i want this tattooed on my everywhere

A bit older Tadashi, yes? Piercings, tattoo’s and longer hair? Yes!

- So, au where Tsukishima is a photographer (or study to become one) and Yamaguchi is an art student? And Tsukishima wants him to be his model and Tadashi says no because he’s insecure about his looks and his freckles, but they starts to hang out after that and after a while Tadashi say okay to being Kei’s model.- 

Phone Number? [Shin Wonho] M


2.8k words


~ Mature

~ Daddy kink (slight)

It all started late at night. You had just lost your job to the boss’s daughter and your best friend to his girlfriend, so you stopped by a bar to lose yourself. You decided you deserved to be treated though, so you went to the most expensive bar in Gangnam, with topshelf liquor. You weren’t entirely sure if even Patrón was going to be enough for you tonight. You could handle losing your job, but Kihyun had been your life for years. Your feelings for him slowly built until they were shattered by his girlfriend two years ago. You vowed to never let him know about your feelings because of how happy he was with her. It was so beautiful to see him smiling all the time, even if it wasn’t because of you.

You found yourself walking into the classy building, surprisingly vacant of customers. The bar had comfy looking chairs lining it, and the tables surrounding the area had chairs made of mahogany. The entire place had a sexy aura to it, arousing an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You sat yourself at the bar and let your hair down, eliciting a glance from the previously busy bartender.

“Can I get a pineapple cocktail, two shots of Silver Patrón?” You asked the him and he nodded his head.

“That’s a lot of Patrón for a little lady like you, something bad happen?” His lips formed ugly little words in a beautiful way. You noticed, upon studying him a bit, that he looked simply delectable. His broad shoulders had his black button-up pulled taut, and it seemed as though his arms were going to burst out of the rolled up sleeves any minute. He sported black hair with subtle blue highlights, and it was slicked back in a way that made me want to run my hands through it and mess it up.

“Heh, you okay ma’am?” His lips pulled into a knowing smirk, “You’re about to start drooling.”

“Huh?” I snapped out of my trance and something came over me, a feeling of pure desire. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine, I just don’t run into bartenders this sexy very often,” I said as my voice became as sultry as ever.

“Well today’s your lucky day then, I’m here all night,” He said with an indistinguishable look in his eyes.

His smirk was playing games with your sanity, making you think things you hadn’t had time to think of before. There was something wild about him. Something more than a man who cleaned glasses and made drinks for a living.

“I guess I came to the right place then, Lord knows I need something good today.”

“Oh, well back to my previous question, something wrong?” He handed you your drink with a coaster under it and leaned on the bar in front of you, bringing him to eye level.

You thought about your day and decided to tell him what happened, why the hell not?

“Eh, it’s really nothing much, but I lost my job to the boss’s daughter,” you sipped on your cocktail and relished in the burning of the tequila on your throat before continuing, “and my best friend was given an ultimatum by his girlfriend to choose between us. He chose her.”

“Tough luck,” his features showed sympathy, “but at least you’ve got the sexiest bartender in Korea to listen to you.”

“Hah!” You chuckled, “I guess you’re right.”

When he heard your response he stood straight up with his brows furrowed, “You guess? Have you seen me?”

Devious little thoughts crossed your mind, little things to say to him, but you chose the one that would give you the most benefit.

“Well of course I have, but there are improvements that could be made,” You said while biting your lip.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” He leaned in closer to you and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

“Well, you look like a bit of a prude with your shirt buttoned all the way up,” You took your hand to his collar and started playing with the buttons, “maybe if you did this it would look a little better?” You said as your fingers undid the first button on his shirt. “Hm, one or two more maybe?” Your fingers were working on their own now, undoing the next two buttons to reveal a peek of his chest.

“Well, I’m sure you’re right, I must look even sexier like this.” His low voice seemed to turn a little bit husky as your hand brushed his chest on its way down to the table top.

The flirting seemed to continue forever and you had consumed three drinks by the time the bar was supposed to be closing.

“Hey, mind if I ask your name, bartender?” Your mind was fuzzy but your speech wasn’t slurred yet and you felt fine to stand and lean over the bar.

“It’s Hoseok, you?” He leaned close to you and you just wanted to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him even closer until your lips were crashing into each other.

“I’m Y/N, and I’m also drunk and need a ride home. Are you willing?” You let your hand rest on his bicep and traced ghost circles.

The look that crossed his face could only be described as hunger, and something inside you loved that you had evoked it.

“Yeah, I can give you a ride home, as long as you give me your number,” He bit his lip and stood up.

“Deal, give me a pen and a napkin,” You felt yourself getting excited for the rest of the night, even though there were no plans you had a feeling something would happen.

Hoseok turned around to grab a pen, but the alcohol hit you all at once and you felt your vision blurring and knees buckling, until everything suddenly went black. So much for letting loose tonight.


When you came to, you found yourself in bed with ten pillows and a blanket wrapped firmly around you. You sat up and realized it was a bad idea once the sun’s rays hit your eyes from the window.

“I don’t remember having that window… What happened to my house?” You thought to yourself with squinted eyes as you rose out of bed to find your clothes on the floor next to the nightstand. Panic overwhelmed you and you looked down at yourself to find you still had your underwear on at least.

Your eyes, more alert now, scanned the room, looking for clues. There was nothing until you saw a lump in the bed next to where you were sleeping.

“My mother… she would be so disappointed in me…” You thought as you hit your head.

Your thoughts jumbled into one big mess and you crawled onto the bed to peek under the covers at the lump. You saw a head of beautifully messy black hair, followed by a toned back and a nice ass in black boxers.

“Oh my God!” You shouted and fell off the bed with a huge thud that hurt your tailbone.

The man jumped out of bed with the laziest look of fear on his face, “Huh? Oh shit, are you okay?”

“I, uh, I don’t know. Most prominently my ass hurts, followed by my head, but that’s not the point!” You searched your head for memories from yesterday and remembered a few things. Things like being thrown away by work, your best friend, and then going to the bar and meeting one sexy bartender.

“Well get back on the bed,” He said as he held his hand out to you. You took it and took the chance to study his face, but low and behold there wasn’t much to study. You had studied him very well last night while you were drinking.

A blush powdered your cheeks as you said thanks and covered your scantily clad body, “Uh, thanks.”

“Do you remember last night?” He looked at you while running a hand through his hair and you noticed all the veins in his arm were popping.

“Uhm, yes, and I’m sorry, I’m not usually so straightforward. Did we do anything once we got here?”

“Heh,” he laughed, “no, you were mumbling about how horrible your day had been and how it was such a blessing you met me, then you K.O’ed. I had to undress you myself.” Hoseok smirked. “Nice tattoo by the way.” He was referring to the lacy design you had gotten under your boobs and on your abdomen.

“Oh, uh thanks, I got it to feel sexier. Guess it worked last night, huh?” I giggled nervously and lowered my head.

“Hey, you don’t need a tattoo to feel sexy, you’re the sexiest women I’ve seen.” He lifted your chin to look you in the eye. “Though, the tattoo does certainly add to it.”

You could feel heat spreading everywhere throughout your body, something new. You liked this feeling, feeling sexy. Hoseok aroused this new feeling in you, and damn it you just wanted him to put you on your knees.

His hand that had been on your chin worked it’s way around to the back of your head where he took a handful of your hair and pulled you closer.

“Do you mind? If I give myself what I’ve been waiting for all night?” His voice seemed even lower now, becoming a growl.

Something inside you took over and you straddled his lap, taking fistfuls of his hair and you brought yourself even closer to him. So close that your lips brushed his when you said, “Take me.”

His other arm wrapped around your waist the second you said it and pulled you so close that your bodies became one. His lips crashed into your’s furiously, as though he wanted to take your mouth for his own. Beneath you, you could feel him growing harder and you decided to take advantage of it by rocking your hips just slightly to cause him to moan.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re mine,” He snarled into your ear before flipping you on your back and climbing over your body. “I’m going to make you shake, so you just lay there and take what I give you. Understand babygirl?”

“Y-yes,” Nothing much had even happened and you were already this breathless.

He lowered his head to your neck and started nipping his way to your collarbone before going back up to kiss the sensitive areas better. He had you writhing in anticipation already, wanting more friction on every part of you. Hoseok snaked his arm around your back and unclasped your bra, sliding it down your arms and tossing it somewhere unknown while taking your peak into his mouth, working wonders with just his tongue. He took your other nipple and toyed with it until your hands threaded into his hair and your back arched. You were aching for more and the moans leaving your moths weren’t enough to tell him that.

“What is it princess, what do you want?” He smirked at you while letting his hands caress your sides and latch onto your hips.

“I-,” you knew what you wanted but your words were failing you. You had to find some way to tell him, so you grabbed one of his hands and started sucking on two of his fingers, eliciting a few guttural groans from his lips.

“I want more,” You said once you gained some control back.

“Hm, more…” He smirked that smirk you knew so well by now. “Well how much more?” He slid your panties to the side and just barely brushed your clit. “This much? Or this much?” Hoseok whispered into your ear as he shoved his fingers inside you and pumped relentlessly. You didn’t think your back could rise off the bed anymore, but it did and at that angle he was hitting all the right places.

“Or this much more?” He snarled as he slid down your body and found himself in between your legs in a mere instant. He pulled off your panties in one swift movement before diving right in and eating you like dessert. He took your clit into his mouth and made little figure eights with his tongue to make you moan his name. Finally, he added his fingers into the mix, entering you again just as strong as before. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening and your moans grew louder before you started shaking. You had never been this sensitive before and no one had ever gotten you to such a high peak.

Hoseok finished you off by sucking on your clit and yet again increasing the speed of his fingers to a blinding pace. You lost all control of your body and started shaking as you screamed his name. He slowed down just a little to let you ride out this new level of heaven before bringing you back down to him by crawling back up your body and nibbling on your ear.

“See princess, I told you I’d make you shake,” Hoseok whispered to you before kissing you softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you panted, “yes I’m okay, please give me more… Daddy,” You looked to him with your eyes half closed, looking you see what he thought but you couldn’t see him for long before he crushed your lips with his. You got remnant tastes of yourself once you opened your mouths and allowed your tongues to dance together.

“You’re learning well babygirl, I’ll give you what you want,” He was panting as he slid off his boxers to reveal his throbbing cock, and you couldn’t believe how big he was. You had been with decently sized guys but he looked the biggest.

Hoseok positioned himself in between your legs, guiding his tip in before slowly going all the way to the hilt. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and let out obscenities before composing himself. The way he looked you in the eye to see if you were okay only made you want more. You could feel him inside you and you loved it but you wanted to know how good he felt slamming into you as fast as he could.

Hoseok started kissing you softly and thrusting in and out, picking up speed as he went. He made you feel like you weren’t on this planet anymore, you only knew of pleasure when you were with him.

“Fuck princess, you’re so tight,” His voice was getting louder by the second, and then he stopped. “Are you okay with doggy style?”

“Mhm,” You nodded, letting yourself be flipped over and put on your hands and knees in one fell swoop. Then he entered you again, from behind this time and he reached new places, places that had you screaming his name over and over.

“Please, harder Daddy, I’m almost there…” You moaned as he took a handful of your hair and pulled your head back.

“Fuck, more? Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes, yes, please fuck me harder,” You were both out of breath but Hoseok picked up speed and for the second time you started shaking. Your arms collapsed and you rode out this feeling of pure ecstasy while Hoseok took time to reach his high.

“Damn babygirl, can I cum inside?” He asked as he gripped your hips even harder and slammed into you a few last times while you nodded. He pumped one last time before spilling himself inside you.

You both fell to the bed and tried to catch your breath and wrap your minds around what just happened.

“Oh my God,” You panted, your mind thoroughly blown.

“Holy shit,” Hoseok muttered, wiping off his forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Do you know how many times you’ve asked me that? I’m fine, better than fine, I’m amazing.”

“Well I know I can be too much for some girls so, I don’t know, I guess it’s become habit.”

“Well that was fantastic, I’ve never been with anyone like you.”

“Same goes for you, shit that was good.” He looked at you while biting his lip. “You know, you still owe me your phone number.”

A puzzled look crossed your face, “But we fucked? It’s a one night stand, am I wrong?”

“Yeah, you are, I don’t do one night stands.” He looked at you softly, “Though next time we meet I’d like to take you out for dinner and get to know more about you as a person?” Hoseok blushed a little sheepishly.

“Oh uh, yeah, o-of course!” You smiled as you laid your head on his shoulder, “Mind if we nap though? I’m exhausted.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” He said as he pulled you into his arms and drifted off slowly.

Baron Corbin - Thigh Riding

Word count: 2,375

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it for you!


When I heard the hotel room door slam I knew Tom was home. He was still fuming from his loss at the elimination chamber earlier that night. I turned off the steamy water and stepped out of the shower and wrapped a warm towel round my naked body. I could hear my boyfriend pacing round the rooms and occasionally throwing things here and there. Swearing at myself for leaving my clothes on the bed I stepped out and into the cool hall, rushing over to the bedroom.

I clumsily stumbled into a body I knew too well as Toms, throwing an arm up to catch myself. He seemed more than pleased by my current appearance, a smirk plastered across his face.

“Forget something?” He held up my boy short knickers.

I frowned and made an attempt for them only for him to hold them higher. It was only when I surrendered that he handed them to me. I slipped them on under the towel, self-conscious of my body. This annoyed Tom, to him I was the best looking girl in the world. He pushed past me and it was then I noticed he still had his wrestling attire on. I creased my brows.

“Why’re you still wearing that?”

“I just stormed out. I didn’t even shower.” He struggled with the clothes in his bag.

I smiled at the way he looked in his tights. If you looked hard enough you could see his semi hard on through them. God I fucking loved the way he touched me. He could be so gentle at times and others so rough, it was simply amazing. And his tongue, don’t get me started. It was a wonder how he could possibly reach my lips when making love to me he’s so tall compared to me. He must’ve seen me staring in the mirror.

“Like what you see?”

A blush crept onto my cheeks. He spun round and sat on the edge of the bed, tossing his wrestling bag carelessly onto the floor.

“C'mere, beautiful.” He reached out to me.

Slowly my feet brought me to stand in front of him. Even when he sat on the mattress I was no match for his towering figure. The room was dark apart from the small lamp in the corner giving off just enough light for us to see each other. His eyes were full of lust now. They were staring right through me. There was no telling what could happen from here.

He took my hand and pulled me closer to stand in between his legs, my breathing was becoming unsteady. His lips brushed mine before I bravely connected them. It was sweet and gentle at first but soon became rough and needy. My hands flew up tangling themselves with the length of his hair. A low moan came from the back of his throat when I tugged at it. He grabbed at my arse through the towel begging for me to take it off. His lips moved to my neck leaving a trail of wet kisses. He began sucking on the spot where my jawline met my neck.

“…Tom.” I moaned tugging his still damp hair.

He pulled me closer to straddle his lap, his hand resting on my lower back. My lips parted and I creased my brows as Tom sucked harder at the skin at the nape of my neck, sure to leave a love bite. I threw my head back at the sensation. He moved his lips to my ear.

“Move your hips for me, baby.” He whispered.

“W-what?” I batted my eyes, unsure of what he was asking of me.

He took hold of either side of my hips rolling them forward, watching me as he did so. I moaned as my clit moved along the buttons and ties alone his tights. Tom seemed pleased with himself. I continued the motion with my hips. Tom moved one of his hands down to my aching core sliding a single finger up the soaked material.

“So wet for me, baby.” He smiled.

My eyes grew wide when Tom brought his finger into his mouth, sucking my juices off.

“You taste good.” He hummed closing his eyes savouring the taste.

Tom looked at me and smiled. His leg began to bounce up and down. He gripped my hips hard and helped me move them faster. I didn’t know how long I was gonna last. I threw my head onto his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut with the burst of pleasure running through my body. I could feel the knot in my stomach beginning to form.

“Fuck, Tom.. Please.”

All at once everything stopped. Tom had stopped bouncing his leg and moving my body.

“What the fuck!”

“Get up.” He demanded.

I huffed, doing as I was told. He stood from the bed shadowing over me. His fingers hooked into the towel that was still wrapped round my small figure and ripped it away throwing it across the room. I was left in only my knickers as he pushed me down onto the mattress, hovering over me.

My nipples made contact with his bare tattooed chest. He licked a bold stripe in between them, grabbing a nipple with his teeth and sucking lightly. My back arched off the mattress. Toms fingers skimmed down my sides and hooked into my knickers.

“I want to take them off.” I nodded.

I watched as he slowly pulled them down my legs admiring the view.


“Jesus, Tom do something.”

He seemed to be amused by my impatience. He brought his lips up to my ear.

“Do what, baby?”

“Touch me… please.” I panted.

“Where do you want daddy to touch you?”

“Anywhere.. Everywhere.” I murmured.

This was enough for him as he swiftly pushed himself back down between my legs. The teasing wasn’t over though. Toms hands felt ever so gently down each of my thighs, leaving trails of wet kisses alone the way. He sucked the sensitive skin every so often sure to leave love bites. His nose brushed my clit. Hot breath fanning over my wet pussy. His long fingers parted my folds licking up some of my juices, holding my gaze hostage the entire time. I squirmed round on the mattress. Impatient, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him forward. His mouth connected with my wet sweetness. Immediately Toms mouth got to work.

His tongue flicked over my clit moving in figure eight motions. My mouth parted in pleasure. I felt one of his digits sink into me. It began to pump in and out at a fast pace. My backed arched off the mattress and I fisted at the duvet. He used his free hand to hold me in place on the bed.

“Shit, fucking don’t stop!”

Tom chuckled into my dripping core. He inserted another finger, pumping even faster and harder this time. Jesus. I moaned loader. My hips rolled into his mouth, desperate for more contact. I could feel it coming on. I was so close.

“F-fuck, I’m g-gonna..”

My hands found themselves tangled in the back of Toms head and one yanking at the duvet covers as I came undone into his mouth. Tom hummed in pleasure as he licked me clean.

My torso rose and fell at an unsteady pace, my arms falling to my sides. Tom rose above me and stepped out of his wrestling tights leaving him in merely his briefs, precome already staining the outside of them.

“You gonna help me, baby?”

The bed squeaked as he towered over me, a knee on either side of my thigh as I sat up. I pulled the black material down freeing his length. He grabbed my hair pulling it back in one of his hands as I held the length in mine, licking a bold line up the base of it. I took the swollen head in my mouth pumping the rest in my hand. Tom hissed at the new feeling. I tilted my head a few timed before removing it from my mouth, making a popping sound.

“You like sucking daddies dick, baby?” I hummed stroking his length.

He leaned down placing a kiss on my lips. I took him into my mouth again, taking more this time. I didn’t have a gag reflex which was a good thing when it came to things like this. I pressed my nails into the base of his balls like I knew he liked causing him to push himself further into my mouth. I squeezed my eyes closed.

“Fuck yes, princess. Do it again.” He groaned.

I complied. I knew he loved that. His length began to twitch in my mouth. I knew he was close. My actions became more swift. I dug my nails into him again. Toms eyes squeezed shut and his head rolled back. He came into my mouth, shooting his load down my throat. I moaned, swallowing and licking his length clean of the saltiness.

I watched as he came down from his high. His breath shaky. He took my face in his large hand placing a lazy kiss to my lips. His tongue brushed against my bottom lip asking for entrance to which I accepted. Our tongues moved together as one. We moved backward so that he was on top of me now with our heads on the pillows.

“I want to ride you, daddy.” I spoke in between kisses.

In one swift movement Tom had me straddling his lap again. Usually he would protest, always wanting to be the dominate one. Not tonight. I positioned him at my entrance and he wasted no time in forcefully slamming into me. He guided my waist as I began moving them up and down at a steady slow pace. Tom watched as I rolled my head back in pleasure.

He caught hold of my hips and lifted them slightly before pounding into me fast and hard. I could hear his balls smacking against my skin. I grabbed at his hands but he was too strong. His fingers dug into my skin. I threw my head back and I arched my back. The pleasure was so intense.


He kept going, his focus on showing just how dominate he could be in this position. Our moans were filling the room and I was wondering if the people above or below us were going to call down and complain about all the noise.  The bed squeaked with every hard thrust and I could hear the headboard hitting the wall. I was afraid we would have to pay for a hole in the wall pretty soon.

When he finally stopped I fell forward onto his chest, both of our breathing erratic. My eyelids feeling heavy. I felt weak. It was a wonder how neither of us had came yet. I began moving my lower body in a circular motion, rolling my hips into his.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He moaned pushing a strand of hair from my face.

I could hear Toms breathing begin to hitch in his throat. His moans becoming for frequent. He was close.

I began to bounce up and down on his length. His head moved to the side and his chest moved up and down rapidly.

“Fuck, baby stop. Stop.” He demanded.

I kept going, my motions becoming swifter. I wanted to see him come. I felt his dick twitch inside me a few times before a burst of warm thick liquid shot into me. I liked the feeling of him coming inside me. Toms eyes squeezed shit and he bit down on him bottom lip to stop himself from screaming out. I was frightened when he opened his eyes again, he was angry.

In an instant we were flipped over and Tom was on top of me. He slammed into me hard hitting my spot with each hard thrust.

“C'mon. Let go.” He growled.

I could feel the knot in my stomach beginning to form for the third time this night. Toms hand moved down in between us and rubbed circles into my clit. His other held the back of my thigh tightly to his waist. My nails scraped down his back leaving a trail of prominent red lines. I couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Fuck, fuck, fucking fuuck! Oh Tom!”

My back arched up off the mattress. Toms lips came down onto my neck and harshly sucked leaving a bruise as he rode out my orgasm.

Tom plopped down beside me on the bed, exhausted. He was sat on his side, his head propped up on his elbow. My hand found its way to the back of his head playing with his hair. We lay in the dark room in silence recovering from our rough actions. Finally I broke the silence.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win, baby.”

He snickered, “Believe me, I won.”

I giggled at his comment. Toms fingers traced the small bruises in the form of finger prints on my waist and thigh, a frown playing on his face. He’d never been that hard on me before.

“Was I too rough?” I pulled his hand away.

“No.. I liked it. It was perfect.” I reassured him, kissing at his knuckles.

It was a few minutes before he spoke again.

“You let me come inside you?” I smiled.

“It felt good. I’d do it again.” He laughed at this.

I turned to fully face him, my fingers tracing the inc of his tattooed chest. His eyes never left me. I tried to go over how to bring up what I wanted to say.

“I want to do it again.. like that.” I said barely above a whisper furrowing my brows, unable to meet the gaze I knew was still upon me.

Despite my entire body being sore and covered in love bites and bruises I liked what we did. It felt good. Fuck it was overwhelming. I had no idea he was capable of doing something like that. Tom ran his fingers up and down my arm leaving goose bumps behind. He sighed heavily. He pulled my chin up so that I was facing him again, a delicate kiss placed on my lips.

“I’d only do it with you. For you, baby.”



“what do you want?”
i want a life that’s worth living
without a need to turn around
just to say, well damn,
i could’ve treated you better
if i held you that night
would it have made a difference
probably, a life without regrets–
“don’t regret anything you do”
she tells me with a kiss goodbye
and it’s just another one of those nights
when you used to be 15 and you look back
the sun hits you right in the eye you’re 24
now you get it, i understand now
“what do you want?”
i want a lover that’ll tell me no
so that i can respect it
no means no means no means no
i want a lover that doesn’t force
hearts to beat where they shouldn’t
i want a lover that counts the stars
backwards by the thousands
every night just to say
“shit, i almost guessed it right this time”
kiss me slow, kiss me slow
let’s save this moment
like old nintendo video games
and we were too broke
to afford a memory card
so we played it every morning
just to beat it in one try
you grow up too quick
you used to be 7 and
now you’re 24 and
you’re still worrying
about if you said something wrong
or if it was offensive
or if you are liked
or if you are loved
“what do you want?”
i want to be like the greats
that came before,
as a matter of fact
i want to be greater
than the greats–
they’d want an honest fan
i want to be the best version
of myself by following
your inspiration
into the sea where i can see
into hearts where i’ll make art
into the soul where i shall sow
into emotions where oceans dry
into teardrops the shape of your eyes
“what do you want?”
i want poetry to be written for me
when i don’t ask, leave it everywhere
inside of my back pockets
when i grab my cigarettes
and find you there–
read every word,
save you into this moment
love me when, love me then
love me back, love me now
love me forever, love me always
keep us inside your ink
bleeding deep into your pores
regrets as tattoos, a love made for two
a love like this, unconditionally sweet
kiss us slowly, let me feel it until next week
leave the words that you can’t say in person
leave the words under your tongue
leave the words trapped in your throat
pandora’s box, my melody
hope finally finds an escape
hope finally makes it home
hope is finally seen,
fairy dust, stardust
moon dust, phoenix ash
dragon fire, wildfire–
we burn the same
“what do you want?”
i want an alarm for every flower
that’s dying right now
so that i at least have a reason
for why i can’t sleep
when i think about your soft lips
“what do you want?”
i want to know why we look
for each other when we’re away
i want to know why we look
for each other when we’re together
i want to know why we look
for reasons to blame each other
i want to know why we look
for reasons as to why we hate each other
i want to know so much about you
even though we are just strangers
dear lover, oh lover, my lover
we are no longer the same
and it’s this thing called love
that makes life feel insane
“what do you want?”
i want to teach my sons
that a woman’s body is hers
and hers alone, so respect it
i want to teach my daughters
that if a man ever lays a hand on you
tell them that daddy put me
through karate class
and this belt is only white
because i bleached it
just for this day,
i’m about to kick your butt
“what do you want?”
i want my mother to gain more weight
she’s losing much, we’re running out of time–
do you think angels give us signs?
what about god?
is this a sign?
or is it just time?
do we all end up sad and alone?
i hope not, she’ll always have us
“what do you want?”
slowly, with less poetry
more eye contact, less texting
more voice recognition
talk to me like i’m deaf
sign language
your screams
how come you never listen to me?
i hate you. i hate you.
love her like she’s blind,
show up everyday with flowers
even if she hates them,
she will love them.
even if she hates you,
she used to love you.
“what do you want?”
“go on many adventures without me, okay?”
sometimes i want that exact sentence
to not be your last words.
“what do you want?”
sometimes i wish i didn’t have to write so much,
the thing about being in love with you is–
for every sentence, i remember the passionate
fibers you put into each letter, if the word love
has four letters, you made it meaningful
each one had meaning
l stands for lasting,
we didn’t last
o stands for one,
one mistake can make you apologize for years
v stands for very,
very much in my mind
like sands that fall in an hourglass–
drop by drop, hold you until we’re faded
but like all stories, the book has a last page
a kiss is like that page, we just read it too much
loved into it too much, should’ve left
but we stayed, should’ve ended it
but we wanted to make it work–
the youth remembers e
e for ecstasy
e for euphoria
e for evenly empty
e for everything
e for etchings
e for eternity
we remember the ways
to count backwards
for every star
there’s a dark passage
that we can’t return to
and we won’t
“what do you want?”
i want to write it all out
i want to write it all down
i want my first thoughts to be
how can i be a better person?
by being a better person
“what do you want?”
i just want this to make sense to someone
am i making any sense?
jumbled earphone poetry,
no rhythm
no rhymes
no schemes
no iambic pentameter
no lyrics
no style
no structure
just everywhere
like the sound of a heart
removed from a chest
that has been poisoned
because being love sick
makes a broken person
feel like an indention
inside of a paragraph
like a doggy eared page
because love makes us feel
this chaos that’s light enough
to drown out the sun
because love makes us crazy
my dark room is its own brand
of an asylum
because love makes us better
even if soulmates split
and we’re two strangers
all over again
back to the start again
because love makes us contemplate the stars
and how the universe made us into this
because love makes us angry
while simultaneously
forcing us into constant laughter
such a stupid naive kid
who thought that he could contain love
love isn’t meant to be forever
it’s meant to be freedom
you do something wrong
learn how to do it right
and in truth, there’s never black and white
when it comes to love
no who wears the pants
it’s about compromise
and we always learn things
a little too late, when you can’t fix things
you can only dwell on it,
so i’ve been dwelling
“what do you want?”
i want happiness
i want to be poetry
like a link that ties
my past to a red kite
fly it real high,
maybe i’m high
electrocute my lies
into soft butterfly truths
turn the ocean into a huge glass of wine
baby, i’ll have two
one for my apologies
and another for not loving you right
so when i can’t sleep at night
and i find out new ways to treat you right
when i fall in love again
i’ll do it better,
i won’t make her cry
and if she does
i’ll hold her until the clouds get jealous
the only tears running down those eyes
should only ever be rain,
let’s kiss in the rain
to the person i haven’t met
and this is a little long
and this may hurt to read
but if you’re reading this
and i’m asleep
right next to you some day
and you realize that i
have a strange philosophy
on love, love to me?
every person that i’ve
felt full and empty for,
the people that i have fallen for,
i still love them,
all of them
every bit of who i am
shaped by who i should’ve been
every bit of after all this time?
always a thousand times
every single dozen of roses
bought from the very
first moment valentine’s day
was invented,
i will be enough to love you,
even if i get sad from time to time–
and one day, on that day,
when i wake up
and you’re reading this
and i’m less sad
and we might even be happy
if i do read this later
when i’m in my early 40s
with some kids who fall in
and out of love just to live a little
and they need advice
about love poems and sad songs
i’ll tell them to learn the art
of letting go, but also
to save precious moments–
savor them.
dear person i will love some day,
what do i want?
i want to love you,
in the right way.
“what do you want?”
yes. you. the person on this app.
reading this shit poetry.
you’ve made it this far.
don’t stop now.
“what do you want?”
whatever “it” is.
i believe in you.
i am proud of you.
you are great.
you are amazing.
you still have purity.
you are still flawed,
but that only makes you
unusually human.
i love you.
a teacher of mine said
that if a human doesn’t have
human connection at least
once per day,
insanity will sink in.
this is my contact.
i am the first astronaut
to ever land on your moon.
my feet is on your moon dust.
i will plant no flags,
i will sow an idea.
you are beautiful,
remember that.
—  “what do you want?”
I have way too many aspirations for one life. I want to be an author and a poet and a nurse and a flight attendant and I want to own a cute little coffee shop where people come to write or read or just exist and I want to sell everything I own and just travel around the world and I want to live in a super small town where everyone knows each others names and I want to raise my children there and I want to be a tattoo artist and make my body into the master piece that it deserves to be and I want to travel to Africa and build houses and I want to become a doctor and cure cancer and I want to be be a dog trainer and an astronaut and I want to be a photographer and I want to be a journalist for a major magazine in New York and walk everywhere in heels and go to fashion shows on my days off and I want to be a consoler for teenagers who struggle with mental illness and help them the way no one helped me and I want to be a kindergarten teacher and a stay at home mom and all of this is too much for one lifetime and that’s the problem.
—  4am

• “hey mc, do you wanna grab some pizza at that new Italian place!”
• “cool that’s right by where I work!”
• “the bath bomb place?”
• “the tattoo place yoosung”
• boi is QUAKED
• he doesn’t exactly like tattoos, but he thinks you’re extremely skilled!
• he’ll let you try new designs on him using sharpies and markers
• he asks you to send a picture of each and every tattoo you do ^^

• “hey mc, look at this temporary tattoo I need for my new role! I designed it myself for the character!”
• “wow that looks great, do you mind if I use the design?”
• “for what?”
• “tattoos Zen, what else?”
• he’s a little surprised but more amazed than anything else
• and you want to use his design??
• now whenever he sees other tattoos he says “my sweetheart could do better than that”

• “Mc, can we grab coffee during my lunch break?”
• “sure thing, as long as I don’t have a client already in progress”
• “client, progress?”
• “I do tattoos Jahee.”
• she looks at you with wide eyes
• “so you’re a tattoo artist?”
• she supports you and sometimes acts as a body guard when you have scary clients

• 100% support
• advertising everywhere
• the best equipment
• designs Elizabeth the 3rd tattoos for you to put out for costumers to choose
• you surprisingly get some high class customers
• you become know as a pro among the richer folks

• you find him sleeping in front of the apartment one morning
• you gently shove him with your foot
• “Seven?! What are you-”
• he stands up quickly and shoves a photo in your face
• “I want this tattooed everywhere.”
• it’s a photo of Elly with a Nicolas cage t-shirt on
• “Seven no”


ART SCHOOL | Q&A w/ TAYLOR PATTON (Nova Scotia) | Babes Ride Out

We’re always excited when Babes Ride Out rolls through town and brings together good times, good friends, and cool art!  VANS is not only heading down to this year’s Babes Ride Out West Coast event, but also contributing blank decks for all the BRO Artists to customize. Our first artist spotlight focuses on Canadian based artist Taylor Patton whose rad works are filled with clean hard lines, bold colors and imagery inspired by her love of tattoos and tattoo culture. We’re excited to learn more about Taylor and what inspired her customized deck! 

Interview by Anya Violet | Photographs courtesy of the artist 

Keep reading

true love, self destruction


Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: Angst

Summary: I thought that I would always be his. And that he would always be mine.

Warnings: Mentions of drug use

Author’s Note: …..I don’t even know where this came from. I was in a rut, couldn’t write a word so I forced myself to work on something tonight and this is just the end result of that. Also, this has been left open ended, so it’s up to you to choose what happens next, I didn’t want to make the choice so. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading!

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Once I came out, I stayed out. I got a regrettable pink triangle tattoo on my shoulder and plastered Queer Nation stickers on my leather jacket and went to kiss-in protests at the old coffee shop on Commercial Drive. I wanted to fight homophobia everywhere, in everyone. I wanted to Act Up, to act out, to have sit-ins, and not stand for it anymore.

I wish now I has been kinder to my mother about it all.

Ellen moved into a big house in East Vancouver and started to date a guy who played trombone in her jazz quintet. I told her I couldn’t spend too much time with her and all her straight friends anymore lest I by homogenized by their infectious heterosexuality. My politics didn’t leave anyone, including me, a lot of room for nuance, or grey areas.

I wish I had been kinder to a lot of people about it all, come to think of it.

My consultation for my voidfish tattoo is happening this Thursday. I can’t believe this is actually happening, I want to giggle uncontrollably but also vomit everywhere aaaaaahhhh

The Nightmare

Ronan wakes up in a cold sweat, his heart hammering, breaths coming out in ragged gasps. It’s dark in his bedroom and he flails his arms, smacking the other side of the mattress, searching, feeling… his hand meets warm flesh, the curve of a shoulder, and he relaxes.

“Adam,” Ronan nudges Adam’s shoulder. “Adam.”


“Wake up,” Ronan pleads, a strained ache in his voice that Adam recognizes and responds to immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Adam asks. His hands fumble in the dark until they find Ronan’s chest, slide down his sides, over knobby wrists to grab his clammy hands.

Lux,” Ronan whispers and the glowing orbs come, swirling out of the jar on Ronan’s desk.

In the close, golden light Ronan looks more pale than usual, a sheen of sweat coating his face and chest. Adam rubs his hands up and down Ronan’s arms, trying to will away the chill that clings to his skin.

“I had a nightmare,” Ronan explains. “You turned into a deer.”

The haunted look in Ronan’s eyes is the only thing that keeps Adam from laughing, but he can’t stop his amused smile.

“That’s a nightmare? Domestic life is making you soft, Greywaren.”

Ronan shakes his head in frustration. “You don’t understand! The ley line transformed you into a fucking deer! And you couldn’t turn back! I tried everything, consulted everyone I knew but nothing worked!” The panic from the dream is reasserting itself, the helplessness and despair. “Do you get it? It was so… awful.”

It still doesn’t sound so bad to Adam but he tries to imagine it from Ronan’s point of view. How would he react in a similar situation? What would it be like to lose someone, not completely, and yet so totally that they could never be the same…

“I’m sorry,” Adam murmurs and draws Ronan into his arms. He kisses Ronan’s forehead, cheekbones, lips. Each kiss is a confirmation: I’m here I’m here I’m here. “What was I like, as a deer?”

Ronan presses his face into the crook of Adam’s neck, breathing in his scent.

“You were like my dream deer: white with silver spots, pale blue eyes. You followed me everywhere, always going for my hands so I would give you snacks.” Adam snorts quietly. “What? You were cute.”

“It doesn’t sound so bad,” Adam says. He rubs Ronan’s back, tracing the familiar lines of his tattoo.

“I don’t want another pet,” Ronan relpies, his hands cupping Adam’s face, “I just want you.”

Their kiss is bittersweet, tinged with fear and longing and the need to hold on to each other for as long as they can. Adam knows that the nightmare probably stems from the stress of their upcoming separation; he’ll return to college and Ronan will remain, alone but for his dream creatures.

The sun rises and the orbs are dismissed. In the light of day the dream seems foolish but the fear remains. Ronan keeps his arms wrapped around Adam, his lips lightly kissing the freckles on his shoulders, the bumps of his spine. Their days are numbered and he won’t waste them.

[Inspired by a moment of panic I had last year when, prior to reading The Raven King, I saw content on tumblr that led me to assume that Adam would be turned into a deer. I was horrified by the thought of Ronan never being able to love Adam, of Adam losing everything and getting stuck as an animal. Thankfully I was completely wrong! In my defense I was really sleep deprived and worried and I had just finished the Half Bad trilogy and did not trust authors at all.]

El Diablo- Footage

I was taking the short route to my destination when an old man leered at me from a dark alley. Ugh, how cliched. “What’s in that purse of yours, gorgeous?”

Ignoring him, I kept walking, my head held high. “Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a short but intimidating man with tattoos on every inch of his body walking towards us, and mentally sighed. 

“Why you little-”

“She ain’t biting the bait, pal. Back off.”

I was about to turn to him, and tell him off, but oldie beat me to it. “What’s it to you, anyways? Punk.”

That seemed to hit a nerve with him, as he lunged forward and socked the man in the alley. I screeched and stepped forward to stop him, but they were really going at it- punches being thrown everywhere, and I could have sworn I saw a golden tooth landing on the grimy pavement.

Having given him a black eye the size of a small orange, Tattoos backed off, and turned to me with a satisfied expression. “Want me to walk you home, miss?”

“No, I don’t. Just like I didn’t need your help with that guy.”

Eyeing me up and down, he nodded to himself. “That’s it, miss, we’re walking together. Dressed like that, you could get… This ain’t Metropolis, lady.”

“You imbecile, this skirt is short on purpose.”


“I’m an actress, and that’s my co-star you just beat the shit out of. We were shooting, for Christ’s sake.”

He turned beet red, and started to stammer an apology, but I beat him to it, already bored. “Beat it, Baddie. We’ll patch him up, no worries.”

“Hey, (Name)!” My director shouted, “Ask the nice man if we can use that footage. It’s so realistic.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose in irritation. “Directors and their reel, I swear,” I muttered. “You don’t have to agree if you’re not comfortable, Mister…”

He seemed to be contemplating something, then he stretched his hand forward. “Chato. Pleasure to meet you.”

I laughed, “This has the been the most terrible first meeting ever, don’t give me that ‘Pleasure’ bullshit.”

A small grin formed on his lips. “It’s been a while since I did something like this.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe we can redo that whole first meeting jazz. Go somewhere nice.”

“Hey, Rico Suave, let’s take it real easy, okay?” He just stood their quietly, trying to look like he didn’t care, like he wasn’t embarrassed and a little bit upset by my rejection.

My director, having seen an opportunity for profit, stepped in, “A 30-minute coffee break wouldn’t hurt, would it, (Name)?”

I shot a faint grin Chato’s way, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, trying resolutely not to blush. 

“Let’s go, hotshot.”

new girl sentence starters

feel free to change any pronouns or alter the quotes to suit your muse’s dialogue.

  • “Okay, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.”
  • “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.”
  • “Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.” 
  • “Yeah, I mean he seemed like a really nice…European DJ with a face tattoo.”
  • “’Eye of the Tiger’ ended the cold war.”
  • “That’s not even a little bit true.”
  • “Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.” 
  • “Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”
  • “It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere.” 
  • “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”
  • “Pine has no place in this loft! It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses!” 
  • “I want to kill you, because I respect you.”
  • “Put on some pants or at least some really high socks.”
  • “You like me? You like my personality?” 
  • “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”
  • “Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.”
  • “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” 
  • [ sarcastically ] “No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage.”
  • “You care about burritos more than my children?”
  • “I don’t celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it,White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”
  • “______ said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.”
  • “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”
  • “Where are your nipples, man?”
  • “I wish I knew what was going on in his head. He’s like a…grumpy mystery.”
  • “There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…”
  • “I didn’t really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.”
  • “Burn them! Burn them all!”
  • “I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out _________’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.”
  • “We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.”
  • “When you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment–”
  • “No no, let’s hear him out.” 
  • “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
  • “After we saw the movie “Titanic,” he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.”
  • “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks.”
  • “I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.””
  • “She’s on a flip phone. I mean, she’s either poor or a time traveler.”
  • “Guys, we’ve gone soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams!”
  • “Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”
  • “I’m gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ‘Ew, why did you say moist? I hate that word.’ And then I’m gonna be like, ‘Taste the cake.’ And they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist!’”
  • “I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.”
  • “There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson — I lost a bet.”
  • “____ calls birds “wind-mice.” He says “yahtzee” when he climaxes. He calls turtles “shell-beavers.””
  • “I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!”
  • “If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!”
  • “Sponges make me feel exhilarated.”
  • “I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”
  • “I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.” 
  • “Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.”
  • “I’m going to name the baby “Baby” because it’s funny.”
  • “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.”
  • “You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.”
  • “Look! It’s a baby bird! Oh, it’s a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional.”
  • “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.”
  • “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”
  • “OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.”
  • “I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.”
  • “Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.”
  • “Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?”
20 Questions

I never ever do these but guess what I’m having a tea break so it’s quizz time, baby.

Thanks to @shift-shaping for the tag. Stay awesome.

1. One thing you would change in your personality?

Anxiety. Which causes a tendency to overwork myself to exhaustion. 

2. What is your DA rare pair?

I honestly don’t have any pairs I ship strongly at all, but I guess Loghain and Rowan?… is that rare?… How about Loghain and Maric?… is this entertaining yet?

3. A song that made you cry?

The first one that came to mind was “Miss American Pie”. Simply because it was playing in the background when I lost a very dear friend and it was sadistically fitting. Can’t listen to it ever since. Also “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” by Elvis. That’ll make me fucking tear up every time. 

4. The best movie ever?

Spirited Away dude. It’s my childhood. 

5. Food you will never eat?

I’m not picky. I think I only hate brussels sprouts. But as soon as I’m able to I think I’d like to stop eating meat, maybe… I’ve always felt awful about it.

6. Your celebrity crush?

It’s rare for me to catch a crush on real people. Unfortunately I do (bitterly) have a “celebrity crush” at present. But you don’t get to know who that is. Because I am bitter and I hate emotions that run rampant without my consent. 

7. Your favorite DA location and why?

The Emerald Graves. No fucking doubt about it. 

8. You’re a night or a morning person?

Time is a construct. I am awake when I want to be awake. I can only sleep during night time, though. As you can imagine I am a very sleep deprived person. Yay for me.

Go #NoSleepSquad.

9. You have any tattoos?


10. How many languages you speak?

Fluently? English, Spanish and French.

11. Where would you most like to visit?

At the moment Scotland because my delightful bro @turrkoise aka light of my life is there. But in terms of traveling? Probably Japan. Or LA. Or Egypt. Or anywhere with awesome jungles. I don’t know I just wanna go everywhere. 

12. What’s the best book you’ve read?

Hard question. Hard question. I’ve enjoyed The Witcher saga a lot. As well as the Lord of The Rings and A Song of Ice and Fire books. Harry Potter too. I have extremely fond childhood memories of reading  The Idhún’s Memories and it being my fave book for years. Yeah dude I don’t know. It’s hard. Books are awesome.

13. Who is your favourite BioWare character?

To no one’s surprise, it’s Solas. But very closely followed by Fenris and Dorian.

14. Who’s your least preferred BioWare character?

Probably Sera. (please refrain from stabbing me in my sleep for this answer)

15. What’s your favourite game?

Video game? Dragon Age, The Witcher, Uncharted, Bloodborne and Fire Emblem are my top 5 favourite ones right now. 

Of the regular game kind?… I like Cards Against Humanity. 

16. What animal do feel a kinship with?

Dude I really, really love lions. But also all kinds of reptiles. Like, I love komodo dragons for example. 

17. Cake or ice cream?

Ice cream.

18. Dogs or cats?

Both. All animals, in fact. All at once. Please and thank you. 

19. What was your favourite DA romance?

Newsflash: it was Solas. But again, followed by Fenris and Dorian very closely. 

20. Do you prefer sunshine or are you a winter person?


I thrive in the cold. 

Alright this was fun! See you around, lovelies.


Fanfic Recs - Ship #1

Fandom: Daiya no Ace | Diamond no Ace | Ace of Diamond | Daiya no A – is there any other abbreviation??

Ship: MiyuSawa | SawaMiyu | Sawmaura Eijun x Miyuki Kazuya | Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Ejiun

There’s a CRAP load of fics for this ship (though it’s never enough) so I’m going to go through them and find as many that I love as possible…OFC I WILL MISS SOME GOMEN IN ADVANCE

Keep reading

I never saw her naked.

“I don’t get naked in front of anyone,” Sadie told me. “Ever.”

It was an odd thing to say on a first date. Sure, we had already discussed our jobs, families, and the movies we liked, but this seemed to come out of nowhere. I thought she was joking.

“You mean you’re a never-nude?” I asked with a grin.

“No,” she said, chuckling. “But I wanted to tell you up front, in case it’s a deal-breaker.”

I shrugged. Very few things are deal-breakers when you’ve only just met someone, especially an attractive someone. Besides, whatever her quirks, Sadie was also smart, sexy, and sweet. I already knew I wanted to see her again.

So I did. Many times. We dated, moved in together, and eventually got married. A perfectly normal relationship, except that Sadie really hadn’t been joking about her quirk. In all that time, not once did I see her completely naked. She seemed fine with nudity while dressing or bathing, but only behind locked doors.

She refused to explain, so her phobia mystified me. Almost anyone would have agreed that she was beautiful, and she claimed to have no embarrassing tattoos or traumatic stories of abuse. When we made love, my hands roamed everywhere beneath her clothes, but I couldn’t feel any scars. In the end, I gave up asking about it and just accepted her as she was.

Then she got pregnant.

If you’ve never had a lover suddenly turn cold on you, I don’t recommend it. Over nine long months, Sadie’s sweetness disappeared, as if everything had been an act. When her water broke and we went to the hospital, she even banished me from the delivery room.

I suppose that was a good thing, because when the baby came, I heard screams. Not the wailing of a newborn, but the frenzied shrieks of adults. By the time more hospital staff rushed in, Sadie’s doctor and nurses were dead, having torn out their own eyes before slitting their throats or bashing their skulls against the floor. And at the center of it all was Sadie, unconcerned by her bloody surroundings as she cradled our child in a sheet.

Nobody else understood. Nobody else grasped what I grasped.

Those people had seen my son. My newborn, naked son.

In the days that followed, I felt even more unwelcome in my own home. Sadie would sit in a rocking chair, holding our strangely quiet child, and both of them would stare right through me.

Then, not long ago, Sadie died in a fiery car accident. It was almost a relief, I’ll admit, but being a single parent isn’t easy. Alone with my son now, his silent stares grow colder every day.

I keep my eyes tightly shut whenever I bathe or change him, of course. Whatever he really is, I can only assume that it would drive me mad to see it.

But it’s almost as maddening not to know.