i want to know 7 year old me

:^)) tfw when Memories™ pop up :^)) and you gotta wonder why no one noticed you were an abused kid :^))) the symptoms were all there :^)) I wasn’t just a ‘weird kid’ like y'all said I was :^))) adults always say they know more about kids than they let on but if that’s really the case they must really not give a shit about us when the ignore very obvious signs of abuse :^^))) I spoke about some fucked up shit right in front of teachers and parents and none of them said anything, none of them reacted :^)) if they’re actually listening they don’t give a damn

goldenorbrokenorlost  asked:

Hi! I was wondering whether you might have pointers to resources for gifted+ADHD adults, if there are any decent ones out there that don't minimize the disabling nature of ADHD and just treat it like a magic creativity bonus. I hope this isn't presumptuous to ask, but I'm really struggling with stuff like being able to go to bed in time to get enough sleep at the same time as holding down a career that makes people go "ooooo you must be ~so smart" and am incredibly frustrated by the combination.

Giftedness is such a frustrating thing to talk about, because there are all these cultural narratives around ~bragging and ~egotism and shit and like… no. Giftedness isn’t important to me because I want to be TEH SMRTST, it’s important to me because I had no friends as a child. Realizing, “Hey, I have this neurodivergence that means that OF COURSE 99.9% of the kids I meet think I’m weird” meant I stopped thinking that I was just uniquely broken and unlovable.

It’s about being smart enough to name all the moons of Jupiter, but not realizing the other 7-year-olds don’t want to hear them. It’s about being literally mandated by all the adults in your life to do work that they know is too easy for you for a dozen years, and having your executive function atrophy, and then almost drowning when you’re thrown in the river of work hard enough for you in college.

Soooo yeah. I care about it a lot. (For people who aren’t familiar with my extensive back catalogue: I’ve written essays before on giftedness as neurodivergence and how most gifted children don’t grow up into eminent adults)

Anyway, the term for giftedness+disability (learning disability, autism spectrum, physical disability, mental illness) is “twice-exceptional” or “2e”.  Twee as fuck, but whatever, it’s googleable. I guess parents don’t want to be like my friend Feather and call it “comorbidity”. I also find ADDitude magazine to be a perpetually good resource.

Fortunately (unfortunately?) a huge number of resources for ADHD adults honestly are aimed at Gifted ADHD adults, just because most things written about psychology and self-help are inaccessible to people who aren’t cognitively strong. So if you like reading tons of psychological literature, ADDitude has a list of classics in the field.

I know this is absolute shit and looks like it was made by a 7-year-old instead of a 24-year-old. I’m not an artist by any definition, but I still wanted to do something to celebrate because he means a lot to me, so I just kinda did this on my whiteboard last night. (Don’t know why I didn’t just stick to paper, honestly. Would’ve looked better and been so much easier to deal with.) Anyway, I’ve only been following the channel for about 5 months, and the podcast about 2 months, but it didn’t take me long to get hooked. Ethan’s content has been one of my biggest coping mechanisms these past few months. I was working a job I hated, the living situation at the apartment I shared with my friends had changed, and I couldn’t afford my loans on top of rent and my other bills, so I recently had to move out of town and back in with my parents, which has put me away from all of my friends. All these circumstances, on top of the anxiety and depression I already feel on a normal basis, quickly sent me in a downward spiral. But Ethan’s stuff has been giving me something to look forward to every day, something to smile and laugh at. And his words have often given me more motivation and made me feel better about myself. Even though I haven’t been here since the beginning, and I wish I had been cause he’s wonderful, I’m still so happy to see how far he’s come the past 5 years and all he’s accomplished and what he’s going to accomplish. He deserves it. And despite all of it, he’s still such a humble, sweet, genuine, honest, giving, caring, and compassionate person, and still full of enthusiasm, passion, love, and determination towards his work and his fans. I know this got kind of rambly and ended up being long, so sorry, but I just want to say, congratulations, Ethan. We’re all so proud of everything you’ve done and will continue to do. I’m honored to be able to share this part of your journey with you. Thank you so much for being you and doing what you do. You are so important. 💙
- Anne


Hey y’all, so I’ve been trying to keep this a secret, as it was my guilty pleasure, but now I just want to share with you all the amazing fanfictions I’ve read since my stay in this fandom. Just some warning bc, yea. They are M/M aka male/male fics so yea, you understand. There are boys together. Who kiss and sometimes more cough. Accept that. Also none of these fics are mine, the authors will be linked along with the stories themselves!

SO HERE’S THE WILD RIDE GUYS. Give them a try. These will be my ALL TIME favourite fics so. Quality. ((this is future Lucy hola, i’ve just realised that 7/10 fics are Taekook, soz, even though I’m low-key yoonmin biased it’s really hard to find good of them so yea.))

10. sountracks by maxx

  Words: 38,877
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Yoonmin l Yoongi-Jimin hOLY SHIT YES
  Summary: What Yoongi doesn’t say is this: “If only you knew, Park Jimin. Every song I write, and all the words I have to give, will always be yours.”(Or, Yoongi is a famous underground rapper from simple beginnings and Jimin is his hip-hop hating, exceedingly rich boyfriend). *it says smut but i cant remember so just putting it out there that it might have SMUT*

9. because fries and mixtapes by hoars
  Words: 6,644
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taegi l Taehyung-Yoongi
  Summary:  Yoongi works the graveyard shift at a fast food restaurant while trying to make it big. Taehyung has insomnia. 

8.  the moon and the stars (are nothing without you) by wowoashley
  Words: 19,179
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: based off the prompt: “Taekook college AU! The college tour guide raved about the uni’s friendly atmosphere and amicable student body, but wanted a high five from a cute student and all he got was a glare”

7.  it’s you and me (i know it’s my destiny) by florations
  Words: 10,334
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Recipe to The Perfect Halloween:
1. Pokémon costumes;
2. Lots of candy;
3. The perfect friendAll of which seven-year-old Jeon Jungkook finds in nine-year-old Kim Taehyung.(Then they grow up, and it’s not quite the same anymore.) adorable fricking hell

6.  pick me up, buttercup by vppa
  Words: 9,272
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: AU where your soulmate’s first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet.Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook’s forearm will now forever read “Hey baby, if you were a booger, I’d pick you first.“What the fuck, universe. FRICKING SOULMATE! AU YES

5.  maybe we’re all just fools by airplanewishes
  Words: 52,675
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary:  Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before. im pretty sure it took me like half a day to finish this but fucking hell it’s good. really good

4.  Cocoa Puffs by madigraye
  Words: 39,705
  Chapters: 4/4
  Pairing: Yoonmin l Yoongi-Jimin finally my bubs
  Summary:  Somewhere between fake basketball matches and even faker marriages, Park Jimin learns that camp is for fun, and summer is for butterflies.

3.  all the right wrongs by aeterisks
  Words: 34,132
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary:  Jeongguk’s fate seems to have a name, and that name happens to be Kim Taehyung. I’m begging you get tissues before this. I forgot to notice that it’s angst so here’s the warning y’all. *IT’S FUCKING ANGST ALSO BEAUTIFUL, 100/100*

2.  Don’t Let Your Love Go To Waste by krscnl
  Words: 41,032
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Taehyung and Jungkook meet on Omegle.

1.   King of the Library, Knight of His Trade by madigraye
  Words: 47,430
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Moral of the story? Don’t fuck with Jeon Jungkook or else you’ll end up ruining your perfect attendance to chase his coattails. this is utterly perfect oh my god

+  Figuring It Out as We Go by peppermint_wind
 Words: 4,245
 Chapters: 1/1
 Pairing: Jikook l Jimin-Jungkook
 Summary: **Based off of Jungkook covering Troye Sivan’s, “Fools.” - “Jimin’s breathing begins to even, and Jungkook watches his chest rise and fall, steady and slow, like how waves wash up on Busan beaches.”

Howl’s Moving Castle sentence starters

1. “Here’s another curse: may all your bacon burn.”

2. “Don’t be alarmed, but I’m being followed. Act normal.”

3. “Sorry. Looks like you’re involved.”

4. “I’ll be sure to draw them off, but wait a bit before you go outside.”

5. “I’m not asking what Father/Mother would have wanted, I want to know what you want.”

6. “It’s your life, _____. Do something for yourself for once, will you?”

7. “The best part of that spell is that you can’t tell anyone about it.”

8. “Don’t come in here! I’ve got a bad cold. I don’t want you to catch it.”

9. “You sound ghastly. Like some 90-year-old woman.”

10. “I’m sure you have some kind of spell on you, and I’ve had more than enough of witches and spells.“

11. “If you’d like to do me one more favor, you could run off and find me a place to stay.”

12. “You turnip-head, that’s ____’s castle! That is not what I meant when I asked for a place to stay!”

13. “Make up your mind, are you going to let me in or not?”

14. “I don’t envy you, Lady/Mister. That is one bad curse.”

15. “Listen, if you can find a way to break the spell that’s on me, then I’ll break the spell that’s on you.”

16. “Do you really think I’d let a witch in here?”

17. “Quit telling lies to our customers.”

18. “Leave it alone, ____. I’m getting angry.”

19. “This is a magic house, isn’t it?”

20. “I don’t cook! I’m a scary and powerful fire demon.”

21. “Wait a second, you’re all going to eat while I do all the work?!”

22. “I can’t remember the last time we had a real breakfast.”

23. “I’m sick of being treated like some timid little old lady!”

24. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t torment my friend.”

25. “If I die, ____ dies too, I hope you know.”

26. “I’m the worst kind of witch ever, the kind that cleans.”

27. “Thank you, ___. How did you get to be so kind?”

28. “S/he’s fine. S/he’s just throwing a tantrum.”

29. “You’re wearing that hat? After all the magic I used to make your dress pretty?”

30. “Why do I feel like this is not going to work?”

31. “If I didn’t have you to worry about, I would have clobbered her/him.”

32. “I don’t get it. Where does s/he get all that energy?”

33. “Knowing you would be there gave me the courage to show up.”

34. “I can give you five minutes of invisibility, so use it wisely.”

35. “You’re in love. Don’t try to deny it, you’ve been sighing all day.”    

36. “S/he keeps staring at me. It’s freaking me out.”

37. “It’s a present for you. Come see.”

38. “You like it? It’s my secret garden.”

39. “Don’t leave, ____. I love you. You have to stay.”

40. “S/he fed me something gross. I feel sick.”

41. “Now I’ve got something I want to protect. It’s you.” 

42. “Imagine what I could have done with your eyes, or your heart.” 

43. “I’ll be okay if you do it, I think.” 

44. “I know that spell. A kiss from your true love breaks it.” 

45. “I kind of missed you guys, and it looks like it’s going to rain.”  

FP Jones x Reader- Figure it out

Thank you anon for the request! As I stated before everyone in this fic is legal age, and the reader will be older than Jug. I also made it so FP was young when he had Jug, but there was still a large gap.

Anyway I am so so sorry this was late. Aaaaah I hate that this was so late. I hope I wrote it to your standards and you like it ^^ If not please let me know and I will try to fix it. Also thank you so, so much for the well wishes you sweetheart <3 Hope you are doing well anon!

I don’t know yet if I will continue to allow age differences like this in my writing as I wasn’t too keen on writing it. I wasn’t a big fan but I did want to get this one written, as I said I would

Warnings: Age difference, swearing, implied smut

Words: 2160


Keep reading

it was just a matter of time- riarkle headcanon

-Riley and farkle move away for college because they got into colleges hella close to eachother (because of course they did)

 -Maya and lucas move in together too cuz lucas is going to vet school 30 min away from where maya goes to art school

-So they rent an apartment

-So what do you do when you buy an apartment together? you furnish an apartment together

-Farkles parents basically ruffle his hair and toss a credit card at him when he tells them so riley decides that just this once she can take advantage of the situation

-Riley is very into interior design

-Farkle is very into riley

-So he just kinda agrees with her on everything and she designs a BANGING apartment

-At one point she goes into a pottery barn and goes “ill take that” to the salesclerk

-“What, the chair?”

-“No. the room.”

-It ends up looking fantastic because of course it does

-So college starts, riley is an overachiever of course and takes way too many classes and is constantly sleep deprived

-Which means Riley falls asleep on Farkle a lot and one time when she falls asleep on the couch surrounded by textbooks Farkle picks her up and puts her in bed

-She calls him superman for a week after she realizes what he did

-Farkle and riley facetime Lucaya at one point and lucaya’s like “lol they’re so in love”

-Oh! yeah

- so farkle is always getting into situations that require riley to save him

-“Riley please help I lied to the cool frat guys and told them i was dating someone will you pretend to be my girlfriend for a night thank you I love you”

-He gets into these situations on purpose tho obviously

-One time Riley breaks her left arm slipping on ice and Farkle takes care of her a lot (smoothies and carrying stuff for her because she is a c r y b a b y )

-And another time Farkle has an emotional breakdown over not being the best and Riley comforts him and they fall asleep in each-others arms

-Fast forward a few months and Ok Lucas and Maya  are getting MARRIED What the FUCK theyre so young??? Whatever lets support it wait it’s a destination wedding what the FUCK just be my date (There’s one bed in the hotel room motherfuckers you know what that means…. Hardcore cuddles get ur mind out of the gutter smh) (They slow dance at the reception and then they’re super buzzed and KISS and stare at each other for a long time and then the song ends and they never talk about the kiss)

-Oh and one time Riley gets stalked by this really creepy guy and Farkle to the rescue (he puts on like 6 jackets and follows the guy down the street at night and pushes him up against a wall and says in a really deep voice ‘stay away from riley.” and the guy goes running and never bothers riley again)

-So after freshman year Cory asks if they’re going to be living together forever and Riley just shrugs and says “i don’t see why not”

-Fast forward and they go to a halloween party sophomore year and Theres an apple bobbing station and Farkles like “remember when I saved your life twice” And riley kisses his cheek and goes ‘my hero’ and their friends see this

-and said friends make them make out in truth or dare

-Riley wants to talk about it the next day but farkle just says ‘just forget it Riley, Its nothing” because he thinks that Riley was gonna reject him and rileys like ‘oh wow ok’ and the next few weeks are super awkward.

-But riley wasnt gonna reject him

-She was gonna ask him to go out with her


-So like shes sulking around the house all the time feeling all dejected

-And so is farkle

-But riley is PISSED at farkle

-But also highkey pining for him

-And farkle is highkey pining for her

-So much angst jfc

-Then he’s gonna leave for a month over thanksgiving break to visit his family and Riley is just standing in the doorway and he sees her looking just so empty and he just says ‘fuck it” and kisses her

-Shes all happy for like 8 seconds and then she just. Punches him. In the face.

-And hes like “RILEY WHAT THE HELL”





-The general consensus is “??????????????????????????????????”

-And so farkle calls his dad and just says “SOMETHING CAME UP”, walks to the kitchen clutching his nose to get an ice pack and just turns around and yells “ARE YOU COMING OR NOT”

-She follows him because she is Very Confused™ and feels bad about punching him

-So hes just sitting at the table with a pack of frozen peas pressed to his face and if riley werent so upset shed laugh becuase he looks like a mop of hair and two eyes on top of a bag of frozen vegetables

-“Well? Are you going to sit down?”

-She does

-There is 2 minutes and 17 seconds of silence

-They both counted

-She breaks it with “sorry for punching you”

-He just puts down the peas and goes “please explain”

-She probably owes him that she decides

-“Well you see i guess i’d had these subconscious feelings for you and then we made out and suddenly they were very conscious and i wanted to talk to you about it and maybe see if it was going to go somewhere but then you rejected me”

-It is at this point that farkle slams his head into the table



-If farkle wasnt already bleeding from his nose he wouldve punched himself






-“YOU DO?”


-It is at this point that farkle vaults over the table, LIFTS riley out of her chair, and kisses her like there’s no tommorrow

-They stand there kissing for a solid 7 minutes (in heaven lmao puns)

-But then riley realizes that farkle is still very much injured

-“Um babe maybe we should get you to a hospital”

-“Yes i am decently sure my nose is broken you throw a great right hook”

-It is not, in fact, broken, just badly bruised

-The doctor asks “what happened?” and they both say “bar fight” at the same time

-So they send farkle home with some tape and an icepack and he recovers quickly

-Which is great because riley feels SO BAD

-Apologizing 24/7

-she makes him soup and brings him ice cream and makes him a goddamn “sorry i punched you babe i love you” poster

-And she really wants to make out with him

-Stupid miscommunicating nerds

-Love them

-Riarkle for life

-Thank u

-The end

Daddy? Are You in Love with Prince Charming?

Written for Sterek Week 2017 (and for my darling bud @halesstiles who’s having a bad day, hope you enjoy babe <3)

On AO3

Summary: Derek takes his daughter Erica to Disneyland for the first time to celebrate her 8th birthday. The last thing he was expecting was to find the most beautiful guy he has ever seen dressed as prince charming.

Erica has been a bundle of restless energy and flying golden curls ever since they left the house.

Not like he could blame her, she’s been excitedly waiting for this day since she first learned what Disneyland was. He was planning on taking her a lot sooner than her 8th birthday but with everything that happened with Kate and their battle for custody of Erica after the divorce, there wasn’t much chance to plan a trip to Disneyland.

Now though, after everything was lawfully settled between him and Kate and he has full custody of Erica, it seemed like the perfect time to take the much needed vacation. Especially with Erica’s 8th birthday taking place tomorrow.

When they finally arrived at the resort Erica was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement and pleading Derek to go to the water park inside the resort.

It took less than 5 seconds for Derek to begrudgingly agree.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Headcanon's on Lloyd and his dad or just family in general?

hi yh sorry I haven’t posted any headcanons in a while I think you sent me this like 34 years ago I’m so sorry ajdjsj

  • Lloyd: dad can I go fight the serpentine by myself
    Garmadon: what did Misako say?
    Lloyd: mom said no
    Garmadon: then why should I say yes?
    Lloyd: because she’s not the boss of you
    Garmadon: this is a trap this is a trap this is a trap this is a t
  • literally so many dad jokes Lloyd is like what did I do to deserve this
    • “hi green ninja, I’m dad.”
    • “what’s the best time to go to the dentist? tooth-hurty”
    • “you were in the serpentine war, did you ever get shot in the army?” “no, I got shot in the leggy”
    • he’s probably the one that taught Zane “dab me outside” *unauthentic air horn*
    • he does it to all the ninja so here’s exclusive footage of them recounting their experiences
    • Lloyd gives in eventually and this is the result, Garmadon is the one with the violin
  • Lloyd: hey noah fence but what the f
    Garmadon: LLOYD
    Lloyd: …….. frozen yogurt. fart. fork. frog. what the frog.
  • Garmadon is like “I know the perfect way to make it up to Lloyd and bond with him” and he’s like “I know he loves video games” so he comes home with a step dance mat for them to have dance battles and Lloyd cries because it’s perfect and he loves it
  • Misako: I love my son I would never let anything harm him or leave him for anything in the world
    Lloyd: *looks into the camera like he’s on the office*
  • when Misako isn’t home
  • Misako: *answers phone* hello?
    Lloyd: mom where are you
    Misako: I just got back from the store but I think I forgot something
    Lloyd: yeah you forgot me
  • when Lloyd was little he was a brat bc he was tryna be evil, so every time Misako cooked dinner he’d be like “I hate this I’m not eating it your cooking is gross” so she’d be like “fine but you’re not allowed anything else for the rest of the day >://” but when Lloyd goes to bed garmadon sneaks in with a McDonald’s for him and Lloyd is like >:3c
  • Garmadon: Lloyd, lemme see what you have
    Lloyd, running: a knife!!
    Garmadon: n O
  • “so dad you love me right? and you know how like. there’s been lots of stress over the past while and. I love you so much and you also love me right we’re a forever happy father and son who never get mad at each other. not that I’m trying to manipulate any feelings here!! haha who would do that. anyway so, theoretically, say for whatever reason I had blown up the microwave-”
    • Garmadon just goes “I’ll be honest with you Lloyd I blew up the microwave 3 weeks ago please don’t tell your mother”
  • Garmadon: Lloyd you’ve been hiding in there for hours, come out of the closet!
    Lloyd, from inside his closet: I’M GAY!!
    Garmadon: that’s not what I meant but I support you!!
  • Lloyd has like 7 years of piggybacks to cash in so he gets piggybacks everywhere
  • *when Lloyd was born*
    Garmadon: I want to see my little boy
    Misako: here he comes!!
  • “dad I am 3 years old I don’t know how to do taxes” “I’m like 200 years old and I still don’t know how to do taxes it doesn’t get any easier”
  • some villain: you’re an awful leader Lloyd you’ll never be anything
    Garmadon: Lloyd it’s not worth the energy, just ignore it
    some villain: yeah, listen to the old man haha!
  • hide and seek from Misako except she doesn’t know they’re playing hide and seek so they’re just hiding from her for hours and she eventually finds them in the store room eating three (3) tubs of ice cream
  • real talk Lloyd is stressed 24/7/365 so garmadon has to make him chill
  • Lloyd thinks Garmadon is the oracle of wisdom and he is in a lot of ways but I’ll be honest 30% of it is bs
    • like team wise and powers and emotional support garmadon is sorted he can give Lloyd everything he needs, but when it comes to life advice he has no idea what he’s doing so he’s just like ah,,,, yes,,,,,,,, well I’ll let your mother tell you what she thinks and then I’ll give you my take on what she says
  • *in battle*
    Garmadon: prepare for trouble, make it double!
    Lloyd: dad that's… what the bad guys say
    Garmadon: can you really blame me Lloyd
  • they’re sparring and garmadon is like “don’t go easy on me I can take it ;))” so Lloyd is like “aight” and roundhouse kicks him straight in the jaw
  • someone: how come you both have grey hair when your son is so young
    *Lloyd comes running past screaming with an armful of sweets and his sword as the entire kitchen sets on fire*
    Garmadon & Misako: haha no idea :’’’’’)
  • if you think that Lloyd is gonna prank his dad and almost give him a heart attack every time then you are correct
  • Lloyd: hey dad I’m leaving the room for 3 seconds please don’t embarrass me in front of all my friends ok
    Garmadon: got it no problem
    Also garmadon: *gets out all of Lloyd’s baby videos including one of him singing the “gotta go my own way” duet from hsm to himself in the mirror, trying to do both parts on his own*
  • Garmadon gave him his gi, right? nice sentiment, right? WRONG Lloyd is like “why am I perpetually cursed to always be expected to fight in clothes that are too big for me Zane didn’t die for this"
  • Kai is Garmadon’s favourite ninja don’t tell anyone but it’s bc he was a big brother to Lloyd when he really needed him and he’ll never be able to thank him enough for that. also it was really funny when Kai tried to fight him and it still makes him laugh
  • Lloyd has no life experience and Garmadon teaching Lloyd to drive was one of my favourite fandom jokes ever and I can’t do it justice so I won’t talk abt that one
    • however Garmadon does make a list of things he feels is necessary for him to learn:
    • flossing
    • how to cook blindfolded just in case you are temporarily visually impaired after battle
    • where he keeps the recipe for his cookies
    • be careful who you trust with a secret handshake
    • how to cut your hair 101: don’t. go to a hairdresser or ask Misako.
    • what to do if you accidentally iron a hole in your gi
    • how to knock someone out using only a cotton bud
    • how to tie your shoes bc Lloyd you can’t live in velcro shoes for your whole life they’re not very stealthy
    • why it’s bad to join a cult and get a tattoo
    • how to not go bald and make wu jealous
    • the perfect Intense voice for dire situations
    • dramatic monologues

Ask me ninjago headcanons!

29th of June, 1958.

That day not just a legend was born. That day the purest, most loving soul that ever walked this earth was born.

Michael Jackson, my idol since I have memory. I can’t put into words what this man means to me.
When people ask me why do I love him, I can’t give them an answer because there are so many things and it’s impossible to pick just one.

I can’t remember when I discovered Michael, it’s like he’s always been there. Like, I know him from the start. That’s what Michael is about. He’s there with you, all the time.
But what I do remember is the first time that I saw one of his concerts, I was 7 years old and my dad let me watch his concert from Wembley Stadium, from the Bad Tour.
As my dad has told me, I was trying to imitate all his dance moves while singing all the words to his songs with such a big smile on my face.
His music just gives me life.

Then as I got older, I started to know about the message that he wanted to spread all over the world, which is: LOVE each other.
This man tried to do everything that was on his hand to make the world a better place. He did so much for so many people, yet a lot of those people along with the press tried to bring him down with everything they could.
Yet he stayed strong and got through all of that shit and he continued loving people.

Every time Michael says: ‘I love you more!’ , to the fans it really brings me to tears because he loved us as much as we loved him. He was such an amazing human being, always taking care of us.
I’m really sorry that we couldn’t do more for you Michael. So, in behalf of mankind, I’m sorry.

Michael, I just want to let you know that I love you. I will ALWAYS love you. I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, everything you have taught me. Thanks to you I am a better person.

I love you so much King, happy birthday 💜

Saeyoung + children angst

A few quick little angst dabbles for Saeyoung as a continuation of my ‘MC dies at childbirth’-hc’s. Formatting is diffrent because I’m on mobile - Michelle


- He never blamed them for anything
- Does anything for his prince and princess
- But can’t help but feeling sad for your daughter to look so much like you
- Doesn’t spend as much time with her as he does with his boy
- One day, when the twins are 7 years old, he asks if she could help him wash his baby car
- She says that he really doesn’t want her help
- Confused Saeyoung
- Then she says: “It’s okay, I know you hate me, daddy”
- His heart breaks and he asks why she thinks that
- And then she explains that he never really looks at her, gets sad when he does just like when he sees your picture, that he barely talks to her, does all kinds of cool and fun stuff with her little brother
- But most of all because there was this one time when she was looking at pictures of you in a photo album and started yelling at her
- Saying that she could just 'look in the mirror and see the person he loved so much, couldn’t live without and was taking away from him’
- He kicked himself for saying that
- In a way he treated her the same way his mother treated Saeran and it made him sick
- His little girl looked so heart broken in front of him
- They both started to cry
- He promised her to be the best daddy for her that he can be

anonymous asked:

Do you know any fics where Stiles is lonely. Like he's not friends with any of the pack, and just going through life by himself. Or fics where Stiles is just plan lonely? Thanks for trying if you can't find anything.?

Yup! - Anastasia

Originally posted by sterekshelter

I Take The Day Hour By Hour by destimushi

(1/1 I 959 I General I No Pairing)

It’s another typical Saturday for Stiles: cold pizza, lots of documentaries, and disappointment.

Lonely by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 1,541 I General I Sterek)

He let Derek know about the pack, who was dating who, what was going on, if any drastic changes had occurred.

Texting Derek made him feel less alone. It made him feel like Derek was just away for a brief moment on pack duty, and he’d be back any day now—probably falling through his window mortally wounded and bleeding all over his floor. Stiles was positive that one patch of hardwood was just permanently ruined, by this point.

But, to date, no Derek. And so, Stiles texted.

Why’d You Bring A Shotgun? by Tigerion

(1/1 I 1,752 I Teen I No Pairing)

Being in his wolf mode has benefits, like providing people with something they can open up to and Derek uses it to keep a lonely Stiles company on the full moon. Which is something Stiles really appreciates, because no interruptions while talking. All is fine and dandy until the Sheriff comes home to find a very naked Derek Hale in his son’s bed.

memories & scars by Lonelyirises

(5/5 I 2,352 I Mature I Sterek)

Little did Stiles know…

of ignoring problems until they go away by JaneDoe33

(3/? I 2,818 I Mature I No Pairing)

Scott is a good friend.He is.So Stiles has no right to feel abandoned by him.He does his best.Stiles is just being needy.Not that Scott knows.Not that Scott will ever know because if Scott finds out how pathetic he is he may not want to be friends anymore.So Stiles can’t tell anyone.Anyone at all.

Don’t Leave Me by Mr_Carrot

(7/? I 4,496 I Mature I Sterek i Rape)

The Stilinskis’ were on an airplane to Beacon Hills to visit Stiles’ grandparents on his 8th birthday, but he was the only person out of the entire plane who made it. He was taken in by his grandparents, but they died when he was 10. That was six years ago. He is now sixteen years old, adopted by the “not so kind” Theo Raeken. When he finally escapes, he finds his knight in shining armour.

NOT A BEAUTY QUEEN by RougueShadowWolf

(4/? I 6,355 I Not Rated I No Pairing)

It had always been a struggle not to feel like something useless, unwanted or ugly. Stiles couldn’t point out when exactly she’d learned she wasn’t beautiful, it just felt like she’d always been on the ugly-side of things so much so that even her own mother had sighed sorrowfully while saying, `I wish you could be as cute and pretty as Lydia and Heather.´
Not every girl is born to be beautiful, Stiles if anyone knew it.

I thought Ohana meant family by Beck2Beckk

(5/5 I 6,773 I Not Rated I Sterek)

After everything with the nogitsune, Stiles has been left behind in the dust. He has a hard time dealing and with everything that has been building up, coming to its peak, will someone lessen the blow, or will Stiles just blow up completely?

uoy evol I by danthezijn

(5/? I 19,921 I Mature I Stackson)

[06/15, 0:42am] LC: I can say things backwards without thinking about it

[06/15, 0:42am] RRH: you’ll have to prove that 2 me one day

[06/15, 0:43am] LC: maybe I will


Or the one where Jackson is lonely, searches for a friend online, and falls in love. Oh yeah, and he’s good at talking backwards.

Stiles the Strange Pet by TriscuitsandSoup

(23/23 I 62,205 I Mature I Steter)

Peter welcomes a strange new house guest.

A Life for a Life, Makes the Whole World Bound by augopher

(26/26 I 90,697 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles was lonely; there was no other way of putting it. The Nogitsune had left the pack a wary of him, not that they thought it had been his fault. No, they worried it would happen again. Once bitten, twice shy.
The morning after his 18th birthday, his torso was covered in mysterious green tattoos. He hadn’t been that drunk. He’d definitely remember that. Great. Something else to make him feel like a freak. Insomnia led him to his mother’s diary and a tale of how she helped an odd man once who gave her the warning, “Be careful of your wishes three.“ Everything clicked into place.
So…he was a djinni. He subtly changed things about himself. More muscle? Done. Better hair? Done and done. End his crippling insecurity? Done, done, done. He hid his new gift until he found himself bound to Derek.
With Deaton’s help, they translated meanings in his tattoos, but they were incomplete. A passage of his ‘Rules and Regulations’ was missing. Everything was fine dandy until Stiles’ new powers and penchant for mischief and karmic retribution threatened to destroy him, fracture his mind, and turn him into something which couldn’t be contained.
Could the pack save him in time, and at what price?

This is me, for anyone who is wondering. I know I get a lot of messages asking who I am.
I’m a Libra, born on October 9th. I’m 18 years and 7 months old. I’ve been running this blog for 3 years (?) Admittedly, I’ve been off and on with it (fight me).
I just finished high school and college, I was dual enrolled so I graduated with an Associate’s Degree but I am taking a gap year to figure out what I want to do with my life lmao
I am experimenting with running my own business (that’s not why I’m in a tie, I’m pretty casual and down-to-Earth I promise). Basically it’s using social media to help businesses market themselves. So yeah. That’s me.
Oh and I’m a fitness and health nut 😁

#OMG Shocked Emoji You Like Jake?!

Originally posted by hisbanshee

Fandom: Brooklyn Nine Nine

Pairing: Jake (my precious bby) x Reader

Warning: Really brief mention of sexual stuffs 

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/Request: Requested by anon:  Could I have a Brooklyn Nine Nine( imagine or reader insert oneshot thing, your choice) where you grew up with Jake and Gina and you’ve had a crush on Jake ever since you were little and one day, he admits he has feelings for you too? Thanks xxx

Note: Look how much I wrote?! I claim Jake as my muse, he is inspiring, I love him, I want him to marry me…

Keep reading


You guys holy shit. Thank you so so much.

Like real talk here. Earlier this year I was like 2 seconds away from quitting tumblr all together. I had been here for 7 years and nothing ever really came out of being here. Not that I was really expecting it to, but being on tumblr for me was basically just reblogging a random assortment of things that interested me and occasionally posting art. And it just got sort of old after awhile. I didn’t really have any online friends or anything like that.

But then I thought ‘you know what? fuck it. I’m just going to start blogging about Magic. A lot of my life revolves around it anyway and it’s what I want to talk about. And we’ll see if that makes things better.’ I changed my URL to a magic one and gave myself a theme.

And then I started noticing people from this community joking around and having a good time and I decided to try and join in. You were all so welcoming and supportive I honestly couldn’t believe it. I’d never really had online friends before so it was all sort of new to me. And then I noticed that you all had your own wonderful OCs, and while I had made fan characters before, I was always sort of embarrassed by it because I didn’t really hang around a lot of people with fan characters before college. The most I ever REALLY shared with others was kept in private, with the exception of a fiction I wrote in high school, and I never did it again.

At the time I had a vague idea for a character from Amonkhet named Vaset, and although I liked the idea I felt weird about sharing her with anyone. Seeing everyone having fun and being so confident inspired me to share her and I received such a response that I was honestly shocked. Like truly, truly shocked. I’m not sure if anyone really knows the effect that creating and introducing Vaset had for me. I started art pretty late in life so I’ve always felt like I had to work stupidly hard to catch up to everyone else, and I’ve been kicking my own ass trying to be good enough for YEARS and the amount of validation I felt almost IMMEDIATELY from this community knocked me on my fucking ass.

So then I created more characters. I drew comics. I got better at art. I became happier. And you were all so, so supportive. I was pretty depressed before coming to this community because I didn’t really have a lot of friends and my general home life is pretty shitty, and now I’m sitting here crying in front of my computer because in just a few months the people here have made me feel like a real person and a real artist.

Anyway sorry for the long post but I just wanted to let you all know how very very grateful I am to know you all and how much this community has done for me. I love each and every one of you so so much and I’m so very honored to call you my friends.

Asked and Answered: My Mom

Dear President Obama,

I have something verey important to tell you, well my mom had cancer and she went to my school to vote for you with a wheelchair because she wanted you to be President, and she was proud and happy that Day. She is in heaven now and prays for you to be safe and me to.

Your friend,


I am 7 years old like Sasha. by!!

President Obama’s Response

Emily —

Thanks for the wonderful letter. My mom died of cancer too, so I know how you feel. I am sure your mom and mine are both in heaven, and are both proud of you. I am too!

Dream big dreams.

Barack Obama

So last night...

So I was cosplay as Sans last night on Omegle, enjoying myself and playing around with different Undertale fans. I saw like, two dicks. Neither were impressive or wanted. 

But one thing really got me in the heart, and that was a little girl. She didn’t look more then 7…8 years old, right? Real small, braided hair, big eyes and everything.

At first, I started up on the chat with her like I would, making a peace sign and waving, and she literally flipped her shit. She started screaming and giggling and waving at me like, “SANS!! SANS!! Hi!! I didn’t know you were real!!” And all I could literally do was laugh and smile like a dumbass under this hot rubber mask.

So right when I say hi and all the casual Sans things, she jumps up, telling me to wait just a sec and that, “I have something that makes me part skeleton just like you!” She bolts off and I just wait, cause I’m not gonna click off randomly while she’s so excited. She comes back like, five minutes later with a big bottle of ketchup. I start giggling and giving her thumbs up and just- reacting to everything she says!

But then, a wave of protective instinct starts washing over me- Like, even while she’s talking to me, I cant stop listening even when my own girlfriend is calling! ((I’m super sorry about that @strife-kind!)) I start telling myself, “You know, there are a bunch of nasty, horrible people on here who would take advantage of this little girl. Fuck that noise, I’m gonna stay on here till she falls asleep.”

I literally stayed up till 3am talking and chatting with this little girl, and she starts yawning and mumbling and I’m like “Hey, kiddo. It was awesome talking to you- youre such an awesome human kid! But uh- maybe you should head to bed. Kids like you need lots of rest to kill monsters like me.” And she just smiles dopily and nods, before blowing me a kiss and I catch it. She ends the chat, and I go one round around the bend to make sure she’s in bed and not still chatting. She’s not, and I’m happy.

The next person I talk to literally was the cutest kid, looked about 12 years old. He started implying I was in love with Toriel and I, playing along, started blushing and pulled my hood over my head and crossed my arms, the whole thing. He makes me PROPOSE to her and I did! I drew a paper board in bone letters asking if she will marry me, and when “Toriel” said yes, he literally flipped out and started giggling madly. Cutest kid ever. Sorry to say he had to get off before I could wish him a good night, but man…

Protective Sans syndrome just….WOOSH.

Prompt List

Feel free to request any of these!

1. “I should go.”

   “Or you could stay a little longer.”

2. “Emergency dance party?”

3. “Okay, I know I’m evil and all that jazz, but I have standards too.”

4. “I’d punch you, but that’d ruin your perfect face.”

5. “Please remember that I love you.”

6. “You are actually Satan, oh my god.”

7. “Why are you aggressively stripping?”

8. “Wow, I am so in love with you… just wow.”

9. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

8. “(Y/N) no-”

   “(Y/N) YES.”

10. “Listen, do you want to face the wrath of a 7 year old girl?”

11. “I’m fine, stop asking me that.”

12. “I totally let you win.”

13. “Because i’m Batman? Duh?”

14. “Oh, wow… jeez, holy crap, wow you are so pretty.”


16. “I can’t be in love with you! I have a reputation to uphold!”

17. “Accio!”

    “Babe… you’re not actually a wizard.”

18. “Oooh, kinky~.”

19. “Say something!”

20. “You know I can’t do this without you.”

21. “Guess who broke their nose! Me. It’s me. I broke my nose.”

22. “So is this intentional, or…?”

23. “AHHH! Kill it! Kill it! For Christ’s sake kill it!!”

24. “I think I’m adorable.”

25. “I am so lucky to have you. You’re wonderful. I love you. Okay bye.”

26. “I’m sorry, you don’t understand how bad I feel about this.”

27. “Jesus! What the hell, I thought you were dying!”

30. “You’re allowed to be happy, y’know.”

31. “Don’t be alarmed. I’m going to kiss you.”

32. “I’m trying to hate you. I now realize that was a stupid idea.”

33. “You have fanfiction eyes. How is that even possible?!”

34. “Do us both a favour and leave me alone.”

35. “Where do we go from here?”

36. “Off, off, off! You’re getting crumbs on my bed.”

37. “Who do you think you are?”

38. “We did it! We actually did it!”

39. “That’s rough buddy.”

40. “You know I love you, but stop making me into memes.”

41. “I didn’t say KILL him!”

42. “So… this is a date, yeah?”

43. “Did I do it wrong?”

44. “Please don’t leave me.”

45. “I made a promise and I’ll be damned if I don’t keep it.”

46. “Here! Let me kiss it better.”

47. “ ‘Don’t worry,’ you said. ‘It’ll be fine,’  you said.”

48. “I forgive you.”

49. “Haha, suckers!”

50. “Not to be dramatic or anything, but you are literally the most beautiful person that has and will ever walk the Earth.”

51. “Oh nothing, just planning on overthrowing the current king of England.”

“There is no king of England?”

52. “I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting that…”

53. “What is happening right now?”

54. “Wait you were serious?”

55. “Let’s be honest. This isn’t the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.”

57. “Mine.”

58. “Would I ever lie?”

59. “Lets poke it with a stick!”

    “Do NOT poke it!”

60. “Stop looking at me like that.”

61. “Can you please just talk to me like a normal person?!”

62. “Some things are meant to be.”

63. “My hero~!”

64. “Did you just grab my ass?”

65. “You have powers?”

66. “You taste like raspberries.”

67. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see anything.”

68. “If you tell anybody, no one will find your remains.”

69. “C’mon give me a chance!”

70. “I can’t breathe right now!”

71. “Here, take my jacket.”

72. “You’re wrong and I’m gonna prove it.”

73. “I-I’m not c-crying, shut up.”

74. “This was your idea!”

75. “You so owe me for this!”

76. “You’re my soulmate?”

77. “Quick, hide in that closet!”

78. “Shit, that’s a lot of blood…”

79. “I love you, I love you, I love you, oh my gosh I love you!”

80. “Get off your cute ass and help me!”

81. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

82. “I’ve watched every episode of Hell’s Kitchen, of course I know how to cook.”

84. “You just tried to kill me!”

85. “You… you drugged my coffee?!”

86. “Listen, that is definitely not normal.”

87. “Do you miss her?”

88. “Last time I am ever get into the car with you!”

89. “We should totally make out now.”

90. “Come here.”


     “Just come here.”

     “No! You’re gonna do something, I know it!”

91. “For some reason, I’m attracted to you.”

92. “You dared me to!”

     “I didn’t think you’d actually do it!”

93. “You… you wouldn’t understand, okay?”

94. “This is all your fault.”

95. “It’s lonely here without you.”

96. “That wasn’t subtle. Like at all.”

97. “You can’t hide in your room forever.”

98. “Maybe I just really like you!”

99. “You’re my home now.”

100. “Didn’t know you wanted to get into my pants that badly.”

LIGHT YOUR OWN FIRE: How I Went From Being a 1st Generation At-Risk High School Student to UCLA Graduate/Published Co-Author/Psych Masters Student

I’m a 24-year-old first generation Cambodian with a degree in Anthropology from UCLA, multiple co-authored publications, breast cancer research experience, and now I’m currently in pursuit of a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology while learning to code in my free time in hopes that moving forward, I will be able to combine technology with my formal education regarding humans and the human mind—possibly working in the field of Artificial Intelligence. I live near Venice/Santa Monica, drive a stick shift Infiniti, I’m an occasional DJ and amateur baton twirler, I speak multiple languages, I can do handstands and the splits–there’s really nothing that’s outside of my realm of possibilities.

I share my current situation not to brag, but to give you insight on how far I have come…because how I got to this point started as a matter of survival.

Born to two Cambodian immigrants who escaped the Khmer Rouge in their teen years, my life starting out was really challenging.

My parents barely managed to graduate high school…so the best job my mom could get back then was working at Rite Aid. Meanwhile, my father stayed home taking care of me and my older brother. We were really poor, but I was happy—I didn’t know any other way of life.

I spent a lot of time with my father reading books and going to the library. He stressed reading and education to me really early on and in hindsight, I see that it’s because he wanted for me, what he could never have—a college education.

Up until about 7 years old, we lived in not so great neighborhoods around Long Beach, CA before finally moving to the Central Valley. My father’s father passed away so we moved up north to Fresno to be with my 70 year old grandmother. This is when everything started going downhill.

I remember nights when my mother wouldn’t come home, often saying she was staying with my aunt. As a child, I remember being worried, but always unsure why this was happening. It all started to come together for me one morning when my father was driving us to our new school. My mom hadn’t come home the night before which didn’t bother me too much. I was used to her being absent—and when she was around, she wasn’t the nicest person anyways. At a stoplight, in the car next to us, it was my mother in the passenger seat…and an unfamiliar man driving her car.

This is the point that flipped my whole life upside down.

I couldn’t go to school that morning because I didn’t want anyone to see my crying. My dad forced my mom to get in the car and on the way home, he was swerving in anger in attempt to try and kill all of us.

The next morning, I woke up to loud noises in my parent’s room next door. My dad was on a rampage throwing and breaking everything in the room…he even ripped the nailed down lamp off the wall. Then I heard my mother scream, “I don’t want the kids, you can put them in foster care.” I laid there silently, both scared and sad at the time…tears rolling off my face onto my pillow.

This was the breaking point for my parents. My dad was taken to jail and later released and my mom went to stay…wherever it is she would usually go.

Fast forward a year later, my dad won custody of me and my brother and my mother was pregnant with the man in the car’s son. I didn’t see my mom much after that. She never used her visitation rights. But I was happy with my brother, father and grandmother…until my father met my stepmother.

Long story short, he ended up moving away to another town with her when I was in 5th or 6th grade leaving me with my grandmother who didn’t even speak English. On the upside, it made me fluent in Khmer which I am grateful for. But on the downside, I felt abandoned and the world suddenly got really dark. My grandmother favored my brother, not an unusual circumstance in the Cambodian culture, but he would hit me or do other cruel things like read my journal to the boy I liked in school and get away with it. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to commit suicide under these circumstances.

The sad part about all of this was that I was a stellar student. I was in the junior doctor’s academy, I was first chair flute in band, I always got straight A’s…but once my dad left, I stopped caring. I began to question why no one would stick around.

Junior year of high school, I completely gave up. I was in my third year of French, AP Bio and AP US History because I was testing at a high level, but I just stopped going to school. Instead, I was getting drunk wherever I could, with whoever I could every night and sleeping in until the afternoon. I learned quickly that no one was going to do anything about it. The school would call my grandma but she couldn’t understand English…not that I even cared what my grandma would have to say to me. I ended up getting put on home studies for kids who were at risk not to graduate high school which was really funny to me because I knew I wasn’t a true risk. Even on home studies, I couldn’t make it to the once a week sessions with my teacher who would assign homework that was way too easy for me. I continued to party and drink instead.

But one morning, it was like a switch went off in my head that said, “You’re too smart to live like this forever. It’s time to do something.” I went to my home studies teacher and told him I wanted to take the California High School Proficiency Exam so that I could leave high school and start college. He laughed, shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s hard, not a lot a students pass.” When I left, I remember thinking to myself, “Just watch.”

A month later, I managed to behave and not get drunk the night before the test. I was 16 years old at this point. There were three sections to the test: math, verbal and written. All of which were too easy for me. My background growing up with a love for books made me an exceptional writer and test taker. I left the test feeling pretty dandy and carried on normally for next month or so—but I stopped going to school altogether because I was certain I didn’t need to. The evening before the results came out, I was with my best friend, Brittanie, who pretty much saved my life back then just by being my friend because she was the opposite of me—an intelligent, superstar athlete who is now in medical school. But she encouraged me to check the scores online even though I didn’t think they were up yet.

They were in fact ready—and I passed all subjects with nearly perfect scores…and just like that I was done with high school.

From that point to where I am now, it took a lot of grit…I experienced way too many obstacles, but time after time, I was able to overcome them and that’s why I decided to write this article—I want to explain the mindset that it took to get me from abandoned/neglected teen at risk not to graduate high school to UCLA graduate/published author/experienced scientific researcher/Master’s student.

I continue to face obstacles to this day, but one of the biggest challenges I have faced since day one is a lack of support/encouragement. But here is how I deal with it:

I don’t take no for an answer. When one door shuts, I find another one to open. And I don’t stop until I get in. I call it optimistic relentlessness. Take rejection with a smile, move to the next door. Don’t focus on the rejection, focus on the possibilities. 

I don’t give up. I had a mentor once tell me, if you quit one thing, you’ll start to quit everything. So something I tell myself when I’m lifting weights is that I can’t stop the set until I’m ready to cry. I apply this to real life, nothing I protest doing or want to quit is never really that bad…I constantly ask myself, “What happens if I don’t give up?” It’s more rewarding to speak to myself this way rather than just being demanding towards myself. There is quite literally a reward to not giving up. 

I believe in myself even if no one else will.This is the most challenging part of getting to where I am. No one told me to go to UCLA, and I don’t report back to anyone about my accomplishments. I have always had to push myself and that requires igniting a fire within, trusting and believing that I AM capable and that I AM smart. No one thought that I would reach as far as I have, but it’s truly been a matter of telling myself YES I CAN. I shut out all opinions/thoughts and only listen to my own. 

I nourish my mind with positive thoughts, inspiration and knowledge. What keeps my fire blazing is that I find the resources and information I need to get where I need to go. This is driven by a desire to do and be better every single day so that I never fall back to the helpless state I was once in. The key to success is truly education, whether through a formal system or just the internet. I also use my blog as a source of inspiration because the quotes and things I post, I use as inspiration for myself so when I return to my blog, I always have inspiring reminders to keep me going. 

I surround myself with people who are walking similar paths. I learned early on to be around people who are doing the things I want to be doing. Again, it was a matter of survival and I knew finding the right friends was crucial for me to escape a potential future working at a fast food restaurant. I may not have had similar upbringings as most of my friends, but I managed to make quality friends because I put myself in places with people where we had similar end goals. 

I don’t allow negativity in my life. If anyone talks down to me, disrespects me, or makes me feel anything less than great, I walk away. I do not tolerate any kind of negative energy in my life because I experienced enough of that in my early life. This is really adamant because it’s like trying to climb a mountain with heavy weight, if you drop the unnecessary weight, you can climb faster. Negative people/energy = heavy weight. Drop it. Get away from it. Don’t let it come near you! But don’t forget to check yourself either. Words carry energy, whether its talking to yourself or someone else, stay away from the negative energy zone! It’s completely unproductive for you and the world around you. 

I forgive, frequently, very frequently. Similar to the climbing a mountain analogy, holding grudges and being angry at people is imprisoning yourself and is a complete waste of time and energy. I’ve learned to let go of the pain of my past because it held me back so much. I would have meltdowns…often angry about what my parents did and didn’t do. I wasted a lot of time and energy circulating those thoughts…when I finally let them go, I was free. The difference in energy was amazing. I didn’t feel pain or suffering anymore…From then on, I stopped holding grudges because I only want to hold positive, light energy in my soul and to do that, I have to forgive not just other people, but also myself…for not performing better, or forgetting to do something…It’s important to just let things go and keep your focus on your future. The past is over. 

I give thanks to God. I believe there is a higher power that has kept me safe because I truly have good intentions…intentions to serve others and make the world better than when I found it. Whether you believe in a God or not, being grateful always makes life feel abundant. I struggled a lot on my journey, but I always took time to reflect on where I was, the doors that opened for me…I’m eternally grateful that I get to even breathe. The rest isn’t so bad when you realize you could be starving in a third world country or even be dead. But the more I say thank you for even the smallest things, the more blessings I seem to receive, because all of a sudden, everything is like a gift–the front parking spot, the free scoop of ice cream, the dollar on the ground…Plus, a grateful heart is full of joy. The more gratitude expressed, the more joy you will feel…and that joy can take you from being a miserable nobody to being a source of hope and inspiration for the world. 

Who I am now from where I started was and still is an endless series of trial of error. I have achieved so much from where I began, but I worked HARD to constantly adjust my thoughts and I continue to every day because the journey never stops, and the obstacles don’t stop coming. I continue to become better, smarter, wiser and as I look back…I am deeply humbled by the moments of weakness that turned to moments of strength…And at the end of my life, despite all the failures/shortcomings, at least I’ll always know that I was fearless in this lifelong battle.

I wrote this because I truly want to see our society with less struggle and I want to see more people on fire for life…so this is me holding your hand through your journey and cheering you on screaming, “YES YOU CAN!” There is no reason why we can’t all be successful and it starts right now with the thoughts we carry, the mindset that we have…And if you, like myself, want to set fire to other candlesticks, share this knowledge! Share YOUR knowledge. Let’s not keep anyone in the dark…

…because the more fires we light, the brighter the world will be.  

Do You Need Me? Part 3 - Kai Anderson Smut

Pairing - (OC-ish) Kai Anderson/Reader

Warnings - Smut!

Word Count - 2370 

Summary - Kai decides it’s time to tell you why he needs you

A/N – Ok, this is kinda corny and I’m not all that happy with it as this kinda follows the actual show in the ritual type thing, but I felt like that didn’t really fit that well so I changed it up a little (obviously), but now I’m kinda wishing I did it differently, and I’m sorry it’s suuuper late! Ah well, let me know what yous think and I hope you guys enjoy! Also, remember to request stuff! I know I’m a lil behind on my requests atm, but I’m tryna get through them as quickly as I can, so leave me requests (any character/person – I’ll tell you if I don’t write for that/them) for when I finish my current ones😊

Originally posted by firewalksbymyside

Kai kept you glued to his side since the last time you guys hooked up. He made sure you basically ever left his side. He had moved you in to his home and where ever you went, he went. It was cute at first, you thought. But then it started to seriously get on your nerves. You couldn’t go anywhere or speak to anyone without him interrogating you about it later. It was driving you insane. You just needed one night to yourself. So one night (after meticulous planning), you decided to leave, by yourself. For just one night.

You excused yourself from the dinner table and Kai and Winter ad went up to your room, saying you were tired and needed some rest. Both Kai and Winter nodded at you in understanding and said goodnight. You locked your bedroom door and waited until you heard Kai go down into the basement and opened the window as quietly as you could. You swung out of the window and scaled to the edge of the roofing above the porch until you reached the gutting at the edge. You had had a lot of practise at this from when you were a teenager and used to sneak out of your parent’s house in the middle of the night – you knew how to do this quickly and quietly. You climbed down the beam at the edge of the roof silently hopped onto the ground. You were proud of this. You were just a child the last time you had to do something like that. You made your way across the front yard and onto the sidewalk and began to walk into the town in the dead of night.

You were only wearing a short dress with a sweatshirt over the top of it, so you were pretty cold in the chilly night air. You quickly found yourself hugging yourself for warmth. You didn’t really know where you were wondering to, but you knew you only had 2 hours max, as Kai always came to check on you at 10pm to see if you were asleep or not. You were having fun, almost skipping down the street, just you, by yourself. You almost wished Kai could see you know. He didn’t really trust you to do anything by yourself, and you wanted to prove him wrong. But you knew if he could see you now, he would be so angry at you for leaving without you. ‘You could’ve got hurt!’ he would scream at you. ‘What if you got hit by a car? What if somebody took you?’ You rolled your eyes to yourself as you imagined what he would say. He treated you like a child. You knew how to look after yourself!

You made it to the park in the middle of town, but the gate was locked. You climbed over it and began walking down the path in between the towering trees. ‘An hour and 20 minutes left’ you thought to yourself. You wanted to get back there in plenty of time, not wanting to risk getting caught. You found a bench by a fountain and pulled out a cigarette from the box in your sweatshirt pocket, letting the cool breeze blow through your hair as you lit it. You sat there, on that bench for a good 40 minutes, just you and your thoughts, before you glanced up at your watch and realized you had only 40 minutes to get back. ‘Shit’ you thought. It took about 30 minutes to get back to the house and you had to get back in without getting caught yet. You bounded over the fence and out of the park and back out of town, not looking where you were going, just focusing on running. Suddenly, you felt yourself run into a figure. Looking up, you realised you had run into a man.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was g-” You cut yourself off when you realised who it was you had run into.

“Yes. You better had be sorry, Y/N.” Kai said. ‘Fuck’ was the only thing running around in your head now. He grabbed you by your shoulder and bundled you into the back of one of his henchmen’s car. The journey home was silent, but you knew you would be in some deep shit when you got back.

You were right. As soon as you got back, Kai dragged you up the stairs and into your room. He pushed you down onto your bed and you looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You could practically see the anger radiating off him as he frowned down at you. “Kai, I’m…” you began, before you cut yourself off from surprise by kneeling down in front of you. “Little lamb…” Kai began, looking up into your tear-filled eyes. “Why did you try and run away? I was worried sick about you.” He said softly, taking your hands in his. You frowned slightly. Why was he being so nice to you? You expected him to be fuming, to be screaming at you. “I… I wasn’t running away. I was going to come back…I just wanted a little space for a while, that’s all.” You said quietly. “Why do you need space Y/N? Have I done something wrong?” “No, no, no! Of course you haven’t! I just…wanted to be by myself for a bit.” You said, smiling down at him. He sighed, looking down at the ground. “You know I don’t like you going off by yourself Y/N…” You frowned. He sounded just like you dad…when you were 7 years old. “I am an adult, Kai. I can do things by myself. You don’t need to be with me 24/7.” You muttered, just loudly enough for him to hear. “I know, little lamb. I just don’t want my child or his mother getting hurt.” He said, looking up at you. You frowned deeply. “What?” You blurted out. “I’m not pregnant – I can’t be! I’ve been on the pill since before we first-” “No, no, no. You’re not pregnant yet, my sweet Y/N. But you will be, after tonight. I’ve swapped your pill packet with placebo pills after the last time we had sex! You’re the one I’ve chosen to carry my – our child, my heir, my legacy. You’re special Y/N, I knew it the moment I met you, I knew you’d be the one!” He said, a manic grin spread across his face. “No, b-but Kai, I’m only 19, I-I’m not ready to have a baby!” You said, panicked, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Sweet, sweet Y/N. Don’t be scared! Our genes together will create the most perfect child the world has ever seen! Our child will lead us all to glory!” He tried to reason. He was getting really turned on. Seeing you cry like this, your full lips pouting, eyebrows furrowed together lightly, tears trickling down your face – he hated to admit how much this all turned him on. “But Kai, I-I…I can’t do it! I can’t have a baby!” You said sobbed. Kai quickly got up and sat beside you on the bed and pulled you into his side, while you curled into his chest, weeping, no doubt leaving damp patches where your eyes had been. “You said you’d trust me, Y/N. I need you to trust me now, more than ever, okay?” He softly whispered into your ear, stroking your back gently. You paused for a while before pulling away from his chest and looking up into his eyes. “Okay, Kai.” You say, with a weak smile.

The next thing you knew you were wearing this long, old-fashioned looking dress in the basement, sat on the sofa and waiting for Kai. This all felt so weird, so unnatural. But Kai said it was important, so you went along with it. Suddenly, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs and saw Kai, wearing a long white robe thing. ‘What the fuck is going on’ you thought to yourself. You’d never been this nervous to have sex with anyone in your life before. “My child,” He said as he walked past you, so you had your back towards him. “The time of anointing is at hand.” This was the que for you to get up and walk towards the makeshift bed behind the sofa you were sat on. You stood at the foot of it, facing away from Kai and towards the stairs. Suddenly you heard music coming from behind you. I Swear by All-4-One came on, making you frown in confusion then burst out laughing. “What the fuck is this, Kai?” You said between fits of giggles. “This, Y/N, is a holy song now,” he said, smiling at you and taking your hands in his, looking down at you. He had his blue locks tied up in a bun, and God, when he wore his hair like that it turned you on. Just looking at him turned you on. You squeezed your thighs together in anticipation. “From this day forward,” he continued, looking into your eyes, “it shall be played whenever a messiah is conceived.” You smiled at this. You were terrified about having a child, but right now, you could barely contain your excitement of being Kai’s ‘chosen one’, of being the one Kai wants to fuck and carry his child. “Now,” he said. “Let us remove our garments. They will be burned once the sacred copulation is complete.” This made you giggle slightly. Kai was being so funny, so formal, so much more gentle than he normally is. He tore off his rope and you looked down and saw he was already hard. You licked your lips in anticipation, as you slowly slipped out of your dress and stood before Kai as his eyes raked up and down your body. He turned around to grab something from the table just behind him and returned with some oil, with which he drew an ‘X’ on your forehead with. You smiled up at him, biting your lip, trying not to burst out laughing. “You may lay down on the bed now, Y/N.” he said, placing the oil back on the table.

You lay down on the bed, just as he told you to do. You had to admit, as weird as this ritual type thing was, it was kind of turning you on. It was so intimate, so different to how Kai usually fucked you. You slowly spread your legs for him as he groaned and dragged his eyes up and down your body, trying to decide where to focus. He stood above you at the foot of the bed and began to stroke his already hard cock. “You’re so beautiful Y/N. This is why I needed you. This is your ultimate purpose. Do you see how important you are now?” Seeing Kai jerk himself off in front of you like that was turning you on immensely. “Mhmm!” You moaned in response. “Use your words, Y/N…” He groaned. Seeing you at his mercy like this was making him hard like never before. “Yes! Yes, Kai – I see now!” You sighed, desperate for his touch. Finally, he lowered himself on top of you, looking deep into your eyes and kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding across your lower lip, begging for entrance, which you swiftly granted. While he was distracted with the kiss, you snaked your hand in between the two of you and lightly grabbed his cock and began sliding your hand up and down his length. This caused Kai to moan loudly into the kiss and you reacted by slipping your other hand down to your clit, rubbing it in light circles. You were both moaning messes already. Suddenly, Kai pulled away from the kiss and grabbed both your wrists and pinned your head. “This is about you, Y/N.” he said softly, cupping your cheek. Without warning, he suddenly ploughed into you, causing you to bite your lip as to not scream with pleasure. “No, don’t hold it in, baby. Let the whole world know we’re creating the messiah” he said with a raspy voice and closed eyes. He let go off your wrists to move one hand to your clit, and he began rubbing vigorously, making you moan loudly. “Kai! Fuck!” you moaned. “That’s it, Y/N. Let me know how good it feels to be making that baby inside you.” He grunted. His dick slid in and out of you, while one of his hands held both your wrists together above your head, and the other was rubbing your clit like nothing you’d ever felt before. Kai couldn’t believe how sexy you looked like this. Fully exposed to him, each thrust making your tits move up and down. The sight of you made him moan loudly, his dick throbbing inside you. “God, you’re so tight, baby.” He panted above you. “Please, Kai – faster, please!” You cried out, getting closer and closer to your orgasm with each thrust. This sent Kai wild, causing him to relentlessly plough into you, making your pussy contract around him. “Kai, I’m so…close” You panted, about to reach your high. “Just hold one a little longer, Y/N. I want us to…cum…together” He grunted, thrusting into you even harder and faster than before, he fingers still working at your clit. “You let out a loud moan, and this sent Kai over the edge. “Now, Y/N” He said shakily. You felt Kai twitch inside you, as you let go and felt his hot seed shoot inside you while you juices poured over his cock and down your thighs. “Fuck!” He groaned as you screamed, your high hitting you like never before.

“Well done, little lamb” Kai said, collapsing beside you, as you curled into his chest. “Thank you, Kai” You said, looking up at him with tired smile and big, tired eyes. He looked down at you and smiled at you, genuinely happy. You would soon be one little family. “So, this is why you needed me all along?” You wondered out loud, snuggling into Kai. “Yes, Y/N. I told you all along you were the one I needed the most.”