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AHHHHHHH OMFG YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I’m so happy and excited kfjhgsdlakgjsdlkgj :D <333
Alright so, it’s story time. Tonight at work I walked over to the girl I like to ask if she wanted one of the cupcakes I’d made (I’m a nerd who makes musical cupcakes, FYI). But before I could ask, I said “oh, you’re sitting alone” (I’d expected her to be with her squad) and she responded with “yep, it’s just me and my sexy fishnets”. Which led me to look at her fishnet tights that were indeed sexy. But anyways. Whenever I talk to her she mentions something she’s wearing that she likes and there’s always a “you look very cute” at the tip of my tongue but I’M SO AWKWARD so it never comes out. Likeeeeee ideally I want to compliment her but I’m afraid of sounding more “omfg I like your face and kind of want to kiss it sometimes” than “yeh lemme compliment you because you’re pretty and you deserve it”, do you feel me???
scenario with ryuji where s/o is reading a fanfic and ryuji gets jealous bc he wants attention so he proceeds try to distract s/o......but when nothing works, he was to resort to... drastic measures 👀 good luck with the new blog! just opened up my own yesterday lol
i love my ramen boyfriend so much omfg thank you for this
Thank you so much! Good luck with yours as well!
S/O was sitting in their room with Ryuji, having a good time with their boyfriend. Ryuji, like always, was laying on the floor reading manga. Usually S/O sits with him and lays all over him while he reads. However, S/O had discovered something they enjoyed reading as well: fanfiction. They recently found one that they were super into, nothing in particular (it’s most likely the Phoenix Ranger Feathermen R because superhero fics were a personal guilty pleasure of theirs). Ryuji looked up at them, were they ever gonna come cuddle him like always or were they just going to ignore him? Ryuji cleared his throat once. S/O didn’t even bother to look up, they just gave a simple “Is your throat dry? Drink some water..” before going back to completely silent. Ryuji frowned, What is up with them..? They had been glued to their phone all freaking day. He turned around to face them, he usually couldn’t move with them on him but, he missed the feel of their body too much. He placed a hand on their thigh and squeezed, grinning his big goofy grin at them, “Hey, why don’t we do something interesting today?” he asked, his voice overly flirtatious. For once this entire time they had been hanging out they looked up at him, “Give me a little bit..” they said, smiling at him “I’ll be done soon and then we can do whatever you want.” Ryuji blushed, but his resolve stood strong. He slowly snaked his way up their body, his hands around their waist. This time S/O had blushed, squirming a little bit, he wasn’t usually this direct with them. Before they realized what was actually happening they were laid out on the bed with him on top and kisses all over their neck and collarbone. They let out tiny gasps and moans, covering their mouth with their hand. “I don’t know how long that’s gonna take for you to be done, but I want you now.” he murmured against their neck, taking the phone out of their hand and setting it to his side. They felt their voice caught in their throat, and all they managed was a nod. Ryuji smirked, he knew how to get his way.
How are you doing my soft and sweet pastel prince? I love you bunches♡♡
YOU. CUTIE. Did you get a boyfriend??!?!? OMFG I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! If you did like worgnorgn I saw your bf tag and I was like “holy smokes congratulations”!!! Aaaa he’s so lucky to get to hold ya and give you nice warm hugs~ Anyways, I’m doing iffy rn! I’m feeling pretty bad physically (just usualy health issues) and it’s starting to bug me emotionally too. I’m just frustrated with having health issues and want it all to stop but I get some things can’t be helped. It’s okay! Hopefully things are more bearable in the next week or two! I love you so much, thanks for checkin in on me!
there is so much hate!!! on my dash!!! rn!!! and I just wanted to tell all the anons that I am fucking ashamed of all of you tbh. how dare you ruin the first day of summer??? with your petty ass bullshit??? fucking go outside and get some vitamin d and calm your little ass down omfg.
I WASNT EXPECTING THAT MUCH BIRB LOVE OMFG THAT MADE ME SO FREAKIN HAPPY QAQ HOPE YOU GET THOSE BIRBS TO VISIT YOU MORE BIRBS ARE ANGELS 💖 i could talk bout birds for days omfg thank you
YES! Birds are VERY GOOD!! And thanks, bb, I hope so too :D
I don’t get out much at all so it’s really nice that i have my little birb visitors every now and then. And hey! Thanks for making me smile and stuff today, I just wanted to let you know that, and I hope you have just a stellar day/night/life, home dawg ♥
pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college
okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order
- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”
- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”
- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.
- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction
- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)
- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him
- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.
- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.
- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point
- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???
- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.
- ALL OF MY CLASSES WERE SO FAKE
- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach
- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.
- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao
- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class
- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again
- I’m not even kidding
- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour
- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching
- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.
- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.
- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.
- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.
- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.
- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.
- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.
- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.
- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.
- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream
- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.
- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.
- I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.
- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.
- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.
- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.
- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.
- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.
- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.
- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.
- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.
- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.
- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.
- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg
- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.
- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.
- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.
- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.
- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.
- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.
- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals
- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”
There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.
i watch it play out on my facebook feed. a cutesy video plays about a wife and a husband texting each other. she bothers him with messages, he almost types “fuck off bitch” but says something nice instead. in this video, the wife is at fault. he doesn’t listen to her, he doesn’t come home, he ignores her messages. she’s a crazy bitch for getting mad at him.
my teacher asked us why marriage rates are going down. what do i know. i see instagram posts where a girl makes a joke about chloroforming a boy and i don’t find it funny. i see plenty of people who are perfectly happy and i see just as many who are broken, deeply. i see boys all the time unable to meet their girlfriend halfway - stuck, somehow, wanting to be open but knowing he can’t be. there’s a theory that the reason so many women are unhappy is that women have multiple deeply intimate relationships in their friend groups while men only have a partner. isn’t that sad. isn’t it strange.
the girl i knew in high school says “omfg this is me and u dan”. she’s talking about a post where married couples want to kill each other. my mother once asked me why i am so scared of touching. why the first time people show affection is the same time i start running. the comedian onstage uses his wife as a trampoline. all around me, people are laughing. the trouble is that jokes always have a bit of truth in them. i almost text him “haven’t heard from you in a while” but instead i turn off my phone.
there’s a lot of things i don’t understand, i guess. bachelor parties where everyone gets wrecked to celebrate his last days of “freedom”. the idea men are giving up so much to be with just one woman. the idea that a woman who is showing toxic behavior is just a bitch, and not a serious threat. what do i know. sometimes it makes me sick. when i was little i believed in love.
but why do people constantly equate nightmares with marriage?
I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring
Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.
Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.
So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit).
Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.
Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.
Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).
So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.
I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.
So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.
But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.
This backfired on her.
See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.
Most students consider that a problem.
So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.
But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!
Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂
And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.
So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.
So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.
But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.
So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:
1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.
2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement
3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in
But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.
All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.
ARTHUR WEASLEY IS ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES AND CERTAINLY THE MOST UNDERRATED OF HARRY’S FATHER FIGURES ok this man:
is so passionate about his job and supporting muggle rights that he doesn’t give two shits abt his reputation as a blood traitor even tho it’s apparently the reason he never got promoted at the ministry
wrote the book on why u should not enchant muggle objects and literally has a shed full of flying vehicles and shit that he hopes his wife doesn’t find out about??? lmao what a rebel?? i love this guy
was concerned about harry before he even met him because ron was worried that he wasn’t responding to letters and when harry came to stay he totally could have been like ‘shit another mouth to feed’ but was really really happy that harry was there and safe??? ‘pls sit next to me at dinner, child, i need to ask you ten thousand questions about muggles’
like he was actually the first adult ever besides maybe hagrid to sit there and ask for harry’s opinions and recognize that he had knowledge and thoughts to offer im crying
fixed harry’s glasses for him after they broke in the floo ;-;
gave zero fucks about what everyone else thought should be done and told harry about sirius black bc he wanted this kid to be aware and safe as possible??
dragged the dursleys for not treating their nephew like a human being (and destroyed their living room what a great moment tbh)
gives advice that harry remembers years later bc he respects this kind ginger man so much ‘don’t trust something that can think for itself if u can’t see where it keeps its brain’
(lol remember that one time molly was upset about death eaters at the quidditch world cup and he made her some tea and then was like ‘i think this needs some whiskey too trust me i’m a doctor’)
agreed that harry should be told certain things about the resistance because he knew harry was competent and intelligent enough to handle it but like also kept in mind that harry was a kid in the middle of a war
took harry to work with him and made sure he got to his hearing on time and distracted him and ‘smiled at him encouragingly’ when he knew he was nervous im dying this was so sweet
was part of the group who threatened the dursleys to keep their hands and shitty attitudes away from harry and he was so ‘light’ and ‘pleasant’ abt it omg this dude was throwing so much shade
was ready to fight scrimgeour with remus when the minister wanted to get harry alone and harry had to be like ‘omfg stand down pls’
‘am i about to discover where you, ron, and hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of fred and george’s shop?’ … ‘how did you-?’ … ‘harry, please. you’re talking to the man who raised fred and george’
never raised his voice except for that one time he told a fully trained auror to back the hell off and get out of his way so he could see his injured son and harry literally thought ‘holy shit’ it says so right there in the book u can check
fought in the battle of hogwarts and after fred and harry had been killed he went into full on rage mode and teamed up with percy to fuck up the minister for magic
‘madame delacour glided forward and stooped to kiss mrs. weasley too. “enchanteé,” she said. “your ‘usband ‘as been telling us such amusing stories!” mr. weasley gave a maniacal laugh; mrs. weasley threw him a look, upon which he became immediately silent and assumed an expression appropriate to the sickbed of a close friend.’
important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one
i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd
- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)
- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)
- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful.
- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please
- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.
-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you
- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact
- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much
- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck
- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)
- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)
- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)
- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd
- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me
- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)
- g o d will solace jfc wow
- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact
- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better
- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)
- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already
- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book
- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it
- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact
- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)
- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)
- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)
- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17
- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW
- lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)
- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY
- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho
- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME
- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)
- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit
- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k
- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed
- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)
- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??
- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120)
- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)
- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships
- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg
i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired
<b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Aries:</b> I FUCKING KNEW IT. Soulmates, can we made out already?<p/><b>Taurus:</b> Omfg, what should I do now? *hit them with food*<p/><b>Gemini:</b> "Oh, hi. Do you wanna marry me?"<p/><b>Cancer:</b> *dies*<p/><b>Leo:</b> Too fabulos even for you. Kiss my ass, I know you want to.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> It's rude to stare at someone but it's okay if you stare at me.<p/><b>Libra:</b> "Just so you know, if you'll stare at me more than 5 minutes you will have to pay."<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> *stares back harder* I could do this all day<p/><b>Saggitarius:</b> Tries to do something funny, ends up in hospital<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> Resting bitch face on the outside, dies on the inside.<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> Stares back or just ignores them. No in between.<p/><b>Pisces:</b> Am I dreaming or what?<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
okay but i want a fic where the enterprise is like on the outskirts of federation space and they pick up survivors of a half-wrecked cardassian freighter and one of the refugees is sybok who totally knew the attack was coming and low key orchestrated it but thats another story because when he gets beamed aboard he and spock have a reunion and it’s very logical and all but kirk is like holy shit spock you have a brother??? why did i not know?? and spock is like you never asked and sybok takes one look at the two of them interacting and realizes how bad his baby brother has it for his captain and says wow spock way to introduce me to your t’hy’la and spock BUGS OUT and gets all flustered and kirk has never seen him act like that before and is like wait what does that mean and spock won’t tell him and practically runs away and sybok is too busy laughing and getting debriefed, and then for the rest of the mission spock won’t look at kirk and he starts to wonder what that word actually means so he keeps trying to work it out of sybok or uhura but they won’t tell him and spock avoids him like the plague, and kirk starts to get dejected because maybe he’s done something wrong, somehow offended spock or something, and sybok realizes that the human is stupid in love too, and bribes scotty to lock them in the turbolift or a supply closet or something because they’re both just idiots and they need to make out and of course scotty does it because its been painfully obvious to everyone on the ship for months that the captain and first officer are SO IN LOVE, LIKE GO FUCK ALREADY JESUS
I saw you were writing a FanFiction, what I do is read other ones to get inspired. A few good ones are "you'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you", "drink responsively" and who can forget "dirty laundry" which is a great classic. I'd love to see lance talking in group chat about FanFiction. Net and like pidge searches him up and finds out he's written docs about Keith and him under different names but like they are super obvious??
lmao i read other fics to get inspired too!! i’ve read dirty laundry of course but omg i looked up the other two and omfg i’m adding them to my reading list :D
(anyway, i hope this fits your request the way you wanted lmao 💜)
now pidge just randomly comes into the chat at all hours of the day and spams their favorite quotes from lance’s fanfic and he’s just like ,,,,,,,,,, w h y