Day 2: Anger/Depression
Back again with Day 2 as I avoid my deadlines and pretend everything is A-Okay. Too bad Lance can’t muster that kind of enthusiasm. Nyehehe, anyways. No angst fanfic this time but here, have a drabble.
Lance is hanging out with Blue, pressing his back against her claws since he doesn’t have the strength to go inside to the cockpit. He’s tired and he wants to rest but he can’t sleep with his mind so blank and void of the usual emotions.
(He doesn’t want to think about how Shiro disappeared out of the cockpit of Black at the end of their final battle with Zarkon; somewhere he thought Shiro would be the safest during battle.)
He keeps sharing his worries with Blue through their bond but no amount of soothing words, purring, nor encouragements, can pick Lance up and bring him back to his feet. To go about his day once more with the determination he initially felt when they shifted their plans to finding Shiro.
No matter how hard he tries to hang on to the glimmer of hope that they’ll find Shiro, alive, he just can’t find it in himself to believe in those positive words he says to others. It hurts too much as it is, and he doesn’t know how he’ll handle hearing that Shiro is dead or no longer with them.
He keeps seeing Shiro in his dreams, his nightmares. They all end the same few ways, with Shiro’s eyes void of life, his body torn and mangled, or on his own deathbed at the hands of Shiro– no, no, not Shiro. The Champion.
It scares him. It terrifies him, the doubts and uncertainty that if… no, when they do find Shiro, he’ll be too far gone. That he’ll be nothing like the Black Paladin they know and love. Taken, captured, tortured, converted back into their little plaything; that their experiments will be too much for Shiro this time and he’ll give in to them and their pressure.
So he goes to blue with his worries, telling her everything, letting her see everything through their bond, through his eyes. It’s not enough to comfort him, but it’s enough to know he’s not alone.
Too bad he knows he can’t say the same about Shiro.