Dark, I just performed at a local Choir Competition and long story short, my group was just short of making it to State by one judge. I'm super upset. What do you think I should do?
“Here’s what I want you to do.”
Dark rubbed his knuckles together, causing the ligaments there to crack, and realign.
“I want you to sit in a very quiet, reserved place where you cannot be disturbed. I want you to hold something comfortable that puts you in a trusting, soothing place. Say a teddy bear or a blanket, or just a pillow. I want you to stare forward into space, I want you to take a deep breath, and I want you to say to yourself… ‘I am so proud of myself. I have a fantastic singing voice that brought me into a talented choir. I was able to make it through a difficult, grueling competition all the way to the end, and it was by one judge, only one judge, that we didn’t advance. I am so proud of how far we got, the effort I put into it, and I am proud that I feel disappointed. Because disappointment means I care.’”
Do you know what angsty fic I really want someone to write?
The kind where all the comforting and the sweet words and the tender touches just don’t cut it. I want the fic where even after a tight hug and kind word it still just feels like shit sometimes. I want the blanket of guilt because even the support isn’t helping, because even though the love is there and the support is right fucking there, sometimes it just isn’t enough. I want hiding behind “I’m tired"s and “It’s just the usual stress” and “I’ll be fine once I…” because it’s so clear how it hurts that person when they can’t help and there’s no escaping the reality that nothing’s going to help for a while. The fic where someone just curls up in bed and can’t be bothered to eat or shower or fucking move. And it’s not swept away in 2 seconds and a kiss.
I mean, I know I’m guilty of the quick fix story line in my own fics… Maybe I’ll write it myself day. God I would read the shit out of this though. Where are these fics? Where are my angst monster writers?? Where is this fic?? I need it.
I just want to hug my Mutsuki, give him a cozy blanket and some hot cocoa. He didn't ask for any of this. He didn't ask to be raped by his father or kidnapped by torso and tortured. Come on Ishida, you need to chill and give him a break.
It’s snowing again and all I want is to walk barefoot with you through the backyard of our house that’s yet to be ours, in nothing but my nightdress. Making snow angels, building snow men, and declaring war to you. I want to fight you with the snow that’s covering the ground until I can’t feel my hands and feet and you got me covered in snow. I want you to carry me into the house while laughing at my recklessness. Take a hot bath with me and give me hot kisses since I crave your warmth. And then, then wrap me up in your thickest sweater because I want to smell like you; invade my space, bundled up in blankets over blankets against your chest. A hot cup of tea in my hands and my favourite book in your hands. Read to me. Word for word. Be my reader. The reader who lets me forget about the cold.
I’m having family and friends over tomorrow, and all I have done these past few days has been trying to tidy up and think of something to cook for them. I’m outting emphasis on the word trying, bc in reality I’ve sat and watched Hercule Poirot for hours and drank coffee, in the hopes the caffeine would kick start my numb brain. It hasn’t.
I’ve not been well for months, but that’s something I wouldn’t want to show, not to them. I don’t want to worry people.
All I want to do is live in my bed, hide under a blanket, read fics and scroll through tumblr. (Hello kids, this is the life of a middle aged trash)
I want Ian and Mickey to just talk; a good long chat about each other and how they’re doing. I want Ian to ask Mick about prison, I want them to talk about micks tattoo, I want Mickey to ask how Ian is doing with his disorder and how his mental state is. I want them to share each other in a moment of Just them no cares in the world and a quite moment. I just want them to say I love you face to face for real, NO ulterior. I don’t really care if gallavich is END game, like yes it would be nice but I just want a good
Moment of Ian and Mickey, two separate beings talking about their lives in the past few years.