Alok Vaid-Menon is a queer South Asian artist and activist who has performed and organized with queer movements in the United States, South Africa, Palestine, and India. They currently organize at the Audre Lorde Project, an activist organizing center for queer people of color based in New York.
JELENA DRAMA... once again. What's love without pain?
This isn’t an exposing post but… I don’t know. I feel like I have to speak up about this new Jelena drama.
IMPORTANT: I’m talking from the perspective of a Belieber. I’m not a Selenator so I don’t know what’s going on with them. Surely they are also saying shit about Justin and Jelena. But I have no idea.
Once again new pictures of Justin and Selena are everywhere on the Internet. And no one can deny that they are more than friends. But I think that they have been together for months. Do you remember Texas? Do you remember Coachella? I’m sure that they have been together all this time, but they kept their relationship in the shadows. Like Selena’s song says. And it’s not the first time. Last summer they did the same. Even an interviewer asked Selena which one was her favorite song from her album Stars Dance, and she said:
“There is a song called Undercover that I’m really obsessed with right now”
This was on May/June and we all know why she said that.
And what comes with Jelena? Hate, hate, drama and… Did I mention hate?
I’m ashamed of my own fandom. Surely there are Selenators who hate Justin and don’t want to see Selena with him, but the 97% of hate comments against Jelena are from Beliebers and not Selenators.
Why this hate? 3 words explain it:
You can deny it, but that’s the truth. There are 3 types of “Jelena haters”, even if the first and the second one are almost the same.
I want to clarify for the 100th time that I’m not a Jelena Shipper. I’m not even a Selenator. But I will always respect the girl who makes him happy. And all the Beliebers should do the same.
I’m tired of seeing stuff like:
“She made fun of him on the TV”
“She broke his heart”
“I don’t want Journals 2.0”
“She doesn’t love him”
“She uses him for fame”
“She never supported him during his rough times.
"She made fun of him on the TV”
Yes, we all saw the moment when Selena says “that makes two of us”. But everyone forgets her apology just some days after that interview. And she said “sorry” TWICE!
Johnjay:“Did you really make Justin cry?” Selena:“No its fine guys, I care about him a lot”
“Spur of the moment. It’s entertainment. I didn’t make him cry. I care about him a lot.”
And I still have something else to say about this that I will write at the end of the post.
“She broke his heart”
If you think this, then it’s because you have never been in a serious relationship.
A relationship is something about 2 persons and not only one. And I still don’t get why a lot of Beliebers forget this. I know that a lot of you are 16 or even younger, and you have never been with someone in a serious relationship, but this is common sense. She broke his heart, yes. But he broke his heart too.
As I’ve said on one of my posts:
“I don’t want Journals 2.0”
That’s the same as: I don’t want new music by Justin.
How many times has Justin said that he writes what he feels? How many times has Justin said that he shares his feelings with us through his songs?
With Journals he showed us his feelings after his break up with Selena. How he still loves her, how he wants her back, how he wants to apologize for his mistakes, how she walked away from him and more.
I think that a singer who doesn’t express his/her feelings through the music that he/she sings, ISN’T a good singer.
Do you like the song “Be Alright”? Yes, right? All the fandom loves “Be Alright”. But a lot of them don’t know that this song IS DEDICATED to Selena and Yael (Dan’s wife). You can check this fact on Justin’s book Just Getting Started or on his Billboard interview named Just In Time.
Journals may have a lot of songs talking about a broken heart, but Believe has a lot of songs talking about true love and happiness with the loved one. Never forget this.
“She doesn’t love him”
Are you in Selena’s mind? Are you in Selena’s heart? Are you Selena’s best friend? How can you know what she feels?
YOU CAN’T, so don’t judge. She wouldn’t have wasted 4 years of her life with Justin if she doesn’t love him. ¿Promotion? I will talk about it right after this, but even a fake relationship for promotion never lasts 4 years.
You don’t know what she feels, so you can’t say a thing about this. Justin wouldn’t waste his time with someone who doesn’t love him. He’s smart to know what’s going on. Justin and Selena have been friends for 6 years now. I bet no one knows Selena as much as Justin does.
“She uses him for fame”
I never said something disrespectful on this blog (because the words innocent or immature aren’t nasty words) till now.
Are you dumb or…? I’ve said time ago that I will talk about this in the future (because Angela wrote a post talking about the fakeness of Jelena), but their relationship isn’t fake at all. Maybe I know this because I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and I can understand the feeling, but anyway it’s not something hard to see.
Have they used their relationship to promote some stuff? YES! But that doesn’t mean their relationship is fake. They can be perfectly in love and at the same time they can do something special to see everyone talking about them.
And why everytime Jelena appears people say that Selena is using him for fame? Why not Justin?
Yes, Selena is working on an album right now, she’s with her “Dream Out Loud” collection, she has a “secret project” and she also has a movie coming out on September (even if it was already released on iTunes in UK and USA). I guess that the movie won’t have promo like premieres and interviews.
But Justin has released a new fragrance YESTERDAY (in the middle of this Jelena drama), he has been working on 3 new albums since Christmas, and it seems that we will have a new video soon. And he also appears on “So You Think You Can Dance” + Adidas Neo promo. And if that wasn’t enough for you, it seems that he will appear on “Ridiculousness” on June 28th.
Do you want more? People hated Justin since the beginning, but for the last month he has been receiving more hate than usual because of those racist videos. But suddenly everyone forgot about those videos because they are talking about Jelena. Coincidence? Nah. Not really. As I’ve said before, I’m pretty sure that they have been dating for a while now, but if these days we are seeing proofs of their relationship is because of the racist drama. People don’t talk about Justin being racist anymore. Now people talk about him and Selena. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t in love and their relationship is fake. That means that they did a smart move to focus the attention on that relationship instead of on the other drama.
Do you remember how Erin’s bestfriend wrote “Selena Gomez” instead of “Pattie Mallette” on Twitter? How can someone write Selena instead of Pattie?
I’m one of the few who think that Jelena benefits Justin so much more than Selena. Actually everyone who isn’t part of a fandom likes Selena… till she dates Justin. Then those persons call her a lot of bad things because she’s back with Justin.
Selena is the one who gets the hate on that relationship. Hate from fandoms and hate from random people. Yet she gets back with Justin. If that isn’t love then I don’t know what can be.
“She never supported him during the rough times”
Excuse me, I didn’t know that you are aware of every single step that Selena does. Maybe she never said anything on Twitter while Justin was in trouble (drugs, jail, racist jokes, mop bucket and more). But how can you know that she didn’t call him? I’m pretty sure that she did and she gave him all her support.
Justin’s family, crew and friends LOVE Selena. If she’s as bad as a lot of Beliebers claim, Justin’s circle wouldn’t love her. Justin’s circle knows Selena, but we don’t. That’s the big difference. If someone knows what’s going on with them, isn’t you or me.
“I will always care about Justin no matter what. My instinct after all we have been through is to protect him from any harm… Whatever he is going through, I want to see him come out the other side stronger.”
So think about this next time you want to talk about Selena and Justin.
I’m not a Jelena Shipper (I actually think that they are better as friends), but I will ship whoever makes him happy. If that girl was Miley instead of Selena (for example), I would ship Jiley. And that’s what all the Beliebers should do, because at the end of the day, he wants to know our opinion about his music, and not about his girlfriend. We are no one for him when it’s about his personal life. Something absolutely obvious.
“He’s here thanks to us”
Not really. He’s where he is thanks to his mom for posting those videos, thanks to Scooter for finding him and thanks to Usher for helping him.
If it wasn’t for them, we would never have known who is Justin Bieber.
You don’t like Selena? Okay. No one forces you to like her, but at least show some respect to her because she’s as human as you. She has feelings as you. You defend Justin when people hate him, but then you hate on Selena. That doesn’t make sense and that makes you an awful person.
And I’m sick of seeing people saying how she mocked Justin on that interview. Yes, she did. And she apologized. Now tell me, what are you saying about those racist jokes? You all are like:
“He was little and he apologized. I don’t understand why people keep talking about it and making a big mess of those videos.”
Well, you are doing the same thing with Selena’s comment. She was heartbroken and it was the spur of the moment. She apologized publicly (as Justin did), but it’s been more than 1 year and a lot of Beliebers are still talking about it. Then you shouldn’t say that people have to forget Justin’s racist jokes if you can’t forget what Selena said.
“Za and Khalil are shading Selena”.
Sure. Because those Instagram captions can’t be about their personal life or lyrics from one of their songs. Let me remind you that Za and Khalil are rappers. The fact that you are obsessed with Jelena, doesn’t mean that everything you see is about them.
*[This post was written on June 19th of 2014. These pictures were added on June 21st of 2014. The first one is from June 19th. The second one is from June 21st.
Basically Za called “ignorants” to everyone who thought that he was shading Selena. And he also called you “immatures”.
He wrote: “Grow up”.
And I will say bye with this picture. I still remember that video. I hope you do too.
PS: I’m seeing tweets saying that Justin didn’t stop to take pictures with the Beliebers who were waiting for him last night outside the studio because he was with Selena.
Let me point out that it was 2AM. Let me point out that as we saw on shots, he was sleeping. Let me point out that he didn’t leave the studio with Selena. Let me point out that Selena stopped. Let me point out that surely Justin saw all the hate which his own Beliebers have been sending to his girlfriend lately.
Don’t be surprised if he’s kinda angry with us. You are fucking up Jeliebers thanks to your immaturity and jealousy.
I have like 8 posts exposing Angela and the number is increasing everyday.
I am really loving the FAQs on Ina Garten’s website.
Today, I moved out of Illinois. I write this from a hotel in Indianapolis. For the past week I have not slept. I have been so busy and stressed. I have lost so much weight simply because I have been exerting myself and I’ve been so busy. My pants keep falling down. My belt is confused. It’s unpleasant. I sweated about a gallon today. Tomorrow, I will see the apartment I rented sight unseen. I am nervous.
Friday, I will move into that apartment if all is well. The movers showed up this morning after they got lost. The driver said, “Damn, this is the country,” and I raised an eyebrow because he is from the small town where I am moving and if he thinks where I just left is country, it really is as bad as I thought it was. The movers were supposed to pack today and pick up tomorrow but I really don’t have much stuff save for books. They realized they could do it all in one day so that’s what they did. When they saw all my books, I think they wanted to cry. I entertained some fantasies about them as they labored. I was interviewed for NPR’s Weekend Edition in the middle of today’s activity.
I was not happy in Illinois. This was not entirely the state’s fault. I moved there under pretty emotional circumstances at a pretty complicated time in my life. Then I rebounded into some man mediocrity. I never really found my people there though I did make a handful of good friends. I will miss them but we will still see each other. I am not moving that far. I was not happy in Illinois but I had the most creatively productive years of my life. I wrote a novel I am so fucking proud of and that I love. I am sure it is not cool to say that but I love Miri and Michael and Mona and Lorraine. I love their story. I wrote that book, staring out onto a grassy field, a meadow day after day, for hours a day, during a summer. I wrote that book because I needed to. Writing that book helped me. It gave me something to do. It allowed me to pretend I was not living in a placed I really hated. That’s one of the reasons why the book means so much. And as I said before, it’s the truest expression of who I am.
When she read my novel, and my essay collection for that matter, I held my breath because I didn’t want to scare her away. I didn’t want to disappoint her. Because of how she knows me, all my skin was gone when I gave her those books.
I fucking hated Illinois. I am really allowing myself to feel that tonight because I am so tired that I have no filter. I never met one of my neighbors in four years. Part of that is me. I am not good at meeting people. Once I know you, yes, I am good but getting there is a challenge. They never talked to me. I have never experienced more racism in my life. That town is fucking racist. Every single day I swallowed some petty racist bullshit. Now that I no longer live there, I feel comfortable saying this. The world is racist, but that town is extra racist. I loved my job, and particularly my students, but my soul was dying in that town. I am not being melodramatic when I say this. I hated living there.
I don’t know if I am going to a better place. I am going to a different place. I am going to a different school. It doesn’t feel like the right home for me but it feels better than the place I have left. It feels much, much better. I am so grateful. I am excited to get to know my new colleagues and students. I hope I make some friends. I will very much try. I am going to be working on my body. There was this honest, necessary, sort of scary but very good conversation we had that made me realize it is time. I’ve known it is time and I’ve said it is time but something in that conversation made me feel, in my bones, that it is time. I’ve never been able to have such open, difficult, loving conversations with anyone. I am so confused, mostly because I didn’t know that this kind of connection with someone was possible. I just… did not know and now I do and it’s amazing and terrifying. Nothing else comes close.
I don’t know how long I am going to be in the new place but I do know if and when I leave it will be because I am almost forty and I can’t have my job be my whole life anymore. I need more. I want more. I know where I want to be. I may not ever get there. I don’t know. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Worst isn’t the right word. There is no worst.
None of this is making sense. I’m tired.
Today I signed with The Tuesday Agency so I now have a speaking agent. Amazon.ca included An Untamed State as one of the best 25 books of the year so far. This magazine, Bookaholic, included An Untamed State as a potential contender for the Pulitzer. I mean, there’s no way but that someone even thinks such a thing feels good. It feels amazing. A part of me, the foolish part of my heart is given over to absurd fantasy because come on… it would be a dream of all dreams. But it was just nice to see that inclusion. I’m set. Good things are happening for Bad Feminist and I will tell you about those things soon. I have worked so hard. I have been relentless. I am writing an essay about why. It hasn’t felt like hard work because I love reading and writing. I love what I do. I am grateful I can do what I do. The past several months have, professionally, been indescribable and far beyond what I hoped for when I was drowning in rejection.
It feels greedy but I don’t want to experience all this goodness alone. I want to share it. I want too much but I own that. I want too much.
There is someone. It feels more and more real. We keep falling deeper. Is there a bottom or will we always be falling. It’s been this way for a long time but now it’s becoming clearer. It’s complicated beyond measure but I’m not alone in this. I know this to be true. For the first time in my life, I do not doubt where I stand with someone else. That may not mean what you assume it does. I say a lot here but there are some things I’m not going to say here because this blog is my choice, not ours. Because some things don’t belong here. Because I have no idea what I am doing.
But success is not just hard work. There is luck involved, timing, convergence, I don’t know. All of my writer friends work hard. They deserve this kind of thing too, whatever this is, however fleeting it might be. I am greedy for all of us.
i am just a girl who writes.
Here is the world in the cup of my hands. Take it.
I keep thinking about my twenties which were so incredibly shitty in so many ways. I was really depressed and insecure and I made some horrible choices. I did things I’ve never told anyone about because I was still punishing myself. I don’t need or want to write about these things but they stay with me. It’s not shame… it’s something else because I understand who I was then. I understand why I was that way then. I forgive myself. I say that and realize it is true. I forgive myself for the choices I made back then. That girl had been through hell and then more hell and she didn’t know how to ask for help.
And I was broke. I remember the pay day loans with the outrageous interest. There was so much ramen. Filling the car with like $5 at a time. Phone getting cut off. No health insurance for years and rarely going to the doctor. I had to get a cat scan once, I can’t even remember why, and it took me years to pay off. I didn’t go to the dentist for years. This is not a sad story because I am lucky. This is just life and frankly, I’ve had it easy in terms of material comfort. I am privileged. I always have been. I had a safety net because my parents would never have let me starve or be homeless, but I was on my own, as an adult should be, and I was often very very broke. I was writing and no one was interested in that writing. I know, now, that I was putting in the work. I still am, of course, but back then I was just beginning to figure out how to use my voice in both fiction and nonfiction. I had a lot to learn and so I wrote and wrote and wrote and read and read and read and I hoped. I was going to school and then working and getting better and better jobs and then more school and I was becoming a better writer and very slowly, a better person. I became less broke and then I was fine, not making that much but always being able to handle my business. Today, I moved and moving is expensive but I could afford it. As I stood in my empty apartment before heading out, I sobbed. That is not something I am prone to doing. I allowed myself to feel everything. I allowed myself to acknowledge how far I have come. This isn’t bragging. This is an atlas.
During my twenties, my personal life was the hottest mess. The hottest. It will never be that messy again because I’ve grown up and I finally give enough of a damn about myself to avoid burning myself in that kind of fire. I’m still a mess but I’m a different kind of mess now. I can generally identify what the mess is and where it’s coming from. I am learning to ask for help, slowly. I am learning a lot of things.
My eyes are wide open. They are prepared for whatever they might see.
I am always afraid to say I am happy. I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy.
I… am happy.
I try to keep all this feeling in a safe place, a neatly contained place because that is where it will always have to stay. And then there is the intensity of want. Raw urges. Engulfing. Crushing. Tenderness and fierceness, both. Possession. The container is a lie. The container has been shattered. She has found the way to my warm. She has taken my atlas into her hands. She traces the wildly arcing lines from beginning to end.
I can’t even put in words how thankful I am for George in my life. He’s literally the little ray of sunshine in my life. Honestly, I get buttlerflies just thinking about this dumby. George has the power to either make me smile like an idiot or cry like a baby. I’ve cried because I couldn’t meet him once he was here, and I was really upset because all I wanted was to hug him, but I couldn’t. But as soon as I saw him on stage I forgot everything. Just seeing his smile makes my day 54977345 times better. I love reading George’s geeky tweets, I love the way he’s so easily distracted when he’s in interviews, or the way he dances on stage, or the way he fixes his air, or they way he shakes his eyes, or the way he giggles, the way he puts everyone about him. This list goes on and on. This boy’s heart is bigger than all the world’s population’s hearts together. I love every single thing about George. Every little detail most people don’t notice. Most people love him because he’s beautiful. Yes he is, oh boy, probably one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever seen in my life. But I do love him for every single imperfection of his, that makes him perfect. I just really love him and I get lost in words when people ask me why I love him so much. Even if I end up never meeting him, I’ve loved him for a thousand years, and I’ll love him for a thousand more.
I am angry that I had horrible parents, that I lived in a shitty house that should have been condemned, and that I didn’t get a chance at having a good childhood.
I am angry that the most love and friends I’ve had is when I finally ran away and went missing, and everyone was pretending that they actually gave a shit for once.
I am angry that after my first few weeks alone on the street, halfway across the country from where I left off, I befriended a boy who convinced me that the man asking for my help was safe.
I am angry that I needed money badly enough to be convinced to give him a ride to a drug-drop off for a mere 10$.
I am angry that it wasn’t just five or ten minutes like he said, and instead soon became clear that it was going to be there as long as he wanted.
I am angry that he kidnapped me, using intimidation and confusion while he tried to force me into trusting him. Forcing me on my toes as he ordered me around, literally dragging me from location to location, making me question every next second while he claimed to be my friend, and that he wanted to give me the world.
I am angry that he called me baby, forced me to call him Papi, and that he constantly reassured me that he was going to have sex with me, making me dread my rape hour after hour as he smiled and held my hand.
I am angry that he made me so terrified that I smashed another vehicle, and that he screamed threats at me to drive away, then turned around and smiled, telling me how I was now in trouble for a hit and run when I did.
I am angry that he told me that if I didn’t stay with him, I’d be arrested and possibly imprisoned, that my car would be taken away, that my family would find me, and that all the dreams he made me tell him about would never come true.
I am angry that he said would pay off the witness I knew didn’t exist, and that if I came to live with him and allowed him to give me a really good job, he would waive it off.
I am angry that it took me so long to figure out he was a pimp, and that my value was 1,000$.
I am angry that he made me convince myself I was going to die, either by his hand, or my own.
I am angry that when I finally turned from terrified to a near black-out rage when he started hitting me, that I didn’t kill him to save another girl, or at least stab him when I got my hands on a knife.
I am angry that I ran to the police. That after begging someone to open the precinct doors at 2AM, mid-panic attack, that the first thing the officer said when he saw me was, “What the hell do you want?”
I am angry that instead of being interviewed, I was interrogated.
I am angry that I was told to shut up, to just take a goddamned breath already, to stop crying, that I was dumb, naive, a slut, trouble, “This is what you get”. That they rolled their eyes, huffed, tapped their feet and crossed their arms as if I was the most annoying fucking thing in the world.
I am angry that they cared more that I showed up as missing (mind you I was a legal adult living on my own. Moving without telling anyone isn’t a crime) and didn’t even care why I was actually there.
I am angry that they didn’t even ask his name or description until three hours later. That I was treated like a criminal, shouted at and had absurd crime-related questions thrown at me as if I was behind a massive drug-ring. I am angry then when I got a chance to explain how I escaped, that I was shouted at and shoved against a wall as they frisked me. “You’re bragging about how you had a knife,” they justified. As if explaining I was lucky one was near is bragging.
I am angry that they asked me, “What do you expect us to do about it?”, as if it was no big deal that an ex-convict was running around free, raping and pimping girls, and distributing meth.
I am angry that they sent me back out by myself 5 hours later, knowing that I could have a hit on me.
I am angry that I almost ended up on a street corner, or in a cargo container to who knows where, and that now, countless other girls probably have.
I am angry that I obsessed over him for months, somehow convincing myself that I needed to find him and be with him despite knowing how dangerous he is. That I put myself in bad areas to find him, fantasizing he did again, all the while scared that he would.
I am angry that six months later I found a bag of meth he had hid in my vehicle, making me scared that he would come looking for it. But since he had my mind twisted I started doing it to feel closer to him.
I am angry that I fell in love with Crystal Meth. And that even though I am now clean and was never a full-blown addict, that I still constantly have cravings.
I am angry that I started to feel better last month and free, around the 1 year anniversary of my kidnapping, only to yesterday dream that him and I were together in a blue-skied paradise, laughing and drinking champagne.
I am angry that he’s in my head again, that I have to write this in an attempt to get him out.
I am angry that I’ll never truly be free.
But almost as much as I am angry, I am sad.
the girl who’s wanted nothing more than a good life.
I want back to the x factor days
I want them to interact again
I want them to sit next to each other
I want them to stare at each other again like there’s no one else there
I want the Paris interview
I want Wellington again, even if it’s recorded with a fucking potato
I just wish I could get that feeling back when I saw a new picture or gif or video of them nearly kissing
I just miss it so much
When he is made out to say things like he hated the band and he always wanted to leave it makes me feel like everything I believe in is a lie... Why is this fandom so shady?? No other fandom is this stressful!! How sure are you that he is coming back because I've been totally with you until I saw that Beats1 interview snippet. How sure are you??? Can u link me to the signs and all ur evidence? I just want to stop crying. I love them so much I just them to be bestest besties forever and ever :(
Chin up! Well, you don’t have to, but I really do think he’s returning and we’re not even in stasis anymore. This interview and the last one in The Sunday Times have been good steps along the narrative path towards where we want to be.
If you need a refresher of why all of this is a stunt, that link above will do you. The most recent summaries are probably good ones to read.
The Beats 1 interview sounds convincing because 1) It’s actually Zayn saying it, 2) He sounds emotional and serious, and 3) The reasons he’s giving make some sense unlike everything from right after he first left up until December.
If you’re looking for recent evidence of Zayn still being connected to 1DHQ despite the opposite being reported (and thus the Beats 1 interview not being unscripted), it’s the fact that The Sun was allowed to break the news Zayn wouldn’t be on Graham Norton and they did so by dragging up those BS drug rumors again. That’s 1DHQ through and through.
They were out in force today too, trying to spin 1D leaving Modest, Syco, HJPR, and very possibly even Sony as a story about Harry leaving the band to go solo.
Back to the reasons why this interview sounded convincing though. Anything from Zayn’s mouth itself is going to sound convincing, but you have to listen VERY closely to exactly what’s being said and not make assumptions. For instance, Zayn says the music wasn’t his thing and that the boys tried to help him. It’s implied Zayn’s the one that didn’t fit, but he never actually says the other boys weren’t in the same position.
Watch the interview again or read a transcript of his exact quotes while paying attention to only what is factually said. I think you’ll find you get a different impression at least slightly.
For 2), the fact that he sounds emotional and serious can be construed as him being upset remembering how hard his past situation is. However, in reality, it’s probably him struggling with having to keep up the appearance of the narrative in the interview.
For 3), they actually did a halfway decent job of making his “reasons” for leaving sound believable. However, it’s about 10 months too late for that, it still makes no sense that he’s tied to 1DHQ but they’re claiming he isn’t, it still doesn’t make sense he was allowed to leave just like that when he was under contract, and every other logical reason still stands.
This narrative is a good step in a the series of recent steps we’ve seen.
No big blowouts or snipes between Zayn and 1D on Twitter or in filmed interviews for the last 5 months.
Zayn says the boys won’t respond to him which makes the blame not only his, but theirs too. As a whole, this makes it look like a temporary series of misunderstandings rather than one guy being a jerk. No one will look as bad as before if they reconcile. It also shows desire for contact on Zayn’s side for the first time since the Asian Awards.
Liam says Zayn’s great and that he wouldn’t have a problem with Zayn rejoining 1D.
Zayn says he’s gotten an email since the previous interview from one of the boys. He also replies fairly positively to the idea of a reunion.
Zayn apparently reminisces about the campfire days. He talks about how it was the musical control that was the issue (not a problem with the boys) and that the other boys tried to help.
These things look to be heading in a certain direction to me and that direction is a very good one.
You and Chris have finally become first time parents to a beautiful baby girl, you both decided call Maci. It’s been two months since you had her and the paparazzi have been trying to get the first photos of Maci. It has been difficult and tiring not just for the two of you, but also for your families and friends, who are also being hounding by the paparazzi. Anytime that you do take Maci out of the house, she is covered by a blanket over the carrier. You have taken to going out alone to run errands just so Maci is safe.
After a long discussion with your family, you both decide to introduce Maci two ways. You decided on Ellen and Chris decided on People Magazine. Chris worked it so that a few days after the People Magazine article is released, you’ll all go on Ellen. With the People interview and photo shoot in a week, you head back to L.A.
The day of the People shoot and interview, the house was full of people getting everything ready. The photo shoot was going to happen first, then the interview. You were up in the nursery feeding Maci. Chris had told everyone that the upstairs was off limits. Chris came in just as Maci was finishing up. He had an armful of clothes for Maci that People had sent over. As soon as he walks in, he scoops Maci up in his arms and burps her, while you look through the clothes.
C. How are my girls?
Y. I’m nervous as hell and Maci is bathed, fed, and ready to meet the world.
C. They are going to love her.
Y. Who wouldn’t love her? She’s the most perfect baby.
C. So which outfit are you going to put her in?
Y. These are all too fancy, I was going to put her in her purple short sleeve onesies with the butterfly and shorts?
C. I love that on her, put her in that.
Y. How about you change her and dress her while I finish getting ready?
C. Okie Dokie.
After you are ready, you both head down to do the photo shoot. After about forty-five minutes that’s done and now to the interview. Chris has put Maci into her swing while the both of you talk with the interviewer.
P. First off, I’d like to to thank the two of you for deciding on us, to debut you daughter.
C/Y. You’re welcome.
P. So how does it feel to be parents?
C. It’s the most amazing feeling ever. Every time I look at her, I fall more and more in love with her, and she’s mine.
Y. I can’t believe I had her. I pinch myself everyday. It’s a true blessing to have her in our lives.
P. I know what you mean, I have 2 of my own, and I’m grateful everyday to have them.
C. The unconditional love that’s there. I can’t wait to see her first steps, her first words.
Y. Having Chris in my life, I felt complete, but now having Maci, I’m definitely complete.
P. I hear that there’s a story behind Maci’s name? Do you mind sharing that with us?
Y. Back home in Boston, where I use to work, a co-worker and really close friend….(you take a deep breath, and Chris grabs your hand)….she died from breast cancer. She never got to know I was pregnant, so to honour and remember her, we used her name.
C. Maci Elizabeth Evans.
P. Wow! Thank you for sharing that with all of us. So are you going to raise Maci here in L.A. or in Boston?
P. Why is that?
C. We want her to have family around her and we are both from the east coast, and (Y/N) is from Ontario, Canada. Plus we don’t want to raise her in all the hectic and craziness that L.A. is. We want her life to be as normal as possible.
P. Are you going to have more kids?
C. Yes! I want a house full.
Y. (Laughing) You want your own football team.
C. (Laughing) Ya, I do. I think we should start trying again tonight.
Y. (Laughing) You’re sleeping in the guest room tonight!
C. No, seriously maybe 3 or 4.
Maci woke up, crying and hungry, so you take her back up stairs and feed her, while Chris continues to talk with the interviewer. Again after feeding and changing Maci, you are both back, but you give Maci to Chris, because she’s not wanting to go back into her swing. Now you join back into the interview.
P. So (Y/N) Chris tells me you were a fan when the two of you met?
Y. Yes, for about 15 years, the first time I saw Not Another Teen Movie in the theatre, I was in love.
P. Do you have a favourite movie, character, photo?
Y. My favourite movie is SunShine and character is Jake Jensen from The Losers and photos, well there are so many, but then I have Chris to look at.
Just then Chris gets up and goes and gets your wallet, and shows the interviewer a photo in the wallet.
C. This has been in every wallet she’s had. It’s from the Rolling Stone interview I did in 2016. It was just before we met.
Y. Look at it, he’s laying on the floor, tight blue t-shirt, blue jeans, boots, James Dean hair style, legs open, with one leg up, arm above his head, he’s looking up and away, his jeans are sliding down in the back, with his shirt running up. How can you not love that photo?
C. (Laughing) She has it to memory. Never looked at it once to describe it.
P. I have to admit, those photos are pretty damn sexy.
C. (Blushing) Thank you.
Y. (High-five the interviewer) I know right!
The interview went on for another 10 minutes. The interviewer said that she’ll send a copy of the photos and article over when it’s done for your approval in a few days. Then everything was packed up and they left. Chris put Maci back into her swing and rejoined you on the couch.
Y. I can’t believe you showed her the photo!
C. It is your favourite photo, plus you had it in the hospital as your focal point, and I was right there beside you.
Y. You’re sexy as hell in those photos, but you’re even sexier now with the bits of grey in your beard and hair.
C. I need to fix that.
Y. Please don’t. I love it.
C. Well maybe for now I’ll leave it.
Y. Love you.
C. Love you more.
You both just relax and drift off to sleep until Maci decides to wake you both up.