i want my 5th pair ; ;

Plus Sized - Nick Robinson

“Can you do a Nick imagine where the reader is plus size and she is very insecure about, to the point where she doesn’t even want him to hold her at night”

Whitened knuckles gripped tightly at the sink as I stared at my own tired reflection. My eyes were bloodshot red and face was flushed pink from my previous crying spree, why was I like this?

I let go of the sink, hands going down to pinch the skin on my soft thighs. I glared down at the pair, why can’t they be smaller?

There was no doubt I was insecure about the way I looked, I had seen the models and stick thin women Nick had worked with, their looks being not so similar to my own. Letting go of my thick thighs I forced myself to look in the mirror, the vicious thoughts and opinions already running wild around my brain.

People often told me that I was fine the way I was and that I should be happy with myself. I wanted so hard to believe that was true and finally be able to smile at my own reflection; yet here i was, angrily hating on myself for the extra weight I carried. Plus size, a phrase that was loosely thrown around when the tabloids talked about Nicks Girlfriend, me. Did it really matter?

How could Nick love me when i didn’t even love myself?

Shaking my head I brushed out my creased bed top and switched off the light before exiting the small bathroom. My feet padded softly on the wooden floor of my apartment as I traveled down the hall, heavy thoughts in my head.

My stomachs churned nervously as I reached the door of our bedroom, I felt sick at the thought of another night of Nick trying to be close to me again.

It sounds silly doesn’t it? You don’t want your boyfriend near you? Stupid! Only that wasn’t it. I was afraid, I always had been. I hated when Nick tried to hold Me, how would he react to the feeling of my squishy body as he tried to hold me close? Exactly. I hated being insecure enough to not want my own boyfriend to touch me in fear of him being disgusted. It Sucks.

I opened the door softly, entering the dimly lit room. I immediately spotted the boy in question inside the large bed, chest bare and dark hair messy as he peered at the small screen in his large hands.

I crawled in next to him, careful not to get too close before laying down and pulling the covers up to my chest, facing Nick.

He put down his phone and lay down too, turning the lights off before doing so. He gripped my hand in his own and began to play with my fingers, I pulled them away and laughed nervously before turning over and shutting my eyes. Please just go to sleep.

I felt him move closer, my heart hammering in my chest as he did so, insecurity being at its highest as he laced an arm around my waist and snuggled into me. I should enjoy it, I want to enjoy it! I just- ugh!

I shifted my body away slightly and squeezed my eyes tightly shut praying for this awful feeling to disappear. The lamp on the bedside table switched on and Nick sat up abruptly.

“Y/N” his voice was concerned, but I kept my eyes shut, willing myself to sleep.

“Y/N please” his hands gripped my shoulders and turned me towards him,his handsome face illuminated by the lamp glow ; eyes glistening with worry.

“Have I done something wrong?” He sounded hurt, the tone breaking my heart in half as he stared at me. I couldn’t let him think it was him.

“It’s nothing Nick honest-” I tried

“Nothing? Every time I come close to you, you move away like I’ve got some kind of disease! What’s going on y/n!?” The volume increased as he used his hands to show the distance between us in the bed.

“It’s stupid honestly, let’s just go to sleep” I didn’t want him to think I was pathetic, he didn’t need to know the dangerous dark thoughts that were trapped in my mind.

“No. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong” he gripped my chin in his long fingers, my bare face now being level with his own as he searched my eyes for any sign of explanation.

“It’s not you” my voice was weak as I started, a large knot forming in my stomach. “I hate being like this, i’m so sorry” my eyes stung with tears but I wouldn’t cry.

“Y/N what are you talking about?” He was now sat in front of me, his long figure slouched but still looking better than ever. I tugged nervously at my own shirt, scared it was clinging to all the wrong places.

“It’s not you okay? I don’t like you touching me because of the way my body is. I don’t want you to be disgusted or put off” I avoided his eyes, wincing as he took in a sharp breath.

“The way your body is? What the hell is that supposed to mean!?” He seemed angry, and I was really clueless as to why.

“I’m not as skinny as other girls you dated and I just- I’m plus sized. I don’t like the feel of my body or the way I look okay? I don’t want you feeling all of my chub and rolls and stuff I just-” I was cut off when Nick put his large hand over my mouth. My eyes widened at the action, words no longer flowing out of my mouth.

“Shut up” sorry, what? “I hate hearing you talk about yourself like this. Rolls?Chub? Seriously y/n” he moved his hand and gripped both of mine in his own, I stayed silent once again.

“You have none of those things, and even if you did, it would not matter one bit. I love YOU and your body does not affect my decision on that what so ever. You’re absolutely beautiful and I wouldn’t want you any other way” a smile tugged at my lips but I still felt a slight nagging in the pit of my belly.

“But-” I was cut off once again.

“And I would NEVER be disgusted by you. It hurts me that you think I would even care about the stupidest thing like weight or the way you feel when I touch you. I love the way you look and how you feel, you give the best cuddles and I want more of them, so stop hating on your beautiful self. Size is not important!” He pinched my pink cheek slightly and gave me a full blown smile. His eyes looked tired but they still shone with happiness as he glanced at me.

I nodded, my chest feeling warm as he smiled down at me. He made me feel more beautiful than anyone had in a while.

“I love you” the words slipped out of my mouth followed by a genuine smile, his own smile widening as I tugged him back into the bed.

This time when his arms encircled me and pulled me into him, I didn’t move away. It felt different and although I still drowned in worry about how he felt about it I ignored the nagging feeling and leant into him. I could finally begin the journey to loving myself with the help of my brilliant boyfriend.

—-

Okay so, I loved this request very much and it hit home for me. I myself am not the skinniest person and I feel as though this imagine included a lot of my own thoughts and feelings about it. I wanted to add a note on this end of this imagine to say that this imagine is not intended to offend or upset anyone.
The views are something I wrote from what I know and I also know that some people do not share the same views about being plus sized or about other sizes of bodies.
I do not at all have anything against those people who are skinny or not plus sized, everyone is different and I know everyone can finds it equally as hard to love themselves or be happy with their body, no matter what they look like.
That leads on to my next point, every one of you is absolutely beautiful, regardless of size. Size is something that does not matter and I wanted to make a point of that. It’s such a hard thing to love your body and be happy in your own skin and I know a lot of people are fighting their own battles with this issue, I’ve been there too. No one in this world is the same and I think it is so important to concentrate and love yourself before you care too much about what other people look like.
You’re a bit heavier than that girl over there? Cool! That girl over there carries a little bit more weight than you? That’s cool too! Everyone is great in their own way and size and Weight does not affect that at all.
Be happy with who you are because you only get to live this life once and do you really want to waste it being unhappy and living up to stupid people’s opinions and expectations?

Lastly, if anyone has any questions or thoughts, my box is ALWAYS open. If you’re ever feeling shitty or needing someone to talk to,I am always here and happy to talk. Or even if you just want to chat and make a friend, I’m down for that too! Love you all v v much, I hope you enjoy this imagine:)

Top 5 OTPs

I was tagged by @pknumba1(sorry for being late), so here is my very short list of top 5 otps.

1st ARASHI (I really dont care they are 5 members, I ship em all to each other XD as a friends ofc XD)

2nd TOMA IKUTA AND ARASHI (yeah I still dont care they are 5 in Arashi XD)

3th Kageyama and Reiko (FInally actress with who Sho was not awkward XD I wanted them to end up togetheeer T_T ♥ )

4th Naruse-san and Shiori (Damn it, if she stopped Naruse-san everything will be differnt. But she was not strong enough to love Naruse…)

5th Shinichi and Ran (probably the only anime pair I ship ♥ Pls Gosho-san let them be happyyyy! I need happy end that my childhod can be completed! )

bonus: Nakatsu and meeee XD

Originally posted by omnibless

 Ok it turned to japanese drama/anime OTPs but I dont care! (actually I am not very interested in any series/movies besides japanese hehe ) XD I will just tag my dear friend @ansifee (I know you are busy, so if you dont feel like it dont do it ♥ :3 ) and if anybody want do it, do it! XD 

Team Maqua Fest was created to help create more content for the pairings Hardenshipping, Alphafemaleshipping, and Seamountshipping. So all works must focus on either one or more of these pairings as the primary romantic focus. 

Timeline:

24th April: Fest opens up for prompting

1st May: Fest opens up for claims

June 5th: Submissions are due

June 8th - (TBA): Submissions are posted

Rules


PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Promote this fest in anyway you can. Reblog this post, mention the fest on other platforms, whatever. This is a really great way to help boost more content for these pairings, as well as give artists and writers a chance to show off their work. I also want to make this fest show off a good amount of alphafemaleshipping and seamountshipping as Hardenshipping, while it is my favorite ship :), tends to overshadow the two. So, alphafemaleshippers and seamountshippers this is your time to shine.

Because of Me

Hello you little nuggets! As promised, I have my fic. This time, it’s about Steve. Sorry to those of you who wanted some Bucky lovin’, but I was feeling some major Steve vibes today. It’s a short one, but I hope y’all still like it! Message me or ask me any requests before I close my requests. I said June 5th, right?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Word Count: 606

Warnings: anxiety, death, cursing

It’s a pretty angsty one, compared to my other fics.

Wanda and I were in her room, watching the news. Both of us were silent, heavily burdened with the event in Lagos. My breathing got loud and stormy, and Wanda’s got quiet and shallow. I knew she blamed only herself for the deaths, but it was both of us. She had been able to contain the explosion, but I wasn’t able to move it away from the civilians. It broke my heart to see my sister beat herself up over something that she didn’t have control over. Watching the reporters and anchors criticize us was not helping with the grieving process.

I grabbed the remote and turn the t.v. off. It wasn’t worth watching. We had heard it all before anyway.

“Turn it back on,” Wanda said monotoned. Her teary eyes still glued to the screen, she inhaled deeply. “I need to watch it.”

“Wan, we’ve seen this all before,” I reply, annoyed at her self-destructive behavior.

Steve walks in and leans against the wall. He heard our gloomy conversation, and felt obligated to console us.

“It’s not going to change what happened,” he says, looking down at his feet. He never said it, but he was carrying just as much guilt as us. “You guys did what you could.”

My somewhat controlled anger exploded at his words.

“But I didn’t! All those people died because of me! I failed, and those innocent people died. Because of me…” I cried. My wailing interrupted my words, and my screaming became incoherent sobs. Wanda, who was silently watching my explosion, knelt down next to me and cried into my shoulder. She tries to quiet my cries, whispering soothing words. All the memories of every bad thing that happened until now comes crashing into me. I shake violently, unable to breathe properly. I start sweating and making choked noises.

Steve sits down next to my shaking body and places his hand on my shoulder. He rubs his hand on my back, reminding me of his comforting presence. My cries have quieted to small whimpers.

“I have to go,” Wanda says, no longer able to hear my sobs. Seeing me like this broke her heart into a million pieces. She felt like she had failed me, her younger sister. Our mother had told her and Pietro to protect me. But Pietro was dead, and I was mentally dying. It was too much.

When Wanda is out of the room, he takes me into his arms. He whispers white noises, and strokes my hair lovingly.

“It’s okay,” he comforts. “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not, Steve. It’s not okay that those people died.” My cries are muffled as I bury my face into his chest. “I killed them.”

He kisses the top of my head affectionately, putting all his love and more into each kiss. He had always seen my strength and boldness side of me, but never this broken and discouraged side. There were no words that could alleviate my sense of guilt.

“This job…we save as many people as we can, but that doesn’t mean everyone.”

I seize my unintelligible sobs, and wipe my face. I look up at him through wet, red eyes. Nodding, I inhale through my nose.

“I know,” I sigh. “I know what I’m getting myself into, but…” I trail off. How do I even explain my feelings? I can’t. It’s too complicated and messy. But he knows how I feel.

“I love you, doll.” He plants a gentle kiss on my lips. “I love you so much.”

I manage a weak smile and put my arms around his waist. “I know that too.”

Originally posted by sheisraging

Overnight Flights

i thought of this when I was on the plane to Paris! I found it fucking hilarious on the plane but I was pretty loopy, so I’m not sure if it’s actually funny. There was a really hot flight attendant on the way to and back, so I, obviously, was inspired by that. Classic me. Send me requests soon! I will be closing requests on the 5th of June, so get ‘em in if y’all got any! Enjoy! Next one will be up tomorrow around the same time (June 1, 2016 at 11:30 or earlier).

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: bruh idk 

Warnings: anxiety/anxiety attacks, cursing

A/N: they are on a normal, civilian plane and Bucky is not happy about one of the stewards/ flight attendants. MEssage me if you guys want a part two or something.

I tapped the cold metal exterior of the plane, right before boarding.

“Why did you knock on the plane?” Bucky asks curiously.

I turn around to look back at him with a smile playing on my lips. He looks so cute with his Brooklyn cap, arm gear, and face mask. It was a precaution, we couldn’t have anyone recognizing the wanted “criminal” in the airport.Plus, the metal arm would’ve raised questions, to say the least. It wouldn’t have been pretty. And of course, Tony was “working on the jets” when we both needed it for a mission.

“For good luck,” I shrug nonchalantly. “I get scared of flying sometimes.”

Bucky took my hand from behind me and weaved his fingers between mine.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll keep you safe.” He kissed the top of my head reassuringly. Most of the time, being short was a handicap of sorts. But my shortness was a blessing when it came to top-of-the-head kisses.

I scoffed, “Like I need you to protect me.”

He laughed and stroked my head, “Just keep moving. You’re holding up the line.”

After taking my seat at 23B, and while Bucky put my luggage in the overhead compartment, I closed my eyes. My anxiety was getting slightly out of hand. Every possible worst case scenario played itself in my head, like a DVD on repeat. 

Bucky sat down next to me and placed his hand on mine. The warmth of his hand tranquilized my anxiety, but I still felt like I was going to throw up. My head was spinning and my breaths got shorter and my heart raced and I started getting slightly sweaty. I was on the verge of a full on anxiety attack.

“You okay, doll?” Bucky asks. He’s heard about my anxiety attacks, but had never been there next to me when it happened. In the jets, I felt less anxious because this was my job and there were other people that had the ability to stay calm…and fly. But here, if anything were to happen, people would start freaking out and that would make me freak out. It just wasn’t the same.

I open my eyes slowly, taking a deep breath. I look to my right, and nod. I can’t manage any words to tell him that I’ll be okay, but I hold his hand a little tighter to show him I’ll be alright.

“You know I can’t believe that Stark’s arm cover worked,” Bucky said, trying to distract me.

“Actually though, I thought you would get caught. I mean, you arm is pure metal,” I whispered, slightly chuckling. Thinking about how he didn’t get caught at the security checkpoint made me laugh. But when the pilot announced to get ready for take-off, I was back to an anxious state.

The take-off is just as shitty and awful as I thought it would be, but once in the air, I was able to loosen up a little. Finally, I felt less anxious. And kind of hungry.

“I wonder when they’ll start serving the food,” I whine. “They better do it now, or else I will start screaming.”

Bucky laughs at my dramatic hand gestures, “I’m sure they will soon, just try to calm down before you smack the lady on your left.”

I stick my tongue out at him and scrunch up my nose. While I took off my seat belt, I realize that I don’t have a blanket. Pouting, I bat my lashes at Bucky.

“I know that look. What do you want?” he sighs.

“Can I have your blanket? I’m cold,” I sniff. Usually, my pouty face and sad expression works, but not this time. He refused to give it to me, complaining that he was cold too.

I huff and plop back into my seat. “Fine, I’ll ask the stewardess.”

The lights flicker on and ding. A flight attendant came quickly to serve my useless needs. But I forgot what I needed as soon as I see his face. He was a gorgeous, tall, dark haired steward. He was muscular and tan, and he had very dreamy eyes. A model, pretty much. Did I mention he was also hot as fuck? I gaped at him, and he just smiled back.

“How can I help you, darling?” he asks politely. Judging by his accent, he was French. I wonder what he sounded like speaking french. Sexy, I imagine.

I try to hide my smile, blushing a little. Bucky sees that and knits his brows. He’s not happy about some guy calling you “darling”. His protective mode turns on, and now he’s very aware of the flight attendant.

“I was wondering if I could get a blanket,” I say shyly.

“Oui, madam, anything for you,” he smiled. “Je reviens. I will be right back,” he said turning off the lights, and heading to the back for a blanket. Definitely sexy speaking french.

Bucky squints at me with a suspicious look. He saw the pink tint on my cheeks and slightly flustered expression. Sensing his unhappiness, I raise my brow at him, questioning his behavior.

“You good?”

“No.” He pouted slightly. Damn, he was so cute when he was mad. I wanted to make him a little more jealous. But I knew he wouldn’t be happy about me teasing him.

“I know he’s hot, but you have nothing to worry about, okay?” I whispered, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “He’s nothing compared to you, babe.” He’s still not convinced. “You sound sexier speaking Romanian than him speaking French, ” you add sweetly.

He melted at my words, and softened his expression. But he tensed up again when the steward came back with the blanket.

He handed it to me with a smile, “Here you go.”

“Thank you very much, sir,” I smile back. 

Bucky watches the exchange carefully. Once he leaves, he gets jealous again.

“Did you touch your hand when he gave it to you?” he growls.

“Oh my god, Bucky are you kidding me?” I roll my eyes, sighing dramatically. “Relax, dude. He didn’t.” He doesn’t look convinced. “What are you so jealous about?”

“You just seem very taken by him,” he said curtly.

I laugh quietly, “I seem ‘taken’ by him?” He doesn’t reply. “Okay how ‘bout, later, I show you how I’m not ‘taken’ by him?”

He sees my flirty, kittenish smile. He grins slyly. “You better show me soon, or else I might get a little cranky.”

I punch him on the arm, shaking my head. “Alright soldier, we’ll go once everyone is asleep.”

“Thank god this is an overnight flight,” Bucky mutters gratefully. This earns us a look from the lady sitting next to me. She looks fucking appalled, eyes wide with shock. I smile at her apologetically, not knowing what to say.I turn my body towards Bucky, wanting to avoid any more awkwardness. Looking at Bucky, I grimace, but he looks happy as hell. He’s grinning from ear to ear. Smug son of a bitch.

Rolling my eyes, I rest my head on his shoulder. “God, this is going to be a long ass flight,” you mumble.

“Can we be loud? I want that stupid flight attendant to hear us.”

I inhale sharply, surprised. “What the fuck?” you say, a hint of amusement in my tone. “Bucky, you know you’re weirdly kinky.”

Review of Empire of Storms

Disclaimer: This is is my personal opinion. I am in no way stating what I say here is canon or accurate. It is my personal interpretation. If you disagree with my opinion or want to share your view on this with me–go for it! But if you are going to send me hate, do yourself (and me) a favor and don’t bother.

PREPARE FOR A GARGANTUAN POST

Non-Spoiler Section:

Rating: 4.25/5

Commentary: And so the highly anticipated 5th book has finally come out and I devoured it in ~6 hrs. upon receiving it in the mail yesterday. This book was amazing (I expected nothing less from Sarah J. Maas) and completely blew me out of the water with the plot twists, revelations, and the main pairing (kasfjkad so many feels). There were so many points in time (especially towards the end) when I kinda just slid down in my chair, had to stop reading, and just whisper, “Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. Holy shit.” 

But for all its glory and excellence, there were bits of the book that I was a bit mehhh about which is why I docked off 0.75 points. In my personal opinion, Empire of Storms wasn’t as good as Queen of Shadows or Heir of Fire (my most favorite book in the series) for various reasons. I just felt that the very emotional and raw side that was very present in Heir of Fire and about 55% present in Queen of Shadows just kind of took a backseat to allow for the action to take the front stage. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I kind of was just hoping for more–especially with Dorian’s arc. Some of the romance between the side-but still main-characters had me raising my eyebrows just simply because of how rushed or lust-driven they were. I don’t have any problems with the pairings themselves (because they’re REALLY interesting) but I had issues with the they were executed. 

Overall, though, this book was such a fun ride and I’m glad I sat on my ass for 6 hours to read it.

Spoiler Section

Keep reading