i want to cry because the file is such bad quality

Let Us Know (PolyHamilsquad x reader)

A/N: Hello, my lovely wonderfuls! Here is my first (of many) polyhamilsquad story! I just realized I never put what character I’m writing about in the title (whoops). I apologize, I know I appreciate that when other (more talented) writers do that, so I’ll try keep that up. Anyways, I had lots of fun writing this and I really hope you all enjoy it! As always thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! And I hope you all have a day as wonderful and lovely as you are! Oh! And the song used in this fic is Back At One By Brian McKnight :)

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You loved Sunday mornings. They were your favorite day of the week. Mostly because it was all your boys day off and you all got to sleep late. You loved waking up wrapped up with all your boys. It never failed to make you smile and fill you with joy.

This particular Sunday morning you were woken up by Johns soft lips pressing gentle kisses to your neck. You smile with your eyes still closed and run your fingers through his hair.

He looks up at you a smile gracing his sweet freckled face.

“Good morning lover girl, you’re looking beautiful as always,” he says nuzzling your neck and giving you more kisses.

You giggle and shake your head.

“I don’t think I look beautiful at all, but thank you,” you pull his face to yours and place a soft kiss of your own on his lips.

Lafayette starts stir beside you, “I want morning kisses too, ma petit colombe.”
You smile and turn to him.

“Well, Johnny here decided to steal his morning kisses from me.”

John nods pecking your cheek as you smile. Laf looks serious in thought, before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you towards him.

“I guess, I’ll have to steal mine too,” he says placing kisses all over your face.

“Gil,” you giggle.

He smiles down at you, and places a long, toe curling kiss on your lips. He pulls away when John clears his throat. Laf looks at John.

“You want on too, ma douce?”

John nods and Laf gives him kiss just like yours. They pull apart and you can see the love in their eyes and it makes your heart swell.

“Don’t mind me boys, I’m just going to move out of the way,” you say jokingly, trying to scoot out from between them. Before you can really get anywhere, Lafs hands are on your hips again, holding you still.

“Non, mon ange, we’re not done with you yet.”

You look from him to John and see their matching smirks and purse your lips.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wake up the other boys?” you ask, thinking the suggestion might distract them.

“We will, in just a few minutes,” Laf says as he starts kissing your neck and John kisses that ticklish spot on your ribs.

You start to squirm, trying to move. When you hear Alex begin to stir.

“Alex, honey, good morning. Look, boys Alex is awake,” you say and they both cease for a moment and chuckle.

“Are you bothering our dear (Y/N) already?”

“Non, mon amour, we’re stealing morning kisses,” Laf says while wiggling his eyebrows at Alex.

“Well, in that case,” and without warning Alex jumps over John and is on top of you within seconds.

“Alex,” you say in a warning tone.

“Yes, my love?” he asks a smirk at his lips as he leans over you.

“Don’t you think I should go make breakfast?”

“Of course, right after I steal my morning kisses,” and with that his lips are on yours.

He places a passionate kiss on your lips and then a gentle kiss, before moving down to your collar bone. Meanwhile, John and Laf had taken to kissing your hands and wrists. Leaving you no way of escape.

“Boys I think you’ve stolen more than enough,” you say breathlessly.

“Are you sure, mon ange?”

“I disagree baby girl.”

“Nope, not nearly enough, my love.”

You sigh, your only hope was Hercules. You start trying to tap him with your foot. You do so a few times and he starts to stir.

“Herc, my darling, would you mind helping me?”

He lifts his head to see your predicament and chuckles before sitting up.

“Alright, my loves, leave the cupcake alone.”

They all give a slight pout, as Herc helps you out of their hold, holding you to his chest. You smile up at him.

“Now, what’s going on?”

“We were stealing morning kisses,” John says wrapping his arms around Alex, while he reaches for Laf.

Herc laughs, “stealing morning kisses huh?”

He looks at you and you nod seriously. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to ask a lady for a kiss? Watch and learn.”

Herc turns his attention back to you and clears his throat.

“My darling, beautiful lady, may I have the pleasure of receiving a morning kiss?” You giggle before responding.

“Of course my darling,” you giggle, placing a hand to his cheek as you kiss him slowly and sweetly, silently thanking him for his rescue.

You both pull apart smiling, and look at the rest of your boys when you hear a throat clear. You see all three of them on one knee on the bed, with their right hands over their hearts and their left out towards you.

“My darling, beautiful lady, may I have the pleasure of receiving a morning kiss?” they all recite in together. You laugh and look at Herc, signaling him to let you down.

“Since you all asked so nicely,” you approach each of them giving them quick kisses on the lips barely slipping out of Alexander’s grasp.

They all give you pout, while you stand behind Herc.

“Darling, will you keep them distracted while I go make breakfast?

“Anything for you cupcake,” you kiss Hercs cheek and make your way to the kitchen. You hear a few sad groans before a burst of laughter from the bedroom.

You smile as you begin breakfast, this was really your favorite day. You loved spending time with your boys, and this was actually somewhat rare.

Your boys worked so hard, it was difficult to have this type of quality time all together. But, you usually had at least one of them around, so it didn’t bother you too much. You always reveled in these days though, these perfect blissful days.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Soon your favorite days were gone. At first it wasn’t that bad, but within a month it was like they all got twice as busy as before. Even your Sundays were no longer waking up late and spending the day together.

Now there was always one of them gone and you hated it, but you rationalized with yourself. It was their work, it was just because they had to work that was all.

Their usual attentiveness had dwindled. In the morning you woke up with your boys and made them breakfast, and lunches (they had a tendency to forget to eat). Instead of sweet, sometimes lingering kisses, you got a quick peck on the cheek or forehead as they made their way out the door.

Again, you told yourself that they were just consumed with work. They weren’t purposely putting you on the back burner. You reassured yourself daily, you knew they loved you. They had told you and shown you countless times. They loved you, they did.

Two months went by and it was still much of the same. You would tell yourself everyday, it’s just because of work. They had time consuming jobs.

Lafayette was a heart surgeon, Alex and John were lawyers, and Herc was a clothing designer. Laf was called into work at random times, of course you could understand how tired he was. Alex and John were both top lawyers at their firm, of course they want to stay there, you could understand their stress.

Herc was one of the best designers in New York, not to mention the country, and he had to travel to make sure things were done properly. Of course you understood, he made beautiful clothing, they were his own masterpieces, he wanted them done right.

All of this you understood and took into consideration. Everytime you got a peck instead of a kiss, a wave instead of an embrace, a quick ‘sure’ instead of an ‘of course, my love’. Everytime you got a brush off quickly because they had more important things to do.

You reminded yourself that they had hard jobs and that they worked hard. You didn’t need to take anything personally. But, it was getting harder and harder to do. You were a nurse at a pediatricians office and maybe your work wasn’t as hard as theirs, but you still made time for them.

You always made sure they ate during the day, sometimes forgetting to eat yourself. You always tried to make sure they got enough sleep, especially Alexander. You made sure they knew how much you loved them. Was it so bad to want that in return?

Your patience and understanding was starting to wear thin. You had had a really shitty day. The office had been busier than normal and full of sick children. Several of which had puked and or peed on you. There was constant screaming, and even some unfortunate hair pulling.

You had a pulsing headache, your feet were killing you, and you smelt unpleasant. All you wanted was a long shower, food, and sleep.

When you arrived home, you could see all of your boys were home. On your way into your home, you could hear Alex yelling at someone over the phone. John seemed to be looking over some files and Laf and Herc seemed to be talking in the kitchen.

You stood their for a few minutes waiting for a ‘welcome home’ or some type of acknowledgement. Much to your dismay there came none. You made your way to the bedroom, but before you were all the way there, Laf finally noticed you were home.

“There she is! We’ve been waiting for you,” he says smiling. “We’re going out in celebration of our Hercules being home. Go get ready so we can go.”

The thought of going out right now made you want cringe. You were so tired, physically and emotionally. You felt almost empty with all you’ve given these past months.

“I’m sorry boys, I just don’t feel up to it, but you guys go and have fun.”

They all look disappointed, including Alex, who had finally gotten off the phone.

“Come on (Y/N), it’ll be fun. Just get ready real quick,” Alex says looking at you like you were being slightly ridiculous.

“Please, we haven’t spent quality time together in a while, go get ready and we’ll wait,” John says in a sweet tone that makes you want to cry and yell at the same time. Where have you been??

“No, boys really I’m sorry, I’ve had a long day and just want to shower and go to sleep.”

“How about you shower and then we can go, I know you’ve had a long day, but don’t you want to spend time with us,” Alex tells you somewhat accusingly. The other boys looking at you for an answer.

And it’s the final straw, you had been patient, and sweet and understanding for two months. And now they were turning this on you? As if you’re the one neglecting them, as if you hadn’t waited up for them and then woken up with them to make sure they got to work and home okay. As if you hadn’t been taking the bare minimum of affection from them for two months!

“You know what, I know we haven’t spent time together. You want to know how I know? For the past two months, I’ve made sure all of you were okay, and eating, and cared about, whether you were here or at work or traveling.” You look at all them pointedly, trying to keep your tears at bay.

“I have waited up and gotten up for all of you everyday, made sure you had everything you needed,” you close your eyes and take a breath. “You know what I’ve gotten these past two months?” you look at each of them, they all look somewhat shocked at your outburst. “I’ve gotten quick pecks and half assed acknowledgments.”

“I know you all work hard and you’re all amazing at what you do. Usually you do make time for me and I appreciate the time I do get, but these past two months,” you take a breath as the tears starts to spill over your cheeks. “It’s just, it would be nice not to feel so empty once in awhile. I love you all so much but lately I feel like I’m just giving, and giving, and giving, and I’m left with nothing! I’ve tried to be understanding and patient, but I can’t do it anymore. And you know what I shouldn’t have to!”

They all stare at you guilt and sorrow on their faces, they look so distraught. And you feel instantly guilty.

“Baby girl…”

“My love…”

“Mon ange..”

“Cupcake…”

They have tears brimming in their eyes and you hate that you caused it. No matter how upset you were with them, you didn’t want them to hurt.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault. I know it’s not, you’re all so good at what you do and I know you love your work. I’m just tired, that’s all.” They start to approach you, but you step back. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m just gonna go for a drive for a bit. You guys go out and have a nice dinner, okay?” You turn and walk out the door without waiting for a reply.

The boys try to stop you, but by the time they get to the door, you’re already gone. They go back inside and decide to wait for your return.

After two hours had passed they grew worried.

“She’ll come back, right?” John asks his other lovers.

“Of course she will, she loves us remember,” Herc tells him hugging him to his chest. Although the same fear was growing in the pit of his stomach

Alex looks less sure as he paces, hoping that you’re not crying on the road and his heart aching to be near you.

Lafayette is sitting on the couch, his knee bouncing, thinking of all the places you might go. And it hits him, the Schuylers! They were your best friends.

“I’m going to call Angelica and see if she’s heard from her,” the other boys nod their heads frantically.

“Angie, please tell me mon ange is with you….”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You drove around for thirty minutes before stopping at the Schuylers. You hated coming over unannounced, but you weren’t ready to go home and you were so tired.

You knocked on the door and tried to make yourself look presentable.

Peggy opened the door, took one look at you, pulled you in and called her sisters.
Eliza and Angelica came into the living room and immediately embraced you.

“(Y/N), what happened?” Angelica asks, brushing hair out of your face.

You try to hold back your tears, but they break free and fall down your cheeks. Eliza hugs you close and lets you cry on her shoulder until you’ve calmed.

After a few minutes, Peggy hands you some tissues and you thank her. You take a few deep breaths and tell them all what happened. How the past two months that the boys were so busy and you felt so lonely, how you tried to power through it, and how when you finally had all of them together you had an outburst that just ended up making everyone feel bad, including yourself.

“Okay, while we can all understand that they have time consuming jobs, that doesn’t mean they stop making time for you.”

“But Angie”-

“No, she’s right (Y/N). You shouldn’t feel any remorse about the way you feel in your heart. That’s not something you can control,” Eliza tells you holding your gaze.

Peggy nods in agreement before adding on.

“And you shouldn’t keep all of your emotions bottled up, if they’re doing something that hurts your feelings or makes you angry you need to say so.”

You nod knowing all of them are right, but the guilt still doesn’t dissipate.

“I need to get back home and talk to them,” you say getting up, but Angelica pulls you back down.

“You definitely need to talk to them, but it can wait until tomorrow.”

When you try protest both Eliza and Peggy shake their heads at you.

“You’re tired and emotionally drained, you need some time to refresh yourself.”

“And it’s okay to let them sweat a little bit, you do a lot for them,” Peggy says giving you a wink.

You laugh and shake your head.

“I need to tell them where I am, I don’t want them to freak out.”

“We’ll take care of it,” Angie says taking your phone from you. You knew better than to argue with her.

“Please be nice, I know I was upset, but I didn’t speak up either and they never meant to hurt me,” you look at her with pleading eyes, while she sighs and rolls her eyes at you.

“I guess, Eliza can call them then.”

The four of break out in laughter, once you all settle they send you to shower and told you to get some sleep.

Just as you leave, Angelica’s phone starts ringing and she sees it’s Lafayette. Right on time, she thinks.

“Angie, please tell me mon ange is with you..”

“Yes, she’s here and she’s spending the night, so don’t expect her home.”

She can hear the rest of the boys in the background, with relieved murmurs. She puts the phone on speaker, so her sisters can hear.

“Non, we can come get her.”

“You will do no such thing Laf. She needs some space, she is completely physically and emotionally drained.”

The boys pause at Eliza’s stern tone, but start up again.

“We need to talk to her, and comfort her, so she knows we love her,” John says his voice pleading.

“You can tell her all that tomorrow,” Peggy says.

The boys know that they won’t get past the Schuylers so they concede.

“Can you at least tell her that we love her and we’re sorry,” Alexander asks, sounding a little exasperated.

“We’ll relay the ‘we love you’, but you can all apologize yourselves tomorrow,” Angelica states.

“Try and get some sleep boys,” Eliza says in a more sympathetic tone this time.

Before they hang up, they hear a scoff and then, ‘yeah, like that’s gonna happen.’ They giggle and make their way to bed themselves.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day, the boys are knocking at the Schuylers door, bright and early. More accurately, Alex is knocking incessantly while the others are asking him to pause for a second.

Minutes later, the door swings open to reveal a very irritated Angelica.

“It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday,” she nearly growls while glaring at them.

“I brought some croissants, for you all, mon ami,” Laf offers with a pleading smile.

She just raises an eyebrow, before opening the door wider and standing aside so they could enter.

“I’ll wake the angel, you wait here,” she says walking away.

They all wait in the living room, Alexander is cracking his knuckles, Johns leg is bouncing, Lafayette has his hands resting on his thighs and tapping his fingers on them, and Herc has his elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped in front of him sitting completely still.

As soon as you entered the room they all stood and resisted the urge to run to you. John just couldn’t help himself.

Before you can say a word he rushes to you and wraps his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“We’re sorry, we’re so sorry please don’t be upset anymore, we love you. Please don’t leave us.”

As the initial shock wears off you realize what John just said and look at the boys wide eyed. They all look away, and your heart aches.

You embrace John and step back a bit so you can look him in the eyes.

“I’m not leaving you guys, I love you,” your eyes meet each of the boys. “I may have been upset, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to quit on our relationship, you’re all my everything.”

The rest of the boys, rush to you and John. You’re completely surrounded by them, and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You finally felt at peace, the boys were your home.

“We’re so sorry, cupcake.”

“Oui, we don’t deserve you mon ange.”

“You’re our everything, love, we all need you more than you realize. You could probably do without us, but we cannot do without you.”

You look at each of them, tears springing to your eyes and your heart swelling. John turns you to face him and brushes a tear from your cheek.

“It’s true baby girl, and we came up with a little something to prove it.”

You look at him confused.

“A little something?”

You look to the other boys, and they all just smile at you. Herc takes your hand and leads you to the couch.

“We’re going to need you to sit here, cupcake,” he winks at you.

Your confusion only grows as they all line up in front of you.

“You got the disc, babe,” Herc says to John, who happily nods and places a cd in the stereo.

We’re they going to perform for you? And they all got into the same pose. They all stand their hands clasped together in front of them and their heads down.

It’s undeniable that we should be together, it’s unbelievable that used to say that I’d fall never…

Herc was the first to step forward lip-syncing the song and then followed John, Laf, and Alex.

The basis is need to know, if you don’t know just how I feel

Then let me show you now that I’m for real

If all things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

As one said a line the others danced behind him. Until they got to the chorus, which they all did together, acting out nearly every word.

One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One
Yeah (yeah)

You couldn’t help but smile at your boys, they were so ridiculously sweet, it made your heart soar.

It’s so incredible the way things work themselves out

And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about babe

And undesirable for us to be apart
Never would of made it very far

Cause you know that you’ve got the keys to my heart

Peggy, Angie, and Eliza had come to the living room because they heard music and held back their giggles at the boys sweet gesture.

Cause,
One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One

As you watched them, you couldn’t help but think how lucky you were to have your own personal boy band. You loved them all so much.

Say farewell to the dark of night I see the coming of the sun

I feel like a little child
Whose life has just begun

You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine

You threw out the life line just in the Nick of Time

As the song continued, the more dramatic they got and you couldn’t contain your giggles. And seeing your face lit up with joy made the boys hearts race.

One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One

When they finished the last line, you jumped up and clapped, while the girls followed suit. They bowed and you went to them, giving each of them a kiss.

“So, you liked it?” Alex asked nervously.

“Are you kidding, I loved it! If I hadn’t already forgiven all of you, that would have convinced me,” you said smiling big at them.

“Can we go home now, cupcake?” Herc asks his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours.

“Of course,” you say smiling and kiss nose.

“Bien, because we didn’t get a lot of sleep, and we missed you last night,” Laf says nuzzling your neck behind you, making you giggle.

“I call sitting with (Y/N) in the back,” Alex says while pulling you into his arms, and resting his head on yours, as you rest yours on his chest.

“Oh! Me too!” John exclaims wrapping his arms around you and Alex from behind you.

“I guess that means we get to cuddle with our darling girl when we get home then,” Herc says to Laf.

Both Alex and John gasp, and you giggle.

“Okay, boys you can take turns, let’s go home.” You gather your things and say goodbye and Thank you to the sisters, before heading out with your boys.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When you all arrived home and made your way to the bedroom, Lafayette stopped you.

“What is it Gil?”

“Mon ange, before we take our nap, I just want you to know that if you ever feel that way again, you can tell us.”

“Yeah, baby girl, we hated seeing you so upset.”

“Darling, we love you and you come before our work, always.”

“Love, if we ever fail to give you what you need, please, let us know.”

You look at each of them and nod.

“I promise, I will from now on. I’m sorry for not saying anything.”

Alex shakes his head at you.

“You don’t need to apologize my love.”
They all ask for a ‘good nap kiss’ and you giggle and give them each a sweet kiss, before you all settle into bed. You’re cuddled between Herc and Laf, as your eyes drift closed.

And an hour later the boys switch, Alex claiming he sleeps better next to you, while Laf and Herc roll their eyes, but comply to his request.

And this time as you drifted off to sleep, you couldn’t help the warmth that spread in your heart, finally feeling complete.

The next week’s that passed by were filled with long lingering kisses, nearly constant cuddles, and ‘I love you’s. Your boys making sure that you felt completely loved and taken care of. And although this all made you feel immense joy, your favorite part was that you got your blissful Sundays back.

Leading Suspects - Chapter 11

Prepare for some shenanigans… And also, for convenience:

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10.

Enjoy, @peetabreadgirl!


“Read it back to me!” I declare as I lean heavily on the fridge door and shift aside a casserole to reach the bottle of pinot that is my target. As it turns out, Starla Summers is rather generous and should chair the grief and welcoming committees in this town, seeing as how her contribution to the Madge-is-Grieving-We-Must-Feed-Her fund was ten bottles of wine. Cheap wine, but I’m trying not to judge, seeing as how I am suspected of murder and immaculate conception.

“Hot buns of steel!” Madge shouts from the table as her forearms slide forward across the surface.

“Wrong list!” I protest and fall into my seat. I squint at the bottle trying to focus on removing the cork.

Keep reading

you and me

Originally posted by spongecakechimchim

◇ Jungkook is an assassin who is hired to kidnap you in order to lure your father to Bangtan.

◇ Jungkook x reader

◇ assassin!au

◇ assassin!kookie is legitimately all i’ve ever wanted in life tbh

•••

He had no idea when his guilt faded into nothingness; when he no longer became bothered by the blood on his hands; when the passion he had fought so hard for eventually seeped away.

He had thought nothing would bring them back; he almost didn’t want to have something have so much control over him - but then, when he least expects it, they come hurtling at him like a truck, and he has no idea what to do.

•••

“On your right, Kook.” Jimin’s voice was quiet despite the fact that he was safely far away and tucked inside an armoured building, talking to Jungkook, who was the one who was executing the treacherous act. “Wearing the light green gown. She’s a beauty - hard to miss.”

Jungkook sighs, dressed in a black suit and sitting at the gleaming bar that was in the ballroom. He lifts the wine glass to his lips, covertly glancing to his right and catching sight of just who Jimin had described.

_____ _____. His target’s daughter. The person he’d be kidnapping to lure her father in, and then he could only guess that she’d be killed too.

Jungkook didn’t care about her father, really. He was a horrible man and that’s why he was being targeted. He bribed and blackmailed, tore families apart, and all for the money. Jungkook thought it was safe to say he deserved everything coming to him.

His daughter, on the other hand, was probably one of the people who was most undeserving of this. He remembered the feeling of regret and guilt that had consumed him as he read through the file Namjoon had slid over the table to him. He didn’t know what was more surprising; that he actually felt something for once, or that Namjoon felt that this mission was so important that he personally delivered the file to Jungkook.

_____ _____ was her name, obviously. She was 17, turning 18, but she had more on her plate than most people twice her age. Her mother died when she was 11, her uncle and aunt died in a car accident when she 14, her grandmother died just last week, and her dad was about to die.

She volunteered at local animal centres, and donated money to charity and orphanages and vets and animals shelters and suddenly Jungkook doesn’t think this will be so easy anymore.

And she was beautiful. Sparkling eyes and smooth skin and a beautiful smile, and Jungkook was sorry that such a kind and beautiful person had to die because she had a shitty dad.

“Jungkook?” Jungkook almost forgot where he was. He coughs awkwardly, inhaling a deep breath as he sets down his champagne glass. “You there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he murmurs quietly, shaking his head gently as he runs a hand through his dark burgundy locks. Years and years of undercover missions had trained Jungkook into looking as if he wasn’t even talking, though he could be having a full blown conversation with somebody.

“She’s going outside, Kookie. Through the east door and she’s going towards the fountain at the centre, I think. I can’t see too well, it’s dark.”

Jungkook thanked him anyway, and downed the rest of the alcohol, before he stands up, brushing himself off and glancing around at the people around him, all dressed in expensive gowns and suits.

Jungkook suddenly feels very cut off from these people, who’s shoes probably cost more that what he was worth. He’s never been packed with money - he spent the first few years of his life on the streets, scavenging and struggling. He only got onto his feet once Namjoon’s father had found him and took him in, training and sculpting him into the man he was today. And yeah, sure, he had money now - but he still felt oddly isolated.

He’s comforted by the fact that he could possibly take out all of these people in less than an hour without anybody knowing - he’s much more powerful than them and their burly bodyguards who could probably only throw a punch.

He starts to make his way through the crowd, making sure nobody was watching him just in case they remembered his face (and Jungkook definitely had a memorable face).

“Is she still there?” He asks craftily as he maneuvers passed yet another waiter holding a golden tray full of champagne. The doors were in his sight, the gardens outside illuminated by moonlight.

“Yeah, she’s just kinda… sitting there? I don’t know, man, but I don’t think she’ll be getting up anytime soon,” Jimin commented, and Jungkook could just hear the squint in his voice, knowing that he was trying hard to see what she was doing, knowing that even though the CCTV cameras were good quality, they still weren’t as good as eyesight.

“Alright,” Jungkook mutters, approaching the white french doors that lead into the grand gardens. “I’m going in.”

“Tae’s near the bushes to the right of the fountain, out of sight of the cameras. Hoseok is in the white van that’s about a kilometre north. They’ll drive you to a gas station a few miles away and then you’ll get into another car with the girl and travel to headquarters.”

“Okay.” Jungkook doesn’t say much, repeating the instructions over and over in his head and prepping himself for the conversation he’s about to start, walking past beautiful exotic flowers that he more than likely couldn’t name and fragrant bushes of green leaves.

All of the paths lead up to one thing; a beautiful fountain of two marble dolphins, intertwined into the shape of a heart with diamonds for eyes and spewing crystal clear water from their mouths. Numerous marble benches surround the area, and there you are, perched on one, your head in your hands and your shoulders shaking.

Jungkook gulps, cracking his neck and brushing off non-existent dirt as he approaches you wearily. How strange was it that after years of smooth talking and charms, he still had to muster up enough strength to talk to a girl? “Uh, is - is this a bad time?”

He hopes your pick up on the slight humorous tone in his voice; he doesn’t want you to think that he’s too serious and lose your attention before Taehyung knocks you out.

Your head shoots up, your breathing is heavy, your eyes are rimmed with red but Jungkook still thinks you look radiant, especially with the moonlight illuminating your figure and the rose bushes that were behind you framing your body.

“Oh!” You exclaim, wiping your eyes quickly and Jungkook definitely knows this isn’t the first time you’ve sneaked off to cry at parties; it’s just the first time you’ve been caught.

“I - I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you mutter, laughing awkwardly as you rub your hands against the light green chiffon of your dress.

“I - did you want something?” You stutter, trying to divert attention from yourself to Jungkook. Jungkook smiles awkwardly, moving apprehensively towards the same bench you were on. You let him sit beside you, clasping his hands together as he leans forward, his elbows on his thighs, and turns to look at you.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” He murmurs, biting his lip as he realises that you have the cutest beauty spot just beside your eyebrow. He has to stop - he clears his throat nervously as he sees the reluctant look on your face.

“I don’t know,“ you raise an eyebrow jokingly. “I don’t even know you. And - if I tell you this,” you continue, “You can’t tell anyone else, okay?”

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “I don’t even know your name-”

“Jungkook.” The word has spilled out of his lips before he realized it. He refrains his eyes from widening as he notices what he just did, but he doesn’t matter, not as he sees Taehyung shoot him a look from behind a bush a few metres away. He’s reminded that you probably won’t be alive by the end of the week, and his mood lowers.

“Well, Jungkook,” you smile sadly, “I’m ______. And my grandmother just died.” Jungkook’s face contorts in pity - not because of your grandmother’s death, but because of the emotions that must be tormenting  you. He can’t relate, but he guesses that it’s horrible. “My mother died, my aunt and uncle died, and the last person I loved died.”

Your voice breaks but you take a deep breath and stop your tears from falling. You bite your lip and turn to him, smiling bitterly. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Jungkook echoes skeptically, “That’s it? That’s a big deal, ______. Your grandmother just died, you have every right to be upset. I mean, your dad is the only person you have now-”

Jungkook winces as he realises that not only did he give away that he knew you, it sounded insensitive and rude, too. “Sorry,” he starts, “That came out wrong-”

“Not really,” you sigh, casting your gaze downwards. You didn’t seem to realise that he knew who you were. “My grandmother was my last loved one left. My dad could care less about me,” you laugh bitterly, “The only reason he probably hasn’t disowned me is because I could potentially marry someone with loads of money.”

“That’s… that’s pretty horrible,” Jungkook mutters, watching as Taehyung approaches, cloth doused in chloroform in one hand and rope in the other. He bites his lip; he feels worse than he should for doing this.

“It is,” you agree, smiling, “But I’ve come to terms with it.” It’s silent for a moment and Taehyung’s almost directly behind you. “Thanks, Jungkook. That was definitely something I needed to get out.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw in guilt, but feigns a smile. This - this type of heaviness is tugging at his chest, and he doesn’t like it. It’s unfamiliar, unwelcome.

“Your welcome,” he whispers, watching Taehyung cover your mouth and watching your eyes widen in panic and betrayal. Your eyes flutter shut, and you become limp seconds later. Taehyung ties your wrists and legs together, and Jungkook almost winces at how tight it looks.

Taehyung grunts as he throws you over his shoulder, making sure you left absolutely no evidence, before he’s looking at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook realizes that he’s been staring into space for a few seconds and coughs awkwardly, straightening his posture and painting his face with the emotionless look he was known for.

“Let’s go, then.”

•••

It’s been 30 minutes since you had been officially kidnapped; after walking for about 10 minutes through thick forest, they came to a road that spun through the tall trees and continued out into the desert. Just as Jimin had said, Hoseok was waiting for them, all smiles and watching ______ curiously.

Jungkook felt slightly possessive over you after seeing how Hoseok had inspected you - after speaking with you, even for just a few minutes, he felt as if you were his responsibility, his girl - which was messed up, because he just helped kidnap you. And, anyway, his brain taunts him, she’ll be dead by Sunday.

The remaining 20 minutes was mostly spent in silence; Jimin informed them over the phone that people had noticed  _______’s absence and were searching for her already - her disappearance should be all over the news by tomorrow, Jimin had said. That gave Jungkook a good 5 or 6 hours to get to headquarters, where _____ would be held until her father came to them and was killed - and then she would be killed. A stone of emotion settled in Jungkook’s stomach, surprising him.

He was known as the stone cold one. The one who would never think twice before pulling the trigger. The one who couldn’t care less if his target volunteered at orphanages or gave $100 to a homeless person, and the fact that some random girl was reducing him to a hormonal teenager irritated and confused him.

He stole a glance at the girl that was laying on the seats opposite Taehyung and himself. Her wrists were already turning red because of how tight Taehyung had tied the rope (“I read she took Judo, Kookie. I’m not risking it.”), and her hair was ruffled and mussed. But she looked peaceful, and the only thing that could come to Jungkook’s mind was her - looking exactly as she did now, but blood seeping from the bullet hole in her heart. You can’t grow attached, he chants to himself, it will only end badly.

"You’re acting weird, Kookie,” Taehyung furrows his brows. Jungkook averts his gaze from the girl across from him, instead meeting Taehyung’s eyes. His friend is staring at Jungkook in confusion, eyes flitting between him and ______.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook knows exactly what he’s talking about, but Taehyung doesn’t need to know that. “What do you mean?”

Taehyung scoffs. “You know exactly what I mean! Earlier on, you told her your name. You never tell anybody your name - heck, it took you three weeks for you to tell me your name-!”

“So you’re jealous?” Acting oblivious is the only thing Jungkook can do right now to get Taehyung off of his back. “You think I’m acting weird because I told her my name, even though it’s 90% certain that she’ll be dead in a few days?”

Taehyung is silent for a second, before he sighs. “That’s never mattered before,” he mutters, turning his head towards the front seat, where Hoseok is seated, listening to their conversation but not giving his input. He’s like that. He listens but never acts unless it’s completely necessary, and that was one of the reasons Jungkook liked him.

Jungkook clenches his jaw at Taehyung’s muttered comment, but says nothing. Taehyung is older than him and won’t hesitate to put Jungkook in his place, no matter how close they were. Instead, he turns his head the opposite direction, making sure he can still see you, and leans on one hand, waiting for them to reach the gas station.

•••

“She should wake in a few hours, and there should be enough gas in it to get you to headquarters,” Hoseok explains, pointing to the Ford Fiesta that was parked at a gas pump. It wasn’t flashy, so nobody would look twice at it, and the registration plate was fake and couldn’t be tracked. “Tae and I are turning back to put the letter in place, and we’ll be home soon.”

Jungkook nodded, looking around to make sure nobody spotted him propping an unconscious ______ into the back seat of the car, inconspicuously trying to make her comfortable with Hoseok or Taehyung seeing.

“And then what?” He knows he’s said the wrong thing as soon as Hoseok raises an eyebrow, peering at him with narrowed eyes.

“And then we wait until her father comes to us. You know how it goes, Kook. Jeez, you really are acting off,” Hoseok mumbled, ruffling his orange hair with one hand, before rolling his eyes and turning towards the van where Taehyung was still seated. “Just do your job, Kook. We’ll see you later.”

Jungkook cursed internally. Taehyung and Hoseok were getting suspicious - he really needed to stop feeling like this, or else he could endanger his job. Relationships weren’t frowned down upon, of course - but with his target? It would meet some opposition.

He ran a hand through his hair, screwing his eyes shut, before he puffed out his cheeks and straightened his posture for what seemed the thousandth time that night, opening the door to the Ford and slipping in.

He turns the keys in the ignition, turning to strap on his seatbelt, and catches sight of you in the rear-view mirror; your eyebrows were now furrowing, and Jungkook guesses that you’ll wake soon – he decides that it’s best to start driving before you wake and cause a commotion.

The first few hours of the ride are silent; the inky darkness eventually transitioned to candlelight-like sunniness, and Jungkook stared ahead as he drove - he’d never admit it, but he’d occasionally sneak a glance at you as you stirred every few minutes.

There was nothing else to see, really; the desert was the desert, boundless and bare, stretching farther than the eye could see, and you were much prettier anyway.

It was only 10 minutes later when you woke from your forced slumber – a small gasp woke Jungkook from the almost robotic daze he was in. His eyes widened and he turned slightly in his seat to inspect you, chewing his lip in anticipation.

Your eyebrows were knitted together, eyes rimmed with red and already flooding with tears of fear. Jungkook could hear the short and erratic breaths escaping you, and it made him feel worse.

“Jungkook?!” Your voice was muffled and full of fear, just as Jungkook expected it to be with the piece of cloth wrapped around your mouth. “J-Jungkook, what are you doing? Where am I? What – what are you going to do to me?”

That last question struck a chord in Jungkook; he knew what Namjoon was going to do to you, and he hated it – he didn’t want you to spend your last few days in complete fear. He coughed, shaking his head. “Nothing you need to know.”

It was silent for a second and Jungkook wonders if that just made it worse - he wouldn’t know. If he was faced with certain death he’d just accept it, no questions asked, but he has to take the fact that you have emotions into consideration.

He waits for you to say anything else, keeping his focus on the quiet road in front of him. Then, he heard sniffling. His head snapped upwards towards the rear-view mirror, and he was surprised and contrite to see tears slipping down the reddened skin of your face.

“You – you’re going to kill me,” you whimpered, screwing your eyes shut. Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes widened at the blunt statement. “I’m not stupid… You… After you get my father… I’m – I’m gonna die.”

Your voice broke on the last word, and unlike earlier, you didn’t fight the tears that erupted from you. They trailed down your face in silvery rivers, marking your skin with emotion and Jungkook gulped, taking a deep breath and trying to stay focused.  

“I… I actually trusted you!” Your voice is hysteric now, “God, I knew I shouldn’t’ve told you anything about me…”

“That’s not what’s gonna happen, sweetheart,” he murmurs quietly, and it’s loud enough for you to hear because your sobs have been reduced to small sniffles. He clenches his jaw, rolling his shoulders back and gripping the steering wheel tightly. He doesn’t know what he’s saying, but the protectiveness he’s feeling is taking control of his words - and he finds that he doesn’t disagree with them. “I’m not gonna let that happen to you.”

Jungkook knows that there’s a 50% chance that he can’t come through with his promise – but he doesn’t care, especially as your eyes lose their hostility towards him a few minutes after and your heartbeat calms. He’s strangely determined to see you live - you deserve that much.

•••

“We’re here,” Jungkook mutters from the front seat. His words stir you from the sleepy and confused daze you were in previously, head starting to pound from the crying you had done earlier and fear still in the pit of your stomach. You’d be lying if you said you were completely comfortable with Jungkook – he was involved in getting you kidnapped, after all – but some part of you wanted to believe his promise and trust him.

You’re still tied up so you can’t manage to even sit up independently so you can take a peek out the window, but Jungkook exits the driver’s seat and flings the door open, pulling you out uncharacteristically gently and hauls you into his arms. It’s awkward and the sun is blinding you, you’re still in your gown from the banquet and you must look a mess, but your looks are the last thing on your mind right now.

The building Jungkook has stopped outside of is tall, broad, and made out of a dull grey stone and glass. It’s surrounded by high gates and has a car park out back filled with numerous cars, and beside it stands two other buildings - they look like apartment blocks. You wonder how these people haven’t been caught by the authorities yet, but you realize that they were most likely hired by the authorities - so who is it that wants your father dead?

Trick question - everyone does.

Jungkook stops outside of the gates and re-adjusts you in his arms, bending down just a tiny bit to speak into a little intercom that is directly beside the closed gate entrance. You gasp as you see a red laser run over Jungkook’s open eye – a light glows green in confirmation and then the gates are opening slowly but surely.

He doesn’t wait for them to open fully, slipping through the amount that has opened and striding towards the doors of the main building. As you look up at Jungkook, you notice that he looked completely and utterly blank – no light in his eyes, no slight smile lingering on the corner of his mouth – just complete and utter blankness. And that scared you more than anything - even though you had only known him for a few hours, he’d always looked so… so full of emotion.

The doors of the main building open suspiciously easily, and then Jungkook is walking through the surprisingly bright halls. There are people standing around, talking, drinking coffee, doing whatever people do, and only a few stop to glance at the sight of Jungkook, dressed in suit and tie, carrying a women tied up and in an expensive and luxurious gown. This must be a common occurence.

The fear in you is thriving now. Your stomach feels uneasy and unsettled, and you find yourself seeking comfort from the one person that you know even the tiniest bit – Jungkook. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge you shrinking into his chest though, and keeps walking, occasionally nodding to some people, the same blank look on his face.

Jungkook walks until he reaches a black door, completely bare except for a silver doorknob that he turns so that he can enter the room.

Your heart is beating fast now. You find yourself shutting your eyes tightly, dreading what was to come, but the only thing you were met with was silence. You open your eyes – they’re all staring at you.

Four men, not including Jungkook, who is still holding you close. All sitting around a large conference table, facing a gigantic TV and numerous computers and machines. They’re all silent, watching you closely as Jungkook sets you on a chair at the table, still tied up and gagged.

One of them sighs, running a hand through his hair and letting a chuckle escape his lips. “Jesus, Kookie. At least untie her.”

He’s tall, with a deep voice and dimples that don’t suit his profession or his appearance. He’s being awfully nice for someone who just had you kidnapped.

Jungkook, who’s standing behind you, scoffs but nevertheless he undoes the ropes that are digging into your skin. You notice that he spends a second soothing over the sore skin with his thumbs before he moves onto the gag tied around your head – and so does everyone else, because most of them are raising their eyebrows but they don’t object to anything.

Once your untied and ungagged, it almost feels as if you’re more vulnerable. You hug your arms to yourself, casting your gaze to the ground and hoping for the best even though you have a bad feeling about everything.

“Look up, doll,” another voice says. You daren’t disobey anybody in this room, and so you look up, meeting eyes with another one of the men. He has blonde hair, platinum and shiny, and plump lips and you acknowledge that he’s handsome, but it doesn’t stop you from wanting him to take a hike and never return.

“I know you’re confused,” he starts, voice condescending and making you clench your jaw. If you don’t get an explanation, you know you’re going to start crying. Fear is constricting your chest and even Jungkook’s presence isn’t helping. “But we’re not gonna hurt you – if your father co-operates.”

As soon as he says the words, you know you’re basically dead. “My father won’t come for me,” you mutter, taking the people in the room by surprise. “He doesn’t care about me, and I hope you know that.”

The one with dark, silvery blond hair grins from his space at the computer. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong, princess,” he comments, looking away from the computer. “Because either your father was kidnapped a few hours ago, or I’d say he’s coming to us.”

Your heart stops in your chest, eyes widening. The surprise shows on your face and you’re genuinely confused – your father? Willingly handing himself over? Willingly giving himself up, without a fight, just to save his daughter, that he despises? It sounded fake.

"Excuse me?” You echo, leaning forward. You don’t believe it - your father would never give himself up for your sake. The last one at the table raises an eyebrow at your reaction, mint green hair flopping as he rolls his neck. He turns to Jungkook, who’s still standing behind you, his hand on your shoulder protectively.

“Go take her to your apartment, Kookie.” He averts his attention to you, and you almost shiver at the sheer lack of emotion in his dark, dark eyes.

“We’ll spare you, but only because Kookie’s taken a liking to you. So - your father shows, you live. If he doesn’t,” a cold grin spreads across his face, “Better start thinking of your last words, baby girl.”

His words conjure a shiver that travels up your spine, and you register what he said only when Jungkook is grasping your wrist and pulling you out of the room, letting you exit first as if to shield you from the stares of the men inside.

Jungkook has taken a liking to you? Hard to believe, after the kidnapping and stuff, but also easy to believe. You weren’t oblivious – the promise he had assured in the car, the way he seemed to be protective of you when around people who were dangerous. You just figured that that was how Jungkook was - but apparently not.

You just - it… it seemed unreal, how lucky you were to be spared. Your mind was blank, and yet you began to feel sadness rise in your throat. You never particularly liked your father, but he was the last bit of family you had. You - you’d be alone.

The air is thick between you both as Jungkook leads you out of the main building and into the second building that looks more like an apartment block rather than the office that the main building was. He keeps sneaking glances at you and you pretend not to notice, until he leads you into the elevator and you’re stuck in silence.

“About… about what they said earlier,” Jungkook mumbles, leaning nonchalantly onto the railing of the elevator. He bites at his lip, feeling an extremely foreign feeling in his stomach at how small and confused you look. “I’m not gonna pretend that they were lying – because they definitely weren’t – but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

You nod, staring at the red carpet of the elevator, “I guess… I guess I’m still kind of uncomfortable around you.” Seeing the discouraged yet understanding look on his face, you shake your head. “But I’m on my way to being comfortable with you, definitely. When… when this whole… whole horrible thing is over-”

Your voice breaks and you’re cursing yourself for being so weak. Your father hates you, but you’re still going to miss him. You’re going to be spared but you’re still scared senseless by those men in the conference room.

Jungkook is torn between comforting you and not comforting you – he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and he’s rusty with his… ‘emotions’, but he’s read that hugs help people calm down, and you definitely look like you could use a hug.

He settles for pulling you close to his chest, resting his chin on your head and waiting for an objection of some sort. He doesn’t hear one, and sighs, shutting his eyes tight, wondering how screwed up your lives were on a scale of ‘White Picket Fence’ to ‘Cannibalistic Father-in-Law’. He decides that you’re pretty high up on the scale.

“Come on,” he says now, pulling away from the embrace and grasping your wrist. You notice now that the elevator doors have opened and are displaying a clean white wall. He pulls you through the hallway, past numerous wooden doors with numbers on them, until he reaches the one at the end of the hall. After pulling out a key card and swiping it, the door opens and reveals his apartment.

Jungkook tugs you in gently, a hand grasping your wrist softly. You linger in the living room while he delves further into the apartment, and busy yourself with calming the conflicting whirlwind of emotions in your stomach by peering around at where Junkook lived.

If apartments could have personalities, Jungkook’s definitely did. It was mostly black and white, as if the apartment had come like that, but it had splashes of colour here and there; a lone t-shirt, a small and old photograph, and, amusingly, an Iron Man figurine.

“I take it you’re a bit worn down?” He asks, returning with a shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. You hadn’t realised it, but you definitely were – your head was starting to ache, too, and the dress you had on felt more tight than usual.

You nod, and he hands you the clothes with a sheepish grin. “They might be a bit big, but it’s definitely better than sleeping in that.”

“True,” you agree, cracking a weak smile and accepting the clothes off of him. He directs you to the bathroom that’s next to his bedroom, telling you to go there when you’re finished dressing. After removing your dress, you only seem to notice the red marks that are still engraved in the sensitive skin of your wrist. Wincing, you pull the clothing over your body, trying not to irritate the marks and make them worse.

When you were finished, eyes drooping and mouth yawning every five seconds, you trudged into the room next over, your dress bundled in your arms. Jungkook is lying in bed, on his back and staring at the ceiling. When he notices that you’ve entered the room, he sits up, taking a glance at the dress in your hold.

“Just put it in the corner over there,” he comments, lying back down and waiting with baited breath for you to join him.

It’s awkward at first. Of course it is; you met Jungkook only yesterday, confessed your feelings within 24 hours and at the same time felt almost completely comfortable with him. You had never really had feelings for someone before – was this what it felt like?

A few minutes had passed and it’s getting cold despite the duvet that’s covered both of you. You’re almost sure that Jungkook is holding his breath because he’s so nervous, and decide that maybe you have to take a chance. You wiggle over in the bed until you’re directly beside Jungkook – the warmth radiating from him makes you sigh and wrap your arms around his broad chest.

It seems like hours before Jungkook finally releases a breath and starts acting normal; as normal as an assassin that was hired to kidnap you could act. One of his arms has wrapped around you and his breathing has evened.

“That picture in your living room,” you begin quietly, breaking the comfortable silence that’s settled over you, “What is it?”

He doesn’t speak for a while - a whole novel of choices is relaying in his mind right now. That photo was extremely personal and tended to stir emotions up within him, but he quickly realises that in order to make your situation work, he had to open up to you. Even if he hadn’t spoken about it in years.

“It’s my mother,” he answers. His voice is uncharacteristically small, and it almost reminds you of a child. “She was beautiful - well, you could see that from the picture…”

He inhales deeply. “She always smelled like flowers and she gave the best hugs - and when she died, a part of me died with her, I guess. I had no other people in my life - my dad walked out on us, she was an only child, and my grandparents were dead. I was only 8 at the time, but I was living on the streets and scrabbling to survive. That’s when I was recruited.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, “I know how you feel. When my mother died, I felt as if I’d never be happy again. It was horrible, like a… a cloud. A rainy cloud, just constantly hanging over my head. And then my aunt and uncle were gone, too, and it was unbearable. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. And then my grandmother was gone too.”

“You’ve had a much worse experience than I have,” he notes.

“Some would say that,” you agree, “But my grandmother taught me to keep looking ahead, you know? To always remember that the sun will keep rising. To remember that happiness is everywhere, and that I’ll find it one day.”

He notices your voice trail off sleepily as you finish, and he glances down at you - your eyes have fluttered shut, your head on his chest and your mouth opened in a small 'o’ as you slip into dreamland.

“I never thought happiness was a thing I deserved,” Jungkook whispers finally, minutes later. He heaves a deep sigh, and then he murmurs, “I never thought it’d come to me, after everything I’ve done. But… but you’re here, next to me, and I think it’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

He may be imagining it, but he thinks your embrace tightens around him.

anonymous asked:

In your opinion, why is Ran THE girl for Shinichi? I apologize if you have already answered this question before

Oh, dear Anon, are you sure you’re ready for this? 

There are so many reasons why Ran is THE girl, as you so adequately put it, for Shinichi, that we’d finish way before if you asked me why she wasn’t. But, here’s the gist of it: 

She’s pretty much the only one who totally and wholeheartedly understands him. I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times, but it’s pretty clear to me in the file of how they met (Ran GIRL and Shinichi BOY) that Shinichi was probably bullied/had little to no friends until he met Ran. Yukiko says they’re going to a new preschool, and Shinichi doesn’t know anyone or show signs of having met other kids or having made friends previous to that moment, so I’m guessing his first friendships weren’t all that friendly. Hell, the moment he enters the preschool the first thing he wants to do is look for the library, where he can be alone. Except that all changes when he meets Ran: how much you want to bet the reason he was so adamant on helping her against the bullies is because he knew firsthand what that bullying felt like? And how much you wanna bet that she’s the one that helps him make friends later on in Elementary and Middle School? That she’s the one that is constantly encouraging him to open up and not be scared to meet others and establish relationships even though he pretends to act like he’s too cool for all of that? (He’s not, he’s just shy and a little bit scared, and she knows that).

And when they meet, they barely know each other but already she’s telling him not to act so pretentious and show-offy. Already she’s showing him she won’t back down, she won’t be so easily impressed. He’s going to have to work for it. And yet, she’s already showing him so much kindness –so much of the kind he’s probably never been shown before– with that precious smile and that nametag she makes him, and already she understands him perfectly. She sees through him just like he sees through her. 

And this is the case time and time again. People often mischaracterize (in canon too) Shinichi, or misunderstand his actions, but Ran is always the first one to correct them, to see the truth behind his actions and words. She knows him better than anyone else, sure: she knows what he likes and dislikes, and his habits, and everything that’s happened to him. She even knows his blood type. But it goes beyond all of that. She understands him. She can see when he’s bluffing, or lying. She can tell immediately when something is wrong even if he pretends like everything’s fine. She understands the motives behind his actions and what fuels his movements. She gets him. And for Shinichi, who has trouble expressing his feelings and what he thinks, he needs someone who will understand regardless. And Ran does that. 

She understands him, and perhaps more importantly, she accepts him. Shinichi is weird and easily self-centered and a Holmes freak and likes being around danger too much for his own good. The reason why he probably had trouble making friends was because he loves reading and mysteries so much. But Ran accepts all of that –the good parts (his courage, his good looks, how reliable he is) but also his bad ones. And, most importantly, she not only accepts all of those flaws, but loves them as well. She isn’t just amazed at his good qualities, she sees the flaws and loves him regardless. Even more so, if possible, because of them. 

I mean, for crying out loud, every time they go out she’s surrounded by cases and/or in danger, and she still wants to stick around and will still give her life for him. If that doesn’t tell you how much she’s the one, I don’t know what will. 

Not to mention that she compliments him perfectly. For someone who is often so arrogant and pretentious, Ran is the kind of person he needs –the kind of person who will snap him out of his dream-like state of “I’m legitimately the boss” and will make him focus on what’s real and true and serious. And yet, she’s soft and sweet and gentle and patient and understanding. She’s someone who will kick his ass, but also hold him until he feels better. And lord knows, after all the pain he’s been through, he’s going to need that reassurance and that comfort. 

She can predict his movements and act accordingly with such ease, that sometimes they barely even need words to communicate. The beauty with them is that they’re pretty much the embodiment of that “show, don’t tell!” writers are so in love with. Their actions speak so much louder than their words –for so many reasons, but especially because of the situation they’re put in– that they don’t need any of that externalization of feelings to understand how the other one feels. They show and they show and they show –and sometimes they tell, too (coughcough London)–, but it doesn’t matter either way. They’re separated –okay, kinda– and still they manage to maintain that bond, that strength, because they trust each other and know each other and understand each other like very few do. 

And not only that, but Shinichi is the kind of person who is always doubting and suspicious of other people. He’s not someone who trusts easily, and whose trust is often betrayed. He can’t, in general, have nice things. Except Ran. Ran is the one constant in his life, the one person who’s stuck with him through thick and thin –the one person who was with him when his parents left (even though he was fine, totally fine), when he doubted himself, when he was wrong in his first deductions and when he absolutely nailed his first ever case. She’s been through everything with him –they’ve been through it together– and he knows, whatever happens, he can trust her and believe in her and confide in her. And he needs that constant so that he doesn’t go mad amidst everything he’s going through. 

You wanna know the real reason Ran is THE girl for Shinichi, Anon?

She keeps him sane. And because of it, she keeps him alive. 

And there is nothing more worthy or important than that. 

Pompeii 13

Kankuro made a full recovery, but Sakura’s hand would take a little longer to heal and get the feeling back in it. Gaara had held her hand all through the night in anxious worry, holding it even after she fell asleep in a chair by Kankuro’s bed.

When she woke in the morning, it was a few hours before dawn. Gaara’s brother was already stirring and she could see the signs of recovery. He’d be a bit groggy for the next day or so, she told Gaara, but it would be no worse than what happens during and after a cold. He would be right as rain in time for Founder’s Day.

“Thank you for mixing the Holy Water.”

Sakura frowned, thinking that an oddly specific thing for him to thank her for. “It was no problem.”

Gaara nodded, looking down with a soft blush across his cheeks. “It’s not easy to find someone who is brave or willing enough to handle both Holy Water and Dragon’s Bane. Even Chiyo is weary and he handles both more than anyone.” He paused to swallow before glancing up into her eyes again. “Most of our kind, most people in Pompeii are deadly fearful of one or the other, but you handled both without flinching. We haven’t even known you that long.”

“Gaara,” Sakura nearly laughed, smiling softly at the boy who was looking more and more like a frightened child. She drew him close and stood on her tiptoes to draw him into a hug where his face buried in her neck. She pat down the back of his head, combing through his hair with her short nails in small circles. She felt him shudder in her arms and deflate a bit. He must be exhausted.

Sakura was still in the sweats from yesterday and she didn’t doubt she had smelled better, but Gaara didn’t seem to mind as he all but melted into her arms. She remembered what he had said to her the first time they met. A sandman who can’t sleep. She didn’t know how he could still function, but she knew that no matter what he was, sleep was good for his soul. Gaara needed rest just as much as his brother.

Sakura rocked on her feet, softly back and forth, nearly unnoticeable. She hummed into the side of his head and traced circles into his back. When he went boneless she caught him with one arm around his back and the other slipping under his legs.

One of the things she remembered being teased about the most in med school was her stupid strength. A critique of nurses and female med students in the program was their lack of upper body strength. The sexist male interns made it a point to help their chances of being hired over their female competitors. Sakura never let that become an issue for her.

Gaara wasn’t heavy as she carried him to the far wall where a second, pop out cot waited. She rolled it out using her foot and pulled it close to Kankuro. Sakura set Gaara down on his side and he instantly curled up like a child, fingers still caught in her lab coat. Sakura slid it off and laid it over his body like a blanket.

The sand on the floor stirred when she began to step away, but Sakura went right back to Kankuro’s side and checked his vitals once more. She glanced down at the sand, sensing it’s agitation.

“I won’t let anything happen to either of them.”

The sand settled and Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed like both boys would be able to recover this way.

Sakura brought her laptop into the room and booted it, prepared to update a couple of files and do some searching on dragon’s bane and Holy Water.

Sakura didn’t have a lot of date digitalized, so she wasn’t expecting much, but a handful of files popped up with the search words highlighted. Kakuzu was one of them, having listed Holy Water as one of his ‘allergies.’ There were several she recognized and several she didn’t.

Doing some detective work, Sakura extrapolated a pattern in the patients who needed Dragon’sbane as a medication and used that knowledge to pull hard files and update the database. It was slow work that would take days, but it was easy and fast and Sakura felt herself learning as she muddled through the files. Everything she read made her a better doctor. Everything she studied made her more helpful to the people in her new home.

She read and worked until the sun was up and Kankuro stirred.

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More To 1 Side Of Her

Title: More To 1 Side Of Her
Character(s) Featured: Wade Wilson (Deadpool), Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner, Thor Odinson
Pairing: Deadpool x Reader
Words: 3,161
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Rating: M (Mature 16+)
Author’s Note(s): Hello, hello, hello my poppets! Welcome back to another Fiction Request after so long. Again, for the many who come to read my stories, I would like to take this moment to say thank you. I feel truly honored and flattered that you are all entertained by my stories and/or ships. I cherish it with all my furry heart. Mew! Okay, we have received a request from an Anonymous admirer. It says: Can you do another deadpool x reader where reader is really nice and sweet around him and the avengers but when her friends come around she’s an insane, badass chick and deadpool is in awe?? (Btw love your blog) I’m really glad you love it, Anon! Please stop again to tell me your thoughts on the story. Hope you enjoy the story, everyone!
Summary: Hey there, kids! It’s your buddy Deadpool here. You know, that sexy ass mercenary who’s in that fucking awesome movie that kicked X-Men straight in their bell grandes before fondling a few of them with kindness. You know who you are…Wolverine. Did you know that’s the only place that’s smoother than baby’s bottom? Clean as a whistle… Anyway, there’s this special girl that makes me wanna unsheath my katana in front of her and shish her kebob if you know what I mean. Your silence worries me. She’s a sweetheart and I mean, sickeningly sweet. Like extreme-obese-kid-hiding-in-the-corner-eating-300-twinkies-while-having-a-diabetic-stroke sweet. Oh yeah, I’m hooked. Apparently, a bunch of her girlfriends, or her lesbian lovers as I always tell myself when I play with Mr. Winky, are coming for a visit and a whole new side of her is coming with them. Haha, coming—Ah, innuendos!

“Oh my God, Wade! What did you did to yourself?!” You exclaimed when you exited your bedroom and found Deadpool as he hobbled out of the elevator. He lifted his head slowly, the white from his lens were dull from being dragged across a rough surface. “What? This? It’s not that bad,” He managed to wince, “You should see the other guy. He just ran like he ate a really spicy chalupa, and they were divorcing him and taking the kids with them. He didn’t even buy me dinner, the fucker.” Wade hopped towards you, almost falling from tripping on his lifeless left leg. You caught him in the nick of time, groaning as all of his weight fell in your petite arms. “Come on, I’ll let you rest in my room and maybe check out those wounds,” You told him, sympathetically. “Nooo… I don’t wanna ruin your sheets by making them look like a virgin had sex and her period at the same time…”
After several minutes of arguing, and having to literally drag the grown man, you both made it to your room and onto your large full size bed. “I need to take off your suit”, You stated as you hovered over the collapsed mercenary. He gasped in a shock, “But y/n, we barely know each other. You haven’t even asked my father for my hand.” His hands moved up his chest to cover his pecs. You couldn’t help but smile as you rolled your e/c amused filled eyes.
You started working with the Avengers a few short months now and as the director warned you, it’s been definitely far from an ordinary day at the office. You weren’t a full fledged agent yet, given that your test results were not yet evaluated so you were given remedial assignments. Frankly, they were mainly writing reports, filing them, and repeat. You would take your time however, reading each of their retelling of the events that occurred and imagined how it would be working alongside them. Though they’ve often disagreed with the idea of putting you on the field. “Listen, I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, I just think that we should have her positioned elsewhere. Like behind a wall. Three continents away,” Tony suggested to the team, in one of the meetings the Avengers Initiative have on a daily basis. Steve pondered for moment, concerned for your safety if you were allowed to be part of group, “I have to agree with Stark on this, gang. As much as y/n or Fury might believe she’s ready for the field, she’s too darn fragile for the monsters we have to face everyday.”
“I’m all for having another woman around but I’m going with you guys. She’s so innocent, I don’t even think she’s ever insulted anyone let alone harmed them,” Natasha joined in, a strict frown upon her fair skinned face. Clint nodded, a smirk creeping on his lips, and his arms crossed as his body leaned against the black leather chair, “And who would make her famous cookies?! We’re talking about high quality, just-like-mother-used-to-make kind. Who has time to make mouthwatering sweets anymore?”
“I must agree with the archer. Her tempting scrumptious of confectionary goodness is most heavenly,” Thor chimed in. Bruce seemed to be the only level headed of the bunch, “We don’t know what she’s capable of. Perhaps there’s more to her than meets the eye.” *Oh, he also said the title just there! You had one job, Banner! Hello there, Deadpool again. Just wanted to remind you that this isn’t about them. This is a love story. With me. Not them. Me. Just wanted you to remember that.*
“You do know I have wicked regenerative powers, right? Have you read any of my comics?” Wade asked rhetorically as he watched you through his red and black mask. Your pink lips curled into a grin, looking back up at him from cleaning his right bloodied shoulder, “It doesn’t cover blood stained flesh, Wilson.” You managed to wipe off his entire torso, but you were concerned what was the damage behind that mask. When your slender fingers cautiously reached for it, all nonsense left Wade. He grabbed your hands gingerly, his eyes held on to your gaze, “Don’t.”
“Wade…” There was a wave of dysphoria that washed over him. You never saw him like this before. You have read the majority of the files of each Avenger however, Deadpool’s file was so large, it would’ve taken a decade just to get through the beginning of his mercenary career so you didn’t know the full extent of his scars. You held your breath, softly smiling as to assure him you won’t overreact. Frankly, you didn’t know how you’d react once that piece of fabric between them was gone. He sat there, frozen while your fingers found the velcro in the back. Slowly, you pried it open, the loud sound of it ripping apart was amplified by the silence in your bedroom. You finally reached the end of the leather spandex mask, and removed it from his head. Wade’s brown eyes glistened, slightly watery at the brink of spilling a tear. There was a hint of a strong odor, closely resembling sweat however, you weren’t going to mentioned that to the killing machine of a mercenary. His skin appeared aged, wrinkled, and several spots of flesh have rotted off. It was the final stages of an advanced cancer you’ve only read about. Your e/c eyes were glued to his appearance. He wasn’t hideous, you concluded. In fact, he didn’t lose all of his handsomeness. Well, he lost most of it, that’s a fact but there was a tragic beauty that was trapped behind his eyes that you didn’t have the heart to look away. “…You kinda look like a human prune,” You thought outloud. Wade was stunned. You didn’t scream, you didn’t cry in horror, you didn’t even try to beat him with a stick to see if the ugly came out. You used good ol’ fashioned dry humor. “Or maybe like a white Al Roker who lost too much weight, and then laid in the sun to shrivel up like beef jerky,” You added, tilting your head to one side as you continued to stare at his face. “ A white Al Roker… That’s-that’s a new one. An elderly man’s scrotum, a pornstar’s sagging vagina, but a white, wrinkled - Okay, I’m gonna go,” He replied, unsure what to make of this whole situation, until you grabbed his forearm, “Deadpool, what I mean to say is: you’re okay. I don’t mind how you look. I like you. Just the way you are.” With a soft smile and a gentle peck on the cheek, you walked out of your room leaving an extremely confused assassin who was ready to shoot himself in the head because his brain started to hurt from thinking. “I resent that last statement! It’s not hurting. Just slightly hitting itself against my fucked up skull. And I do think! I know my alphabet and everything! K-I-L-L-I-N-G, next time won’t you sing with me?…”

Several days had passed since that fateful afternoon and you continued to be your regular cheerful self, doing your best to assist the Avengers in whatever they need. Though they were already beginning to become quite fond of you, you cemented their affections by making a complete feast of a breakfast one morning. “Damn y/n, if you keep feeding us like this, I’m gonna need another hole on my belt,” Clint smirked, eyeing the large stack of Belgium waffles behind his dark tinted sunglasses. “This is too much, l/n. You didn’t have to go out of your way,” Steve said to you, his bright blue eyes shining in gratitude. You smiled widely, a light blush growing on the apples of your cheeks. “It’s really no trouble at all. It’s the least I can do for all you’ve done for me— Oh Vision, I’m safe to assume you don’t have a stomach so I got you these books on sociology, human civilization, and popular culture magazines instead. You know, for fun,” You handed them to the Vision in which he accepted them graciously. “Thank you, agent l/n. I will read them at my leisure,” He softly smiled, his blue computerized lenses briefly scanned each cover. You turned back to Rogers, “Well actually, I was wondering if I can ask for the day off tomorrow?” You fiddled with your fingers as you asked, averting his gaze. Despite being a great guy, and an incredible leader, Captain America was still quite intimidating. “I don’t see why not. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the occasion ?”
“Does our little girl have a date with a possible degenerate who isn’t good enough for our baby?” Tony teased, before popping a piece of bacon in his mouth. Almost immediately, Deadpool popped his head from the hallway in order to hear your response clearly. Your cheeks flushed even more, a nervous chuckle escaping your pink lips, “No, nothing like that. I’ve never been even asked out.” The entire table went silent for a moment (Wade, on the other hand, yelled in surprise at the discovery. Naturally, everyone paid no mind to him). She really is innocent, they thought but chose to ignore her reply. For now at least. “Some of my very close friends are in town and they invited me to a little reunion at our favorite place,” You explained as you walked back and forth placing a hot beverage in front of each person. “Can we come too?!” Wilson asked, appearing right next to you with his hands clenched eagerly as he waited for your answer. “Wade!” Natasha reprimanded, her hypnotic blue-green eyes burning with annoyance. “Fuck off, Widow — So can we?”
You couldn’t hold back your laughter as you replied, “It’s okay, Nat—Yes Wade, you can come — In fact, you all are welcome, you’re interested. It starts at 8:00pm. Here’s the address,” You patted the pockets of your worn out blue jeans. Finally finding what you were looking for, you handed the small piece of paper to the blonde super soldier before walking towards the elevators. “I’m going to head out now. I have to get ready. I’ll see you guys there?” Everyone nodded, some muttering a yes with a mouthful of food. You smiled at the red and black Avenger, pointed to a spot on the table. Wilson turned and gasped like a five year old girl. There was a large stack of hot, steaming, freshly made pancakes covered with syrup, and a dollop of butter on top. Right beside it was a small card written in perfect script, ‘For Wade’. He was ready to shower you with affection but as soon as he turned back, you were gone.

“Uh, are you sure this is correct address?” Wanda cautiously asked, staying close to her older brother as the entire team walked towards large arena in the seediest part of Manhattan. “I checked with F.R.I.D.A.Y three times to make sure and this is it,” Stark sharply stated, giving his phone with the coordinates a second glance. “I’m afraid this is the location. I looked through the worldwide web and all sites point to this venue. It seems to be where they have annual competitions in a sport called ‘roller derby,’ The Vision stated, placing his hands in the pockets of a dark colored hoodie Tony let him borrow. They decided to dress down for the occasion in order to not be recognized by anyone. Without realizing it, they all wore the same thing; dark washed denim, a large hoodie, and a baseball cap pulled forward to cover their face. “I totally feel like we’re in a gang like in the movie ‘Warriors’—Ever watch that movie? I kicked the shit out of these kids that were dressed like a baseball team. It turned out they were really a baseball team! Ha, who would’ve thought, huh? The little shits deserved it, though.” Deadpool growled menacingly, causing onlookers to be even more anxious. “This has to be a mistake. She wouldn’t be in a place like this,” Cap frowned, worried for you safety. Widow chuckled when her gaze fell upon a large poster advertising the main event, “Wanna bet?” A group of thick, vivacious women, donning roller skates, helmets, and tight boy shorts graced the image with their flirtatious poses and smokey eyes. The last one on the far right was blowing a kiss to any person passing by. Her lips were plumped and red, her waist visible due to the crop top she sported, and displaying an elaborate belly ring that connected to a chain hugged her hips. That skater was you. They looked long and hard at the poster. “No…That can’t be…” Barton drifted in disbelief.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a round of applause to our returning victors, Artemis’ Amazons!”

The place was packed, crowded with punk rockers of every age screaming for the team rolling into the track. It smelled of alcohol, cigarettes, weed, and another strong odor Steve chose to ignore as the Avengers pushed their way to the barricades. The announcer kindly handed the mic over to the captain who waved eagerly at the audience, “How you doin’, New York?!” They roared in excitement at being acknowledged, few even chanting her own name. “Alright, alright! Shut the fuck up now, I’m talkin’!” Tony raised an eyebrow, confused by the positive response she was receiving despite insulting them a few seconds ago. “I know the gang and I are excited to be coming home as champions for the second row but we were shitting bricks when we got a blast from the past! You remember her. Our little pussycat has come back to play for this night only! She sharpened her claws for this special occasion. So before she turns back into an adult, put your hands for our one, and only…Vixen!” You rolled beside your best friend and waved vigorously to the masses of supporters. Pressing your small hand to your red lips, you blew a kiss to them and even purposely pressed your arms together to show more of your cleavage. Everyone’s mouth dropped at your provocative behavior. You never behave like that in the tower. You even blushed when you accidentally saw Thor shirtless!
“Hello my fucking, sexy people! I hope you fuckers are ready for a hell of a game because this Amazon is ready to slit some throats, drink these bitches’ blood, and wipe the floor with these cunts!” You yelled into the microphone as your devotees clamored for you. They rushed closer to the bar that divides you from them. Wanda, Pietro, Clint, Vision and Natasha were pressed up against it, almost squeezing the life out of them. They would’ve been more responsive to the action but they were stunned from hearing you cuss for the first time since…well, ever! Vision was more neutral in reaction, since he himself have read swear words in several different languages. Steve’s mouth hung open, not believing what he just heard. Tony, for once, felt uncomfortable hearing those filthy words uttered. Most of all, because they were uttered by you. To the entire team, it felt like they just watched a baby smoke, drink, and cuss at the same time. It was rather disturbing. Deadpool, on the other hand, was in awe. As the game began, he watched you bodily harm every member of the opposing team, so much to the point they bled. Wade never found you sexier then covered in streaks of the crimson liquid. Out of nowhere, he held a counter to see how many times you cursed. *It was 354!* He shivered in delight with each hiss, or growl. “Ah, I think I just came a little,” The mercenary whimpered, once he saw you extend your arm and hit the opponent in the throat.

The tournament reached its end and naturally, Artemis’ Amazons won. The cleaning crew entered the track and began the daily routine of cleaning the blood off the smooth surface. Wanda, and Bruce grimaced at the arena that appeared more of a crime scene than a sporting event. “That was the most violent contact sport I’ve ever seen…” Banner said incredulously. Pietro smirked, placing his hand on his shoulder, “You obviously never watched a rugby match, my friend.”
“Hey guys, I’m so glad you came!” You exclaimed, running towards them with your arms open wide. You hugged them one or two at a time before you continued to dry your h/c hair with the black towel around your neck. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”
“Let me have your babies!” Wilson professed, grabbing both of your hands in his as he looked straight into your eyes. “Wait, that’s not right. I wanna put my mouth hole on your mouth hole!” You laughed at his responses but you understood what he was trying to say. At least, you hoped you did. The rest of the team shook their heads in embarrassment before Tony spoke up, “Were you always…”
“Always what?”
“This dirty?” The red and black Avenger wagged his hairless brows suggestively. Romanov stepped in, hitting Wade upside the head, “What Tony was trying to say is, were you always this…” Even she couldn’t bring herself to say it. How can you ask someone if they’ve always cursed like a drunken sailor? It was Rogers’ turn to try, “Did you always…”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, they wanna know if you always cursed,” The scientist said, exasperated by the delay. Iron Man placed his hand on his chest, taken aback by even Banner’s potty mouth, “Banner…” Your hands rested on your hips, shifting your weight to one side as you watched Earth’s mightiest heroes bicker back and forth over the timid physicist’s cry. Wade shuffled himself next to you, his gloved hands behind his back. You turned your head to him, waiting for him to say something but his eyes remained on them and he stood there silently. “…Do you do anal?” He finally said, inquiringly. You smiled widely, moving in front of him, pressing your behind against him, and placing your hands on his groin, “Oh yes, I fucking do.”

Seven

Harry Styles Mini Fanfiction

Recent Writing | Masterlist

basic plot: harry is a lifeguard at the beach where y/n visits with her family

as promised here is the first part! i really hope you enjoy reading this as much as i’m enjoying writing it! just like i said, each part will be titled with a different day and will continue all the way up to july 5th (day seven). please leave me feedback!!! :) xx

Day One

There was no hope in trying to get comfortable in the least bit. The sun was beaming through the windows of the Kia, making everything sticky and sweaty and unbearably uncomfortable.

“Are we almost there?” My sister groaned from the opposite end of the back seat, sitting behind my father in the drivers seat. Surprisingly, unlike years before, there hasn’t been an hour wait, pushing back the arrival time, because of traffic on the highway.

“Soon Melanie.” My mother responded promptly, peaking over her shoulder as if to make sure you were both still fastened in your seatbelts. “Y/N” I saw her mouth move as she spoke my name, but my headphones prevented me from hearing anything. “Y/N!” This time she was much louder, and I removed the pieces from my ears.

“Hm?”

“You alright?” No.

“Yep.” I answered her sharply. Nine-hour car rides were not fun in the slightest, especially when you get carsick. Thankfully, the Dramamine was drowsy enough that you slept for majority of the ride.

My sister chimed in again. “Do you mean like and hour soon? Or twenty minutes soon?” Thirteen was a rambunctious age. My mother and sister started going back and forth about complaining and whining, and I tuned them out, putting your headphones back in and turning up my Ed Sheeran playlist.

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An X-Files Primer

Hi! People on Twitter said they’d be interested in a list of twenty standalone episodes of The X-Files to watch just to get a feel of the show without watching nine seasons before the 24th. 😅 So I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorites and some of other people’s favorites– classics, genre episodes, a sample of standard quality ones, and a few just for the OTP. 

None of these (aside from the pilot) are a part of the ongoing myth arc of the show– that’s for you to check out on your own if you’re interested in continuing! These are also not every quality episode of course, I left you a lot of treats in there. I only went through Seasons 1-7 because the last two are a bit different (some people hate them. I enjoy them quite a bit!) but I included one episode in Season 9 because it’s my favorite.

I can’t promise that there are no spoilers for the myth arc in these episodes but I did steer clear of episodes I knew were a major part of it so you’re probably mostly good? Here is a list of common triggers/fears in The X-Files if you want to check that out for these episodes.

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Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 17x18

Where do I begin? wait let me begin by apologising for how late this is, real life was to blame, oh and the fact i’ve been working on the episode tag lol

ALSO, LONG-ASS POST. BEWARE.

This episode was one of my absolute favourites. We learned so much about Sonny, and we also saw so much of what we already knew be confirmed.

Sonny and his Faith

Again, where do I begin? I have to mention Sonny attending mass every week (making him more religious than we suspected, perhaps), and I also have to mention his cousins thinking he might become a priest himself. Sonny certainly has the empathy for it, the kindness, the purity of heart, the faith. But I think he made the right choice in not following that path. I think that helping victims, it’s a better way for him to serve God. I think Sonny knows that. I think it gives him strength.

Sonny’s face when he saw Sister Nina’s dead body was everything. He crossed himself, like he often does, but this was even more soul-crushing for him. He had a job to do, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than shake his head, he even had to sit on a nearby tree and put his face in his hands because he couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t deal with the fact a nun who gave up her life to help trafficked girls, a nun who had the option to leave the church and get married and live a nice, quiet life, a nun who chose to help others before helping herself, she ended up paying for that with her life.

That was the first moment Sonny’s faith was truly shaken in this episode, and I appreciated the fact Dodds Jr. saw and respected that. He asked Sonny to call it in, but he immediately saw that wasn’t going to happen and he sweetly said “don’t worry about it”. And Dodds himself, he couldn’t call it in either, not at first. He had to stare at poor Sonny a little while longer. Dodds clearly felt for Sonny in that moment. I’ve said it before, I’d like to see their relationship develop. They’ve never clashed, they’ve always had an unremarkable but sweet camaraderie, and the writers could definitely do more with them.

And when Sonny was waiting for the Monsignor, and that nun was giving him the run-around, the way he tried to plead with her, the way he said “Sister, please, this is about getting justice” was so beautiful. And a little naïve, perhaps. His reaction highlighted the fact Sonny thought he could get to her by appealing to her humanity. That wasn’t the case. Not with that nun, who had been coached well. But later, with Father Eugene, Sonny’s pleading did work.

Sonny the Cop-slash-Lawyer

Sonny’s idea to use the corrupt judge to get a warrant was amazing. Barba certainly thought so, he was practically gleeful. I love it when Sonny thinks outside the box (which is always) and has ideas which get the team out of a am. I also think these moments show what a good lawyer he’d make (assuming he passed the bar, which, come on, they gotta let us know about that soon). Sonny is not just a nuts-and-bolts cop. He thinks ahead, and he uses everything at his arsenal, and he finds loopholes and he uses tricks to get what he wants. To get justice. I think that’s why Barba grinned at Sonny’s suggestion. Barba was thinking “ooh, that’s smart, that sounds like something I’d do”.

And Sonny’s little jab at the judge, all “oh sure, you probably didn’t notice the nun, your honour, what with that teenager on your lap”, that was Grade A Sass. As we saw in that case with Abrams a few episodes back, Sonny doesn’t hesitate to blatantly disrespect corrupt authority figures. He doesn’t cower, he doesn’t hold his tongue because of their position. He thinks they’re scumbags, and he lets them know it. With a smile, of course, because that’s just who Sonny is.

The Barisi Corner

SO MANY FEELINGS.

I loved how gentle Barba was with Carisi. It was shocking, almost. Barba didn’t try to mock or tease Carisi even once. Because, as I’ve said before, Barba only mocks Carisi as a joke, over little innocuous comments, over Sonny’s goofiness or his over-eagerness, but never when it’s something serious. When it’s something serious, when it’s about a case, or when it’s about Sonny’s feelings, Barba always treats Sonny with (grudging, but increasingly less so) respect.

The way Barba tried to get Sonny to accept that the Monsignor was involved, it was just full of sympathy. I gotta say, when Sonny initially took the handwritten letter from the Monsignor and brought it to Dodds without questioning its veracity, I was a little disappointed. Obviously a photocopy of a handwritten letter proves nothing. But later on, when Barba tried to gingerly explain that to Sonny, when he brought up the letter, Sonny cut in and said he already knew that, he just didn’t want to believe it.

I loved that. Sonny has strong personal beliefs, but he doesn’t let them cloud his judgment. He files everything away, and he gives people (priests, especially, for obvious reasons) the benefit of the doubt, but he keeps an open mind. Always. Sonny is always willing to be proven wrong, to change his mind in light of new evidence. And on a Barisi note, I also loved how obvious it was that Sonny cares about Barba’s opinion of him. Sonny was quick to clarify that of course he considered the letter being fake, because he didn’t want Barba to think he’s totally naïve.

Speaking of Barisi, the way Barba looked at Sonny in that entire scene? The way he watched as Sonny began doubting himself? The way Barba approached Sonny, stood way closer than he had to, and essentially said, “Don’t feel bad, Carisi, same thing practically happened to me”? The way he tried to make Sonny feel better by saying that he had experienced doubt himself? That was lovely.

Barba genuinely tried to comfort Sonny. Barba tried to make Sonny understand that he shouldn’t feel bad for missing it, that he shouldn’t blame himself, because even Barba (i.e. someone way more jaded and experienced than Sonny) almost fell for it too. Because the Monsignor was that good an actor. Barba had no reason to do that, no reason to be so kind to Sonny, other than the fact he clearly felt bad that Sonny was in turmoil. As a Sonny but also a Barisi fan, I truly appreciated that Sonny didn’t go through that moment alone. I appreciated that Barba was the one with him, and that Barba toned down his snark and employed gentleness and warmth as he spoke to Sonny.

And then, when Sonny thought back to that line, “for the good of the Church”, and realized they had all been coached to say it? And Barba nodded in agreement, looking impressed? Immediately understanding what Sonny meant, and formulating a plan? Classic Tag-Team Barisi. I loved how Barba included Sonny, by the way. He said “we” should talk to the Monsignor and then he asked Sonny into his office, to be there for that meeting. I also loved how Barba let Sonny speak to the Monsignor directly, they were basically interrogating the man in tandem, exchanging looks and nodding at each other and being in sync.

I do wish we had gotten one last reaction shot from Barba, after the Monsignor laid into Sonny. Sonny looked like he was going to be sick, realizing that the Monsignor was lying so expertly, just like Barba had said, and then he turned to look at Barba but we didn’t see Barba’s expression. I wonder what it would have been.

Reasons of the Soul

i.e. Sonny and Father Eugene

All of Sonny’s best qualities were showcased in that scene, and even before then. When Dodds (conveying both his father’s and Tucker’s wishes) said they had to stop working the case, Sonny refused to give up. He said “it’s the least we can do for these girls”. That’s what fuels Sonny. The victims. Speaking for them. Helping them. Getting justice for them.

And Sonny’s face when Dodds said ‘[Father Eugene] doesn’t have a soul to save’ said it all. Sonny stared at Eugene’s picture, clearly thinking “everyone has a soul to save”. And that’s Sonny in a nutshell. Maybe not everyone deserves absolution, but they deserve a chance at redemption. And Sonny will give them that chance. Always.

And that scene. Sigh.

My favourite thing about that entire scene (Peter’s acting aside, for which there are no words), was how Sonny used the truth (his feelings, his faith) to get Father Eugene to come clean. Sonny played Father Eugene subtly. It was masterful. He started with, “I’m a Catholic so you have to listen to me,” he continued with, “I almost became a priest, I’m really faithful” to establish common ground (like Sonny frequently does in interrogations), and then he went with flattery. Sonny said “but I didn’t have the calling” which basically translated to “but you had that special calling, because you were a good man”. Sonny tried to remind Eugene of the reason why he became a priest in the first place, not an easy choice to make.

That was why it was so chilling when Sonny flat-out said “think about Eugene as a kid”, because it was both a moving, genuine thought but also a manipulative tactic. Sonny knew he had to appeal to Eugene’s humanity, and that was the most direct way of doing that. Eugene literally started crying as soon as Sonny said that. And then Sonny said “I saw you pray” and that was it. Eugene broke. Sonny knew there was still faith, somewhere deep down in Eugene’s heart. So Sonny reached out and touched Father Eugene, kindly, with compassion but also with authority, almost like Sonny was the priest absolving Eugene of his sins. Sonny spoke of God. Sonny reassured Eugene that God would forgive him, but only if he told the truth.

We’ve seen Sonny manipulating people before, finding common ground with terrible people, even (Rudnik comes to mind) but he usually uses the truth as a basis. This time, I truly think that Sonny believed every word he said, but I also think he was very smart in the way he spoke. He never lost sight of his goal. He wasn’t trying to make Eugene feel better (or worse). He wasn’t asking for an explanation, he wasn’t trying to understand. Sonny wanted to get justice. For the girls. And that’s what he did.

Stray Thoughts

Sonny’s face when he was all “What’s your name, Cowboy?” was amazing.

Barba’s face when he heard “pirate booty” was even better.

BUT FIN’S FACE WHEN HE SAW ALL THE BONDAGE GEAR, THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST, GIFS PLS

@iheartcarisi @greasy-sonny-carisi <333

I Hear You Now

Had to get this shit out of my system after 4x11. Valkubus one-shot. Not sure where this follows, I guess it’s something throughout S4

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Bo had never thought that one day Tamsin would leave her, because the blonde had always been there. She was there when Kenzi was kidnapped. She was there for her Dawning invitation. She was in her bathtub, fully clothed.

Then, after Tamsin’s rebirth, she was like everywhere. Every time Bo walked down stairs in the middle of a sleepless night, Tamsin was there, passing out on the couch, leaving the TV on playing some lame action movie. Every time Bo came home, Tamsin was there, in the kitchen with Kenzi, cooking something, or rather, burning something. Every time when Bo wanted to lie down on the couch, Tamsin was there, combing hair and painting nails with Kenzi.

God I know I found you on the street and took you home, Kenz. I never signed up for raising a kid together. That was Bo’s thought, when she saw Kenzi yelling at Tamsin when she did something wrong, and the blonde just had her head lowered, looking guilty.

Sometimes Bo wasn’t sure why Tamsin could be such a hard ass in her previous life, yet so docile under Mama Kenzi’s wings. Sometimes she thought Tamsin might never grow back to that woman who twisted her arm behind her back and pushed her to the wall in the police station while she claimed that she was going to kick her ass that day.

The enmity between them were gone, after the Yule party, but not for long. When Bo heard that she told Lauren about their kiss in Brazenwood, right before the doctor broke up with her, she was shocked, pissed, and hurt. Then, she found out about Tamsin and Dyson, and that really hurt. It hurt so much, that she couldn’t even figure out how to deal with it.

One night, Bo exploded, when she saw Dyson drop her off at the shack, with her hair all messed up, her clothes carelessly unbuttoned, and she smelled like she had just robbed a liquor store. She couldn’t remember what she said that night, but whatever she had said, Tamsin didn’t even give a fuck. She just smirked at her, and told her to mind her own Rainer business. You don’t love him, you don’t get to have him, fair game, right? Me and him? Maybe we’ll get so drunk one day and pop out some wolf pups together, but why is that your business, Succubus? If you want to fuck him, take a number…well, I guess you can join us for a threesome. Surely he wouldn’t mind. That was what Tamsin said to her that night.

Bo found it strange, that she couldn’t even remember her own words that night, but she remembered every single word of Tamsin’s. She even remembered the Valkyrie’s shimmering, blue eyes, with tears welling up inside.

That night they argued. She slapped Tamsin, and Tamsin fought back. They got so loud, that they eventually woke drunk Kenzi up. Kenzi yelled at them, telling them to stop or she would just leave them forever. Then the Russian girl burst into tears in the middle of the living room, crying over her loss, Hale.

That exact moment, Bo felt everything in her life was falling apart, and she could never get them back, ever again. Feeling hurt and angry, she never spoke to Tamsin again.

And then, the big battle with her father came.

******************************************

Waking up in her own bed, Bo found everyone standing there, looking at her. They seemed worried, and relieved, when she woke up.

Everyone was there, even Evony, Vex and Stella, but no Tamsin.

“Where’s emmm….where’s Tamsin?” Bo asked.

Everyone in the room sighed. Kenzi sat down on her bed, taking her hands in hers, and said, “Bo-bo, Tamsin’s…gone.”

“Oh.” Bo huffed out a light laugh, “She finally disappeared for good? God that’s great. I’m so tired of her shit…”

Kenzi took a deep breath, but even that didn’t stop her tears from falling. “No, Bo-bo.” She said, her voice shaking so hard that Bo could hardly understand her, “She’s gone. She died, during the…battle with…with your father and Rainer…” Then the Russian girl couldn’t help but cried out loud and fell onto Bo.

“Oh.” Bo said numbly. She watched Dyson turn around to hide his tears, and so did Trick. “Oh.” She repeated again. After a long pause, she said, “So when is she going to be reborn again? In a week? A month? Can’t be a whole year long, right? I mean-”

“Bo.” Trick interrupted her, “She won’t be reborn again. She was at her last life. Valkyries only get their wings in their last life. So…”

Trick didn’t finish his sentence, and Bo certainly didn’t need him to do so, because the rest of the conversation didn’t matter to her anymore. She just sat in her bed, watching Kenzi cry without saying another word.

******************************************

Things went back to normal after everyone recovered from the battle. The dead were buried, and the living kept living. Bo went back to her old life, hunting for criminals in the day, and preys at night.

Bo thought things would just flow like that, until one day, she found the flash drive under Tamsin’s pillow, when she and Kenzi were cleaning the shack. Kenzi insisted that they should keep Tamsin’s room as is, like one day the blonde was just gonna walk through the door to claim that she was back. Bo thought it was stupid, and childish, because Tamsin would never come back, but after saying that in front of Kenzi for a couple of time before, she decided to keep it to herself, because every time she had said that, Kenzi became extremely upset.

That night, Bo put the flash drive on her laptop, after Kenzi went to bed. There was a video file on it, and Bo opened it.

After the first few seconds of shaking, fuzzy image, Bo realized that it was probably some video Tamsin took before she went on her finding-myself trip. Kids. Bo shook her head, but somehow, she couldn’t turn her eyes away, when she saw her face on screen, because it looked so vivid, and alive, like she had never left her.

At first it was some random stuff, self pep talk, things she was going to do during her trip, places she wanted to visit, her to-do list. Bo stared at her face, fascinated by how it looked exactly like the bad ass Tamsin, yet in a teenager spirit.

After talking and mumbling for a while, Tamsin stopped. She paced in her room in front of the camera nervously, like she was hesitantly about whether she should say something or not.

Eventually, the blonde turned back to face the camera again, taking deep breaths. “Ok. Here we go.” She said to herself in the video, “This shit gotta be on your to-do list girl. When you come back from the trip, you gotta tell Bo that you love her.”

Bo froze, when she heard those words coming out from those low quality speakers on her laptop. At first she thought she heard it wrong, so she replayed the last few seconds of the video.

“…gotta tell Bo that you love her.” Tamsin said. Then she circled around in the room anxiously while mumbling, “Oh no no no, that’s such a bad idea. It’s not like she’ll…she’ll love you back or something…‘cause she’s like perfect…and she has like Dyson, Lauren and…”

Bo covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed hard. She felt this lump in her throat, and she could hardly breathe. She didn’t hear the rest of it, because it was all nervous mumbling. Then suddenly Tamsin stood in front of the camera with a smile on her face, and said, “Be brave and be strong. Be a great Valkyrie. YOLO, right?”

Bo took a deep breath, and watch it again, then again, in the middle of the night, in  her bed, with that dim light coming from the laptop screen. Then she stopped replaying the video, and she just sat there, staring at the last image of it, where Tamsin looked so determined and happy, as if she was about to have a great life, with all the good things, and love, waiting for her in the future.

Love. That word suddenly squeezed Bo’s heart so hard, that she grabbed her laptop and threw it to the wall. The screen shattered, but Tamsin’s smile was still there, broken. Bo kicked it, smashed it on the floor, and broke it into pieces, but that smile was still there, in her mind.

Fuck! Fuck! Bo cursed, when she started to shake and her tears started to fall down. She ran to the bathroom to spray some cold water on her face, but the only thing she did was smashing her fist on the mirror over and over again when she saw her own face, till she stopped feeling the pain on her hand. She choked in tears, trying to hold them back, trying to hold her sobs back, trying to hold back that agonizing pain, and endless sorrow that was about to devour her, but she just couldn’t. She bit her bottom lip, weeping. She pressed her forehead against the broken mirror and closed her eyes in despair.

Trembling in anguish and devastation, Bo whispered,“I hear you Tamsin…I hear you now…I hear you now…I hear you now…”

She repeated the same thing, over and over again, in the bathroom, alone. Her voiced echoed in the room, reminding her how fucked up her life was.

Now she finally heard her, but she knew she heard her a long time ago. She heard her when Tamsin kissed her. She heard her when Tamsin took that bullet for her. She heard her every time Tamsin looked at her. She heard her that night when she invited her for threesome with Dyson with that smirk on her face and tears in her eyes.

But she just never listened, because she didn’t know how to deal with her. She had no idea how to deal with it. She never thought it would be a problem, because things would just play out on their own, as their future unfolded. So she stayed in silence, because she thought the Valkyrie would never leave her.

Until she lost her, until now.