My aunt’s husband is a total fucking dickhead.
For some background, my mother’s family is Guyanese and mixed with Scottish, German and Amerindian, but mainly look black. My mother married a white Irish man (my dad) and I came out looking super duper pale with blue eyes and blonde hair. My brothers are both much darker because being biracial means getting a grabbag of genes.
My aunt (my mother’s sister) married a Nigerian immigrant who is lazy and racist. He came over for a PhD course (which he only passed because my aunt wrote his thesis and in the thirty years since has refused to work) and his distaste at being married into the same family as a white guy has manifested in a number of ways, from telling others that my dad has shouted racial abuse at him (witnesses confirmed he absolutely did not) to refusing to even speak to me because of my skin colour.
A few years ago he was shouting about something completely false and when I told him he was wrong, he tried to physically attack me for being ‘disrespectful’ and had to be held back by my dad and uncles. He was in his fifties and I was a sixteen year old girl.
I later heard from my grandfather that after he yelled at my aunt’s husband, he (aunt’s husband) said that if he faced any consequences (like being banned from family dinners or told off again for his treatment of me) he would take my cousins, leave my aunt and go back to Nigeria.
It’s been a few years since then. I’m an adult now, and I’ve steered clear of as many holidays as possible. I didn’t want my grandfather to have to choose between protecting me and seeing my cousins again. My grandfather made it clear he was on my side and would’ve physically removed the asshole from his home, but, of course, that would result in probably never seeing my cousins again. I didnt want him to make that choice.
My grandfather died this year. It was a pretty awful illness and I spent most of my time out of work inside of the hospital with him. My dad was there too - his father-in-law was the closest he had to a father. My grandfather taught me many things. Including that you shouldn’t allow people to ruin things for you. Things like family gatherings.
Now the thing about this dude is, on top of being lazy as shit, he’s super entitled. He fully believes that he is head of the family, despite everyone hating him and ignoring him. He believes he is owed deference and respect from all. He told my aunt that since I didn’t show him respect, she and my cousins were no longer to buy my xmas presents. I haven’t received a single one from them in years. So I set my plan into motion.
I don’t get paid a lot, but I saved from October onwards. I filled the tree in my grandfather’s old house with presents, one for every person in my family - bar one.
This morning, Christmas Day, I stood under that tree with my gifts in my arms and I gave every person there a present I had spent hours picking out. I went up to each individual, passing him several times while he looked at the gifts greedily, and handed everyone something they would’ve wanted. I got to drink in the look of guilt on the faces of my cousins and my aunt as I received one solitary present (from my mother’s brother) as they received a bunch from me. It was delicious.
Finally, there was one gift left under the tree - a single envelope. It said 'for all your help looking after grandfather’. I handed it to him. Inside were return Eurostar tickets to Paris for a long weekend. “Oh!” I said. “I’ve made a mistake! That’s my extra present to [Dad]!” And indeed, there was my father’s name on the tickets. He got to see every wonderful gift I got everyone else while he received nothing - nothing from me, nothing from my brothers who hate how he treats me, nothing from my uncles who hate him and only ever gave him things because my grandfather wanted to keep the peace to continue seeing his grandkids.
The cherry on top? I received a special gift from a friend today. He bought two square feet of land for me and an aristocratic title. I am now a Lady and even though it barely means anything, my family has been pretend bowing and scraping to me while ignoring him and his demands for respect and he’s now sulking and refusing to speak to anyone.
Merry fucking Christmas, Tony.