i want to drown in tears

introductions.

you’re the last one to speak and the first one to leave— you don’t want to come off as rude, but the need to be around people sometimes gets drowned out and the i can handle this meter bursts into tears. trying to keep it together with a straight face is taped on your forehead, everyone knows that you’re a tad bit uncomfortable, but you’re still willing to go the extra mile for those that you love and that’s your strength. don’t let the loudness of social gatherings silence your quiet thoughts, alone time is valuable in a world where it’s normal to socialize, it’s normal to attend group meetings like we’re all in constant therapy to find out if we’re addicted to a human need to be accepted or addicted to a human need to understand why we want to be accepted. so after 7+ hours you are more than drained— the blood from your veins write onto soft skin and you’re flushed with why didn’t i just speak up. you lay on your bed with more thoughts, but sadly— none of them are yours and that’s why your heart keeps questioning why your brain feels so messed up. it’s not your fault. i get like that too. we love so much that when we finish loving, we’re like a heart made of bones and inside of that tiny heart’s chest, there’s another heart. that is why you’re so quiet when you’re alone, the songs are always loud. it’s like music speaks more clarity to you than a thousand gentle greetings from family and friends. it’s really not your fault, you just want to be alone and you know something? you are your own friend at the end of the day, you’ve spent so much time with people that it’s hard to know yourself at the end of the night. it’s okay to be still, to enjoy a night off without familiarized sceneries of him, her and them. just you.

anonymous asked:

is it possible to drown in your own tears (cuz thats how i will die)

Not easily but? Did something happen? Are you ok nonnie?? You can do me if you want to, alright?

anonymous asked:

mercy cockvore soon?

Yeah I have a question.

what the F U C K?

okay, two things.

one, I have a NSFW BLOG FOR THIS REASON.

and two. no. it doesn’t work that way. it’s never worked that way, janice!

I want to kiss monsters, and you have managed to offend my HONESTLY VERY HARD TO OFFEND sensibilities.

You took the kinkboat and sailed it right into a rocky outcropping. “ABANDON SHIP” the crew screams, but you, anon, sit at its helm. cold fire burning behind your stylish sunglasses as you and those around you drown, and from the shore, I am crying in a beautiful white dress. “Why’d they bring up vore?” I whisper, But we will never know.

A cold breeze blows over the ocean as one single tear rolls down my cheek. We will never know.

I am so tired. I am so tired. Of this weary heart, I hold inside of my chest every single day. My soul is filled with ecstasy but my heart remains an everlasting museum of moments that should no longer matter to me. And every day, I hear it quietly whispering to me, knocking on the insides of my being, softly, softly. It wants to know if I am ready, if I am ready now. And I hear the innocence - the understanding in its voice. My heart knows. Every night I hear it silently drowning in cascades of tears, of mourning, of hope for something better. Finally, something better. And every day when my heart asks me, softly, softly… my soul tries to find the might to give the right answer. And for all its power, its courage, its love, and passion, and wisdom, my soul cannot fix my heart.
I am not scared. Pain does not scare me. My heart will not be broken forever. I am just tired. I am just tired, for my heart - my heart sees you, and you only.
—  vellichxxr 
You don't understand

“Why are you so self-destructive?”

You don’t know what it feels like to wake up feeling like a mistake, every single day.

To hate yourself for being not bad enough for people to believe that you needed help.

To hate your scars as you add some more.

To make yourself throw up until your throat is sore.

To starve until you almost faint.

To work the hell out until your body is strained.

To see the mirror and cry on what you see.

To drown in tears and insecurity.

I fell in love with my own misery.

Because I know that I don’t deserve to be happy.


Kill me.

hamilton characters as club penguin bans
  • Washington: Stop screaming children it will be over soon
  • Jefferson to Lafayette: I could kill you right now, no one would hear you scream, I could go back and pretend to be you, they wouldn't even realize you were missing
  • Hercules: Fashion police, you're definitely under arrest
  • Aaron: You're tearing this family apart, god damn why can't you do it right
  • Alexander: 911 what is your emergency, what do you mean you're being murdered, people can't do that.
  • Jefferson: Put it on the menu
  • Alexander: You should jump cos no one likes you lol
  • Angelica: When I see stars I think of you, because you're only beautiful from a distance
  • Peggy: I heard you like the bad penguins, I don't want to brag but, I didn't sign up with my parents permission
  • Alexander: Help I can't swim
  • Angelica: Your point
  • Alexander: I'm drowning
  • Angelica: And I'm reading
  • Hercules: I live a hard life and work a dangerous job, i work as an officer for the fashion police
  • Angelica: That's not a good thing
  • Seabury: Thank you all for coming *no one is there*
  • King George: Have you ever heard of stranger danger
  • Aaron: Girl r u trash bc I want to take you out
  • Alex: I poisoned one of our glasses but I forgot which one
  • John: The way this dinner is going I hope it's mine
  • Madison to Jefferson: What the fuck purple
  • Eliza: Magic mirror, will I ever find love
  • Mirror: Ask again later
  • Alex: I like you
  • Ang: Me?
  • Eliza: No he meant me
  • Hercules: Dora your never going to get there with boots
  • Maria: I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch
  • Hamilton: Can I pay you in swag
  • Eliza: What the flipper
  • Peggy: Why would you swear like that
  • Maria: Was abandoned, is alone and sad
  • Washington: Locked up because my eyebrow game was to strong
  • Jefferson/Aaron: Smooth as butter
5
club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
love me, that’s all i ask for

aries: “i can’t love you because you will cause me to
              destroy myself with every breath and every touch”

taurus: “i can’t love you because you will tear down the walls
                that took me forever to build. i’ll be disarmed”

gemini: “i can’t love you because i will want to scream
                and my lungs won’t find the air i need to convey my love”

cancer: “i can’t love you because if you’re mine,
                   then i’m afraid i will drown both of us”

leo: “i can’t love you because what will become of me
                      when i let myself get lost in you?”

virgo: “i can’t love you because i’ll question, doubt
                      pace around until i get all your answers”

libra: “i can’t love you because you won’t understand,
                     everyone deserves love”

scorpio: “i can’t love you because i can’t trust you,
                      which weapon would you use to break me?”

sagittarius: “i can’t love you because finding a home in you
                      would keep me from travelling so freely”

capricorn: “i can’t love you because i’ve learnt to love myself,
                      and i’ll focus, can’t let you be in the way.”

aquarius: “i can’t love you because you wouldn’t understand
                      my mind, like i wouldn’t understand your heart”

pisces: “i can’t love you because first i’ve got to learn
                      how to love myself, like i love everyone else”

Joker Imagine: Harassed

Anonymous said:Can you do a story where the reader is going out with mr j and she wonders off in a club and a group of guys harass her and she’s innocent and just scared and Mr j goes crazy and protects her and just yea that’d be amazing and some Mr j fluff in it 😜


Originally posted by harleenfrancesqvinzel


J and you were at his club, trying to have a good time after a stressful week. It was Saturday night so the place was absolutely packed! ‘’I’m gonna grab a drink’’ You told your boyfriend and stood up from his lap. He slapped your bum gently just so the other man around saw that you were his and they would better not touch you. ‘’Be back soon or I’ll miss ya’’ He winked cheesily as you walked off.

It took a little while to get to the bar while avoiding drunk people. Just as you sat down on a bar stool and patiently waited for the bartender’s so come to you when they’re finished, some guys sat around you. It was strange that J fell for you because most of the time you were nice and kind. But sometimes your head just got all messed up and you could do awful things, but that was rare.

The man leaned towards you and one even stood behind you so you couldn’t escape. ‘’Hi sexy’’ One of them with a dirty smile winked. He had messy hair and alcohol on his shirt. They all stunk like ass. ‘’I have a boyfriend’’ You defended yourself and nervously tapped your fingers on the counter.’’Oh he doesn’t have to know. Let’s have some fun!’’ Another one chuckled and touched your back. Your breath hitched in your throat and you got nervous.

‘’Leave me alone’’ You tried to warn them. After all if they would continue, J would kill them - no doubt. ‘’Don’t be fucking boring’’ The same voice said again and suddenly you were pulled off of the chair. The men practically dragged you away from the bar, making you so panicked that you forgot what self-defence was. ‘’H-Hey!’’ You tried to yell, but the music was so loud that your voice drowned in it. Suddenly you were pressed against the wall harshly and you hit your head.

‘’I bet you have such a tight little cunt’’One of them said, but you were so scared that you couldn’t recognize who the voice belonged to. Your heart stammered in your chest and you wanted to cry. A hand touched your inner thigh and that’s when you felt tears stinging your eyes. ‘’Let me go!’’ You insisted and desperately tried to yank yourself free from their strong arms, but it was useless.

The hand rose and touched the lining of your panties, making the tears fall from your eyes. ‘’Stop!’’ You begged and wondered how no one saw this? On the other hand the three were towering above you, making it hard to see you. Before they could do anything else, you heard at least three gunshots and the person right in front of you, the one touching you, fell onto the floor. The other two stood there and turned white as sheets when they saw their friend dead.

Joker had noticed this and come to your rescue.

‘’Walk away baby this won’t be pretty’’ He growled and you saw two of his henchmen behind him. Two other henchmen walked up to the rest of the harassers and they were held tightly, not allowed to escape. Fear sunk into their faces and they knew they had fucked up real bad.

You walked away from the wall and watched you step so you wouldn’t step on the dead man. Tears gushed down your eyes and you were trembling. J nodded to his henchman Frost who then put his arm on your shoulder in a comforting way. Suddenly J walked up to the guy that had been on yout left side. ‘’You did something really dumb’’ J growled in his face madly. The people around you knew what was going on, but no one dared to step in whatsoever. 

‘’I-I’m sorry!’’ The man cried out in pure fear, but sorry wasn’t enough. Joker kneed his crotch and a painful yelp escaped his lips. J repeated the action and horror grew on the other guy’s face.  You watched as he started beating the guy like a maniac as the henchman hold the guy. ‘’No one..’’ J started and held onto his jaw tightly. ‘’..disrespects my queen like that!’’ He finished angrily and punched the man straight in the face andyou  could hear his nose breaking. It made me sick in the stomach.

A sob made Frost look at you again.You covered your mouth with your hands and tried to stay calm, but you were still shocked. Everything happened so fast. You felt disgusting since the guy had touched you there. ‘’Frost do me a favour and take her to my office. I bet she doesn’t want to see the rest’’ J sighed and faced you with his back, clothed with a golden jacket. Frost replied with a ‘’yes sir’’ and then started walking away with you beside him. People stepped out of the way as Frost took me towards the hall where there was an elevator.

As soon as you two got in the elevator, silence fell over. Tears were ruining your make-up and you kept trembling. ‘’I’m sorry miss’’ Frost apologized softly. He was one of J’s most trusted men so you had talked to him a lot. You just nodded and then wiped away some tears which was useless. The doors slid open and you walked to the left until you were behind a black door. ‘’J’s r-really mad’’You whimpered and sat down on a big chair that was in J’s office. Frost nodded shortly.

‘’He flipped the table when he was told what was going on’’ Frost let you know. You looked at him silently. J really cared about you which was weird. Why? ‘’Do you want anything? Water?’’ Frost suggested and saw how uncomfortable you looked. ‘’No thanks’’ You mumbled and then bit the inside of your cheek to hold back cries. 

A few minutes later the door opened and J walked back. His clothes were bloody and his knuckles were already bruising. He seemed pissed as hell. When he saw you sitting there, he hurried to you. 

‘’Oh baby..’’ He breathed out and put his warm hands on your arms and then got on his knees in front of you. He seemed relieved to see you there after beating people up.  You put your hand on his and tried to stay calm. ‘’Thanks Frost’’ J muttered and a second later he walked out, leaving you two alone. That’s when tears started to run down your cheeks again.’’Oh baby..don’t you cry..They can’t do anything to you anymore’’ He promised and gathered himself. He picked you up and then sat on the chair and placed you on his lap. 

‘’I’m sorry..I-I don’t know what happened..’’ You whimpered, still scared of the situation. J wrapped his arms around you softly. ‘’Shh..It’s not your fault’’ He reminded you with a calmer voice and started rubbing your back gently like you were as fragile as a feather. You nuzzled closer to him and then his scent calmed you down. You were safe with him

Fuck ya all.

I don’t need someone.

—  Sadness
tell me, body. tell me about how i swallowed my childhood
& buried it in the chasm between my ribs, letting it fester for years.
where you might have once found love, were only lesions.

tell me, body. tell me about how i sang my throat raw an ode
to my hollowed-out bones, winter-whittled by a constant yearning
for a missing piece of me — something i needed, but never existed.

tell me, body. tell me about how my feelings had me hazy with
obsession. what i wanted was beyond the horizons of impossibility
& i was never given any tissues to soak up my idyllic tears.

tell me, body. tell me about how i almost filled my lungs to the brim
with day-old bathtub water, learning that the only way i could drown
the sins out of myself was if i kissed my blessings & set them afloat.
—  tell me, body / n.s.
Jason

Batmom Series #1

Warnings: death, depression, mention of drowning

Word Count: 1136

Note: I have so many exciting plans for my Batmom series, but I wanted to start with this one that tugs at the heartstrings ~ K

—————————————————

Your head was submerged under the water of the shower, as you hoped it would drown out the sounds of the world. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between your tears and the water. It had been a while since you let yourself cry over what had happened and you only let yourself in the safety of your shower. You remembered it like yesterday.

“Y/N….” Bruce said warily as he came back with a body in his arms.

“Bruce who is that?” you asked afraid of the answer yourself.

“Y/N.”

With just the sound of your name leaving his lips you knew exactly who it was. The world collapsed around you as Bruce set your son on the table, and you cried out for him. The pain was indescribable; like someone had ripped away the gravity from your world. Blood-curdling screams dragged out between hyperventilated breaths, and Bruce shed tears from the sound of you. He had come over to put his arms around you as the two of you sobbed and mourned for the death of your child.

Everyone knew that you were different, the hollow look in your eyes, and the lack of true smiles that stretched on your face. The funeral had been one of the hardest days of your life, as you depended on Dick and Bruce as your life support.

“Mom I’m right here,” Dick said as he fell into your embrace. You cried as you held onto him; the only son of yours right now, and held tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When Bruce brought home Tim and Damian, you accepted them with open arms and they became your next two sons. You loved them both every bit as much as you did Jason, but a part of you would always be missing.

It was one day when Bruce and Dick had just gotten home from chasing after a new crimelord that went by Red Hood. You were coming back from restocking bandages when you heard a quiet and rushed conversation between Dick and Bruce that made you stop for a second to listen.

“We have to tell mom,” Dick whispered harshly to Bruce.

“No it will absolutely destroy her and we’re not sure yet.’

“She has the right to know, it’s not fair to her or anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, she is a good mom to Damian and Tim, but you and I both know that she has never been the same since him.”

“We can NOT tell Y/N Dick.”

“Tell me what?” you asked as you emerged from the shadows of the Batcave, holding the bandages that you had gathered for Bruce. ‘What is going to ‘absolutely destroy’ me?” you asked with air quotes and emphasis on their repeated conversation.

“Dick…” Bruce warned as you could see Dick start to open his mouth to say something to you.

“I’m sorry mom,” Dick said in response to the light warning.

That was all that was said that night that left you with a million questions popping in your mind. What could Bruce be hiding from you that Dick wanted to tell you so badly? And what on Earth did it have to do with Jason? It wasn’t until a couple days later that you would find out.

Bruce had gone out again and by now it seemed like everyone knew, except for you. You were in the Batcave cleaning when you got curious as to what was on Bruce’s computer; it was seemingly analyzing something. It wasn’t your fault that the sequence was finished and you saw what it was. A loud bang filled the cave as you dropped what you were holding, seeing what it read.

Red Hood, the new crimelord running Gotham is your son. Your son, the one that died in an explosion caused by the Joker.

“You weren’t supposed to see that Miss,” Alfred said from behind you as he had come to see what the loud sound was.

“He knew and didn’t tell me,” you whispered to yourself. “He knew and didn’t let anyone tell me.”

“I’m sure Master Bruce had his reasons.”

“Reasons to not tell me that my son is alive?!” you raised your voice, immediately regretting it as it was Alfred.

“Y/N I had my reasons,” Bruce said hearing the tail end of your conversation with Alfred. “He’s not the same Y/N. He’s running the drug game.”

“I don’t care he’s my son. And Dick was right I had a right to know. You didn’t have the right to keep this from me, Bruce,” you told him as you walked up to him indignantly.

“I’m sorry it was for your own good.”

After a bit of silence, you finally said, “I want to see him.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“I wasn’t asking,” you replied still upset that Bruce had kept something of this nature from you.

It had been several weeks since the last conversation you had with Bruce about Jason. You had watched as he and his father battled on top of the building that he had kept Joker in. You had seen all the headlines as people began to recognize him for working outside the law to clean up Gotham; for doing what Batman wasn’t able to. You had seen it all but you never expected to come into the Batcave and see him standing there in his new get-up. You walked up to him and put a hand to his new helmet.

“Jason…”

He flinched away from your touch a bit and didn’t reply.

“Please…just…let me see that you’re real,” you begged him as tears welled in your eyes.

He sighed but reluctantly pulled off his helmet. It was undeniable that he was Jason. He had aged since the last time you had seen him of course, but you could recognize your son anywhere.

You held your breath and hesitantly put your hand up to his face, and rubbed your thumb across his cheek ever so slightly.

“Hi Ma,” he finally said breaking the silence that had filled the air since he had gotten rid of his helmet.

Tears fell from your cheeks as he grabbed you and pulled you into a hug. He had grown so much and was taller than you, and you could feel his own tears falling onto your head.

“I missed you so much Ma, you have no idea.”

*sighs dramatically* *takes deep breath* MICKEY MILKOVICH DESERVED BETTER. IAN WANTED MICKEY TO KISS HIM, SO MICKEY KISSED HIM. WHEN MICKEYS FATHER WALKED IN ON THEM, HE STOPPED HIS FATHER FROM HITTING IAN AND TOOK A BRUTAL BEATING FROM HIM INSTEAD. HE WAS RAPED WHILE HIS FATHER WATCHED. IAN TOLD MICKEY HE WASNT FREE, MICKEY TOLD HIM WHAT THEY HAVE MAKES HIM FREE, THEN CAME OUT IN FRONT OF HIS HOMOPHOBIC FATHER AND TOOK ANOTHER BRUTAL BEATING. WHEN MICKEY FOUND OUT ABOUT IANS ILLNESS, HE WANTED TO LOOK AFTER HIM BY HIMSELF, THEN HE WAS WORRIED SICK AND TRIED TO GET HIM SOME HELP. IAN STOLE MICKEYS CHILD AND MICKEY STILL WANTED TO HELP IAN AND MAKE HIM BETTER. IAN WANTED MICKEY TO LOVE HIM AND HE DID, HE LOVED HIM SO FUCKING MUCH AND HE CARED ABOUT HIM AND IT STILL WASNT ENOUGH. Mickey. Fucking. Milkovich. Deserved. So. Much. Better. FUCK.

*drowns in my own tears*

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Twenty-Four

Summary: You finally come to terms with what happened with your mom, and you make the move to Vancouver
Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Tom, Shep, Briana
Words: 2.8k
Warnings: angst, emotional hurt/comfort
Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

Keep reading

aries - you have to tear down your own walls first; love isn’t the kind to bleed through the cracks. she wants an ocean. give in.

Leo - i hope one day you can break free from your glass house.

Sagittarius- your love has thawed the ice in me; one day the sea levels will rise to drown my coastlines, and I will welcome your waves with all the love my arms can carry.

Taurus - i saw you in a dream once. i used to hold you when you would cry, but i know she’s stitched your wounds and you’re not crying anymore. i hope you’ve found your peace.

Virgo - they told you all roads lead home, but i know you lost yourself somewhere across the Atlantic when you left everything for something you weren’t sure you even wanted. i don’t know who you are anymore, but i hope you find it– whatever it is.

Capricorn - do you still see me in your skylines? i’ve forgotten what it’s like.

Gemini - they say you have another face hidden somewhere beneath your dress, but i’ve never known anyone who so unapologetically belonged to themselves. but tell me, are you really at war with the world? or is it all just a front? will you ever be caught late at night taking your mask off? i wonder what you think when you’re alone.

libra - i caught you once with your face in a book– did you ever catch me looking?

Aquarius - i worry about the way you love, but i envy it, too. there is beauty in always giving, but there is a loneliness so deep in loving what cannot be returned.

cancer - you are the light in every room, you are the beacon in every storm. you are my manna from heaven, you are the house that keeps me warm.

Scorpio - there are cobwebs in the corner where you used to sit, but sometimes I still see your footprints in the dust. you have a way of haunting the people you loved.

Pisces - your words are featherlight, but your actions are made of iron. one day I pray you learn the weight of what you have done.

—  the signs as I have loved them // mh
Broken Dreams

MASTERLIST

A/N: This was requested by my lovely @lovethatmendeskid and I just loved the idea. I’m super nervous, legit shaking. I really hope you like it!

Word count: 3,502

I was sitting at the dining table in the kitchen, staring over at the full plate of - by now – very cold food. Food that – once again – weren’t going to be eaten.

I’d been sitting here for hours, but I stopped counting exactly how many that had passed by now. The more seconds that flew by, the more it stung in my heart.

Keep reading