i want this passion again

“We are victims of this cruel world. I forgive you, Bertholdt”

Lost My Way. (Tom Holland.)

Originally posted by takemespidey

Requested – No. This is like my comeback, I’m also sorry if it sucks ass.

Prompt – Famous actor Tom Holland has been in the film industry for years now after making it big as Spiderman and he loses himself along the way.

Warning – Douchebag!Tom. Angst. Fluff at the end.  

Words – 2,097.


The flashing lights headed towards Tom’s direction as he stood along the red carpet with his hand around his costar’s waist. He looked in her direction and noticed the smile on her face was fake. Almost everyone has a fake smile around the paparazzi and it was rare to find someone actually enjoying it. There once was a time when Tom could genuinely smile in front of cameras but that time is long gone.

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I was setting myself on fire because I thought I was keeping you warm but now I understand that even the most intense burning passions cannot melt a heart as cold as yours.
—  Things I realized when I thought about what I want to tell you if I ever see you again, part VII
Finally Together

A little NSFW thing I tried to do while drunk and I finally finished it I will not be able to post for the rest of the week but hopefully when I come back I have something new for you guys ^.^

Saeyoung POV

It took a while to get Saeran into a good state were he didn’t hate everyone, but with MC here to help us he became a functioning member of society. Saeran even made a few friends within the RFA, but he was never too found of Zen mostly because of his narcissism. Most days Saeran would play games with either MC or Yoosung those two were the most helpful in his recovery, and with MC living with us we were eating healthy meals and living in a clean house. MC may have been staying with us, but she was not with either of us, though everyone in the RFA but Jaehee wanted to be with her she just wasn’t looking for a relationship I guess. We all prepared for the third party that we were holding since MC had joined us, and there was soon a knock at my door followed by a soft familiar voice “Saeyoung, I’m heading out I have to make sure everything is in order at the revenue.” MC had brought her own car to our home and apparently enjoyed driving because she never rode with me and Saeran. As I was putting on the finishing touches to my outfit there was yet another knock on my door, but this time it was Saeran “are you ready yet, we need to get going.” I made my way over to the door and opened it revealing my brother wearing a nice suit that almost matched mine “awe you look so cute my baby brother.” I went to hug him only to be met by his hand in my face and a set of keys within his hands “we are going to be late, let’s go.”

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So there’s been something on my mind that I think is really cool, and I feel like gushing about it cause i have no shame. 

One thing i really love about tf2 fans are their own class OCs. It’s just awesome because you can really see the creativity that people put into their characters. And what makes tf2 even better is that it is a world that is wonderfully chaotic and surreal. Anything can happen, at any time. We already have hints of there existing other teams and mercenaries and what’s amazing is that, it means your OC could be out there, in the tf2 universe, doing their own thing, having their own adventures, interacting with the Teufort 9, etc..
There are no boundaries as to what can happen, nor rules holding you back. I’ve heard people sometimes say that their OC isn’t that good or original, or feel like it doesn’t match the universe of the story- which is a shame to hear. 
And speaking as a crappy artist myself- if someone ever loved my world and my work so much that they want to jump in and have fun and add to the story with their own imagination, headcanons, etc., then that’s amazing! You truly have achieved something incredible if you can impact someone to love your stuff so much, and inspire them to do more. And you never know if you will be the one to influence or inspire others. 

So I just wanted to say, again, that it’s awesome to see so many passionate people invest and create and write their own stuff. And even if you feel like your ideas or OC aren’t good, that doesn’t change the fact that only you could have come up with it; not to mention all the improvements you can achieve if you keep practicing your art, writing etc.. 
The best thing you can be is yourself, so be proud of whatever you come up with, never stop being inspired, and just have fun with that unique mind of yours :3 

Rewriting the Past - seven

Originally posted by intokai

Pairing: ReaderxBaekhyun

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: Baekhyun was your first love when you were sixteen. It was passionate, hot, and messy. But all of that ended six years ago, after a four-year battle for your relationship. Now, you’re twenty-six years old and still reeling from the relationship when suddenly, Baekhyun shows up on your doorstep.

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven

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When someone starts telling me a story that I’ve heard them tell before, I don’t say anything because I want them to be passionate about telling it again. Tell me again for the 50th time, I want you to be happy.

I want to hold your hand again, to kiss you passionately without a single interruption. I want your heart across mine intertwined. I want for you to eagerly await my presence, to crave my attention as I amorous myself to you. I want us to unconditionally surrender our souls to the love we’ve created. I want for distance to vanish and for me to twist my body next to yours. I want you to make all this happen, again.
—  N.

anonymous asked:

Hey I hella fell off my spiritual path and have had no interest in that stuff since like last August/September but idk I rlly want to be passionate again and can't figure out how .. point being, I've been having a lot of nightmares like every night and I think it's bc I'm vibrating at an extremely low frequency and I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to deal w this ? I wAs thinking meditation w binaural beats would help but I feel an overwhelmingly negative energy when I do that +

And it really freaked me out , and meditation seems to be absolutely impossible ugh . I’m thinking about cleansing my crystals but I’m in this mindset that if I cleanse them while in a negative state I’ll transfer my negativity to them and everything will get worse. I feel like I sound crazy but I honestly think something is trying to open itself up to me that is has a really dark energy and its to the point where I cannot distinguish reality from my dreams.. scary stuff :-( ty for reading ily ).  and if you do have any suggestions for crystals to use if I can work up the courage to cleanse them , what would u reccomend? I have tons , moldavite, rose quartz, stuff for every chakra which I feel like I should work on balancing my chakras but idk

Hi! All of us go through this at one point or another. It’s normal to fall off the path and we usually feel really desperate to start being interested in our spiritual growth again, but it’s hard to elevate from a low space. Meditation should help, but you can take it in baby steps. For example, there’s this app called Headspace that helps you to do guided meditations every day. They even have a 10-day plan in which you meditate for ten minutes every day for ten days. Approach meditation slowly and build up stamina. You don’t need to do deep meditation or use binaural beats just yet. Short, guided meditations will help to ground + center you. As for crystals, you won’t transfer your negative energy to them. You’re cleansing them so that they may cleanse you, if that makes sense. When you cleanse your crystals, leave them under sunlight or moonlight. Or, you can use sage smudging and burn incense like nag champa. These incenses cleanse negative energy from any space, including you. 

As for crystals, the seven standard crystals I recommend for the chakras are clear quartz, amethyst, rose quartz, citrine, black tourmaline, carnelian, and aventurine. Keep these crystals on your person or near you. Amethyst, clear quartz, rose quartz, lepidolite, chrysoprase, and any violet-colored crystals are excellent for helping with nightmares. Keep them under your bed or near you while you sleep. You can even create a crystal grid for your bedroom. Here’s an excellent list of crystals for your spiritual growth.

What helps me when I feel spiritually disconnected is returning to the things that made me feel connected in the first place. When I first began awakening and raising my consciousness, one of the catalysts of my growth was reading and studying The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life by Drunvalo Melchizedek. I would read the book and take copious notes on things that resonated with me in a black spiral notebook that became my mystery school notebook. Or, I would listen to a lot of music by Willow Smith, Jaden Smith, Crystal Mec, Raury, and other artists whose music made me feel full of love, light, and happiness. I also meditated with crystal grids often. I loved making crystal grids. Another thing was that I spent a lot of time in nature, going in the park to sit in the grass and read and let my crystals charge in the sunlight. 

Do the things that make you feel like you’re vibrating at a higher frequency. If you want to feel passionate again, do the things that gave you passion. Make a routine out of them if you have to. Write down times during the day when you can do these things and commit to doing them. Slowly but surely, you will feel connected again. :)

Forever and Always

Originally posted by cheonjaes

Another night ended with the sound of slammed doors. 

The sound making me nauseated. Once again I would be sleeping at a friends house.
No longer feeling welcomed by him. No longer feeling wanted.

Four months ago, I lost my job. I was heart broken. Not only did I love that job with all of my heart, but without it I could not stay in Korea.
I didn’t know what to do. I made just enough to live and sustain myself. If I was able to work there just three more months, I would have a received a raise. But the world was obviously not working in my favor. 

My boyfriend was the wonderful and amazingly talented rapper and producer: Zico. We had been dating for two years and our relationship was perfect. He was my other half and I was his.
We were having a movie night at his place the night I told him everything. He sat with his back resting against the arm of the sofa, legs splayed out along the couch with me in his lap, legs resting the same way, my upper body resting along his. He had both arms wrapped around my waist. I could feel him breathing on my neck as I told him the situation.
I explained to him that with the money I had saved, I could only afford to stay in Korea for two more months, so I would be moving back home to the states soon.
It was quiet for a while after I finished. Every tick that the clock made making me even more anxious for his response.
After a few minutes he finally spoke.
“Why don’t you move in here?” I could feel him looking at me without even turning around. His pupils burning holes into my skull. We had talked about moving in together before, but I always rejected the offer, not wanting to move in with someone I wasn’t married to. This just was not a step I was ready for.
“What about my dog?”  I felt him shrug. “I don’t care, bring him too” “But you don’t even like him” “You love him so I love him” He was acting as if this was a no brainer. I couldn’t afford to live on my own so I should live with him. Simple. But it was not that simple to me. Moving in with him scared me to death. Were we ready?
Zico could feel my insecurities raging within me. “Look, I know you have your worries, but this could work. We’ve been together for two years now. Most couples move in with each other way sooner than that”
“Yeah and they end up breaking up too”
“But not us, we’re different than them”
“How so, babe?”
“Because not only is our love strong and unbreakable but we already have our life planned. Look, we said married by 28 and kids by 30. Would it be so bad to just move in with each other now. We already know we will always be together, forever and always.”
 The room was filled with silence. I didn’t know how to reply. After waiting a few more moments, he spoke again.
“Babe, I know you’re scared. But you shouldn’t be. You know I want you here anyway. I love it when you stay over and I’m always wishing it was permanent. My apartment is a great for the two of us anyway and with your dog being here that makes it a little more homey don’t you think?”
His voice was filled with hope and it was breaking my heart. I did want this. I imagined what life would be like living with him all the time. But I always imagined we were married.

After a couple days of going back and forth on the topic, we decided I would move in. I said only for six months, but he said for a year. We agreed to re-visit the topic after six months though. This would give me time to find a new job, save money and move into a new place of my own.

The first two months of living with Zico was better than what I ever imagined. We were more in love than ever and I started to think that moving in with him was a great decision and I probably should have done it sooner. Zico would always say “our home” instead “my home” and it always gave me a bubbly feeling inside. It took me a while to get used to, and if I ever called it “his home” he would immediately correct me to “our home” adding a sweet peck to my cheek.

It wasn’t until month three rolled around that things started going down hill. Everything he did bothered me. He was annoying me and I was noticing habits that would make me cringe. He would complain that I nagged and then nag me about nagging. He was dirty and had a horrible diet. His farts smelled so bad and he always left the toilet seat up. He came home late all the time and when he got undressed he would leave a trail of his dirty clothes along the floor. We would argue over stupid shit. But every time we argued, they got worse and worse.
The first few arguments ended with “I’m sorry” and “I love you” and “I never want to fight like this again” followed by hot and sweaty passionate sex. 
As the arguing continued, they started to end with a mutual understanding that we forgave each other. Just moving on and forgetting it happened.
With each increasing fight, I was feeling more and more like a burden in his home. I felt like a roach that he couldn’t get rid of, or was too nice to kick out.
It wasn’t until our first blow out fight that I decided not to sleep there. The fight was so stupid I can’t even remember what it was about. It kept escalating and escalating, neither us wanting to back down. It wasn’t until he threw a picture across the room, it shattering against the wall, that we both settled down and came to out senses. I looked at him with shock and utter disbelief. I have never in the two years that we had dated seen him this angry. He looked back at me with sorrow in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. He just raked his hands through his hair with a sigh and walked to the bedroom, quietly shutting the door.
Once my shock wore off, I grabbed the broom and the dust pan and decided to clean up the mess. When I made my way to the area, I noticed that the picture he threw was a picture of us. It was from the first day I moved in. Boxes were everywhere and we were sweaty. We had just gotten the last box in his apartment. Zico was so excited after he finally shut the door.
“Family photo!” He said. He quickly picked up my dog, threw one arm around me and counted to three. When he finally said three, he kissed my cheek causing me to laugh and snapped the photo. 

I felt tears well up seeing the memory shattered on the floor and decided that I shouldn’t stay there that night.
After I cleaned up the mess, I put on my shoes and left. Not even packing a bag. I’ll just come back tomorrow when he’s not home.
As soon as I got to the elevator, I called my best friend Stephanie.
“Hey y/n! what’s up?”
“Is it ok if I stay with you tonight?”
I heard her sigh, her and Zico weren’t the best of friends
“What did that bastard do now?” I returned the sigh, even though I was mad at him, I hated when she talked about him like this.
“We just had a fight, not a big deal. We just need some space”
“Well of course you can stay. You can always stay here y/n”

I didn’t know this would be the start of my spending my time there every night. Desperately trying to avoid Zico. Not wanting another fight.

It had been two weeks and Zico and I barely spoke, whenever we did, I would sense his attitude and hurry up and leave before it escalated.
It wasn’t until the third week later that I really saw him. I was at his place gathering more clothes. Stephanie decided that we should go out tonight.
“All you do is mope around, work, and search for apartments. Lets take a break from that today” I protested but of course she could not let it go. I had to return to Zico’s to get clothes to go out in and gather more make-up. I decided to just get ready there and meet Stephanie are the bar. I was in the bathroom connected to Zico’s bedroom. Leaning over the sink trying to make myself look presentable for a night at the bar.
“Oh, you decided to come home today” It wasn’t a question, just a snarky remark. A remark which scared the shit out of me because I didn’t even know he was home. Did he just get here or has he been here? I thought to myself.
“Yeah, I’m about to leave actually” I said while applying my lipstick.
“Where are you going?” His voice was laced with attitude, but I could tell he was trying to hold back.
“To a bar, performer, club place”
“With who?”
“Just you two?”
All these questions were starting to annoy me, but I kept calm. I’m not here to argue.
“Really? Y'all aren’t meeting anyone else?”

I raised my eyebrow, “Nope” I finally dared to steal a glance at him and almost choked. He was leaning against the dresser by the door, arms crossed, cat eyes staring straight through me. Never wavering. He was watching my every move. He looked so sexy right now too, if we weren’t fighting I’d probably pounce on him. He was dressed in all black with a snapback on. He must have just came from some event.
“Are you coming home after this?” He asked, voice still laced with attitude.
“Actually, I might stay with Stephanie again” I started fixing my hair. Desperately trying to hurry and leave. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I heard him let a deep sigh. One of those over exaggerated sighs.
“So when are you moving out” This also wasn’t a question but another snarky remark. Although I knew he’d ask soon, I was still shocked. I slowly turned to look at him, setting down the oil I was about to place on my curls. He was in the same position, still staring at me. Eyes dark and challenging me.
“Well when do you want me out by Zico?” Another exaggerated sigh left his lips. I watched him roll his eyes and drop his arms by his waist. He shifted his weight and looked at me again.
“I’m asking because you obviously don’t want to be here, so just let me know y/n” My eyes widened. I never said I didn’t want to be here, it just felt like he didn’t want me here.
“That’s not true Zico”
“Then why aren’t you ever home?”
“Because we argue all the time and-“
“So what! Couples argue y/n”
With every word his voice rose. No longer being able to contain his anger. He was right, couples did argue, but do they argue like this. All the time?
“Cancel your plans with Stephanie” it was more of a demand than anything.
“What? No, we already made these plans” I saw his face soften for a second, but only a second.
He folded his arms over his chest again.
“You said you want to be here, then stay. Cancel your plans and show me you want to be here”
“So we can what, argue? Because couples argue
I clearly hurt him. I could see it in his demeanor, but he’d never say it. Always trying to play it off. He knew I was mocking him. Why am I such a horrible girlfriend?
“So I’m just supposed to spend another night here alone? Sitting on the couch every night looking stupid, waiting up for you to never show up. Me and that damn dog just staring at each other, telling him ‘yeah I miss her too buddy but she needs space’. I’m talking to a damn dog y/n. A fucking dog, because you don’t ever want to come home and why! Because we fucking argue and that gives you every right to just quit on us. To walk out and not even try to make it work! You’re so fucking stubborn and selfish, you hate when things get hard don’t you and I do too. But do you see me walking out every fucking chance we disagree? Fuck no, because I love you and I’ll fight to make things work y/n!”
I could feel tears starting to form. My voice was getting caught in my throat. He wasn’t just angry this time, but incredibly hurt and it was all my fault.
“It’s not that I don’t want it to work, just this is your place and whenever we fight-“
“Bullshit! I made it clear before you ever set a bag in here that once you were here this was your place too! Never once did I say it wasn’t, even when I was mad at and you got on my nerves, this place is still yours too! Everything here is yours. I don’t care about who paid for what and all that shit, what’s mine is yours and you know that so don’t try to feed me that bullshit y/n it’s not going to work!”
He hadn’t moved from his spot by the dresser and I hadn’t moved from my spot either.
I couldn’t say anything without crying so I just stayed silent. Looking at the floor, my body filled with shame. How come I didn’t know he was hurting like this?
He sighed and started aggressively rubbing his temples. He was no longer looking at me, but staring at the floor.

“God y/n” he finally spoke “If you are cheating on me, just let me know now pleaseMy eyes almost shot out my head. CHEATING. I know we’ve been on the rough end of the relationship but I would never cheat!

“What the hell, Zico. I would never cheat on you!” Being accused of such a thing crushed me. I know we fight but I still love him.
I head sniffle, he was still looking at the floor. Was he crying?
“You’re never home, do you even love me anymore?” His voice had dropped to a whisper. Breathy and barely audible. At that moment my heart completely shattered. I hated myself for causing him to feel this way because of my own issues. I felt like I was burdening him and in return made him feel unloved. 

I made my way over to him, tears spilling over my cheeks. I grabbed both of his cheeks to get him to look up at me. His eyes were puffy and red and tears kept falling.

“I still love you Zico, I will always love you. I guess I just let my own insecurities take over. I didn’t want to hurt you, I just didn’t want to fight. With every fight I felt more and more un-welcomed here and it’s not because of you, but my own issues. I promise I’ll work on them. I swear I will. I want us to work Zico I love you so much” My confession was real and genuine and he felt it. He leaned down and kissed my lips sweetly. A feeling that I hadn’t felt in over a month.
I pulled away and quickly walked back to the counter to grab my phone.
“What are you doing?” He asked, voice laced with hurt, scared of my answer.
“Texting Stephanie and telling her that I can’t make it tonight” I saw him smile for the first time in a month. His dorky smile that always lit up the room. I smiled back, completely happy that I could see our relationship turning for the better.
“You want another movie night?” he asked, eyes lit up with happiness. I quickly nodded my head. Movie nights with him were the best. “I’ll go pick the movie, hurry and text Stephanie”
I hurried and sent the message and ran to meet Zico on the couch. We sat in our normal position and right before he pressed play, he turned my head towards him and kissed me deeply. “I love you, forever and always” he said while resting his forehead against mine.
“I love you too, forever and always”

Originally posted by oppazico1

i feel very worried and sad and dead and like i can’t get ahold of my life and i want time to slow down but i also want time to speed up and i know i should get more sleep but whenever i try my thoughts gets the best of me and i am there lying in my bed panicked and worried about the present, the past, and the future and i just want to escape but escaping in books and movies isn’t as easy as it used to be and i know i am being dramatic and annoying but if i could help it, i would but i can’t and i don’t know what to do because your family just doesn’t seem able to understand this kind of shit and i want to feel numb so the pain will go away but i also want to feel some sort of passion and excitement again because all i do now is worry and overthink things and i just feel so fucking trapped and irrelevant and worthless.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I just wanted to say that your artwork has given me the inspiration to start art lessons. I love your drawings so much, that I wanted to pick up my old passion again :)

!!! I don’t know what to say, I am absolutely overwhelmed! Awesome to hear that you found your way back to your passion. Keep it up and create something cool, man! :D


«Someday, our paths will cross…» At the time, those words were a wish, asking him to catch up to my level. In order to get stronger, I became obsessed with winning, and as a result I became isolated. I have no regrets since I believed that was my path. But there was another guy who became strong, on a completely different path than mine. He believed that the other fighters who were his adversaries were actually friends, and became strong by having fun. At last, he became so strong that he overtook me, becoming my true rival. If our two paths cross again someday, I want to enjoy a passionate, intense fight with you. It may have been born out of my wish for you to release me from my isolated Vanguard life. If I’d never met you, I bet I never would’ve sensed anything was wrong with being alone. But we did meet, and now my Vanguard life without you is unthinkable.