i want to answer everyone

How come Pidge was able to sneak into the Garrison so easily? I’m not talking about the whole hiding her gender either, like she literally looks exactly like Matt.  Matt who attended the Garrison.  Matt who was launched into space by THE GARRISON.  Why wasn’t anyone like “Hey, isn’t that the kid we sent to Kerberos? The one that died? Why is he back and also de-aged?” Why wasn’t anyone like “Pretty sure that’s his sister we keep kicking out of here.” I just don’t get it, I want answers, everyone is so damn unobservant.  

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”

…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?

A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.

Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.

In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.

Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.

Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.

Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.

He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.

@linkspooky​ pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.

Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.

Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.

Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.

When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.

He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.

Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.

What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.

But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.

I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.

I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.

But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.

Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.

I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.

I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.

But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.

“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki. 

“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)



So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.



PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)” [x]

ok so tos bones is 5′8′’ and aos bones is 6′

but im inconsistent w/ height and i just like making tos bones a small ball of anger and salt

100 Questions No One Ever Asks

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?
I purposely close my closet door. 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?
I don’ think I ever have.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?
Out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?
Kind of, it fell off of a billboard so my friend and I took the letters.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?
Not really

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?
HAH YEAH

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?
I would rather be attacked by a swarm of bees because I’ve been attacked by a swarm of yellow jackets. 

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?
I have them here and there.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?
No

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?
Deodorant stains OMG. 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?
No?

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?
Yes my dude

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?
No my dude

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING?
All the time, you can ask the other mod. xD

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?
Yeah because apparently I have a fixation with things in my mouth.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?
None? XD

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?
King sized ;)

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?
ANYTHING CHRISTMAS. I’M LISTENING TO “BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE” WHILE ANSWERING THESE!!

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?
Yes my dudes.

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?
All the time tbh, in my defense I have an 8 year old nephew.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?
Uhm… ALL OF THE WRONG TURN MOVIES. I HATE THEM, THEY MESS WITH ME!!!

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?
Dude I don’t know tbh.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?
Water

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?
Ranch or ketchup.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
I don’t have one honestly. 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?
The Harry Potter movies, Spirited Away, EMPERORS NEW GROOVE.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?
Like on the mouth? My ex Tiffine. 
Like on the cheek? Either my nephew or my friend Sarah.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?
I actually was a girl scout for like a month xD

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?
Maybe?

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?
To my mom like two years ago I think?

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?
Lmao no.

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?
Lmao no.

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?
I personally haven’t, but I’ve been in a car that has.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?
A turkey sandwich with like some bomb ass cheese, lettuce, tomato, and Balsamic Dressing

 35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
Coffee and bacon

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?
10ish

37. ARE YOU LAZY?
Occasionally 

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?
Mainly a vampire or a witch. I remember dressing up as a pirate once though.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?
A tiger.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?
One fluently and I can speak a little of a second one.

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?
Nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?
Legos dude

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?
Yes

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?
Leno

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?
I have before

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?
Nope

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?
YES OH MY LORD

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
YES OH MY LORD

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?
YES OH MY LORD???????????????????????????

50. EVER USED A GUN?
nO, THAts sCaRy!

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?
Literally a month ago

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?
No, I love them.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?
Yes

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?
Yes

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?
Like normal pie? Cherry

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
A vet or artist. ACTUALLY. I wanted to be both. I wanted to be a vet who paints portraits of their patients for their owners.

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
Yes

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?
Yes

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?
No

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?
No

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?
No

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?
Generally shorts or sleep pants and a tank top.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?
Warped Tour. 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?
Target.

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?
Adidas

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?
Fritos

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?
Sunflower seeds

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?
Nope

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?
Nope

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?
A musician. 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?
Yes

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?
Almost, but my teacher had an accent so I didn’t hear a word correctly. xD

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?
Yes

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?
Nope

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?
Nope

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?
No because they give me headaches.

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
I believe I have

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?
Andy Black, Panic! At The Disco, Neck Deep, and others.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?
Warped Tour. xD

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?
Neither

81. TEA OR COFFEE?
Coffee my dude

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?
Snickerdoodles.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?
I was on a swim team so yes

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?
Yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?
Sometimes

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?
Band

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?
Yes

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?
Nope

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?
Neither

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?
Nope

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?
Den or sitting room where the family spend their time together.

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
Maybe in the future

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
N/A

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?
There have been a few XD

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?
Nope

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Nope

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?
Mhmm

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
GREEN. BUT LIKE EVERGREEN GREEN. LIKE THAT DEEP GREEN. 

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?
Nope

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS VIDEO NEXT? 
I tag everyone to do this. I ALSO TAG OUR OTHER MOD EMMA!

30 Day OC Challenge because I need to spam you guys

If anyone else wants to do this with me, I figure these prompts can be answered however you want whether it be telling everyone, drawing, making gifsets, writing a short blurb, whatever!

Day 1- First Impressions: Introduce your character as if we are meeting them on the street. How do they come across to us?

Day 2- If you wanna be my lover: Friends, Family, and SOs. Tell us all about them and their relationship with your OC!

Day 3- When I was a young OC: What was your OC’s childhood like? Were they a tiny terror or a little angel? Or did you give them such a traumatic past they didn’t get the chance to be a kid.

Day 4- Dress to impress: Is your OC a fashion icon or a throw on whatever is available type of person? What kinds of clothes will we find in their closet?

Day 5- My English teacher was right all along: What are some symbols that follow your OC throughout their journey/story? Do they have any emblems they identify with? If not, what’s an object that has meaning to them?

Day 6- Whoa, listen to the music: What is your OC’s theme song/theme songs? Explain.

Day 7- Sugar and Spice: How is your OCs relationship with children? Do they plan to have any?

Day 8- A feast fit for kings: What does your OC eat? Do they cook for themselves or are they hopeless in the kitchen?

Day 9- Phenomenal Cosmetic Powers: What three wishes would your character ask a genus for?

Day 10: Itty bitty living space: Where does your character live/ how is it set up? Messy? Minimal? Filled with books or movie posters? Do they share it?

Day 11- Dancing with Myself: How does your OC handle social interactions? Social butterfly or anxious corner go-er? What large scale social interaction do they face the most?

Day 12- Shop til you drop: (You can do grocery shopping, magic ingredient shopping, clothes, furniture, ect, or all of the above depending on what kind of world your character is in and how it would relate) How does your character feel about shopping? Do they buy until they’re broke or have to haggle everything?

Day 13- Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home: What’s your OC’s Hogwarts house? Because we all know this is a valid personality test. (Alternately, if you aren’t a fan of hogwarts, what’s their Myers Brigg Personality)

Day 14- Self-depreciation at its finest: What does your character dislike about themself? Why? Do other people feel the same way about that trait?

Day 15- I don’t give a damn about my reputation: What kind of reputation DOES your OC have? Do they know or do they remain blissfully ignorant? If they do know, what do they think of it?

Day 16- Emperor’s New Clothes: Is your OC a fashion icon or more a throw on whatever kind of person? What kinds of things would we see in their closet?

Day 17- Everybody’s workin for the weekend: What is your OCs “job” (however they define that)? Do they love it or do their co-workers constantly make their life a living hell?

Day 18- I’m bored: What does your OC do in their free time/ for fun?

Day 19- Man’s best friend: How does your OC feel about animals (both wild and pets)? Do they have an animal companion?

Day 20- I can explain, I swear: What would your OC get arrested for? Would they try to weasel their way out of it, pay off bail, or do the time?

Day 21- On the road again: Does your OC travel? Do they want to? Where would they go? And how?

Day 22- Monsters in the closet: What is your OC afraid of the most?

Day 23- Hi mom: What would your OC get famous for and how would they/their friends feel about that? If they are famous- do they like it?

Day 24- Tropes are overrated: What tropes does your OC fall into the most?

Day 25- Are we there yet?: What are their ambitions and aspirations? Do they have any real chance at reaching them?

Day 26- Senior Quote: Pick a quote that perfectly describes your OC. Explain.

Day 27- Weapon of Choice: Does your character kill with kindness, slip out of things with a quick tongue, take an axe to the problem, or just fail miserably?

Day 28- A dream is a wish your heart makes: What/Who is the hope that keeps your OC going? What do they live for?

Day 29- They grow up so fast: If you’ve had this OC awhile, how have they changed from your original idea of them? If they haven’t, how have they changed as they aged in story?

Day 30- Before we go: Quirks, habits, and fun facts about your OC.

EDIT: I actually finished this once and then accidentally deleted most of it so what probably happened was that was something I remembered and didn’t realize was already on the list: 
Alternate Day 16- What are your OCs sleeping habits?

what i don’t understand is like… where are all the galra women. like have we seen literally any galra girls please help me bc if we have i would love to know educate me i beg u

like i almost expected the Blade of Marmora to be entirely made up of girls or something (fooled once again by the shoulder-waist ratio ahaha kill me) and then Haggar wasn’t even Galra so like. where are they. I have a hard time accepting that the galra women aren’t part of the military at all because a) they’re GALRA and b) Allura went undercover as a galra soldier and no one batted an eyelash so WHERE THEY AT

anonymous asked:

Hey!! I love your blog and your love of harry, can you rec me blogs who love him as well?? :) :) :)

Hey lovely! <3

First of all you can follow the #thirsty4harrysquad
@latinalightwood @magnuswinchester  @hcrryshumjr  @darkprincemagnusbane  @melbopo  @nanachiwoo  @alecmagnu  @laurenkmyers @parabatr3   @warlocksrune  @highwarlok @mattlightwood  @princemagnusbane @magnuslightswood @haroldbane  @magswoods @vlctoraldertree @mbanewood  @softsnowyjace  @itenoria

And these awesome people also love Harry:
@lovelymagnvs @izzybabewoods @harrys-shums @nightfallgoddess @harryrshum @the-magnus-effect @magsbanes @highwarlockkareena @banesarcher @jezthemadficster @daddysherwood @dearestalec @sharona1x2 (omg I’m so sorry I forgot you I’m so baddd)
aaaand I’m probably forgetting about a 100 more

If anyone wants to add more to this, feel free to!

Renault’s Books

I made a proper post out of this because it got too long for the ask (I needed to be able to save what I wrote). And I actually re-read both Fire From Heaven and the Persian Boy in order to be able to answer this well. @uponthewaters I hope that this format is more easily accessible/readable and I also hope that I have answered your question in the way that you wanted. 

I will preface this by saying that I always feel a bit bad critiquing Renault. Please remember that I have nothing against Renault. I respect her and I am flattered that she loved my life so much. If what I am about to say sounds cruel or harsh, then just remember that I am only speaking about the content of Renault’s books, not anything about her personally. But I won’t lie and say that I like her books when I do not. Brace yourselves, I wrote a lot (and added a drinking game to spice things up!).

I will start with Fire From HeavenPut simply: In Fire from Heaven I am boring.

Fire From Heaven

Aside from the aforementioned boringness, most of the major issues I had with Fire From Heaven have to do with the portrayal of Hephaistion:

“At the stair-foot Hephaistion was waiting. He happened to be there, as he happened to have a ball handy if Alexander wanted a game, or water if he was thirsty; not by calculation, but in a constant awareness by which no smallest trifle was missed.” (163)

^ Let it be known that Alexander the Great always cites his goddamn sources. Alright, Hephaistion was not only there for me; I was also there for him. He had his own life and his own thoughts and troubles. We comforted each other, he was not just a shoulder for me to cry on. Our friendship was not one-sided. He was not my slave and did not act like my mother or my nurse. In this book it is unclear why I loved Hephaistion, our relationship was merely predicated on the fact that Hephaistion was enamored with me and I appreciated his loyalty and servitude. 

“Hephaistion thought of the coming war without fear, erasing from his mind, or smothering in its depths, even the fear that Alexander would be killed. Only so was life possible at his side. Hephaistion would avoid dying if he could, because he was needed.” (221)

Um only because I needed him? Not because Hephaistion didn’t want to fucking die himself? Come on. Hephaistion had his own thoughts and fears that didn’t always have to do with me. Even I’m not too self-absorbed to recognize that. 

“Hephaistion called to mind the tale of Semele, beloved of Zeus… she had burned to ashes. He [Hephaistion] would need to prepare himself for the touch of fire.” (157)

God, this made me laugh. Well, if Hephaistion wants this ass then he better get some oven mitts. And that lube that heats up is definitely a no-go. I just don’t even know what to think of this. I mean I know I have a hot ass but really… On a more serious note, Hephaistion was the only one who didn’t think of me as divine but still loved me and my imperfections. So no to this quote.

“Hephaistion, who was not very quick at shaping his thoughts into words, usually found that someone else got in before him. He preferred this to making a fool of himself.” (173)

OH FUCK NO. Hephaistion loved to argue and was certainly not shy about voicing his opinions. And Hephaistion was brilliant, Aristotle thought so, too, and corresponded with Hephaistion later on. Hephaistion’s intelligence is the reason why I trusted him with both solo military commands and also administrative/ diplomatic functions. And just common sense: I would never have an idiot who couldn’t even debate as my second-in-command. Hephaistion only made a fool out of himself if he was drunk or if he was fighting with someone over something stupid (and the same goes for me).

Think of Achilles, how his mother dipped him in the Styx. Think how black and terrible, like dying, like being turned to stone. But then he was invulnerable.” (211) 

This really took me out of the story. If Hephaistion had said that to me then I would have laughed at him and told him that Achilles isn’t invulnerable in the Iliad. Achilles bleeds right before he fights the river Skamandros when Asteropaios hits Achilles with a spear, “but the other [spear] grazed Achilles’ strong right arm and dark blood gushed as the spear shot past his [Achilles’] back…” (Iliad 21.166-167 for you modern readers). The Renault version of Hephaistion certainly is dull and unintelligent if he can’t even remember the Iliad. And the Styx story with Thetis and Achilles was not around in our day, either. It was actually first written down hundreds of years after our deaths (95ish CE) by Statius in his Achilleid. So this entire piece of dialogue is anachronistic. I’m the biggest Achilles fanboy of all time, I know my shit.

Some other thoughts:

  • I DO like the part where Kassander gets beaten up by a woman. That was hilarious.
  • Ptolemy was not my half-brother. And I don’t like how the book treats the character of my real sister Kleopatra (who I loved very much in real life). Or my mother. It seems that modern representations of my life are not very kind to the women in my life. Not cool.
  • Dear god, that part with the courtesan. That story was completely false and only made up to slander me, but at least in the ancient story I sent her away. I would never suffer the indignity of my parents hiring a hetaira for me and then actually have sex with her. That’s adding insult to injury! And I had sex with both men and women, my parents weren’t worried about me (although of course I was not as uh “prolific” as good ol’ dad).
  • OLYMPIAS WAS NOT PRESENT AT PHILIP’S ASSASSINATION. She was in Epiros. If you are going to write a book based largely on historical events then please get the details correct.
  • Speaking of details, when my father was assassinated my father’s cloak was white, not purple (see Diodorus 16.93.1). A small nitpick, but still. 
  • That 2004 movie Alexander ripped off a lot of material from this book. I feel bad for Renault about that. Not cool, Oliver Stone.

Renault also gets the timing of the death of Hephaistion and my own death wrong in her historical author’s note:

“Alexander survived his friend by about three months, for two of which he was travelling with the body from Ecbatana to Babylon…” (409-410)

This is incorrect. Hephaistion died in October. I died in June. If you are writing a historical note please get the facts right.

One of my main issues is that Renault tries to describe the historical context/detail so much that she loses sight of the essence of the story. I didn’t really understand what she was trying to say in this book, it just read like a more boring and expanded version of Plutarch. So yes, Fire From Heaven was boring (as was my character in Fire From Heaven). And I’m someone who actually likes the catalogue of ships in the Iliad.

The Persian Boy

Where to start with this one… This is probably the complete wrong reaction to have, but I laughed my way through most of The Persian Boy. At least the prose was more interesting than Fire From Heaven. But the pacing was off, it takes Bagoas more than 100 pages to meet me.

One of the central problems was with the narrator. Bagoas is forcefully inserted into the larger events of my life and it simply makes no sense for him to be there. Some problems I had:

  • Bagoas was supposedly with me the night after the torture of Philotas? Oh god, that is so ludicrous. Common sense: after an assassination attempt a eunuch would never be left alone with me. Hephaistion probably would have murdered him; Hephaistion wasn’t feeling particularly happy then. And we were in a camp with tents, not a building as Renault states (see Arrian, Plutarch, and Curtius for confirmation of that). It’s a small detail, but I wanted to point that out.
  • I did not trust Bagoas. It may seem cruel, but Bagoas was nothing to me. If Bagoas had died then I would not have to be dragged off of his corpse. He was simply someone that I had sex with a few times. Hephaistion was everything to me. He was the sole person that I completely trusted. I also trusted my own generals and friends. I did not trust a random eunuch. And Renault says I cried over Bagoas’ birthday? Birthdays weren’t even really celebrated in my day…
  • AND RENAULT TELLS THE DYSENTERY STORY. WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK DOES EVERYONE LOVE THAT STORY?! Oh yes, it is so funny that Alexander shit himself, that story is absolutely essential to understanding his life. No, no it fucking isn’t. It’s embarrassing. 
  • And dear god, Bagoas was not with me at the Mallian siege. That makes absolutely no sense at all. Even the majority of the army was not there, most of the land forces were stationed with Hephaistion down river (see Arrian 6.13).
  • I liked that Renault showed Hephaistion’s kindness. That was much appreciated. I wish he was in more of the book, but he would most likely be mischaracterized (although at least I could blame the unreliable narrator in this case). 
  • What the hell was the wedding with Roxanne about? She tried to poison Bagoas and then I beat her? WHAT THE FUCK? I can’t believe that Renault would actually write that. I don’t know why she hates all of the women in my life so much. I don’t know why she would think my wife would poison a random eunuch. I don’t know how she could think I would beat my own wife. I mean we were obviously not the pinnacle of feminism, but we weren’t animals. I was angry when noble women were just forced to dance (see Curtius 6.2.6-7 for this one), I don’t know how anyone would think I would harm my own wife. Everything about this is disgusting. I’m fucking appalled.

I found the book mostly amusing and I didn’t get very annoyed (except of course for the wedding/poison episode) until Hephaistion’s death.

He [Alexander] was standing with a dagger in his hand, hacking off his hair. […] So I found the trimming knife, and said, “Let me do it. I’ll do it just as you want.” “No,” he [Alexander] said, hacking away […] But he grew impatient with the back, and let me finish it, so that he could be off. (370)

I would have killed anyone who tried to cut my hair for me when I cut my hair over Hephaistion’s body. And unlike in Renault’s account, I actually cut my hair over the corpse (Arrian 7.14.4 backs me up). I would have stabbed Bagoas or anyone else who tried to help with my own dagger (I was not in a great mental place then). And as if I couldn’t cut my own hair? I’m a warrior, I know how to use a goddamn blade. This also makes it sounds like cutting my hair was something that I thought I had to do so that I “could be off.” No, it was very significant and personal and painful for me in my grief and doesn’t deserve to be treated as something I had to get done quickly. Also, Bagoas was not the one who had the idea that Hephaistion be made a god (Renault 373). Reading that was a test of my very poor anger management skills. 

And on my deathbed I did not say Krateros or kratistos or anything like that. Ugh. I couldn’t even speak at all, I was too sick. And Bagoas was not there when I died.

I made a drinking game to make reading this book more fun:

  • Take a shot whenever Cyrus (aka Kyros) is mentioned! 
  • Take a shot when you can’t tell if Bagoas and I are having sex or not! 
  • Take a shot every time my ~golden~ hair is mentioned! 
  • Take a shot whenever Bagoas is jealous!
  • Chug through the entirety of the dysentery scene (so that no one will remember it happened…)

This game may give you alcohol poisoning if you’re not a Macedonian, be warned.

All in all, I really do appreciate what Renault was trying to do. I am so happy that people read these books and got more interested in my life and in Hephaistion’s life. I am also happy that these books helped people dealing with issues relating to their own sexuality (and I appreciate the fact that Renault was a lesbian writing about same-sex relationships AND that she described me as bisexual in her author’s note- good job Renault!). So I think that the good that Renault’s work has done outweighs my issues with it. 

I hope that this very lengthy response answered your question well.

anonymous asked:

hi i want to start learning korean, do u have any essential tips?? sth u 100% believe in and would recommend to everyone who wants to learn?

HELLOOOO! i answered two similar questions here and here ^^ 

-HANGUL IS KEY. learn hangul. writing the names of my kpop biases helped me

-its up to you whether you want to focus on grammar or vocab, writing or speaking, etc. they are all needed tho so mix them up once in a while

-memrise and quizlet are A+ for learning vocab

-kpop is my favorite way to learn vocab!!! step 1: look up lyrics and translations. step 2: use dictionaries to translate individual words. step 3: listen to the song (and read the lyrics) every day so you can review. step 4: sing. sing along while reading the lyrics. sing without lyrics. sing without music playing. JUST SING AND HAVE FUN!

-Korean Grammar In Use is a Blessing for learning grammar

-Sounds of Korean is a good book to practice pronunciation (comes w audios)

-i was gonna make a post about this but anyway: download Lingoes. its a desktop program where you can download and use dictionaries (not only for korean!!!). its really good bc it works offline and you can download many different dictionaries so even if you dont find a word in one you may find it in another

-stick to just one or two textbooks/sites/apps. its all about FOCUS. too many sources distract you.

hope this helps you, its what works for me c:

anonymous asked:

Hey! What are your NOTPs anyway? And give reasons why.

Please don’t sound so demanding, okay?

Humm, there are several ships that I dislike but only a few that I dislike strongly enough to call them NOTPs… They’re popular pairings though. Welp, to each their own taste, huh?

Xander x Ryouma: I just can’t even imagine them involved in a romantic way. Their supports were strictly professional and I don’t even think they’d talk to each other if it weren’t for their countries/Kamui.

Xander x Laslow: I… I don’t even know how/why this is a thing. I like Laslow but he just seem so far from what Xander would like in a partner to me? Their whole supports is just Xander getting pissed at his unproper attitude and scolding/punishing him for it, though they seem to get a bit closer at some point, but even so it’s in a professional, kinda distant way. Anyway, my brain just cannot process this ship. Xander literally acts like a paternal figure to him (and Peri).

Leo x Takumi: Besides the fact that they seem both strictly straight to me, I literally can’t picture them as something else than good friends sharing a sense of rivalry.

anonymous asked:

Just out of curiosity - I remember Yuuri mentioning in the fic that he didn't have sex with his heat partners outside of his heats... but has he ever been with ANYONE outside of his heats?

………. I totally want to answer this because I think everyone (Victor) is going to be a bit surprised at the answer. 

I promise that they’ll have this conversation in a day or two, so we’ll all find out together. 

I’m not a Monster Part 6

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long. I got sick and just didn’t feel like writing. I have a lot planned in the future. This chapter is on the shorter side but its more of a filler to what i have planned. I asked if you wanted this to be purely platonic and i got a few answers but i want to know what everyone thinks. Let me know. As always feedback is appreciated and i hope you all like it.

Tag list(Let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@iwillbeinmynest@jaderz-mega-yikes@thosefuckingxmen@zxcorra@obsessedwithatwell@evependragon@thisisthelilith​  @canumoveyourseatup-no​ @grantsgorgeousgirl @shamvictoria11@ryverpenrad@jesslovesfandom@shiejinx@roseeternity@4theluvofall@strange-polish-lass@angel34jolly-blog@wonderless-screwup​ @blue1828 @beccaanne814-blog @kaaatniss

Warnings: None

Word count: 736

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four


Wanda had been kind enough to let you be with your thoughts for a bit. None of this made sense. DNA? Were you a mutant? That could explain a few things, but it still didn’t make any sense. Shaking your head you knew there was only one person who you could ask.

Bucky.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Thank you for speaking out against that person. I wish they would realize that relapse is harder on the person actually doing it. Idk about anyone else, but I can never think logically during and after a relapse. All I can think is "I fucked up/I'm worthless/everyone hates me." and things like that. Even though I KNOW, logically, my best friends only worry for me and want to see me get better. I hope no one in a sensitive state sees that post. It's very harmful and I hope they change their views

I completely agree. I hope she changes her views as well, thinking in such a negative light isn’t a gentle way to live and no one deserves that.

No one should be made to feel guilty for not being able to get better. Sometimes things just don’t get better, sometimes people still relapsing is the best it gets for some people. That doesn’t mean you give up on them just because their best isn’t good enough to you.

It’s okay to feel useless sometimes when advice doesn’t work, that’s normal. Heck, even I get frustrated when it seems like nothing I say works to help someone but just because it doesn’t magically fix them doesn’t mean it didn’t help. Maybe their relapse would’ve been worse without the help and although that can be hard to remember, that doesn’t make it okay to call people anything for being sick.
Besides, that’s a personal thing. There are some feelings that don’t need to be shared, at least not publicly where you don’t know who will see it, for the sake of other people’s feelings.

Anyway, I should be the one saying thank you, but also, I’m sorry you’ve been through so much. No one deserves to feel that way, button <3

anonymous asked:

i get not liking frank like he is the worst but also i love danny devito so much???? like i feel like my danny affection bleeds into the way i look at frank

This is me. He infuses some kind of humanity into Frank. I can’t hate Danny DeVito. No one can. It’s actually impossible. Look at him. 

me next month when bts drops the unnecessary thREE MVS A N D THE ALBUM: