i want my wife to look like that one day

Introducing TD and Chastity Play, What i did wrong......

To me FLR has SO many different angles and when introducing your partner its important to be careful. See where as i took my time, slowly introduced more and more bits into it before eventually plucking up the courage to put the cage on and show her, i still made some real big mistakes.

See my wife is not a Domme, i dont really want to know about her previous life before me but im kinda guessing im the first person that really wants to explore all these roads and possibility with her. I originally made this Blog to share things i found sexy in some way shape or form with her and looking back now i should have kept it more Vanilla and slowly introduced my interest in things like pegging. See you follow all these people then one day they reblog some Sissy stuff, some Anal Torture, Some Ball Busting. From my wife’s perspective she probably sees that and thinks FUCKING HELL.

The reason i am writing this is because somethings have been lost in translation, see she was under the impression that i wanted to become her bitch, a groveling sissy whore who wanted to wear her clothes and make up and suck strapons all day long. Now if that’s your thing im all for it but that wasn’t what i wanted.  

I came across chastity play and tease and denial play a while back, i have always been aware of bondage and always had a thing for tying or being tied up sexually. I saw it as a fun way for a male and female to have a laugh, be intimate and grow together as a couple. As much as i love her Locking me up, tying me up, teasing me and laughing as i quiver on the bed in a desperate need to cum only to deny me for another day i also would love to do the same for her. Its about exploring each others bodies, each others fantasies.

Its only fun for me if its fun for her, if she wants to lock me for a day, a week, a month or a year ill play the game as long as she finds it exiting and gets a kick out of it. If she doesn’t want it its just not going to work. But don’t give up that easily pick it up and put it down, its keeps it exiting. After a chat with my wife in the week she said she likes the cage but doesn’t want a bitch of a husband, so i explained the above and below to her and now i think it makes sense.

I am writing this because i get lots of messages from people asking how did i break the news? how did i get her on board? Truth is we are still working on it, still exploring it. I haven’t been in the cage for months, as real life is more important. This morning after our chats and fun this week i put it on.

I guess im very lucky to have such an amazing wife, i put it on gave her the keys and she smiled. That’s all i wanted. She is one of a kind, trusting and fucking gorgeous.

For anyone out there toying with this i hope this has helped, below are few images i have stolen from others. I hope they don’t mind. Good Luck and go have some fun.

I love making her moan, and its true i work harder when my dick is locked up and im working to earn a release, its common knowledge you put more effort into thngs if your getting something in return. (Or at least you think you are) 

Then there is this, after a night of teasing and a great time she didnt let you cum, your going to wake up in the morning and WANT to do this for her because your still super horny. You know your not going get to cum but pleasing her is at least some sexual activity.

Then on the other hand there is nothing sexier than doing the same to her, make her feel how you feel, i remember once back in the early days i edged my wife and then just turned the wand off and said nah, night night. She was mortified, grabbing my cock, trying her hardest to get me to fuck her. In the morning she woke up horny and we fucked. But it can work both ways.

This is also one that i agree with, the lust i have towards her, the want to constantly touch her, to kiss her its just amazing. Then once you cum its takes a good few days to get that back. Its the strongest drug i have ever felt and its awesome. 

I love it when she feels sexy the sexier she feels the more she glows the better the experience. 

Turn it into a game, a guessing game and have fun with it.

Tease him, if he is anything like me he will enjoy it.

But most importantly talk about it, discuss it find out what you both want from it and just have fun.

I guarantee it will bring you closer together. 

The signs as The Adventure Zone quotes
  • Aires: "I'm afraid nobody else will have me."
  • Taurus: "I find not killing people to be pretty easy. I do it every day."
  • Gemini: "Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard."
  • Cancer: "Suck my butt, Justin!"
  • Leo: "The ones looking for the truth, they're never the bad guys."
  • Virgo: "You're going to be amazing."
  • Libra: "I'll be having my body back, you undead fuck."
  • Scorpio: "The audience applauds hornily."
  • Sagittarius: "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Because I'm about to shoot you out of a cannon."
  • Capricorn: "I don't need your help, pal! I can fuck any onion I want!"
  • Aquarius: "Like I say to the wife before I get into bed, make room for Greg! 'Cause, uh, Greg's here."
  • Pisces: “Great, I grab some chairs. I grab furniture! Why are we looting? This isn’t a dungeon. People do business here! Just because you find money in a bank doesn't mean you can just take it with you."

anonymous asked:

Can you do some prompts about girls falling in love with other girls?

1) “You are so out of my league,” she said. A slightly dazzled smile crossed her lips. “Like, oh my god. I want to marry you one day.”
“And you are so off your head,” replied the other woman. Amused and a little concerned given the circumstances. “Wife.”
“Oh my god, I married you!?”
“It was a beautiful ceremony. On the beach. We had ice cream.”
“I love ice cream.” 
“Mm, if you can stay with me this time, I’ll get you some. How are you feeling?”


2) They were laughing about something stupid, curled up on the sofa. Stomach clenching, can’t breathe, no holding it back cackling when she caught the look on her best friend’s face. 
“What?”
“I - nothing. It’s stupid.”
“Well, now you have to tell me.”
“You just make me really happy, you know?” 
And suddenly she couldn’t breathe again for an entirely different reason. 


3) “If we were both gay we’d totally be going out.”
“…we are both gay. We are very very very gay.” There was a beat of silence. “Is this you asking me out?”
“Depends, is this you saying yes or no?” 
“Depends, do I get to kiss you if we’re going out?”
“I hear that’s the done thing, yeah. Probably cuddling too, if you can bear it.”
“Yeah, alright. Sure. You won me over.”


4) It started with dancing. She loved the dancing first - confident, sensual, a flash of eyes across the floor as the lights swayed above them. The arm that wrapped around her back and drew her in close, the lips that found hers like they’d done this a thousand times before. A conversation of touches and smiles, slow and unhurried. A name whispered against their ear like a promise.


5) “…you know,” said the woman. She glanced up from by the bed, sleeves rolled up to reveal arms tanned and lean from hard work in the sun. “When you said your bed was broken, I thought you meant it as a come on. What the hell did you do to it?” 
The other woman turned bright red. Clearing their throat, initially too flustered to reply. Which, well, might have been something of a reply. 


6) “You didn’t have to defend me, you know.” She was rather shocked that the other girl had, considering she couldn’t normally even raise her voice in a large group of people.
“Of course I did,” the girl replied. “It was the right thing to do.” 
She fell in love a little, then.


7) Leather jacket, red lipstick, leaned up against a motorcycle and suddenly she felt lightheaded. She swallowed hard as her date raised a brow, plucking the helmet off the seat and sauntering over to her. Her date placed it carefully on her head, fingers brushing warm against her throat as she clipped it into place. “Probably not quite the white pony you were dreaming of, princess, but it will do the trick.” 

ToG characters as Scottish tweets
  • Aelin: issue wi males that think it's acceptable to comment on how a girl looks when she's buzzin am not oot tae be stunnin am oot tae cut mad shapes
  • Rowan: my wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens
  • Aedion: losing a snap streak's up there wae losing a kidney
  • Lysandra: thy type of people who say shit like "girls over ___ weight shouldnt post selfies" are an actual human bollock
  • Manon: "u canny hate someone forever" aye a can watch me
  • Dorian: Dinny trust anyone that can bite ice cream pure terminator teeth
  • Chaol: "huvin one of they days" aye right man am huvin one of they lives
  • Gavriel: im at the age where people r askin "so what u doin with ur life" n im like mate am genuinely jus here for a laff x
I won't come into your store anymore, but no one else will either.

So I mentioned this story in a previous comment, and it was recommended that I post it here. So here we go…

A couple years back I bought my wife flowers for Valentine’s Day from a national florist that had affiliate florist shops all throughout the country (we’ll call the big company NF for national florist and the local florist LF). So the flowers get delivered, and they look like complete garbage. The arrangement was smaller than advertised, and the flowers were a few days from fresh and wilting. Now, in my opinion, it’s Valentine’s Day, the one day a year a florist NEEDS to be on point. So I call LF to complain. I wanted either a replacement arrangement, or a refund so I could go elsewhere to get decent looking flowers for my wife (the grocery store would have been better honestly).

When I called to complain, the person who answered the phone was very rude right from jump. I have to assume it was a crazy busy day for her, and my arrangement wasn’t the only one that had issues. The woman became very defensive, as if the flowers were a part of her soul and I was personally attacking it. I asked to speak to a manager, she replies “I’m the owner”. We continued to argue for the next couple minutes, when I threatened to stop payment on my CC. She said “alright, I’m going to refund you the money, but you’re NEVER allowed to step into my store again”. And hung up on me.

Alright bitch, I got you.

So I spend the next few hours on the phone with NF, bouncing all over the country from call center to call center moving one rung up the ladder of their corporate structure at a time. Until I get about 4 steps from the top, someone gives me a boost, and I got the actual number of the CEO of NF. I spend about 20 minutes on hold after speaking to the secretary and briefly explaining my situation.

I tell the CEO what happens, and he couldn’t have been nicer. I told him, I had ordered from different NF stores from many different states in the past, and was generally satisfied, and I felt like LF in no way represents the NF brand, and they should lose their affiliation. He did not immediately respond to that request, but said he would investigate the situation, and in the meantime send me flowers from a different florist locally within the NF brand. I received those flowers from a florist an hour away, within 2 hours, and they looked amazing. Better than I could have asked for. About 2 weeks later, I received a letter in the mail (I didn’t go into all this detail in my original comment, but the result is the same) and the letter apologized profusely, and thanked me for bringing this to their attention. Apparently, they keep tapes of the calls made to the florists, they reviewed the tapes and agreed, LF did not represent how NF wants to treat its customers, and LF will no longer be a part of the NF brand. He gave me a $250 gift card to any NF store.

Within 2 years, LF closed because it couldn’t support being an independent florist in this suburb when there was already another florist under the NF brand.

So, sure lady, I won’t step foot in your store again. But neither will anyone else.

◟♢°◝ ┅ natasha, pierre & the great comet of 1812 sentence starters.

 ‘ ____  is young! ‘
‘ she/he/they loves ____ with all her/his/their heart.’
‘ this is in your program! ‘
‘ you’re gonna have to study up a little bit. ‘
‘ he/she/they spend/s their money on woman and wine. ‘
‘ chandeliers and caviar! ‘
‘  ____’s family… totally messed up. ‘
‘ what about  ____? ‘
‘ it’s dawned on me suddenly, and for no obvious reason. ‘
‘ i can’t go on living as i am ‘
‘ the zest of life has vanished! ‘
‘ i used to be better. ‘
‘ i drink too much. ‘
‘ we waste our lives drowning in wine. ‘
’ i’m married but not in love. ‘ 
‘ i pity you. ‘
‘ how beautiful you looked in the snow! ‘
‘ i love you, trust no one but you. ‘
‘ i can’t bear this waiting. ‘
‘ no one can understand. ‘
‘ he’ll come home one day and take me away. ‘
‘ how wonderful to have you here! ‘
‘ well, now we’ll talk! ‘
‘ i am glad and relieved he’ll be the family’s saving grace. ‘

‘ — and i have no friends! ‘
‘ i never go anywhere, i’m never invited! ‘
‘ will i never be happy? will i never be anyone’s wife/husband/spouse? ‘
‘ she’s using you, she wants your money! ‘
‘ insolent girl!’
‘ and from the first glance, i do not like ____ ‘
‘ i must take my leave! ‘
‘ i want you to know how glad i am my brother/sister has found happiness! ‘ 
‘ is that the truth? ‘
‘ the cuckold sits at home! ‘
‘ that’s a woman/man one should stay far away from! ‘
‘ what makes a town pleasant is the beautiful women, isn’t that so? ‘
‘ will you come? ‘
‘ i will make love to her/him/them! ‘
‘ it doesn’t matter, i don’t give a damn! ‘
‘ all i care for is gaiety and women! ‘
‘ here’s to the health of married women — and their lovers! ‘
‘ they say we are asleep until we fall in love. ‘
‘ charming, charming! ‘
‘ these dresses suit you! ‘
‘ anything suits you! ‘
‘ charmante! ‘
‘ how can you live in  ____ and not go nowhere? ‘
‘ so you love somebody? ‘
‘ even if you’re engaged, you must wear your dress out! ‘
‘ my brother/sister is quite madly in love with you! ‘
‘ where have you been? ‘
‘ a woman with a dress is a frightening and powerful thing! 

‘ the thought of throwing them together amuses me! ‘
‘ don’t speak to me of that! ‘
‘ he’s no great man. ‘
‘ none of us are great men. ‘
‘ what am i to do if i love him and the other one too? ‘
‘ i will come and steal you away! ‘
‘ just say yes. ‘
‘ yes! yes! i love you! ‘
‘ you’ve read the letter? ‘
‘ you don’t know what love is! ‘
‘ you’ve only known him/her/them three days! ‘
‘ if you tell, you’re my enemy! ‘
‘ i won’t succumb to your tender tone! ‘
‘ i am afraid you are going to your ruin! ‘
‘ then i’ll go to my ruin! ‘
‘ i hate you, you’re my enemy forever! ‘
‘ i know you are capable of anything! ‘
‘ i know you’ve forgotten me. ‘
‘ i know you so well, my friend. ‘
‘ tonight i go away on an adventure! ‘
‘ you’ll not be seeing me for sometime. ‘
‘ you are married already! ‘
‘ you’d better just give this up now! ‘
‘ go to the devil, eh! ‘
‘ i am not joking! ‘
‘ why would i joke about it, me of all people? ‘
‘ you haven’t thought this through, or do you just don’t care? ‘
‘ if this marriage isn’t valid, then i’m off the hook! ‘
‘ but if it is valid, it really doesn’t matter. ‘
‘ everyone raise a glass! ‘
‘ it’s lucky for him he escaped ‘
‘ listen to me when i speak to you! ‘
‘ what is it to me? i shall die! ‘
‘ i have no betrothed! i have refused him! ‘
‘ don’t touch me! ‘
‘ he is better than any of you! ‘
‘ you all hate and despise me! ‘
‘ there’s ruin at the door! ‘
‘  ____ is a married man/woman! ‘
‘ married? he/she’s married? ‘
‘ you are more repulsive to me than ever! ‘
‘ i don’t consider myself bound to answer questions put to me in that tone! ‘
‘ come now, this is stupid! ‘
‘ and i don’t know what deprives me of the pleasure of smashing your head in with this! ‘
‘ if you wish to be my friend, never speak of that again! ‘
‘ tell him/her to forgive me. ‘
’ did you love that bad man/woman? ‘
’ don’t call him/her bad! ‘
‘ i am not worth it! ‘
‘ i would get down on my knees this minute and ask you for your hand. ‘

erin-m-brown  asked:

Hello!! I really love your writing and I was wondering if you could maybe write a story where Betty and Jughead made a promise to each other when they were slightly younger to marry each other if neither of them was married by thirty-five and so Jughead tries to sabotage every relationship that Betty has till then? If so that would be amazing and again I love your writing and I can't wait for part three of that story!

Okay, to finish out this request, I’m going to have to make a part 2 lol. So here’s the part where they make the pact, and part 2 will be the series of times Jughead tries to sabotage her relationships. Hope that’s okay! 

@riverdale-ships also sent in a request to have a fic about Bughead as kids being really cute together, so I hope it’s alright that I combined the two. <3

Note: This takes place when Betty and Jughead are in the 4th Grade, so everyone is either 9 or 10 years-old. 

“Juggie, give it back!”

Betty lunged for the book that Jughead was holding high above his head, using all her strength to snatch it out of his grasp.

“I’m saving you the heartache, Bets, this book does not have a satisfying ending and wouldn’t be worth your time to finish,” Jughead explained, yanking the book away and shielding it against his chest. “In fact, we should probably just burn it now and save everyone else the misery it caused me.”

Betty stared him down, waiting for him to make his move before faking a lunge in one direction and shuffling her feet to dive for the book in the other direction. Betty smiled to herself triumphantly as she ran her hand along the cover that read The Bridge to Terabithia, before looking up to meet Jughead’s annoyed gaze.

“That’s my decision to make, Juggie,” Betty reminded him, tucking the book safely away inside her desk and turning in her chair to smile back at the red-headed boy chatting with his friends at the other end of the classroom. “Besides, Archie said it was really good and I trust his judgment.”

Please,” Jughead scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically as he followed her gaze back to their friend who was now making his way over to them with his brand new lunchbox in his hands. “The last book Archie read was Chicka Chicka Boom Boom in the first grade.”

“Actually, I just read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for my book report, Jugs,” Archie informed him, swinging his lunchbox around by the handle as he passed them to stand in line for the lunchroom. “I loved it.”

“Oh, well, I stand corrected,” Jughead muttered sarcastically, a light-hearted tone to his voice as Archie smiled at him with amused eyes and headed out of the classroom towards the cafeteria.

A designer lunch bag swung around Jughead’s shoulder to land with a thud on his desk, causing worksheets to fly everywhere and land in various spots around the room.

“Sorry that not all of us can stand to read those boring mystery novels you like, Jughead,” Cheryl Blossom teased, her long red hair cascading down her shoulders as she tossed it behind her with a flick of her wrist. “We are only in the 4th grade  after all - or have you forgotten that small fact with that useless pea-sized brain of yours?”

“Yeah, and I bet all those fashion magazines you read are doing wonders for your intellect, Cheryl,” Jughead spat, pushing her lunchbox off his desk just as she grabbed the handle to pull it away effortlessly. “Gotta remember to pick one of those up on my next grocery store run. Not that you’ve even stepped foot in one of those before - you probably have no idea what I’m talking about!”

“Juggie, come on, we’re going to be late for lunch,” Betty gently pulled on Jughead’s arm and lead him towards the door to the classroom as they let Cheryl saunter by, her hair swinging behind her like a pendulum in an old grandfather clock. “Archie said he would save us a seat.”

“I swear, Betty, sometimes you’re the only person in the entire world I can stand to be around,” Jughead admitted, running his fingers along the brick wall of the hallway as they walked past each classroom. “No one gets me like you do.”

“Well, you are pretty complicated for a nine-year-old,” Betty informed him, giving him a sideways smile as she shuffled her feet along the tiled floor to keep up with him. “You can’t really blame everyone else for not liking the same things you like.”

“I don’t need them to like the things I like, Bets,” Jughead sighed. “I don’t even need them to like me. In fact, I don’t need them at all. The only people I need are you and Jellybean and Archie and that’s it, I’m set for the rest of my life.”

“What about when you get older?” Betty asked, her ponytail swinging forward to hit her cheek as she turned to look at Jughead. “Aren’t you going to want to meet a girl and get married one day?”

“I don’t know,” Jughead furrowed his brows together as he let this notion sink in. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Well I think your future wife will be pretty lucky,” Betty told him, her lips twitching up into a wide smile. “Whoever she is.”

“Hey, I have an idea,” Jughead stopped suddenly, grabbing Betty’s arm as they watched their classmates filing into the cafeteria. “Let’s make a pact right now. If neither of us are married by the time we’re - I don’t know, what would you consider old?”

“Thirty-five?”

“Okay, if neither of us are married by the time we’re thirty-five, we agree to marry each other, no questions asked,” Jughead posed the idea, his hands gesticulating wildly as he let the dozens of thoughts swirling around his mind transform into spoken word. “We’ll just go to the courthouse like those people I saw on that reality show, and then we’ll get married and that will be the end of that.”

“You sure you don’t want to fall in love first?” Betty wondered, a distant smile forming on her lips as she thought about all the fairytales she read when she was younger about princesses who met their prince and fell in love. “I always thought that sounded really nice.”

“Well, I like you a lot,” Jughead reasoned, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to gesture towards her ponytail. “Your hair smells nice and you give me your leftover chips at snack time. I think that’s close enough, right?”

“I guess you’re right,” Betty agreed. “Okay, we have a deal. Secret handshake?”

“It’s not an official deal without it,” Jughead reminded her, sticking out his hand as he prepared to complete the complicated handshake they created the summer after second grade.

“Betty, Jughead, over here!” Archie called out to them from inside the cafeteria, causing Betty to turn away from Jughead and wave back to him with a giant smile plastered on her face.

“There’s Archie, let’s go!” Betty exclaimed, leaving Jughead’s side and hurrying into the lunchroom to take her seat next to Archie.

“Come on, Archie, help a kid out here,” Jughead muttered under his breath, watching as Betty dumped out her lunch bag onto the table before spinning around in her seat to laugh at something Archie just said. “I don’t stand a chance if you keep making her smile like that.”

With that, Jughead headed through the double doors to join his friends at their usual lunch spot, already formulating the various plans he would put into place to ensure that he would always be able to stick to his pact with Betty no matter what.

Had to Give You Away (Lin/Reader)

Summary: Lin was the foundation on which you built your life, until he wasn’t anymore.

Note: My last fic of the year. I have an inbox full of cute prompts waiting to be filled, so naturally I wrote a depressing divorce fic that literally nobody asked for. Happy New Year?

You can find Part 2A here.

You can find Part 2B here.

Word count: 4634

Keep reading

Girls Night

@themarieffect asked that Mary, Anthea and Molly are besties and John, Mycroft and Sherlock find out! Mythea, Warstan, and Sherlolly. This is the last prompt! Turns out I had six prompts, and I couldn’t pass this one up!!! Prompts are closed now though. But stay tuned for more fic giveaways in the future!


There was an awful lot of commotion coming from Molly’s flat. Loud music, glassware clinking and now and then some kind of thumping following by hysterical laughter.

“Oh my Lawks, ‘Thea, you’re going to break something!”

“No I’m not shut up!”

“I wish you’d just wait for Sherlock to come over, he’s tall enough, he can hang them up when he comes over tomorrow-“

This was met by a chorus of whistles and shrieking noises.

“Oh shut up!” Molly shouted, laughing.

John, Mycroft and Sherlock stood on the stairway leading up to Molly’s flat.

“Sounds like a hen party,” John said at last.

“For…what?” Mycroft asked, still staring at the door, quite unused to his wife making crass jokes…or talking about his posterior outside of their bedroom, and to other ladies.

“That’s more than I care to hear about your bottom, brother-mine.”

“Well now we know,” John said, shutting his eyes with a shrug. “Everyone agrees you have a fit bottom, that can also be described as ‘cute’ and ‘perky’, Mycroft,” he slapped him on the shoulder and went on up the stairs.

“You don’t mean you’re actually going up there!” Mycroft gasped.

“Look, Mary texted me, it must’ve been important. What are you doing here anyways?”

Both Holmes brothers shifted, trying to square their shoulders in the narrow hall.

“Molly texted me.”

“I received a text from my wife,” they both answered at once, then glanced at each other.

“Well then…maybe they need ice or snacks, and nobody wants to drive or get dressed or something.”

“Get dressed?!” Mycroft again looked alarmed.

“Yeah,” John said, pausing at the door. “Girls do that. They’ll hang out in their pants all day if they like…doesn’t Anthea do that?”

Mycroft couldn’t speak, eyes glazed over somewhat.

“Molly does that sometimes,” Sherlock volunteered.

John gave a ‘there you go’ nod to him and then knocked on the door.  

“Oh I told you!”

“You haven’t checked yet!”

“Ten to one it’s John-“

There was a ruckus as they all went running across the flat, and fairly ripped the door open. The three of them stood there, half-dressed, Mary and Molly had rollers in their hair, and Anthea was blowing on her nails. Clearly, all of them had been drinking.

“Who did we say wins if all three came at the same time?” Molly asked.

“We do, because we’ll send them for food,” Mary said, and reached for her wallet, pulling out a wad of cash. “Kebab shop is fine! You boys get something for yourselves to eat as well!” with that the door shut, leaving all three of them once again on the landing, wondering what in the heck was going on.

“Were we just-“

“Played like a fiddle, yep,” John nodded, pocketing the money. “Come on, we’ll get the girls something to eat, and then I suggest we go and find a pub.”

“I concur,” Sherlock agreed. “No chip butties though, they make Molly sick.”

“Right.”

“I…I don’t-“ Mycroft was still fumbling for words. “How long has this sort of thing been going on?”

“What?” John laughed. “I dunno. Does it matter?”

“Not in the least!” Mycroft replied. “I am only surprised…”

“That Anthea’s a woman?”

“No, I’ve always been quite aware of that,”

“Then what?” Sherlock asked now, curious as to why his brother was so flustered.

“Well, I always knew you two were idiots,” Mycroft said. “I never expected that I would fall for something as benign as a ‘Come quickly, you’re needed’, text, when I know for a fact there was nothing urgent about.”

“Then why did you come?” John asked. He and Sherlock exchanged grins.

Again, Mycroft looked at them both, weighing the options of telling them the truth or not. Instead he alighted up to the kebab shop door. “Right, so dinner will be on me then,” he declared and headed in.

“You think he was hoping for…”

“A booty-call, yes,” Sherlock nodded.

“I don’t know if I want to let him forget that just yet,” John said, laughing.

“Nor do I, leastwise not for the rest of the night…”

anonymous asked:

Imagine being Bucky's wife and having a son together. One day you say to your son that he needs a haircut and he gets mad and refuses. "And why not?" You ask. "Cuz I want my hair to look like daddy's." He says pointing at Buck who's hair is pulled back in a bun, sitting on the couch watching tv. Buck looks at you and shrugs, giving you his famous smirk. "What can I say doll, he takes after me."

Heheheheh this is so cute and they have little man buns together

Daddy Wednesday™

Parks and Recreation — Season 1  {Sentence Starters}

  • “And she’s a bitch.”
  • “Don’t hold it against me.”
  • “I don’t want to talk to you.”
  • “Oh, how old are your kids?”
  • “I know. You’re destroying me.”
  • “Hey, I want you to meet my wife.”
  • “Look at how hot she is! Isn’t that crazy?”
  • “Nice to meet you. You guys are together?”
  • “I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.”
  • “Park, huh? Sounds like a really good idea.”
  • “Have I ever given into that temptation? No. Never.”
  • “Lemme tell you something, you suck at Scrabble.”
  • “If you don’t want to talk to me, you can just say so.”
  • “Sorry about that, little girl. You can get the next one.”
  • “To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises.”
  • “I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money.”
  • “What I hear when I’m being yelled at, is people caring loudly at me.”
  • “When you’re in government, there’s a million ways to exploit your power.”
  • “Turns out she hates Tammy too, so we started dating. It’s like a fairy tale.”
  • “Great. Would you be willing to come to a town meeting and show your support?”

anonymous asked:

Can you explain your feelings about Jumin being a bit inconsistent?

In a general sense or just in the sense of this DLC?

SPOILERS

In this DLC he’s like Chief Han the second. Business trip, days away from home, weird reasoning to spend time away from his wife, returning with LOADS of expensive gifts.

It reminded me of that one VN from his childhood where his stepmother wanted Chief Han to spend more time at home but settled for a bag. And this was NOT portrayed positively.

I’m a bit….perplexed?? how we’ve gone from having Jumin hating gold diggers with the core of his being and resenting his dad for being absent a lot to being like LOOK AT THIS BAG I BROUGHT YOU MY LOVE IT’S FROM FRANCE IM SORRY I LEFT YOU DONT COME WITH ME THO CHECK OUT THIS LIPSTICK

Family (MGK)

Machine Gun Kelly, MGK

@val2557  asked: Can you make a imagine of being married to machine gun kelly?

“(Y/N), are you sleeping?” Kelly asks me, waking me up from my mid-day slumber. It’s one of those days, where Kelly is not on the road or in the studio, but he has an interview leaving him out of the house for some hours and me doing some shit that I want in tranquility.

"Not anymore…” I whimper as I prop my body on my elbow.
“Good, good. Get up. I wanna take you out. Go get ready.” He says cheerfully, looking at me like a 5-year-old.
“Kels…” I groan.
“Shush… I want to take my wife out for lunch and spend the evening together. Don’t ruin this for me…” He pleads and I chuckle.
“Why are you chuckling?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know. I guess the word wife is still new to me …” I say, shrugging. Kelly laughs and strokes my cheek.
“Wife, wife, wifey, wife.” He sings, earning a slap on the shoulder.

I get up from the couch, placing the book that was rested on my hip on its place on the bookcase. I jog upstairs to our bedroom and enter the closet, taking in the hangers full of clothes. I pick up a simple blue skater dress and a light blue jean jacket, seeing that it will get pretty chilly after 6 P.M.
I place my clothes on the small armchair in the closet, before I shimmy out of my homewear. I put my bra and grab my dress as I hear the soft crackling of the floor, signaling that Kel entered the room. I turn around and look at him as he leans on the doorframe
“Whatcha looking at Colson?” I tease him as I slip into my dress. He groans and I see him roll his eyes.
“I hate you when you call me by my actual name…” He says. I shrug and grab my jacket, smiling mischievously at him.
I walk up to my vanity, thinking of the makeup I want to put on my face.
“No, don’t wear makeup… ” Kels stops me as I open the drawer.
“Why?” I ask, confused.
“Well,  first of all, you don’t need to. And second, I want to be able to grab your face and pepper your face in kisses without having to worry about your makeup…” He replies, looking at me smiling. I chuckle and place a kiss on his lips before I slip in my jacket and he takes my hand in his.

“Ok, what’s the plan for today? "I ask as we get in the car.
"Well, I was thinking of going for lunch just the 2 of us and then maybe go pick Casie up and do something the 3 of us. ” He says, focused on the road ahead of us.
“Sure, I’d love to spend some time with Casie. Maybe she can stay with us tonight.” I suggest, making him smile.
“Are you sure about that?” He asks.
“Yeah. You know what we should do?”
“What should we do, baby doll?”
“Redecorate one of the guests’ room and have it just for Casie. She can pick the theme and the colors and I can work on it. You know, have something to do when you are on tour. "I suggest, excited about it.
"That would be really great. We can ask her today and she can stay the weekend and you 2 can work together on it. Maybe I can help too. ” He says, making me smile as I picture all of us doing something together.

During lunch, he tells me about the new songs and the cities he is going to visit to promote his new work. I can see his excitement and the spark in his eyes, making me remember the time back when we first met.
I smile and stare at him, lost in his features: he is the same M, the same man I see on stage and in videos, only calmer and just mine.
“Why are you smiling like that? And why are you staring at me? Do I have something stuck in my teeth or is there something on my face?” He asks, laughing and wiping his face.
“No, no… Just… I am so in love with you man…” I say, shaking my head.
“Stop it. I am married.” He teases me.
“Yeah, to me… I reply, giggling.
"I am so lucky to have you, man…” He mumbles and I blush a tiny bit.
“Yeah, you are.” I shoot back, taking a sip from my wine. He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Should we go, babe?"He asks, checking the time on his phone. I nod and pick my bag, reaching inside to pick my wallet and pay for our lunch. Kelly slaps my hand away and picks the tab, bringing out his wallet from his jacket.
"Sometimes I hate you."I state, slipping my jacket on.
"Yeah, yeah. I know.” He replies, walking up next to me. He places his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple

The drive to Casie’s mom’s house was pretty short and we mostly jammed to M’s album.
“Hey Cas…How are you? ” I greet her as Kelly helps her get in the car.
“Hey (Y/N)… I am fine. ” She replies cheerfully while waving her hand.
“All set.” He announces after he buckles her.
“Where are we going, dad?” She asks as he gets on the driver’s seat.
“That’s a nice question. Where are we going, Colson?” I repeat the question, curious to know the answer.
“You two are seriously the 2 most impatient people I’ve ever met.” Kels groans, avoiding the answer.
“Answer the question.” I demand.
“Yeah dad, answer the question…” Casie demands, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“You are both not playing fair… We are going to the aquarium and then maybe to the planetarium if this little one is not asleep by then. ”
“I am not little…” Casie protests and he chuckles.
“I know baby. I am talking about (Y/N). ” He responds, laughing. I punch him lightly on the shoulder as he and Cas laugh.
“Why are you laughing, young lady?” I ask her, faking being offended and making her giggle even more.

The trip to the aquarium was really fun. Casie and I got so mesmerized by all those colorful fish swimming, that we literally glued our faces to the glass. In the end, Casie fell asleep on our way to the planetarium, so we had to turn around and get home.
“It’s a pity we didn’t get to see the stars. ” I comment as he parks the car in the garage. He chuckles and grabs my hand, bringing it to his lips.
“I get to see them every day, right beside me.” He replies.
“Smooth as hell. ” I comment, placing a kiss on his bottom lip.
“I need a proper kiss. ” He whispers, stroking my hair.
“Put Casie to bed and we will see. "I whisper and exit the car.

While he carries Casie out of the car and into the house, I run upstairs to bring some pillows and blankets for Casie’s bed.  I walk in the guests’ room near our bedroom, finding Kel with Casie on his chest and torso. I place the pillows and blankets on the bed, as quietly as I can.
"Can you help me put her pjs on? I don’t want to wake her up.” He asks me.
“I don’t think that you will fit in her pjs…” I mock him. He rolls his eyes and places softly on the bed.
“Daddy?” Casie says sleepily, rubbing her eyes.
“Oh, you are awake… Can you put your jammies on, princess?” He asks, handing her the cozy clothing.
“Yes. Dad, can you tell me a bedtime story, please? ” She asks sweetly. I know for sure that he is not able to tell her no, especially now that she wants to spend more time with him, so I just leave the room and go do my nighttime routine.

After 30 minutes, Kelly is still in Casie’s room, so I just get up and towards the room to see if they are alright. I stop outside the door once I hear talking coming from the room.
“I really like her. She is sweet and cute and always smells nice. Casie says and Kelly snorts while laughing.
"That’s nice, cause you know, I married her and I wanted you to like her too. ”
“I think she loves you. ”
“Yeah, I know. And because I love her too, I want to build a family with her.”
“Oh…” Casie says simply, sounding a bit sad.
“What’s wrong baby? ” He asks her.
“If you and (Y/N) have another baby, will you stop loving me as much as you do now? Or will you just play with the new baby and leave me?” Casie asks, making me tear up. That is exactly what I never wanted to happen.
“Darling, of course not. I will never stop loving you. You are my babygirl. And no matter how many babies I will have with (Y/N), I will never leave you. You are always going to have mom and dad. Plus (Y/N) who loves you so so much that sometimes I am jealous, cause I think that she loves you more than she loves me. In fact, she is the one who suggested we make you a room in here and decorate it however you like. You are pert of this family too, no matter how many members there are inside of it. Ok princess?”
“Ok, dad.”
“Now get some sleep, because tomorrow we have to go shopping for your new room in here. Goodnight baby.”
“Goodnight daddy.”

Once Kelly exits the room, I hug him tightly.
“You stayed here the whole time? "He asks me.
"Not the whole time. Just the last few minutes. You handled it really well.” I whisper, stretching to leave a kiss on his lips.
“Thank you, baby… Now let’s get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow, angel.” He whispers in my ear, while picking me up bridal style and making me giggle.  

family

author’s note: hector bellerin imagine reqeusted by anon! feel free to let me know what you think. i hope you like it!

warning: light smut

“Good morning, birthday boy.”

Hector’s girlfriend trails her fingers up his shirtless torso, rousing him from sleep. He looks so peaceful, with his hair splayed across the pillow and his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes. It’s his birthday and she plans on spoiling him all day – but first he has to wake up.

He mumbles and flips over, catching her body with his arm. She laughs and moves her hand up to cup his face, as he slowly opens his eyes.

“Happy birthday,” she says.

He gives her a sleepy smile. “Thank you, baby. You remember my parents are coming by later?”

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What’s Destructed ‘round You

Originally posted by captaine-duckling

Pairing: Jaime X (Tyrell) Reader

Word Count: 1600

Warnings: none


With the better half of your family dead in a fiery blaze at the Sept of Baelor, you are now Cersei’s prisoner, the focus to take out her hollow frustrations, the prophecy inching her further into madness. Jaime can only stand by to watch, as his duty would bid him, for so long.


Jaime had never known what to think of you. Margaery and you were like night and day, Margaery joyful and bright, you reserved and stiff. Though you did have that shifty eye all Tyrell’s seemed to have.

And maybe in another time it would have been strange to see you crying, but Jaime heard about the destruction of the Sept of Baelor. How Mace, Margaery and Loras had been in there when it blew. At court you never shed a tear no matter how Cersei taunted. You were her prisoner now, but you held so strong in the face of her abuse. Jaime supposed he was witnessing a moment meant for no one, if anything he was being cruel just having stumble upon it.

All alone in the garden, sobs only coming in little gasps, Jaime wasn’t sure if he should just leave. But seeing you cover your face and somehow look even smaller tugged all the right strings. Giving a hard sigh, he quietly made his way to you. If you heard his approach, you didn’t show it, remaining by the small murky pool, trembling into your hands.

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This unbearable heat

For an anonymous Tumblr user, who asked me whether I could write a fic with sexual tension between a married Shelagh and Patrick. This left me with a lot of freedom, so I hope it lives up to your expectations, anon ;).

 

The heat is unbearable. The grass lays yellow and limp, scorched and thirsting for rain that doesn’t fall, despite the clouds dark as bruises that dot the sky.

“A storm is brewing,” Shelagh tells Angela as she rocks the infant on her hip.

Just like my headache, she can’t help but think. The pressure behind her eyes is horrible. If she could she would put herself to bed and sleep for ages. As it is, she hasn’t had time to rest; Angela is teething and has been out of sorts all day. The little girl clung to Shelagh as she tried to do her housework. Shelagh still has to do the dishes and she hasn’t even started on dinner. She guesses that she should be glad that Timothy is eating at Collin’s place tonight. However, she has a hard time being happy with her stepson at the moment, since she snagged her stockings whilst tripping over his cricket bat (it’s a complete mystery to her how the thing came to be in the middle of the living room in the first place).

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Sherlock Valentine's Day Challenge #9

Prompt: Yes. But I’ll never admit it.

A/N: I am so exhausted, I apologize for any errors, typos etc…!

John was rushing, fighting against traffic, trying get downtown to do some last minute shopping. It was Valentine’s Day and he, as usual, had procrastinated on getting Mary a gift and now he was paying for it. He stopped in the corner pharmacy to get a greeting card, but the selection was pretty poor at this late hour and he ended up being forced to choose a rather tacky, flowery one covered in glitter. It would have to do. He payed for it then made a bee-line for the flower shop a few blocks up. The line was out the door, men of all ages, shapes and sizes, all in the same boat as he.
“Screw it,” he muttered to himself, choosing to for go the flowers. Next stop, jewelry shop. This establishment was also packed full of last minute shoppers, but he had no choice but to wait this one out. Finally, he was greeted by a salesman and he selected a beautiful pair of pearl earrings, had them wrapped and was out the door. He glanced at his watch, it was getting late and he still hadn’t picked up the wine. His tongue flitted out over his bottom lip as he weighed his options. There was a bottle at Sherlock’s that had been given as a gift from a client recently and there was a good chance it was still there. And, it was also on his way home. He set off in the direction of his former Baker Street address with astounding speed.
He let himself in, as he was good enough to still keep a key and bounded up the stairs. He opened the door and stopped short. The kitchen table was draped in a white table cloth. Two long, red candlesticks adorned the table top and in the center was an enormous bouquet of red roses. Around the flat, dozens of candles of varying heights and colors were scattered and their flickering light made the atmosphere feel cozy and intimate. A bottle of champagne was chilling in a silver ice bucket that John had never seen before, and therefore must have been newly acquired solely for this occasion. Faint music played in the background and John could smell dinner cooking.
Sherlock emerged from his bedroom, pulling on his shirt and still doing up the buttons.
“What are you doing here?”He asked his friend. “It’s nearly six on Valentine’s Day,shouldn’t you be at home romancing your wife?”
“I’m on my way,” John informed him. “You really went all out here, didn’t you?” Sherlock shrugged and tried to look uninterested.
“It’s my first Valentine’s with Y/N,”he explained. “I wanted it to be… nice.”
“Sherlock… this is more than nice,” John said, shaking his head. “This is perfection.” One corner of the detective’s lip twitched upwards in what could almost be called a self-satisfied grin.
“You’ll think she’ll like it then?”he asked, looking around the room, admiring all his hard work.
“She’ll love it,” John said, suddenly remembering why he was here. “Do you have that bottle of Malbec we got from the zoologist case?”
“Of course, you know I don’t drink that. It’s under the sink with the rest of the chemicals,” Sherlock said, distastefully. John opened the cupboard and grabbed the bottle, turning to leave, he couldn’t help glance around the room one one last time.
“You know, if I didn’t know any better,” he said, smirking at his friend, “I’d say you enjoyed putting all this together for you Y/N. You are actually enjoying celebrating Valentine’s day with someone you care about.” Sherlock pursed his lips and squinted at John. He opened his mouth to protest, but John raised his eyebrows and nodded at the new sterling ice bucket.
“Fine, ok, fine, alright,”Sherlock sighed. “Yes. But I’ll never admit it to another soul. Now get going, with your cheap wine and expensive pearl earrings.”
“How did you… never mind…” John said with a shake of his head. And with that, he was out the door and rushing home, making a promise to himself that he would never again let Sherlock Holmes do a better Valentine’s day than he.

Imagine food fights with Chris.

With the sun relentlessly beaming down on your face, you were quickly aroused from your sleep. You were expecting a bad hangover after the night you had, but you woke with only a minor headache and slight fatigue; it was thanks to Chris, he had forced an Advil down your throat before putting you to bed.

You yawned and rubbed your eyes, turning to reach for Chris only to find his side of the bed empty. You propped yourself on your elbows, attempting to peer into the ensuite from where you were. The door was wide open and you couldn’t hear any sounds, which could only mean that Chris was downstairs having breakfast or watching TV, or he and Dodger had gone for their morning run.

God, how he could go for a run or do anything physical after last night was beyond you.

It wasn’t until you reached for his pillow that you noticed the note sitting on top of it. You pinched it off the pillow and laid on your back, holding it in front of your face. Your vision was fuzzy because you had only just woken up, and because you weren’t wearing your glasses, but you could make out what he’d scrawled across the paper.

Good morning, my sweet,

Dodger and I went out to get some fresh fruit for breakfast, we’ll be back soon. The coffee’s on the pot so if you’d like to get out of bed to have some while you wait for us to return, you’re more than welcome to. I doubt you’ll even be awake before we get back but- better safe than sorry.

Your ever-loving husband,
Chris.

You smiled and stretched before getting out of bed, taking your glasses with you as you headed to the bathroom to clean up. You caught yourself in the mirror as you brushed your teeth, noticing that you were still wearing Chris’ white dress shirt from the night before; both of you had spent it at the Oscars and its after party, which was where you and possibly Chris- you couldn’t remember- got ridiculously drunk. You pressed your nose into your shoulder and smiled because the shirt still smelt like he did; of bergamot, vanilla, and sandalwood.

You made your way downstairs and headed for the kitchen. You could smell the coffee even before you turned the corner. On the table was your favorite mug; Chris had gotten it for you for Christmas, it was white with blue snowflakes. You spotted another note with his handwriting, you picked it up and giggled when you read it.

Here I was thinking you were just going to stay fast asleep until Dodger and I got home. :P The cream and sugar are where they always are. I know it’s not Starbucks quality but I hope you enjoy your coffee anyway. If you need another Advil, take it.

You heard noises coming from the front door, then Chris’ voice and Dodger’s scuttling feet across the hardwood floor. You smiled and leaned against the marble counter, sipping your coffee as you waited for them to come through the archway.

“Well well well,” Chris smiled at you. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” He kissed you on the cheek then moved to unpack the groceries. “I honestly didn’t think you’d be awake, I sent Dodger upstairs to go get you.”

“I could tell from the notes you left me,” you chuckled and drew one from him as well. “I’m surprised you’re awake, to be honest. You drank a lot more than I did.” You reminded him, putting your cup down with a thunk.

“You forget I’m a Bostonian,” he chuckled. “We don’t get drunk and we don’t have hangovers. It’s in our genes,” he shrugged nonchalantly and you laughed. “You’re lucky I made you take that Advil last night, otherwise you wouldn’t be laughing right now.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” You hugged him from behind and kissed his shoulder blade. “What did you get?” You poked your head around him to peer at the bags that were filled with fresh fruit. “What are you going to make?”

“Pancakes,” he told you and you felt your smile widen. “These are just toppings. I even got…” He dragged out in a sing song voice, searching the bag for whatever he got. “Marshmallows!” He exclaimed excitedly, holding the bag of mini marshmallows in front of you.

“You’re such a kid,” you giggled.

“Gotta match my wife’s personality,” he teased then kissed the tip of your nose. “Shall we start?” He asked and you nodded. “Grab the mixing bowl and whisk, will you?” You nodded, doing as he asked. “Oh- and the milk and eggs from the fridge.” He instructed then padded over to the pantry to get the dry ingredients.

“Here you go,” you placed the needed items in front of him.

“Okay,” he clapped his hands together. “Let’s get pancaking. Hey-” he pointed at you and you raised an eyebrow. “No food fights,” he warned in a playful tone that meant the complete opposite of what he just said.

“Of course,” you nodded, biting back your smile.

Dodger joined the two of you in the kitchen just as you started mixing the batter. You had the job of pouring the ingredients in the bowl while Chris did the whisking of the mixture. You chatted about little things, laughing at events that had occurred the night before. You didn’t remember playing beer pong with Sebastian and Margarita until Chris reminded you; you and Chris were an unbeatable duo and Seb and Margo were absolutely smashed by the end of the game. You laughed, imagining how they must be feeling this morning.

“Hold it,” Chris stopped you and you narrowed your eyes in confusion. “You have something on your-” he dipped his pinky finger into the batter and poked it on the tip of your nose. “Nose,” he finished, biting back his smile.

“Wow,” you scoffed and chuckled at the same time. “Thank you, I didn’t notice it until just then. You know what though,” you dipped your hand into the bag of flour and grabbed a fistful of the white powder. “You have something-” you tossed it at him and he closed his eyes. “Oh, all over you face.” You said and pressed your lips together, laughing softly through your nose.

“Seriously?” His smile grew wider. “You wanna go big?” His hand dipped into the bag of flour and he tossed a handful in your face before you could dodge out of the way. “You have something all over your face as well.”

Dodger barked and drew both your and Chris’ attention onto him; the poor puppy was covered in flour too. You looked back at Chris and shook your head at him, “see what you did. Now he’s going to run all over the house and leave a trail of flour behind him.”

“Me?” He laughed. “You started the flour tossing, thank you very much. Look over there, look at all the flour behind you.” He pointed behind you and you turned. “Honestly, Y/N. It’s Sunday, I don’t want to spend the day cleaning the house.”

“There’s nothing-” You were met with another fistful of flour when you turned back to him. “Oh my God!” You laughed and he did the same, grabbing his left boob. “You’re such an asshole!” You slapped his arm.

“You look like a ghost,” he laughed louder.

“Well then you better match your wife,” you grabbed a fistful and tossed it at him. He dodged it with ease and snatched the bag away before you could grab another fistful. “Running scared, are we?” You challenged with a smug smile.

“Hey,” he held up the bag with one hand, “I’ve got the ammunition.”

“You’ve got no balls,” you placed your hands on your hips. “That’s why you’re cheating.”

He scoffed and shook his head. You watched as he slowly put the bag of flour down, the smirk on his face only meant trouble for you. You tried to make a run for it before he pounced, but you were too slow for the Super Soldier. He grabbed your waist and pulled you into his front, nuzzling his flour covered face into your neck. You shrieked with laughing, hunching in his grip.

“Stop!” You laughed.

“Let’s call a truce so we can have breakfast.”

“Okay okay!” You cried out, choking on your laughter. “Truce!”

The two of you focused on cooking the pancakes without anymore flour tosses, and it took about ten minutes but you finally had a plateful of deliciously fluffy pancakes. You sat on the cold marble bench top, swinging your legs back and forth as Chris cut up a pancake doused in maple syrup.

“You are absolutely filthy,” he chuckled as he fed you. “How is it?” He asked, before taking a bite himself.

“Fantastic,” you smiled then dipped your finger in the bowl of maple syrup. “Cut me another piece please.” You asked and he did; when he looked up from the plate, you touched the tip of his nose with the sticky syrup. “Who’s filthy now?” You asked with a smug smile.

“I don’t know…” He dipped his hand into the maple syrup and wiped it onto your cheek. “You?”

“Chris!” You laughed. “You’re going to pay for this.” You jumped off the bench and took a handful of icing sugar and threw it at his face. Your jaw dropped when you saw him dipped his hand into the Nutella jar, smirking. “Don’t you dare,” you told him and slowly backed away.

You tried to make a run for it but he caught your waist with one arm and smeared the Nutella on your face and into your hair. You screamed and laughed and squirmed in his arms. He laughed and held onto you tightly as he dragged you back to the table to add a touch of icing sugar on you.

“You’re looking absolutely delicious,” he chuckled and planted a kiss on your cheek.

“I’m going to have a lot of trouble trying to get all this mucky stuff out of my hair,” you pouted.

“I will be more than happy to help,” he whispered into your ear with a cheeky, flirtatious tone.

You turned around in his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling. You walked him back until he was half sat on the bench, you could tell from the smirk on his face that he was expecting something other than what you had planned. You leaned in inches away from his lips, it was a distraction so you could reach for the open jar of peanut butter and dip your hand into it. Just as he was about to kiss you, you scooped out a big dollop of peanut butter and smeared it into his hair. He made a face and groaned, pretending to be annoyed with you.

“I think you’re going to be way to busy with your own hair,” you giggled, biting your lower lip.

“Alright, alright.” He chuckled. “Let’s call it a truce and eat ‘cause as fun as this is, I’m starving.”

“Okay,” you nodded, smiling.

You and Chris continued eating breakfast with maple syrup, peanut butter, Nutella, flour, and icing sugar, on your clothes, in your hair and all over your faces. As a materialistic actress, you would usually mind being covered in anything other than Chanel but it was different with Chris, you could be covered in mud and be comfortably okay.

“I’m going to go have a shower,” you said and hopped off the island bench top. He nodded and followed behind you as you headed for the stairs. You chuckled and turned around, stopping him with my hand. “Alone, Captain.”

“Aw…” he pouted.

“But you can go have a shower with the kitchen,” you chuckled. “It is dirtier than I am and I’m sure it’ll appreciate the help in cleaning it up. So…Chop chop,” you clapped your hands in his face and he chuckled.

“Are you really going to make me clean up alone?”

“Well…You did start the food fight,” I winced. “It’s only fair that the one who started it, ends it.”

“I don’t want to clean up by myself…” He whined and you pouted, giving him your best puppy dog eyes; his weakness. “Fine, I’ll clean up.” He grumbled and you smiled. “You go have your shower. Time limit of half an hour, please. I too would like to get all this muck off me.”

“Thank you, baby,” you smiled and pecked him on the lips before skipping out of the kitchen.

I am real fuckin’ wary of f/annibalfest and I beg y'all to be careful before spending between $160 and $400 on such a small con. It’s one thing to be new at scheduling conventions. I have no problem with people ironing out bumps along the way. But their attitude towards people who ask for transparency before they contribute A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY makes me nervous.

Like. If I wanted a bottom tier ticket I’d be spending $320 for my wife and I. If we spend the weekend in Toronto that’s $60 there and $60 back, a hotel at a cheap price would run about $150 for the weekend. At the very cheapest. To feed ourselves we’re looking at $55 a day if we eat only fast food.

That’s over $600 for a small, startup convention for two people who live pretty close to Toronto. And that makes me super nervous.

I’m not saying the planners are bad or wrong, or that you shouldn’t go. I’m just saying you need to think about where your money is going, and demand transparency when people admit they’re new at something while asking for your money. I’d like to see an itemized list of where money is going. I’d like to know exactly who is planning the con - the full team. I’d like them to pick a PR person to answer inquiries who doesn’t make people feel like assholes for wanting to know where their money is going. I worked in management for years y'all, no matter how annoyed someone is? As a customer service rep you don’t get to be annoyed right back. It gives a bad rep to the brand that will turn potential buyers away.

So. Just think about it. Be careful. I don’t have room to put up everyone that flies from England is this falls through. And the last thing I need is to be stuck in Dash Fyre Fannibal Con fighting Scott Thompson for a cheese sandwich.

NOTE: These are headcanons that we as a network came up with together are from our Discord #headcanons channel, recorded here as written by us in the chat, which is why they may sound more like chats/conversations than headcanons as headcanons are typically written. Check out our other headcanons here!

  • Lardo a cold gay
  • chowder is the cheery ass motherfucker who’s never fucking cold
  • lardo is 100% a cold gay
  • nursey would hate him if he weren’t reaping the benefits

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