PSA the reason the Phantomettes are so beautiful is because they only take girls with a certain body type who can dance. I know a girl who auditioned there and literally was told “You’re amazingly talented and you could march anywhere in DCI, but we don’t want you.” So think about that the next time you rave about how much you love Phantom Regiment and their guard.
To all of my followers: Thank you. This is my story.
I started a blog on tumblr 2 years ago because I needed another reason to procrastinate studying for finals. I had no idea it was going to turn into an inspirational blog. I had no idea I was going to become an inspiration.
The guy I was dating went on tour with the Phantom Regiment a few months after I started my blog in 2012. I missed him so much that I would post pictures of him with the Regiment during that summer. The Summer of Turandot. The summer we fell in love. He told me he wanted to marry me. He told his corps members that I was his pre-fiancé. He said he was going to propose as soon as he got home (that is if they ever had free time to get a ring.) Days would pass on and every one of those days we would fall more and more in love. Little did I know, I was falling in love with Turandot too. I knew every visual. I knew every big guard moment. I knew every hair flip. I knew every ending pose. I became obsessed. I started adding action shots of the Phantomettes and hornline alongside the pictures of my boyfriend to my blog.
I didn’t blog much during the summer of 2013. He didn’t march Triumphant Journey so he could focus on school. I went to one show and that’s it. I wasn’t too much involved with that drum corps season and at the time I felt like my boyfriend was annoyed that I tried to be.
My heart hurt a little bit more when the summer of Turandot ended. Not only because that summer was magical and it was over, but because my boyfriend changed. We started fighting more and more and his feelings about me weren’t the same. I didn’t know that until he dumped me last October, a week and a half before my birthday. That’s a year and a half after he came home from tour in 2012. Do you know what that’s like? To be lied to for a year and a half? Thinking that this person was the one. Thinking that this person felt the same way about me for 2 years. No, he fell out of love with me when he got home from tour but stayed with me for another year and a half. To get over it, I started instructing and I fell in love with guard again. I couldn’t wait for the summer.
The summer of Swan Lake changed everything. We stayed friends after we broke up. Actually, we were best friends. Instead of having this crazy connection with him on tour, a stronger connection with other members of Phantom developed. I was no longer cheering for just him. I was cheering for rookies like Emily and Keegan and ageouts like Greg and vets like Genevieve. When I finally went to my first show this season, I felt like my new friends were more excited to see me than my own best friend. It hurt a lot, but I didn’t let it get me down. I had other friends to support and cheer on, so that’s what I did.
I can’t march drum corps because I physically can’t. Most of you know that I sprained both my ankles more than once, therefore making it difficult to dance, but that’s not the whole reason. I have an underdevelopment in my brain. Oxygen gets cut off to parts of my body. I’ll either have extreme shakes, numbness, pain or all of the above in my arms and legs. Having this makes it impossible to spin again. I could be bitter, but I’m not. I lived my dreams through my best friend and other members of the Phantom regiment. I am more than grateful.
Unfortunately, my best friend/ex boyfriend are no longer apart of each other’s lives. It took me 11 years to realize that I deserve someone in my life who supports me just as much I support them. And I very damn well busted my ass supporting him on tour. No more being taken advantage of. No more being taken for granted. When I cut off my friendship, I wanted to delete my blog because it hurt to see him with Phantom all over my dash. Phantom reminded me of him.
Then I realized how many people love my blog, how many people are inspired by my blog and by me. Then I realized that I need to be here for all of you, just like you’ve been there for me. Just because I lost him in my life, doesn’t mean you have to lose me. You all have supported me through my journey more than he has. You’re the kind of people I deserve. You are my inspirations. Thank you, from the bottom of me heart.