i want that plaid dress so bad

How To Demonstrate You Do Not Not Give A F&Ck What They Think You Look Like

-ohhhhhhh man, you think that I wore this dark lipstick because I want to KISS you? But..then my perfect lipstick will be ruined. And..it’s perfect.
-it’s so tricky I trick you so much with my makeup considering my eyelids are bright purple, very human and natural
- I’m not wearing this dress because I love you, I’m wearing this dress because I hate you
-just kidding, I don’t even know your name, I’m wearing the dress cuz I like it
-damn right I am wearing this short skirt in the freezing cold because I am a got darn warrior
-yeah, yeah, only bad slutty girls wear outfits like this, thanks for the compliment, still don’t want to kiss you
-OHHHH you want me to dress pretty?!?! Then why are you wearing A 16-YEAR OLD PROMOTIONAL TSHIRT WITH A BEER ON IT?
-oh sorry, you really dressed up, cool plaid, my bad, did you get that off every mannequin in Express
-i am a witch and this is my uniform
-if you are SO distracted by my bra straps, good luck running shit later in life, let us take that from you
-I wear what I like, don’t give a shit if you like it, is your head a block of wood or do you not get that at all

And you know if it was Toby’s first date Dipper would be the stupidly over protective parent he is. He would be freaking out, Bill trying to calm him, Mabel fussing over Toby’s outfit be make sure its perfect. Nothing less than perfect for her nephew after all. The whole date Toby has to keep glaring at shadows when his date isn’t looking like: ‘Dads STOP SPYING on us! Everything is FINE. No he’s not making any passes!”



Mmm, you know my mind well. How can I pass up overprotective parents? Also, before I’m asked, Toby is panromantic demisexual, as well as genderfluid.


First Date


Toby Pines was a rather laid-back teenager. Okay, so, technically he was a demon, but he was fifteen years old, and his human shape shifting disguise worked perfectly! He looked just like any other fifteen-year-old teenager! He was still a few inches too small, still lanky, still had those monstrous braces, but he did look his age of fifteen, instead of his usual child form. So, mentally and physically, he was old enough to date.

His dads didn’t see it that way.

His Aunt Mabel was on his side, she at least, understood the importance of first dates! Toby had been crushing on this guy for the past three months, and he had asked Toby out! No way was Toby passing up on this chance! So after conference with his aunt he had on a new outfit of black dress pants, a button up black shirt, and a dapper vest that had a gray plaid pattern on the front. All in all, he looked rather good for a first date to the movies.

Keep reading