i want to go home & get drunk

Types of Drunks
  • *Check Jupiter, or 11th House
  • Aries: The Frat Boy-Type. Kinda always trying to bone someone before the end of the night. Pounded like, 20 beers. Probably wakes up with someone they thought was hotter/prettier when drunk.
  • Taurus: Ditzy-Drunk Type. Girl who constantly compliments you and leans on your boyfriends shoulder and basically flirt w/ everyone and asks shit like "What's Aleppo?"
  • Gemini: Toilet-Hugger. You don't *usually* get drunk, but tonight you did. At first you were socializing, and somehow, you ended up hunched over the toilet puking. You havent left. Your bestfriend almost puked in your hair. One time, she did.
  • Cancer: Expresso Depresso. "No, I don't always drink when I'm sad." You kinda just came to the party to "escape". You don't want to be here, and in every movie EVER, you find some goth bitch to complain about existence with. That, or you're in a bar wanting to die cause your wife left you. Your choice, i guess.
  • Leo: Game Maker. You're the asshole who suggests 7 Minutes in Heaven, Truth or Dare, and other shitty games at middle school parties where someone found some Mike's Hard Lemonade. You still get drunk off of the shit, too. Somehow.
  • Virgo: Socialite. You don't really get drunk. You just get buzzed, and go home. You talk to everyone and anyone, and get as many numbers as possible. You're quite the hook up when it comes to some drugs at a party, though.
  • Libra: Hoe. You're the girl who compliments everyone and smiles at everything. You also basically wanna suck someone's dick before the night ends. Who's? Idk.
  • Scorpio: Dirty Dancer. Someone complained about there "being too many clothed people" at the party. So, you took your clothes off, threw them at the person, and began dancing. Truly a Titty Hero.
  • Sagittarius: Drunk "Driver". You're the guy who suggests they go on an adventure, or brought tons of booze to do some really illegal shit. As a kid, you literally drank just because "if we're doing something illegal, may as well do two!!"
  • Capricorn: Bartender. Nobody really appointed you bartender. Nobody really asked, either. But, nobody is complaining. You make the best booze, and the more YOU drink, the funnier, quicker, and cuter the drinks are made. By the end of the night, the drink counter looks a bit like a Scorpio's room -- clothes all over the floor in order to mop some mysterious liquid up.
  • Aquarius: Royal Rebel. Drink the keg. Bring the big ass case of booze. Make some kid puke. And then do it again. Dare devil galore, and kind of an asshole about it. That, or stays in the corner like they may make the party into a murder scene. One or the other.
  • Pisces: Just like Taurus, but also drinks twice her weight and probably asks "Where's the weeeeeeEEEeeedd???" 20 times.
Various Sentence Starters

“I love how you NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME”

“No I won’t stop stapling tortillas to the wall this is ART”

“Your underwear is really ugly, you should take them off”

“Last time you wanted to watch a horror movie you cried all night and didn’t sleep for three days”

“Knock knock! …Knock knock…? Okay I swear I won’t say banana again”

“I swear to drunk I’m not God”

“My doctor said you shouldn’t drink after taking meds, so I take them WITH alcohol”

“I know I haven’t showered in a week but I saw a spider in the tub and LOST IT”

“hELLO!! tHe mOST impOrTANT PERSON IS HOME!!!”

“Yeah can I get 20 mcdoubles. Yeah, 20. Two zero.”

“Okay you could go to work but get this, how about instead- you don’t and stay in bed with me”

“It’s not a fetish until you have a Deviantart collection for it”

“Mini horses make me so uncomfortable, I want them to be normal sized”

“I’m gonna make dinner so go ahead and have the fire department and pizza hut on speed dial”

“Oh yeah I’ve totally done- uh- weed. I love gardening”

“It’s not an obsession it’s a keen interest- I don’t care if I have three body pillows it’s a KEEN INTEREST”

“Maybe if I just ignore them they’ll stop trynna kill me”

“I’ll just put this fire over here with the rest of the fire”

“Can you believe that people actually ENJOY coleslaw?? What savages”

“First time I kissed a boy was the time I realized I was probably homosexual”

“It’s not gay if it’s for art”

“I like you but in the ‘please shut up for five seconds’ way”

“Let’s get fake ID’s and buy fish from Petco”

“I brought home a kitten, her name is Mary Lious Ann Kate the Third”

“I just hate the word moist, it makes me so uncomfortable”

“Starbucks is so overpriced let’s go get a frap”

"Being Fuckable Does Not Mean Being Date-able." [Dylan O’brien] Pt. 1

THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS GUYS!!!! This is probably the last request I’ll ever do. And it’s from a long time ago. Sorry. Requests kind of give me writers block because of the certain plot that has to go with it so forgive me if I never got to yours, but enjoy this last one because after this I will just write what comes to mind! MY BOX IS STILL OPEN FOR COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS THOUGH!!! 


anon: Heyyy buddy I think you writing is amazing could you do one where the reader is drunk and at a party Dylan had to take her home and she accidentally tells him that she likes him then the morning after he confronts her about it.

My eyes were very focused on my ipad settled below my chin. Laying on my stomach, I felt my shoulders begin to cramp. I grabbed my ipad and laid my back on the pillows trying to desperately finish the story before I start to get ready for my plans later. I had a guilty pleasure, it was reading dirty stories, Dylan somehow never teased me about it, but from time to time he did laugh a little. 

“Are you reading smut again?” Dylan’s voice rang through my ears. I forgot he was beside me now curiously looking over to see what I was doing. 

“Yes and?” He put his hands up in defense as his eyebrows worked their way closer to each other.

“Nothing Rachel Green.”

“Shut up Joey.” I said responding to his ‘Friends’ reference, the episode where Joey found out Rachel was reading a dirty book. My eyes scanned the paragraphs as I was trying to get back to where I was, “How come you read smut when you literally can get sex whenever you can, “

My attention was very much now on him already knowing what was coming. His eyes wandered and paused directly at my lips. It’s like he realized his stare was starting to affect me that he tilted his eyes back to mine.

“Uh, what I mean is that I’ve seen you do it.” He explained in order for me to not interpret it wrong.

Was he serious? Well because Dylan, you are my best friend, and when I read these books I picture you in them with me but I know fucking your best friend would be weird for you. 

That’s what I should of said, but instead the words jumbled up into,

 “Because it’s entertaining to see the climax and story of the couple right before they fuck, and even staying for the resolution after.” I stated, not even bothering to look at him any longer with the intent of wanting to jump every bone of his body as I kept reading further.

I could see his hands intertwining together as both of them were playing around with each other between his legs. His eyes kept directing at me as if waiting for me to answer sincerely.

“Okay because I have needs Dylan! Did you really want me to say that I get horny a lot?” I rolled my eyes as his smile plastered pure satisfaction after I fezzed up.

“But horny of what? Just go have sex? There’s something you’re not telling me here.” He paused.

 “Better yet,  just fuck me.” he shrugged. He always flirted as a joke so casually  and it irritated the hell out of me. 

For us, saying, ‘fuck me’ is a regular one on one jokingly flirting with each other thing. We always joke sexually but lately it was becoming hard for me to just act like I didn’t want him to pound into me. I had it bad for my ‘best friend’. 

These love stories with smut in them focused on two things I wanted most, Dylan’s affection and his- well, dick. I didn’t want to be just friends anymore, I wanted something real with him. I read the cliche wattpad books with the plot of best friends falling for each other, pathetic in my situation, believe me, I know.

“No.” I rolled my eyes for the second time hinting at him to stop and wasn’t in the mood for casual jokes.

“You wouldn’t fuck me?” His hand went over his chest pretending to be insulted. I was getting really sick of this, I was ready to snap. He wanted to play? Alright Let’s play.

I pressed the button on the corner of my ipad for it to rest, I could feel stare behind me as he watched me place it on the night stand. All the attention was on him now,

“You know, what? I wouldn’t mind doing something right now. And since you keep interrupting me..” His curious eyes followed my actions.

“Let’s have sex.” I could of sworn that if he had water right now he would spit it right out. His eyes were left in shock to what I had just mentioned which caused me to smirk. I never responded to his jokes, I usually just laughed or rolled my eyes, but it was annoying me now. He needed to learn a lesson.

 After several rapid blinks he managed to let out a stutter, “I- do you like me?” A huge smile on his face suddenly appeared, His hand started to caress my cheek. Did he think I was joking?

His question caught me by surprise so I stepped back a little. I was terribly afraid of his rejection. If he didn’t feel the same way, everything would be ruined. 

“What? No!” I laughed it off, “Dylan, I said I would fuck you, because let’s admit it, you are hot. But an emotional attachment? Hell no. You’re my best friend?” That is not what I wanted to say at all, but I did not want to be humiliated. His face dropped and went back to a careless expression, his eyes turned darker and they broke contact with mine as his hand extracted from my face.

“Being fuck-able does not mean being date-able.” I leaned forward as I made my way across him. My legs were now snaking around his waist as he was sitting down gasping at my every movement as I sat down on him quickly.

 “What’s wrong? Tired of all the sexual jokes?” My lips whispered into to his ear. “Cause I am.” I said lower, “You should put them to the test.” Just as I was about to lean a tad bit close to his lips, his hands grabbed my chin and stopped me.

“Can you just drop it? I get it, I got a taste of my own medicine.” He grabbed my arms in a careful way but shoved me softly off him. He was heading out of my door, as he turned around not even looking at me, suddenly he had such interest in his phone. It’s what he does when he’s mad or annoyed. He avoids eye contact with me and goes on his phone/

“Don’t forget we planned a night out today, I’ll come by at eight.”

And with that he rushed out of my house leaving me utter shock. What was with the sudden attitude? His cold answers really started to made me wonder if I made him uncomfortable with my reaction. He has rejected to fuck me? Of course I wasn’t going though with it but he left before I finished.

It stung so bad. As if I wasn’t good enough to have sex with? My ego was getting to me but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed of this whole situation. He thought he got a taste of his own medicine? He hasn’t seen the half of it. He wasn’t getting away with embarrassing me that easy.

**

Four hours later passed and It was almost eight. I made sure to look extra tonight, cause I was an extra bitch. The knocks on the door soon startled me. He came twenty minutes later than he said but I was okay with it.

 He was moody again. He stood a few more seconds at the door, “are we leaving?” still typing on his phone.

“Yes, i just need to get my purse and put on lipstick. Are you just gonna stand there and wait?” His eyes shot up and once he got a hold of the sight, he stared up and down at me. I was wearing a short black tight dress as my black heels complimented it. My hair was straightened, and I hardly straighten it. I go more for the curls usually. My make up was the same yet I added wing eyeliner.

He gasped for about ten seconds as he moved his hand up on down his lip. “Why are you wearing that?” He quickly rushed to my couch as he grabbed a cushion and somehow put it on his lap. He was fidgeting a bit, a normal person wouldn’t notice but I just paid too much attention.

“I’m going to try to get fucked tonight, you’re right. I shouldn’t be reading things about it I should just go get the real thing.” I replied coldly.

“You know I was kidding about that. Read all the porn you want.” He winked playfully.

“Cute.” I laughed mockingly. His expression turned cold again as he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Um I’m going to wait in the car.” 

“Kay.” This time I didn’t bother to look back as he left to his car. His annoying mood swings were getting on my nerves.

When we got to the club, Dylan’s grip was hesitant, as if he didn’t want to let me go and enjoy myself. “Let’s go dance!” His eyes landed on my dress again, “ Yeah let’s not. Let’s go get a drink or two first.” His grip was still on my waist.

I could see his protective side coming out, and it was irritating to say the least. “Fine.” I fake smiled to show him I was annoyed. 

Six shots later, it was finally kicking in. I was already heading to the dance floor, I could tell Dylan was watching from a far. His eyes rolled so far back every time he saw me interact with a guy, it was ridiculous.

It didn’t take long before he saw I was a little too drunk that I couldn’t keep up with my feet. “Alright, we should go now.”  He gently intertwined my arm with his as he took us to the exit. 

“Dylan! I was about to get some tonight, now they’re going to think you’re like my boyfriend and not want to talk to me!”

“Good.” He lead us towards his car. “How much did you drink?” I asked as we both got inside.

“I drank other beverages, I’m the designated driver remember.” He said harshly. I didn’t say one word to him the whole ride home, but I could tell we were going to his since it was closer. He was being so rude that every time he spoke, my heart ached a bit more.

The silence wasn’t awkward, he knew when something was bugging me so he just doesn’t add to it.

When the car stopped at his house I was afraid of facing him because there was a tear that escaped my eye and I swiped it quickly off. if I said anything he would still notice because of my shaky voice.

“Y/N.” His voice said from a distance but I blocked it out as I kept looking down at my shoes.

“Hey Y/N. Are you crying?” Dylan scooted closer as he cupped my cheeks. 

“You’ve been so distant this whole day after I made a move on you. I mean I get it, we’re best friends and you’d never go for more than that. You’d never love me the way I love you, but the fact that you don’t see me as a desirable person? It’s worse than punching me in the face.”

 I felt my sadness overcome me as my sleepiness mixed with it. My eyes started to close as my tears still kept streaming out.

“And it hurts Dylan.” I managed to say in my sad, sleepy voice. “It hurts so much because I want to be your everything, and seeing you that disgusted of me just teared me.” And sleep soon consumed my brain I was out with my as the water droplets from my eyes barely started to dry. Guess crying yourself to sleep is a real thing?

Dylan however was very much awake. He was speechless, and he was positive I wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning.

The confronting will be in the second part!

How crazy is it to find the love of your life at 18 years old. Some may call it stupid to say such a thing, that there’s “no way you can know what love is at such a young age”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that very sentence, there are so many different variations of the phrase, are you sure you don’t want “the college experience”, “honey don’t tie yourself down, you’re so young”, and my personal favorite “well be realistic it probably won’t work out, but there’s plenty of fish in the sea”. Yes, I get it I’m young, but I don’t think age has anything to do with being able to determine the amount of love you have for someone. Honestly I think that college students can be far more in love than 90% of the middle aged married people I know. Because no I don’t want “the college experience” if it means going out, getting fucked up, and waking up either alone or next to a different person every night. I would rather go out with the person I love, stumble home drunk together laughing uncontrollably, crawl into our bed and fall asleep in the arms of the same person every night. Loving you in my college years meant, you were my girlfriend, my early mornings, my late nights, my study partner, coffee house date, my pillow no matter where we went, and most importantly my best friend. Tying myself down with you means always having someone in a time where everything around me is changing, because loving in college means being head over heels for someone, it’s the kind of love that is all consuming, that takes your breath away, and makes you think that there’s good in your world, when it’s filled with test after test, hours of studying, worrying about how you’re gonna work enough to pay your bills and still make it to class on time. You are a breath of fresh air. We love fully, whole-heartedly, and with nothing to lose. She is contagious. In the year I’ve spent loving her I have become a better me than I ever thought I could have been. I’ve laughed, smiled, and felt more love in the 370 days I have known her than I have in years. And then comes the time where we’ve just graduate college, moved into a tiny, crappy, little apartment, but that small space is filled with more love and laughter than one could ever hope for. I wake up and go to sleep next to the love of my life everyday, and it’s like living with my best friend. We spend our days exploring, we’d rather spend money on experiences, than things. Our nights are spent building forts, binge watching Criminal Minds, curled up in OUR bed. Life is good, good with you. So yeah maybe it won’t work out, maybe I’m crazy, but I’m crazy in love and I think that the best kind of crazy there is.
—  500 words on being in love in college.
Break-up Novella.

PART FOUR: IT’S JUST GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE |

I’m not 100% on this specific part of the Break-Up Novella bit I felt like I needed a filler part in between Parts 3 and 5. I promise you, Part 5 will be filled and it’ll be better and we’ll see their relationship really get better. There may or may not be a cheeky smut scene at the end, as well as the cutest scene I think I’ve ever written in my life. 

I’m really iffy on this part, so, I apologise in the horrendous flow. I really tried to work through it, I can promise you, haha. Chances are, I will come back to this a really re-do it to fit the novella properly. I lost all inspiration for this section and I’m so unsure as to why. I think I’ve just been SO excited to write the final part because I hate it when the missus and Harry fight because I just love them and I’m rooting for them SO hard… :(((

Enjoy! xx

Keep reading

STRANGER THINGS SENTENCE MEME

episode 001-004.

  • ‘something’s coming. something hungry for blood.’
  • ‘wait a minute. did you hear that?’
  • ‘we’re in deep shit!’
  • ‘don’t be a pussy!’
  • ‘just twenty more minutes!’
  • 'yeah, she’s turning into a real jerk.’
  • ‘the cause of the power outage is still unknown.’
  • ‘he came home last night, right?’
  • ‘that’s disgusting.’
  • ‘do it, freak!’
  • ‘it’s like you have superpowers or something.’
  • ‘we just made out a couple times.’
  • ‘i’ll climb through your window. she won’t even know i’m there.’
  • ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation.’
  • ‘he’s not like that. he wouldn’t do that.’
  • ‘the entire east wing will be evacuated within the hour.’
  • ‘she can’t have gone far.’
  • ‘you think you can steal from me, boy?!’
  • ‘this isn’t some lord of the rings book.’
  • ‘do i make myself clear?’
  • ‘is that why you ran away?’
  • ‘you gotta answer a few of my questions first.’
  • ‘all i know is that she’s scared to death.’
  • ‘you think we got a problem here?’
  • ‘we should be helping look for him.’
  • ‘i always had a distaste for science.’
  • ‘i always figured there was enough going on down here, i never needed to look elsewhere.’
  • ‘this is crazy.’
  • ‘smile looks good on you.’
  • ‘we’re not going back.’
  • ‘i know i haven’t been there for you.’
  • ‘i don’t even barely know what’s going on with you.’
  • ‘i should’ve been there for him.’
  • ‘this was not your fault.’
  • ‘do you guys hear that?’
  • ‘is that blood?’
  • ‘you’re freaking her out!’
  • ‘this is mental.’
  • ‘she’s probably a psycho.’
  • ‘and tomorrow night, we go back out.’
  • ‘hey, um… i never asked your name.’
  • ‘i can’t eat.’
  • ‘you can’t get like this, okay?’
  • ‘we’ve been waiting six hours.’
  • ‘we’ve been searching all night.’
  • ‘he was scared.’
  • ‘if he sees the cops, he’ll think he’s in trouble. he’ll hide.’
  • ‘he’s good at hiding.’
  • ‘cops are good at finding.’
  • ‘you’re in trouble, aren’t you?’
  • ‘they want to hurt you? the bad people?’
  • ‘just stay here, okay? stay here.’
  • ‘what do you say? are you in or out?’
  • ‘oh god… that’s depressing.’
  • ‘i just wanted to say, you know, um… i’m sorry about everything. everyone’s thinking about you.’
  • ‘he’s a smart kid.’
  • ‘all that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin, and we can focus on what really matters.’
  • ‘pretty.’
  • ‘just trust me, okay?’
  • ‘i’m so sick of your excuses.’
  • ‘he’s not coming, is he?’
  • ‘you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to.’
  • ‘i don’t know where my boy is. he’s gone.’
  • ‘did you see him? last night? on the road?’
  • ‘i’m not mad at you.’
  • ‘is everything okay?’
  • ‘promise.’
  • ‘i need you alive for the next few days, at least.’
  • ‘missing kid, suicide… you must feel like a big city cop again, huh?’
  • ‘are you out of your mind?!’
  • ‘i think she knows what happened to him.’
  • ‘do you know where he is?!’
  • ‘stop it! you’re scaring her!’
  • ‘that boy was never very good at taking care of himself.’
  • ‘why am i just hearing about this?’
  • ‘it’d be super weird if i’m not there…’
  • ‘it’s just a loud noise. it’s okay.’
  • ‘they won’t tell anyone about you. they promise.’
  • ‘we wouldn’t have upset you if we knew you had superpowers.’
  • ‘what is “friend”?’
  • ‘you promised that you’d go.’
  • ‘we’re gonna have a great time.’
  • ‘he just wants to get into your pants…’
  • ‘make sure i don’t get drunk and do anything stupid.’
  • ‘you ever feel cursed?’
  • ‘hey, come back inside.’
  • ‘you are a cliché, you do realise that?’
  • ‘yeah, she’s smart, you douche!’
  • ‘you’re bleeding.’
  • ‘just go ahead and go home, okay?’
  • ‘jesus, you scared me!’
  • ‘i didn’t think it’d be a big deal.’
  • ‘you can talk to me.’
  • ‘nothing happened.’
  • ‘you need to stop this, okay?’
  • ‘people are looking for him and they’re going to find him.’
  • ‘can you just try and get some sleep? can you do that for me?’
  • ‘you seriously think that the weirdo knows where he is?’
  • ‘if there is something out there, i’m gonna shoot it in the eye - and blind it.’
  • ‘use your powers, okay?’
  • ‘if you get hungry, eat his snacks, okay?’
  • ‘i know the kid’s not in there, but i gotta check off this box.’
  • ‘no one breaks in here. certainly not some kid.’
  • ‘who’s in charge here?’
  • ‘science doesn’t make any damn sense to me.’
  • ‘i seriously have no idea who you’re talking about.’
  • ‘he’s in danger.’
  • ‘he’s dead.’
  • ‘i’m a dick.’
  • ‘he must really have something to hide.’
  • ‘yeah, this isn’t creepy at all.’
  • ‘this is called stalking.’
  • ‘that’s the thing about perverts. it’s hard-wired into them. you know, they just can’t help themselves.’
  • ‘maybe she freaked out when you went all psycho on the psycho.’
  • 'why did they hurt you?’
  • ‘friends tell the truth.’
  • ‘i understand.’
  • ‘tell me what to do.’
  • ‘i think something happened. something terrible.’
  • ‘this is CIA-sanctioned research.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that there’s some grand conspiracy. i’m just saying maybe something happened.’
  • ‘maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and he saw something that he shouldn’t have.’
  • ‘hiding.’
  • ‘don’t waste your time with her.’
  • ‘we are not calling the cops!’
  • ‘please tell me it’s not the kid.’
  • ‘you were supposed to help us find him alive.’
  • ‘why did you lie to us?’
  • ‘what is wrong with you?’
  • ‘whoever you found is not my boy.’
  • he was hiding from that thing.’
  • ‘you’ve gotta stop this…’
  • ‘you’re talking about grief.’
  • ‘i swear to you, i know what i saw. and i’m not crazy.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that you’re crazy.’
  • ‘i need you to believe me.’
  • ‘i want you to try and get some sleep, if you can.’
  • ‘can you please stop that?’
  • ‘i thought we were friends, you know? but friends tell each other the truth.’
  • ‘you hurt me.’
  • ‘are you sure you’re gonna be alright here by yourself?’
  • ‘screw his funeral!’
  • ‘yeah, okay, but why didn’t you just talk to me? that’s crazy.’
  • ‘i don’t know… i was scared.’
  • ‘my parents are gonna murder me!’
  • ‘this is not an okay time for you to shut down.’
  • ‘maybe he’s haunting us.’
  • ‘he’s out there somewhere. all we have to do is find him.’
  • ‘you look pretty good.’
  • ‘we just talked.’
  • ‘the troopers are on duty and you should be safe because we think this is just an isolated incident.’
  • ‘remember, if anyone sees us, look sad.’
  • ‘do you think you can open it?’
  • ‘abort.’
  • ‘she’s missing and something terrible happened to her. i know it! and no one is listening to me!’
  • ‘just leave me alone!’
  • ‘pull me out! pull me out!’
  • ‘what? who is interested in this? this is so stupid.’
  • ‘mouth-breather.’
  • ‘i think that’s a real messed up thing to do.’
  • ‘grief shows itself in funny ways.’
  • ‘i shouldn’t have come here today.’
  • ‘she’s smart. she’s real smart.’
  • so why are you lying to me, man?’
  • ‘what’s your problem, bud?’
  • ‘stick your nose someplace else.’
  • ‘thanks for ruining the game, dick.’
  • ‘you’re gonna get us both killed!’
  • ‘she’ll find him.’
  • ‘i need you to find him.’
  • ‘hurt him?’
  • ‘i i guess i’d rather observe people than, you know…’
  • ‘jesus, the hell happened?’
13 Reasons Why Preference - Drunk

A/N: What they’d be like when they’re drunk.

Hannah Baker

Hannah would, without a doubt, be a very “proud” drunk. Once she’s had enough to drink, she has no problem showing you off. She will literally shout how much she loves you to the whole party or any one that will listen. 

Clay Jensen

I just feel like Clay would be, kind of, an insecure drunk, like he thinks that every guy in room is flirting with you and will probably get all sad because he thinks he’s going to lose you. Which will probably end up with you driving him home and him rambling in the car about not wanting to lose you.

Justin Foley

He would definitely be an overly touchy drunk. Wherever you were, he’d just pull you into his arms and wouldn’t let you go under any circumstances.

Zach Dempsey

Zach would probably spend the night just denying he was drunk, usually stumbling while he insists.

Alex Standall

Alex would, sort of, turn into like a baby. He’d just be babbling incessantly, making literally no sense.

Jessica Davis

Jess would totally be an emotional drunk, like the slightest thing would cause her to burst into tears, either that or she wouldn’t be able to stop giggling, like she found anything anyone said to be utterly hilarious.

Jeff Atkins

Jeff would absolutely be a reckless drunk, I’m talking like thinking he can fly and jumping off the roof kind of reckless. He’ll think he’s superman and try and fly and do loads of crazy, reckless things before someone convinces him to stop or go home.

Tony Padilla

Tony doesn’t get drunk often but when he does, he is definitely a sad drunk. I mean, he’d probably just be in a corner, like sobbing into his drink until someone took him home.

Montgomery De La Cruz

I feel like Monty would be a very angry drunk. Like he wouldn’t care who it was, he’d just pick a fight with anyone.

The thing about Damianos Akielos is that he is a Hot Commodity. There’s probably a 30 page waiting list out there of people who want a chance to date him. The only problem is that since the age of fourteen, he’s never been single for more than a week. A week!

“He sounds great,” the bartender says, polishing a glass. Laurent realises that he’s been speaking out loud. He is drunk. He also realises that this bartender - Rick, or Mick, or Mike, or whatever his nametag says, words are a little blurry at this point - doesn’t realise the magnitude of the situation at hand.

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Types of Drunks

*Check Jupiter, or 11th House

Aries: The Frat Boy-Type. Kinda always trying to bone someone before the end of the night. Pounded like, 20 beers. Probably wakes up with someone they thought was hotter/prettier when drunk.

Taurus: Ditzy-Drunk Type. Girl who constantly compliments you and leans on your boyfriends shoulder and basically flirt w/ everyone and asks shit like “What’s Aleppo?”

Gemini: Toilet-Hugger. You don’t *usually* get drunk, but tonight you did. At first you were socializing, and somehow, you ended up hunched over the toilet puking. You havent left. Your bestfriend almost puked in your hair. One time, she did.

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It is strange, that men are so easily familiar with telling girls what we want. A narrative that seemed unshakable, a golden crown that touched any head who wanted our satisfaction.

Girls want jerks. They care too much about cars and looks.

our love of cars has nothing to do with men; a corvette has never made me want to sleep with someone when i could be driving. we develop methods of avoiding the predators; call them fuckboys, tell her not to answer. We develop a single look shared between two girls; an immediate stay back or i’ll step in if you need help that comes in the shadow of shallow men. and those of us who fall for the wrong man: we never dreamed our lives would be full of this, our love turning bitter - and we’re blamed for it.

Girls don’t want nice guys.

I am dating a genuinely kind person when I’m told this. when he approached me in the library he was banking on hope; becomes angry in the moment i refuse him gently. i watch him transform and i’m trapped by the desk: he goes from nice to cruel in a matter of seconds. he tells me i’m ignorant, that he could have been there for me, been there until the end. he doesn’t need to meet my boyfriend. i’m just incapable of making my own decisions because of my silly hind brain that belongs to all women. It is the first exchange I have with him and the last one. i am now a “dumb bitch” forever on his list, sadly “one of them” even though frankly i don’t mind it.

drunk girls are asking for it.

drunk girls have to have perfect habits; go out in pairs together, tell each other goals and secrets, promise at the start of the night that they’ll be going home together even if the other one has to pick up the pieces. count liquor in secret codes, say, i’m just going to the bathroom with my girl so later we can say i just want to go home; drunk girls get caught and when we say do you want him they say no, take me home, i do not.

girls just want someone who compliments them.

he follows her from class to class, eyes wide but mouth never speaking. he texts her under the desk and i see her shudder, just a little, but visibly. later when we’re drunk we’ll laugh about how he talks about her glorious titties but for now he’s posting on facebook about how women are shallow and know nothing. in the meantime, i watch her flinch every time she meets his eyes. in the last message he sends, he tells her, fine bitch, you were ugly the whole time and i never meant any of it. later on his blog he’ll talk about how he hates these stupid women.

girls in tight clothes are flaunting it. 

girls just want to get home in one piece. we wear baggy clothes and are harassed for being slovenly in the same train station that we were harassed for looking nice for a moment. we stand just a little closer to each other when the words start coming. men look at videos of women being catcalled and they scoff and say, can you blame him? and are surprised when we say, yes, i can, they tell us that they know what we mean when we wear a black turtleneck. what we mean? we just want to get home in this.

girls want an alpha male. girls want someone who puts them in their place. girls want a real man, girls want an asshole, girls want violence.

girls don’t believe in the alpha male myth because girls spent too much time studying wolves from middle school to college; girls would rather be a wolf than put up with this. girls believe their place is just where they are, for as long as they want to belong there; girls are quite fine making their own place; girls would like their place to be the white house. girls want girls. girls want someone who will love them, the way most people do. they just want to be alive and have a good time of it. 

but then, i don’t know if all girls do. because we’re not one hind brain, not one orb of desire that can be cracked by following an equation that someone developed by making up rules; put in nice, use compliments, send dick pic and hope she falls in love with you. there’s no right way and that’s the fact of it. treat us like we’re people. like we each want different things. like we have something new called a personality.

“I know what women want,” the man announces, “trust me.”

When did you become my enemy?

Big Fucking Mess

Everything is just turning into a big fucking mess for Harry and Y/N. Things were supposed to be complication free, right?

This was requested: Can we have a FWB blurb? plot twist your a virgin and just want a FWB fling with harry and soon you two developed feelings for each other. 

It will also most definitely have a part two up soon-ish (: 

My Masterlist

   Drunk. You were incredibly drunk. The world was spinning but in that nice, floaty way that made you smile at everything. Harry wasn’t too far behind you, his words slurring and his head resting on your shoulder every few minutes or so. 

   The bride and groom had already shared their slow dance together, and now the dance floor was full of people grinding and laughing loudly. You watched as everyone squeezed together onto the small space. Usually, you would be out there bumping and grinding like the rest of your friends, celebrating the brand new bride and groom to the fullest. Tonight, for some reason, you were perfectly, drunkenly content with sitting next to Harry in the large booth that was now abandoned by everyone except for the two of you. 

   You looked over to see him watching the people dancing as well. His green eyes were glazed over, and there was a smile at the corner of his lips. You poked the dimple that was subtly showing and he turned his gaze to you. 

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The Anti-Valentine’s Day Party

It’s heeeeeere. Happy Valentine’s Day @myst-l-vie​ from your no longer secret valentine! Fluff is not my strong suit but hopefully you enjoy this. <3

Read on Ao3 

-x-

“You’re still coming to the party tonight, right?”

Emma rolls her eyes, stabbing at her phone to put it on speaker and tossing it onto her passenger seat. “I’m just leaving the liquor store. Yes, I’ll be there,” she assures Ruby, carefully placing the bag of booze on the passenger side floor with a pleasant clinking of bottles.

“Is Elsa coming with you?”

Emma wrinkles her nose, clicking her seat belt into place and shoving the keys into the ignition. “She’s doing something with Liam.”

“Killian’s brother Liam? When did that happen?”

“Like a week ago? Killian forgot his jacket, and his brother was with him when he stopped by the apartment. Elsa was doing yoga in the living room. Apparently they go to the same studio, but he goes on Tuesday and she goes on Wednesday, and they just started going on and on while Killian and I stood there staring at them like the insane people they are. They decided to go together on Monday, and I sort of haven’t seen much of her since.”

“Huh.” Ruby’s surprise is evident in her response, but then she adds, “Wait, Killian forgot his jacket? How does someone forget their jacket when it’s negative ten?”

Emma groans, because she knows this tone of voice, and she knows exactly how Ruby is going to react. “I might have been wearing it, and I fell asleep.”

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Zach Imagine #5

Slight trigger warning at the end, regarding car crashes.

-

“I love you,” he said. 

“You’re drunk,” I sighed.

“I love you.”

“You don’t love me, you love the idea of me. There’s a difference.” Now let me tell you the story of everything that lead up to this point.

-

Zach had been dating this girl for months, her name was Carrie. She was the perfect girl in Zach’s eyes. She was a cheerleader, she had blonde hair, she was short, she knew how to put on make up, all the good things. So when she broke up with him. He was devastated. So devastated that he took me, his best friend who is so deeply in love with him, to a party. 

I have been in love with Zach for the longest time. He was the best friend I could ever have, and somehow with all his generosity, his jokes, his laugh, his smile, just him in general, I fell in love with my best friend. Who am I kidding though, he’s my best friend.

Anyways, we’re at this party, and Carrie is all over Montgomery. Zach sees and takes the first shot. 

Then Mont is telling her something and she laughs and leans forward. That’s when Zach takes shot #2.

Then they’re at the couch, in the corner. At this point they’re getting pretty touchy. Mont’s hand is on her thigh, and she’s smiling. That’s shot #3.

It just gets so much better from there. Mont is on the couch, and Carrie is on him, his lap more specifically. They’re eating each others’ faces. That’s shot #4, #5, and #6.

Then they’re gone, so Zach takes more shots, his #7 and #8.

The only reason I came was because he asked, and I knew he needed a distraction, but mainly because he was going to do something stupid and reckless. I just didn’t think it’d be with me. 

So we’re here, in this private room. 

“I love you,” he said.

“You’re drunk,” I sighed.

“I love you.”

“You don’t love me, you love the idea of me. There’s a difference.”

“I love you,” he said.

“You’re drunk,” I sighed.

“I love you,” he says it so hurt, he sounds fragile and vulnerable right now, like he needs me to say I love him.

“You don’t love me, you love the idea of me. There’s a difference.” 

“Y/N, I love you.”

“Can you stop saying it?!” You yell and he flinches. “I know. You’re very hurt, you loved Carrie, but you can’t do this to me, Zach. I’m your best friend,” at this point I’m crying a little, but cut me some slack. I just heard the person I’ve been in love with say the thing I’ve wanted to hear for the longest time. Except he’s drunk, and his perfect girlfriend broke up with him, and he’s sad.

“What’s wrong?” He asks quietly.

“Zach, you’re a good person, but you can be such an asshole. You’re so selfish!”

“Y/N What did I do?”

“What did you do?” I laugh, he is so ridiculous sometimes. “I have been in love with you for the longest time and you use that to feel better because Carrie left and you’re upset, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be another one of your rebound girls,” I say and I go out the door and pass all the drunk teens. You’re ready to walk home when you think to yourself.

He’s drunk Y/N. He needs a ride home, you sigh. Stupid thoughts. Stupid Zach. You walk back in the room.

“You’re back?”

“I need to drive you home,” you make it obvious that if he weren’t really drunk, you’d have left already.

-

The car ride is silent. Soon enough you’re at his house and you give him his keys. 

“How are you going to get home?” He asks.

“I’m going to walk.”

“Y/N.. Take they keys, I’ll pick it up tomorrow morning.”

“I can walk,” you really don’t want to see him anytime after tonight.

“Please. Y/N,” he’s begging, and you sigh. You grab the keys from his hand and get into his car. He watches you pull out of the driveway. While you’re on your way home, you cry. 

It’s not fair, he loves a girl who doesn’t love him when I’m right here. You’re driving when another car smashes into your car, turning your world into nothing, pitch black. 

The lack of a stop sign causes the person in the other car to run right into your side.

Busted

Can’t stop it.

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

Word Count: 2.4k

Genre: Fluff Smut/ Smut

A/N; I’m sorry for grammar errors, and that this one shit is shit. This was just something I wanted to post because I feel sad for not posting anything for my followes. 

“Jungkook, I’m grounded. I can’t go out with you or even go out of the house,” I said through the phone letting out a sigh from being grounded on a Saturday night. In fact, I was grounded for a whole week only because of one incident that happened last Saturday. 

The fact that I went out partying real hard last Saturday coming home all drunk and with a dress quite revealing in their opinion, but I didn’t get laid something that would be awful for both my mom and brother. I’m not the type of girl, who loves having sex with multiple guys at the same time. That’s just nasty in my opinion. This is my punishment no going out with friends, partying or even talk to people for a whole week. Unfair, I got safely home last Saturday and didn’t have a stretch on me. I was totally fine and I didn’t get into any trouble on my way home because someone was already taking care of me. 

“Just sneak out, I’m horny. Namjoon and all the older ones instead of Jimin and Taehyung are out on a trip. Jimin and Taehyung have their girlfriends here, so why can’t you come as well?”

“You know that we’re not even together. This was one mistake that turned into something. Namjoon is going to freak out if he finds out or in fact he’s going to get mad,” I said with a slightly worried tone, afraid that people would found out about our secret relationship. People all around the boys know that they have sex, but they don’t know who the girls are. The only ones in the group that have officially come out with their girlfriends are Jimin and Taehyung. The rest of the boys are either in a secret relationship or just have sex with a girl they found attractive. “It was a good mistake, so please come over”

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Good morning, while we wait for the Sana + Isak scene, think about all those times Isak gets piggy back rides now.


First time happened after Even cooked and Isak was helping (read: sitting on the counter and directing the spices. bc hello? he is the master of spices) and then it was time to give Isak rewarding kisses for being such a good helper so Even was standing between his legs and then suddenly he turned around, put his hands under Isak’s knees and said

“Hop on!”

Then this one time when Isak was a grumpy, sleepy lump in bed, where it’s warm and soft and cozy and Even was in such a good mood (*sigh* those morning persons) he pampered Isak’s face with all those kisses and then pulled him into a sitting position, rubbed their noses together and then whispered against his mouth

“Come on, Baby Monkey” and turned around.

Or the time when Isak got really, really drunk on Mahdi’s birthday. He wanted to stay mainly sober but as those plans go one drunk Eva

(”Isakiyakiiii, here have a shot with meee!”)

and also one very interesting drinking game (Even now may or may not know his part in that awful Penetrator song) later, he was basically shitfaced. He and Jonas were sitting on the stairs, Even crouching down in front of them, when Even suggested they get home and

“Oh! Yesss, plissss….Evi, I don’t want to move though”

he slurred and really tried to keep his eyes opened but, boy, his lids were heavy.
His boyfriend with his amazing hair and his plaidshirt just grinned up at him and tipped his back, raising those fine, fine eyebrows (Isak may have sighed dreamily more than once while this interaction happened) in question.

Isak returned the grin and asked  “Monkey?” to which Even answered with a soft peck to his lips and murmured

“Yes, my Baby Monkey”

and turned around for Isak to hope on. Once on his back he made a salute gesture to the general direction of Jonas and smooched Even’s cheeks, one hand firmly in that soft hair of his boy (for direction purposed of course).

Feelings

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*requested

Imagine: You are Rebekah Mikaelson’s best friend and, ah, a mermaid. She brough you home in a gesture act. What she did not expect was that her brother, Klaus, would fall for you and, whilst doing so, he win your heart over.

Warnings: swearing, kissing, some violent descriptions (not that big of a deal), mentions of sex, fluff

Word Count: 4250 (i think i broke my record with this one)


Patiently waiting for Rebekah Mikaelson, who happened to be your best friend for quite some time now, at a bar, you thought of how much your life had changed in the past year. All because you were forced to abandon your mermaid nature after one reckless night you spend at a forbidden cave; sure, your mother had warned you what would happen if you went there during a full moon, but you always thought she was just being an overprotective mum. Ultimately, she was not, for the next morning you woke up entirely naked. Oh, and with freaking legs instead of your blueish tail as well.

A gentle chuckle left your lips when you remembered the stunned looks the humans gave you once you managed to get out of the cave. Nudity can get them incredibly nervous.

“I presume you’re waiting for my sister, love.” A masculine voice, soaked in a marvellous British accent, said. “May I keep you company?”

“Suit yourself, Niklaus.” Your reply was short, straight to the point. “But I warn you she’ll be mad if she finds you here.”

“I know how to deal with Rebekah.” He smirked, sitting on one of the chairs and facing you with those deep blue eyes. “You know that.”

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Lose Your Keys, Find A Man

Originally posted by imaginesandmoreforfandom

Prompt: For the anon who sent in “Can you do a Derek Morgan x reader where she’s being harassing by some guy who won’t take a hint and he comes to her rescue?” 

A/N: Ah! I do love and miss my beautiful Derek Morgan so much! (Do I sound like Penelope yet lol? XD) This one is for the awesome anon who requested it and all the Morgan girls out there, not enough fics for him exist and I am happy to add to the collection. Enjoy :) Also, I’m still taking requests so if you want to hit up that asks box!

Note: (Y/N/N): your nickname

Word Count: 1.7 K

Rating: PG (maybe PG-13 if you really squint)


“Just one more drink she said, it’ll be fun she said! More like she’ll become a pain in the ass who can’t stand up,” you muttered as you dragged your friend Elizabeth out of the club with the help of your other friend Molly. The three of you had met your freshman year of college at Virginia Tech. Other than having one freshman english class, the three of you had polar opposite class and career tracks. You were a corporate lawyer, Molly was on the fast track to being a neurosurgeon, and Elizabeth was an aspiring painter. The three of you became inseparable and still shared an apartment, six years later. And it was times like this where you were glad you all had that kind of history else you might have killed the two of them by now. When you went out, you usually assumed the duty of being designated driver and “mom” of the night, while your two friends chose to drink ‘til they dropped, literally. 

“Look on the bright side, you can give her hell for this and shine a bright light in her eyes in the morning,” Elizabeth mumbled, stumbling slightly due to her drunk state and Molly’s extra weight on her shoulder. 

“Yeah right,” you snorted, “We both know that I’ll be handing out ibuprofen and coffee to you both in the morning and saying, ‘poor sweet baby’”. 

“True, but hey at least I’m not as much of a pain to handle,” she replied, as you hailed a cab. 

“Don’t even go there,” you said playfully bumping her shoulder. The passing cab came to hault and with you and Elizabeth’s combined efforts you managed to settle Molly inside. You reached in your purse for your wallet to ensure you could pay the fair and made a horrible discovery. “Shit, I think I dropped my keys,” you groaned.

“Just run inside and go find ‘em. We can wait.”

“No, it’s fine. I have no idea where I dropped them and this could take awhile. You need to get her home before she gets sick in the car.”

“Ok, just be careful. See you at home,” Elizabeth said. You closed the door of the cab and watched them drive off. You quickly walked back into the bar, not wanting to be outside for two long. You weren’t paranoid, just cautious. You’d heard too many horror stories women getting kidnapped outside of bars late at night. You quickly started scanning the room for a thick wad of keys as you walked back in. Not immediately catching sight of them, you trudged over to the bar. 

“Hey, Nick. Has anyone turned in a set of keys in the last ten minutes?” you asked the bartender, who you’d gotten to know since your friends loved this bar. 

“Afraid not (Y/N). Only things back here other than little old me are the drinks and a couple of notepads,” he replied cheekily. 

“Ha, well that was worth a shot. I’m going to go look over at the booth where we were sitting but if I can’t find them and they get turned in you’ll let me know right?”

“I’ll holler if they turn up.”

“Thanks,” you replied sadly, and dragged your feet over to the booth where you’d been stationed with your friends for the past three hours. You could kick yourself right now. All you wanted was to go home, but instead you were stuck at the bar looking for keys that you weren’ t even sure were there. You looked under the booth, then crawled in and stuck your hand down in the seats hoping maybe the keys had slid down in between. 

“Hello, pretty lady. Come back for more already?” some guy slurred as he stumbled toward you. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye and immediately recognized him as the man who’d spent the majority of the night trying to pick you up. And in turn, you’d spent most of the night trying to get away from him and his awful breath that stank of alcohol, which signalled to you that he’d had way too much to drink. 

“Just trying to find my keys,” you replied, casually and kept sliding your hand around the seats. 

“Well, maybe I could help you with that,” he muttered, in as sultry of a voice as he could muster up and slid his hand up your thigh and onto your ass. 

“What the hell are you doing?” you growled and flipped around, after ripping his hand off you.

“Just trying to get a little play baby.”

“Well find someone who wants to play with you.”

“Aw c’mon, pretty lady. I seen the way you and your friends dance with anything that moves. I just want a little of that attention.”

“And as I have politely told you all night, I’m not interested,” you snapped, using your foot to push him back a few feet. The man glared intently at you and you instantly regretted that last move. 

“Now listen here you-”

“Hey buddy, the lady said no so why don’t you back off,” a voice said from behind the man as a hand landed on his shoulder. You flicked your eyes up to the owner of the voice and you savior. Tall, muscular, and handsome as hell. Honestly, he looked more like he belonged in a movie than here in real life rescuing you from some guy. 

“Why don’t you mind your own business buddy?” the drunk man sneered, shrugging the foreign hand off of his shoulder. Your hero (as you had labeled him in your head) stepped between you and the drunk.

“It is my business when men like you are harassing a woman. So why don’t you scram before I have the other FBI agents in the room book you for attempted assault and harassment?” he replied flashing a gun and credentials. The man took one last look at you over his shoulder before stumbling off toward the door. “Well, that takes care of that,” he muttered straightening up before turning to you and offering a hand to help you out of the booth. “You alright?” 

“Yes,” you replied, taking his hand and pulling yourself out of the booth to stand in front of him. “Thank you so much, I’ve been trying to shake that asshole all night.” 

“Sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“It’s ok. He wasn’t being that ballsy earlier.”

“Well, no woman deserves to be treated that way,” he said. “Didn’t I see you leaving with your friends a few minutes ago?”

“Yeah, I put them in a cab to head back to our apartment once I realized I had dropped my keys somewhere in the bar earlier,” you told him as you did another scan of the bar. “I was trying to see if maybe they had slid down into the seat when the drunk bastard started creeping on me again.” You turned your eyes back to your companion and found him kneeling on the ground, pulling your keys out from under the booth. 

“These what you’re looking for?”

“Yes, thank you so much…”

“Sorry, manners slipped my mind. Derek Morgan,” he replied, handing you your keys. 

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), and given that you just essentially rescued me from some creep minutes ago I’m pretty sure your manners are fine,” you teased fiddling with your keys. 

“Like I said, it’s not right to treat ladies that way, especially one’s with smiles as pretty as yours,” he said, flashing a dazzling smile at you. You grinned at him and tucked your hair behind your ear. You were suddenly very aware that you were being watched. Glancing over your shoulder, you noticed a table full of people who were trying to nonchalantly watch the exchange going down between the two of you. 

“Well, I think I’m going to get going. I’ve got to drunks to take care of at home and I wouldn’t want to keep you from your friends any longer, but you might want to tell them to try being more discreet if they plan on watch people,” you chuckled. 

“I can walk you out if you want,” Derek suggested.

“You’ve been nice enough already, and the bartender is a friend so I’ll ask him to. It was nice to meet you, Derek,” you replied. 

“Nice to meet you too, (Y/N),” he said and sauntered off back to his friends. You sighed dreamily and walked up to the bar. 

“Success,” you declared, leaning on the bar, and dangled your keys for Nick to see. 

“Awesome, now I don’t have to scour the bar for those when I close,” he replied washing glasses. 

“Nick, would you mind walking me out to my cab? It’s kind of late,” you asked, slipping said keys back in your purse where they belonged. 

“Didn’t Derek offer to walk you out?”

“How did you know that? And second question, you know him?” 

“First, I’m a bartender I hear everything. I was about to step in for you earlier, but Derek was ordering a drink and said he would handle it. Second, I don’t know him per say, but the crowd of FBI agents over there are regulars,” Nick explained as he set the glass down and picked up another. “He’s a big hit with girls, but I don’t think he’s seeing anyone.”

“I know what you’re implying, and knock it off. He’s way out of my league,” you shot back. 

“C’mon, (Y/N/N). You, my friend, are a catch and he’s a great guy who knows how to treat a woman right.”

“What do you want me to do, Nick? Walk over there and drop my number on a napkin in front of him?”

“Or you can give it to him now since he’s walking over here,” Nick mumbled, suddenly very busy cleaning that glass. 

“(Y/N),” Derek said as he walked up beside you. 

“Hi again,” you replied. 

“Stop me if I’m being too forward, but I was wondering if I could maybe take you out to get a coffee?”

“Like right now?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Derek nodded. “It’s almost one o’clock in the morning.”

“Well, I am a man who believes in living in the present,” he replied chuckling, “but I do see your point.” 

“You know what, I know a great diner that makes a mean cup of coffee and a fantastic milkshake,” you mentioned adjusting the strap on your purse. 

“Well, Miss (Y/L/N), let’s go,” he said grinning as he offered you his arm. You giggled as you took it. Who knew you’d find your knight in shining armor as a result of losing your keys under a booth? 


BONUS SCENE!

A/N: ok so when I was writing the first part it suddenly hit me what the conversation with the team would be like after Morgan saves the reader and goes back to the table, but I couldn’t figure out how to work it into the story so I’m including it as a bonus scene. Enjoy :)

“Nice to meet you too, (Y/N),” Derek muttered and strolled back over to the table the other BAU members were perched around, still thinking about (Y/N)’s beautiful eyes and smile. 

“So, is she prettier upon closer inspection?” Rossi teased as Morgan leaned against the table. 

“What are you talking about?” Morgan asked, snapping out of his stupor. 

“Derek, c’mon you are sitting which a group of profilers. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you’ve been staring at her since we got here,” JJ replied, waggling her eyebrows at him. That was true, the team had arrived about an hour ago to continue their night of bar hopping and that was when Derek had noticed (Y/N). She had thrown the BAU’s resident player off of his game, big time. Instead of approaching and mingling, he’d decided to take the road of observing watching the way her smile lit up her face as she laughed with her friends and swung her hips. 

“We also agreed never to profile each other and I haven’t been staring,” Derek grumbled. 

“Right, so what’s her name?” Penelope asked leaning toward him. 

“(Y/N).”

“And I’m assuming you got her number, so when are you seeing her again?”

“I didn’t get her number,” he replied. A collective groan spread around the table, while Spencer smiled in the corner and extended his hand. 

“Told you, now fork it over all of you,” he said victoriously, taking a ten dollar bill from each member of the team. 

“What?”

“They bet that you’d have a date and her number by the time you walked back over here, and I noted the fact that you were ‘off your game’ as you would say, so I bet them you wouldn’t and I definitely won,” Reid explained, smiling smugly. 

 “Chocolate Thunder, bet aside I expect you to march back over there and score yourself a date else I hack her phone and call her for you,” Penelope threatened, poking his chest.

“I’ll show you who’s not off his game,” Derek grumbled, downing one of the shots that had been for the table before spinning and marching toward the bar where (Y/N) was chatting up the bartender. 

“Atta boy!” Prentis shouted.

“WHOO! GO CHOCOLATE THUNDER!” Penelope cheered.

booty call pt. 2 (m) // park jimin

Characters: Jimin x Reader ft. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon

Genre: fuck buddies!au ; friends with benefits

Word Count: 3, 026 words

part 1

Mature Content. [daddy kink ; spanking ; dom!jimin]

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