- Monsta X reaction to you having bad period pains
He most likely would not go above and beyond for you while you were curled up and groaning out in the amount of pain you were in. Shownu would wait until you told him to do something, knowing that sometimes your emotions would go up and down and left and right at odd times during this time. He would, however, hand you the pain pills you need and lay in bed with you, placing a water bottle by you. He would give you soft massages and try to help you sleep to nap the pain off as well.
“Anything else you need?”
I.M would probably want to be one of the most helpful out of the members in my opinion just because he couldn’t stand to watch you in that amount of pain. He would get your pain relievers and cuddle and rub your tummy gently and do whatever he could to make you comfortable. He would always want to make sure your comfortable and buy you whatever food you’re craving at that time.
“Will aegyo make it better?”
He will probably get on your nerves the entire time but still help you through the pain. He would take care of you as best as he possibly could and then some but, he would constantly ask you idiotic questions or say stupid things.
“Jagi, how bad could it be honestly?”
It may not be the cutest or loveliest way to help you while you were crying in pain in the middle of the bathroom floor but Hyungwon had learned what was effective. He would slip you the pain relief pills that were strong enough to knock you out for hours, help you to the bed, and massage your stomach gently as you slowly got drowsy and passed out.
“Sleep fixes everything, jagiya.”
I think he’d be simple with how he tried to make you more comfortable but, he couldn’t help his mouth at the same time. He would make you a hot drink get you your favorite food and put some music on as he held you close to him and massaged your body. As you groaned out in pain he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You act as if your appendix burst.”
The entire time you were in pain he would just ask you what you needed and what he could do. If you started crying that would probably just freak him out and he would feel awful that you had to go through this on a regular basis.
“You need the hospital?”
He would be extremely helpful during this time a month but also annoyed that he had to deal with this time of the month. The moment he found you curled up in fetal position groaning and whining in pain he would help you to the bed, get a hot compress and some water and try to soothe you.
From your position of influence, what kind of beauty message do you hope to portray?
“I think that what’s so beautiful about make-up is that, if you
love it and you feel beautiful wearing it, you can wear as much as you
like. But if you feel you don’t need to or if you don’t like to, that’s
also fine too. It’s something that can empower you if you want it to but
if not then so be it. So the message towards young girls is to just be
who you want to be. Make-up is a powerful thing and nowadays it gives so
many girls so much confidence. It’s sometimes an intense subject but
you can learn so much now and if you love it, you can learn exactly how
do to it – but it should never be stressful. It’s a fun thing.”
all i want in this life is a few months at least of dean and seth walking around with those tag team titles over their shoulders, smiling and being all dumb and dorky and bickering over the stupidest things all while gazing fondly at each other
Aries: how have you been? Yes you with the angry eyes and the broken heart. Didn’t anyone tell you that smiling with your lips is the worst smile? Smiling with your eyes is the best love. I find it prodigious really, how you pick yourself up after being impaired.
Taurus: and even when everything stings, even when everything burns, even when you’re on the verge of giving up. You looked fear in the eye and said “Go to hell” because sorrow is a sign of the times, and your willpower is stronger than your emotions. You control you.
Gemini: when the dandelions fall out of your hair, and the skies turn orange. When the little paper cut burns a little more than you’d like it to or when the grass you sit on has a little too much dewdrops. When everything is a little too much, or just not enough, know one thing is certain. Someone is thinking of you, somewhere.
Cancer: sometimes I want to sue the world, how can it be so harsh on something so sweet? How can something so sweet do something so bitter? In a gutter your light would still shine. In the dark you can’t see, “Am I darkness or has darkness become me?” Be free, you are light and you are dazzling me.
Leo: compliments feel like sticky pastes ‘cause you don’t believe in the smiles on their face, it’s a maze. Run, run, don’t come back, see the stars and kiss your scars. Kiss your own skin, love your own face. You are independent, you are relentless. Puppet on a strings, threaded to promises.
Virgo: a shattered self esteem, an introvert with devoured dreams. Eaten by the greedy, the successful and the liars. Fake friends meeting sadness at one end, hate at the other. But “otherwise I’ll be alone and no one wants to be lonely and I’m lonely when I’m alone” the critical mind, the self paining cries. “Alright, it’s alright.” Repeat it until you believe it.
Libra: when love and chaos meet, you will see me at the early morning sunrise. Plucking petals off of periwinkle blue, eerie flowers. You said you were a night owl, one to always sleep in. The last few days you’ve been up at five thirty, meeting the sunset with tired eyes. You told me that fatigue is the price of caring for someone too deeply, you said it meant love.
Scorpio: the claws of the nightmares enrol in your daydreams, the screams and whispers shiver you to the bone. You’re not afraid, you’re not scared, just a little bit alone. But you’re dying to stay positive, come on love you can do it. You keep telling yourself lies, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” You’re in the headlights, on the front row of your own movie. Stop feeling like you have to pay for the tickets.
Sagittarius: let’s run away tonight, let’s get drunk under summer stars and hope we’ll get home without broken hearts. Let’s run, let’s go, I don’t want to know. There’s too many pain in this black and white town, let’s leave and build our own out of cracked bones and broken homes.
Capricorn: when the shadows catch up with you, and the fatigue seeps through your lifeless skin; when the dandelions feel like uselessness and the smell of rain reminds you of broken glass… know that you don’t need to be fixed. You are not broken. Reading glasses slipping off noses, tossing and turning to get a slight chance of sleep.. know that everything you tell yourself you are, is how you limit yourself. You tell yourself it’s all you’ll ever be.
Aquarius: jars filled with little papers. They’re inked with words that are left unknown, one word for every day together with a number. Today the word was “HOPE” together with a six-point-seven on the happiness ratio. Yesterday it was “MELANCHOLY” with a five on the scale of misery. Never daring to get close to nines and tens, those were for people with real problems- funerals, breakups, getting fired. Maybe five, maybe an in between. A non-answer. Maybe five.
Pisces: someone told me about their imaginary friend named Ann, she was sweet and nice but cold like ice. Her hair was raven black and she always wore sundresses even in the winter. They played tennis with her and wore each others clothes, one day Ann had the leave the young person. They cried and weeped “Why?” they screeched. Ann frowned and held the persons face in her hands. “Other people need me too, you’re not alone. Just have the courage to pretend.”
if your day has felt longer than the time it took to read this poem, know that you’re loved. (1st august - 2017)
I’ve learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned-that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned- that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned- that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I’ve learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I’ve learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned- that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned- that you can keep going long after you can’t.
I’ve learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned- that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned- that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I’ve learned- that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned- that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned- that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
I’ve learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned- that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned- that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned- that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Be responsible for yourself, so I don’t have to do that for you, too. - I’m hard on myself. Assure me that I’m good, just the way I am. - Tell me that you appreciate my advices. - Be fair, and attentive, like I am. - Apologize when you are wrong. This helps me forgive. - Help me loosen up a bit, and teach me how to laugh at myself. But please, listen to my concerns first.
(Most common type among ISTJs, ESTJs, and INTJs)
- Tell me you appreciate me. Be specific about why. - Share your joy with me. - Do care about my problem, even if I’m busy with yours. - Let me know that I’m important and special to you. - Please be gentle, even if you have to criticize me. - In intimate relationships; assure me that you’re still interested in me. - Remind me that you love me. - Tell me I’m attractive, and you really like when people see us together.
(Most common type among ISFJs, ESFJs, ESFPs, INFJs, and ENFJs)
- Leave me alone when I work. - Please give me honest, but not critical feedback. - Help me to organize, and to keep my environment neat. - Don’t burden me with negative emotions. - Tell me that you like being with me. - Tell me that you’re proud of me and my achievements.
(Most common type among ESTJs, ENTJs, and ENFJs)
- Give me compliments often. They mean a lot. - Be a supportive friend, or partner. Help me to love others and to appreciate myself. - Please keep the power of my intuition, and foresight in respect. - Though I don’t always want people to cheer me up from my melancholy, sometimes you still have to bring back the light to my inner world. - DON’T tell me, that I’m too sensitive, or I overreact something!
(Most common type among ISFPs, INFJs, and INFPs)
- Please be independent, not a puppy. - Talk shortly, and straightforwardly. - I need to be alone to think. - Remember, if I appear to be distant, or arrogant, that’s because I feel uncomfortable. - Show me that you’re happy to see me, but don’t ever overact because that makes me doubt your honesty. - If I have to repeat something I said, and I become irritated, that’s because it was hard to say for the first time even. - Help me to avoid big parties, loud people, overheated emotions, and the violation of my privacy.
(Most common type among ISTPs, INTJs, and INTPs)
- Be straightforward and honest with me. - Pay attention to me. - Please don’t condemn me for my worry. - Let’s solve our problems together. - Assure me that everything’s OK between us. - Laugh, and joke around with me. - Lead me gently to new experiences. - Don’t overreact when I overreact something.
(Most common type among ISTJs, ESTJs, ISFJs, and ESFJs)
- Give me company, kindness, and freedom. - Have stimulating conversations, and laugh with me. - Appreciate my ideas, and listen to my stories. - Don’t try to change me. Accept me for who I am. - Be independent. I don’t like babysitting others. - Please don’t tell me what to do.
(Most common type among ESTPs, ENTPs, ESFPs, and ENFPs)
- Stand up for yourself… and for me. - Be confident, strong, and straightforward. - Don’t talk behind my back and don’t abuse my trust. - Dare to be vulnerable, and share your feelings with me. Notice, and admit that I have a delicate side, too. - Give me space to be alone. - Admit, and appreciate the things I do for you, but don’t try to dazzle me. - I often talk passionately. Please don’t take it personally. - When I rage, I break things, or I shout. Remember, this is how I work.
(Most common type among ESTPs, ENTJs, and ENTPs)
- It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it. I’m sensitive to pressure and expectations. - I like being quiet and to serve, but don’t take advantage of me. - Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking, not even when I digress a little. - Give me enough time for decisions, and tasks. But you can push me gently. - Ask, if something’s not clear. - Please tell me, if you like me.
It won’t go to my head.
- Hug me, and show me your emotions physically. This helps me to open up. - I like a good conversation, but not an argument. - Let me know, if I did or said something right. - Laugh with me, and share your happiness with me.
(Most common type among ISTPs, INTPs, ISFPs and INFPs)
I want to ask you something. From the lines that was said on the trailer for the new season five episodes of Steven Universe. Lapis said “Their gonna take their anger out on this planet just like they did before.” “I won’t let myself get caught up in another war.” What is your take on this and could this give us more of Lapis’ arc? Also I want know on what do you want Lapis to go through so she can have character development? I’m really worried for her and I love her so much. Your very logical.
i think lapis is leaving the barn. it’s been foreshadowed for a very long time, and this was never a mutually happy thing. it was her and the crystal gems trying to coexist, and it mainly worked because they were always avoiding a core issue: they’re determined to defend earth. lapis is not.
why don’t you put that corn in a mirror for thousands of years and then see how it feels about the table? (laughs) it would really… hate the table!
the ‘table’ is earth. and that… never changed. remember, this was long after steven tried to show her the beauty of earth, by way of uh… leaf. and cities.
of course that wasn’t going to be enough.
lapis tried to be positive, because it’s steven, and he’s her friend! she wants him to see her best, and she knows he’s the reason the other crystal gems let an old enemy live on earth, despite trying to kill humans (and their boy).
connie: you almost drowned me when you tried to steal the world’s water
lapis: …i almost drowned a lot of people.
she feels guilty for some of her actions, but after her breakdown, she’s gone back to avoiding all these things. she doesn’t really want to address bad blood with these people when she has nowhere else to go.
that’s why people often remark that she seems ‘out of character’ when talking to steven - she’s actively trying to be the beach summer fun buddy.
life on earth is really confusing… it took me a long time to get used to it. i’m still getting used to it.
but things aren’t so peachy. there are too many reasons she hates the earth, too many tensions between her and the crystal gems, too many things lapis avoids talking about (connie, steven, jasper, greg, the crystal gems as a whole)… it was only a matter of time before the fragile truce was challenged.
the other CGs don’t have much nice to say about her either.
steven: visiting peridot and lapis will be so much fun!
amethyst: …yeah, cause when i think fun, i think lapis.
pearl was nothing short of scornful of lapis in ocean gem. that never really changed. she’s only tolerating her, even in gem harvest. lapis feels the same, judging by their history, and the malice in her voice when saying peridot should be ‘the pearl’ when pretending to be crystal gems.
garnet has sympathy for malachite, but even that was with the careful neutrality of “yikes. those two are really bad for each other”. alexandrite agrees, suggesting “you two should spend some time apart”.
you ran? from blue and yellow diamond?!
the benefit of pretending everything’s fine was that lapis was left alone, without having to face more severe consequences,and for the crystal gems, that this very powerful gem didn’t give them any trouble.
but... with the diamonds setting their sights on earth, that peace is in question.
they’re gonna take their anger out on this planet just like they did before. i won’t let myself get caught up in another war.
lapis looks out for lapis - that’s always been part of her. she cares for her friends, but she’s also determined to live. despite her guilt, she can be calculating, vicious and desperate to keep the status quos that benefit her. when that is no longer possible, she adapts, lashes out… or flees.
in other words… the crystal gems will fight for earth. lapis doesn’t want to.
i think acknowledging this is good. lapis’ challenge should involve facing consequences and figuring out what’s right for her now. because this isn’t it.
peridot: earth is our home now! isn’t that worth fighting for?
peridot wants to believe she will stay, but… judging by the lighting, their eye-contact and the angles, we already have lapis’ answer:
Hi Cassie. This is about Lady Midnight, not Lord of Shadows, so I may be a little late but anyway. People who hate Kieran are constantly bringing up the fact that he tried to convince Mark that he being with his family again wasn’t real in that note he sent him and I really can’t understand why he did it? What was the true purpose of that note? Can you please tell me? I love Kieran, and I don’t like when people are unfair with him. Thank you.
That’s interesting – I have to admit it never really occurred to me people would be confused by what that note meant/was about. The below contains spoilers but not major ones, so skip if you are avoiding even mild spoilers.
First I should say it’s fine to dislike a character. There is no character I have written or read about that someone hasn’t disliked for some reason. If that character is in a love triangle, multiply that by 100,000,0000000. (That may not be a real number but you get the point.) I’ve been thinking a lot about liking and disliking characters and the act of reading with empathy, which I will get to more at the end of this essay. Right now I’m just going to talk about what that note meant, and the way in which Kieran is a complicated sort of character generally.
We read for lots of reasons. To see our own experience reflected (a “mirror” reading experience) and also to see experiences that are not ours. (A “window” experience.) One of the interesting things about seeing the judgements of Kieran is the expectation that he is meant to act like a mundane human being (one who has dutifully read not just many relationship-help tomes but also all the Shadowhunter books – thanks, Kieran! – and is well acquainted with the Blackthorns despite never having met them). At very least, he is expected to act like a Shadowhunter, and not at all like a Faerie – despite the fact that a Faerie is what he is, and as a Faerie, he is not like us. He does not have typical human cultural beliefs about love (in good and bad ways), or commitment — he doesn’t mind at all whether Mark has sex with other people — or what promises mean, or what is personal space (a ridiculous idea to a Faerie.)
Mostly what I’ve seen complaint-wise about Kieran is that he is manipulative, which is true only to the extent that he has grown up in Faerie, where everyone is manipulative. Because they cannot lie, they have created a complex society of misdirection and manipulation and Kieran, growing up as Prince, would have been raised in the heart of that. He would know no other way to behave, and indeed has only been learning, slowly, different human patterns of behavior. He is actually really terrible at being manipulative — not a patch on Julian, for instance — and mostly he is neither good at it nor does it that often. But we can certainly look at what he has done.
So, on to the note and the vague six words it contains. (I don’t really understand what “he tried to convince Mark that he being with his family again wasn’t real” means, because Mark was obviously with his family and not, say, on a balloon tour of Cappadocia. I don’t think even the Seelie Queen would have tried to convince him otherwise, because that is not manipulation, that is waving your arms around yelling “Mark! They’re dosing you with PCP! That’s not really Ty! It’s a huge bunny!“ which is not going to work and nobody would reasonably think it would.) So I’m just going to gather that some sinister goal is being implied here and talk about why Kieran did send the note.
Remember that none of this is real. Why did Kieran say that? Because he was worried about Mark and thought it was the truth. Not for another reason. I gather there is an assumption that the phrase "remember that none of this is real” is somehow about Mark’s family, but it wasn’t. If Kieran had wanted to say “don’t trust your family” or whatever, he would have said that. The note was about the entire world of the Nephilim. Nor was it anything Kieran didn’t entirely think was true.
Nor was he entirely wrong.
Kieran was cast out of the King’s court because he was well-liked and the King saw him as a threat. He spent his years in the Wild Hunt with Mark watching as Mark’s heart broke every single night when he counted out his family’s names on the stars. He felt Mark’s agony when Mark saw Simon, and thought Simon had come to bring him back to the Nephilim, only to find out the Shadowhunters had abandoned him like garbage. Experiencing the agony of someone you love is worse than experiencing your own. After living through the horror of Mark’s despair and crushing loss, is it particularly surprising that Kieran might be wary of Mark getting attached to his family again only to be ripped away from them again – which is in fact what pretty much everyone in Lady Midnight thought was going to happen? Like, nobody thought this majorly fuckerated offer from the Fair Folk was likely to have a good outcome? Julian was terrified what it meant for the kids and thought it might be better if Mark had never come back? Kieran is unlikely to have a more positive view of the kindliness and honestly of the Clave (or the Courts of Fae) than Julian does.
Here is what Kieran knows to be fact:
Shadowhunters hate Faeries.
Mark was abandoned by his people. The Nephilim, certainly, his family, perhaps. Kieran knows they never tried to get in touch with Mark, and he is unaware of the Blackthorns’ complicated circumstances, that they were forbidden to look for Mark, and that they needed to protect Helen. There is no way he would know about those things, unless he had read the books. (Read the books, Kieran!).
He knows the Shadowhunters have enacted the Cold Peace, a series of racist laws punishing Faeries. He knows Mark will be in danger from this.
He has no reason not to think that when Mark is returned to the world of the Nephilim, using his family as bait, they won’t chop his damn head off.
That is what Kieran is urging Mark not to think is real. Nephilim promises. The idea that he will be safe outside Faerie in the Shadowhunter world. And Kieran is not exactly wrong either. We are all glad that Mark is back with his family….and if the Cohort gets into power they might chop his damn head off. Maybe he would have been better off back in the Wild Hunt.
Kieran can’t lie – and he can’t lie in writing either. He said what he said in his note because he was frightened for Mark, and he wanted him to stay safe. In no way did he mean “Your family doesn’t love you,” because if he thought that, he would actually have said it at some point, ever, rather than being incredibly vague in a note that, since he has never said anything remotely like “Your family doesn’t love you” to Mark, Mark would find incomprehensible. Mark understands the note perfectly, because the idea that Nephilim as a group are not trustworthy is not new to him nor is it a huge surprise Kieran would feel that way. (There’s also a lot of numinous stuff to get into about what real and unreal means to faeries, in a magical sense, but there’s no room here, alas.) Kieran has lots of opportunities to say bad things to Mark about his family if he wanted to, but IIRC he never does.
Misguided is not the same as manipulative. To be manipulative means that you’re playing on someone else’s hopes or fears to achieve selfish ends without regard for their well-being. But the idea that Kieran is a cold-hearted bastard who didn’t mean a word of the note (despite not being actually able to lie) and is a consummate actor doesn’t really jibe with anything we actually know or observe about Kieran. Far from having Julian’s ability to play others like guitar strings, mostly Kieran blurts out what he means when he means it and never even tries to pretend otherwise. He can be petulant as hell and annoying, showing up to see Mark when he’s not supposed to and sulking about whether Mark likes someone else. He can be manipulative in the way he sometimes kisses Mark when Mark is trying to be logical because he’s insecure and he trusts Mark’s desire for him even when he can’t convince himself Mark really loves him (but this doesn’t really work, which is what I mean by Kieran not being great at manipulation). He very foolishly interferes with Mark’s dream in Lord of Shadows because he wants to talk and he thinks giving Mark a dream in which they’re having a friendly conversation means he’ll find out what Mark’s hiding. (Which is another example of him not really understanding human issues. All he wants out of the dream is a talk — “Because you are not truthful with me. Your heart is closed and shrouded. I cannot see it,” Kieran said. “I thought, in dreams, perhaps …” — and the dream starts out with them sitting and talking while one bandages the other, and Kieran manages to get in the idea that he knows Mark is lying to him. Things take a sexy turn, but not because of Kieran. He can’t control Mark’s dreams in every detail: if he could, there would be literally zero point in a dream in which he’s hoping Mark will volunteer to tell him the truth. Mark has to have free will in the dream or there’s no point in what Kieran straight-up says the dream is for, and again, Kieran cannot baldfacedly lie. And Kieran is right — Mark is lying to him, in fact the whole family is gaslighting him, which is why it pains Mark when Kieran recalls the phrase “remember that none of this is real.” Because none of it, in this case, IS REAL. Kieran is being lied to by EVERYONE. However, Mark is still right that Kieran shouldn’t be poking at his dreams — and he shouldn’t. Kieran, as a faerie, doesn’t really get that: dreams aren’t private to him, and besides, Mark has allowed Kieran into his dreams before, so Kieran assumes it’ll be okay now, because Mark said it was all right previously. But this is where Kieran needs to learn not to make assumptions, and to value Mark’s privacy even if he doesn’t really get it. Does he? He seems to: he listens to what Mark says, and he never touches his dreams again. In fact, they actually have a pretty useful, healthy conversation about it, though we have to wait until QoAD to see how any breakthroughs they make in LoS play out.)
So yes, Kieran can make spectacularly bad decisions, with the worst of them being when he thought getting Mark hauled back to the Wild Hunt for an infraction was a good idea and wouldn’t result in any collateral damage. And Kieran deserves to be blamed and to feel guilty for that, nor do I mean to excuse him – and I have no interest in doing that; that wrong that he did is a building block of his flawed character. As I saw someone say on twitter the other day, which probably means you’ve all seen it many times, characters are not all either angelic cinnamon rolls or problematic monsters. Like people, because they are intended to reflect people, they exist on a continuum of behavior: some fail and learn, some fail and never learn, some have good intentions and some bad, some grow and change, some are changed by grief or shock or maturity, some cannot grow and are tragic figures. Committing a manipulative act doesn’t damn you forever unless you keep committing manipulative acts forever. If people (and characters) were rendered garbage by past mistakes, there would be no need for therapy or books, since both are about how people learn to change.
As Kieran says: “Everyone is more than one thing. We are more than the single actions we undertake, whether they be good or evil.” That was in Lady Midnight, and it’s possible he was thinking about the fact that he never tells Mark in that book that the reason he wanted Mark brought back to the Wild Hunt so badly – the reason he turned Mark in, hoping he’d be dragged away from the world of Nephilim – was not so that he could date Mark, but because he had been told Mark was going to be murdered. That Mark’s head was going to be chopped off NOW. That doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it makes it a lot less manipulative in two ways: he actually wasn’t acting for a selfish end, but to protect Mark from death, and he never tells Mark that in LM, letting Mark blame him. He lets Mark break up with him and walk away from him with only quiet resignation as a reply. He does nothing to try to make him stay and attempts no manipulation at all, nor is he manipulative when he shows up to help save Tavvy – he offers help, gives it, and expects nothing in return. Only when Kieran is in shock over having been lied to, and his sudden recollection of his own mistakes, does he tell Mark that he was in fear for Mark’s life – which makes a big difference to Mark, who is able to recognize what that means about why Kieran did what he did.
[Kieran said] “Iarlath had hinted you would not be safe in the Shadowhunters’ world. That they were planning to lure you back, only to execute you on some trumped-up charge. I was a fool to believe him. I know it now.”
“Oh,” said Mark. The knowledge unfolded in him, realization edged with relief. “You thought you were saving my life.”
Kieran nodded. “It makes no difference, though. What I did was wrong.”
(Emphasis mine.) Kieran is flawed, he screws up. He is also capable of acts of great nobility – his willingness to testify to protect the Blackthorns at the end of LOS being one of them. Kieran spends LOS being lied to and manipulated by everyone around him while his memory is gone. He is trapped in the Institute, a place so full of anti-Faerie magic that it makes him so sick he can barely eat. He suspects Mark is jerking him around in some way, he turns out to be right, and he’s still willing to testify in the Blackthorns’ defense. He is also able to see when he is/was wrong, and acknowledge it. None of this makes him a perfect person, but it certainly complicates him away from the oversimplified reading that he’s a manipulative horrorshow and that’s the end of the story — especially when a huge chunk of the story has yet to be told.
My suspicion, since there are plenty of other flawed characters in these books stumbling along messing up, is that Kieran’s true crime is being part of a love triangle. Having been through this before I remember well the long essays about how Will was a horrible person and the Wessa relationship was toxic and Jem was a horrible person and that relationship was toxic because dying people should know not to bother other people with their feelings (seriously). That is how people talk about love triangles these days; it seems to be a contest about which relationship is perceived as healthiest, which people are the best and most deserving people of the prize (Tessa, or in this case, Mark). There are a couple problems with that: one that is an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. (It obviously depends on the relationship, some absolutely cannot and should not be fixed, but there would be little need for marriage counselors if relationships could not be made healthier.) The second is that if you want to hate a character, you can convince yourself they are evil even if they spend a whole book saving bunnies, nuns, and salmon who can’t find the salmon cannon, so the arguments do get a bit circular after a while. Certainly I have come across plenty of essays about how Cristina is terrible and should go away because Kieran doesn’t like her (he does like her) and Mark doesn’t want her (not true) and she isn’t so great (I think she is so great and so do they.)
So I will say three things:
1) Kieran is not what is keeping Mark and Cristina apart, any more than Cristina is what is keeping Mark and Kieran apart. Kieran and Mark have a relationship that needs to be worked on to be healthy, and Cristina and Mark have to get to know each other better outside the magic of the binding spell. These things would be true regardless.
2) I know that this essay will garner plenty of people announcing that this means I ship Mark and Kieran or am in love with Kieran, and I know this because this happens whenever I post anything about them, or a piece of fanart of them, even if I post a piece of fanart of Cristina and Mark shortly after. I can only say what I have said for ten years, which is that I don’t ship my own characters or “love” them in the way a fan loves a character — all the characters are pieces of myself in some way or other so that’d feel very odd. I know there may be other authors who feel differently, but I can’t “ship” a couple when I’m primarily interested in their relationships in terms of theme, craft and writing the best story I can — I need the distance of being a reader, not a writer, to “ship” something. (I would also note that male authors rarely ever have people talk about how they’re in love with their characters or they write about them because it’s a “fetish” or “they get off on it”: only women get that narrative, but that’s another post.)
3) I remember reading online that writers should write with “savage empathy.” I’ve always thought that was great advice, as it reminds us to always stay in sympathy with characters and write from a place of their humanity, in all the vastness of humanity’s capability for complexity: for the same person to be capable of immense selfishness and immense nobility, or deep gentleness and great cruelty. It reminds us that we strive to reflect what is human rather than what is either entirely perfect or entirely evil. I feel like it’s also been good advice for me as a reader. It reminds me to look at things from the characters’ point of view, to not expect them to know what I know,* to remember the circumstances of their lives and the ways in which they may behave differently than I would because of the way they were raised/what their culture prioritizes. It has helped me be less judgmental of characters and while I don’t think it’s made me unaware of the problematic, I think it’s made me a happier reader. Even when I don’t forgive, I can understand, and that reminder of the eternal complexity of the human soul, and its capability for change and redemption, has enriched my reading life. It’s wonderful to realize that you can enjoy reading even more than you did before, and I can only hope for the same for all my readers.
*This is why it is pointless to be angry at the Superhero’s girlfriend when he is off saving the city, and you know he is off saving the city but she doesn’t, so she’s just angry he didn’t make it to little Marcia’s bat mitzvah.
Hey, everyone! I was walking home late last night and I just felt like I needed to say some stuff. Yes, it is inspired by true events.
Dudes, let me give you some advice on how to interact with women walking alone late at night. This advice is intended to help you make them feel comfortable and safe from…yeah, you. And also for you to avoid getting your dick kicked into your chest cavity. My females, I’m putting out some tips that I learned from my daddy (who was a cop) that have helped make me feel safer while walking home. (Obviously subject to editing if people have some reliable source they’d like to share that contradicts what I’ve said. It’s about being safe, after all).
If you see a woman walking alone late at night, don’t walk behind her. If you’re going the same way as her, try crossing to the other side of the street, or making it really clear you are not paying any attention to her. If she looks back at you, politely say that you are keeping your distance and wish her a good night. If she stops to let you walk by her, it’s not an insult. It’s for her safety, because she has been trained not to trust men late at night. She is protecting her six, and if you’re a decent guy, you will let her. Don’t ask a woman you see walking late at night for a cigarette, a dollar, or to use her phone. Don’t say shit to her unless it’s to tell her to have a good night and be safe. If you see a woman being harassed, loudly offer to call the police, or just go ahead and do so. Don’t offer to walk her home, because that’s a familiar line and will put her instantly on the defensive. Instead, ask her if you can call her a taxi or contact a friend. If a woman gives you a dirty look when she’s walking home at 2 AM, please don’t call her a bitch. She’s protecting herself, and if you think she has that right, then just take it with an understanding nod, instead of acting like a fucking baby. If you’re a professional driver, don’t follow beside her slowly, like you’re casing her. If she needs a cab, she will make that obvious. If you’re a bouncer, and she is leaving your protection, give her advice on the safest ways to walk. If a woman asks for your help, and you consent to giving it to her, please be respectful of boundaries and make it clear you are not helping her for any reason other than to make sure she is safe.
Firstly, I know how fucking obnoxious it is to have to tailor your entire life to the sexual urges of predators. I know you just want to say “Screw this” sometimes and go out for a walk because why should you have to stay cooped up? I also know that sometimes, you can’t help it. Sometimes your ride ditches you and you don’t have cab fare. i am not going to lecture you, because you know what you’re doing.
So maybe instead I can give you some things you maybe haven’t thought of before.
1) Take off your high heels. If that grosses you out and you don’t want to carry spare shoes, carry a pair of socks in your purse (or your bra. Come on, they make great hoists) and wear them over your bare feet. I’ve seen those little rubber shoe things too, that look like flats…those are dope.
2) Avoid dark places. Even if it means you have to walk a little out of the way. You need to be able to see everything around your for at least a hundred feet, because a man can clear 100 feet at a dead run, very quickly.
3) Always look around, constantly. Predators want an easy mark, and if you’re paying attention, you cannot be an easy mark.
4) Pass by as many ATM’s as possible and look directly at them. They have continual activity on their cameras, so if you are snatched, the police can document your movements.
5) Only carry cards. If the place you’re going only takes cash, then have a specific amount and no more than that. The idea is to minimize incentives to rob you. If a man approaches you to rob you, and you have nothing to give him, he will likely leave at once, because he is usually nervous and doesn’t want to be identified, so be prepared to empty that bag out on the road and show him you have no valuables.
6) Should you have a weapon? Only if you know how to use them and are willing to do so, otherwise they end up being taken from you and used on you. Long range weapons like pepper spray are better.
7) Don’t talk on your cellphone in the standard way. I know you think that it’s a good idea, but the fact is, it distracts you and holding it can block your line of sight. A man can grab you and smash it and no one can track you. Instead, put it on speaker, tuck it in a pocket, and give constant location updates, if you feel threatened. Or prearrange a text appointment with someone who can call authorities if you don’t reply.
8) No music. Do not be that girl, walking in the dark, with her phone on a loud song to take her mind off the scariness of it. Music draws attention to you and distracts you. It can also mask noises of a confrontation.
9) If a man walks behind you, you have two options. You can put your back to a wall and allow him to pass by you, or you can cross the street. If he follows, find a public place immediately. If this isn’t possible, the fact is, he’s a threat. If it were me, I’d look him right in the eye and make sure he can see that I’m willing to kill. Don’t ignore a threat, and ladies, walking alone at 2 am means every man is a potential threat. Run, if you feel threatened. Who the fuck cares if he isn’t “actually a bad guy” or thinks it’s weird? Just ask yourself, “What if he is a bad guy?”
10) Be willing to drop everything in your hands. If there’s something you don’t want to leave in the street, shove it in your bra or your pocket.
11) There’s a lot of debate about how to deal with an attacker if it does happen. Some say to do what you’re told, and some say to fight like hell. I can’t make that decision for you, but you have to be aware, and try and understand the attacker. Ask questions. If you think they aren’t listening…it’s up to you. Personally, a guy better not try to put his dick in my mouth, because I will bite it the fuck off and see what happens, but thats me. Don’t go with him. If he has a weapon, then he is willing to kill you. So make the choice. If you go with him, you stand a much higher risk of never coming back, because in solitude, with no threat of discovery, he can do whatever he wants. If he wants you to leave where you are, it means that place is safer, so stay in that place.
12) Do learn self defense. If a man can hit you once, he can win. Learn how not to get hit. Learn how to get out of suppression holds. Learn what to do if grabbed from behind.
13) Minimize physical risk. Take off all jewelry, Ponytails are just convenient handles. (I had a friend get grabbed from behind by her ponytail and lifted off the ground, with a knife to her throat. She couldn’t get free because he had all her hair in one hand. Hair is VERY strong. So take your hair down, because if he can only get a handful, you can usually tear free, but if he has all of it, you can’t go anywhere.) Same with loose clothing or clothes with strings. Keys are weapons, rings are weapons. High heeled shoes can kill a man.
14) The cops will not be angry with you if you call them because you feel threatened, and it turns out nothing is wrong. They just won’t. In fact, I can think of at least ten famous cases where a woman called the cops because she was being followed and it turned out the guy was like some horrible rapist or murderer they finally caught.
15) You have the right to defend yourself. Better to be alive and dealing with assault charges than dead in a gutter.
One time I flipped a jogger upside down because he came up behind me really fast while I was walking home from work at midnight. He laid on his back looking up at me like “WTF DID I DO” and I just said to him, “Hey man, I am really sorry, but you scared the shit outta me.” And helped him up.
And you know what? He was totally cool about it. Said he completely understood and asked me what martial art that was. I told him it was Aikido and then offered to pay his cleaning or medical later if he needed it. He shook his head and goes, “No, ma’am, we’re good.” and jogged on.
I’m not telling you that so that you kick every man you see at night in the balls. Men have to walk home at night sometimes, same as us. I’m telling you that because women have been taught they have no right to be fierce. And they absolutely do. It’s better to defend yourself first and ask questions later, to run first and feel silly later, to strip down or button up first and let loose later.
Be safe. Women, be smart. And dudes…don’t take this personally. If you agree that women should be equals, then treat them with respect.
(a/n: also NSFW! this and a few more Drabbles will be coming tonight. If you requested an imagine, it is being edited now and will be up very soon! Thank you for the wonderful ideas! xoxo)
- he’s actually so mesmerized by you.
- LOTS of hickeys.
- praise kink™
- sp a n k i n g
- “aw, c'mon angel? You look so fucking good with hickeys!? what’s it gonna hurt?”
- “Sebastian, babe, people will see them.”
- “so? You’re my baby.”
- laying in bed and listening to music. his head is in your lap, watching you mouth the words jokingly. after a moment he’d just snap up and push you into the bed, landing his spot on top of you.
- “you’re so fucking hot.” whispered against your lips.
- he loves seeing you show off. you’re amazing and he wants everyone to know.
- S E X T I N G
- he’s busy a lot so you gotta do it somehow.
- he’s definitely a “send nudes?” kinda guy.
- he likes fucking you real slow and hard, milking every sound he can get out of you.
- he likes to experiment here and there.
- being tied up is fun but sometimes he can’t take it.
- he’s developed a kink for your tongue probably.
- okay but people say if you’re only having sex with one person for the rest of your life, you’ll get bored. NOT. TRUE.
- Sebastian loves lovemaking.
- he’s big on oral.
- mainly giving it.
- comments “you look like a snack” on ur instagram posts only to eat u out later that night.
- facials prolly.
- dirty talk
- “hey, angel. lemme hear that voice, huh? what do you want from me? what do you want?”
- HE ALWAYS COMMENTS ON YOUR AFTERGLOW
- enjoys when you have a little trouble getting around the next day. Don’t worry, he helps you. That’s part of why he loves it. Getting to take care of you.
- he’s really into slow intimate touch
- but he does let a more animalistic side take over, especially after a long evening of teasing while you’re out at dinner.
- ur dinner
i’ve waited all day to let these thoughts and feelings out the way i want. i try and get my words straight and ordered but everybody talks and moves so fast they’ve already moved on, sometimes i am standing still seeming confident but completely lost. my body feels heavy and torrential, sometimes i just need sleep and sleep and sleep. even at my worst and saddest i am there for people, always reliable, never giving up on people, but where are they when i need them most? my silence is probably to blame, if i only i could straighten out my words properly to explain
Prompt: Reader is the child of Tony Stark. While talking to Peter one day you discover that Flash is bullying him, and decide to take matters into your own hands by showing up to Liz Allen’s party to put an end to it.
Requested by: n/a
Warnings: slight spoilers for Homecoming, mild swearing, bullying
Word count: 2,805
Notes: I know this isn’t the exact dialogue as in the movie but I’m just working off my memory so bare with me folks. Also this took me several day to write but I love it, even though the ending is kinda shaky but this is very long and I would enjoy you guys sent in requests! My masterlist is in my bio (it’s almost empty but that’ll change) along with a prompt list you can request off of if you want!
Aries:how have you been? Yes you with the angry eyes and the broken heart. Didn’t anyone tell you that smiling with your lips is the worst smile? Smiling with your eyes is the best love. I find it prodigious really, how you pick yourself up after being impaired.
Taurus: and even when everything stings, even when everything burns, even when you’re on the verge of giving up. You looked fear in the eye and said “Go to hell” because sorrow is a sign of the times, and your willpower is stronger than your emotions. You control you.
Hi, guys! Thank you so much for being super amazing about sending in your amazing requests and the really nice messages you all have left me. I will be going through them soon and will be writing them in a random order so don’t worry if you have yet to see your request being posted! I will post them eventually so check this POST out and send those requests in!
Okay, this is actually supposed to be something short but I don’t know why it’s over 2k words (it sounded and looked so much better in my head/imagination). So I’ve put the rest under the keep reading line. Thank you so much for sending in your prompt and honestly, I hope I did it justice. Enjoy!
PS: This is the only imagine that is queued, mostly because it is already super late on my side of the world so I will try to get some more done tomorrow morning and post them accordingly.
Being close friends with Peter entitles
you to a lot of things – like knowing his well-kept secret: The Spider-man.
Being his close friend also entitles you to sweeping in to save Peter when he
bails on his lovely Aunt May when he gets called to go for a brief mission.
“You owe me big time.” You tell Peter as
you park outside of his apartment. You turn the ignition off and unbuckle your
seatbelt before getting out of the car. “Do you think you will be long?” You
ask him, locking your car and heading towards the apartment building. Peter
tells you that he does not think he would be long – maybe a good thirty minutes
to an hour. “Alright, see you later, Peter; stay safe.” You remind him and
Peter chuckles before you hang up the call.
Once you reach the seventh floor, you head
over to their apartment room and just as you are about to knock on the door,
the door opens and you step back when May steps out with a big smile on her
face. “Hi, Y/N.” She presses her lips against your cheek and you give her a brief
hug. “How are you?”
You smile at her. May is such a lovely
person so much so, sometimes you want to smack Peter for almost always bailing
on spending time with May. “I am feeling fine – a little bit swamped with
assignments and the likes but nothing I can’t handle.” You inform her as May
locks the door and the both of you begin to head towards the elevator, heading
straight to the ground floor and in to your car.
“I am so thankful you can help me out – my
car is still in the workshop.” May buckles her seatbelt once the two of you get
in to your car and you shake your head. It’s not like you minded at all –
coincidentally, there are a few things you need to grab too. “So how are Peter
and you?” May winks at you and you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you
begin to drive towards the nearest supermarket – which happens to be a good twenty-minute
drive from the apartment.
You laugh sheepishly. “There is nothing
going on between Peter and I, May.” You glance at her from the corner of your
eyes. You have no idea why May think there is something going on between the
two of you – you have always been Peter’s close friend and you probably will
always be; you don’t even think you have seen him in that light.
May looks a little bit skeptical with your
answer but she nods her head, a knowing smile on her face. May has lived long
enough to recognize the looks the two of you would give each whenever you think
the other is not watching. Sometimes May would want to just make the two of you
have a sit down and talk about feelings but trying to push the two of you
together would probably result in something completely different. So she simply
minds her own business - only occasionally sticking her nose in this particular
area of the business.