i want people to understand me for once

Hey, y’all.  I was hoping to get a little help with something.  I know I’ve talked about my boyfriend on here before, and about how he wants to understand gender, specifically non-binary gender, better.  He was raised in a very conservative household where anything straying from the male-female was regarded as “socialist propaganda” and strongly dismissed, and it wasn’t until just a few years ago that the concept of gender theory was even available to him.  Now, he’s very respectful of gender identity and he would never intentionally misgender someone because he’s not a dick, but he feels that he would benefit from understanding the issues surrounding gender in addition to accepting them.

He and I have had countless discussions on the subject.  We tend to agree on most things and we generally reach the same conclusions, but our processes for arriving at those conclusions are different.  He’s very intelligent, but we think differently.  I’m a very abstract and theoretical thinker, but he is more concrete.  It makes for some awesome discussions (y’all should come over for dinner sometime), but it also means that the sources I read to learn about and understand gender theory, those that use very theoretical and abstract language and points, are not helpful to him.

So, this is where you lot come in.  You curious, brilliant people.  I am looking for good articles or journals or even books on gender theory that are helpful to a concrete mind.  Or, if any of my non-binary followers are willing, someone to sit down and patiently have a conversation with the man.  Send me sources!

Ways Witchcraft Has Affected My Life

🗝My pleasure reading is now academic reading. After starting to lose the skill I once had, my reading comprehension has gone way up.

🗝 I get more done and finished more projects because the first step of something can be a spell. Spells are fun to do so I’m less likely to put it off. Once I’ve taken the first step, I have the motivation and momentum to see the rest of it through, something I used to struggle with.

🗝 I feel as if I have much more agency in my life. I can protect myself from toxic people and actively pull myself out of toxic mindsets much more easily than before.

🗝 Articulating what I want in spells has helped me better understand what I want out of life or what I should be truly focusing on.

🗝I’m much, MUCH better at cooking. I can feed myself on more than just ramen and toast, which makes me healthier and happier.

🗝I have more motivation to give back to the community, through charity or service work, or just being more mindful about the environment and supporting local businesses.

🗝I have a much deeper understanding of history and cultures outside of my own.

🗝 I used to be a slob, but now I regularly clean my room and keep my space tidy because I recognize that a messy room affects me negatively and hurts my magic. Also, my room always smells excellent.

🗝 Whenever I work with deities I practice ritual self hygiene. So the little things I used to ignore before bed don’t get ignored as much.

🗝I have a much deeper appreciation for the little things in life, happy coincidences, tiny blessings. I notice them much more and am thankful.

🗝 I have met so many amazing people and have formed wonderful friendships around the craft.

In the end, when people debate if magic is real or not, who cares? It’s undeniably producing real results.

anonymous asked:

i've been repeatedly called offensive for pointing out the non existence of reverse racism to my WHITE british teachers. I straight up told them they couldn't be oppressed, they seriously "offended" and it is going to a) affect my grades bc i made a presentation on it and my teacher got mad b) possibly get me in a ton of trouble because another teacher reported me to the head of school. I genuinely hate white people at this point and i want them to go away forever.

Well I don’t know how to solve the issues of your teachers and school but I can back you up on the other crap they’re denying. Expect a long post.

So, let’s take a look at this reverse racism lol. Sorry, it makes me laugh whenever white people bring it up because first of all, society and the systems and institutions that create it were built to cater to white people because they had the most power (and still do). It is necessary to understand these power structures and once we understand them, we will see that reverse racism in fact does NOT exist because white people are not oppressed in any systematic way or form.

The demographics in America are indeed changing but society is still assumed to be white and therefore, systems and institutions are still built to cater towards white people, giving them an advantage. This is known as white privilege. And it doesn’t matter if a white person’s life is economically tough because economics is only ONE factor that plays into the course of an entire lifetime. A single factor is not enough to offset white privilege that has been awarded to white people for hundreds of years that continue today. Let’s look at some resources…

Reverse Racism:

White Privilege:

Now let’s look at your British teachers and what their ancestors did:

I can go all day with this but you get the idea.

And not that I’m trying to put the spotlight on Germany but the atrocities of World War II are taught to German children in school with “great depth” and is mandatory. Now if white people were taught and actually understood about all the crimes their ancestors did, how it all benefits them today, and how it all spills over in today’s world (especially in America), then perhaps white people would be a little more sympathetic to and understanding of everyone else, instead of denying everything.

You see, white America does everything it can to erase all the atrocities it committed (even those being committed today) while conditioning white people to deny when said atrocities are brought up. It is both erasure and denial of white supremacy, white privilege, colonialism, genocide, racism, and many other things that keep white people in power and the rest of us oppressed. In fact, the moment white people see such terms, they automatically become defensive and harbor a state of denial, which is proof of their conditioning.

Update: Another anon offered some advice.

Angry Asian Guy

And in the eyes of many, it seemed chaotic. Most would’ve given up, but we didn’t. We fought; we put every ounce of our hearts into keeping what may seem to have been extinct. What we carried with us was no burden, it was an extremely rare feeling that does not seem to exist anymore. Love. People claim to understand it, but love, it does not ask nor should you ever question it. Through an eternal life, the heart patiently waits to touch it’s second half. Once it has found it’s second half, like heroin, it has become addicted, attached and destructive. I never questioned love, nor have I tried to stop it. It terrifies me to try, because all my life, my heart has never wanted something so passionately. Behind all light there is darkness. We were the single star in complete darkness. Let the chaos begin.

I know some of you will think I’m being dramatic but you have to at least try to understand I saw Even getting the season as me, as someone who has a mental disorder, finally being heard for my struggle.

Disorders on TV and film are always 1 of 3 things at least: 1. downplayed 2. dramatised 3. inaccurately represented.

I wanted, just once, for it to be done right and I truly believe Julie would have taken the time to give me that.

A few episodes touching on it isn’t enough, I saw after the finale that people were saying ‘okay so Even’s fine now’ NO. Mental disorders are never that simple, there’s no magic fix, they are something people struggle with every day, even if they’re on medication, that only eases it, it doesn’t magically go away.

That’s why I wanted an Even season, so people can see the every day struggle of a disorder, from the perspective of someone with one. Disorders are always from an outside perspective and the person who has the disorder rarely gets to explain how it really feels; at the end of the day, that’s all I wanted… to be heard.

“i have seen how love changes people,” she says. “and how it falls just shy of killing them. you’ll have to forgive me for not wanting any of that.”

“so you throw yourself far, far away from people?” he scoffs.

she simply smiles. “once you’ve been hurt like i have,” she says softly, “maybe you will understand.”

—  june 18th 2016
Why I Came Out As Poly

- Because I’m not ashamed of being polyamorous, and anyone who thinks that I should be doesn’t need to be in my life.

- Because I want acceptance and understanding of polyamory, and that will only happen once monogamous people begin to realize that healthy non-monogamous relationships are not only possible but prevalent.

- Because I don’t want to hide my excitement about anyone who isn’t my husband, and I don’t want to have to refer to a partner as being nothing more than a friend. I do not want to diminish any relationships outside of my marriage by being secretive.

- Because I do not want people to mistakenly believe that I support infidelity or deceit.

- Because there is nothing more satisfying than being unapologetically me.

Rant Ahead.

I have posted about this before. More than once. I was nice about it, because I truly believed that some people just didn’t realize the problem. I thought once I mentioned it, they would stop. I also believe that if you have an issue, you should simply try to solve it kindly.

99% of you are wonderful. I feel very lucky to have you in my SPN family, and I don’t know where I would be without you. Thank you for letting me write fan fiction for you, because it is something I love, and something I want to be able to share with you all.

But then there’s that pesky 1%. So since they didn’t understand my gentle nudging, let me say it plainly.

1. Fan fiction writers don’t work for you. You aren’t paying for a service. So if you want to continue to receive that service, do not treat us like employees. The message I got last night of “why haven’t you posted in so long?” was rude and pressuring, as if I owe you a certain volume of fics. I don’t. Messages other writers get about “Why haven’t you written this prompt?” make us feel guilty if we simply had no inspiration for it, and makes them feel like they have to write things they aren’t in love with. They don’t.

2. Fan fiction writers have bios on their blogs, they have search bars, they have links to things at the top of their page. LOOK AT THOSE. WE BEG OF YOU.You don’t need to send a ton of messages (seriously, a blog with a few thousand followers gets three or four of these kinds of messages a day at least) asking about “where can I find this” and “can you link me to this”. If you can’t find it, by all means tell us that and we’ll be happy to help. But I won’t spend all of my free time searching my own blog for fics that you could have just as easily searched for, simply because you are too lazy to do it. That includes master lists. We tag them for a reason. I don’t have a link to my master list on my blog because it is too big to link everything on one page. I can only link to separate pages in my bio, not posts. Since it won’t fit on one page, I can’t put it in my bio. But if you search “master list”, it magically appears.

3. Learn manners. There is a huge difference between “Hey! I tried searching, but I couldn’t seem to find your master list. Could you please link me to it? Thanks so much!” and “Masterlist????” Do not demand things. Do not talk to me like I am a search engine. If you don’t greet me, and say please or thank you if you are asking me for something, I am going to ignore you. It’s rude. I am a human, and you should speak to me that way. Again, we don’t work for you. And even if we did, expecting you to be polite is not unreasonable.

4. Do not send hate. Ever. I don’t think I need to expand on that.

I hate that I have to write this. I hate that I have to sound mean to get a point across. I’m not a mean person, I promise, and anyone who interacts with me regularly on Tumblr can tell you that. But I cannot keep checking my inbox daily to find twenty or thirty messages that are rude, demanding, ridiculous, and unnecessary. It makes this whole thing seem like too much work.

Again, to that 99% that this does not pertain to, I love you, and I hope you aren’t offended by this post. It’s not my intention to alienate anyone, because I love getting messages, and I love talking to all of you. Truly. Send me all the messages. Just not the ones I mentioned above.

Love you all!

Tagging some writers so I don’t feel alone, lol. @unadulteratedstorycollector @littlegreenplasticsoldier @oriona75 @kittenofdoomage @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @mrswhozeewhatsis

I’m sorry if it’s confusing to understand at all -.- next time I’ll plan ahead instead of just making it up as I go.

I used to be against drawing from refs, but once I started doing it, I realized how useful it is. I mostly draw faces, and using refs has helped me to understand how the different planes of faces work, which has made my drawings look better/more anatomically correct. 

HOWEVER, don’t become dependent on references, because there won’t always be the perfect one you need. (Not to say there’s anything wrong with people who only draw from refs, but then, that goes back to knowing what you want to do with your art).

ALSO, keep in mind that drawing from reference doesn’t have to be some rigid thing. You don’t have to aim for photorealism if you don’t want to. I like to stylize a bit by making the eyes large and using colors like dark blue or purple instead of straight black.

ONE MORE THING! Don’t fall into the trap of drawing from reference all the time when you feel like your original drawings aren’t good enough. One artist I love (I think it was Sycra?? not completely sure tho, it’s been a while) said, basically, that drawing from reference is easy because the reference has all the answers. You don’t have to figure out anything for yourself. If you’re like me and you want to draw amazing pictures from imagination, you should know that just because you can copy a photo, doesn’t mean that’s how good your art is.

that’s all for now, k thanks bye lol

I am so ready to live. I want to love someone so much it feels like my chest is on fire. I want to be so happy my mouth hurts from smiling and my eyes look like fireworks on New Year’s, bright enough to light up a whole city. Western philosophy is a bunch of pretentious concepts created by mainly white men who don’t understand my situation, much less this generation, but to hell with it. Let’s philosophize everything. Tell me about what you want; what keeps you up at night, what makes your skin boil? Tell me about all of it and I’ll listen.

I want to run until I can’t breathe and hum my songs in front of stadiums of people and write until my hands bleed ink. I want to feel free for once. Let’s get drunk on a balcony in an exotic city, sneaking in kisses between drinks of golden champagne while the moon sleeps above us. Let’s dance on top of cars at sunset. Let’s stay up so late that starlight tumbles from our lips, silvery words spilling from our mouths. 

I am so ready to live. What am I waiting for?

“with you” - 5SOS visual smut+imagine

just a lil thing because i’m too lazy to write anything and you guys deserve a little something extra :) thanks for all of you who have stuck around with this blog aha so keep reading and enjoy!!

its not the best work/writing i’ve done but the gifs are hella cute


Keep reading

Polyamory sentence starters
  • You know I love you, right? Because... I think I'm attracted to someone else.
  • My wife/husband and I want you to be our boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Have you ever tried dating two people at once before?
  • Wait a minute, so the both of you want me?
  • I'm so confused, I don't understand it. I want you, but I want them, too.
  • Are you sure they're not going to get jealous over us being together?
  • Wait, so how does this work? Are you just going to share me?
  • If I wanted to try kissing both of you, could I?
  • I don't want to get between the two of you, but I love you. Both of you.
  • Remember that guy/girl from work I was telling you about? I want to invite them to join us.
  • I can't sleep without both of you there.
  • It's not cheating if we have permission to be together.
  • Wait, is this a date? Did the two of you invite me out on a date?
  • We were wondering if you'd like to come home with us. Both of us.
  • We don't have the usual sort of relationship, we're open to inviting others.
  • I'm not sure who's eyefucked me more tonight, you or your boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • I've never known of three people making it work before, but I want to try.
Why We Fragile Humans Fascinate Spirits

Without a doubt, humans are rather fragile creatures. We’re bold, we’re dangerous even, but we’re also rather… well… weak.

I’m talking in physical strength, of course. Mentally we can be insanely powerful. But the main point of this blog is understanding why all these other spirits… these all-powerful Demon Lords, wise Centaurs, warrior Angels, and nearly immortal Elves… see us humans as worthy companions when we are so “little” compared to them. I see people ask this all the time. “Why would a god-level Djinn hold any interest in little ol’ me? I’m nothing special.”

I want to start out with a quote. A friend of mine once asked, “Why are humans so fragile?”

In response, an unearthly friend replied, “Fragility is what makes humans so great, and is what makes them risk-takers. Creatures like that daredevil aspect of humans. That’s why they want to be humans themselves, or eat them depending on what creatures we’re talking about.”

To fully understand how our companions see us, we need to step out of our shoes and into theirs. To us, humans are mundane. They’re boring. They’re ordinary. Well did you ever think that if you had been born an Elf, you’d find all other Elves boring, mundane, and ordinary? Probably, because you would be used to the idea and still seeking something new and different in your life. I have a couple Angel friends who say that they find human personalities rather mind-blowing. There are concepts, interpretations, and emotions that they don’t associate with on a daily basis like we do.

I could go into a bigger discussion about how all of us humans aren’t really just straight “human,” but I’m going to let that slide for another time.

The point is, our spirit companions love to interact with us, despite their statuses and titles, because they find us interesting. Some of them even fall in love with us. There are all sorts of interesting little quirks, scents, and emotions that come off of us all the time, and our spirits are intrigued by them for many different reasons. Maybe we taste delectible to vampires. Maybe our scent is divine to werewolves. Maybe our philosophical views on what lies beyond the Universe is deeply moving to scholarly Elves and wise Angels. And for ETs, maybe we’re the daredevils that they wish they can be someday.

So next time you find yourself asking “Why?” when a spirit wants to be with you, try asking them yourself, and see what they say. Just take a little while to listen. They might even show you in a way that you find very non-human, which is why we love them. We are fascinated by what lies beyond the Earthan realm, and they are fascinated by what lies within. Life on Earth is not easy at all, so it’s perfectly normal for a spirit to respect you for your humanity, rather than be bored out of their wits because we are mundane. To them, we are not. We are special, we are daring, and we are full of life and learning.

An update from Tan Jiu 28/12


A lot of people say, besides manhwa, they want to understand me more, and get more daily updates, I will have more. (Alternate translation: A lot of people say, besides manhwa, they want to understand it more and get more daily updates, I will have more.) How do I say this, drawing is a very exhausting thing, especially a long running drawing, it isn’t like it was before, where [I could] just wait for inspiration every once in awhile, and draw one or two pieces. After drawing nonstop for a few years, the pressure is extremely high, but that’s okay.  

Translation credited with thanks to @subtextually

So I just came across this this evening … It makes me wonder: If this is a statement from Tan Jiu, who is very private but does tend to share very small personal details/posts on Weibo, and who posts proportionally less than Old Xian (I think this is a quality-check wait), what are Old Xian’s sentiments regarding updates and fans’ requests/demands? I’m really happy Tan Jiu came out and said something like this; I think fans really need to understand the pressures that artists come under – especially when their work becomes work

I hope Old Xian feels, too, that if the pressures of releasing for 19 Days became too much or very difficult for them, that they could release something like this and let us know how they feel. With very, very little personal information/insight to go on, it’s easy to see Old Xian as their updates, and nothing else. It’s a little bit concerning. 

the road to recovery and becoming a more resilient person always brings me to “you have to learn to focus more on yourself”

and by that its a lot of things. forgiving myself. allowing myself to feel emotions, even the ugly ones. letting myself be. embracing the good things and accepting the bad. and accepting that i might never be perfect but i am me, and there is only one of me, and that my life is valuable.

ive always thought i was replacable. maybe because there always seemed to be someone “better”. ive always felt like i wasnt good enough for anything. like someone who was everything i wanted to be would come along and take my place and id turn to dust.

i dont know. i dont like to focus on myself because in my mind, im sad. im angry. im petty. im fragile. and yes i am. but isnt everyone once and a while?

so many people around me find things to love about me and i still dont understand. hearing it makes me feel so happy but i wish i could believe it without needing validation. i wish i could feel good enough for myself.

i want to love myself, so badly. i want to be kind to myself for once in my gd life. 

so. how am i today?

Alpha/Beta/Omega sentence meme!

Feel free to add your own!

  • “Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to be an (alpha/beta/omega) instead of an (alpha/beta/omega)?”
  • “What’s it like? Going through (heat/rut)?”
  • “I think the world would be a better place if we didn’t have alphas or omegas- imagine, everyone as a beta!”
  • “I said no!”
  • “I don’t understand how people can cheat once they’re mated- everyone else smells wrong.”
  • “I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but I want to try again; I want to court you, please? Or at least be friends! I don’t care that you’re an (alpha/beta/omega), I want to know you.”
  • “I’m tired of dealing with my (heat/rut) alone, could you please help me?”
  • “I like it when you get jealous/possessive/protective~”
  • “You know… Next time we have sex… I wouldn’t mind being bitten, we’re practically mates anyway right?”
  • “Did you bite me?!”
  • “I have goals in life and I’m not going to let being an (alpha/beta/omega) slow me down!”
  • “Some days I just want to say ‘fuck biology’ and settle down with a Beta, less drama with them y’know?”
  • “So I’m not an (alpha/beta/omega), that doesn’t mean we can’t be together!”
  • “Wow you smell really good today; new perfume/cologne?
  • “If potential mates can’t handle the fact that we smell like each other because we’re friends then they aren’t worthy mates.”
  • “Remember those sleepovers we had when we were younger, and we’d whisper about what we thought we’d present as, tease each other about what we thought our mates would be like… We should do that again, we’ve got lots more to whisper about now.”
  • “Omega’s aren’t slaves and they’re not porcelain dolls!”
  • “Not all alpha’s are controlling egotistical assholes!”
  • “The next alpha to look at me like I’m a piece of meat is going to get my foot up their ass.”
  • “I’m sorry if I freaked you out, I didn’t like the way that (alpha/beta/omega) was looking at you- it creeped me out and I didn’t know if you felt comfortable around them.”
  • “I don’t care if you do or don’t have a knot, I’m not interested in sex with anyone.”
  • “You DO realize I’m aromantic, right? I don’t want a mate.”
  • “Oh gods, did your heat just start?”
  • “I love how submissive/dominant you are.”
  • “Can we just cuddle tonight? I want more than just sex with you.”
  • “Slick tastes really gross, does it taste better to alpha’s/omega’s?”
  • “Knots sound so scary, are they really worth all the hype…?”
  • “If you had kids one day what do you hope they’ll be?”
  • “Can you walk me to my car please/walk me home? I get nervous being alone at night…”
  • “I want you as my mate.”
  • “What do I have to do to make her/him/them realize I want her/him/them to claim me?!”
  • “I still want a wedding.”
  • “You’re the only (alpha/beta/omega) I trust with this…”
Javier Pereira

When you start watching Good Behavior, brace yourself, because you’re about to fall in love with a hitman. Javier kills people for money, but he’s the perfect gentleman, father material, and the guy I’d want to bring home to mom and dad. Once you binge the show, you’ll understand how it’s possible. Juan Diego Botto is a complete revelation. He’s the great surprise of the year for me. I always knew Michelle Dockery was talented, and I’m genuinely impressed by her range, but I never even knew JDB existed until this show. I had no idea how deprived we were without him! This man is Emmy material and it’s literal fireworks every time he shares the screen with Michelle. Thank you, Good Behavior, for bringing him to the American masses.

Originally posted by anjelia3

Why is therapy so stigmatised? Everytime I mention therapy to someone, I get this look of pity. It’s like seeking help is a bad thing?! Therapy literally saved my life. If I didn’t go to group therapy I would not have met a great group of girls who understand me and love me unconditionally. My “group” friends are like family to me. I can tell them anything; no judgements. If I didn’t meet my therapist I would never have been able to walk in the dark alone, I wouldn’t have managed to limit my self harming (I barely do it anymore; once my 2 open wounds heal I WILL HAVE NONE ON MY BODY; no picking, no burning etc). If it wasn’t for therapy I wouldn’t have been able to accept events in my childhood, or my sexuality/promiscuity. Therapy is helping me accept my sexual assault. It’s helping me accept myself. Therapy makes me want a future.

I just don’t understand why people look at me with such disgust when I tell them I’m in therapy. Therapy saved my life and I’m proud of that.

my head’s a mess and my heart’s upset
my body’s a pro at feeling upset
and as everybody else has said,
my heart wants what it wants.

now i’m numb and insecure,
you made me feel like i was yours
until i asked if you were mine,
then you ditched me for “some time”

i don’t understand why i’m still attached to you
the only thing you’re good at is making me feel blue.
maybe i should take those pills after all,
tastes like candy, if you drink enough alcohol

i wish you could have learned to speak your mind,
now i sit here remembering something i left behind
i met a guy once who told me about the billions of people on my planet,
he asked me why i would let one take me down

but if you’ve been torn to pieces
and your done being thrown aside
you’ll understand
like i have 

i don’t understand what its like i guess
but sometimes i wish i didn’t forget
i wish i could turn to you for help
but you’ve been gone for ages now

and my eyes are wet like the ocean
but i’ve been told, just once or twice
that i’m too cold to care
and i’m shivering, maybe i’ve been frostbitten