i want everyone to see this omg

I REALLY DON’T WANT THIS TO SOUND FAKE LIKE I PROMISE I MEAN THIS 100% BUT TAYLOR MEETING SO MANY FANS AND AND GOING SO OUT OF HER WAY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME LIKE??? I WANNA CRY… AND I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE REALLY SAD ABOUT IT OR FEEL LEFT OUT BUT I WISH YOU GUYS COULD ALL SEE IT THE WAY I DO LIKE I KNOW… I KNOW IT CAN BE SO DISHEARTENING WHEN IT’S NOT YOU I KNOW IT’S HARD WHEN omg why is this all in caps

anyway i know it’s hard when it seems like everyone you follow except for you is getting their turn and it’s easy to convince yourself that she doesn’t like you or you’ve done something wrong but that’s literally not true she genuinely loves us and wants to meet all of us and i just… it’s gonna happen ok it’s gonna happen because she loves us to much to let it not happen I JUST feel so cherished and i love taylor and i:

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

Wolfgang just appearing to everyone and not saying a word because he doesn’t know how to ask for help and he knows he’s in danger and he wants to see everyone one last time and he hopes they can feel his fear and that they’ll understand and help OMG IM NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

Okay so Lance...

This post sparked a headcanon in my head and I can’t stop imaging it now so I’m going to talk about it and develop it a bit more (feel free to add to it, share your opinion about it, talk to me about it, etc)

Considering its pretty much canon that Lance has a big family with the photo we saw in season one I can’t help but picture him with his siblings and cousins having soccer games whenever they’re together. Family gathering or not, I can totally see lance being a decent soccer player. 

Hear me out: 

- Lance plays soccer as a kid since his older sibling(s) did and his parents insisted he try some extracurriculars

- He sticks with it for quite a few years getting pretty good always enjoying it 

- But as he gets older his dreams of being a professional soccer player are replaced with piloting and the Garrison

- Everyone’s crushed when he quits because Lance had the potential to go pro and all his coaches said so

- He doesn’t think about it much and kind of just shrugs when people compliment his soccer skills, Lance doesn’t really believe he’s as great as everyone says he is because of his self-doubt and insecurities 

- Lets be real he’d totally look good in a soccer uniform and I bet he has all the merch of his favourite team including like three jerseys, two scarves, temporary tattoos, and a ball signed by his fave player (Keith sees Lance in a soccer jersey at some point and dies a little inside bc holy quiznak he looks so good??)

- On a particularly bad day when Lance is really missing home and his family Hunk catches on and suggests that they all play a quick game of soccer which totally brightens Lance’s mood

- After setting up two goals in the training room and briefing Allura and Coran about the rules and basic concept (Altea probs had the same sport just with a different name lets be real) they split into teams: Lance, Pidge, Shiro VS Keith, Hunk, Allura w/ Coran reffing 

- It starts off fun with everyone laughing and just trying their best but as soon as Lance and Keith butt heads it turns competitive and all hell breaks loose 

- Pidge being the dork she is doesn’t understand the hype over soccer and only continues to play because she’s enjoying spending time with the group (and she secretly wants to win lol for bragging rights) 

- Shiro is all “Keep it a fair game guys! You’re all doing great! Great pass Lance!” and is just happy to see everyone having fun and working together

- Keith is ride or die with any competition and is determined to take Lance down (while also trying to ignore how amazing Lance is bc I can’t get enough of pining Keith lol)

- Hunk is probably a soccer player too so he’s loving it, he’d be the best defence player omg

- Allura picks it up easily and is wicked good totally kicking everyone’s asses, she goes from ‘innocent team fun’ to ‘you’re all going down mfs eat my dust’ (Shiro is smitten af lol he keeps getting distracted by her flawlessness which makes Lance all “Dude! Get it together I am not losing to Keith!”)

- Coran is the best ref ever and is just cheering for everyone the entire time, he’d probably dress for the part too (omg imagine Coran with the black and white striped shirt, a black cap, and whistle lol

- It ends up a tie because the teams are equally good, also the game goes on for much longer than expected so they all get tired af and just finally give in satisfied with the game

- Coran brings out drinks and they all just chill together settling down; everyone’s sweaty and out of breath, they all have goofy grins 

- Lance quietly thanks Hunk for getting everyone involved and just sighs happily at his space family

- Just imagine it guys

- Also someone should totally draw this

- Just saying…

I showed this photo to some people because I wanted to see their reactions. The results:
straight man: OMG!
lesbian: OMG! 
gay man: OMG!
straight woman: OMG! 
my mother: OMG!
my grandmother: OMG!
my dog: OMG!
Conclusion of the study:
1)OMG!
2)Katie McGrath has the power to make everyone fall for her, no matter gender, sexual orientation, age, specie…

My self esteem has taken a huge hit since I cut off all my hair and I’m honestly so glad. I have been shattered. I got rid of something I was known for to an extent. I used my hair as a safety net. I let it define me. I relied on it a lot and I got a ton of attention for it. All the people flipping out over it telling me to grow it back just proves what a big deal it was and still is. I am forced to look at myself as a human being and decide who I am. I’m redefining myself. Some people are saying I’m being dramatic and it’s just hair or that I talk about it too much but I think it just shows how much people don’t understand. My appearance is such a huge part of my identity and it’s wrong. It’s harmful to me. I feel so much pressure to look perfect every day and if I don’t I feel like I don’t matter or I’m letting everyone down. Obviously that is so dramatic and not true at all but it’s such a weak spot for me. When people say things like “sorry you look better with long hair” or “you were prettier before” it can hurt me so bad if it’s at the wrong moment. I am so detached most of the time it really doesn’t affect me but if someone catches me in a weak moment it can get to me and bring me down. I’m tired of seeing myself for my outer shell. I’m tired of feeling scared people don’t love me anymore. As if the entire world loved me before anyway omg 🙄😑 the people who are telling me I’m not pretty anymore never loved me to begin with and I don’t want their approval or anything from them really. I need to stop caring about people who don’t know me. Everyone close to me has been SO supportive and encouraging and it’s been so fun. When I’m calm and comfortable and I look at my hair, my natural reaction is pure happiness. There is no fear, no doubt, no questions. I love my hair! If I wanna grow it out later I will but right now I do love it and want to keep it for a while. I only think about growing it out when the desire to please people starts to creep back in. Thoughts of growing it out come from a place of fear and that sucks. This entire new chapter has been about ditching fear and it genuinely has been so positive. There is the negative undercurrent of fear, yes, but it doesn’t negate the good. I want this to stop. People can and will say whatever they want but I’m doing my part to cut off all negativity. My self esteem is more important than random insensitive strangers on the internet who prefer long-haired women. There are so many accounts you can look at if you want some rapunzel chick. I can’t live for other people. Again, it’s not that they don’t love me anymore, it’s that they never did. The people that know me are so supportive because they know it’s not that big of a deal and that I am SO MUCH MORE THAN MY HAIR. But I need to remind myself of that!!!! And it’s time I show that to the world too. I have so much to share, so much I’ve created and so much that I think about and I intend to put that into the world this year. I am actually finding myself for the first time outside of my appearance. I’m seeing myself in a new light. Of course I’ve always been aware of the fact that I’m more than my looks, I consciously understand that but I can actually FEEL it now. I didn’t truly believe it before. I guess what I hope you guys can take away from this is that if people are defining you by something superficial or if YOU are, challenge that. You are more than what people say about you, what you look like, your circumstances, really anything external. You’re so much more. We have to get in touch with our value as humans, feel it, believe it, live it and SHARE it with the world. Confidence comes from knowing you are full of light and goodness and that no one can change that. I’m only sharing myself with safe people, people who know and understand me. I’m going to continue to be myself to the fullest and put myself out there but I’m no longer giving weight to what people think of my appearance. Of course it’s hard but I welcome the challenge. If I like it, that’s all that matters. My happiness is important and so is yours. So anyway I just wanted to update you guys on my life and let you know that recently I’ve been struggling with this but I’m working through it. If it seems like I’m always dealing with something, it’s because I am hahaha. That’s life when you’re in touch with your feelings, it’s not bad! It’s more challenging but WAY more fulfilling at the end of the day. I love feeling my feelings and acknowledging them and dealing with them, I didn’t always do that and my life was nowhere near as good as it is now. Overall I’m happy and very optimistic, I’m working on myself, my relationships, my music and my health and this year is already turning out to be one of the best yet, despite some bumps. Love you guys and hope this helps you understand me a little more 💜

EDIT: I wanna add on to the first thought that I’m glad my self esteem has been shattered. I wrote this in between takes while shooting a cover today and I forgot to finish that idea. I’m glad I’ve been shattered because I was building myself on a flimsy foundation. My infrastructure was so shaky and flawed, I was doing okay but I needed to be rebuilt. Those pieces of me that were clinging to other people’s opinions and approval needed to crumble so I could rebuild into a better, stronger version of myself. This is a theme in my life. Every few years, whatever pieces of me start to go in a bad direction are eventually destroyed and then I rebuild into a better version of myself haha

anonymous asked:

Omg i only left for two days i swear what happened at comic con why is everyone shading the supergirl peeps

hmm where to start,

- First the cast (minus Katie, Odette and David) made fun of fans seeing supercorp romantically with jordan singing about how they are just friends and will never get together

- He then posted two (2) “apologies” on instagram 

- Forehead dude and the girl of crack liked them then Mehcad commented something that i didn’t want to read tbh

- “It’s not toxic, it’s not unhealthy” - forehead lmao

- then the girl on crack talked about how the loss of manhell was like kara losing her world lmao 

- also forehead making homophobic comments and mehcad, his gf on crack and the other white boi while david, katie and odette are plotting their characters’ deaths

- Beautiful and amazing Chloe Niccole did this and now the lead of supergirl wants to sue her lmao

- Still no apology from her or anything really

- Big kudos and love to the love of my life Katie McGrath for defending, speaking up for us, lgbt fans.

Love to Katie, Odette and David for not going along with the homophobic jokes I stan them


Basically the whole Supergirl cast is cancelled except Katie, David, Odette and Chyler. You didn’t miss much

The Real Infinity War

A/N: Enjoy this alternative to Infinity War with less feels.


Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has added Bruce.

Tony: I have a science bro.

Tony has added Stephen.

Tony: I have an awesome facial hair bro.

Tony has added T'Challa.

Tony: I have a billionaire bro.

Tony has added Peter.

Tony: I have a kid bro.

Tony has added Y/N.

Tony: I have a best friend bro.

Tony has added Natasha.

Tony: I have a traitor bro.

Tony has added Vision.

Tony: I have a grankid bro.

Tony has added Steve.

Tony: I have an old bro.

Tony has added Rhodey.

Tony: I have a bro bro.

Tony: Get it, Rhodey? Because you’re like family to me.

Rhodey: Bro.

Tony: Bro.

Keep reading

Want to rig a card game so you'll win, then insist we play it every time? We'll see about that...

LTL, FTP, etc. I apologize already if I don’t get the formatting right.

This happened several years ago.

I spent most of my time with a relatively small, fairly close-knit group of friends (about 10-12 people). We hung out together probably once a week or so at someone’s house, but not everyone showed up every time, so it was usually 6-8 people each time.

I enjoyed the company of most of these people very much, but I couldn’t stand one guy for many reasons (keep reading - you’ll understand some of them).

Let’s call him David (obviously not his real name).

I’d say most of the people I spent time with were of about average intelligence, maybe even a bit above that (stick with me, this is mildly important for the story).

David, however, had an amazing brain. Picture a mind like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang theory, but without the scientific - or really any major - success (mostly because David smoked way too much pot, but that’s not the point here).

For context, I’m also above average in intelligence, but not on David’s level (I’ll give him that).

Our group of friends would often play board games or card games together into the late hours of the night. I began to notice a  pattern emerge whenever David was with us - he would always insist upon playing a specific card game, so we would indulge him (we played other games if someone asked,too).

I’m not sure how many people are familiar with this game, but David called it “Slap Jack”. Basically, for those who don’t know, people sit in a circle with stacks of cards in their hands and toss a card in the middle, and then the next person does the same.  Anytime two cards match (like two 3s in a row) OR if a jack comes up, the first person to slap a hand down on the pile gets to keep it. If you slap your hand down when you shouldn’t (it’s not a match to the prior card or a jack), you have to give up all but three of the cards still in your hand. You continue the game as long as you want or until one person has all the cards and they win.

Sounds simple, right?

The big thing was that David went out of his way to create rules to “make sure no one has an unfair advantage” (he would repeat this phrase many times every time we played). His rules were things like you have to put your card down a certain way, you can’t sit a certain way, etc.

OK, whatever. No one objects and everyone wants a fair game.

As we play this game a few times, I begin to notice that David is regularly winning the game - far too regularly for it to be random. No one else is picking up on it and then the game is over and David has won again.

So the next time David insists we play and once again reiterates the rules to “make sure no one has an unfair advantage”, I start watching him more intently but without making it obvious.

I want to find out how he’s winning so much, and soon the answer reveals itself. David’s hand goes out to slap down when a jack hits the board BEFORE he could possibly have seen that the card was even a jack. Still, it was a jack, so he gets to collect the entire pile beneath it. It happens again - and again. He knows what is coming before it arrives.

David loved playing this game because he was memorizing the order of the cards, giving himself an advantage over everyone else.

Normally I wouldn’t care. The guy was going the extra mile to win, so be it. I admire that kind of effort in many cases.

BUT…This was different, because DAVID was the one who designed many rules of this game “to make sure no one has an unfair advantage” Yet that’s exactly what he had, and why he was winning so much.

THE PETTY REVENGE:

Instead of calling him out, I decided to use my newfound knowledge against him.

As we continued to play, I slapped down on a match and won a big stack of cards (David didn’t get them all, just more than everyone else due to his memorization). As the game continued, I used subtle motions to shuffle the cards in my hands as much as I could.

It took a bit, but you can guess what happened next. David slapped down WAY too quickly on what he thought would be a jack coming from my hands - but it wasn’t a jack. I loudly point out his slapping down when he shouldn’t and how he has to give up all but three of his cards.

Still, David made this revenge even better.

“That was supposed to be a jack!” he shouted in anger.

“And you’re supposed to slap when you see it IS a jack!” I said loudly, to laughter from everyone.

I saw realization come over David’s face, and his fire-spitting rage turned to me.

“You’re NOT supposed to shuffle your cards!” he roared.

“Why would that matter?” I asked, smiling back at him. “Matter of fact, I think we should ALL shuffle our cards every time we collect them.”

Then I lay it on him.

“You know, in the interest of making sure no one has an unfair advantage.”

As David’s eyes shot daggers at me when he realized exactly what I’d done, everyone in the group quickly agreed with me and he couldn’t possible object because of his own mantra.

The game continued with EVERYONE shuffling their cards, ruining his advantage of memorizing the order. Surprise, surprise - David didn’t win this time.

Funny, when our group got together after that, David never again insisted upon playing his formerly favorite card game.

I want Julian to have a room with full of Livvy’s portrait like in LM. And to think he did it because he’s afraid of forgetting details of her face and etc. And Tavvy omg. He would definitely forgot his sister’s face and silhouette if he doesn’t see her face regularly. He would allow everyone to see this room unlike his “Emma room” so everyone can remember Livvy and how young & amazing she is. And I believe that Clary, Jace and Lightwoods come and see the room, left flowers there etc. AND it would be Julian’s coping mechanism. Nope I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Literally how I became happy.

A lot of you guys are always concerned about me because the more that I share, the more you realize I’m a real person with struggles and issues and I’m not 100% okay 100% of the time haha so I just wanna give an update and share some insight on how I’ve been doing and what I’ve been working on.
The hair cut is the visible part. The change is sooooo real. I look like a different person but I seriously FEEL like one. Surface changes: I live in Tennessee. I have short blonde hair. I’ve now dated two guys that I actually loved. I own a house and a car. Before, I lived in California, I had freaking long brown hair, I shared a mini van with four other people, I’d never been on a date and truly questioned whether I’d ever meet anyone that liked me for who I was, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life past like two years into the future and I felt like I would live with my parents forever. So a lot of big things have changed but honestly the biggest changes happened inside with less visible results. You can only see it in my smile and hear it in my words. But really you’ll see it in my actions over the next 12 months. It’s just the beginning.
I honestly don’t know where it came from. The last six years I have been so passive. My life has been happening to me. There have been some breakthrough moments where I learned a lot about myself and my confidence and self love, yes. I had some good times for sure. But as far as knowing what I want and where I wanna go, I was not good at that. I felt SO powerless and began to withdraw more and more, in my friendships, my career, our band, my family, everything. I shared so little each day, I had so few ideas, I didn’t create much, I only wrote when I was really upset or inspired (which wasn’t that often), I had no social life, no vision for myself, no confidence that anyone would ever love me and I just wasn’t living a rich life at all. I was an observer hoping that one day someone or something would come along and make my life actually enjoyable. I was constantly waiting. I journaled a lot and released a lot of emotion, that part was good. I just felt like I was living in a cave, stuck in the past, not doing much each day to actually experience life.
Then we moved across the country. *shock* *panic* *whoa*. That was the first time I was really shaken up.
Then I had my heart broken. Twice. I fell in love and both times it didn’t work out. I NEEDED that, to meet people who actually got me and appreciated my personality and loved all my quirks and my strange mind and how childlike I am. For the first time I felt understood. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so closed off for so long and suddenly I was ripped open. Someone was asking for my time and attention and I had to give it to them. I was so scared but I really wanted to experience that side of life so I had to let those people see me and experience who I was. It was so good for me omg. I felt like my heart was shriveled and frozen before that, it had seen the sun maybe three times, but once that happened it absolutely bloomed. Not everyone has to fall in love to open their heart but for me that’s how it happened.
Anyway it was really intense and pushed me to the edge, dealing with that loss. I cut off all my hair. I just had enough. I was so drained. I had felt so vulnerable throughout my dating experiences, such a long period of trusting and hoping after so many years of doing the opposite, I guess I became a little over exposed. I pictured myself feeling tough and strong after a particularly intense weekend of fighting and I saw myself with no hair. It was kind of a crazy idea at first but it turned into a real desire. After a few days of thinking it over, I took the plunge.
What. A. Rush.
Suddenly I just wanted to feel alive. I went a little overboard but I did so many things. Concerts, road trips, bonfires, social plans nonstop, shopping, reinventing my style… I was really hurting during this time and I just wanted to feel better. I don’t regret doing so much but I’m glad I came down after a month and examined myself. I realized how much I was hurting and I faced it. I felt scared, hurt, abandoned, broken and vulnerable but it was comforting to identify that. Once you face it, you can feel it, release it and eventually let it go.
In October I realized I wanted more. I actually had dreams. Cutting my hair showed me I could have an idea, see it through and that it could actually go well! I wanted that on a bigger scale. I started writing again, all the time. I took an interest in my appearance again. Before, I just wanted people to think I’m pretty. Of course I still do but now it’s so much more than that. It actually is for me. When my outfit/makeup/overall look matches my mood, I feel so much more confident, comfortable with myself and ready to take on the day. Even in my work out clothes, I always try to coordinate them now and make them feel good because I know I just do more with my day when I feel confident and ready to put myself out there. You don’t need to look perfect AT ALL, in fact sometimes that can cause more stress because it puts more pressure on you. Just take the time to put yourself together and feel GOOD about what you’re wearing each day. It seriously makes a huge difference. And especially DO NOT wear anything that makes you feel bad. GET RID OF IT!!!! All your clothes should make you feel cute in some way.
Idk how this happened but I kind of just realized nothing is a big deal. The way I used to live, EVERYTHING was a HUGE deal. Texting a guy? Leaving the house? Spending 30 dollars? Calling someone first? All terrifying things I dreaded and avoided at all costs. I had to work through so much INTENSE anxiety when I first started dating, it was really sad how much that freaked me out and how much I had to work through just to get to a point where I felt comfortable going on one date or being the object of a man’s attention. I felt so incredibly unworthy.
Anyway, maybe it was the hair cut but sometime around then I just became really bold. Right now I feel like almost nothing scares me. My biggest fear is probably trusting people that have hurt me. That’s one thing I can think of that I’m struggling with and truly terrifies me, trying to rebuild broken relationships. I’m having help working through that. Other than that, there are so few things I won’t try, won’t pursue, won’t say to someone. I am becoming more bold, confident, comfortable in my own skin and sure of myself with each passing second. I just feel GOOD. Nothing is that big of a deal! Seriously force yourself to take more risks and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. You can spend weeks, months, even years fearing things and trying to predict what will happen but once you finally do them you’ll see just how unnecessary all that stress was. Nothing is that hard, that daunting, that permanent. Heck, even tattoos can be removed these days.
I think that was the biggest change of all so far: the removal of fear. Fear used to be the gas in my tank, it absolutely fueled me. Now it’s faith. I am so ON FIRE for my life!!!!!! I have so many exciting dreams I want to pursue, so much I want to create, so many places I want to go, things I want to experience, learn, master, people I want to meet and be around….. I love it all. I decide what I want and I go after it. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I’m starting to look as bold and unique as I feel. The long hair was beautiful and fun and maybe one day I’ll want it back but for now, it just feels too plain for how colorful and out of the box my mind is. I always used my mind a lot but I wasn’t exploring it much before. Now that I’m embracing my unconventional brain, I just want to express that openness and share it with the world.
Also I’ve noticed I’m getting disappointed comments from traditional, conformist men I never wanted to date anyway that used to love my hair 😂 so no offense but I was never interested in you anyway, there are soooooo many long haired women in the world you can comment on that you’ll probably never even meet but i’m just one less you need to worry about hahaha. All of the bold men that liked me before just like me more now. And I think it’s because I also like myself more! Confidence attracts confidence! I’m growing into the baller I was born to be and it’s just helping me attract more ballers 😂😂
BTW THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING LONG HAIR OR A MORE SIMPLE STYLE I FULLY SUPPORT IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON OR LIVE A WILD UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE TO BALL OUT ON EVERYONE THATS JUST HOW I CHOOSE TO DO IT HAHA. EVERYONE IS A BALLER IN THEIR OWN WAY I EMBRACE AVERAGE LOOKING PEOPLE AND WILD LOOKING PEOPLE, AS LONG AS YOURE LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE AND CHOOSING WHAT TRULY FULFILLS YOU!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE JUST LIVE IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT 🙌🏼
Anyway, I feel so much more confident in myself, men or no men. It’s funny cuz I finally stopped worrying about guys and now I actually interact with them the way I always wanted to hahaha.
I no longer rely on the approval of others to get through the day. I no longer feel paralyzed by fear every morning and night. I no longer ponder whether I’m worthy of a date or not. I no longer look in the mirror and sigh. I no longer think of the future as a blurry grey blob filled with hopelessness, uncertainty and fear. I know it will be whatever I make it and I am going to make it freaking phenomenal.
That’s a huge key, putting YOURSELF in the drivers seat. Forget this message of victimization. You are the person holding yourself down but YOU can be the one to lift yourself up!!!! Wow I just got a huge craving for meat loaf and mashed potatoes. HAHAHA. Anyway, put yourself in control. Ask God for guidance. Trust that you are taken care of always because YOU ARE. Embrace yourself. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Stop thinking you’re unlovable. Realize how cool you are and how much you have going for yourself. Jump in and try things. Stop thinking you have to be “ready”. THE LESSONS OF FAILURE ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PRIZES OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, go kill it. Embrace yourself. Blossom. Live. Come alive. You got this 👊🏼💗

Hey everyone! So you may remember a previous post of mine where August 9th was declared Bottom Hannibal Day. Well @cannibalcuisine​ and I got together and decided to make it a little more “official,” so…

         On Wednesday, August 9th, we humbly invite                    everyone to participate in Bottom Hannibal Day! 

BUT WHYEvery few months, this fandom spends a few days bogged down in the discourse of Bottom Hannibal, usually spurred by someone who is vocally unhappy that they had to witness it in some form or another. Recently the fandom has acknowledged that this gets a little tiresome, so, we propose making this less about repetitive discourse, and more about celebrating our favorite cannibal getting the pounding he truly deserves. After all, this fandom is full of Top Hannibal/Bottom Will, and it’s important to remember, in the words of Bryan Fuller, “They flip.”

OMG WHEN/HOW: On August 9th, post your Bottom Hannibal contributions with the hashtag #BottomHannibalDay or just #BottomHannibal. Please feel free to tag @cannibalcuisine and I (@feyestwords) as well, we’d love to see everything & will be reblogging works. We will also likely add a collection to AO3 for the day (depending on how many people intend to participate).

WHAT?!: Not just fanfiction or art - everyone is invited to contribute whatever they want. Videos, manips, edits, gifsets, murals, dissertations, powerpoint lectures, interpretive dance - all are welcome.

                           We can’t wait to see your beautiful work!

How season 7 of Game of Thones should have been:

After the lords are questioning Jon’s decisions- 

Arya: Hey Sansa wtf why didn’t you totally go crazy on those dudes for questioning Jon. Like we should kill them. 

Sansa: Yo chill little sis. Remember when Robb killed Karstark and then everything went to shit. That’s not how we can play things. 

Arya: Oh shit you right. By the way I totally don’t trust Littlefinger. He’s a bitch. 

Sansa: Totally agree, but we need a reason before we can take him out. 

Arya: Yeah I guess and you know we should really talk about the shit we went though to better understand each other. 

Sansa: Great idea, sis!  Now let’s go see Ghost bc he’s still here and everyone wants him in the show. 

Girls go play with Ghost bc I know y’all have the budget for it. 


After Littlefinger leads Arya to Sansa’s letter- 

Arya: Girl, did you tell Littlefinger to hide this letter you wrote to Robb when you were being held hostage by the Lannisters and dad was a prisoner and it clearly sounds like that bitch Cersei. 

Sansa: Whaaaaaat!?! No, why? 

Arya: Bc he totally wanted me to find it and I think he’s trying to use it to turn us against each other, which is dumb bc you were a child and it was a scary situation. Also the tv version of my character spent the better part of season 2 as Tywin Lannisters servant. Ya know cause we were all just trying to survive. 

Sansa: Woah crazy, but also what a stupid plan, Littlfinger is better than this. We should ask Bran about this bc he hasn’t really participated in anything for awhile. 


Later on with Bran -

Sansa: Bran we need your help.

Bran: emotionless I’m the three-eyed raven.

Sansa and Arya: We know.

Sansa: So wtf is Littlefinger up to. 

Bran: Confirms everything the girls thought and tells them about how the dude basically started all the shit. 

Arya: Cool thanks B. I’m gonna go kill him now.

Sansa: Ok sis have fun!

-high fives all around- 

Bran: goes back to staring at the wall or something.


Daenerys after Yara is taken captive - 

Dany: I’m going to get Yara bc we’re allies and thats what allies do. Also while I’m there I think I’ll burn all of Euron Greyjoys ships and kill him bc Idk him yet but I already hate him. 

Everyone: Omg yas!! He’s literally the worst. 


Jon at Eastwatch with the squad - 

Jon: Before we actually go on this super dangerous wight hunt I’m gonna write Sansa and see what she thinks about this whole trip. 

Sansa’s response to letter talking about wight hunt- 

Sansa: Dude, Cersei will never help anyone don’t even try. This is way more dangerous and will probably be pointless. All y’all need to come chill at Winterfell. Bring the Sandor Clegane I really want to see him and Arya said for Gendry to get his ass over her bc ya know reunion time!!! Also Bran wanted me to tell you not to have sex with anyone until he can talk to you first, he’ll explain when you get here just keep it in your pants for now. 


No useless sister fighting. Bran does some productive shit for once. Everyone goes to Winterfell. Euron’s fleet is destroyed. My beautiful Yara is saved. Sansan and Gendrya reunions actually happen.  NIGHT KING DOES NOT GET A DRAGON. 

third wheel [michael m. x reader]

prompt where michael x reader are dating but for some reason jeremy doesnt like the reader and the reader doesnt want to ruin their friendship so they end things and michael just loses it and jeremy sees hes fuked up and then goes to the reader to explain and jeremy and reader are friends and michael and reader are haply and everyone is happy!!! or whateves you wanna do with the prompt just like reader n’ jeremy beef lmao )

omg y e s i l oveit because jeremy. i love jeremy a lot guys

i said this in the tags but the dots at the end are typing dots which is why they’re bold

warnings: 


    Jeremy was looking at you. 

    Not just looking - he was staring you down, and you didn’t really get why at first. The way his gaze lingered on you whenever you’d slide into the seat next to Michael and greet him with a kiss on the cheek, just blinking in the sight of the two of you. The way his grip would tighten around a fork or the strap of his backpack or a pencil when you’d press a quick kiss to Michael’s cheek. The way he’d greet you, voice shaking slightly at your sudden entrance as he said your name as if something was wrong with it and you and what did you do to him what’s wrong. Michael apparently didn’t see it, for he was enamored with you in every way - his hand always slipping into yours without a second thought and pulling you slightly closer so your shoulder would gently bump against his, apparently unable to feel the burning stare into his back - which was always the exact moment you realized Jeremy had been pushed back behind the two of you.

     And it affected everything. The awkward silence between you and Jeremy the moment Michael left the room; the delay in texts when it was just Jeremy asked what Michael was up to when the answer was that he was with you; the fact that Michael asked you if Jeremy seemed different, like someone was telling him what to do when he grew too distant, only for him to suddenly reappear, acting as if everything is alright even though his eyes would never meet yours and he just seemed so damn far away from you - and you noticed how he’d retreat from conversations if you and Michael started taking over with your own couple-y stories.

     So one day you hid in the bathroom during lunch - just as an experiment to see how Jeremy would react. You texted Michael you had something to do for a class before heading upstairs, away from where anyone could find you easily. When you saw Jeremy in the hall later, he was different. He was happier, more sure of what he was saying - the way it was with them before you and Michael started dating. So you started making excuses, either skipping lunch entirely or leaving early or “suddenly” having things to do when the three of you would hang out. Jeremy was happier, Michael got his best friend back in little, subtle ways, and you?

     You were conflicted. Could anyone blame you? Your boyfriend’s best friend didn’t like you-

    Holy shit.

Keep reading

Becky Sue

This is a bit of a rant, sorry for any gratuitous swearing.

I know there’s the term ‘Mary Sue’, but I feel like there should be a ‘Becky Sue’, because both in fiction and life, white women are made out to always be the one who is right, the one who needs protecting, etc. There’s white privilege, and I feel that when a white woman against a PoC is involved, the privilege is taken to an even higher level because white women are always seen as the innocent ones.

I feel that the worst kind of Becky Sue in fandom and fiction are the ones that write stories where PoC only exist to fucking bow down to them and be there only to accomplish whatever goal they have. Like a PoC man sees a white woman at the beginning of a fic and is like–

 'Omg, it’s a white woman and she’s the prettiest most precious woman I’ve ever seen and I know absolutely nothing about her, but this is love at first sight and I’m going to marry her as soon as possible. Nothing else matters. Not my family or my identity, nothing. I’m just here to please/worship the ground of Becky Sue.’

It’s fucking nauseating. Then they have the Becky Sue writers who make their Becky Sue characters complete disgusting bitches to PoC, and when they get called out for it, they’ll be like: 'Oh em gee, you’re misguided, you’re a drama queen. Like, just don’t read my story and let me have my fantasy of shitting all over PoC in peace.’

And then there’s the Becky Sue writers who write kind, intelligent PoC out-of-character (because if there’s a kind PoC character, white people have to knock them down a few pegs though shitty writing, jokes, or white-washing) then when this is pointed out they’ll be like, 'Omg, not everyone sees everything the way you do. I don’t care about the source material, I just want to treat PoC like trash.’

Then, there’s the Becky Sues that will make up excuses for their racism and microaggressions with fake (or real) excuses like: 'Oh em gee. I have depression let me write whatever I want.’ Or, 'Oh em gee. I have Stigmata and a hang nail so you can’t criticize me.’ Or, when all else fails, just resort to name calling and flipping the situation around (white women’s favorite tactic) to where they say the big bad PoC is being a 'troll’ or 'mean’, or a dick, asshole, etc. And they’re the victim of harassment.

Or, another Becky Sue will come along and be like, 'Omg, your Becky Sue character and her shitty treatment of PoC is the best thing I’ve ever read! This is better than any novel I’ve ever read! You’re the greatest writer ever! Like, your Becky Sue is SOOO down to earth!’

Or, they’ll be like: 'Oh em gee, pointing out my racism is a personal attack. Becky Sues unite! Take down the big bad PoC!’

Just because you have depression or whatever, that doesn’t give you the right to be a fucking racist, and to treat PoC characters like trash. It doesn’t exempt you from being called out or criticized either. If you can’t write (or draw) PoC without being gross, racist garbage. STOP - FUCKING - WRITING - ABOUT THEM, if you’re that fragile to criticism. (I guess white women compare themselves to porcelain because they’re fragile and crack at the tiniest thing–I guess their evil ways is also one thing that makes their looks crack at an earlier age too. *pettyTM*)

I think that white people who are adamant about writing PoC like that are TRYING to antagonize PoC. And may karma just kick them in the fucking ass, please.

Plenty of PoC deal with both depression and OPPRESSION on a daily basis. And do most white people care? Here’s a tiny hint…HELL, FUCKING, NO.

Representation and the things you write do have an effect on others. Don’t try to make excuses or pretend that it doesn’t. 

Can PoC writer’s/fanfic writers and artist start tagging their work as 'PoC writer’, 'PoC artist’? Or 'Black writer,’ etc., etc.

I’m so drained of navigating through klandom’s filth, and having to handle white people (many who claim to be “progressive”) with kid gloves for every little thing because they can’t take discussions about anything that isn’t about glorifying everything they do, or anything that takes the focus off their white world.

submitted by  anon

____________

I’ve been thinking about starting some rec lists of fanfic writers of color maybe we could do that?

mod m

SKYDIVE: WHERE JONGUP HAS POOR EYESIGHT

-*squints*
- “wait I thought these shoes were black”
- “Is daehyun flirting with someone? wow good thing I can’t see”
-“oh lord the girl I kidnapped better be his girlfriend”
- “Invisible ink was a bad idea but then again I’d probably not be able to see what I write anyway”
-“why the fuck did I call him to a dark alley”
-“okay is the gun on his head? I’ll just linger a little longer than I have to to make sure”
-“I hope he appreciates the photos. All pics are poor lighting pics for me”
-“Are those teddy bears on Yongguk’s sweater”
-“Me? And reading a book? if Daehyun was smart enough he’d have figured it out”
-*squints*
-“well I really can’t see where my bullets are going let me just shoot the guy 200 times”
-“how close am I to Himchan’s face”
-“WAIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HOLD THE HANDLE OF THE KNIFE NOT THE BLADE THIS HURTS”
-“did I just jump over a crate or was it Junhong”
-“I want to shoot Yongguk but I can’t tell where he is someone help”
-“OMG I TRIPPED LET ME JUST PRETEND I GOT SHOT NOW”
-“is this youngjae’s hand or leg around me”
-“is everyone dead? it’s silent? i can’t see? I’ll just wait a little”
-“gosh I hope they think my staggering is dramatic effect”
-“Daehyun’s still alive? Well I gotta kneel down I really can’t see”
-*squints*
-“oKAY THIS TIME I’ll just use his own hand to guide the gun”
-“fuck where’s the trigger let me just smile at him”
-“Jongup, you’re cool, play it cool, don’t trip over a body”
-“where the hell are these buttons I need to show off my bulletproof jacket do you understand how long it took me to wear it”
i don’t know what this is guys, but you can blame @roses-for-jongup for inspiring me and @zeloswaffles for furthering my thoughts. bless.

3

kagehina part from ouran au!! reposting bc i deleted by accident omg help me

Kageyama had always wanted to see what a convenience store looked like because everyone knows how mysterious are proletarians for ouran students. The convenience store he visited happened to be Hinata’s uncle’s, where Hinata helps from time to time. Needless to say, Kageyama developed a big crush on him as soon as he saw him and started coming regularly to see him again. (but kags being kags, he still feels too awkward to talk to him normally)