Northern California, where we lived. I was a regular kid with a normal family life. It wasn’t until I was 15, on my way back from working in Paris, with my mom. We stopped in New York, and things really started to take off. But I had to go back to school. After that, I was back and forth a lot for work.

KK: It was pretty gradual for me, too. I was discovered at 13, but we lived in St. Louis, so I worked in Chicago. I did this Abercrombie Kids thing with Bruce Weber. But he didn’t even know I was there. The dogs were more important than me. It didn’t explode for me until I was 15 and came to New York to walk for Calvin [Klein]. Those runway shows can really catapult you. They put you in front of designers and top editors. And on the Internet.

PG: Fifteen is still very young.

CB: But the stuff I missed, I’m happy I missed it. The social part of high school, I’m not cut out for that. I had a handful of great girlfriends, but my sisters are my closest friends. Some people just know: I need to go faster through this period. And I was ready.

PG: Had modeling been on your radar as girls?

KK: Not at all.

CB: I hadn’t even started reading Seventeen magazine yet. That’s how out of it I was. But I have an older sister, and when we were asked about having our pictures taken, she thought it was cool. So, of course, I did, too.

PG: But 13 is the height of awkwardness. Weren’t you self-conscious in front of the camera?

KK: Being a 13-year-old girl is tough. There’s a pressure to fit in. And I was always the odd one out. This odd, tall duck. Taller than the other kids, taller than the teachers.

CB: Luckily, our industry celebrates that. Someone finally likes your big feet!

KK: But coming to New York and being appreciated for what made me different helped me learn to appreciate myself.

CB: Having confidence can help — not in your physicality, but as a person. I felt confident as a horseback rider. And I brought that with me.

KK: For me, it was ballet. You come with a focus.

PG: You’re both the second sister in families of girls.

KK: You’re in the middle, too?

CB: Nobody wants to claim the middle, but I like it.

PG: I would have killed a younger sibling who became a supermodel. Did your success screw up the family dynamic?

KK: Not really. It was a family affair. My parents and my grandmother, everyone had to start juggling to figure out who’s coming with me to New York and Milan, and who’s taking care of everyone else.

CB: My mom came with me to Paris. The people I was working with were her age. So she had a great time, and I loved having her to myself.

PG: But that’s what I mean: You two are off in Paris, and your sisters are stuck in geometry. How could they not resent you?

CB: When I started modeling, my older sister was much more interested in it than I was. But they told her right away, “You’re not tall enough.” She was sad, but she was already very popular. And I brought my sisters everywhere with me. So they got the benefit of it, too.

KK: Same here. My sisters are always with me. But they also see how hard I work: getting off a red-eye at 4 a.m. and sleeping for three hours before I go to work again. They respect that.

CB: And some people, when they get close to the attention, see, “Oh, that’s not for me.” My younger sister is shy.

PG: You started so young; you must have had a lot to learn about fashion and modeling.

KK: I had a lot of luck. I was the right girl at the right time. But I was also a sponge. I didn’t talk a lot. I just listened and kept my eyes open and tried to soak up everything I could.

CB: Fashion is all about references. All these names being thrown around. I was like: “Who’s Anna Magnani? What’s ‘La Dolce Vita’?” And I felt it was my job to learn them. It was an amazing education, and [the fashion photographer] Steven Meisel was a great teacher. We did so many movie screenings — with the hair and makeup team and Lori Goldstein, the stylist. Then we’d play: Let’s do Sophia Loren! I also had a great experience with Arthur Elgort, who was the first big photographer I worked with. “Don’t hold your hands like that,” he’d say. I learned so much from him about light and angles.

KK: Learning is what makes you better. I had the same experience with Arthur. He shot my first Teen Vogue story. And he loved that I could move. I had this ballet background. It’s probably the biggest reason I have the career I have: I know how to move.

PG: You also had to learn about money. You were earning buckets of it as kids.

CB: The money kept getting more and more. There was this thing where you signed a contract with Ford Models and tied yourself to them. And I was like: “No way! They work for me, not the other way around.” The first time I signed a contract with Calvin Klein, they advised me not to have my own lawyer. My parents didn’t know about that area. So I learned by making mistakes, and eventually I got savvier.

KK: I remember doing a shoot at Macy’s, after school. I brought my voucher and got paid $700. The only comparison I had was babysitting — at $6 an hour.

CB: Go Macy’s!

KK: Financial independence is empowering. And seeing a world that I certainly never knew existed. I don’t mean the glamorous life. Seeing other cities, hearing other languages, tasting other food. But there’s a responsibility in that, too.

PG: I’m glad you brought that up. Because 10 years into these megacareers

KK: Wait! Am I 10 years in?

CB: No. Maybe from being discovered.

KK: (laughing) Don’t age me, Philip!

PG: You both carved out time for education. Did people think you were crazy to walk away from the money?

CB: I had talked about it for so long, I was like the boy who cried wolf. I also wasn’t that brave. I had two pretty big contracts when I stopped. I had already stopped doing runway.

PG: Why was that?

CB: The traveling, which is so attractive early on, becomes a grind. You want to have a home life and a relationship. And I was jealous of my sisters’ experiences in school. I almost had to exhaust myself at modeling before I could say, “O.K., I’m ready for school.”

KK: For me, starting so young, I never thought this was going to be my career. But I’m long-term greedy. I want to do this job for decades, but I don’t want to burn myself out with it now. Going to school is part of that balance. There’s so much I want to learn.

PG: My favorite trick: You’ve both taken success at a job that’s all about being scrutinized, objectified even, and turned it into a launching pad for projects that empower women.

KK: Christy paved the way.

CB: I don’t know about that. But I’ve always searched for ways to turn my losses into advocacy. When I lost my father to lung cancer, I said: “I’m not going to be photographed smoking anymore. I don’t believe in it.” That experience was huge for me.

KK: I feel a responsibility with success, too. Like: Why wasn’t it the girl next to me or my sisters? I’ve always worked with philanthropic groups. But I had my first aha moment when I was 16. I’ve always loved baking. I bring cookies to shoots. So I’m in this apartment in New York with my grandma, and I’m baking — because I can’t go out at night — and I have this idea: Let’s make a healthy version of these cookies and sell them to benefit hungry kids.

CB: They’re delicious, by the way.

KK: Ten meals for hungry kids with every tin sold.

CB: It’s very human to want to make an impact, to contribute to the world. But it’s hard to know the how and why. Like, “Will my small thing make a difference?”

PG: Was it important that your big projects — maternal health and coding for girls — be about equal rights for women?

KK: For me, it started with this realization about how much we interact with technology every single day. No matter what you do. I wanted to know more. So I took this two-week coding class at the Flatiron School. And it was mind-blowing — like: “Whoa! This is how apps work; this is how my phone works.” I thought, “I want to share this with other girls.”

PG: Because coding is such a male-dominated profession?

KK: Like 80 percent. It’s very disproportionately male. That’s why it’s even more important to get girls involved. Technology and apps are the future, and I want girls to be a part of it.

CB: We think about this all the time at Every Mother Counts. Could we come up with an app to connect mothers to each other and health providers? But it’s hard to dream when you don’t know how things work.

KK: And if you understand the basics, you can understand the possibilities. So the call to action I put out there was creating access to coding for girls. Anybody interested in a scholarship, send me a video and tell me why.

PG: I watched the video from the girl who wanted to make an app for her autistic brother, tears streaming down my face.

KK: The nonwinners will blow you away, too.

CB: It must have been so hard to narrow it down.

KK: I just want every girl and boy to know about the opportunities that exist out there.

PG: Which parallels Every Mother Counts.

CB: To me, every life has equal value. I had a scary complication during childbirth. And later, I learned that many women don’t have access to the simple care that saved my life. That was a huge realization. Every woman should be able to bring her child into the world safely. You don’t need the best obstetrician, but you do need access to information and education.

PG: Do many women die in childbirth?

CB: The estimates now are just under 300,000 annually [worldwide], mostly girls between 15 and 19. But 98 percent of those deaths are preventable. And for every woman who dies, there are 20 to 30 others who nearly die, or suffer lifelong disability, infertility or other complications.

KK: That’s a lot of women.

CB: So many of them don’t have the economic independence to get the quality of care that they should have access to.

PG: That’s what your projects have in common: giving voices to people who don’t have them.

KK: I feel really lucky to be a 20-year-old right now with my life ahead of me. I have opportunities that didn’t exist for my mom, and certainly didn’t exist for her mom. I want us all to have them.

CB: And when you surround yourself with people who are doing incredible things, they inspire you — your friends, your peers, your family — every day. They raise the bar for everyone.

KK: Can we have lunch together every day?

PG: After you finish your homework. (x)

Check, Please? Chapter 20

Something that I loved to do - aside from watching strangers in public and trying to guess their story with Harry - was sitting back and remembering how I met people.

I was just emerging as an accomplished photographer, especially in the fashion world.  I recently graduated from NYU, Harry and I had just bought our apartment just a few minutes away from the studio I just created and only a little ways away from my mother’s grave.  I was happy and full of excitement for the bright future that I could spot off on the distance.  I had a camera, some new money, sobriety, and my best friend by my side.

The one thing I didn’t have was a lamp.  No matter what kind of light bulbs we used for the ceiling light, the living room was dark as ever.  I blamed the random brick wall behind the television.  I remember leaving Harry early that morning when he was still asleep to go out shopping.  Just outside the city was a small, inexpensive furniture store where Harry and I purchased most of our basic furniture for the apartment – beds, dressers, mirrors… all that jazz.  The place was dark and dusty, obviously not a place that many people came.  Once you got past the moldy smell of the building, it wasn’t bad.  The quality of the different pieces of furniture was surprisingly good.  I looked around at the selection of lamps that they had on display, lifting each of the colorless cloth lampshades and peeking under them like there was some sort of surprise waiting for me. I flipped over the price tags and read the numbers despite the fact that I had just gotten paid from my first shoot with Calvin Klein… and I really had nothing to worry about monetarily for a few years, at least.

“Are ye looking fer a certain kind of lamp?”

The man’s strong Irish accent caught me off-guard.  “No,” I said quickly, grinning and turning to face him. “Just looking.”

He was cute.  His little blonde spiky hair stood up all around his head and his blue eyes glimmered playfully despite the dim lighting of the building.  “Well just let me know if I can help ye.” He leaned closer to me. “I really need to make a sale today though, so if ye could help me out in any way I would love you forever.  M’name is Niall.”  As he grinned, I spotted some clear braces lining his teeth.

I laughed shook his outstretched hand. “Scotlan.”

His eyes widened. “Scotlan Ray?”

In a studio, having someone recognize my name wouldn’t have been anything weird, but having the furniture salesman outside of the city in a run-down store was.  I nodded slowly. “Yes…  How did you know?”

“It’s not every day you meet a girl named Scotlan in New York.  Oh my god,” Niall began to hyperventilate. “Holy shit it’s my lucky day.”

“Niall!” Someone shouted from across the empty store.  From the looks of his stiff suit and graying hair, I assumed it was the supervisor. “What have I said about that language in here??”

Niall bounced up and down. “I don’t remember, I’m a bit hungover right now and also in shock-“ He looked back at me and lowered his voice.  “I’m Niall Horan,” he told me again quickly, shaking my hand over and over.  “I’ve been watching for your name in the magazines.  My dad called me a pansy when I told him I wanted to be a model and then he kicked me out of th’ house and I left the country and came here and I’ve been trying so hard to find someone who might give me just a chance.  Please let me prove myself to you, I’m really good at posing and-“ he stepped back and jumped on the bed behind him.  He stood tall and tore his button-down shirt open, revealing a nice 6-pack and some rather attractive chest hair.

“NIALL HORAN!” His supervisor shouted as he rushed around benches, chairs, and desks to get to us.

Niall jumped down and took my hand again. “Please, I swear I won’t let you down.  I’d be forever in your debt.  I’ve seen your recent work with Harry Styles and I can just tell you’re going to go so far and to be a part of that with you-“

“I’m so sorry for his behavior, ma’am,” the supervisor said, taking my hand forcefully from Niall’s and stepping in front of him so that I could no longer see the frantic, bare-chested Niall.  “I promise, it’s not a reflection of the rest of the staff.  Is there something that I might be able to help you with while Mr. Horan is taking his break?”  The supervisor tried to shoo Niall away inconspicuously.

“Actually,” I said, “He was being very helpful.”

Niall’s head perked up over the shoulder of the supervisor.

“I needed help finding lamps and Niall was showing me how the lighting of this one… uh… made his chest look… more tan,” I stuttered.  “Especially when he was standing on the bed.”

The supervisor turned and peered disapprovingly at Niall.  “That doesn’t excuse the language, Mr. Horan.  Once more and you’re out of here.”  The supervisor nodded at me apologetically as he turned on his heel and left us.  Niall stuck one of his fingers in his mouth and looked at me. “Thank you so much.  Ye saved me.”

I giggled.  I loved his accent.  “I’m going to take a chance.  I need another model.  You’re a handsome guy.  Sometimes, it’s the people who have the most passion who are the most willing to learn and you seem pretty passionate.”

The color drained from Niall’s face. “Is this a joke?”

I shook my head and took his face in both of my hands. “No, I promise.  But if you mess up or maybe just aren’t as good as I feel like you might be, I’m going to have to let you go.  Also, I’ll need you to sell me a lamp before we leave.  This one, perhaps?” I nodded to the small lamp with the light blue shade beside me without taking my eyes off Niall.

Niall’s cheeks spread in my hands as he smiled harder and harder.  Before I would say or do anything else, he leaned forward and kissed me on my lips.

“WOoooOAH, okay,” I said, laughing and pulling away. “Don’t make me regret my decision already.”

“NIALL HORAN, DAMMIT-“ The supervisor was heading our direction with steam coming out of his ears.  “WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT KISSING THE CUSTOMERS??”

“I quit, ya lout!” Niall yelled, jumping up on one of the beds around us and jumping from it to another.  “I’m on my way to fame!  Fuck you and your furniture!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched him.  Something in my gut right then was telling me that he would be an essential part of our team, and that feeling was right.  I stared at Niall from across the living room of our apartment as he drank a beer and thought of how we met.

“What?” Harry asked, interrupting the memory as it came to a close.

I twisted my body to look up at him. “Hmm?”

“You’re sitting there grinning,” he said, running his fingers through my hair and shifting so that I was leaning back against his chest again.

“Nothing,” I replied, blinking and looking back over at Niall.  Next to him stood the lamp with the light blue shade.  It didn’t match anything in the rest of the apartment, but it helped with the lighting issue.  I looked back at Niall.  For as much as I loved Niall, he was driving me crazy at the moment.  He had been with us for a week.  Bailey refused to let Niall come even close to the house that they usually shared. When Niall went back over to try and talk to her halfway through the week, he found her helping some other guy move in to Niall’s old room.  Heartbroken, he came back to us and we took him in, letting him remain in Harry’s room… but we were beginning to regret letting him stay here.  Harry and I felt like we couldn’t do anything without Niall interrupting.  Any time we would tell him we were going on a date, it was as if he would deliberately drink enough to become impaired and needy and make us stay home with him.

Harry and I tried multiple times to escape up to the roof, but most nights it was rainy or too cold.  Any time we were close to having sex in the bedroom, Niall would knock on the door and ask if we would watch a movie with him – even if it was two or three o’clock in the morning.  It was like he was a needy little puppy.  Harry and I attempted sex in the shower, but Harry ended up slipping and banging his head on the wall.  We even tried in the Celica, but it was way too small for Harry’s long body, and when I tried to ride him I kept hitting my head on the roof of the car.  Harry and I were both about to lose our minds (Harry more than myself), but neither one of us had the heart to send Niall away or leave him by himself.

“Why don’t you buy your own place?”  Harry urged Niall.  “Maybe then Bailey will see you’ve matured or something and then she’ll come back to you.”

Niall took a sip of his beer and looked at Harry and I, curled up on the couch together. “You think so?”

“Yes-“ I said a little too quickly. “You could even get a place close to here.  Then you wouldn’t be so far away. You know Louis lives right down the street and so does Zayn.”

Niall sunk back in his chair and surprised us by putting his beer down.  That’s a first.  “I dunno.  I really liked my place with Bailey.”

Harry groaned just loud enough for me to hear. “But Bailey kicked you o-“

I elbowed him in the gut. “Harry-“

Harry sighed underneath me.  I ran my thumb over the skin on his arm and stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom.  My stomach kinda hurts.”

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, taking my hand and looking up at me.

I smiled down at him and watched as his soft red lips pressed barely to the back of my hand. “Just my period, probably.”

Niall grimaced.

I walked to the bathroom and pulled down my underwear, looking at the cloth as I sat down on the cold seat.  I frowned when I saw it was clean and looked at the date on my phone. “I’m late…?”  I whispered to myself.  I was never late.  Stress could mess up my cycle… but I wasn’t stressed.  Or at least I thought I wasn’t.  There was no way I could be pregnant.

As soon as I thought the word in my head, my heart leapt.  I dropped to my knees in front of the toilet and threw up.

“Babe?” Harry knocked on the door.  I clutched my stomach and looked down at the full toilet bowl.  “You okay?”

“Don’t come in-“ I blurted, feeling a second round of vomit on its way. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

I tried to keep quiet as more vomit spilled out of my mouth, but to no avail. 

Harry opened the door and rushed to my side. “Do you want water?  Some crackers?”

I shook my head.

“Was it something you ate? Maybe the fast food from last night?”

I shook my head again. “I don’t know.” I wiped my mouth with my towel and took a moment to breathe, making sure nothing else was coming up.  Pregnant? “I need to run to the store-“ I stood up quickly and tried to hurry past Harry.  He grabbed me and brushed my hair out of my face.

“I’ll go for you-“

“No, I need to go-“

“You need to stay home and rest-“

“Harry, please let me go-“

“Scotlan-“

“Harold!”

Harry’s green eyes widened at me as I covered my face and sighed. “Okay,” he said quietly.  “Are you going to be okay driving?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine.” But I might be pregnant?

He bit his lip. “I’ll get you the keys.”

I was out the door before Harry could say anything else.  I knew he was confused and probably a little offended that I wasn’t letting him help me but this was something I needed to do alone.  I ran into the nearest Walgreens and bought the first pregnancy test that I saw.  I ignored the judgmental look that the cashier girl gave me and hurried off to my next destination.

“Scotlan?” Louis asked, squinting into the sunlight that his open front door was letting in. “It’s like, 11 in the morning, what are you doing here?”  He rubbed his eyes, a clear indication that I had just woken him up with my frantic knocking.

“I need to come in and use your bathroom.”

He frowned. “Is yours broken?”

“Dammit Louis, just let me in-“ I pushed past him into his apartment and was a little surprised to see Anna walking out of his bedroom, half-dressed.

“Scotty?” She asked, grinning sleepily and pulling at the bottom of Louis’ tee, which was draped over her skinny body. “What are you doing here?” She pulled me into a sloppy hug.

I gulped. “I just needed to talk to Louis… about work.”

“And use the bathroom,” Louis added.

“Is yours broken?” She asked.

Louis slapped Anna’s bottom harshly and kissed her on the cheek. “Same thing I asked.”

“Look,” I said, gripping my purse tightly. “I just really need to talk to Louis.”

“Okay,” Anna said, sitting down on the couch.  Louis sat next to her.  They both looked at me and waited for me to speak.  I knew this wouldn’t be easy.  I had never kept anything from Anna.

“Uhh… alone,” I added.

Anna and Louis both eyed me curiously.  “About work?” Anna asked. “Is it about the shoot next week?”

I shook my head. “Just… uh.  I just need to talk to Louis.  You know, about a thing.”

Anna’s eyes flashed a hint of irritation, but she stood up from the couch and turned to Louis.  “I need to go anyway.  Got some stuff to take care of with Tim.” She passed me to get dressed.

“I’m going to go pee while she’s doing that…”  I said. Louis frowned and crossed his arms over his bare chest.  I ran to the bathroom and peed, making sure to aim for the pregnancy test while I tinkled.  When I was done, I carefully placed the test under the sink and ran back out of the bathroom, bumping into Anna before I got to the living room where Louis was.

She didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong, Scotlan?”

I tried my best to smile. “Nothing, why?”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost and I know you’re not telling me the truth.”

I gasped. “I’m not lying to you about anything.  Nothing is wrong.”

“Well what do you have to talk to Louis about?”  She asked jealously.

I sighed. “Really, it’s nothing.  It could be your surprise birthday party for all you know.” I stuck my tongue out at her.  She glared at me, but before long was smiling with me.

“I know you would tell me if it was important.”

I took her hands in mine. “Exactly.”

She hugged me tightly and lowered her voice. “We’re like, a thing now – Louis and I.  Louis really treats me right.  I finally understand and you were right about love.  I didn’t really see before what it was like to have someone who doesn’t just use you all the time.  Louis and I… we’re perfect for each other.”

My stomach plummeted but I grinned. “I’m glad Anna.”  I followed her back to the living room where Louis was and watched them kiss each other goodbye before Anna walked out the front door.

“Why did you never tell me how great of a catch she was?” Louis asked, sitting back on the couch across from me. “God, she’s great.”

“Great?” I asked, knowing that Anna would do the same.  “Surely you can think of a better word.”

Louis rolled his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands. “I just woke up, fuck off.  Now what is the big secret?”

I gulped.  “Louis, I might be pregnant.”

He frowned. “Might be?”

“I just took a pregnancy test.”

He raised an eyebrow? “Just now? What did it say?”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the time on my phone. “I have to wait another minute.”

He nodded. “Are you trying to hide it for some reason?”

I furrowed my brow at him. “I mean, I don’t know how well everyone else would handle it…  Especially Anna and Harry… with our current situations…”

Louis sat back. “Nonsense.  I think Harry would be thrilled.  He seems like a daddy kind of guy.  And why would it matter to Anna?”

I shook my head slowly. “Louis… Harry and I haven’t really had sex in the last couple of weeks. The last person I had sex with was you.”

A tense silence filled the room as it all sunk in.  Louis’ tan skin paled as he sat back and blinked at me. 

“You did finish in me, right?”  I confirmed.

He nodded slowly. “I think so.  But you’re on the pill.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I had a cousin who got pregnant three times, all while she was on the pill.  It doesn’t work every time.  I had morning sickness and my period is late.”

Louis puffed out his cheeks and ran his fingers through his hair. “What the absolute hell…” He groaned. “Well that really just…” He picked up a pillow and buried his face in it.  “How late is your period?”

“About a week.”

“You should have waited a little longer to panic, you’ll probably get your period tomorrow.”

I scowled at Louis. “Why the fuck would I wait?  I’m always on time.  This is serious.”

Louis threw the pillow across the room. “Dammit, I don’t know, I’m just trying to make myself feel better.“

I closed my eyes and sat still, listening to the clock hanging by the door as it ticked for each second that passed.

Louis growled. "Anna is not going to be happy.”

I rubbed my temples. “And think about Harry.”

Louis chewed his lip. “You could have sex with him and just tell him it’s his.”

I shot a piercing glare in Louis’ direction. “That is  the definition of a dick move, Louis Tomlinson.  That is absolutely horrible of you.”

He looked at me matter-of-factly. “It was a joke.  Not a very funny one, obviously… Has it been a damn minute yet?”

I leapt up and rushed to the bathroom.  I kept my eyes closed as I picked up the small stick carefully from under the sink and walked out of the bathroom.  My thumb covered the results.  Louis gripped my shaking shoulders as he stood in front of me and we both looked down at the test in my fingers.  I lifted my thumb slowly and groaned when I saw the small, pink happy face.

How could this happen to me?