i want some so bad right now

I have 2 more books in my bookcon authors tbr pile before Friday (Heartless and Red Queen). Only books I want to read right now are the Shatter Me books. Guess who won’t be finishing her bookcon pile. That’s right this girl. So fair warning I’ll probably make a Shatter Me thread because I know I’m going to have strong feelings after reading some of the quotes people post.

anonymous asked:

How about you stop complaining about your life and how much you want to die on tumblr so much and talk to a therapist? Get some help.

hey anon i have a therapist but i only have set appointment dates and can’t talk to her every time i’m in a bad mood ???????? that’s just not how it works ????????????? i have a right to complain lmao go away

if you’re an fp! here’s some useful phrases to say to ur bpd pal/partner!

+ “i still love and care about you, but at the moment i am angry right now and i’m not talking to you for a certain time period, and i will talk to you again at ________”

+ “i’m going away for a while/i might not have internet connection, so i’m not going to talk to you for [time period], and i want you to know that i’m not ignoring you”

+ “my connection is bad right now, so i might not see your message, but i promise i’m not ignoring you!”

+ “i’m vagueing someone on [blog/site] right now, but i want you to know that it’s not about you”

+ “you’ve done [something they’ve done wrong], and that makes me uncomfortable/that’s not right. i still love you/care about you, but i need you not to do it again because [state a reason why].

+ “if i suddenly go offline, that means i’ve gone to sleep/my internet got cut off, and i wasn’t trying to avoid you”

+ “i’ve made a new friend/met someone new today, but i want you to know that you’re still my [best friend? number one? beloved partner? you can choose!]

+ “daily reminder that i love you and i care about you!”

THE SIGNS AS THINGS I'VE SAID BEFORE
  • Aries: People hold hands? Psh I can't relate, I throw hands like a real man.
  • Taurus: [puts on fake glasses] It's time to read some hoes.
  • Gemini: Me actually liking someone? Sounds fake, I just like the validation that I'm not complete trash.
  • Cancer: I'm internally screaming right now because the one day I decide to wear makeup I keep crying. My eyelashes are clumping together and I cannot. I refuse.
  • Leo: Do you ever see the sun and you're like ... Man, I'd love to punch it because same. I want to punch the sun so hard. My only chance to be fist-kissed by a hottie.
  • Virgo: I feel bad that I don't recycle. I just can't be inspired to do it because I still feel terrible about life after doing so. [throws water bottle in recycling bin] Oh look, I still have depression!
  • Libra: I want to have a flowery aesthetic... I need a group of friends that are always willing to take pictures of frolicking through flower fields.
  • Scorpio: I love the fact that no one really knows anything about me, but it also makes me kind of sad at the same time. What is my legacy besides being the mysterious and hot one?
  • Sagittarius: The only person in this world who will never break my heart is education connection lady. She's still in 2009 singing about her education experience and I refuse to believe anything different.
  • Capricorn: I've spent 10 hours of my life listening to the education connection song. If I don't make it to college, then I may as well just die.
  • Aquarius: Other people around me are always like "I LOVE YOU! OMG, I LOVE YOU!" Meanwhile I'm just eating my imaginary popcorn thinking about how much I hate everyone.
  • Pisces: I'm eating five hour old chicken nuggets and I'm sad. I don't think I'll finish them... I have to throw them away... This is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life.

tygermama  asked:

You know what would even be funnier in the Scandalore verse? Obi Wan and Satine have been secretly married for years. They were waiting for Obi Wan to finish training and then there was Anakin and then the war and Anakin has an epic conniption because he really could gave used some how to be sekritly married tips

OH GOOD LORD, SOMEONE WRITE THIS. Secretly Married Obi-Wan is killing me. Like, Obi-Wan keeps meaning to say something, keeps meaning to resign from the order so that he can go BE WITH HIS WIFE but…he doesn’t want to set a bad example or anything and this KID is here now and…well, he’ll figure it out later. Attachments are forbidden, Anakin! Hang on, I have to go…to Mandalore…for reasons. I’ll be right back! Politicians are not to be trusted byeeeeee!

Satine is going to be so epically annoyed with him for dragging his feet on this. ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI?! WELL THEN MAYBE YOU’LL ENJOY SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. *throws a martini into the wall*

Can you even IMAGINE Anakin’s face when he learns this Important Information? Oh my God. 

First words [One-shot]

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU READ!

First!

This little one-shot was inspired on two things:

-My relationship with my sister

-The manga “Shugo Chara”. For those who know the manga, it’s based from the chapter when the guardians go to Yaya’s house.

Second!

I tried to adjust Blueprint’s story to PaperJam’s story. So, since (according to his description) he lived with Ink until a certain age, he met Blueprint before the others. I also tried to make him the most canonically possible, but adjusting his personality to the story.

Third!

As you may know, English is not my first language. I deeply apologise if there are any Errors in the story. I checked it lots of times and hope there’s not a single Error ovo

 

DISCLAIMER:

*Ink!Sans belongs to @comyet

*PaperJam/PJ belongs to @7goodangel (I’m sorry if I didn’t make PJ’s personality too well. I tried to stick the “a jerk on the outside but a big child inside” part and this was what I got. Sorry ;u;)

Secondary characters

*Gradient belongs to @askcomboclub

*Moku belongs to  @6agentgg9

*Palette belongs to  @angexci 

And last, but not least

*Blueprint belongs to, well, me! 

Hope you guys like it!

****************

This will be narrated from PaperJam’s perspective.

 

I never was good with new people. And I wasn’t very happy when you came.


One day, Ink just came “home” with a baby, claiming that it was my “new brother”. I didn’t understand what was he saying with that, and then he showed you to me, my new little brother.

I wasn’t happy with this. I didn’t want a brother. I mean, Ink couldn’t even take care of me, why would he want to have another one? To let them here alone and forgotten with me? Wow, good plan, dad. However, he told me that you only would be staying with us for a day so I could get to know you, since bonding with brothers was very important and blah blah blah…

We spend a few hours talking about you and how you came to life. Apparently, you were just an accident, but not a bad one. And since he created you, you were my brother. Well, step-brother, because Blueberry was the other one that created you. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous… you were going to have caring parents and a better life than mine. What if Ink actually forgot entirely about me?

Yeah, the idea of having a brother was becoming less and less “exciting” to me.

But then, just before I started to think more things like that (which I thought was very rare for me), Ink suddenly had to go (I wasn’t surprised, with his work of protecting AUs and all; he barely had time to be here), cutting our conversation just when I actually started to enjoy it. Ink stood from the sofa and was about to open a portal when he realised something important:

Who was going to take care of you?

He told me that Blueberry and… Honey… I think, were with the other versions of them and he couldn’t take you to wherever they were. So, he had only one option… that I didn’t like, at all.


Why I had to take care of you?! I didn’t ask him for a brother and I didn’t know how to take care of a baby. I was five years old! I was starting to learn how to write and read! I remember arguing with him for a while, until I had to accept.

But not without asking something in return, of course.

In the end, he went to do whatever he needed and I was left alone with you. An awkward atmosphere formed where we were, since you found my face very interesting and kept your eyes on me for a really long time. I tried my best to ignore you, but you were too much persisting and even threw me some mini bones at me to gain my attention.

What a smart baby, huh? Well, we were magic skeleton monsters after all. But it was becoming annoying.

“What do you want?” I asked you and you only looked at me and babbled something. I instantly felt stupid, remembering that Ink told me you haven’t said your first word yet. how would you even tell me what you needed? You kept looking at me and then, surprisingly, your stomach made a noise.

Right… now I had to feed you.

Making something for you was horrible. I mean, we were in the Anti-Void and only had some snacks since we didn’t really need to eat, but being you a recently made creation, obviously needed to consume something, even if you had your HP full. Eventually, I found some milk and gave it to you, ending getting milk on my face and shirt because you apparently didn’t know how to drink it.

That was enough for me.

Usually, I’m not a person that gets mad easily. However, I did get mad that time. I stood abruptly from my seat and went to clean my face, leaving you alone on the sofa. Ink told me to not leave you, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be alone and so I did. I went to my bedroom (well, it’s not a real bedroom… just a bed that Ink made for me) and stayed here for a few hours. Maybe three or four…

It wasn’t until I heard a soft sound that I didn’t get up from my bed. And when I did, I instantly paled: You were lying on the floor crying softly. Your soft cries barely reaching my non-existent ears. And it wasn’t the worst. No, no.

You were blushing and sweating a lot. Were you sick? In that moment I didn’t know.

Quickly, I went to your side and picked you up, checking if you had hurt yourself from the fall. Luckily you didn’t have any bruises, but your skull was very hot. Now you were sick? And I was alone.

Great!

How you could get sick so easily and fast? I didn’t understand that at all! Was that the real reason of why Ink brought you here? So he could watch over you while Blueberry and Honey were busy? If that was the reason, he was very irresponsibly by leaving you with me: a child, taking care of another child!

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t use magic to help you, I couldn’t ask Ink for help, I couldn’t open a portal and find Blueberry… I couldn’t do anything. And I was scared.

What if something happened? What if you started to feel worse? What if…

What if you died?

Those thoughts were swirling in my head, making me fell worst and worst. I didn’t want you to die.

Come on! You had a great life ahead! You would have a caring family and friends and maybe… maybe we would have been friends! I should have watched you. Maybe if I haven’t left you alone…

I couldn’t help to feel guilty, even knowing that it wasn’t my fault that got sick. In that moment, I didn´t cared about anything, just you.

It was in that moment when Ink decided that he should go home, and so he did. He came to the Anti-Void and found me on the sofa, hugging you like it was the last time I’d see you and honestly, that’s what I thought. He rushed to my side, worryingly asking what was wrong. I wasted no time and explained him what happened, apologising for being a bad brother and almost crying

Almost, ok?

What I wasn’t expecting was that Ink just took you and, with a quick spell, healed you. I mean, I knew magic were fast and efficient but, that was just too fast. When I asked him why, he explained that you were having some problems with your soul.

You see, brother (and also you, reader), Ink told me you were created without a soul, since you were just a magic drawing. So, he made an artificial one for you with the same paint he used to create you. Apparently, he didn’t want you to become like some “evil flower”.

Your soul was like your eyes: a blue diamond. And that soul was filled with Prussian blue paint that could give you the emotions you needed. It seemed like your body wasn’t used to having it yet and would make you sick from time to time. I didn’t quite understand that, but I was relieved when he said you would be fine.

The rest of the day was peaceful. Ink and I talked about random things while you slept. It was… nice, being with them like we were a family. That’s what we are, right? Yeah, right.

Eventually it was time to bring you back home. Ink said that you won’t be coming anytime soon because he wanted to protect you from dangerous people (aka, Error). It kind of made me sad, not being able to talk you again for a long time, but… it had to be done, hadn’t it? Ink made a portal back to Underswap and gave me time to say goodbye to you. After that, he started to walk to the portal, stopping when you started to squirm under his grasp.

Curious, I walked to the portal. You immediately looked at me and gave me a huge simile, saying (or trying to say) something that made us look at you in surprise:

My name. Yes, my name!

It was kind of babbled and wasn’t my full name but… It was your very first word. And it wasn’t “dad” or “mom”… no, it was “PJ”

You didn’t have idea of how happy you made me that day. The day when I found you, disliked you and then liked you and accepted the idea that we were brothers. And, in the bottom of my soul, I hoped to see you again.

Maybe having a little brother wouldn’t be that bad, right?

————————————–


I hope you liked it! It was an idea I had for while uvu and really needed to make it. We now know more about Print and PJ’s relationship. I won’t say PJ likes him because he’s not my character and don’t want to say incorrect things (since he isn’t one to make friends). So, I only will say that Blueprint’s first words made him very happy.

I’m sorry if it looks rushed, but this isn’t a story. It just PaperJam talking with Blueprint and telling him the story (with some people spying on them(?))

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie
4

I’M DOING THE THING

so like…forever ago I mentioned I really wanted to try doing Live2D puppets of the EQG girls kind of in the style of Sailor Moon Drops. and now I’ve made a first pass at it! in retrospect Flutters may not have been the easiest to start with, but I wanted to so oh well.

she has about a million problems (for one, her left arm somehow misaligned itself and now has a different range of motion from the right arm? and her eyes are perfectly fine in the program but when I test her in the viewer, they’re half-transparent? whyyyyy). but I am learning! at some point I might try out the pro trial so I don’t have to carefully budget all my parameters. I could…I could do wings

anyway here’s a very quick, very bad animation just to show her moving:

…the gif export is equally weird about transparency. I don’t even know anymore. :I

Jerome Valeska x Reader: Baby Cakes

Originally posted by smooshywrites

repost ‘cause tumblr sucks (sometimes)

hi there! thanks a lot to anon who requested it. dear anon, you asked for reader having a mental breakdown but i just could’t write it this way so i changed a little bit, hope you like it anyway.
btw requests are open!

i know not everyone likes ff about topics like this one but y’all should give it a try

and i just wanted everyone to know that if there’s anyone who wants to talk or feels lonely or both, PLEASE DM me.

warning: suicide attempt

[Y/N] wasn’t okay. And she was completely helpless about it. She’s been lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling for 3 hours now. She didn’t even feel sad, more like empty inside.

Before that empty feeling started to eat her up she wasn’t only sad. Anger was present too.

The thing is, she’s always been a sensitive girl. She could pretend the rude comments would’t harm her but inside she knew she was hurt. She was good at not showing that though, always has been. It was the only thing she truly liked about herself. If somebody asked her she always had the same prepared answer. She would play dumb and say ‘Oh, what do I like about myself? I don’t know! I think I like my hair and long eyelashes!’ and then giggle, like a stupid school girl. It always worked, people were strangely satisfied with that answer, she never understood why and how.

[Y/N] jumped at the sound of her telephone’s ringing. It was probably her best friend Jerome. [Y/N] felt bad for not talking to him. [Y/N] wasn’t aware but the Ginger had some strong feelings for her. He would sometimes show it by little actions but [Y/N] was too blind to see it.

But really though, let’s be fucking realistic. She’s been planning to end her life for a few months now. She may be feeling bad now but when she’s dead she can’t feel bad. Jerome would find a girl good enough for him sooner or later and leave her like all of her friends did. She could’t blame them, she would avoid herself as much as she could, too.  There was the only way to do it.

Finally, she picked up the phone.

“Hello?” It was Jerome!

[Y/N] was kind of hoping she was right and that would be him, she wanted to say goodbye. Hear his voice one last time.

‘’Jerome..”

“Hiya Baby Cakes! Don’t cha been quiet with me lately? Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go wit–”

“I’m so sorry Jerome!” She cut him off with a loud sob which caught him off guard.

“Doll? Wha-what’s going on?” He sounded really concerned.

Jerome almost fell off the stairs he was standing on as he heard [Y/N]’s sobs getting louder. She just could’t stop herself! He was going to ask her to go with him on a romantic killing spree, it was supposed to be a great time for both of them, kinda like a date, and then he’d brought her to a nice quiet place to talk. He wanted to confess his feelings. He felt like she really deserved to know them.

The stairs he was standing on were a fire escape from a building near hers. He wanted to knock on her door as fast as he could if she accepted his offer.

“I’m being honest. I’ve never been more honest in my life. I really am sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. Thank you for everything. You took a good care of me, and none of this is your fault. I… I love you, Jerome, I really do. Have a nice life you deserve. Goodbye forever.” When those words left her mouth, she immediately hung up.

She could’t believe it. She confessed her love for him! She knew he would never feel the same way and she wanted to end this pain fast.

[Y/N] sprinted towards her bathroom grabbing a razor blade on her way.  A picture of Jerome was on the table. She took it too. She wanted his face to be the last thing she’s going to see.

After 3 minutes her bath was already filled with hot water. Enough for her to go in. She kept her clothes on.

[Y/N]’s head was the only thing that sticked out from water. Picture of handsome looking Jerome drifted as she stared at it. She remembered the day she took it. Jerome took her to the zoo. One of the nicest day of her life.

Now as she thought about it she didn’t want to kill herself anymore.

Too bad she already cut her veins.

Now it was only a matter of time.

‘Hey, at least the song I like is on’

The walls were thin and she could hear her neighbour’s radio playing her favourite song.

And then she heard screaming outside her apartment. Her door burst wide open.

‘’[Y/N]!” It was Jerome. Her Jerome.

And then everything went black. 



[Y/N] found herself slowly waking up in a very white room. Her eyes squeezed shut for a second, it was so bright there. Looked like some sort of hospital.

She felt somebody holding her right hand gently. It was Jerome. What a relief she felt. She was alive. With Jerome by her side.

He was asleep. He looked like an angel to her. That one piece of hair resting on his forehead.

She held his hand tighter, he felt it because he started to wake up. He looked so cute and innocent, she would gaze at him her whole life if she only could.

His eyes finally met hers.

“Don’t ever do this to me again. I mean it, Sweet Cheeks.” It was one of those rare moments when he was being very serious.

[Y/N] was so glad he was calm. She knew they’re going to talk about it later when she feels better.

“I’m sorry, J. I love you.”

Her Puddin’ could only chuckle at her funny expression.

“I love you too, Baby Cakes. Now let’s go. I’m taking you home.”

“Even, I trust you.” Isak takes a deep breath, eyes shut tightly, “I trust you more than anything else in the world.”

He can feel more than hear Even’s responding chuckle, “That’s nice to hear. I’d never lie to you.”

“Good,” he expels the breath, “Very good. So right now, in this moment, I need you to be brutally honest with me.”

“Go on.”

Isak opens his eyes, wincing at the reflection in the mirror, “How bad do I look?”

Even turns him from the mirror to face him head on rather than in the reflection. Blue eyes rove over every inch of Isak’s face, taking in the bruising along his nose to his eye, the still swollen aspect of his upper lip- fuck maybe he’s seeing some dried blood that has refused to go away despite the amounts of showers Isak has taken over the weekend. 

Even shakes his head, “Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Isak rolls his eyes, gingerly rubbing the sore skin, “Try to think from the point of view of the student body and not of my whipped boyfriend.”

“Impossible,” Even bats Isak’s fingers away, “And I resent being called whipped.”

“Hmm,” Isak turns back and prods himself in the mirror, “I suppose I do look kind of badass.”

Even’s tone is wry, “The baddest.”

Fuck you, Isak thinks.

“Fuck you.” Isak says mildly, before shrugging and sliding out of the bathroom, “Well. We’re going to be late for school.”

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Here’s a hug for those of you who just got out of a relationship. 

Break-ups are tough but so are you - I know that this silly sentence can not take away the pain you go through and I don’t expect it to but i really want you to know that no matter how awful you may feel right now, you are not awful. 

No matter if they broke up with you or you were the one who ended the relationship, you’re not a bad person. Some relationships are not meant to last and that’s not your fault. 

*big comforting mommy hug* 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

Don’t Say Anything (part 10)

Summary: You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: I CAAAANNNNTTTTTTTTT

A/N: I’m going to Pride for the first time this Saturday and I’m sooooo excited :)

It goes completely silent. Like dead silent and you hate it. Wanda’s looking between you and Natasha while your voice gets caught up in your throat.

“Nat.. I-I’m-” you stop speaking, running your fingers through your hair.

The fiery red head stood in front of you, mouth slightly open in shock. For a spy, she did not see this coming. Everything happened so fast. You didn’t mean to blurt it out. You cracked under pressure. This is exactly what you were trying to prevent from happening.

Suddenly the door bursts open and in walks Bucky and Steve, worried looks etched on their faces and guns pointed.

“What’s going on? We heard yelling.” Steve spoke first, eyes searching the room. From where they were, all they could hear was muffled yelling and they thought you and the girls were in some sort of danger. Once Steve looks at you, he lowers his gun. “What happened?”

Your eyes travel over to Nat who kept her gaze on the ground. Your heart broke. “Nat, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Steve glances between the two of you before glaring at Bucky. “You’re not waiting any longer - talk to her.”

“But-”

“Talk to her!”

Bucky let out a shaky breath before stepping towards Nat. “Natasha can I.. Can I talk to you? Alone?”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, we have a lot to talk about.”

You watch the two exit your room and your eyes fill with tears yet again. As your lip quivered, Steve pulled you into a hug where you let out a sob. “She hates me, Steve. I hurt her.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Y/N.” he sighed, rubbing your back in a comforting manner.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me. She was so hurt. I betrayed her.” you cried. “What kind of friend am I?”

He shushed you, petting your hair softly as you cried your eyes out. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She wasn’t supposed to find out. All you wanted was for them to be happy regardless if it hurt your feelings and made you want to drown in your own tears.

Wanda slowly got off the bed and placed her hand on your back. “Are you okay?”

You step away from Steve and wipe away your tears. “I fucked up.”

“I tried to stop it, Y/N.”

“I know. I should’ve walked out or something. Anything really.” you sniffled. “Now she hates me.”

“Steve’s right, she doesn’t hate you.” Wanda frowned. “Shocked, yeah. But she would never hate you.”

“Why wouldn’t she hate me? She just found out that her best friend is in love with her boyfriend. Of course she hates me!” you exclaim.

Steve’s eyebrows raise. “You’re in love with Bucky?”

Both you and Wanda ignore him. “Don’t think like that. She doesn’t hate you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Wait.” Steve waved his hand. “You’re in love with Bucky?”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” you sigh.

“For how long?”

“Does it matter? Nothing good-”

“Five years.” Wanda cut in and you glare at her.

“Five years?!” he shouts. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“What?” the both of you say, watching as Steve slapped his palm against his forehead.

“Bucky, he-” but he stops himself.

“He what?” you question.

Steve cleared his throat. “That’s not for me to tell.”

“What the hell? Tell me.” you take a step towards the blonde.

He takes a step backwards. “No.”

“Steve, I’ve had enough today. Just tell me.”

“You’ll have to ask Bucky.”

You scoff. As if you’ll ever go near Bucky now. You should’ve just stayed away from him right when you found out about the two of them. Now everything’s out of control. You’re pretty sure Natasha hates you and Bucky  - Why would Bucky want to be with you now? Nothing will change with him.

Platinum blonde hair pokes into your room and the man attached to it smiles. “Guess who’s back and brought a cake… What’s going on? Why are your eyes all red?”

He fully steps into your room with a bag hanging from his wrist and you exhale loudly.

“Not now, Pietro.” Wanda says, shooing him away with her hand.

Pietro snarls. “Not now my ass, she’s crying.”

“Just go!” she points to the door.

“Like I’d ever listen to you, младшая сестра.” he scoffed, setting the bag down on your bed. “What happened.”

“She’s in love with Bucky.” Steve says as Pietro walked towards you.

“You finally told him? Did he reject you? Is that why you’re crying?” he held you by your upper arm, eyes filled with concern. You glance at Wanda then at Steve before letting out a sigh.

And you told him everything.


Bucky led Natasha to his room where he shut the door and locked it so they could have their private conversation. Bucky was nervous. His hands were shaking, his heart was pounding and he wanted to throw up.

If he even said the slightest thing to piss her off, she’d murder him. Literally. Bucky walks around her and sits on his bed, patting the spot next to him. Natasha doesn’t say a word as she sits beside him, a decent gap space between the two of them. She was thinking hard, thinking about the mini argument with Bucky 3 days ago, thinking about everything that’s happened, literally in the past hour and 30 minutes.

The brunette clasps his hands together, leaving them to rest on his lap and clears his throat. “So..”

“Do you like Y/N?” Nat asked, not bothering to waste any time. “Be honest with me.”

“I - Yeah. Yeah, I do.” he breathed.

Natasha exhaled an ‘okay’ and looked over at Bucky. “Don’t hurt my best friend, Barnes. Do you hear me?”

Bucky nods. “Yeah.”

“If she ever comes crying to me because of you, you’re dead.”

“Got it.”

“Alright.” she nods. “We’re done here.”

Natasha moves to stand up but Bucky grabs her hand. “Wait, that’s it? We didn’t even get to actually talk!”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about!” she replied.

Bucky scoffed. “There’s a lot to talk about.”

The red head sighed and sat to face Bucky. “Alright, fine. Let’s talk.”

“Thank you.” he breathed. “Before I start I just want you to know that I do care about you and you’re a great person.” Nat nods. “Okay so, before.. us happened I had a thing for Y/N but I didn’t think she.. you know, liked me back.” this made Nat scoff as she thought back to what you had blurted out earlier. “And then you came along and we got to talking which then led to.. you know and every time I was with you, I forgot about my feelings for Y/N. You were like a distraction. What we had was a.. a fling. You know that. I enjoyed your company. You filled the hole inside me briefly, the one that yearned for Y/N’s love and affection. I know this all sounds bad, trust me - and I know that messing with your feelings was a douchebag move but at the time, I thought I wanted to be with you. I told myself over and over again that I wanted to be with you and not Y/N but fuck, seeing Pietro all over her these past couple of days annoyed the hell out of me and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore - I couldn’t hurt you as well. I couldn’t string you along, making you think that I loved you when really, my heart belongs to Y/N.”

Nat nods her head. “So you were using me this whole time?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily word it like that but yeah.” he sighed. “It was a dick move, I know. It’s fine if you want to hit me or cut my balls off. I deserve it. I’m sorry.”

The red head exhales. “If I were some other woman, I’d be absolutely furious right now. I’d want to punch you, knee you in the balls so hard that you wouldn’t be able to produce children later on in the future.” Bucky chuckled softly. “But, I’m not some other woman. I’m me. And although everything you just said was fucked up, I shouldn’t be one to judge because I’ve been using you too.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows at Natasha’s words. “What?”

“I was in a bad place when we started talking. Bruce had ran off without even saying goodbye to me. I had to hear from Tony that he left. Fucking Tony. I was sad, I mean I really did love him. I get that he had to leave for the protection of everyone around him but a simple goodbye would’ve sufficed, you know?” Bucky nods. “Anyways we got to talking and all that other stuff and for a minute, you’d make me forget about all the heartbreak Bruce caused me. Just like I filled the hole in you that craved Y/N, you filled the hole in me. A distraction was what you were. You distracted me from my real feelings. I know what we had was a fling, I never saw it as anything more than a casual talk and fuck - sometimes make out sessions. But other than that, I didn’t have feelings for you. I liked the fact that you distracted me from Bruce and I guess I made myself think that I actually liked you in the process.” she ran her fingers through her hair. “And I’m sorry too.”

“Wow.” Bucky laughed, staring straight ahead at his wall. “So us dating, that was-”

“Completely idiotic and for no reason.” she finished for him.

He face palmed. “Oh my god, we’re idiots.”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “We are.”

“We didn’t even actually like each other, why did we start dating?” Bucky questioned, although he already knew the answer.

I have no idea.” Nat laughed. “Oh, and sorry about getting all mad after accusing you of liking Y/N. I guess I got frustrated that reality was setting in and the fantasy was no longer there.”

“It’s cool. Sorry for.. literally everything.” Bucky shrugged.

“It’s fine.” she chuckled. “No hard feelings?”

“No hard feelings.” he nodded before running his fingers through his hair. “Oh god, now I have to talk to Y/N. What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“I have a feeling she will.” the spy says as she stood up, extending her hand out for Bucky to take. “Come on, let’s go get your girl.”

The super soldier takes her hand and stands up, following her out to the hallway. “You know Y/N’s a jealous person, right? Not too jealous though but a reasonable amount of jealous.” she says.

“Yeah, it’s cute, right?” he smiled. “Ooo she’s gonna get so mad and jealous when she realizes that we’ve had sex. Plus those make out sessions and the amount of times she’s caught us. Wow. You’re in some deep shit.”

“She’s gonna get mad at you, not me.” Nat scoffed.

“You were messing around with her man.” Bucky countered.

She rolled her eyes. “Sisters before misters, Barnes. Never forget.”

“Yeah well… Bucky before Nat.” he replied, causing the red head to laugh.


A/N: OH MY GOD I’M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS FLIPPING CHAPTER AND I REALLY HAVE TO PEE SO HERE YOU GO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PART, IMA GO PEE NOW. TELL ME WHAT YA THINK

TAGS ARE CLOSED BC I CN’T KEEP UP SORRY AMIGOS

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Sorry to the peeps who didn’t get tagged! Ima go pee now lmao

Books you need to read right now so some books, like Percy Jackson or Raven Boys have big happy fandoms and thats GREAT but here are some books I feel are just as good but never seem to have gotten the love they should

The Half Bad Trilogy (Half Bad, Half Wild, Half Lost) Bisexual main character, epic gay love story, Harry Potter by way of Raven Boys, go read them, cry.

Young Wizards (So You Want to Be a WizardDeep Wizardry, High Wizardry,  A Wizard AbroadThe Wizard’s Dilemma, A Wizard Alone) before there are a Harry Potter there was Nita and Kit, hispanic main character, a gay couple (in the 1980s no less!) magic by way of Star Trek

The Old Kingdom (SabrielLiraelAbhorsen) do you want Lord of the Rings with a bad-ass woman lead? and way more magic? okay go read this, maybe the richest fantasy world ever written

The Dark Is Rising (Over Sea, Under StoneThe Dark Is RisingGreenwitchThe Grey King, Sliver on the Tree) the classic of classics, one part Narnia, one part Lord of the Rings, and one part Harry Potter, weird and otherworldly 

Bartimaeus Sequence (The Amulet of SamarkandThe Golem’s EyePtolemy’s Gate) Steampunk magic, grubby Victorian London with demons and snobbish wizards and one sassy djinni

The Keys to the Kingdom (Mister MondayGrim TuesdayDrowned WednesdaySir ThursdayLady FridaySuperior SaturdayLord Sunday) steampunk clockwork weirdness, really I can’t think of a book to compare these too, a well realized and original world with lovable characters 

PC Peter Grant (Rivers of LondonMoon Over SohoWhispers Under GroundBroken HomesFoxglove Summer) With a mixed race main character and black goddesses it’s a diverse cast, Harry Potter as an all grown up police book, very smart and well written 

so go read them, now, come on what you waiting for? well I’ll be waiting, let me know if you do read any of them? 

Karamel/Supergirl Rant.

A few weeks ago I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t respond to Karamel hate on Tumblr, but I’ve had enough. I’ve seen so many posts about Mon-El being a misogynist, abusive, and toxic (like, WHAT THE HELL???), and recently I’ve seen people pop up here and there and saying that Kara being with Mon-El somehow went against the show’s “feminism”. This even goes to the point of saying that Kara shouldn’t be with Mon-El, a guy she seems to genuinely like, and instead be with Lena when she is obviously straight.

But we’ll come to that later. First, let’s look at what feminism is. Here are the couple of definitions I’ve found online:

the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
-Merriam Webster

a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.
-
Wikipedia

any ideology that seeks total equality in rights for women and people who self-identify as women, usually through improving the status of females. Feminism is rooted in ending men’s historical power over women
-Rational Wiki

As you see, feminism isn’t about demonizing men, it is about getting men and women to the same level in terms of rights. Men and women, and all other genders, should be equal in what they are and they aren’t allowed to do/feel/say etc. That in no way means women can’t be with men, that they need to be single if they want to be strong and independent (or be with other women) or being with a man undermines their strength and makes them weak. No. Just no. And that is a really, really unhealthy message to the young girls of the generation.

So, let me make a list of misconceptions about feminism, and let’s go through why it’s wrong to think that:

Women should be single in order to be strong and independent. 
Um, no. Just no. I don’t know what you think strength means, but it certainly doesn’t mean not ever loving someone and being in a relationship. You can still be with a man and be strong and independent. One doesn’t exclude the other. This is such a wrong message to give to girls, making them feel bad for loving someone, making them think that somehow that love is wrong and makes them weak. It doesn’t. Being with a man doesn’t make you dependent on them. You choose to be dependent on them or not. As long as you’re treated equally, as long as you have the say in the relationship as much as your boyfriend/husband does, as long as you want the relationship and you’re happy, it’s more than okay, it’s great

Now how does this ties to Karamel? Well, as far as I can see, Kara is more than happy with Mon-El. I haven’t watched season 1 in a very long time, but I can assure you that I haven’t seen her laugh this much around anyone. It’s seen in her face, you can see it in the way she smiles at/around him. Now how is that a bad thing? Would you really rather Kara feel sad instead of being with Mon-El? HOW IS THAT FEMINISM??? Women have the right to do the things that make them happy, be with people that make them happy, and if Mon-El is that person for her then WHY THE HELL SHOULD SHE NOT BE WITH HIM??? She chose him, right? We saw it in the last two episodes. She wanted to be with him. If she didn’t want Mon-El, the poor boy given her a lot of chances to back down, from accepting just being partners with her to stepping back when he thought she didn’t think they would be a good match. If she truly wanted that, you can bet that Kara would back down, just like she did with Winn, just like she did with James. Are you really so blind to realize that saying that Mon-El forced the relationship on Kara actually UNDERMINES HER CHARACTER? HER CHOICES? You are all obsessed on Kara being a feminism icon, how is her doing WHAT SHE WANTS is going against that? Her actions actually teach girls to be brave about their feelings, to go for what they want. 

Women shouldn’t be with men, they’re bad (but that only extends to white and straight men and not POC/LGBT+, because somehow those things exclude you from that “men” category).
Okay, why? Why shouldn’t women be with men if they want to be with men? Isn’t that, I don’t know, taking away their right? Isn’t feminism about giving women right, allowing them to do what they want? What if I’m straight? What if I want to be with men? Am I not allowed? I just don’t understand this, because as far as I can see, not all men are bad. There are some bad men that you should stay away, that’s true, but that doesn’t extend to everyone. I have many guy friends that respect me, support me, love me for who I am. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but that’s merely because I don’t really like someone right now (that’s a choice as well. If I liked someone, I’d definitely want to be with them). So if Kara likes Mon-El, why shouldn’t she be with her? Just because he’s white and straight? How does that equal to bad? I’m a very pragmatic person, and I can’t really see the logic there. Racism was bad because all humans should be equal, regardless of their skin color, beliefs, etc. Saying that Mon-El is abusive and toxic just because he’s white is also racism. It’s a different kind, but it’s still a prejudice against a certain race. That’s what racism is, right? Here’s the definition:

prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior

Now that doesn’t mean that I think Mon-El is perfect. He’s not, not by far. But again, which one of us is perfect? Think about your best friends/boyfriends/girlfriends/family. Are all of them perfect? I’m gonna bet that they’re not. I love my best friend to the moon and back and do anything for her, yet that doesn’t mean I think her every action is right, that she can’t make a mistake. She does make mistakes. But I forgive her, because at the end of the day anyone can make mistakes. I might be angry at what she did, I might not approve it, but that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna leave her for it. I’ll point out that maybe she should’ve done it differently, and she’ll listen to me because she’ll know I want the best with her. Same happens when I make a mistake. I’m saying this because, as I’ve said, Mon-El isn’t perfect. He wasn’t a good person in the past, that is true. He even said it several times. That doesn’t mean he can’t change for good. M’gann had fought for White Martians, slaughtered Green Martians, yet I don’t see anyone accusing her for that, because she’s changed. Why can’t we extend the same courtesy to Mon-El? Why can’t we forgive him as well? It doesn’t make sense. Yes, he’s made mistakes. Yes, I don’t approve all of his actions. I was pretty mad at him when Kara found out he was beating people up for money. I was mad at him when he went after Mxy to fight and kill him. But I forgave him, because he was only human. Had feelings like a human, at least. He was jealous of Mxy. Can you blame him? If you were dating someone, and suddenly this beautiful, talented, and generally perfect person showed up and claimed they wanted to be with your lover, wouldn’t you be jealous? I would be. And it was pretty big of Mon-El to admit that he was jealous because he thought he couldn’t give Kara what Mxy could give her. 

All in all, yes, Mon-El made mistakes. But that doesn’t make him a bad person, just like the mistakes Kara made, the mistakes Barry made or Oliver made doesn’t make them bad people. Barry went back in time and really messed history up, yet I’m sure many people that hate on Mon-El forgave him. Oliver killed many people in the past, yet no one judges him for that. Why is Mon-El so different? 

And also, related to this point about not being with men, should I remind you that in the show Kara is straight? Is that too hard to understand? She never once showed interest to any women, not in a sexual way, except in some people’s dreams maybe? As a bisexual I know what it looks like to be attracted to women. I don’t see that in Kara. Is that a wrong thing? HELL NO! Why the hell being straight the wrong thing? Why the hell is that when people yell “WE SHOULD RESPECT LGBT+ PEOPLE” it’s right & honorable, but when us Karamel shippers point out that Kara is straight (so far) and we should respect her choices as well that we get roasted? Or branded homophobics? Do you people know what you’re talking about? I’m all for LGBT+ couples being represented in TV shows, but not by making an obviously straight character suddenly homosexual, or bisexual. No. Just no. That’s beyond forced. If you want to have a LGBT+ character on your show, then build up to it. Don’t force it down our throats. I don’t see writers taking that road with Kara. And frankly, that’s okay. Being straight is okay, it doesn’t make you a devil incarnate. It’s normal, just as being LGBT+ is normal. It’s not so different.

As a last point, I want to say to all of the people spreading hate and saying that Karamel is racist/homophobic, why are you doing that instead of supporting couples that are LGBT+ or POC? Spreading hate to straight white couples doesn’t earn you anything. Aren’t Iris&Barry dating in the Flash? Isn’t Sara bisexual? Isn’t Alex lesbian? And there’s also the thing between Nate and Amaya in LoT. Why don’t you go support those couples to show your love? Is it so hard to understand that hating on white&straight people actually undermine your cause? We should not promote LGBT+ and POC couples by hating straight and white couples, we should do that by supporting LGBT+ and POC couples. We shouldn’t promote feminism by hating men, we should promote it by supporting strong, independent women. Kara is a strong, independent woman, just like Alex, just like Maggie, just like Sara and Amaya and Caitlin and Iris and Felicity and Thea and more and more people in the DCTV universe. These are women that decide for themselves, that don’t take shit from anyone, that is open to love and relationships but don’t let men control them, that aren’t afraid to say no to the things they don’t want and pursue the things they want… We should support that. 

Warning: flashing image below!




Chapter Three of a Fatal_Error has Occurred will start in a few weeks!

Taking a break before starting this past chapter made a HUGE difference in how quickly, efficiently, and stress-free creating updates was for me because I spent time writing a script, sketching updates ahead of time, and getting organized. So that’s how I’m going to approach this upcoming chapter as well :) This’ll also give me a chance to just draw and derp around and have a bit of fun with the asks, which I’ve missed doing :D

Also, we’ve finally reached the point in the story that I can start introducing some other story elements that I’d like to explore, like the File Not Found comic. And I think ya’ll will be interested to see what I have in mind as well ;) But this requires some pretty careful planning, and I want to make sure I get it right, and at the level of quality I hold myself to. So look out for announcements about this in the weeks to come~

Along with all of this (and on a more personal note) I’ve got a LOT of things going on in my life right now, both blog/comic related and not, and I just need some time to take care of things right now so that I can keep working on my art in the future the way that I want to :) It’s nothing bad, I promise, but as a seasoned procrastinator it’s just important that I take some things seriously and handle my potato business like the potato I am.

Anywhoo! As for the main comic, ya’ll will know when I’m ready to get things started once I post the Chapter Three cover :3 I thank ya’ll in advance for your patience! <3

Twist & Shout ** Very Important**

hello guys <3 

a few years ago @hellfires and i published the fanfiction work “twist and shout”.

since then we’ve been overwhelmed by the response our fic has garnered (good, bad & ugly). 

that’s why, today, i wanted to take the time and say that some changes will be coming regarding the fic and it’s availability online. 

it’s due to circumstances we couldn’t predict, but at times that is how life works. 

the point is, even if it isn’t ideal, we will be making the fic available as a full novel for purchase within the next few weeks/months. what we’re asking right now is for your support. that same support you’ve given the fic so far. we know many of you have been asking for this for a long time, so we are hoping that your excitement remains!

for now, please pass this post around to as many sources as you can. it is important, also, for people to know with publication comes the chore of scrubbing and erasing the fic from the internet as much as we can to avoid any legal troubles. if you have a pdf of the fic we ask that you do not post it to the internet anymore. please tell your friends this. we are hoping that the novelization will lead to response as much as the fic. 

raven and i are going to work very hard to keep the integrity of the fic intact while still making enough changes that it is viable! it will still be the story you love, with a bit of a makeover. 

thanks for you love & respect. please continue to support us on this venture <3 we couldn’t do it without you. at this time raven and i are still in conversation so we won’t be able to answer all your questions right away, but if you have any major concerns or interest please come to us for an official answer <3 thank you again xoxo

hannah & raven

Hello Tomco tag and followers, it’s been a while! I apologize for not reblogging things recently, I kinda shelved this blog for a bit. But now I’m back! I don’t have a full week planned, as I’m a little late to the draw and Valentine’s Day is in exactly a week. So instead I will propose only a few days rather than an entire seven days. I don’t know what the “Star Bomb” has in store for us but I think we could all use some fluffy, romantic content, right? So here we go, with sweet Valentine’s Day related prompts.

Day 1 - Feb 12 - Family Introductions

Marco and Tom are dating now! How does the introduction to each other’s families go? Good? Bad? Up to you! You can write about Tom’s parents, or Marco’s or both, whatever you want. Heck even Star is considered part of the family really so they could even tell her. The world is yours!

Day 2 - Feb 13 - Date Night

It’s the day before Valentine’s Day and Tom and Marco elect to spend it together. What do they do, where do they go? Are there gifts? Food? Just lots of snuggling? Your choice.

Day 3 - Feb 14 - Valentine’s Day

The big day is here. This one is entirely for you! Give me your fluffiest, cutest, most romantic ideas. Sharing chocolate, kissing over coffee, holding hands on a romantic boat ride, watching the sunset/sunrise, whatever the heck you want. Hell, maybe they get a bit flirty and seductive~ (caveat: NSFW is allowed but please tag it appropriately and put it under a read more)

Day 4 - Feb 15 - Wild Card

Whatever other V-day tropes strike your fancy. Do they wake up from a night cuddled up together? Are they sick from all the chocolate? Do they just do tired forehead kisses and arrange their next date? Does one of them propose?? The power is yours.

So ye, those are the days this time around. Next time I’ll get this together further in advance. Now for the guidelines. Same as last time:

1. Please use the Tomco tag on everything you post for a week. You may of course use main show tags, such as svtfoe and Star Vs, since they are from the show, but just make sure Tomco is also tagged for blacklisting purposes.

2. You may also want to use ‘Tomco Week’ as a tag as well, just to make it easier for me to find your work. I’ll be reblogging everything on the relevant days.

3. You may post entries early, they just won’t be reblogged here until the relevant day comes up. Feel free to shoot me a message but odds are I’ll like it so I can find it later.

4. If you miss the day, don’t worry. I will reblog them as soon as you get it posted. Again, shoot me a message if I miss it. I’ll be tagging things by day for searching purposes.

5. I’m gonna say that NSFW is allowed, but nothing too explicit, please. I’m not going to check ages but if you want to post more mature content, just make sure it’s got the proper tags. I do want this blog to be enjoyed by all shippers, and some may not want to see explicit stuff. Let’s keep it tasteful.

I’ll accept fanart, fanfiction, cosplay, videos, heck, songs, whatever you wanna share.

That about covers it. I can’t wait to see what you come up with. :D

Sweeter

Here’s 4K+ words worth of slightly angsty smut, yal. Please don’t be shy to let me know what you think and above all else, ENJOY. :)

-Kay


“Harry, I am so, so sorry.”

Your voice chokes with emotion as you search for the right words.

“I know I messed up… I know… God, I know.”

You’ve been pleading for Harry’s forgiveness for hours now, following him around his home, heart hanging heavy in your chest. Now you’re standing in the middle of his gym, apologizing in just about every way you know how while he concedes nothing but one-word replies. It’s been this way all morning and you’re starting to feel tired, crushed between a boulder and the hardest place.

“I just want you to see that I wasn’t coming from a malicious place,” you plead, tears starting to prickle the corners of your eyes as Harry’s feet pound full speed against the treadmill beside you.

Harry wears a scowl as he ignores you, chest heaving as he blows air out of circled, crimson lips, face flushed red with anger and exhaustion. If this were any other day, you would stare in reverent appreciation for the way he looks shirtless in low slung sweats. Sweat trickles down his bare chest and the lean muscles of his torso flex and stretch with each stride, making you wish so badly that could reach out and touch him. But today is today - a day you’ve fucked up royally - and you don’t dare put a hand on him when he’s looking right through you as if you’re not even there.

Keep reading

2

Some warmup pearls I did in october before working on the pearl visit update! also a certain grape.

the second one is from a scrapped/changed plot bit i wanted to draw anyway. the story doesnt need to be any sadder right now… so Berry lapeep is ok.

more crystal gem antics coming soon @askbirdkeeperperi