i want to drink something

LOOK AT THIS.

LOOK AT THIS AND GASP IN WONDER.

The amazing @saladsnek made this for me and I am in love.

They recently took chibi and sketch commissions - I reblogged the post a week or two ago.  It was $5 for this masterpiece.  FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS.  WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE ONE YET BECAUSE YOU SHOULD.

Now excuse me, I’m going to grab my phone, sit on the couch and stare at this with shining eyes. If you need me any time in the next hour, that’s where I’ll be.

Gift giving

My aunt’s husband is a total fucking dickhead.

For some background, my mother’s family is Guyanese and mixed with Scottish, German and Amerindian, but mainly look black. My mother married a white Irish man (my dad) and I came out looking super duper pale with blue eyes and blonde hair. My brothers are both much darker because being biracial means getting a grabbag of genes.

My aunt (my mother’s sister) married a Nigerian immigrant who is lazy and racist. He came over for a PhD course (which he only passed because my aunt wrote his thesis and in the thirty years since has refused to work) and his distaste at being married into the same family as a white guy has manifested in a number of ways, from telling others that my dad has shouted racial abuse at him (witnesses confirmed he absolutely did not) to refusing to even speak to me because of my skin colour.

A few years ago he was shouting about something completely false and when I told him he was wrong, he tried to physically attack me for being ‘disrespectful’ and had to be held back by my dad and uncles. He was in his fifties and I was a sixteen year old girl.

I later heard from my grandfather that after he yelled at my aunt’s husband, he (aunt’s husband) said that if he faced any consequences (like being banned from family dinners or told off again for his treatment of me) he would take my cousins, leave my aunt and go back to Nigeria.

It’s been a few years since then. I’m an adult now, and I’ve steered clear of as many holidays as possible. I didn’t want my grandfather to have to choose between protecting me and seeing my cousins again. My grandfather made it clear he was on my side and would’ve physically removed the asshole from his home, but, of course, that would result in probably never seeing my cousins again. I didnt want him to make that choice.

My grandfather died this year. It was a pretty awful illness and I spent most of my time out of work inside of the hospital with him. My dad was there too - his father-in-law was the closest he had to a father. My grandfather taught me many things. Including that you shouldn’t allow people to ruin things for you. Things like family gatherings.

Now the thing about this dude is, on top of being lazy as shit, he’s super entitled. He fully believes that he is head of the family, despite everyone hating him and ignoring him. He believes he is owed deference and respect from all. He told my aunt that since I didn’t show him respect, she and my cousins were no longer to buy my xmas presents. I haven’t received a single one from them in years. So I set my plan into motion.

I don’t get paid a lot, but I saved from October onwards. I filled the tree in my grandfather’s old house with presents, one for every person in my family - bar one.

This morning, Christmas Day, I stood under that tree with my gifts in my arms and I gave every person there a present I had spent hours picking out. I went up to each individual, passing him several times while he looked at the gifts greedily, and handed everyone something they would’ve wanted. I got to drink in the look of guilt on the faces of my cousins and my aunt as I received one solitary present (from my mother’s brother) as they received a bunch from me. It was delicious.

Finally, there was one gift left under the tree - a single envelope. It said 'for all your help looking after grandfather’. I handed it to him. Inside were return Eurostar tickets to Paris for a long weekend. “Oh!” I said. “I’ve made a mistake! That’s my extra present to [Dad]!” And indeed, there was my father’s name on the tickets. He got to see every wonderful gift I got everyone else while he received nothing - nothing from me, nothing from my brothers who hate how he treats me, nothing from my uncles who hate him and only ever gave him things because my grandfather wanted to keep the peace to continue seeing his grandkids.

The cherry on top? I received a special gift from a friend today. He bought two square feet of land for me and an aristocratic title. I am now a Lady and even though it barely means anything, my family has been pretend bowing and scraping to me while ignoring him and his demands for respect and he’s now sulking and refusing to speak to anyone.

Merry fucking Christmas, Tony.

4

Wrex’s kids grow up with the best bedtime stories

and Shepard’s going to give Garrus a stress ulcer yet you just wait

(my go-to fighting method in me3 was to say “fuck it” to my guns and just biotic charge/punch anything that I could get my hands on, brutes very much included)

Give me violent, painful, monstrous transformations. And when they change back, let it be just as gruesome and heartbreaking as the initial change. I want them shivering on the floor, muscles smasming as their body puts itself back together, fever making their bruised skin flush an ugly red as they sweat and it’s so hot maybe they’re steaming. I want them barely-conscious, exhausted to the bone, desperate for something to drink, and feeling so, so hungry. In the aftermath of the more extreme transformations, they’ve burned up so much body fat and maybe even muscle mass that they’re nearly skeletal. Give them someone to take care of them, to murmur soothingly as they’re cleaned up and tucked into bed, someone who holds them up while they sip at some broth and water, or who holds their hands while IVs are inserted, to replenish lost blood and fluids. They need someone to talk them through the horror of the transformation, to reassure them that they’re still loved and wanted.
Give me gross transformations and tender, gentle, heartbreakinkingly sweet aftercare.

the houses

 (a rather abstract description of the houses, what they could look like and things they contain)

first house: You open a giant, dark wooden door. The knob is hot as you touch it but you don’t flinch and enter a even hotter room, you immediately start sweating. The air is burning and the windows are wide open. Bright light is shining trough some kind of living room, full of possessions of the creature living there. You look around and already know who must be the owner. Still,you ask who lives there and the strong Aries enters the room, his aura is radiant, vibrant, lively, present. “I am life”, he speaks clearly. “I am energy, physical appearance,the self, the will and the doing. I show you how you approach the world and open yourself to it.” 

second house: This door is made out of silver, with blue ornaments. It looks beautiful and must be of high value. With a ‘click’ the door opens, but it really is heavy, so you got to put more effort into the act of opening it. The room is rather minimalist, but some of the furniture and paintings must be old and very expensive. The Taurus stands in front of the high windows and looks out of it, the eyes tired, even a bit melancholic. “Is there something I can do for you?”, the Taurus asked, the voice deep and kind of magnetic. “I want to know who you are”, you ask slowly. The Taurus blinks slowly and answers: “I am development, self worth and win and loss, materialistic and emotional safety, setting limits and fighting for protection.” 

third house: As you come closer to the third door you can hear people speaking. Or at least someone who is discussing something with someone. Voices come and voices go, you are wondering how many people might be in there? The door looks asymmetrical and as you enter the room you are not sure if it’s an office or plainly a full room. As you look around you see that there are radios everywhere, from old to new and each of them is turned on. So that must be the voices. Notes over notes are gathered on the floor and walls, between them some  pictures pinned to the wall of different people. Right in the middle is the Gemini, both of them talking in a heat with a coffee in the right and a pencil in the left hand, constantly taking notes. “So, you must be..?”
“The Gemini!”, one answers excited. The other one continues, more thoughtful: “We are communication, the image, the way of thinking, and -”
“..the ability to adjust, the close environment, small adventures, our neighbors as well as-” 
“Siblings!”, the other one finishes the sentence and both of them laugh, clear as a bell.

fourth house: You hold on before opening this door. It’s made out of colored, dark blue wood, the knob is glowing and the night sky is painted on the dark background. As you open the door everything seems quiet, but you hear someone humming a lullaby, quietly. The cancer sits in the middle of the darkened room, old photo albums, books and letters are gathered around her and she looks like she would fall asleep in any second. You see that this is a bedroom, filled with belongings of her and you hear the sound of the waves outside somewhere from the opened window. As you sit quietly next to her and watch her looking through the photos, she smiles softly before answering your unspoken question: “You know what I am? I am emotions and the feeling of true belonging. I am the roots of your inner being, family and home, your psychological identification, the connection of the environment and private life. I am the intimacy, age and the unconsciousness.”

fifth house: This door is not wooden. It is made out of the finest marble you could find here on earth. The knob is long and golden, a Latin phrase is written on the shimmering marble, it says ‘Ab imo pectore‘, from the bottom of my heart. You can hear music playing loudly and with an easy sweep you open the giant. You enter an atelier, the light is glowing golden and the Leo dances in the middle of it. Everything look rather antique, but with such grace and vividness, you cannot stop yourself from smiling. The sudden laugh of the Leo sounds like an imitating roar and he tip toes to his lover on the giant bed next to the window. “You are even more beautiful than my paintings, I could never capture your beauty.” As his lover smiles and takes his hands, they suddenly point in your direction and the Leo turns around, his thick hair shining in the light. “What do you want, stranger?” You answer honestly and the Leo laughs again as you want to know who he is. “I am art, your passions, creativity and individuality. The will for live, joy, children, the partner, sexuality, the wish for admiration and appreciation. “

sixth house: This door seems rather modest, but pretty as well. It seems to be quiet smaller than the rest of the doors you have seen so far. It has small little patterns carved in it. You see a note in the middle of it, it’s telling you to knock before opening and so you do as it told you. “Yes, you may come in.” You enter a cold, neatly tidied up working room, the lights are dimmed but the creature - the Virgo - in front of you is uptight, being busy doing some work - whatever it might be - but still keep a gentle smile on the lips. “Sorry, I’m in a hurry, please don’t mind the mess.” Mess she says, but you cannot even see a bit of dust on the book shelf. “Please, sit down, do you want something to drink? I cannot let you stay for a long time, but I already know what you might want to know, if you don’t mind answering you question.” Surprised you nod. “I a, work and service, as you can see. I am duty, social integration, physic healthiness, one ones limits and the limit of the others. the balance between my own needs and the ones of the environment.”

seventh house: This door is already open. You are surprised and carefully look into the room. There is a comfortable looking bedroom, its furniture is held in warm colors, there is much light shining inside since the windows are very high and there are no curtains. The Libra is walking directly towards you, a soft smile on the lips and a glass of water in the other hand. “Hey, how are you? Just passing by?” You nod and ask if you are allowed to sit down on the sofa, Libra nods and sits down with you. “Sorry, I am just, ahm-” He pauses as he notes down something in a giant book with a dark, cracked leather binding.” You blink  a few times before asking what kind of book Libra is carrying with him. “Oh this? Sometimes I need to note everything down, every person that touched me, I’ve met, you know. You learn so much by being in touch with others.” You nod, it seems right what he says. “You know, I am the development of ones own identity by meeting others. Relationships to others, the You, mental interest, contacts and meetings, harmony, joy and beauty. The partner, the person opposite as my projection surface, cooperation, socialization, coming together and working together.”

eight house: This door seems made out of stone. You are struggling to open it. Are you allowed to open it? The atmosphere is tense and you hear a vibrant sound somewhere. Next to you  in the hallway is a small window, which you look out of. There is the deep, blackness of the night sky, golden stars are adorning it, among them the white, glowing, milky moon, who whispers sweet promises and goodbyes to you. Suddenly the stone door is opening, you jump in shook and your heartbeat raises as you see red glowing eyes watching you from the dark behind it. “Hello. What do you want”, a deep, echoing voice asks you. Your hands are shaking, you are frightened and at the same time deeply hypnotized. “You are Scorpio, right?” The eyes keep on starring. “I am.” You swallow and ask if you may enter. “I am the darkness that you desire, the occult, the interest, I am passion, desire, transformation, the taboo, the darker side and death. Are you sure you want to come in?” You do not hesitate, but nod instantly. “Hmpf.” A pale hand grabs yours, the skin tone seems too pale for something living, but indeed the hand is warm and you feel oddly safe. 

ninth house: You had to climb a long spiral staircase in order to get to this room. Exhausted you breath desperately for air before realizing that you are in a giant tower. This door is slightly opened and you hear music faintly whispering in your ear. “Sorry?”, you ask as you see the Sagittarius twirling around in the room, a couple of maps in the hand. The room is full of possessions, pictures, books, paintings and different furniture from all over the world. Suddenly the Sagittarius stops, his brown eyes vividly laying on you. “Oh hi, didn’t see you there”, he says as he lays down the old maps. You remark the exciting and interesting looking room, it smells like jasmine in here. “You are the urge for more and exploration?”, you ask and the Sagittarius smiles. “I am not only that. I am your conscious mind, always growing, always developing, asking for the meaning of life. I am wanting to expand one’ philosophy, higher norms and values, abstract way of thinking, education and different cultures, explorations and the way of understanding. I am your ideal, your religious and spiritual life.”

tenth house: You knocked almost three times but no one seems to open this door. You are wondering what might happened to the person inside it. You try pushing it as you hear a stricter, cold voice: “Try ringing the bell instead.” It came out of the intercom. “Sorry, I-” 
“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Come in.” The door opens from its own and you are intimidated by the big entry. A woman with a suitcase and silky trouser suit walks towards you, the sound of her shoes echoing from the walls. “Hi, I am Capricorn, Excuse me, but I do not like this knocking, there is a bell for a reason.” You look into her grey eyes and even though her facial expressions seems hard you know she is gentle. You apologize but she laughs it off. “I have a meeting at six, and I know what you want - Virgo already called me -, so I am explaining everything now - oh, here take a seat, coffee and biscuits are here on the table.” You do as she said but are somehow a  bit too nervous to eat. “I am the development and realization of ones goals in life or even destiny. I am the public, ones image, law, order and authority. Honor, responsibility, appeal and the position you take in society.”

eleventh house: “Hi, here do I live”, the shield hanging on the door says. Sadly it does not say who “I” is. You ring the door bell and the bell ringing sounds differently than usual. It is longer and you have never heard this kind of melody as a door bell before. “Come in”, someone says quietly. The light is dimmed, and you see Aquarius in front of his Laptop on his bed. “Sorry, had no time tying up, I am trying to connect to this live broadcast of the speech from this dude here, he’s responsible for this rather extreme party and - ah, it’s not working, damn it.” He closes the Laptop and offers you a seat on his bed. “Nice to meet you, want some coffee?” He offers you a cup but takes it back immediately. “Sorry, paint water in there, not coffee, ha. Nice jacket, you come here often?” You shake your head and smile. He is funny and unusual, you like it. “Actually, I wanted to know who..” 
“I am? Well, I am the development of your goals regarding society. The zeitgeist, friends, communities, reforms, ambitions and change. Emancipation, patronage, rebellion, humanitarian and social ideals, also hopes and desires. 

twelfth house: The last door. Your journey was long but everything has an end and you know that the person behind this door knows this feeling too well - that the circle is closing, ending and repeats itself afterwards. You open the door, knowing you do not have to knock. You step into radiant, glowing, crystal blue water. The water is flowing in circles and Pisces is standing there, the softest smile on the lips, eyes so warm and understanding, the head lightly tilted. You are enchanted by the tingling sensation of the water and as you grab Pisces hands, they are warm and soft. “Do not be afraid. I am endless devotion. Endless devotion without losing ground underneath you feet. I am the other meta-level. Delusional, transparent, drawn to fleeing from fears, but always love deep inside. Come, you can visit the other realm with me now.”

Just Ask - Part 3

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” You think, after being alive for this long and leading an team of superheroes, Steve Rogers would’ve perfected his communication skills, but apparently, when it comes to women, he just likes to assume, and that is never a good thing.

A/N: I’m continuously blown away by the support you guys’ve given me, I’ve been smiling from ear to ear since yesterday morning I look like an absolute moron.

Part 2

Keep reading

conversation means both of you are listening

another birthday gift for the incomparable kazliin! again, if you don’t know her, she’s the author of Rivals universe, one of the best yuri on ice fanfic out there, no lie. 

a running theme in her work has been conversations overheard, postponed, or avoided, and of course this results in ~shenanigans~. but to say that everything would be better if they finally talked would be overly simplistic, and after thinking of it for a while, i ended up writing this fic. i hope y’all (especially kaz) enjoy this! 

Summary: “you talk, but i don’t hear the words you’re saying,” said the pot to the kettle. 


Keep reading

My Timeline of Top Surgery & Recovery with Dr. Raphael in Plano, Texas.

This is just a master post of my top surgery experience & recovery. I had double incision mastectomy with nipple grafts in Feb of 2016. I also had lipo. The total was $6,750 ($6,000 for the masc and $750 for the lipo on the sides.)
Pictures will be made available at request.

Pre-Op:

  • Because I do not live in the Plano area I drove 5 hours to Plano the day before my surgery and had my pre-op apt that same day.
  • At pre-op I met with one of the nurses and with Dr. Raphael. This is your opportunity to talk to him about your chest, incisions, to bring up concerns and so on. In my case, my mom asked all the questions because she wasn’t as versed as I was on what was going on. 
  • At pre-op they give you a lot of things to sign, they take before photos, and just go over the basic run down of everything you need to do before surgery.
  • Try to plan your pre-op apt as early as possible that day. You will have to go get your prescriptions the day before your surgery and you don’t want to run into the pharmacy closing on you or any issues with the pharmacy not accepting the scripts. I went to Walgreens to get mine filled and they gave me a hard time which led to an hour run around between Walgreens and the doctors office.
  • I was prescribed extra medicines because I had issues with nausea in previous surgeries. If you have concerns about nausea tell the nurse at your pre op and they will get you what you need to prevent you from getting sick. They will walk you through possible medicines you may need based on your medical history and/or allergies you have.
  • The anesthesiologist will call you the night before your surgery. They will tell you not to eat anything too heavy for dinner and to make sure it is pretty bland. I couldn’t eat any dairy either. Also, clear liquids for the most part. Of course they advised me not to eat after 10pm for safety. 
  • Make sure you have a support system with you. First of, you can not have surgery without someone to be with you but I took my mom, my best friend and his brother with me. The surgery center also will not let you have surgery without people to care for you afterwards.
  • Pack or get yourself some button up shirts. You will not be able to get into t-shirt well if at all that first week or so. If you are trying to get into t-shirts that first week you will more than likely pull something as you are not supposed to be lifting your arms at all. (Think about the arm range of a T-Rex. That will be you.)
  • I am a pretty hairy individual so I shaved my chest a couple days prior to surgery. About a week before surgery you should start prepping your body for surgery. You will wash your chest with Betadine Skin Cleanser. You should get this information when you set your surgery date. If you don’t get it, email the office.
  • You will take 500mg of Vitamin C daily in addition to any multi vitamin you may be taking. DO NOT take any extra Vitamin E because it may cause some bleeding.
  • Do NOT take any aspirin or ibuprofen one week prior to surgery and up to two weeks after surgery. (i.e. Bufferin, Anacin, Advil, Motrin, Datril, Excedrin, Anacin-free, etc.)
  • NO SMOKING. Especially 1 week prior and two weeks after surgery.
  • Also, you will have to stop testosterone 2 weeks prior to surgery.

Surgery:

  • My surgery was at 7am and lasted about 3 hours according to my best friend.
  • When you get there you will check in at surgery check in desk on your right after you go through the doors.
  • When they call you back you will change out of your clothes into the hospital gown and socks. (I took this opportunity to take my last selfie in my binder.)
  • You then will be escorted to your surgery bed. The nurses will get you all cozy and warm (I personally overheat easily so I had to have them cool me down a little bit) and start your IV. The anesthesiologist will make an appearance to just walk you through some things. Dr. Raphael will also come in and draw the incision marks and other surgery related things on you.
  • After everything they will use your IV to put you to sleep and start wheeling you to the surgery room. I remember being wheeled to the back and everyone being all smiles. I knocked out right when then they put me on the surgery table.


Post-Op:

  • I woke up and I only remember them asking me if I wanted something to drink (sprite? ginger ale?). I also remember being wheeled out to the car and my best friend and his brother getting me in the car. I remember being placed in the bed in the room. I remember taking a post op selfie and being able to use the restroom by myself.
  • Wearing sweat pants and/or athletic shorts are a must after surgery.
  • My first meal after surgery was mashed potatoes and gravy. Something pretty light is always best.
  • You can only sleep on your back and you have to sleep elevated.
  • I personally had a problem staying awake the first 3 days after surgery or so. I would fall asleep in the middle of doing things. 
  • You will have a post op the day after surgery. Here they will teach you and whoever taking care of you how to care for your dressings for the next week.
  • Your chest is dressed with pads to soak any blood from your incisions. If you had lipo you will have a half pad on those entry points below incisions. Over that is 2 ace bandages that are wrapped tight to deal with swelling. (They are meant to be tight but if you have trouble breathing then loosen them. They are there for support.) The ace bandages will be wrapped over your chest and your lipo points. The ace bandages stay on majority of the time unless you are changing the pads. DO NOT MESS WITH YOUR TAPES OR ANY OTHER BANDAGES! Only change the pads once a day.
  • Dr. Raphael does not use drains.
  • I developed a minor rash around my lipo points because I had to much moisture there from the neosporin. If that happens to you stop putting the neosporin there.
  • At your one week appointment they will remove the dressings and you will see your chest for the first time.
  • Reveal day is very emotional for most people and I knew that I would forget everything that the nurses told me in terms of my continued aftercare. My tip is to have someone record the entire exchange so you can re-listen to the aftercare instructions later.
  • At one week I was told I could drive again, I could sleep on my sides, I could shower again, and that I could wear t-shirts again. (I personally waited to drive longer than that though because I did not feel comfortable at all.)
  • You will continue to wear the ace bandages for a month. It’s hard to think about binding after surgery but its to contain swelling, so don’t cheat your recovery.
  • For your nipple care, you will be given Adaptic (non-adhering dressing) that is meant to keep your nips moist. you will apply some vasoline to the Adaptic. Then you cover that with a gauze pad and medical tape or fabric tape. (All things you can find in the first aid aisle at the store. The nurses will give you some to get started.) You will do this until you run out of the Adaptic they give you. Which should be about a month to 6 weeks.
  • The tapes on your incisions will fall off on their own. Don’t pull them off. They should all fall off on their own around 4 weeks to 6 weeks.
  • After they fall off you will place provided silicone strips for your scars for a while.
  • At the time of surgery, I was delivering pizzas for a living. I will admit that I jumped the gun on returning to work too early. I ended up going back after 3 or 4 weeks. When you can go back is determined by what kind of work you can do.
  • At 6 weeks, my left nipple looked to have healed wonderfully. I pulled the last of my visible sutures, as instructed, that day. My right nipple still had a little spot to heal but seemed to be healing just fine.

Random Tips:

  • If you have a hard time taking pills like I do. You can try taking them with apple sauce.
  • Make sure you have Miralax and Fiber. Pooping after surgery is really important because the pain meds will stop you up.
  • Don’t over do it. Sit down and rest. I am the type of person that will do everything but I can not stress how important it is to sit down and rest and not try to be Superman. Watch your range of motion, even if it feels, “just fine”. It will have effects on your healing.
  • Netflix. Netflix. Netflix.
  • I don’t hear this referenced too much but for those of you who play instruments, I play violin among others, I would suggest waiting the entire 6 weeks before playing again. 

The nurses will honestly give you everything that you need for recovery. There is no need to worry about recovery supplies. They really give you everything. Make sure you read all of the paperwork they give you in terms of pre op and post op. I did have surgery in Feb of 2016 so things make have slightly changed. This is also MY experience and MY experience alone. My health is different than yours so please listen to the nurses and doctors. I shared my experience to help others have an idea on what to roughly expect.

If you have any questions, feel free to message me or send me asks!

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. 

You stare at the closed door in front of you and take a deep breath for the third time tonight. You’re standing outside your boyfriend’s apartment, like you’ve done a thousand times before. It’s the same chipped and faded paint on the wood you’ve seen that has been etched into your memory, along with the same useless doorbell that never works- But it all feels different, because of what you’ve come here to do.

You are completely, totally, hopelessly in love with Daveed Diggs. He feels the same way about you, you know he does. He’s expressed it breathlessly between kisses, in dorky love letters, and in a song coupled with Lin’s awkward beatboxing in the background. And because the two of you are in love, you want to do what people who are in love do.

In the year that you’ve been dating he has mostly managed to keep his hands off of you. You never went much further than the occasional hasty make out session on the couch, but lately you’d been wanting more. You came to his apartment with the intention of finally, finally taking that next step with him. You are worried about one thing, though, since you are an absolutely clueless virgin. You’ve never done this before, but have always imagined how it would go… your first time being so intimate with another human being. Thinking it through from the last couple of days, you convinced yourself you had nothing to worry about. He’s always been so caring with you, and you’re not a child. You know how this works.

You finally knock on the door, smoothing out your dress and fixing your hair as you wait. You’ve chosen to wear something that you know makes you look irresistible-a short, sleeveless dress, lace tights, and your lucky heels, all in black. It should definitely do the trick.

Soft footsteps come closer, and the door opens to reveal your boyfriend, messy haired and as cute as ever.

“Hey, Y/N,” He beams at you, his brown eyes shining with joy from your surprise of just randomly showing at his door. He’s so cute that you nearly forget to respond.

“Hi, Dave. Mind if I come inside?” You smile back, trying to add an edge to your voice that you hope is anything near sexy.

“Not at all, sugar,” He ushers you inside and kisses your cheek as you brush past him. “What inspired this visit?” He hums against your neck, slipping his arms around your waist.

“Oh, nothing, I just wanted to see you. That’s all,” You reply coyly.

“Well, you’re always welcome here. I can never get enough of you,” He’s still smiling at you, although it’s more of a smirk now. Maybe he knows what you’re up to. Still in an almost-embrace, you drift into the living room and onto the couch.

“Do you want a drink? I could get us some beers,” Daveed asks.

“How about something a little more… sophisticated?” You suggest sinking your vision to his eyes, hoping that you’re still being subtle.

He must have caught on to your plan, because his eyebrows quirk up, like they always do when he’s in a playful mood. “Coming right up, doll,” he says and whisks to the kitchen and returns shortly with two blood-red glasses. When he gives you yours your hands touch and linger. It’s as if every time your skin has come into contact, from the kiss at the door to this quick moment, sparks have flown between the two of you. Even making eye contact with him over the rim of your glass has you feeling hot all over.

It doesn’t take long before both of your glasses are drained and you’re basically in his lap, toying with the buttons at the top of his shirt. You kick off your shoes so you can bring your feet up on the couch. Looking down at you, he pulls you closer to him, as if it were even possible. It’s still chaste and innocent. You’re only playing with each other’s hair, looking into each other’s eyes. His gaze keeps flicking down to your lips, which you had agonized over for some time, delicately painting on the perfect shade of red. Then his lips are on yours, soft at first and then building up to something dangerous and reckless. There’s teeth, there’s tongue, it’s filthy and you love it. Your lipstick is definitely ruined but you couldn’t care less.

He pushes you onto your back, suddenly harsh and commanding. He has total control over you, and you’re just helplessly needy, arching into his touch and chasing those wonderful feelings he’s giving you. There’s that sinful thing he does with his tongue, and the way he keeps grinding his hips where your dress has ridden up… It’s too much and not enough.

“Maybe we should… Mmf… Go to your room?” You ask as he stops his assault on your lips to nibble at your collarbone.

He simply nods, holding your hand on the way there and looking at you like he wants to devour you. He throws you onto the bed, making you squeak in surprise. “I want you, and I’m going to take you… I’ll make you mine, babydoll…” He murmurs and literally tears your tights off your legs. The amount of force he’s using begins to scare you.

Your dress is the next to go. Thankfully, he manages to keep it in one piece. Now you’re fully exposed, except for a thin lace bra which he makes quick work of. He’s straddling you at this point, and you can feel his erection straining in his skinny jeans. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N.” He growls as he takes in the expanse of your bare body. Even though it’s a compliment, it sounds almost predatory.

His clothes come off quickly. You want to take a second to let the fact sink in that you’re skin to skin with the love of your life, but he’s moving so fast you don’t have the time. It’s too frantic. Every touch is fleeting; every brush of your lips is too rushed.

“It’s been such a long time, sweetheart. You’re so gorgeous. I might have to skip the foreplay. I need to feel you, now,” He growls and pounces on you, and starts rutting his cock against your opening. It’s nice- but your eyes widen when you realize exactly how big he is. You were not expecting it to be so thick or so long, and you find yourself wondering how on Earth that is going to fit inside you. “Mmm… You’re going to feel me for days. You’ll be so wrecked when I’m through with you…” He’s pressing harder, sending prickles of pain throughout your body and your heart is racing. You want to back out, but it must be too late now. He’s starts to force it in you and it’s too much too soon- you cry out in pain.

“It’s okay, it will be better soon, it’s just been a while-” he begins to soothe you, his eyes closed and running his hands over your arms.

“No, no, no- I’m a virgin. I’m a virgin, Daveed.” You blurt out.

“You’re what?” He stops immediately, and pulls out to scoop you up in his arms.

“I’ve never had sex. I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” tears practically falling out as you admitted it. “I thought it would be fine, but you were being so rough, and you were bigger than I expected and…” You trail off, pressing your face into his bare shoulder.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry Y/N.” He strokes your hair, kissing your forehead softly. “I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d done this before. I don’t know what I was thinking. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have made it better for you.”

“I don’t know.” You sigh. “I wanted everything to go smoothly.”

“That worked out really well.” He says sarcastically, trying to pull a joke. He must have noticed your worried expression because he adds, “I’m not mad at you, babe. Don’t worry. Just be honest with me in the future, okay?”

You nod meekly, and then smile at him, which he returns happily. Then he wraps you in another hug. “I didn’t say we had to stop. I only said we should go slower., You whisper, glancing at him and biting your lower lip.

“Will you be okay if I touch you?” he asks cautiously. He seems more afraid than you are, now. You find yourself unable to believe that he cares about you so much.

“Yes,” you breathe out.

He lets his hands run over you, in no rush. This time he worships you; he treats you like a queen. Daveed memorizes every dip and curve, delicately tracing every freckle and scar. It seems like an eternity before he reaches the place you need him to be. His fingers touch your clit hesitantly at first, but he moves faster as you let out whines and gasps of pleasure. “Do you like that, sugar?” he asks, smirking, obviously proud of the reactions he’s retrieving from you.

“Oh God, yes…” you cut yourself off with a moan when a finger enters you. It’s seconds before he finds the spot that has you begging for more and bucking into his hand. Then it’s joined by another, and you wince at the stretch but never stop the stream of noises and incoherent curses leaving your mouth.

“So wet… I think you’re ready, doll,” He retracts his fingers and guides you onto your back. He’s above you, now; knees braced on either side of you. You’re still shaking, but he’s still lending you soothing touches. Every time you look at him you find yourself reassured, somehow. It reminds you that all he wants tonight is to make you feel as special as he thinks you are. “I’ll be careful, I promise,” Daveed motions and kisses your forehead. Then he’s pushing in, as slow as he promised. He watches you carefully, ready to pull out at the first sign that you’re in pain. Your eyes are shut tight as you try to ignore the slight stretch. “Hey, look at me.” He tilts your chin up and you look at him. He’s absolutely bewitching like this, towering over you, beautiful eyes glinting and full of an intoxicating combination of adoration and lust. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you say. He takes this as his cue to slide in fully, eliciting a pained whimper from you. Immediately he’s planting quick, sloppy kisses to your neck, mumbling apologies and promises about how good it’s going to feel. You’re not sure if you believe him until he starts to move. Somehow he’s managed to reach a place you never knew existed, and each time he rubs against it you’re overcome with such an intense want for him. You moan out loud, shamefully loud, and he grins against your skin. Heat spreads over you, radiating from every point where your body connects with his. He keeps making all these wonderful, lewd noises- groans and breathy “oh fuck”s and unintelligible praise. The unhurried roll of his hips is driving you mad with bliss, to the point where you’re almost delirious.

“You’re so perfect, Y/N,” He groans. You try to respond, but you’re so overwhelmed by aching need and the heavenly drag of his cock in an out of you that you can’t manage more than desperate panting. You’re trembling beneath him, consumed with unfamiliar feelings and a fire that keeps threatening to break loose in your body. Unfathomable ecstasy washes over you when he finds your clit again, rubbing it to the beat of his thrusts. “I want to see you become undone for me,” he purrs.

So you do. It’s everything you thought it would be- heaven, paradise, a high you know you could never get from any drug. Your release triggers his, and you watch his face contort in euphoria.

Still in a haze, you untangle yourselves. He pulls you close to him, your back against his chest. Both of you are sweaty and practically burning up from your previous activities, but you don’t mind at all. “That was… amazing. You’re amazing,” He mumbles into your hair.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” You giggle, exhausted from your adventure.

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” You turn to face him and he props himself up on an elbow.

“Of course I do. I love you, too,” you say, and you mean it. He smiles and pecks you on the lips.

“I am sorry about your underwear though…”

(( its been a tough couple of weeks, i think we could all use a little break))

Please Read! This Is Very Important!

Last night, my boyfriend, Brandon, wanted to take me out for a dinner date. He took me to one of our favorite restaurants (also the one we went for our first date), which is a local Korean restaurant in our area. We had an amazing dinner and after a while decided to head back to his house to spend some time with his family.

We were on our way home when we came across an intersection where we had a green light. I don’t remember much after we crossed through the intersection, except a ringing in my ears and lots of sirens. The next thing I remember, I was laying in an ambulance with paramedics around me.

They explained to me that as we had passed through the green light at the intersection, a drunk driver had passed through a red light of the intersection and hit us on the driver’s side, breaking the window. Brandon’s car was totaled and we both ended up going to the hospital. I ended up with a broken ankle, around 50 total stitches because of 7 glass wounds, and a concussion. Brandon ended up with a broken arm, many stitches, and had to get surgery for some internal bleeding. Luckily, the accident wasn’t fatal.

This whole accident could have been avoided, if that man had made a responsible decision to not drive when he was drunk. After my accident, I decided to look into how big of a problem drunk driving is because it could affect anyone. I learned that around 10,000 people die from being involved in a accident with a drunk driver and every 2 minutes, someone is injured in a drunk driving accident.

This statistics shocked me and I want to do something about the drinking and driving problem. I decided to start with the tumblr community and I hope you will help me raise awareness.

I pledge to never drink and drive!

Please reblog this to raise awareness and pledge that you will never drink and drive!

I never want anyone to have to go through the scars that me and my family went through. One stupid decision could cost someone their life and a family could lose a loved one, so please never make that stupid decision! Thank you for reading and thank you to anyone who pledges to never drink and drive.

Gift giving.

(warning: long story)

My aunt’s husband is a total f*cking d*ckhead.

For some background, my mother’s family is Guyanese and mixed with Scottish, German and Amerindian, but mainly look black. My mother married a white Irish man (my dad) and I came out looking super duper pale with blue eyes and blonde hair. My brothers are both much darker because being biracial means getting a grabbag of genes.

My aunt (my mother’s sister) married a Nigerian immigrant who is lazy and racist. He came over for a PhD course (which he only passed because my aunt wrote his thesis and in the thirty years since has refused to work) and his distaste at being married into the same family as a white guy has manifested in a number of ways, from telling others that my dad has shouted racial abuse at him (witnesses confirmed he absolutely did not) to refusing to even speak to me because of my skin colour.

A few years ago he was shouting about something completely false and when I told him he was wrong, he tried to physically attack me for being ‘disrespectful’ and had to be held back by my dad and uncles. He was in his fifties and I was a sixteen year old girl.

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