i want to be huge already

Realising Fate

Continuing on from  womans-world I didn’t want to write a huge chapter about Claire and Laoghaire fighting it out because I don’t think it is a fight to be had, Claire has already won just because Jamie loves her, but based on a prompt I received here is a moment that I felt Voyager was missing - Laoghaire realising a little of what lies between our dear J+C. Thank you for reading, H xx

Laoghaire exhaled heavily through her nose and eyed Claire warily. Both women had sat quietly as Jamie explained the situation to Laoghaire. She had blinked away tears and flushed with anger in turn but at his urging had remained silent.

Claire for her part had maintained a firm grip on Jamie’s thigh beneath the table, a small token of her claim on him that she told herself was ridiculous, but kept all the same.

“Jamie, if ye wish to be rid o’ the Sassenach, I will support ye wi’ a divorce petition and …”

“No, Laoghaire, I thought Claire dead and would never have remarried had I ken the truth. It is to her that I was wed first and with her I wish to remain.”

Jamie had said the same thing in different ways more times than he could count and his patience was slipping.

“But ye love me, do ye not?”

“I …”

Torn between shame, guilt and frustration, Jamie hesitated and felt both women’s gaze upon him, Laoghaire’s blue eyes as damp and hopeful as summer rain, Claire’s a blazing inferno burning into him, a look that warned him to keep his silence at his peril.

Jamie squeezed her fingers gratefully beneath the table. His wife, his Sorcha, had never let him be a coward. She understood and respected the parts of him that Laoghaire either did not know were there or could not comprehend and so chose to ignore.

“No, I dinna love ye. I’m sorry Laoghaire, truly. The hurt ye must feel rests at my feet and I will see that you and your girls are seen right.”

When delivering bad news after a surgery, Claire had the often seen the fight go out of a person. Always after a long struggle and always when the latest verdict was final. She saw it happen again now as Laoghaire’s shoulders rounded and the tight lines around her mouth relaxed. Her worst fears had been confirmed and she could no longer fool herself.

“The money is a help but it isna a protection the likes of having a man…”

She shook her head slowly and looked very, very tired.

“All these years of loving ye, wantin’ ye and for this … I dinna ken why God would wish this upon me. The humiliation of it…”

She seemed to be talking to herself; her hands, rough and red from years of hard work, resting on the table palm up and Claire was overcome with an urge to take hold the younger woman’s fingers in her own. She realised that in her own poor and misguided way, Laoghaire had loved Jamie. Perhaps not the man he was but the man she saw in him and the realisation allowed compassion to overcome Claire’s jealousy and anger.

“You are not humiliated Laoghaire.”

Claire said softly and felt Jamie jerk beside her in surprise

“I am sorry that you are hurt, but you pursued something that not meant to be. You and I know the truth of how far you were willing to go to try and get it. Perhaps this is a chance to start again… to find something real.”

Laoghaire snorted and glared at Claire with sudden venom

“Do not dare to pity me, bitch. Aye, I did ye wrong once when I was a girl and ye have come back to pay me in kind all these years later, speak it plain and be done with it.”

“I haven’t come back to do anything to you! My God! Your arrogance!”

Anger bloomed in Claire’s chest afresh and she held Laoghaire’s gaze unwaveringly

“Arrogance? Ha! Ye sit there claiming a man ye long since abandoned, stealin’ him away from his bairns and yet ye speak to me of arrogance!”

“Jamie has just one daughter. My daughter. Do not throw your children before you as a shield for your own petty desires.”

“Speak of my children again and I’ll rip the throat from ye! I see no bairn at your side, most like as it is waitin’ for ye to return to it in the fires of Hell…”

Laoghaire screamed and stood with surprising speed.

“Do you mean to let her speak of Brianna that way?”

Claire demanded turning to fix Jamie with that same withering look.  Jamie opened his mouth to speak but with a noise of disgust, Claire was on her feet and heading toward Laoghaire.

“Claire! Stop it!”

Jamie caught his wife’s arm and pulled her back, the arc of her outstretched palm sailing past Laoghaire’s face, close enough to lift the hair from her neck.

“Enough! Both of ye need to calm down! This is not … Oof!”

The breath left him as Claire’s elbow found his gut but Jamie refused to relinquish his hold and half dragged, half carried her toward the door.

Laoghaire made as if to come after them, straightening her cap

“Dinna move another step!”

Jamie glowered at her and Laoghaire wilted beneath his gaze, sitting down obediently. Claire bit his wrist sharply and Jamie cursed, bundling them both from the room.

“Let me GO!”

“No! I have lost ye once and I’ll no’ lose ye again under the charge of murder.”

Jamie grunted, kicking the door closed behind them and placing himself bodily in front of it, releasing Claire and inspecting his arm, grinning.

“I think ye damn near broke the skin, Sassenach.”

“I meant to break the bone, you smug bastard!”

Claire snapped, swiping the hair back from her face.

“How could you let her speak like that? How could you let her think you LOVED her?”

“It was in the vows – love, honour … ye ken them, aye?”

His grin was gone but to Claire’s absolute fury he still sounded almost amused

“Oh and so you had no choice then?”

She demanded

“Should I have replaced the words with a diatribe of vicious ill wishes?”

Jamie’s eyes had narrowed and Claire could see that he was now close to losing his own temper and she didn’t care.

“YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE FUCKING MADE THEM!”

She screamed, the words ripping from her throat with a guttural rawness. She seldom shouted, unlike Jamie her anger was usually colder but she felt the heat of it now, burning her from the inside out.

“You are mine, do you hear me?”

“Aye Sass…”

“And Brianna is your child! Not those girls! BRIANNA!”

“Clair…”

“Do you hear me? I have not been through EVERYTHING it took for me to get here for you to sit, cowed in silence before that woman…”

“I wasna ‘cowed’!”

Jamie snapped, catching Claire’s wrist as she pointed an accusatory finger at his chest

“Get your bloody hands OFF ME! I will not be intimidated by you or her or anyone else!”

“Aye! Ye make that plain! Screaming the house down like a banshee! Do ye hear yourself, woman?”

“Oh! How awful of me! Of course a woman should be silent and meek in your presence! The great James FUCKING FRASER!”

“Careful Sassenach, I ken ye are angry and I am tryin’ to respect that but my patience has its limits…”

“HA! Don’t I know it!”

On the other side of the door, Laoghaire sat ramrod straight, eyes wide and mouth working silently in awe. She would never have spoken to Jamie the way that woman did. She simply would not have dared. It was not the way a wife spoke to her husband! A part of her saw it as further evidence that she was morally superior to the Sassenach but also …

To hear them rant at each other and be able to still hear the love that lay betwixt them reverberating over the raised voices and the curses was so strange and so beautiful that for a moment Laoghaire didn’t know what to make of it. She had led a life based on quick decisions and rash judgements that pride would not let her renege on but she began to suspect that she had been wrong about some things.

Wrong about Jamie loving the woman because she tricked him with her sweet musical voice and firm breasts. No such flimsy trick could stand up beneath the barrage of insults and squawking that was being thrown at him now.

Wrong about what made a man desire a woman because she could hear the wanting in his voice, Jamie’s beautiful, deep voice, raised in anger and frustration but filled with hunger for Claire despite it all.

Wrong about her own ability to drive the memory of his first wife away. Aye, she had so very clearly been wrong about that. She couldn’t bring herself to admit that what lay between the two warring people outside the door was a love like she had fantasised having her entire life, but she could admit that her place was not here.

Gathering herself, she marched forward and opened the door, swinging it hard enough to hit the wall and bounce back, slamming shut again, but not before she saw Jamie kissing Claire with the sort of fierce passion she had always imagined him capable of, but had never seen before.

It settled the matter. She seized the door and wrenched it open again, striding out, forcing her way bodily between them with a mighty push. For the first time raising her voice to Jamie Fraser she squared her shoulders and said

“Have each other then! But ye will pay my rent and my girls dowry and no’ argue it!”

Before storming out of Lallybroch for the last time.

Claire blinked as if waking and looked up at Jamie. With all the turmoil between them, she had rather forgotten that Laoghaire was still in the room.

“Oh.”

“Aye.”

Jamie puffed out his cheeks and shrugged

“No a verra dignified moment but it seems to have solved any lingering issue there.”

“Yes, yes it rather has.”

Claire wiped a hand across her lips and reached up to touch a graze at Jamie’s temple.

“We should probably try not to savage each other for a day or two …”

“I make no promises, Sassenach.”

Jamie smiled, placing a gentle kiss on the bridge of her nose

“Bed wi’ a vixen, ken?”

Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/05 (p24-25)

I am pleased to bring you the very first interview with director Sayo Yamamoto!!! You don’t know how much I’ve been waiting for this… This one is pretty general because of course she has never been interviewed before so they are asking her the basics, but it’s very interesting to finally hear things from her perspective too, since she’s the one who started it all. More interviews with her will be appearing in other magazines in the near future, I’m looking forward to those ones too.

Also, I believe a bright future is to be expected for Yuri on Ice, since she seems to have lots of plans…!! (I was shivering typing out the translation, lol)

Translation is under the cut.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it***

***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***


Interview (first appearance in media!)
The world of “Yuri on Ice” that director Yamamoto wanted to create
With 8 notebooks full of notes in one hand, director Sayo Yamamoto has answered our interview for the first time. We have asked her how this new animation that no one had ever seen before was born.

Keep reading

Too Soon - Jeff Atkins Imagine

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: Hi i was wondering if i could request 13 reasons why imagine where the reader and Jeff have been dating for a couple months or an year…maybe have smut like they made love and then where Jeff passes away and maybe have the reader visit the grave with clay and tony to tell Jeff..that he was a dad.

WARNINGS: Fluff, smut, small swearing


“Atkins!” I scream when I see my boyfriend in the hallway. I jump in his arms wrap my legs around his torso and kiss him as if I didn’t see him in months when in reality is was literally two periods ago. I’m cheesy like that. We’ve been dating for over a year now, but everyday feels like we started dating yesterday. He never seizes to amaze me. He surprises me with flowers and I still get anxious and excited like a little girl when we go out on dates. He still does things like climb through my window even though my parents basically forced a key on him. He even does things like come over at 2am when I joke about being scared. He’s just the best boyfriend in the world.

“Hey baby” he laughs as he kisses me back. “You ready to go”

“Yes, it’s Friday and I’ve never been happier” I slide my hand in his as we walk out the school building earning a ‘bye’ or ‘what up’ from people.

As we walked to my house, Jeff kept telling me corny jokes and pick-up lines he found online last night trying to make me laugh.

“Babe, knock knock?”

“Not another one J.”

“Baaabe knock knock, come on last one I promise.”

“You said that three jokes ago” I whine.

“Oh. Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?” I sigh.

“A broken pencil” he smiles.

“A broken pencil who” I sigh, already knowing the joke.

“Never mind it’s poin-”

“Pointless” I say as I laugh dramatically. He looks at me seriously for interrupting his corny joke. 

“Sorry baby, love you!” I try to kiss him the rest of the way home as he pretends to be mad at me.  

As we walk in, he stills pretend to be mad when he stomps into my room and close the door. He closes me out my room. My room.

“Babe really” I laugh.

“Do a knock knock joke then you can come in.”

“No”

“Yes”

“Noo babe”

“Well then I’m going to go take a nap”

“No!” I roll my eyes as if he can see it. “Fine babe…knock knock”

“Who’s there” he cooed.

“Al.” I smirk.

“Al who?” 

“Al strip for you if you open this door” I smirk biting my lip. As soon as I said that, the door swung open and I’m met with Jeff’s lips as he pulls me inside. He shuts the door and pushes me up against it. 

“No need to do that” he whispers in my ear. He starts kissing and sucking on my neck and pulls up the dress I’m wearing. He slides his hands under my underwear to my butt and pulls me to him.

“J-Jeff” I moan. He looks at me and bit his lip as he throws the dress off, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He scans my body as I turn my head, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He moves my head to face him and I see such admiration in his eyes.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” When he said that I wanted nothing more than to feel him on me. I throw my arms around his neck and hungrily kiss him. He grabs my legs and I jump on him as he moves us to the bed. He hovers over me as he deepens the kiss. He puts his hand behind my neck to pull me closer to him. He rubs my thigh up and down as he slowly peppers kisses all over my neck and chest. He’s painfully teasing and I can’t take it.

“Jeff” I whisper.

“Yes y/n?”

“I need you” he looks at me and simply smiles.

He continues to kiss my neck as he unclasp my bra. He starts sucking my breast and massaging the other as I run my hands through his hair. He does the same to the other and I’m a moaning mess.

“Jeff please” I moan.

“We’re almost there baby” he whispers.

He kisses down my stomach and thigh slowly, never breaking his stare from me. I whine again as he comes back and goes back to sweetly kissing me. I groan from the friction of my almost bare core against his jeans and wiggle for him to get the idea. He does and pulls off his jeans and I hastily pull off his shirt.

“Someone is ready” he giggles. I roll my eyes and roughly palm his member through his boxers making him grunt.

“Someone is hard” I mimic smirking. He tries to keep his groans in until I full on grab him and he does a full moan. Now he’s the frantic one as he rips my underwear off of me. Literally.

“Jeff!” I scream.

“Sorry baby, I’ll get you another one” he smirks. He slides his hands all over my body, making me shiver.

“You like that?” he asks. I nod as he slips a finger in me and goes back to kissing. I  whimper from his touch and go for his underwear. I push them down and his member springs out. He kicks them off and slides two fingers in this time. I moan into his mouth as he goes at a fast pace. I let out more moans as I start to get close.

“Jeff baby, I’m abou-” when I said that, Jeff pulled his fingers away and I frown. 

“I want to feel you cum, not with my fingers” he smirks.

He grabs a condom out his wallet from his pocket and slide it on. He gives me a look for confirmation and I nod, just wanting to feel him already. He pushes his length into me. At first it hurt, but it always does when we have sex because of his huge size. The longer he’s in me, the more I get used to it. He pushes in slowly and draws out a little. I start to moan as I connect my lips with his. As he picks up his pace, I dig my nails into his back. He hooks my legs over his shoulder and I scream a little.

“Je-OH My fuck!” he’s directly hitting my g-spot and I can’t even think. I moan louder as I grab the pillow under my head, arching my back. 

“Fuck princess! you feel good” he moans. 

“H-harder J-Jeff!” He goes harder and I start almost full on screaming. As we both are climaxing, Jeff pulls out and puts me on all fours. He pushes back in and grabs my breast from behind. I lean back as he kisses my neck while pounding into me. He moans into my ear as I hold the back of his neck. I can’t control my moans and screams and neither can he. They come out louder as he hits the right spot over and over again. As we get closer, I fall onto my hands and Jeff holds my waist. He roughly rubs me with his fingers as I scream to let go of my release.

“J-JEFF!” I scream.

He cums shortly after I do and collapse next to me. We lay there in a comfortable silence while I rest my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. Both still out of breath, he looks over to me.

“Knock knock?”

“Who’s there” I laugh. 

“I love”

“I love who?” I say, letting him finish it this time for his sake.

“I love you” He smiles as he kisses me.

“My corny boyfriend” I laugh.


*Tomorrow Night*

“You guys have been inseparable all night my gosh” Jessica drunkenly laughs. Me and Jeff look at each other and chuckle, knowing exactly why. We have been at Jessica’s party for a while now and have been sitting on the couch with Jessica, Bryce, and Zach.

“Leave them alone babe, that’s how we are” Justin laughs.

“Oh, you get me flowers?” when Justin doesn’t answer, all of us start cracking up. 

“Well I’m going to get a beer, you guys want one?” Zach asks as he gets up. 

“Nah no thanks man, my girl will kill me cause I’m the driver tonight” I smile when he said that, happy that he cares about his well being. We continue talking to our group of friends and have a pretty good time.

“Where is Clay and Hannah” I whisper in his ear.

“Somewhere around here, probably upstairs, I did my meddling for the night and got them together.”

“Aw how noble of you” I giggle, pinching his cheeks. “Thank you ma’am”.

“See! look at them, they are perfect” Jessica playfully whines.

“Shut up!” Justin say as he grabs her face and start full on making out. Everyone starts ewing and shooing them off the couch.

“Get a room!”

“Jess, your room is upstairs!”

“Get it Foley!”

Justin flips us all off, never breaking their kiss and we all laugh. Monty taps Jeff on the shoulder and screams over the loud music.

“Yo bro you still doing the beer run!?”

Jeff got up and nodded his head, “Yeah shit I almost forgot”

I got up with him, frowning and grab his arm before he could go anywhere, “Babe do you have to go? I’m pretty sure there is enough beer, just not enough for every single person to get ass faced drunk.”

He kissed my forehead and smiled, “I’ll be right back babe I promise”. I pick up my bag and turn towards him, “Okay then I’m coming with you”.

“Baby, you have to watch out for Clay and Hannah remember, I’ll be back in 15 minutes then we can leave right after.”

I sigh still not liking this. I know he didn’t drink anything, but I’m still nervous for him to be out this late. What if someone else out there is drunk driving? I tell myself its fine and nod my head.

“Okay fine, just be careful J.”

“I will baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.” he gives me a peck on the lips and I hold onto his hand and let it slide out once he got to far to reach it. I watch him walk out the door and sit back down onto the couch, waiting for his return.


*4 Weeks Later*

Life is unfair. Life is so unfair. Why him? Why Jeff? Why my boyfriend. Such an amazing boyfriend. Is the best. Was the best. I stare down at his tombstone and couldn’t stop my tears from falling. So many tears. I found myself screaming at night. If I wasn’t screaming I was just silent. Completely silent. I mean was there for me to say? He’s gone. Jeff Atkins is gone. Never to hold me again, never to make me feel better, never to get me the flowers, never to throw rocks outside my window. I bend down and touch his stone. 

“I-I m-miss you so much” my voice cracks. “Why d-did you h-have to leave m-me?” I start crying harder. This is my first time being at his grave, due to the fear of seeing him. The fear of seeing reality of this situation. 

“Y-you would b-be so happy right now” I hiccup as I touch my stomach. I felt the little bump and smile through my tears.

“Y-you would have told him knock knock jokes” I laugh to myself, “or her”.

“Y-you would have t-taught baseball terms” I smile.

“You would h-have been the perfect dad” I cried looking down at him, “the best”.

I put the roses he always got me onto his grave and wiped my tears, even though they kept coming down. I kissed my finger and touched them against his stone that read 

Jeff Atkins

World’s greatest son 

world’s best companion

Even a better dad

Gone but never forgotten.

“I love you Jeff”I got up and continued crying as both Tony and Clay stood there respectfully and silent, waiting for me to finish. I smile lazily at them and hooked my arm into both of theirs as we walked out of the graveyard. I look back one more time and thought to myself ‘the love of my life might be gone, but he will forever live on in my heart’


A/N - Omgg!! I cried making this ending. It was so sad to me. I hope you guys liked it and love you guys for all your support. Your imagines are not forgotten.

Headcanon: Lance doesn't want kids

He could really go either way. Sure, he likes kids and loves his big family, but growing up he saw how he and his siblings drove his parents nuts and thought a couple of times “Is that something I really need in my life?”

Then he joined voltron and just accepted that kids were not happening for him, no family of his own. He’d fight his life away in space and if he ever made it back home then it would probably be too late for him. He’d just recede into his own family and become crazy uncle Lance with the war stories and he’s not super ok with that but it doesn’t tear him up inside.

And then, he found out Keith wanted kids. Keith was alone for a large portion of his life and while he would never admit it outloud to anyone, Lance can see it in the way he stares and smiles at the children they save. In the way he looks longingly at the families they reunite. In the way Keith asks him about his huge family back home with tons of kids running around and his eyes soften at the stories. It’s dark in the room they now share, wrapped up in eachothers arms and Lance asks the question he already knows the answer to.

“Do you want kids?”

Keith blushes and sputters and avoids eye contact but somewhere in the middle of all that nonsense he mutters an “I guess” and he’s so embarrassed by it he turns away from Lance and he spoons him, resting his head in between Keith’s neck and shoulder. And then he hears a small, terrified whisper in the dark.

“Do you?”

Lance answers with no hesititation.

“More than anything.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

@wiredpirate and @clears-jellyfish-dress this does not count as me writing and publishing fanfic ok it is headcanon that’s different you fucks

After hearing about it for a while, I’ve recently started a morning ritual that has already improved my productivity and focus. Initially it sounded like it would take up way too much of my time, but now I’m a total morning pages convert. 

what they are

Here’s the basic idea: every morning you take out three pages of paper and free write (by hand! no word docs allowed) whatever comes to your mind. There are no rules about what you write, as long as you write three pages of something

why they help

The reason behind morning pages is that once you have everything down on paper, you can free up some headspace to do other things. It’s also a nice way to pinpoint why you’re feeling anxious, or if something has been on your subconscious. And let me tell you, it works. I’ve found that I easily make up for the time it takes to do them (about 20 minutes) in the time that I would normally be distracted. 

how to make them count

Free writing can be difficult to get the hang of. We often feel confined by rules and grammar, so throwing them all out the window feels wrong. Remember that these pages are for your eyes only, they won’t be graded so don’t worry about spelling something wrong or even making them legible to anyone else. My pages are often full of abbreviations and are written in handwriting no one could ever dream of reading. And that is a-okay, because they don’t have to be pretty or thoughtful, they just have to be done. I write whatever comes to mind and just let my thoughts flow. One thing will remind you of the next until you have three full pages in no time. 

So what if you don’t know where to start? Just write down everything you have to do today. Write down anything you’re worried about in the future. Write down anything you’d like to do someday. You’ll soon find something that you didn’t even know was bothering you. 

I don’t expect to read them again anytime soon, but it may be cool to see in a bit how everything I worried about worked out, so I’m hanging onto them for now. If recycling them is more your speed, that’s cool too. Just don’t be tempted to type them up! If you’re writing on a computer you can go back and change things and will be more tempted to make them perfect. That’s exactly what you want to avoid. Hand writing them will keep them from being perfect so that they can be good

Try it out for a couple days and let me know if it helps. I know that I’ve already seen a huge difference!

anonymous asked:

I'm curious about what procedures you think need to change in the livestock industry?

Practically, or philosophically? There is so much that can be talked about in this field

From a practical standpoint, there are a number of areas where current livestock practices are far from ideal. Farming has a huge history behind it, and many of these practices are ingrained and so difficult to change.

Before I go through the list, I should preface that if you’re not comfortable with the fact that farmed animals die for human benefit, if you just want all farms to stop using animals, then you’re not going to find this list satisfactory. If you’re fundamentally uncomfortable with livestock industries, and you haven’t already questioned why you consume the products it produces or what your alternatives are, then it might be worthwhile.

For now, these industries are not going anywhere. They’re certainly not perfect but we could improve them. Regardless of whether you personally believe all these industries should be ‘just stopped’ you have to agree that will not happen overnight, and that other welfare improvements could happen today.

  • Pain relief being more widely used. There has historically been an aversion to using pain relief medication in livestock due to expense, drug residues and the lack of products made for and tested in the species. This is beginning to change so there are not more options for pain relief at castration and mulesing , for example, but this needs to be more widely used. Another hurdle to this is that they are prescription products, and in order for a veterinarian to prescribe them they must have been out to that farm within the last year and be familiar with their set up and stock. Not every farm will call out a veterinarian on a regular basis.
  • Minimize transport time. Transport, whether by road, train, boat or plane, is incredibly stressful for livestock of all kinds. We can measure their physiological stress, so this is definitely not just anthropomorphism. Livestock are more stressed in transport than they are by witnessing death, which is the opposite to what many people would think. 
  • On-farm slaughter and refrigerated transport. Following on from the previous point, we have the technology to transport chilled carcasses. Performing slaughter on farm removes or eliminates a large percentage of the transport an individual animal needs to be exposed to, and will improve their welfare. Animals don’t perceive death the same way we do, having a mini abattoir at the farm entrance isn’t going to bother them.
  • Using genetics instead of procedures. It astounds me in this modern day that we still have breeders of hereford cattle that breed the horned version, and then de-horn the calves, instead of selecting stock with the polled (no horns) trait. If you want horns then fine, but if you’re going to cut/burn/cauterize them off anyway when why not remove them genetically? The polled gene exists! Similarly there are a small number of merino sheep with a ‘bare breech’ trait, which don’t need mulesing. It would be ideal to spread this trait through the Australian sheep population, but with millions and millions of sheep and a ram only about to impregnate about 60 a month, that will take time.
  • Enrichment. Toys. Something for animals to play with, to investigate, to do. This has been historically neglected for a long time because originally animals weren’t though to have souls, or to be thinking, feeling entities. We know differently now. Enrichment only improves the lives of these animals, and often reduces unwanted or destructive behavior, like piglets biting off each others tails.
  • Dam-neonate bonding in certain industries should be reconsidered. In some situations, the dairy industry in particular, neonates may be taken from their mothers within 24 hours to reduce disease transmission in eradication of certain diseases, like Johnes disease, but in other situations it’s because for some mind boggling reason it is more cost efficient for a farm to sell the mother’s milk and feed the neonate on milk replacer.  
  • In a similar vein, giving sows enough space to nurse their litter would be great. They’re kept in sow stalls (basically a cage that they can stand up or lie down in that the piglets can run through) so that they don’t squash their piglets and kill them. That’s great and all, except you can accomplish the same thing by giving the sow more space to turn around it and slopes on the wall of the pen.

So, the important question I hope you’re asking is why don’t we do these things already?

There are lots and lots of reasons someone could grab, but the short (and I dare say more honest) reason is this: Money.

Granting an animal more space costs you money because it reduces the number of animals you can stock in your space. Using more pain relief medication costs you money. Calling out a vet costs you money. Providing enrichment costs you various amounts of money. On-farm slaughter and refrigerated transport is more expensive than the current system.

So if this is all about money, is it the fault of greedy farmers? Well, generally no.

Most farmers actually like the species of animal they work with. And most of them, especially with recent droughts, the current political climate and monopolization of the companies that buy their products, are not making big buckets of cash. More and more farms are selling up and small producers are not keeping up.

They are under constant pressure to lower the prices of their animal products because there’s only a few big buyers, and right now it’s the buyers that dictate what price they’re willing to pay. Because these animal products are perishable, you can’t save them for a rainy day if you don’t sell them, and these buyers are big enough, they can hold out and only pay what they want to pay. This severe downward pressure means farmers get paid progressively less, and these companies make more profits while claiming it’s good for consumers.

^ Look familiar?

So we get cheaper food, the company makes more profit, and the individual farms get screwed.

Especially with milk, there was a huge crisis recently where one of the big milk buyers suddenly declared it had been overpaying dairies, and that not only was it now going to pay them much less for the season (on contract mind you), but that all their dairies now owed them thousands of dollars. After years of downward price pressure on their product many farms could not, and can not, afford this. You can get an overview here.

The point I’m trying to get to is that if these industries are gong to improve, then we need to value the individual animal and its experience of life more than we currently do. 

If we value the experiences of the individual animal, and consequently put our money where our mouth is when it comes to their products, then there should be both motivation and financial ability to improve their lives. We could progress from mere ‘prevention of cruelty’ and minimum standards towards animal welfare and good welfare states.

Changing consumer patterns is probably the only way to do this, and it’s quite hard when you’re already paycheck to paycheck, but a in depth rant/discussion about politics/policy/economics etc is beyond my scope, though I would happily add veterinary and industry specific detail to a discussion if someone wants to tackle that side of it.

Sometimes I hate being trans. A lot of the time, actually. While everyone else is moving forward, you’re feel like you’re waiting, waiting, waiting. For the next GIC appointment. For hormones to show any effect. For surgery. For the next surgery. For forms and reports and assessments to be filled out.

These things take weeks, months, years. Whole parts of your life get eaten away on waiting lists for services that are already stretched to their limit. And all the time you want everything to stop - to right itself in some magical overnight miracle. You spend nights crying and asking ‘why me?’ Why am I the one who has to be stuck here? 

But you will get there. I promise you. Nobody knows patience like us trans folk. We have to be strong, mentally, emotionally and physically, because we are forced to be by our very nature. It’s something huge to bear and it’s okay if you’re not always okay. It isn’t fun, and it isn’t fair. And it’s okay to grieve - for being born with the wrong parts, or for all the times that your body restricted you in life - for the things you wish you had. Grieve if you need to. 

There is light and dark to everything in life. Being trans is no exception. Keep going. Wait and fight and grieve and celebrate and live - in the way that only we trans people know how. 

You’ll come out stronger in the end.

On giving veterinary advice online

I know it’s tempting when you have a veterinary question “Hey! I know a vet online! I can just ask them,” because it’s so easy to type out a question, especially anonymously, and media like Tumblr makes everything feel casual. Phoning a clinic might seem scary, especially talking to staff or vets there that you’re not familiar with, and messaging a blog seems like a lower stress alternative.

But I often cannot and should not help you.

If you message me because your dog is lethargic, I have no way of knowing whether it’s merely tired, or whether it has a bleeding abdominal tumour and will be dead by the morning. I’d only be guessing, even with years of training and experience. And if I guess wrong…

There are regional differences in diseases. I’m not even going to be thinking about tick borne infections for a sick dog, because that’s not what I see. My diagnostic ability is very geography specific.

It’s not legal for me to dispense specific veterinary advice outside my state of registration. If I don’t know where you are my advice more likely to be bad. I can’t write you a prescription either.

I’m very reluctant to contradict a vet who has actually seen the patient. Aside from being poor form and potentially bringing my profession into disrepute, hearing second hand information is highly likely to be inaccurate. No offense intended, but pet owners commonly relay information about what their previous vet did or said wrongly, and I can’t reliably draw a conclusion from that.

And I do not want to encourage people to think that sending me a question is a viable alternative to asking their own vet. Whether this is about food, treatments or, especially, emergency and time sensitive advice. The treating vet is already a wealth of knowledge, you should be asking their clinic about ongoing care and follow up questions after surgery, not somebody who is, let’s be frank, a complete stranger on the internet.

There is huge potential for online veterinary advice to do harm, which is why professions like mine are regulated.

I don’t want to close my ask box. I also don’t want to just be ‘mean’ and delete questions that are not appropriate, but also don’t want to clog the blog with 'call your vet’. Sometimes I do provide a short, curt answer encouraging people to call their vet. Sometimes well meaning people will add commentary to that post, which defeats the purpose of encouraging that person to call their local clinic. I know it feels good to answer questions, but there are legal liability issues that I just don’t want to deal with. I have to watch my back, and budding vetlings out there will need to do the same.

It is often safer for both myself and the patient for me to say call your vet.

I’m not doing it to be mean. I’m going it to be safe.

If you take wrong advice from the internet over advice from a consulting vet, there is a huge potential for harm. I cannot, and should not, shoulder that moral responsibility, and you don’t get to absolve your responsibility by shrugging your shoulders and saying “Well, I asked Dr Ferox.”

speedsterunlimited  asked:

Wow! The top 10 outfits for Minako were crazy! I love your comments Audrey XD Could you do a 10 ten for Makoto please? 💚💚💚💚

I hope you’re ready for the high waisted pants appreciation post, because that’s what it’s going to be. 

10. This is the ultimate Mom Friend look. She is just going out to run some errands and wants to know if you want anything from the grocery store while she’s out. 

9. Mom Friend: Summer Edition, a very similar look but for warmer weather. The loosely tucked shirt says “oh this old thing I just threw it on very casually” but is actually meticulously crafted. 

8. Serving up ice cream but also serving up LOOKS, correct? 

7. Wholeheartedly accepting her color motif into her heart and wardrobe. This ensemble screams “I am the reincarnated guardian of the planet Jupiter, born on this earth as a human.” 

6.  A lot of Mako’s look trend toward the femme side of things, but this one outfit is the tomboy within saying “hey today is the day we wear a hooded jersey with a baseball cap” and Makoto (who has learned to accept herself with the help of Usagi) says “hell yes it is.”

5. This might possibly be an outfit of Miss Haruna’s, but truly this outfit belongs to anyone who can pull it off. It’s like the Excalibur of clothing. 

4. The shorts are layered over the shirt, which is layered over the jacket, which is layered over the shorts. All is layered, and layers over all else. It’s beautiful, is what it is. 

3. Speaking of layers. Sometimes you want to take off all those cute but uncomfortable clothes and slip into something cozy and even cuter than before. 

2. I was already a huge fan of the green turtleneck, the high waisted shorts with matching hair tie, and the crisp white vest with a bow in the back. This is already the perfect outfit. But as soon as you add sunglasses, it just becomes….. transcendent. It’s greater than any of us could have imagined. It’s beyond us now. 

1. You knew what number one was before this list was ever even made. 

SO MANY THINGS ABOUT THIS UPDATE!!!!!!

-Bitty being SO NERVOUS about everything and obsessing over the pie. “But there’s still a slice of this maple-sugar-crusted apple pie so THEY HATE ME.” BITS PLEASE.

- JACK’S TEAMMATES BEING SUPPORTIVE. ESPECIALLY MARTY AND THIRDY JUST HAVING JACKS BACK

-TATER BEING SO CHILL ABOUT IT BUT ALSO BEING HILARIOUS “secret? why? who cares? he’s one making all the nook pies?” TATER JUST WANTS HIS PIE OK? HE DOESN’T CARE WHO MAKES IT

- Snowy in a snapback. thats all.

- TATER CALLING BITTY ‘B’ 

- Tater and Bitty’s adorable heartfelt conversation, finding out tater’s parents were pretty well known, finding out he feels a lot of the sAME PRESSURE JACK FEELS. TATER, BITTY, JACK BONDING SESH RIGHT THERE.

- TATER AND BITTY BITCHING ABOUT PARSON. MY. GOD. “Parson. Yech.” “He’s some piece of work in’he?” “Next time? Throw him across ice.” LIKE TATER, CHILL. (we already know you have a huge crush on him. ok?)

- “And the shower joke on the bus.” lemme tell u a thing it’s a good thing jack didn’t name names with that because I would have gone into the Samwell universe and throttled whoever said that MYSELF. I WANT TO CRY OK???

- “One day you’re a rook, the next you’re haulin’ kids” JACK AND BITTY WITH KIDS. J A C K + B I T T Y + K I D S

- JACKS ALARMED LOOKIN FACE WHEN HE SEES BITTY GONNA TRY TO LIFT TATER. #CONCERNEDBOYFRIEND

- MARTY AND THIRDY JUST FINDING #CONCERNEDBOYFRIEND FRICKEN HILARIOUS

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. I’D LIKE TO THANK NOT ONLY GOD, BUT NGOZI.

The other big thing from last night was Percy’s thing with Scanlan and that’s also definitely worth talking about.

The main takeaway from it for me was that Percy has officially disowned Scanlan as part of his family. His reasons for this are twofold, I think. 

The first reason is what Percy more or less directly told Vex: Percy knows that Scanlan doesn’t actually believe the things he yelled at them. Scanlan was just saying things that were hurtful in order to burn bridges and leave the party. There were a few bits and pieces of true things buried in what Scanlan was yelling about, but most of it was simply aimed to hurt and Percy is much more aware of that than the rest of Vox Machina, who have mostly taken it at face value.

Scanlan hurt the rest of them to make himself feel better and Percy’s main associations with that are his abusers and himself - none of which are people Percy is inclined to forgive.

The second reason is what Percy has never said out loud and it’s that he can’t stand the idea of somebody abandoning their family. The idea of just leaving a group of people who need you is abhorrent to Percy. Why? Because he did that. He ran and he left Cass behind and he left Whitestone behind and he kept running for five years and he hates himself for it. Percy considers himself a massive coward for his actions back then and now Scanlan is repeating them - and let’s not forget that Scanlan wasn’t originally going to leave with Kaylie. He was just going to leave everyone behind and Percy is Not Impressed by Scanlan copying the thing that is the source of Percy’s deepest self-loathing.

As for Percy’s actions, Percy said he wanted his things back, but the two things he mentioned were the Gatestone and the earring of whispers, neither of which are inherently Percy’s. They are, however, inherently Vox Machina’s. The Gatestones and the earrings were never intended for specific people but rather were for group usage. As far as Percy is concerned, if Scanlan doesn’t want to be part of the group anymore then he shouldn’t have group property - especially property they need. We saw how obnoxious it was that Tary didn’t have an earring and the Gatestones are hugely useful items. I don’t believe Percy actually knew Vex gave one to Scanlan (he was told Scanlan had it later but he had already left the room when Vex convinced Scanlan to take one of the stones) and he probably assumed Scanlan had it before and just left with it.

Now Scanlan actually does have a piece of property that is definitely Percy’s by rights - Scanlan still has one of the guns they confiscated on Glintshore and 15 rounds of ammunition. Percy is not aware that Scanlan has this and if he found out, his reaction would be pretty bad and Scanlan is well aware of that which is why he’s been hiding it from Percy since he took it.

Here’s the biggest problem with all of it:

Despite what Percy says and what he wants to feel, and despite the fact that he has bitterly crossed Scanlan off his family tree - he still cares.

Percy conned Keyleth out of the Scrying Eye by pretending to be a pervert and he did it because he cared where Scanlan was and how he was doing, and he knew the rest of the party wouldn’t agree to scry on him. But Percy is always willing to play the bad guy for everyone’s benefit and you can’t tell me Vex wasn’t relieved to hear Scanlan was fine when Percy told her. The whole party wants to know but they know it’d be intruding to check, so Percy checked for them.

The spy is the same thing. Percy doesn’t think for even half a second that Scanlan is going to do anything that’s worth his time to know about. He’s just traveling, having stilted conversations with his daughter, and entertaining farmers. Percy sent a spy so that if Scanlan gets into some shit or ends up dead, VM will know about it ASAP and they can get to the location to do something about it. That’s pretty much it. That spy is either going to be incredibly entertained or insanely bored for the next year.

Or, y’know, Kaylie or Scanlan will notice said spy and send him back home with a rudely worded message and a kick in the ass, but Scanlan’s perception is trash so that’s probably gonna be on Kaylie to catch him.

At any rate, the long and the short of it is that nobody takes betrayal quite as poorly as Percival de Rolo, nobody holds a grudge as stubbornly, and nobody loves their family quite as fiercely and as violently. And that’s why I can’t wait for Scanlan to come back to the group in a year’s time and for Percy to spend three months hissing and snarling at him like a scorned cat.

How Fusion relationships work

“How many Gems are you now?”
“Six! Maybe more … if we meet the right Gem.”

In the episode “Off Colors,” Fluorite makes it clear she’s a relationship of SIX Gems and is open to more. I was joking around trying to think of what her fusion dance would look like if she added another Gem to this relationship, thinking it would be kind of adorable seeing one smaller Gem dancing to fuse with this huge amalgam. But then I wondered about a few things and I collected enough Thinky Thoughts to ramble for a bit.

For a long time before “Super Watermelon Island,” we fans were curious about Alexandrite’s fusion dance. We knew Garnet, as a Fusion herself, prefers to form Fusions with others when she’s already in her Fusion state–as in, she certainly doesn’t split up first to dance with the others one on one when she wants to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. 

We figured hey, maybe it’s easier to synchronize two Gems rather than trying to synchronize three at the same time, and therefore maybe Alexandrite was formed with Pearl and Amethyst fusing into Opal first before dancing with Garnet. 

In “Super Watermelon Island,” we see that’s not so.

Which is not to say that Opal and Garnet COULDN’T decide to fuse that way, but they didn’t in this case. And we can see that if they’re prepared to do it, a three-way synchronization can work without previously synchronizing the components into Fusions.

Fusions can fuse with individuals. With TWO individuals. And individual Gems can of course make Fusions. So basically, it’s free-for-all mix-n-match however the Gems involved are comfortable doing it. 

And I got to wondering what that means for the Fusions themselves. Fusions are relationships. So theoretically, Fusions are the relationships of the component Gems with each other, even in more complicated Fusions like Alexandrite. But essentially, Alexandrite seems like she is the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl with Garnet, not so much the relationship of Amethyst and Pearl and Ruby and Sapphire. If they were to all four fuse in a single fusion dance, they would still make Alexandrite, but Pearl and Amethyst probably don’t HAVE much of a relationship with Ruby or with Sapphire individually. When Pearl first met Garnet in any meaningful way, she was already fused.

So when Pearl makes Sardonyx with Garnet, that relationship is by definition Ruby, Sapphire, and Pearl’s relationship, but practically speaking, it’s a relationship between Pearl and Garnet. Because her relationship with Ruby and Sapphire is nearly always in the context of them as their relationship. As Garnet.

That may seem like a weird point to press on, but stay with me here. 

Garnet probably doesn’t have much of a relationship with Opal as an individual. She has individual relationships with Pearl and with Amethyst, and together their group is Alexandrite. They’re a four-Gem Fusion, but personality-wise, Alexandrite represents Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst together far more than she represents Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, and Amethyst together. When they start to fight internally, you certainly hear Garnet’s voice coming out, not the voices of Ruby or Sapphire. (And maybe, aside from the potential spoiler-related reasons, that’s why Alexandrite makes more sense with six arms instead of eight.)

Rebecca Sugar has repeatedly said in interviews that Fusions ARE relationships (though they also obviously have their own opinions that can be in contradiction with their components’ opinions, like Sugilite, and can “feel like one being” like Garnet said in “Keeping It Together”). And she’s also said Fusions are an interesting opportunity to explore who people are TOGETHER–the way humans can be together in a relationship and it changes who they are, how they think, how they function as a unit even though they can never be as much of a single entity as a Fusion is. This has me thinking about Fluorite.

She’s an established six-Gem relationship. I don’t know how they came to the conclusion that they wanted to live together, but Rhodonite’s question “how many Gems are you now?” suggests she’s been adding them steadily–that it wasn’t all at once. Very much like Amethyst and Pearl having a relationship with GARNET far more than with Ruby and/or Sapphire individually, I imagine that Fluorite’s additional Gems beyond the first ones–including potential future additions–would develop a relationship with the Fusion, not so much with her components. They may not even KNOW much about who they are individually because the relationship is that significant. That the relationship changes them so much.

I mean, you’ve probably met people who are in relationships and have been part of that unit since a very long time before you met them. They’ve grown into each other, become comfortable with each other, and developed a collective “we” identity that connects to their family, their living situation, their thresholds of intimacy, their interests–everything. You would have no way to know the individuals in that relationship how they would be if they didn’t have it–just like it’s hard to imagine who someone might be if they weren’t an artist, or weren’t a mother, or weren’t chronically ill, or weren’t the gender or sexuality they are. You can’t pluck one element out of them and then try to re-imagine them around the hole that leaves–not unless that element actually does disappear and they readjust their identity around it. I think our relationships can be like that too–that they affect our identity.

Humans’ relationships aren’t as literally transformative as a relationship that can literally become its own person, but our relationships essentially have lives of their own too. Garnet didn’t describe Fusion to Stevonnie as “an experience” for nothing. Most of us don’t “feel like one being” as part of a relationship, and there are some ways in which that can be unhealthy for us if we repress important parts of ourselves to become subsumed in something we wouldn’t like if we were fully conscious of what we were doing. But in general, it’s not a bad thing to have one’s relationship regarded as an important element of who they are. It’s certainly part of how the outside world thinks of them and treats them.

With someone like Fluorite, I think it would be super interesting to see how a single Gem has a relationship with an existing relationship and becomes a part of it. But even though I think Fluorite, and Garnet, and even in some ways Malachite, can be regarded and treated as individuals while fused–requiring those who have relationships with them to take them as a whole–you would also have to have at least some kind of relationship with that relationship’s members. You’d understand them as a package deal, but you might have different feelings about its members. Steven, for instance, loved Lapis and disliked Jasper, but understood Malachite as someone he needed to fight.

Now here’s the sad thing. Garnet states that she’ll “always exist in” Ruby and Sapphire, and that she embodies their love (even though they can still experience that love when they’re not fused, too). But I imagine that if Garnet were separated for a long time, Steven would miss her a lot. And I can imagine if one of Steven’s guardians decided to, say, form a new Fusion with Fluorite and stay that way, he would miss her too. You can’t have both the single Gem and the perma-Fusion in your life consistently.

Most of us have been there. “Losing” a person to a new relationship and nothing is ever the same with them again. They give themselves to the relationship, they go everywhere together, and you can’t invite one without them bringing the other(s). Sometimes, you probably miss that person and want them back. But when they’re part of the relationship, that’s part of who they are, and even when they’re not with their partner(s), they’re part of that relationship. Sometimes that can feel sad, especially if it means your special relationship with that person had to end, lessen, or significantly change. 

Fusion relationships are very different from ours in a few obvious ways, but they’re not so fundamentally different that we can’t draw the parallels. Sometimes you wish the Fusion wasn’t there because you think the relationship is bad for those involved, like Malachite. If you’re Steven, you want your Lapis back and you want Jasper out of both of your lives. You might try to advise Lapis, you might try to protect her from Jasper, but she’s the one who has to decide what her relationship is. You can only hope she sees reason, or you could lose her in more ways than one.

With loving relationships, like Garnet, you want them to be together. Not necessarily because you like Garnet better than you like Ruby and Sapphire–it’s fun to see them now and then, sure!

But you know they prefer to be together, and that they experience anxiety and pain when they’re apart, and that they’ve chosen a life together where some of their individuality is given up for that closeness. You respect their decision and have a relationship with their relationship.

For humans, our relationships do not literally combine the traits of multiple people into one person that then has its own conscious will. The individuals in the relationship still function, while “the relationship” has no physical manifestation despite its influence being felt in the components. But it still changes the “color” of their lives together and brings the people involved close together to serve many shared goals, just like a Fusion.

So when a hypothetical new Gem does come along and establish a relationship with Fluorite, I think she would dance with her. Not with her components individually, but with her. We know Garnet as Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship–not as Ruby and Sapphire combined, but as the result of that combination. For a fused Gem, the Fusion is the new identity who can now make decisions and have experiences, even though they ARE an experience at the same time. It isn’t the same as individuals deciding to do the same thing. They made the decision to become the thing that decides on its own. And that Fusion, in the reality of their life together, can sometimes decide that’s no longer what they want to be. Or they can realize they’d rather be this than anything they were supposed to be and that they’d rather do this than anything they were supposed to do.

If a Gem has a relationship with a relationship, it’ll always be with the relationship first. The new relationship will need to be understood as coming into a shared, existing intimacy. Pearl and Amethyst don’t individually get consent from Ruby and from Sapphire when Garnet acts on their behalf to form Alexandrite. Garnet feels and acts differently from Ruby and Sapphire sometimes, and their choice to fuse into her has influenced the subsequent decisions they make as her. 

They may or may not disagree with how Garnet acts sometimes–like, if you were to ask Sapphire or ask Ruby what they would have personally done when Garnet did something different, you might get some answers that are as different as Amethyst and Garnet’s answers would be from Sugilite’s. But within the context of the relationship, with the relationship actively existing, it has the power to influence how the individuals feel. They have a relationship, and then that relationship can feel and think in unprecedented ways–with some of them not being so good. Being in a relationship with an abusive person, for instance, can sometimes make the abused party accept treatment they wouldn’t outside the relationship, or might have thought they wouldn’t tolerate before the relationship was established. And sometimes it’s neutral, like what a married couple decides they want in a shared home is different from what kind of place each might buy individually.

But what’s important about this is that fusion of goals, opinions, and thoughts in human relationships isn’t necessarily a sad thing. It’s a natural thing. We all influence each other. Allowing yourself to be influenced does not mean the relationship has eclipsed your life, or that you’re in an unhealthy dependence, or that you’ve lost your individual will–you’re still part of what you’ve made together. And if you’re happy in your relationship, anyone who comes along afterwards needs to understand who it’s made you, and be accepting of it, and most of all, be willing to have a relationship with your relationship. Not just one of its parts.

Entanglement

Entanglement: (m) Namjin x Reader

Word count: 5.4k

Genre/warnings: Polyamory, smut, dirty talk

This isn’t very long because I wanted the second part to go into more detail and whatnot but enjoy :)

Parts: one | two 

Originally posted by yngissi


It was quite an interesting life you led. You were dating Kim Namjoon, a young successful writer who had his own publishing company. He was dashing and smart who treated you like a queen. People knew you had met him from your current boss Kim Seokjin. He was handsome and sexy, kind of an asshole but for some reason that worked for him. They had met in college, hating each other, competing against each other for grades, girlfriends, money, anything with an eyesight of each other. That was until one day they were assigned to be partners for a project in class. They had fought against it but surprisingly to them, they ended up liking each other. So much so that they ended up in bed together even more than that, they’ve been dating since.

Keep reading

→ Paper Doll (pt. 2)

Originally posted by jengkook

pairing → Jungkook x Reader

genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst, smut

 warning  sex, language

word count   → 4.7k

 summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

↳ alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

i | ii 

 a/n  → i haven’t even been on tumblr for a week and askdjjj I can’t believe how many people liked pt. i –  also, I know absolutely nothing about songwriting or music theory, or anything really, so this is me bullshitting my way through 4k words that i haven’t proofread



You associated every song of yours to a specific time and place.

The whimsical cluster chords that opened up Blue Afternoon made you think of the view from your window last spring. Looking down on the busy streets of Seoul from your flat, a crowding of umbrellas had danced to the sound of heavy rain, and you had been immediately struck with a melody line.

That was your favorite part of songwriting – that moment when you finally had something, after having absolutely nothing.

Ironically enough, out of all the songs on your album, you disliked Paper Doll the most.

Even before it had been propelled to the top of the music charts, the song had never been a favorite. The melody line was catchy but predictable, with the most common chord progressions and an overproduced chorus. The people reviewing your songs during the album production had all loved it, however, and they had adamantly decided to push it as a title track.

It was amusing how people presumed the song described a devastating heartbreak between you and your first love. They weren’t exactly wrong, but their interpretation was completely off. Still, you weren’t stupid enough to disapprove their theories. If they wanted to believe that your first boyfriend was a heartless playboy, then that wasn’t your problem.

At least you had never thought it would have to be a problem.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

the gay kiss in svtfoe is like 1 sec long i wish you guys would stop gaslighting people with this being good rep when the entire second season is given over to a completely unnecessary supposedly heterosexual love triangle, because they won't ever canonize marco as a girl. like seriously. pretending this is great rep has consequences, it alienates fans and it tells disney and other corporations they can throw us scraps and that they don't need to try to get our pink dollars. Stop.

Okay.

First of all, I can do whatever I want. Second of all, I can do whatever I want. And third, I can do whatever I want.

Okay? Glad we established that. With that out of the way, I’m gonna be very clear with people like you who keep telling me and other people like what we should want, need and demand. 

Star has done a lot in terms of destroying gender roles and other stereotypes and taboos for kids and young people out there. Its characters are not flat and they have their own personalities, their own lives and agency, which don’t conform to gender norms as they have been force-fed to us by society. Breaking this kind of stereotypes is gonna be so liberating for so many kids. For example:

  • You don’t have to be girly to be a girl (Janna is into a lot of creepy and icky stuff usually considered boyish, just to mention someone)
  • Being feminine doesn’t define your gender (Marco, and I’m gonna get back to you on this)
  • Having trouble managing your anger does not make you a bad person (Tom. who is working so hard to keep it under control and improve because he wants to be better)
  • You can have a bunch of mixed, apparently contradicting traits, and that doesn’t make you less worthy of the gender you identify with (Star is very girly and likes cute stuff but still kicks ass and loves every second of it)
  • Boys can be affectionate with other boys (if we assume, based on what we know at the moment, that Marco identifies as a boy, and again, I’ll get back to you on that), and that’s okay (Marco and Tom, even though I still think the whole Friendenemies episode was very homoerotic)

Originally posted by mettatonexox

I’m really grateful for this new wave of cartoons (such as Star vs The Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls or Steven Universe). Different shows are exploring different themes from different angles, and that doesn’t mean that one is necessarily above the other. Star may not be exploring queerness in full (like Steven Universe does, for example), more like touching upon its surface, but it is still playing a role in its normalisation.

Never did I say that the infamous 1-second gay kiss was good rep. For me to call it rep, I would need it to feature at least characters whose names we know. But you know what? I’m okay with it being something in the background and I don’t consider it gaslighting, because as far as I know, the show did not make a big deal out of it, they did not announce “Hey! We are giving you guys gay rep! Look at all the diversity we’re including!”. I actually heard nothing from the show-runners. It was the media that blew up and made a huge deal out of it because of some stupid parents’ reaction. The whole thing was a nice detail that acknowledged the existence of gay people and made an effort to normalise queerness by showing them doing something as mundane as going to a concert with their partners. Period.

And on that note, I want to add that yes, more than this is desirable and it’s okay (it’s very important, actually!) to ask for proper representation. But we can’t close our eyes to the stuff that’s already come our way just because it’s not as much as we wanted it to be. Things take time. Society is still coming to terms with LGBT+ people, and rushing them is only gonna make them clam up and reject any notion of it. Hell, parents wanted to take Star out of Disney XD because they were outraged by a 1-sec cartoon gay kiss! Even though I’m tired of waiting, I see that Disney is treading on thin ice with its more conservative audience and has to carefully plan its every step. And they are still making progress. Slowly, but surely.

We got Beauty and the Beast with gay LeFou (even though I still think it should have been the clock and the candelabra), despite the foreseeable boicot from many people. I’m not saying “we’re good, we can stop demanding stuff from show-runners and movie directors”, I’m saying, “let’s appreciate the progress we’re making while aiming for more”. We’ve come a long way since Disney’s massive no-homo when High School Musical gave a girlfriend to Ryan, literally the gayest man alive in the Disney Universe.

And about the “unnecessary heterosexual love triangle”: I dunno, anon, I’m a storyteller and I saw it coming for a long time. The show built up to that point. It’s not like they pulled it out of their asses. Would I have wanted it to be a love square featuring Tom? Why yes, absolutely, but oh well. It still makes sense in the story they’re telling and it’s integrated in the plot. It would have been weird if Marco, who had been crushing on Jackie since Day 1, had just moved on from her without thinking twice.

Originally posted by cosmicstimmer

Now, about Trans!Marco: I’m gonna be very honest with how I view it, and I’ll also let you know that I’m transgender myself (non-binary pal here, hey, how are ya), as well as a transgender rights activist and lecturer, so I know what I’m talking about. I have nothing against the Trans!Marco fannon, obviously. I think some seed has been planted in the show and as of now, people can make of it what they will. I’d be thrilled and on board if there were any confirmation from TPTB. But I’m not taking it as anymore than that for now, and I’ll entertain both Trans!Marco and Cis!Marco notions. Why?

Yes, Marco has been shown as Princess Marco several times already, pronouns have been changed to feminine and nobody has questioned Marco’s new status during those times. However, Marco hasn’t expressed a particular preference for being treated as a girl (true, no preference for masculine treatment has been expressed either, so we’re kind of in a neutral zone I guess?). I mean, you see Marco wearing dresses and a wig with no complain, as well as being treated as a girl, but after that episode is over, you don’t really see Marco displaying any signs of discomfort with gender identity or pronouns or disphoria or gender expression or anything like that. Actually, the character’s development continues as it was before that happened (anybody else remembers that episode where Marco lives on a different dimension for 16 years and embraces every masculinity trope under the sun?). 

Originally posted by soyalexnajera

Now I’m not saying you have to meet a bunch of requirements to be trans (I’m no trans gatekeeper), but these are the kind of things that usually give it away when we’re talking about someone else’s experience, since we are not inside their head. 

Yes, Marco does possess some traits traditionally associated with femininity (like spending hours getting ready for the date with Jackie), but they’re vague enough that they could mean something or nothing at all (like I said, the show does a lot to destroy gender roles). I feel like I can’t really call it for sure based on that. With how indifferent Marco seems to be to different pronouns, I’d actually say that there’s higher chances this character falls somewhere in the non-binary spectrum, rather than identifying as a girl. This is, of course, my personal opinion, and I might be wrong. But it goes to show that the hinting done in the show has been so subtle for now that it could go either way, and so, I fail to see why we should get angry that Marco isn’t being treated as a girl at the moment.

Just my two cents.

Prompt: Date Night!

It’s Fanfic Sunday! (Monday whoops, ran a little late because I got carried away with the writing) Prompt is Formal Event + aquarium date, suggested by an anon and the discord chat! <3 Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the read! Will try to do the other prompts next time! Read it under read more!

Keep reading

littyr-deactivated20170623  asked:

what do you think drives lady macbeth's cruelty and do you sympathise with her at all?

This post and this post might be of interest. But I think ‘cruelty’ is the wrong word. Cruelty implies violence for the sake of violence and enjoyment of violence. (See here.) Lady M doesn’t revel in the violence. She doesn’t delight in it the way some of the characters in, say, Titus Andronicus do, or even Margaret in Henry VI does after the murder of Rutland/during the murder of York. For Lady M violence is always a means to an end. “Infirm of purpose” is what she calls her husband when he starts to get faint-hearted. He’s too full of the milk of human kindness “to catch the nearest way.” For her, it’s all about the outcome. The ends justify the means. Like I said in one of those posts, I think her driving force is ambition. She wants more than what she has. 

Interestingly, she never expresses any personal desire to be queen. She does, however, use the singular possessive pronoun ‘my’ when she says “The raven himself is hoarse / That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan / Under my battlements.” She claims the crime as her own, and even though the idea of murder occurs to her and her husband independently, she is the criminal mastermind. She says,you shall put / This night’s great business into my dispatch; / Which shall to all our nights and days to come / Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.” And at the end of the scene: “Leave all the rest to me.” This regicide is her baby–and I use that word very deliberately. There are a million possible explanations for why Lady Macbeth is so desperate to seize this power for her husband. My guess is it has something to do with that baby she mentions in 1.7 which doesn’t appear in the play. A woman’s function at this point in history was basically to be a baby-making machine and ensure the survival of her husband’s line. She hasn’t been able to do that (for whatever reason) and her husband, at least, is already middle-aged, so that procreation window is rapidly closing, if it’s not closed already. By early modern standards, that’s a huge dynastic failure. My guess is that her power-grabbing is about agency and compensation. Maybe she can’t continue Macbeth’s line, but she can make him king. And she does

But here’s the other part of it which I think is really important and often gets overlooked, and it goes back to the fact that Lady M never expresses a personal desire to be queen. She wants her husband to be king, and she thinks he is fully deserving of that office. “Thou wouldst be great;” she says, “Art not without ambition, but without / The illness should attend it.” AND THIS IS SO KEY. Because Lady M is nothing if not full of ambition. What she’s saying here is “You don’t have enough darkness in your soul to do this, so I’m going to do it for you.” Now. Is that somewhat fucked up? Absolutely. However, that is an enormous sacrifice to make. I’m not going to get into this in depth, but there’s a lot of natural law theory floating around in this play. What’s important to know is this: In the protestant ethos of this play, if you commit regicide, you are 100% going to be damned for eternity. There’s no doubt about that. So, in an insane backwards way, this is actually an incredibly loving, selfless thing to do on Lady M’s part. She is willing to sacrifice her own salvation to make her husband king. Let that sink in. That is so much more hardcore than just saying, “I’d take a bullet for you, babe.” She is willing to burn for all time to put him on the throne, and not only is she willing, but it’s her idea, not just something she does with her back against the wall. That is a crazy kind of love. And that’s one of my favorite things about this play. This is not a unanimous opinion by any means, but I firmly believe that even though the Macbeths are terrible tyrannical people, they are desperately, devotedly in love with one another. Their language is incredibly intimate. In his first letter Macbeth addresses his wife as “My dearest partner of greatness,” and throughout the play they are constantly struggling to help and heal one another. Theirs is a relationship built on love and equality, whatever else they do (and however their relationship is also sometimes toxic and fractures through the play). Look at Macbeth’s conversation with the doctor in 5.3 when his wife’s health begins to fail: “ If thou couldst, doctor, cast / The water of my land, find her disease, / And purge it to a sound and pristine health, / I would applaud thee to the very echo, / That should applaud again.” That. Is. Love.

So. Why does Lady Macbeth do the terrible things she does? There’s no certain answer. Ambition has a lot to do with it. But I think that ambition is rooted in guilt about what she hasn’t been able to provide her husband with, and a passionate yearning to make up for that, somehow. Leo’s character says in Inception that positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time, and I think that’s true here. Lady M doesn’t orchestrate Duncan’s murder because she’s inherently cruel. She does it for love.

Another Chance

Summary: The reader ends up on a double date with Dean. Will they have a good time or will they drive themselves and everyone else crazy?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,979


“I can’t do this. I’m leaving your ass here. Call me when you need to be picked up!” You declare strongly, ignoring the sheer panic flashing across your best friend’s pretty features.

“Don’t you dare. Let’s go!” Jenny huffs theatrically, grabbing a hold of your bicep and refusing to set you free.

“I did not agree to this.” You whine dramatically making your best friend suddenly shoot daggers at you.

“You agreed to go on this double date! Come on, Y/N. This is my first date with Sam and I’m really nervous. I need a buffer.”

“I figured my date would be someone I actually like. Sam has so many cute friends and he picked his god damn brother. What the fuck?”

Keep reading