i want to board it one day

The time I ruined my high school teachers career and got her fired in the greatest way possible.

This story is widely known amongst my family and is constantly brought up and joked upon in my group of friends even years later. A buddy of mine suggested that this is the perfect place to make it public so let’s get into this shit storm.

Backstory: I was a senior in high school at the time and i had never been the brightest student. I was a solid C student and i had never received a detention or had any kind of bad student record. This is important because to this day, i still have no idea why the teacher treated me this way. The teacher, who we will name Mrs. Frank, had been a teacher there for more then a decade and was widely known for being a petty heartless bitch who the administrators saw as the golden child.

Mrs. Frank taught algebra, which is my worst subject, so naturally i had issues understanding the lessons and would ask questions frequently. To some these questions are easily answered but to me it was rocket science.

Usually when someone asks a dumb question, no one should address it however in Mrs. Franks case she would belittle me in front of everyone by saying things such as “And here comes the slow boy again” , “wow surprise surprise you don’t understand it again” “Really? We have to go extra slow for you today don’t we” etc…etc.

I tried going to the administration about it before but again she was considered the golden child. They would send someone in to examine her during class, she would act respectful and normal for one day, and go back to being a bitch the next.

This goes on for about half the year until i had enough. I went to the local radioshack, bought a recorder, and secretly recorded every insult she would throw at me. I would sometimes instigate to make up for the lost time.

Go ahead feed the fire.

Fast forward to the end of the year and im sitting in Mrs. Franks class when i ask a question. Her response, and i quote (because it’s burned into my brain) was-

“I’ve been teaching here for over 10 years and that was the single dumbest question I’ve ever heard come from anyone’s mouth.”

She continued the lesson without answering. I calmly stood up, packed up my stuff, and headed to the nurses office to dismiss myself from school. (We were allowed to dismiss ourself if we were 18.)

I went home, compiled all of the brutal tapes into one glorious masterpiece of insults, and headed back the next day to show the administrators. I sat down with the principal and we listened to a couple of the insults before he stopped me. He wanted more witnesses present as well as Mrs. Franks. He told me we would meet the next day where i could show him and the rest of the administrators the full tape.

I walk into school the next morning being the most nervous iv ever been for anything. I was called down to the office where i met with some board directors, the local school police officer, the principal, the vice principal and Mrs. Franks.

What follows was some of the greatest minutes of my life.

I watched as the administrators went from fed up with being in another useless meeting, to furious and speechless with some of them keeping their mouths open for the duration of the tape. I also watched Mrs. Frank go from confident and stuck up, to her realizing that she had f*cked up beyond repair.

She was publicly roasting herself in front of the most important people from the district.

The tape ended and without hesitation, the administrators looked around in astonishment and the principal turns to me and says “I think we have heard everything we need to, thank you.” And i was quietly dismissed from the room.

The final time i saw Mrs. Frank was leaving the room. I looked back and we made eye contact through her tear filled eyes as i gave the biggest most evil smile.

I returned to class the next week and Mrs. Frank was no where to be found. The story spread quickly throughout the school and i was seen as a saint. I had successfully gotten her fired and made it almost impossible for Mrs. Frank to return to her teaching career as well as cut off most of her connections she had with other teachers in the school. I had ruined her financially because no school district in the area would hire this walking piece of garbage.

If you’re reading this Mrs. Frank id like to take this moment to tell you to go f*ck yourself.

Witch Tips for City Witches

City Witch Tips for all of my fellow witches stuck in apartments, dorms or other city areas.

  • If you can’t burn incense you can make your own sprayable incense by mixing alcohol (usually vodka or rubbing) with essential oils and a bit of oil, spray in the air to act like incense
  • If you are unable to go outside for whatever reason to get rain water (in my case just no where to collect it safely), fill a jar or glass with regular water and keep it near a cracked window to charge it with the wind, sound and scent of the rain outside. Same goes for storm water
  • Trapped in city and unable to get ocean water? Sea salt mixed with rain/storm water can be an excellent substitute
  • To continue on with water substitutes, if you can’t collect snow crushed ice from your fridge will suffice
  • Low key warding/protection you can use: spray moon water, salt water or sprayable incense about your apartment or dorm, place sigils under doormats, furniture, inside cupboards, etc; place crystals about hidden or out in the open, sweep and dust out the door or towards windows
  • If you need melted wax to seal a jar or for any other magical purpose, but can’t burn candles, by a wax melter and melt that wax and imagine the light from the burner acting like a flame (plus they are rather cheap, I got mine for 25 bucks)
  • Need stars in your craft but too much light pollution? Glow in the dark stars on your ceiling or wall can work just as well for visualization. Print out pictures of your favorite constellations or planets and place them up on your walls or on your altar. Live video feed of the night sky can also be easily found on the internet
  • Bath magic is amazing for low-key ‘in the woods’ witches. Use teas, milk, oils, herbs, bath bombs, bubble baths, salts, etc that relate to your intent. It is also a good place to meditate if you have roommates or family around that would disturb you otherwise
  • If you do for whatever reason need to burn a candle, birthday candles are small, melt fast, and don’t create a lot of smoke or smokey scent
  • Sigils are another great low-key form of magic. To boost them up, use color magic related to the color you draw them in, write them using quills made of feathers related to your intent, use colored paper, rub a drop of essential oil on them, charge them with crystals or in your windowsill
  • You don’t have to burn sigils to activate them, which is hardly an option when you are in a dorm or apartment. Other options are: Shredding them, erasing them, soaking them in a bath or shower, using body heat or your own pulse, etc
  • Miss having the outdoors and plants around? Windowsill gardens can really help. Small plants you can consider keeping in your windowsill or counter-tops: succulents, cacti, bamboo, lemongrass, basic, rosemary, mint, rosemary, mosses, aloe, snake plant, pothos (and other vines), carrots, beets, shallots, lettuce, spinach, garlic, chives, parsley, oregano, thyme, and marigold
  • Open your window to let the wind and air from outside to help energize you and clear out negative energies inside
  • Fun places to put sigils: under furniture, carved into soap, onto shampoo/conditioner bottles, on your make up, inside phone cases, in shoes, under bandages, sewn into pillow cases and blankets, behind pictures in frames, underside of nail polish, carved into wax squares for your wax melter, keys and keychains, behind mirrors or in medicine cabinets, on bookmarks, on or in binders and pencil cases, on medicine bottles, and water bottles/travel mugs
  • Easy to make and dispose of poppets: carrot sticks (one of my personal favorites), apples or other fruit, clothe, paper, popsicle sticks, paper towels/napkins, toilet paper rolls, eggs, celery stocks, and cotton balls
  • The internet is an amazing thing. Need some sounds to help you focus or meditate? Easily look up the sounds of rain, storms, wind, ocean waves, jungles, forests, etc
  • Christmas lights are fun and great way to use discrete witchcraft. Select ones in the colors you wish for them to bring ie green for growth, yellow for inspiration, white for protection, purple for psychic abilities, etc. 
  • Some everyday things you can use for discrete witchcraft that don’t cost much at all or that you most likely already have: water, table salt, black pepper, paper, crayons/pencils/pens/markers, vinegar, milk, tea, highlighters, make up and beauty supplies, shampoo and conditioner, rubber bands, paperclips, thumbtacks, computer/phone/tablet, music/music player, playing cards, dice, air freshener, perfumes, toothpaste, rice, flour, sugar, honey, and all kitchen herbs and seasonings.
  • Can’t afford gemstones or crystals on college budget? Crackle and dyed quartz you can find super cheap at craftstores and online. I bought a whole bag for 4 bucks. Use them based on their colors and shapes. Can’t afford that but still want to use rocks in your craft? Find some rocks you like outside, again use their colors and shapes to determine their correspondences. Want to use them for a specific purpose? Paint sigils on them in the color that corresponds with what you want! Charge them in your windowsill or with your own energy and intent. There you go!
  • Pocket mirrors are cheap, easy to carry around and great for glamours and on the go magic. 
  • Seriously though, glamour spells are going to be a good option for you. use your make up, skin products, hair care products, brushes/combs, perfume, mirrors, toothbrush/toothepaste and intent. Good to do while you are getting ready for your day
  • Dream magic is another friend of the city witch! Use crystals, sigils, herbs, etc near your bed before you go to sleep, drink some chamomile, get yourself a dream journal (mine is literally a notebook with construction paper on it), keep it and a pen near you. In the morning write down your dreams, your thoughts, how you feel (tired, refreshed, groggy, etc), and interpret them. 
  • Can’t afford tarot cards? Print out some, you can usually find them online and they won’t last as long as a real deck but it is a good temporary solution. Want a Ouija board but can’t keep one or need it to be easily hidden? Print one out, draw on one on paper or cardboard, fold it up and store it once you are done. Want a pendulum but can’t afford one? Use your favorite necklace, bracelet or keychain!
  • Tea and coffee magic is great, make your own tea blends with the herbs you like. Or just buy simple green or black tea and add sugar, milk, etc depending on your intentions
  • As I said before, crock pot magic. The Modern Cauldron: brew and cook all day with it, fill your apartment with the scent of the herbs and food to fill it with the energies they correspond with and you get a delicious meal to come home to! Most dorms allow them. Rice cookers also work well.
  • Can’t afford fresh food? Have to survive on ramen, canned soup, and microwaved meals? That is okay! They even correspond with things! Tomato soup for love, beauty and passion. Beef ramen noodles for strength, courage and longevity. Microwave mac n cheese for beauty and feminity. Look at their ingredients and what they correspond with. Sure its not as glamorous as a making a huge made by scratch traditional meal but its kitchen magic none the less. Stir it with your intent while you cook. It isn’t fancy but it works just as well!
  • Use a notebook or binder for a nice grimoire, decorate it as much as you want on the inside. Print out pictures of nature, animals, planets, stars, places, crystals, etc that you cant’ access/afford and use them in your craft. Spell books and grimoires are powerful tools
  • Don’t have a wand? Use a wooden spoon. Tie a colored string or ribbon to it to correspond with what energy you want it to have and move and flick it as you would a wand. 
  • Knitting, crocheting, and knot magic is very apartment friendly. As well as sewing and embroidering plus it is super calming.
  • Glitter, sequins, and beads are great in witchcraft! Use their colors to determine their correspondences. Put them in spell jars, sachets, bottles, etc. Glitter tip: if you spill any don’t fret, get some packing tape, wrap it around your hand with the sticky part outwards and dab at that glitter spill. You will literally pick up all of the glitter in seconds!
  • Enchant and charge your pots, pans, skillets, and other cookware to make every meal magical
  • Make moonwater in your windowsills. Use it for cleansing, beauty, divination, clarity, protection and purification
  • Take walks. Even if it is a city there is still nature about. Pigeons flying about, potted flowers outside of stores, grass growing in front lawns, etc. Enjoy yourself, even if it is not some wild, vast forest you can still connect with your local nature.
  • Pick up litter or garbage you see outside, being in the city we all see it. The natural world around you will appreciate you helping out. Bring a bag with you when you take your walks or travel and fill it with wrappers you see on the ground.

I hope this was helpful to all of my fellow city and dorm witches!

OneNote is literally god’s gift to this earth. [ header art ]

I downloaded OneNote onto my mac air through my school’s office365 [which is a microsoft email login thing but is easily accessible on any kind of device and you can just delete the email acc later if you want]. OneNote can be accessed on a laptop, computer or ipad/tablet. i believe OneNote is available on the appstore as well?

I use OneNote as a digital bullet journal / planner and to write down all my study notes. i also have actual books for my study notes but i tend to prefer OneNote.

OneNote is super easy to use! think of it like an actual book:


1. DESIGNING THE COVER

When you open OneNote for the first time it will ask you to create a Notebook. You can name it whatever you wish and even choose the colour of it! You can have as many Notebooks as you like, so go wild !!


2. CHAPTERS

In your Notebook, you can have “chapters”, called sections or tabs. Depending on whether you use OneNote as a bujo or for study notes, these tabs can look like this:


3. PAGES

Time to fill your chapters! These pages will contain all of your content. Whether that’s a weekly spread in your bujo or a page on DNA molecules in your humanbio Notebook. You can have as many as you want! Pages on OneNote tend to look like this:

Once you click on which page you want, it’ll open !

4. SPREADS [for planners]

Spreads are completely personalised and customised depending on you! Anything you do in your physical bujo you can do on OneNote. Habit checker? Tables? Homework diary? Inspirational quotes? Cute doodles? Day-to-Day planner? 

This is just an example of mine, you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT with yours !!


5. STUDY NOTES

My study notes are basically just what my teacher says during class or puts on the board, which is why they’re almost always in bullet point form like this:

But obviously, you can edit your notes to be however you’d like them !!


6. OTHER INFO

One feature i really like about one note is the fact you can make the paper look like whatever you want. such as blank paper, margined + lined paper, graph paper etc. this is really helpful when writing notes and especially drawing diagrams !!

also, across the top is literally everything you’ll ever need.


IN CONCLUSION:

Please download OneNote !! it’s so user-friendly and customisable. I was honestly shocked that more people weren’t using OneNote in the studyblr community. It’s such a lifesaver near test + exam time because all of your notes are in one place !!

also, OneNote autosaves and doesnt close if you close your laptop [as long as you’re not logged out or the computer is shut down] so you’ll never lose your work !!

HERE is another post about me yelling about OneNote lmao

If you have any questions or problems, feel free to ask !! ((-:

SDCC 2017 Rebecca Sugar interview

Rewind and Pause interviewed Rebecca Sugar in this fifteen-minute interview. Here’s a sorta-transcript–not word for word, but basically what the questions are and how she answered, paraphrased.

Question: A lot of the show’s symbolism is inspired by Utena. Can you discuss that show’s influence?

Rebecca: When I was a teen, that show was an epiphany for me! It plays with the semiotics of gender and I was a bisexual teen relating to it in a way I’d never related to anything before. The show is beautiful and I love that she decides she wants to BE a prince after being saved by a prince. And it’s also funny. It’s so extreme that it’s funny, and that was a huge influence on me as well, that something could be so dramatic and so beautiful but also wacky. It’s so extreme that it’s powerful at the same time as being funny. I got to see the origins and see Guys and Dolls at the Takarazuka Theater when I visited Japan. Osamu Tezuka grew up in that town! You know, Princess Knight, which has everything to do with Utena. I got to see some of the roots there and it was a big influence. Amazing.

Question: Another influence, especially lately, you can draw comparisons between Steven’s miracles and Christ figures. Are you exploring this, and potentially modernizing that allegory, with different kinds of love?

Rebecca: We’re inspired by every voice that has ever spoken about peace. I think–I’ve been reading about Hillel the Elder and how he said “If I’m not for myself, then who will be for me?” The gentleness with which he approached everything is really inspiring to me. I think that I’m very influenced by my Jewish upbringing. I’m half Jewish and was raised Jewish. I’ve felt the feeling of belonging but not belonging. I’ve been moved by this incredible history and this wonderful community that I wanted to understand and be a part of. That’s all been a big influence on the show as well. It was all about growing up with my brother, and that was a big part of my life. There’s a lot of spiritualism in the show.

Question: I wanna ask you about the color symbolism? And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say thank you for showing our community on TV. About Steven: His Gem is pink, his shield is pink, his sword is pink, his shoes are pink! It subverts the tropes of a traditional male hero. Was that intentional?

Rebecca: Oh, it’s COMPLETELY intentional. Yeah, I think one of the things I wanted to do as I went into the show was address how intensely gendered shows for children are and dissolve that. That was my first goal. And I think it came in large part because as a little kid I always gravitated toward boys’ shows, and I felt extremely guilty about that. And I don’t think my child self should have had to feel bad, but I understood “this is not really for me.” So as we went into this, I wanted NO ONE to have to feel that. I wanted everyone who wanted to, to feel it was for them. Especially since it’s gender nonconforming as a show.

Question: Silly question: Peridot and Lapis are roommates. What do you think their biggest pet peeves are of each other? If they have any, I mean.

Rebecca: Gosh. I think Lapis is sort of both annoyed and comforted by Peridot’s infinite energy. I often thought of them like the sort of old cartoon idea of a small dog and a big sort of like doesn’t-really-care dog. With a small very very excited dog. I felt that that was a dynamic for them. So I think that that, like those characters, it’s annoying to Lapis but she doesn’t actually dislike it.

Question: Congrats on the Emmy nomination!

Rebecca: THANK YOU!

Question: I hope we get to see “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” and “Both of You” during the Emmys. How do you feel?

Rebecca: I’m so excited, and I’m so glad it’s that one. It was such a fun dream to make a musical episode. I always loved those, they’re always my favorite. I couldn’t wait to do ours. Everyone was firing on all cylinders for that episode. I got to do music with Jeff Liu and Ben Levin, and Aivi and Surasshu’s compositions for the finals were stunning, the backgrounds are incredible, the art is so beautiful, it’s Jeff Liu and Joe Johnston’s last board together, it was one of the last episodes I got to work on with Ian before he left to do his show, so it also has a special place in my heart, I remember seeing it come back and being in the edit bay watching it and my eyes were welling up because “this is it, this is everything I ever wanted.”

Question: Not to mention Deedee crushing it.

Rebecca: She’s amazing! And that was when she was doing Tommy! So we got her on a day she’d been doing shows all day, and she came and knocked that out.

Question: First take?

Rebecca: We did several, but all of those takes were amazing. I love writing songs for Deedee. And that one, it has some notes in it that I cannot hit. But I know Deedee can do it.

Question: Now when you write songs, you hear a lot of the demos you write on ukulele a lot, but you play other instruments. Do you find that you write differently depending on what instrument you’re writing for?

Rebecca: Yes! Oh, completely. I have my go-to ukulele chords. But I also like to write songs on the omnichord, which is like a synthetic harpsichord from the 80s. And it has a row of buttons, you hit a button and you get that chord. I can use it for experimentation for chords I might not have thought of. I got one off eBay, the OM-84, and it was a little buggy, it wouldn’t play right, would go out of tune, and I took it to get it looked at, and these incredibly corroded batteries fell out of it! With this cloud of red dust! So I can’t put batteries in it anymore. But I can plug it in and it still works.

Question: So for “Love Like You,” is it connected to any of the characters or any point of view, or was it more a one-off?

Rebecca: “Love Like You” is so unusual. It started as a point-of-view song for all Gems, and the thesis of the whole show, sort of toward Steven, and my own brother Steven, but because it was the credits, I wrote the song over three years in little pieces. I thought at the start that this is about an alien that’s looking at a human, who loves them, and the secret meaning of this is that they don’t have the capacity to feel this way. By the middle of it I was deep into the show and going through a real crisis of confidence, where I was like “why are people looking to me? It’s not right!” and these people were coming out of the woodwork to thank me for the show, people who had been able to speak to their families in these wonderful new ways, people who had become comfortable with themselves in these incredible ways that I had not been able to do! Where I was like “I’m so inspired by everyone! Why are they thanking me?” So the middle of the song I was sort of in that place. And about a year later, I realized the beginning was not what I had thought it was about at all. It’s not a secret meaning about an alien who doesn’t understand humans. It’s about the fact that I had always loved my brother and had these people who would love me unconditionally in my life, and because of my insecurity I had not been able to be there for them 100%, and I realized this was maybe one of the most human things I’d ever written, and I had written it by accident. So I got to conclude it. It was seriously written over 3 years.

Question: Recently we talked about how the show has been dramatic and full of conflict. It’s great but do you ever have concerns about taking the show–it’s a very positive show, so does the conflict have the potential to go too far, or do you like making it more challenging?

Rebecca: I’m excited to be more ambitious with the story, and the danger they’re experiencing also feels like a danger for us who are writing the show. Writing stories that are more ambitious and challenging. It feels necessary, because it’s about how love conquers all, but you can’t write that story without showing what comes up against that. I’m excited to explore the–you’re right, it’s scary to explore where hate comes from in a show about love. I want to–it’s a challenge to stay positive while exploring that. But that’s a challenge I experience in LIFE. And that’s a challenge we’re all experiencing right now. So it also feels like the time to explore that in myself and in the show.

IMAGINE YOUR OTP #24

Person A keeps a bulletin board in the kitchen. Every time they make a mistake or find a new flaw about themselves, they add a tack. Day after day, the bulletin board gets more cluttered with tacks, which worries Person B.
One day, Person A, gets home after a particularly bad day. They go into a kitchen, and grab a tack, preparing to put yet another on the board. But when they walk up to the board, the tacks are rearranged. They spell a word.
Perfect

the millionaire and his lover | jjk

summary: over the course of your lifelong friendship with jungkook, you can’t say that you’ve ever had the greatest ideas, and a fake relationship with the boy you’ve been in love with for years is no exception. 

{self-gratuitous ceo au, friends-to-lovers, and fake relationship trope rolled into one big shitstorm of a jungkook fic}

pairing: jungkook x female reader
word count: 18k
genre: fluff, angst, and light smut
warnings: alcohol mentions, smut
a/n: hello all! i wanted to kickoff my writing on this blog with a bang, so here’s a longish fic on my wildest dreams. 

When you first tell people that you happen to know CEO and multimillionaire Jeon Jungkook, they tell you one of three things:

1: You’re so lucky! Could you introduce me?

2: You must have saved an entire country in your past life.

3: Is he as much of an asshole as the news outlets make him out to be?

What you don’t say, though, is this: You and Jungkook have had history for as long as you could remember. As not only neighbors, but also childhood friends, you happen to know quite a lot about the man who made a name of himself before he even graduated from university. You would also very much like to keep quiet the fact that you’ve harbored a crush on the boy for quite some time now, obvious to everyone whose name isn’t Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook is, in one word, brilliant. He is brilliantly intelligent, brilliantly talented, brilliantly beautiful. He is suave and smooth and gets what he wants and if he didn’t possess such a disdain for the tabloids that do nothing but stretch the truth, he would have them wrapped around his finger. Sure, he’s no actor or singer, but he is a celebrity, and a skilled one at that. The media know no boundaries when it comes to a man like Jungkook, painting him as stunning yet rude, rich yet selfish, smart but cold. You know they blow his brief affairs out of proportion, and you know they will never know the boy who fell off of his bicycle in the second grade.

Jungkook is not powerful enough to replace the stars in your sky, but he is powerful enough to rearrange them right in front of your eyes, creating endless constellations that all remind you of him. He is the boy you have cherished since your elementary school days, when he would accidentally drool on your shoulder and throw sand into your mouth, and you are the girl who, despite all class differences, has stuck by him through thick and thin. It is not enough, but perhaps to him, it is.

“Do you ever try to mooch off of his wealth?” People ask you. “I would.”

And sure, every now and then you will ask him for money and he will give it to you, but your intentions are pure and you do not, will not, ever take his generosity for granted. Not when he has so much and you so little. You know what life is like when the world keeps trying to trip you, and a bit of smooth ground is not enough to keep you from forgetting the struggle.

That is, until you get laid off your job due to an influx of new workers, and your next student debt payment is due in roughly, a week.

What?”

Keep reading

Lucas made the board game. The writers made a point of telling us in season 6 that Lucas is an app developer - next season, we see a deadly app. (Yes, it’s an app - that’s an iPhone in the middle of the board game.) That board game is so high tech, Lucas is the only person on the show who could have made that. (Well, Caleb could have, but Haleb is endgame so he’s in the clear.) Also, AD knows every move the girls make because Lucas gave the girls the keys to his apartment, which he bugged with microphones and secret cameras. And the writers made a point of highlighting Lucas’ intelligence which lead him to being very financially wealthy. Lucas is NOT AD, but he sure as hell is working with AD, and is providing AD with his resources; intelligence, information on the girls and money. Marlene has downright confirmed that there is one puppet master pulling the strings, but, this person has helpers. Lucas helping Uber A is going to be one hell of a full circle moment. “One day she will get what’s coming to her.” I can’t wait to see Alison’s tasks on the board game. Alison is the one Lucas particularly wants to see crumble whilst AD wants them all to crumble. 

Writing Prompt Quotes

This is for everyone else to use. Tag me in your works, I would love to read them!


1. “When did I ever imply that I wanted you?”

2. “Let’s take a trip.”

3. “This place is for children.”

4. “Go home.”

5. “Stay away.”

6. “There’s nothing you could say to me that would ever make me stop.” 

7. “You’re scared.”

8. “I may be wrong, but…”

9. “I don’t bite.”

10. “Okay, darling.”

11. “Get me out of here.”

12. “You’ve been gone for so long.”

13. “Don’t fall asleep.”

14. “I adore you.”

15. “Do you love me?”

16. “You pop that gum one more time…”

17. “You’re such a fucking gemini.” (or any other horoscope sign you’d like)

18. “There’s a difference between being happy and being distracted.”

19. “You look just like… Nevermind.”

20. “I was angry and I took it out on you, which is totally unfair.”

21. “That was in the past.”

22. “Can you believe we did that?”

23. “I don’t like when you do that.”

24. “Get the hell out.”

25. “I never said that.”

26. “I don’t think we can do this anymore.”

27. “I told you not to say anything!”

28. “What’s wrong?”

29. “It meant nothing.”

30. “I miss this.”

31. “If I spend $4,250 on alcohol, it better kill me.”

32. “I want answers.”

33. “I don’t have anything to say.”

34. “If I gave you a chance, would you take it?”

35. “Look, look, look!”

36. “My sims get more action than I do.”

37. “You have to do it.”

38. “What are you laughing at?”

39. “Coraline is terrifying!”

40. “I heard you! Damn.”

41. “Do you think we were made for each other?”

42. “Can I text you?”

43. “Should I be worried?”

44. “Stop right there.”

45. “You’ve listened to it six times in a row.”

46. “Take a chance.”

47. “Disney or die!”

48. “Maybe you should move your hand.” 

49. “I only speak in iconic vine quotes.” 

50. “Forever and ever.”

51. “Your color is beautiful.”

52. “Your aura is irresistible.”

53. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

54. “You did that? While five months pregnant?”

55. “You’re only allowed to use the ‘F’ word three times a day.”

56. “We’re closer than we used to be.”

57. “I missed this.” 

58. “We have the house all to ourselves… I’ll get the board games!”

59. “I’m broke, but…”

60. “You’re so beautiful in the sun.”

Puns, lost in translation

Sometimes the true treasure of intergalactic relations are the puns you make along the way…

Let me start this story by saying that British English is a strange language. We have double meanings, homophones, homonyms and an almost unpalatable sarcastic use of the tongue.

Meet Gina. She’s a kitchen assistant in this story. She might make chef one day, if she cared enough.
Meet Hulu, He’s from a small planet near the Eagle nebula. He’s also a kitchen assistant, learning English as he goes.

Gina likes to dance, a LOT. More than is safe for most people. She’ll dance wherever and whenever she can, no matter what she’s doing! This isn’t to say she’s good at it, just enthusiastic. Hulu does not dance, he doesn’t really understand it, but wants to learn why so many humans do. Gina seems to be a prime candidate for explaining this (often terrifying behaviour).

One day, whilst preparing beetroot soup, she breaks into dance again, knives dancing across the board with her, scooping more veg into the pot. So Hulu asks:
“What drives you to dance all the time?”
Gina replies, “Why, it’s the beat man, you’ve got to feel the beat!”
“I don’t understand, you feel something when you dance…”
“Of course we do, you’ve got to feel it all the way and let the dance out!” With that last line, Gina picks up more vegetables, and boogies over to the stove. Hulu accepts that this is something he will never understand.

Next shift, Hulu is paired with head chef Boyle. This time, salad’s on the menu. The next question is where things go south…
“Hey Hulu, get the beets from the pantry”.
“Beets? I don’t know that word”.
“Beets, short for Beetroot, red root vegetable, top shelf”.

Now Hulu understands, to dance you need to feel the Beet! Gina dances her best when she’s cooking, that must be it! Armed with this new-found knowledge, Hulu goes out to the nightclub, well prepared with a bag of Beets. When the DJ says to drop the beet, he drops it! When his friends say they’re not feeling the beat at this club, he gives them a beet to help. They’re laughing, he’s having fun, surely he’s got it right!

Thanks to a poor grasp of English, and a kitchen misunderstanding, Hulu has created the greatest pun to ever hit that town, and he’ll never know it…

[TRANS] NONNO MAGAZINE

1. ways that you spend your days off

JIMIN: hobbies that I do are billiards, bowling and playing computer games all together at a house with friends. when we play, it’s different who wins, but it’s certain that I do the worst no matter what

SUGA: when it’s vacation time, I try to do things that people say are ordinary (to do). It’s important to me to go to a cafe alone or meet up with friends or just a casual every day routine. because it’s a vacation, I think it’s important to spend it relaxing, rather than planning to do something special

V: I listen to several types of music, regardless of genre… classic, jazz, opera, R&B, hip hop, EDM. right now my favourite is especially Hisaishi Joe’s ‘Summer’. dadadadan~(starts to sing) I want to listen to piano performance live one day

JIN: because Jungkook said that he’s going to learn the drums in his free time on the world tour, I started to play guitar too. but since he can’t carry the drum set around with him on tour, in the end it was just me who kept practicing from bringing the guitar (laughs) I play our songs like spring day and butterfly. one day I want to show it on stage

JHOPE: recently, my hobby is collecting figurines. nowadays, things that i’ve been collecting is called “deck of skate boards”. since there are a lot of colourful designs, it’s nice just looking that them. sadly there’s no way to ride them outside

RM: the thing that I’m consumes with right now is learning Japanese. I’m watching the drama “late night restaurants” as it’s easy to understand the dialogue. getting in touch with nature is one thing that is a way of changing the mood. I go for  a walk in a park that’s close by or if i have time I go far until I reach the sea.

JK: recently, I enjoy playing FPS games. I spend about 3~4 hours every day playing so time flies in that moment (laughs) and I always listen to music. I listen to exciting music like future bass but more than that I like melodies that make my mind become calm and the and the quietness of the quite sad atmosphere.

2. favourite fashion and things in fashion you always uphold

JIMIN: once I find a fashion that I think is good, I’ll buy clothes similar to that for several months. right now I like simple fashion, such as shirts with slacks and white shirts and denim (jeans?). since I haven’t decided what fashion to do this summer…. I think I should shop and and think carefully because once I start to buy things, I tend to buy a lot of it (laughs)

SUGA: rather than having a lot of different types of clothing, I rather have an attachment to things I like and use them for a long time. I think that after debut, I’ve worn thousands of clothing that are expensive that are my preference. since I want to be a person hat looks special even just wearing ordinary things, I choose to wear simple clothes. other than that, because I don’t like to show my skin, I wear long sleeves in the summer too

V: the item I wear most often is shirts. I have several shirts that go from simple to unusual print designs. I like the Boston bag too that I bought from New York in spring. I will use it carefully!

JIN: I like neat and simple fashion. when I go to places where a lot of people see me, I try to wear as many things that I received as gifts as possible. because I think if i were them, i’d feel really happy to see precious person wearing something that I gave to them

JHOPE: I try to do styles that express me well, that are not too easy going, and not too loud either. I plan to deliver a fashion that looks cool this summer. but I haven’t been shopping since I purchased a street brand fur jacket last winter…

RM: I pick clothes that are a good style whilst having a comfortable feeling. I didn’t have confidence in my style since I didnt dress well skinny but after debuting everyone told me that my legs are pretty and long, so I challenged it. the person out of the members that dresses well, if it’s not me (laughs), is JHOPE. he’s good at matching items.

JK: I like big shapes (silhouette) like parkas, and I like the colour black. I wear similar clothes in the summer too. the genre is different but I think that RM and JHOPE dress cool

3. favourite scents?

JIMIN: the scent of flowers and meat is cooking. because I like the smell of nature more, I don’t really wear perfumes well. I currently use the scent of a diffuser that’s refreshing. but J-HOPE who is my roommate, prefers scents like this more than me

SUGA: I like perfumes that have a sweet smell but I don’t use just one kind of perfume since I only wear it occasionally, depending on the mood of that day. I like to drink coffee, when I smell the scent of it my mind becomes relaxed. coffee is like a substitute for water to me.

V: in many cases I select a refreshing scent or a scent that I relax to. I use several types to match the mood or fashion

JIN: I use sweet perfumes that linger softly. if I were to give an example, the soft feeling is like the texture of candy floss. but the smell isn’t candy floss itself (laughs)

JHOPE: since i’m very sensitive to smells, it’s only natural that I spray perfume. before I got to bed, I use a diffuser all the time that’s in our room with the sweet smell of body lotion. from our vacation in hawaii in april, i bought kona coffee powder but i tried using it as quadrant substitute

RM: smell of natural fabric softener. and I spoke with jungkook, and the smell of Japan buildings (laughs) especially the airport. when we got here we all said together “we’ve arrived in Japan!”

JK: the smell of green or the wind when spring arrives. one day in spring, I listened to music and rode a bike down the river together with RM and V, so when the distinctive air of spring arrives I feel happy and excited because of that day

4. Japanese movies, dramas, manga etc that have stuck in your memory?

JIMIN: I have seen almost all well-known manga and anime. recently I bought the novel “between calmness and passion” at the bookstore. I look forward to reading it!

SUGA: The best manga throughout my life is slam dunk! I must’ve read it over a hundred times since I read my favourite ones repeatedly. when I was young, most of the things that I watched were Japanese anime

V: recently I’ve watched all of 'we married as a job’! I like the scene where the protagonist gives a hug to the other guy who she has a marriage contract with, on every Tuesday. I remember seeing the male actor in somewhere else, I was surprised to find out that he was Hoshino Gen, an artist that I listen to often on a average day. I love the song 'every day life’ the most. I’m also practicing the love dance from the ending of the drama

JIN: I like Japanese anime’s a lot so when I was a trainee I watched one piece or bleach every week. recently I’ve been obsessed with the manga about high school volleyball called haikyuu, so I read that often

JHOPE: I really like Otsaku Ai’s 'Sakuranbo’. I listen to YUI’s song often too.

RM: I listen yo AK-69 or KOHH, Sakamoto Ryuichi, Yuhki Kuramoto’s music. I like movies that are directed by Hirokazu Koreeda. I became captivated by his calm outlook on the world that he films. If his movies screen in korea, I will certainly go.

JK: I like Japanese anime’s, I’m currently watching the same one as Jin too, haikyuu. and it’s helping me learn Japanese too!

jpn - krn; @row_baba | krn - eng; @hobuing

Looks like lightning

A giant alien spaceship castle you would assume have more then enough bathrooms. However despite the size there were only four in the whole castle one in each wing. Apparently Altean’s didn’t need to go as often as humans did so they never bothered to fit every area with a bathroom.
Of course Allura had her own personal bathroom in her chambers and Corran used the one in the east side of the castle leaving the five Paladins to share the one closest to their collective rooms.
Shiro at first attempted to create a time chart so that everyone would have time to get ready in the morning and get in a shower before bed.
However he quickly learnt that asking a group of teenagers not to take hours in the bathroom was like expecting a pig to sprout wings and fight the Glara.
Keith spends the least time in the morning, only bothering to brush his teeth before going out to train, it’s the evenings that he takes his time, spending almost an hour in the shower letting the warm water work its magic on his sore aching muscles.
Hunk takes his time whenever he uses the bathroom. Often singing or having imaginary arguments with himself.
Pidge spends hours in there. Often taking their computer in with them and ends up losing themselves so completely in their work that they could leave for five minutes to use the toilet and not be seen until dinner.
However out of everyone Lance is by far the worst. He spends hours in there every morning and evening, he will often run out during training just to look in the mirror. Because of this more then a few times a fellow Paladin has been forced to run across the castle in search of another bathroom.
After yet another close call Pidge had enough.
“He’s just so vain!” They snapped walking into the common area where Keith was sat sharpening his knife.
“I know but there’s not much we can do about it” he shrugged not even bothering to look up as the green paladin flopped down on the couch next to him.
“We could complain to Allura or maybe Shiro?” They offered voice slightly muffled by having their face buried in the cushions.
“Wouldn’t work. They already know and the worst that would happen to him is get a lecture and maybe being out of cleaning duty, it wouldn’t change anything. As long as he’s got all his cleaning products he’s going to continue to hogging the bathroom.” Keith patted Pidge on the head when they let out a frustrated groan.
Suddenly they sat bolt upright making Keith pull his hand away in surprise.
“But what if he didn’t?”
“Didn’t what?” Keith questioned a little unnerved by the Cheshire Cat like grin that spread across the smaller Paladins face.
“What if Lance didn’t have his products? What if someone were to hide them to teach him not to just leave his stuff lying around in the bathroom like he owned the place?”
A similar grim spread across Keith’s face as he realised what exactly Pidge was suggesting.
“I think that just might teach him a lesson.”
———————————–
When Lance rolled out of bed that morning like every morning he walked down the hall to the bathroom so he could wash off his face mask and get ready for the day.
However when he had washed the white mask off and reached for his makeup bag only to find it missing he knew something was very wrong. He checked again in case he had put it somewhere else the night before but found nothing.
At this point he began to panic falling to his knees as he tore apart the bathroom desperately searching for his bag as his breaths came shorter and faster.
He had to find his bag.
He couldn’t let the others see him without his makeup.
———————————–
Unlike Pidge, Keith couldn’t wait to see Lance get his comeuppance, so when he heard Lance go to the bathroom that morning Keith had followed close behind listening just out side of the door waiting for the moment of realisation of the prank.
Keith had expected Lance to get angry or maybe even a few tears but nothing major.
What he didn’t expect was to hear the sounds of the bathroom being ripped apart and soft desperate sobbing.
Worried the red paladin opened the door “Lance are you-”
He cut off when he saw exactly why the makeup bag had meant so much to him.
Across the right side of his face there were long white scars trailing along his skin. There were five in total all connected at the side of his neck disappearing under his clothes. One stretched over the outside of his face curling round to just above his left eyebrow. Another curled under his right eye with one branching off to across his nose. The other two wrapped around each other by his chin and jaw line.
Seeing Keith Lance instantly threw his hands up covering his face. “Don’t look at me!” He screamed frantically.
His sleeves fell down showing his right arm also covered with the swirling pale scars shockingly different to his dark skin.
Keith stared at him in shock.
How long had Lance been hiding this from them? When had he been hurt? What could of done this kind damage?
“Oh god… Lance”
Lance shrunk away from Keith not stopping until he hit the cold tile wall.
He looked like a trapped animal countered by a predator.
“I’m so sorry” Keith mumbled sitting down next to him and pulling the blue paladin into a slightly awkward hug.
Lance stiffened for a moment before melting under his team mates touch.
He turned, burying his face into Keith’s chest and sobbed desperately.
Keith wasn’t sure what to do. All he knew was that he wanted to make Lance feel better. Slowly he began to run his free hand through the taller boys hair making quiet shushing noises.
Half an hour later Lance had calmed down and had stopped crying, however he still had his face hidden in Keith’s shirt.
“Thanks” Lance mumbled so quietly that Keith had to wonder if he had imagined it.
The guilt stopped him in the stomach. He didn’t deserve thanks. He deserved to get his ass kicked and then shot out into space for what he had done.
“You don’t need to thank me… it’s my fault”
Lance slowly looked up just enough so that his blue teary eyes were visible. “It’s not… its mine.”
Keith bit his lip, he wanted to argue but Lance almost never talked about himself, not really.
“How so?”
“I was twelve I think, back when me and my family still lived in Cuba…”
Keith could practically hear the homesickness dripping from those words. He wished he could relate but he never really had a home to miss in the first place.
“Mamma told me and my older brother not to go to the ocean that day. But Leo told me it would be fine. And it was for a little bit. We swam, played and surfed for a couple hours. Then it started to get dark and Leo said it was time to go home b-but I was having too much fun so I ignored him. I even ignored him when he tried to warn me…”
Lance was quiet for a few minutes trying to swallow the lump in his throat.
“See Mama had seen on the news that there were lots of Jellyfish in the water that day… she tried to keep us safe without scaring us.
But we wanted to play and well I didn’t notice the Jellyfish until one stung me on the ankle…”
Keith found himself leaning closer silently urging Lance to continue.
“I fell off my board right into a whole bunch of them. I don’t remember much. Just blinding pain then next thing I know I’m waking up in hospital a week later.”
Keith gasped cringing at how Lance flinched at the noise.
“C-can I see?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t expect his request to be answered so it was surprising when Lance took of his shirt to show the mess of thin white scars that stretched across his torso.
Kieth couldn’t help but run his finger over the one across Lance’s chest.
“Beautiful”
“What was that?” Lance asked causing Keith to blush bright red “I erm I only meant that they look cool! Like lightning!” He sputtered.
Lance chuckled bitterly “yeah I used to think so too. In Cuba at least the kids in school saw it as a badge of honour. But after my Dad died and we had to move to America to live with my Grandparents well… kids can be cruel. They can be cruel about makeup too but I find it’s easier to play the vain pretty boy then have to deal with teasing or worse pity.”
Keith gulped. He was honoured that Lance shared something so personal with him but he knew he didn’t deserve it.
“Look Lance this really is my fault me and Pidge stole your stuff to try and get back at you for always hogging the bathroom.”
Keith expected yelling, maybe more crying. What he didn’t expect was for Lance to just shrug one shoulder “yeah I figured from how guilty you looked.”
“Your not mad?”
Lance laughed, for real this time. “No I’m not mad. Your the first person to call my scars beautiful… it kinda meant a lot.”
Lance looked away blushing almost as much as Keith was.
He realises his hand was still resting on Lance’s bare chest and pulled it away only for it to be grabbed by Lance.
“Glad I was awake for this bonding moment”
Keith smiled looking down at their hands for a moment.
“Yeah me too.”

anonymous asked:

please consider: Steve the really uptight, clean-cut perfectionist wedding planner & bucky, his grungy tattoo artist bf that scares Steve's clients when he brings Steve coffee during appointments.

Um. Totes magotes.

  • Steve has a very minimalist, modern office – everything is white and chrome, and there are beautifully-arranged vases of lilies all over the place. When Bucky rolls in with mud-crusted ten year-old Docs and a grungy indie band t-shirt so worn you can practically see his nipple piercings through it, he sticks out.
  • Whenever Steve gets the call that Bucky’s around, Steve drops everything and prances over to him like an over-excited retriever. Clients think it’s endearing to see their wedding planner so in love up until they get a good look at Bucky. Then they’re just confused.
  • Steve has convinced more than one couple to get wedding tattoos at Bucky’s shop. Bucky grouses like it’s a problem, but he secretly loves doing it, and has been caught doodling ideas for he and Steve in the margins of his notebooks.
  • Nobody knows it, but Steve has a full back tattoo, done by Bucky. He had been terrified of needles, but had been so taken with Bucky when they first met that he just dove in, just for an excuse to keep coming back to the shop. When Steve admitted that to Bucky a few months after they started dating, Bucky nearly smacked him. “You spent $3000 just to hang out with me? I would’ve been happy with a cup of coffee.”
  • (Steve thinks it was totally worth it.)
  • Steve is organized to a fault, but he has no brain for numbers. At the end of each month, Bucky pulls his hair back, puts on his glasses, and spends the afternoon crunching numbers at Steve’s office. It’s everyone’s favorite day, because Steve will just sort of sit at his desk and stare dreamily over at Bucky. Bucky will shoot him a glare every so often and tell him to knock it off, but everyone knows he loves it.
  • Sometimes Bucky tags along to weddings when Steve needs an extra helping hand. At some point they’ll end up slow dancing together in a corner, and more than one wedding photographer has caught pics of them whispering sweet things into each other’s ear and put them as examples of their best work on their website.
  • Bucky wants a big wedding. Huge. Monumental.
  • Steve wants to elope. He’ll bring Sam, Bucky will bring Becca, and with the money they’ll save they’ll fuck off to Napa Valley or Paris or the Grand Canyon for a month.
  • They promise each other that they won’t ask the other to get married until they figure out some kind of compromise.
  • That is until Steve finds Bucky’s secret wedding Pinterest board one night while surfing the net and sighs. He goes out and buys rings the next day, and tells him they’ll do a beautiful destination wedding, wherever he wants, however big he wants, because he’s a sap and he just wants to marry this guy already, even if he’s an overly romantic sap who isn’t completely disillusioned with wedding parties.
  • But Steve does his damnedest to make sure that their wedding is the most beautiful wedding he’s ever seen. For Bucky’s sake. 
Sneak Pt. 1 [M]

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Graphic smut, this is pure filth, i am not sorry, ceo!namjoon

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: this shoot had me feeling all sorts of ways. don’t tempt me into making this a series because i very well could lol oops rip me. Also, this is unedited. I will be coming back to it to make edits once I finally sleep

Originally posted by jackjacky5

Part 1 Part 2

You stood behind the podium and stared out into the boardroom. The group of unamused business men clad in suits that costs 6 months of your rent stared back at you. The youthful face of the CEO stood out amongst the wrinkled frowns of everyone else in the room. You tried not to stare, or at least not let him notice you were staring. You had been working for this corporation for 3 months but you still hadn’t gotten used to the idea that Namjoon was your boss. Granted, there weren’t many CEO’s in their 20’s anyway.

But he was handsome. His dirty blonde hair always sat messily upon his head. Thick black framed glasses sat perfectly on his face while two dimples frame the sides of his perfect lips. Not that you had notice his perfect lips to begin with. Namjoon was your boss, a mantra that you had to remind yourself on a daily basis because if it weren’t for that then you would certainly be wanting to get him in the supply closet. But Namjoon was your boss.

Taking a deep breath, you started your presentation. It seemed like all the knowledge your fancy degree had given you went out the window as soon as you started to speak. You weren’t even sure if it was english, but before you knew it you had reached the last slide. Silence filled the room as the men in suits took in the last of your words. “Any questions?” you asked.

There was no response. Just pairs of empty eyes staring back at you. The overwhelming feeling of failure creeped into your bones as you stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to do. Finally, the grumpiest of all the men raised an eyebrow and started to speak, “How is this relevant to our company? The ideas you are proposing are very provocative, but we don’t run the business this way. It seems a little out of reach, don’t you think?”

Keep reading

Looks like lightning

A giant alien spaceship castle you would assume have more then enough bathrooms. However despite the size there were only four in the whole castle one in each wing. Apparently Altean’s didn’t need to go as often as humans did so they never bothered to fit every area with a bathroom.
Of course Allura had her own personal bathroom in her chambers and Corran used the one in the east side of the castle leaving the five Paladins to share the one closest to their collective rooms.
Shiro at first attempted to create a time chart so that everyone would have time to get ready in the morning and get in a shower before bed.
However he quickly learnt that asking a group of teenagers not to take hours in the bathroom was like expecting a pig to sprout wings and fight the Glara.
Keith spends the least time in the morning, only bothering to brush his teeth before going out to train, it’s the evenings that he takes his time, spending almost an hour in the shower letting the warm water work its magic on his sore aching muscles.
Hunk takes his time whenever he uses the bathroom. Often singing or having imaginary arguments with himself.
Pidge spends hours in there. Often taking their computer in with them and ends up losing themselves so completely in their work that they could leave for five minutes to use the toilet and not be seen until dinner.
However out of everyone Lance is by far the worst. He spends hours in there every morning and evening, he will often run out during training just to look in the mirror. Because of this more then a few times a fellow Paladin has been forced to run across the castle in search of another bathroom.
After yet another close call Pidge had enough.
“He’s just so vain!” They snapped walking into the common area where Keith was sat sharpening his knife. 
“I know but there’s not much we can do about it” he shrugged not even bothering to look up as the green paladin flopped down on the couch next to him.
“We could complain to Allura or maybe Shiro?” They offered voice slightly muffled by having their face buried in the cushions.
“Wouldn’t work. They already know and the worst that would happen to him is get a lecture and maybe being out of cleaning duty, it wouldn’t change anything. As long as he’s got all his cleaning products he’s going to continue to hogging the bathroom.” Keith patted Pidge on the head when they let out a frustrated groan.
Suddenly they sat bolt upright making Keith pull his hand away in surprise. 
“But what if he didn’t?”
“Didn’t what?” Keith questioned a little unnerved by the Cheshire Cat like grin that spread across the smaller Paladins face.
“What if Lance didn’t have his products? What if someone were to hide them to teach him not to just leave his stuff lying around in the bathroom like he owned the place?”
A similar grim spread across Keith’s face as he realised what exactly Pidge was suggesting.
“I think that just might teach him a lesson.”
———————————–
When Lance rolled out of bed that morning like every morning he walked down the hall to the bathroom so he could wash off his face mask and get ready for the day. 
However when he had washed the white mask off and reached for his makeup bag only to find it missing he knew something was very wrong. He checked again in case he had put it somewhere else the night before but found nothing.
At this point he began to panic falling to his knees as he tore apart the bathroom desperately searching for his bag as his breaths came shorter and faster.
He had to find his bag.
He couldn’t let the others see him without his makeup.
———————————–
Unlike Pidge, Keith couldn’t wait to see Lance get his comeuppance, so when he heard Lance go to the bathroom that morning Keith had followed close behind listening just out side of the door waiting for the moment of realisation of the prank.
Keith had expected Lance to get angry or maybe even a few tears but nothing major.
What he didn’t expect was to hear the sounds of the bathroom being ripped apart and soft desperate sobbing.
Worried the red paladin opened the door “Lance are you-” 
He cut off when he saw exactly why the makeup bag had meant so much to him.
Across the right side of his face there were long white scars trailing along his skin. There were five in total all connected at the side of his neck disappearing under his clothes. One stretched over the outside of his face curling round to just above his left eyebrow. Another curled under his right eye with one branching off to across his nose. The other two wrapped around each other by his chin and jaw line.
Seeing Keith Lance instantly threw his hands up covering his face. “Don’t look at me!” He screamed frantically.
His sleeves fell down showing his right arm also covered with the swirling pale scars shockingly different to his dark skin.
Keith stared at him in shock. 
How long had Lance been hiding this from them? When had he been hurt? What could of done this kind damage?
“Oh god… Lance”
Lance shrunk away from Keith not stopping until he hit the cold tile wall.
He looked like a trapped animal countered by a predator.
“I’m so sorry” Keith mumbled sitting down next to him and pulling the blue paladin into a slightly awkward hug.
Lance stiffened for a moment before melting under his team mates touch.
He turned, burying his face into Keith’s chest and sobbed desperately.
Keith wasn’t sure what to do. All he knew was that he wanted to make Lance feel better. Slowly he began to run his free hand through the taller boys hair making quiet shushing noises.
Half an hour later Lance had calmed down and had stopped crying, however he still had his face hidden in Keith’s shirt.
“Thanks” Lance mumbled so quietly that Keith had to wonder if he had imagined it. 
The guilt stopped him in the stomach. He didn’t deserve thanks. He deserved to get his ass kicked and then shot out into space for what he had done.
“You don’t need to thank me… it’s my fault” 
Lance slowly looked up just enough so that his blue teary eyes were visible. “It’s not… its mine.”
Keith bit his lip, he wanted to argue but Lance almost never talked about himself, not really.
“How so?”
“I was twelve I think, back when me and my family still lived in Cuba…”
Keith could practically hear the homesickness dripping from those words. He wished he could relate but he never really had a home to miss in the first place.
“Mamma told me and my older brother not to go to the ocean that day. But Leo told me it would be fine. And it was for a little bit. We swam, played and surfed for a couple hours. Then it started to get dark and Leo said it was time to go home b-but I was having too much fun so I ignored him. I even ignored him when he tried to warn me…” 
Lance was quiet for a few minutes trying to swallow the lump in his throat. 
“See Mama had seen on the news that there were lots of Jellyfish in the water that day… she tried to keep us safe without scaring us. 
But we wanted to play and well I didn’t notice the Jellyfish until one stung me on the ankle…”
Keith found himself leaning closer silently urging Lance to continue.
“I fell off my board right into a whole bunch of them. I don’t remember much. Just blinding pain then next thing I know I’m waking up in hospital a week later.”
Keith gasped cringing at how Lance flinched at the noise.
“C-can I see?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t expect his request to be answered so it was surprising when Lance took of his shirt to show the mess of thin white scars that stretched across his torso.
Kieth couldn’t help but run his finger over the one across Lance’s chest. 
“Beautiful” 
“What was that?” Lance asked causing Keith to blush bright red “I erm I only meant that they look cool! Like lightning!” He sputtered.
Lance chuckled bitterly “yeah I used to think so too. In Cuba at least the kids in school saw it as a badge of honour. But after my Dad died and we had to move to America to live with my Grandparents well… kids can be cruel. They can be cruel about makeup too but I find it’s easier to play the vain pretty boy then have to deal with teasing or worse pity.”
Keith gulped. He was honoured that Lance shared something so personal with him but he knew he didn’t deserve it. 
“Look Lance this really is my fault me and Pidge stole your stuff to try and get back at you for always hogging the bathroom.” 
Keith expected yelling, maybe more crying. What he didn’t expect was for Lance to just shrug one shoulder “yeah I figured from how guilty you looked.”
“Your not mad?”
Lance laughed, for real this time. “No I’m not mad. Your the first person to call my scars beautiful… it kinda meant a lot.”
Lance looked away blushing almost as much as Keith was.
He realises his hand was still resting on Lance’s bare chest and pulled it away only for it to be grabbed by Lance.
“Glad I was awake for this bonding moment”
Keith smiled looking down at their hands for a moment.
“Yeah me too.”

Title: in the light of day
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: Dan tells his mother about Phil. (a 2009 fic)

[read on AO3]


“The boy again?” Dan’s mum asks.

His stomach drops. His posture is suddenly straight as a pin. His shoulders are tense. His jaw clenches. He’s a cornered animal ready for a fight.

She glances at him and in a moment she reads that, then just rolls her eyes. “Oh, fine. Keep your secrets.”

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Daily Reminder that Joseph Christiansen
  • Wanted to be a ship captain when he was just a baby
  • He likes beating his kids at Candy Land (ajdsjkshd he legit takes time out of his day to sit down with his kids and play board games together)
  • He carries around a bible (prob those like small ones)
  • He spends a lot of time wanting to be a better man (husband/father)
*NEW* Pretty Little Liars Endgame (Alternative)

Whilst I still stand by my first endgame theory, today I want to explore an alternative way the endgame could potentially unfold. 


One day at Radley, Charlotte accidentally pushed Marion Cavanaugh off the roof. Jessica, who was on the board at Radley, agrees to help her niece Charlotte by ruling Marion’s death a suicide, but internally within Radley, Charlotte blamed Bethany for it. Charlotte reversed the roles when telling her story to the liars in 610 so that they would feel sorry for her. 


Jessica feels bad that an innocent patient, Bethany, was blamed for something her niece did so she signs Bethany out of Radley to adopt and ride a horse. Considering she helped Charlotte get away with it, it is the absolute least Jessica can do. But Bethany isn’t appreciative of these sympathetic gifts because she knows that Jessica is having an affair with her father. Jessica asks Bethany to call her “aunt Jessie” as a way of saying “I’m not having an affair with your father, I’m just a long lost aunt hence I’ve been around your father lately!” Bethany throws a tantrum and buckets after Jessica’s lies. “Is it like mother like daughter?” and “can I trust anyone in that family?” says Bethany in her recordings. Bethany’s hatred is building towards two dead characters, ‘mother and daughter’ Charlotte and Jessica. (Even young Charles thought they were a part of the DiLaurentis family for quite some time.)


After Charles’ funeral, Charlotte’s doctors let her go, out of belief that trapping a transgender patient in a mental asylum isn’t doing any good. And, she’s apparently been making progress… again, Bethany was blamed for Charlotte’s fatal mistake. She never returned to Radley as Charlotte: she was free to walk the streets of Rosewood. She created the new alias CeCe Drake, after having found out about her birth mother Mary Drake (although having still never met her). CeCe attended college and shared a roommate, explaining how she knew everyone at Eric Kahn’s party and perhaps how she slipped into the Rosewood High yearbook. This also explains why Charlotte needed a visitors pass to see Mona in Radley, as she was no longer a patient that can sneak down the hall. 


During college, CeCe and Noel happened to be at the same frat party. Noel accidentally pushed a girl down the stairs, but of course the bystander ex-Radley patient gets the blame for it. As a result, Charlotte is kicked out of college for something Noel did. Hence Noel helped Charlotte in the dollhouse; he felt he owed something to Charlotte. He took something from her that she worked extra hard for. 


While CeCe was off beginning her new life in Rosewood (still before ‘that night’), Bethany was still in Radley, taking medication that should have Charlotte’s name on it, drowning in her own drool. That’s sure to drive her crazy. 


“That night”, Bethany escaped with the intent of killing Charlotte as revenge for ruining her life. Jessica, who was Bethany’s caretaker at Radley, got a call that night from Radley workers informing her that Bethany has escaped. “I’m very worried, please send someone”, said Jessica, knowing how much Bethany hates her and her niece. A war was brewing. Charlotte wanted to hurt Bethany before Bethany harms anyone. Charlotte accidentally hit Ali instead of Bethany, but thankfully Mrs. Grunwald came to Ali’s rescue. “I swear I thought it was Bethany, mum” cried Charlotte.


Mona hit Bethany with a shovel thinking she was hitting Ali; she hated Ali that much. The purpose of a psychic saving Ali was because only a psychic could know to come back to Rosewood and save another person: Bethany Young. Mrs Grunwald sensed more danger and went and saved Bethany. I don’t like supernatural elements as much as the next person, but it exists, and we have to acknowledge it and use it.

Notice how the person saving Ali/Bethany is different in the two instances. TWO people were pulled out of the dirt. (Red sleeve vs no sleeve.)

Bethany Young is alive. Bethany Young is Uber A and AD, which stands for After Death. Whilst there have been many deaths over the seasons, Bethany’s “death” was THE death that started it all and so it’s very iconic for her to go by AD. We know AD has to be someone who has access to medical records, as they leaked Yvonne’s abortion and Veronica’s sickness. Who better than someone who successfully faked her death? 

Bethany couldn’t stand the idea of that bitch Charlotte getting 5 years treatment and then getting to go home with her family, happily ever after. As revenge, Bethany killed Charlotte the exact same way that Charlotte killed Marion and blamed her for it: Charlotte was pushed off a building (bell-tower). 


Here is our clue from the writers that we should be looking at Bethany. In the (FAKE) flashback we saw of Bethany, she was wearing this red sweater.

Yet we saw someone in an awfully similar red sweater walk into the bell-tower the very night Charlotte was killed: Bethany? Again, even though it was a fake flashback and that red sweater doesn’t technically exist, it is the writers foreshadowing. 

And if it wasn’t already clear, Bethany killed Jessica, too… the affair that could’ve teared apart her family forever (Bethany might have become related to Charlotte, that thought scared Bethany!) and Jessica also helped Charlotte get away with pushing Marion. Jessica had to go. Season 5A made it extremely easy to guess that Melissa and/or Peter killed Jessica with Peter’s drugs, and hence they lied about where they were the night she was killed. Yet, here we are in 7A, and the writers still haven’t confirmed Melissa and Peter’s involvement. For that reason, I believe the answer is elsewhere. If it really was Melissa and Peter, that could’ve been confirmed years ago. If it really was Melissa and/or Peter, why is it being extended into season 7B? Because there’s more to the story. It was Bethany.


Bethany/AD chooses to frame Melissa for Charlotte’s murder. Out of all people in Rosewood, why did the killer chose Melissa? Because Melissa has a motive that would make sense in front of a jury: Charlotte sent Wren the video of Melissa confessing to burying Bethany the actual person in the grave, which lead to Wren breaking up with her. Melissa’s relationship crumbled, combined with the simple fact that Charlotte is in possession of a video that could destroy Melissa’s reputation forever, is why Bethany decided Melissa is the perfect candidate to frame: she would have a motive to want Charlotte dead. 


Bethany stole Melissa’s suitcase, broke the handle and bashed Charlotte’s head with it. She then put the suitcase back before Melissa notices it’s missing… or did she? Whilst unpacking her clothes, Melissa says in 613 “I know I had more clothes in here”. Evidently Melissa’s suitcase was tampered with. 

Melissa was the person sending unsigned, emoji texts throughout 6B. She was being harassed by Bethany, that if she doesn’t admit to killing Charlotte or find another killer before the end of the election night, her confession video will be shared with everyone. 

How did Bethany even get her hands on this video? From Wren. As we know, Charlotte sent the video to Wren so clearly Wren is in possession of this video. The reason he instantly ended his relationship with Melissa is because Bethany is his sister and he was mad that Melissa potentially killed his sister and didn’t say anything. Of course, she’s alive now, but what a big secret that is to keep.

As Emily stated in 617 after being attacked, “there’s definitely 2 people after us”. Bethany wanted Emily to touch the suitcase handle (why not have a second person to frame?) whilst Melissa was the one trying to get it back to save herself.


Marlene has said there is one question she can’t wait to answer, but she can’t tell us what this question is because the question itself is a spoiler. That question is precisely “who is actually in the grave?“ The answer is one that makes total sense: Alison’s twin. This also explains how the Jane Doe was identified as Alison in the first place: similar DNA.

They foreshadowed this in 513 by showing a dead Alison in a grave. This was the writers telling us that YES, despite all complications, there really is an Alison in the grave. We already have twins; Mary and Jessica. However, scientifically, twins CAN give birth to twins. So, it is possible to have another set of twins involved in the endgame. Also, Marlene has explicitly said that “we won’t see Courtney”. We may never actually find out the name of Ali’s twin. It doesn’t matter. They aren’t alive, they aren’t A like in the books. We will never see them. They are DEAD. 

It’s also possible that the person in the grave is a random girl we’ve never met before - probably one of the many new cast members joining the finale.


This is tricky to answer for 2 reasons:

- At the time of this Tweet, Marlene knew there will be a FAKE flashback involving Bethany in 610. Ignore that flashback COMPLETELY. It never happened. That was Charlotte retelling a story of lies.

- There is before the incident regarding her face,

- There is after the incident regarding her face.

What incident?

One day whilst on temporary release, Bethany was with Jenna in Jenna’s garage. Alison and her friends threw fireworks inside and as a result, Jenna was blinded and Bethany was burnt. This is how the show is coming full circle as we are circling right back to the stories of season 1. Bethany hates Ali and the girls for the permanent damage she has suffered. 

Alison blamed Toby for ‘The Jenna/Bethany Thing’ which Bethany assumes means that Toby was involved, too. Hence, in a true moment of anger right after her name was announced to the public on television, Bethany blew up Toby’s house. 

Note that Bethany never shows her face in her pictures. This is not laziness by any means, she is actually a brilliant artist.

So whilst Bethany is framing Melissa for Charlotte’s murder, she is harassing the Liars over it too because they ruined her life.

Bethany/AD is walking around Rosewood in masks. Her face is deformed, on top of the fact that she’s supposed to be dead. She cannot show her face. Further, 6A revealed that Bethany Young shared a room in Radley with Leslie Stone. That same season we saw Leslie with boxes of glasses identical to those that AD has been wearing. Leslie knows Bethany is alive and she was trying to locate her long lost friend - she found her!

Bethany shot Spencer as not only revenge for burning her (The Jenna/Bethany Thing), but for being the one to bash her over the head that night. Of course, Spencer didn’t actually do it (Mona did) but since everyone in Rosewood thought it was Spencer, Bethany later latched on to this popular belief. (Note: if Alison survived a rock to the head, Bethany survived a bashing to the head, too. Heightened reality, unfortunately.) 

This message was from Bethany: 

Again, note the blacked face.

This Black Veil person from 401 was Bethany. CeCe’s story of who this person was, revolved around Sara Harvey pulling off a veil to reveal her face, but in reality, there is a (BURNT) Alison mask underneath that veil. CeCe’s version couldn’t be true as Sara never had a mask when she entered the limo. Sara never saw the girls as dolls - Sara was just Charlotte’s decoy, so it makes no sense for Sara to have been playing dolly earlier… This is Uber A.

Why would Sara Harvey care about Bethany Young? She doesn’t. Below is Bethany sending flowers to her family who she misses. She wants to tell them she’s alive and well! But first she wants to finish off this game and punish the people who hurt her.

Despite the above Tweet being from 2013, she is going to follow through with that in these final episodes because:

I know what you’re probably thinking… Bethany being Uber A is not satisfying. To me, it is! It goes right back to season 1 as it revolves around ‘that night’. The person that suffered that night in the pilot, is back for revenge! 

I could do a part 2 for this theory to explain who is Bethany. Who are her parents? Is she a DiLaurentis? Is the “aunt Jessie” thing supposed to be taken literally - is she a Drake? Is she someone’s twin? Is Melissa Bethany? Is Sara Harvey Bethany (I hope not, but very possible)? Is Bethany Charlotte’s twin who also transitioned, hence Jason thought he saw CeCe that night (but really it was Bethany, like Charlotte says)? I believe we are dealing with Bethany - but who is Bethany, is for another day. I do NOT believe for a split second they will make Uber A be a person we’ve never met before. That’s pathetic.

When the Bethany-ideas came flooding to me, I googled ‘Bethany is Uber A’ to see the fan consensus on this topic and the first result was an amazing post by @the-outlast. Whilst we have some largely contrasting opinions on some aspects, shoutout to this person for a couple pieces of evidence I used to explain our belief that Bethany is alive :)

Samwell 99

A Holsom Brooklyn 99 AU

  • Ok it should be abundantly apparent that Holsom means our favorite lovable puppy-dog eye Jewish boy Adam Birkholtz is Jake Peralta. He’s brash, he’s messy, but he’s a damn fine detective and he knows it/makes sure no one forgets it.
  • Cue his equally brilliant rival/colleague Justin Oluransi who’s by the book, anxiety ridden, has so many spreadsheets and folders for everything under the sun yet he retains an insane amount of knowledge.  
  • We’ll get back to their totally amazing chemistry in a moment  

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anonymous asked:

Could you tell us about Hamilton's relationship with his children? I know he closed himself even more after Philip's death, but what about the other 7? Was he close to them?

All sources from Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow.

Of Alexander and Eliza’s eight children–Philip Hamilton, Angelica Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton Jr., James Alexander Hamilton, John Church Hamilton, William S. Hamilton, Eliza Hamilton and “Little Phil” Hamilton–not one appeared to utter a single unkind word about their father.

On January 22, 1782, Eliza gave birth to a son, named Philip Hamilton. On his birth, Alexander Hamilton wrote, “whose birth, as you may imagine, was attended with all the omens of future greatness.” He used to rock Philip’s cradle and played with the infant. At seven months, “it is agreed on all hands that he is handsome, his features are good, his eye is not only sprightly and expressive, but it is full of benignity. His attitude in sitting is by connoisseurs esteemed graceful and he had a method of waving his hand that announces the future orator. He stands however rather awkwardly and his legs have not at all the delicate slimness of his father’s… If he had any fault in manners, he laughs too much.”

On September 25th, 1784, the Hamiltons had their first daughter named Angelica. Their third child, Alexander was born on May 16th, 1786. Due to Hamilton’s busyness, Eliza ran the household and supervised the education of their children when they were small.

According to Ron Chernow, fourth born James Alexander Hamilton was their “favorite child”. Eliza gave birth to James Alexander on April 14th. While at Columbia, James frequently sought his fathers advice, urging him to review speeches had had written and etc. 

On October 12, 1788, the Hamiltons went down to the end of Wall Street and had Philip, Angelica and Alexander all baptized at the same time at Trinity Church. 

James Hamilton said,

“His [Alexander Hamilton sr.] gentle nature rendered his house a most joyous one to his children and friends. He accompanied his daughter Angelica when she played and sang at the piano. His intercourse with his children was always affectionate and confiding, which excited in them a corresponding confidence and devotion.”

Angelica Hamilton was very musical inclined and her father had Angelica Church find the best piano that she could find his daughter. When they were in separate cities, Hamilton usually kept one of the younger boys with him. He worried much about his children and enjoyed tutoring them. He had high expectations and wanted them to exceed. 1791, age nine, Philip and Alexander Jr. were sent off to boarding school in Trenton. Hamilton wrote this to his Philip:

“Your teacher also informs me that you recited a lesson the first day you began, very much to his satisfaction. I expect every letter from him will give me a fresh proof of your progress, for I know you can do a great deal if you please. And I am sure you have too much spirit not to exert yourself that you may make us every day more and more proud of you.”

A letter to his daughter, Angelica:

“I was very glad to learn, my dear daughter, that you were going to begin the study of the French language. We hope you will in every respect behave in such a manner as will secure to you the goodwill and regard of all those with whom you are. If you happen to displease any of them, be always ready to make a frank apology. But the best way is to act with so much politeness, good manners and circumspection as never to have an occasion to make any apology. Your mother joins in best love to you. Adieu, my very dear daughter.”

On August 22nd, 1792 Eliza gave birth to their fifth child, John Church Hamilton. In 1784, John began several ill and Hamilton–who scarcely asked for a vacation–pleaded with Washington to allow him “permission to make an excursion into the country for a few days to try the effect of exercise and change of air upon the child.”

A couple months after publishing the Reynold’s pamphlet, Hamilton had a scare after Philip nearly died of severe fever of some sort of typhus. In tending to Philip, Hamilton was both nurse and physician, leaving the doctor amazed by both his medical knowledge and his closeness towards his children. When he learned his son was to be well, the doctor said there were tears in the father’s eyes.

On August 4th, 1797, Eliza gave birth to a healthy baby, William Stephen Hamilton. 

On multiple occasions, Hamilton would have his six year old son John Church write his letters for him, taking bizarre precaution to that his letters would not bear his handwriting during his plots in the Adams cabinet.  

Smart Philip Hamilton walked in the footsteps of his father. He graduated in 1800 with high honors, was a good speaker and studied to be a lawyer. Hamilton regarded Philip as the family’s “eldest and brightest hope”. Hamilton had a prepared daily schedule for Philip that included writing, reading, church and ruled his waking moments from dawn to dusk. Philip did have reliance and rebellious streak which his father tolerated, “I am anxious to here from Philip. Naughty young man.”  Before Philip’s duel with George Eacker,, he sought counsel from his father who told him that he should throw away his shot on the dueling ground. At the duel, Philip followed his father’s advise and did not raise his pistol at the command to fire. Eacker mirrored and they stood dumbly staring at one another. Finally, Eacker lifted his pistol and Philip did like wise. Eacker then shot Philip and he fell.

When Alexander Hamilton learned of what had occurred, he called for Dr. Hosack who later recalled that Hamilton was “so much overcome by his anxiety that he fainted and remained for some time in my family before he was sufficiently recovered to proceed.” The entire night, Alexander stayed with Philip at his bedside, and when he had to approach his son’s gravestone, his friends had to help him stand. Seventeen-year-old Angelica Hamilton who was extremely close with her brother suffered a mental breakdown and her father tried to restore her health. He got others to send her watermelons and birds (she liked birds), this didn’t work and she only grew worse.  

After Philip’s death he fell into the deepest depression he had ever felt. Usually in his grief, he was able to publish papers and worked endlessly. This time, Hamilton was unable to write any more and did not respond to any of his correspondence for four months. Even his physical appearance was altered, always appearing troubled, melancholy and the childish glean that flinted across his eyes, had parted.

When Eliza went off to care for his father (her mother had recently passed) and Hamilton took care of their children at home.

In Hamilton’s duel with Burr, he used to very same dueling pistols that Eacker and Philip had used–a pair of guns that had caused the death of his son. It is possible Hamilton wanted to use to pistols as a homage to his son.

On his death bed, Hamilton had not been able to see his children until it was time to bid farewell. “She held up their two-year-old boy, Philip, to his lips for a final kiss. Then Eliza lined up all seven children at the foot of the bed so that Hamilton could see them in one final tableau, a sight that rendered him speechless.” According to the doctor, “he opened his eyes, gave them one look, and closed them again till they were taken away.” At his funeral on July 14th, 1804, the procession was followed by two of Hamilton’s oldest sons, James Alexander and Alexander Jr. Angelica Hamilton, four-year-old Eliza Hamilton and Philip Hamilton stayed with their mother, whom was not at the funeral. Gouverneur Morris gave the eulogy and sitting beside him on the stage weeping was Alexander (eighteen), James (fourteen), John (eleven) and William (six). 

“The scene was impressive and what added unspeakably to its solemnity was the mournful ground of tender boys, the sons, the once hopes and joys of the deceased, who, with tears gushing from their eyes, sat upon the stage, at the feet of the orator, bewailing the loss of their parent! It was too much. The sternest powers, the bloodiest villain, could not resist the melting scene.”

Of their five sons post-duel they all gravitated towards law, government and military (the Hamiltonian way). 

Angelica Hamilton lived under a physicians care and died in 1857.

 Alexander Jr. Hamilton graduated from Columbia University weeks after his father’s duel. He became a lawyer, fought over seas in the duke of Wellington’s army, returned to America as an infantry captain during the War of 1812, and wound up as US district attorney in New York. He represented Eliza Jumel when she divorced Aaron Burr. 

James Alexander Hamilton graduated from Columbia, served as an officer in the War of 1812 and was an acting secretary of state under President Andrew Jackson (and surprising was against the second bank of the United States) and became attorney for the southern district of New York. He developed a close relationship with Martin Van Buren and was an early supporter of emancipation of slaves. As a tribute to his father, he created a home which he called “Nevis”.

John Church Hamilton was a lawyer who fought in the War of 1812, and devoted decades to writing a biography of his father and sorting throughout his papers. 

William Stephen Hamilton was “charming, handsome and eccentric”. He studied at West Point, fought at Black Hawk War, surveyed lands in Illinois and lived on the Western frontier. In 1849, he was drawn to California because of the gold rush, and opened a store to sell supplies. He died there of Cholera in 1850. 

Eliza Hamilton cared for her mother in her later years and scolded her brother John at getting the seven volume biography done quicker. 

“Little Phil” Hamilton was a “kindhearted, sensitive man”. He married the daughter of Louis McLane, daughter of a member of Andrew Jackson’s cabinet. He served as an assistant US attorney under his brother James but leaned on altruistic pursuits and was a reputation of “lawyer of the poor”.

anonymous asked:

I've published one book so far and have an agent I am v. happy with. I am by no means a big success, and who knows if my agent will be able to sell my new MS? For someone like me, are writers conferences a worthwhile investment of my time/money? I see some wonderful-sounding #kidlit conferences with amazing writers, agents, & editors, but I imagine we're talking $500 for registration/hotel/snacks (OBVIOUSLY). I'd love to be around those talented ppl, but will going help me sell my next book?

Listen (and this is for everyone, not just the OP!) … not all conferences or workshops are created equal – but the good ones are VERY good. And I love a good conference, I really do. Conferences can be great fun, they can be energizing (and exhausting-in-a-good way!) – they can give you insight about craft or the boost you need to persevere – they are certainly a fine place for outgoing people to connect with other likeminded souls in the business, which is nice, since so much of your job as an author is sitting by yourself at your desk! Conferences! Yay!

If you want to go, but you are confused about what you are looking for, I’d suggest first deciding if you want a “workshop” where you are intently working on craft in small groups (ie, Big Sur workshop, Highlights workshop, Kindling Words) – or a traditional conference, generally much larger, where there are speeches, breakout sessions, etc. (OP: Since you already have an agent you love and are on your way, you probably want more of a craft-based workshop rather than a 101-level conference.) Personally, I’d start looking locally before I spent the $$$ on the huge ones you have to travel to - because if doesn’t turn out to be your cup of tea, you don’t wanna be far from home and in debt when you find that out! ;-) 

Reality: Not everyone LIKES talking to strangers, even very nice ones. Not everyone LIKES to take seminars or workshops or listen to talks. Not everyone is “energized” by groups. Not everyone has the money, or the time, or the not-small amount of emotional and physical wherewithal it takes to spend an immersive weekend working far away from home. And you know what: That’s totally cool, too.

What conferences can be good for: Learning craft, connecting with other authors, feeling “a part of” the industry in some way, hearing more about what agents/editors want, having fun with other book-lovers, eating baked potatoes out of martini glasses, having one too many glasses of white wine and crying in front of a fave author, ETC.

What conferences are NOT good for: Getting an agent. Getting a book contract. If you go to a conference thinking that you will end the weekend with a book deal, you will be gravely disappointed.

I have never (NEVER) signed an author AT a conference. I have never (NEVER) seen a book sold to an editor at a conference. I’m sure it has happened… once or twice, ever. But it is not a regular thing. I have met people who I go on to rep some time later – but I would have probably gone on to rep them whether or not I’d met them at the conference. And they are far from the majority of my clients - even THAT is rare, indeed.

The idea that you somehow have to attend conferences to get an “in” in the business is just false, and it makes me really angry that this is the kind of shit people say to would-be writers. Usually in an effort to get them to spend money on false hope.

You don’t need to go to conferences. You don’t need to meet an agent in order for them to rep you. You don’t get bonus points for schmoozing.

If you want a class but you can’t afford it, or don’t want to attend a class in person – there are online classes. If you want to pal around with authors virtually, there are online message boards, and twitter. If you want in-person camaraderie but you can’t afford or don’t want to schlep across country, get a local crit group - and check out your local SCBWI  chapter - there are monthly local meetups that are free all over the place, and one-day conferences regionally that can be significantly less expensive than going to the big NYC/LA ones. If you don’t have such a thing where you live, and you really want it – START ONE!

OK I’ll shut up now. (I have a lot to say!!!!)