I have my bad days, okay, lots and lots of bad days, but I just want to note how truly thankful I am for what I have. I have a loving caring family who supports me and my interests, going so far as to come to a convention with me to see what it’s all about. My grandma walked back from a contest with me, trophy in hand, and shouted “MY GRANDDAUGHTER WON A TROPHY! LOOK! SHE’S THE BEST HARLEY QUINN!” People who when I walk into the living room and say “I want to build a giant mallet.”, have no hesitation before helping me. Like “Heck yeah lets go to Home Depot for giant mallet supplies.” I feel so truly accepted for who I am. They’re nice to me even when I don’t deserve it, and I’m eternally grateful to them for saving me from an abusive household. I mean it when I say that without them, I’d be dead. For sure.
I have a boyfriend who is one of the most patient people I know. If not the most patient. I have a total breakdown like once a week and he’s never angry about it. I fuck up a lot. I get angry for no reason. I lash out at him for no reason. But he’s always so fucking patient and waits for me to get through whatever I’m going through until I can recoup and apologize. And on the other end, he always apologizes when he fucks up too. I’m so grateful to have someone who I can truly be myself around. He’s seen me at my worst, and he doesn’t love me any less for it. I never knew how wonderful love could be. Real love. Like holding your hair while you throw up love. Itching your rash for you love. Love that makes you sacrifice and compromise. But it’s real and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And maybe that’s me being a naive 21 year old, but I really think I’ve found my partner for life. And in the case that I AM being a naive 21 year old, I at least know that right now, in this moment, I am thankful and happy. And I’m going to enjoy it as long as I possibly can.