i want all of you to go home

anonymous asked:

I like the song cause she admitted she thought about cheating (she straight up wanted him to go home with her) tbh and that she wasn’t perfect. But guess what? It happens and like you said when you find yourself thinking of someone else while with dating someone else then it’s a wake up call that you should break it off.

that’s a prevalent supplemental theme ive been noticing with the three songs we’ve heard so far. basically her stripping herself of the ‘victimizing chick’ label she’s been given

LWYMMD: when she writes “maybe i got mine but you’ll all get yours” she’s like yeah i probably deserved this for what i did that one time because i know i wasnt shit for that but you damn sure arent perfect either fam

RFI: “stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry” honestly there’s the bonnie and clyde situation that’s self explanatory like i know you have skeletons and dude i gottem too but what ever

Gorgeous: the whole ass song is screaming “THIS IS NOT RIGHT” so like lmao

— off limits | 07 (m)

pairing— kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings—romance, smut and drama !! who’s about to be found out ???  
words— 9,472

:: summary— you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

   » 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: 07 ::

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Thoughts

“I see.”

Harry murmured under his breath as he nodded even if he didn’t have the slightest bit of what you were saying as the last thing he heard was on how you fatigued you are, his eyes focused on the glaring screen in front of him as in truth, something better is the center of his attention.

He felt maybe just a little bit guilty that you’re saying these things to him that didn’t even sink over his consciousness, you being the one to not notice the big smirk on his face as you were occupied in letting out all the complaints you reserved to say in this FaceTime.

“And it wasn’t even when-…”

Harry hummed, tilting his head as his back’s pressed onto the pillow that served as the support to it as he’s sat upright on the bed, a grin on his face being showcased that made you stop.

“You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

You breathed in deeply as Harry already catched the blush that’s present within your cheeks as you didn’t waste any time in going back to releasing your remaining pent-up stress within, him being the one to rest his head on his hand.

He wanted to take in every detail as he didn’t even warn you that he already took on what he thinks is already the tenth screenshot throughout the call, thankful that the hotel’s wifi processed the call that made you on the other side crystal clear, a grin on his face each time.

“Pretty eyes too.”

You let out a heavy sigh, a little smile on your face as you rested slowly against the bed with a knowing look, lips pressed into a thin line that tried not to show how maybe you’re a little amused.

“You weren’t listening, were you?”

“Sorry.”

Harry said through a grin as he did mean it seriously as he noticed the little irritated expression in your face that he wanted to fix, slightly pouting as he offered more words of apology that made you finally budge.

“Fourth. Fourth time that this happened, Harry,” you motioned, chuckling as Harry pouted as he’s a bit embarrassed that it repeated that many times, covering his face with a pillow as he groaned.

“S’not my fault you’re distracting!”

“Oh it’s my fault now?”

The rebuttal you provided made the both of you laugh, a feigned frown being provided too by Harry that made the situation all too heartwarming which the both of you wanted it to be at the moment.

There was silence in the middle of it, his hand rubbing his eyes as he swears he really misses you and wanted nothing else but to see you, even going to the point in where he’d ask for a video of you just doing anything as he’ll watch it until he falls asleep.

“All aside, I miss you though, love.”

Harry admits, he really isn’t a fan of detachment in some aspects but this toll just made him hate it all together.

“You have no idea how much I do too, H.”

He chuckles that sounds a bit pained, raising his phone so it could be pointed at the space behind him as he was so used to occupy less of it since he became so adapted to your sleeping positions.

“Even left a space for you here.”

Harry smiles, a little heavy on his part as he did want to go home but had a job to do as well, each day passing that nears to your visit making him a bit more excited everyday.

And he knows, for a fact, that he’ll be distracted again once he sees you as in the first place, it really isn’t a distraction since you are his focus and it’s the other way around, everything else being disregarded.

It’s the little things that remind Harry of you, whether it was a reference you made or a spot that you wanted, it was there with him.

Truth is, he never really forgets them.

And by the moment he sees you, whether through a screen or in person, it floods back in again, every statement becoming stamped into his mind and containing nothing else but thoughts that involved the future.

Love you.”

Google search: how to fill the mother shaped hole I have in my chest.

What do I fill it with? I’ve tried
taking the most maternal pieces I’ve found
in my therapists and stuffing it into my chest
like toilet paper in a bra but something
always goes wrong. Blood seeps
deep into toilet paper rapidly & then becomes
more danger than gauze & I can’t help
but remove it from my heart because
the maternal parts of the therapist
didn’t belong there in the first place &
everyone knew it except for me.

Google search: how to accept the fact that I will never have the mom that I have always needed.

That no matter what I do or say,
or how much I plead with whatever power
lives up above and decides what happens
here on earth to give me a re-do or
to give me a woman here who will take on
the mother role,
I will never have the mom
I have always needed.

Google search: what is it going to take for me to move forward knowing I will never have what I need?

What has to happen for me to stop
taking a blade to the soft flesh of my wrist
every time I don’t get what I need?—
every time I look for a mom in the eyes
of the nice woman working at TGI Fridays or
the dental hygienist who cleans my teeth
& wipes a tear from my cheek while I shake
in the dentist chair & tells me
I did a good job when it’s over or
every time a person who my mind has
already labeled “fill-in mom” doesn’t
fit inside the mother shaped gaping
wound in my heart.

What has to happen in order for me
to stop searching for love inside eyes
that do not have what I need inside them?

What has to happen in order for me
to stop emptying myself out when those people
who I want to love me like a mother loves
her daughter don’t have that capacity?

Google search: tell me a good story about your own mom.

Tell me about the time when she
rubbed your back & sang a lullaby to your
sick, aching heart. Tell me about
how she made you chicken noodle soup
& stayed home from work with you
because she loved you & wanted to do
nothing more than help you
feel better.

Tell me about the time when
you fell down & scraped your knee &
you went crying to your mommy & she
grabbed a pretty baindaid & kissed
your bruise & said, “all better!”

Tell me about your first break up & how
your mom came home early that day
with ice cream & trashy movies &
held you in her arms as you cried
until you had nothing left in your heart but
the love of your mommy’s soft touch.

Google search: how to make it stop hurting so much.

I can’t go a day without feeling this
missing piece inside of me & some days
it aches less than others but on the days
when the aching has total hold of me
there is no relief. No one can do anything
to make it better; there is no word in the world
that could save me from the pain of knowing
that I will have to live the rest of my life
without the love I needed maternally.

I need to find a way to stop hurting;
a way to make the world stop turning on the days
when the pain takes control of my body
& all I can feel is the way my mom’s touch
was a bullet & she was the gun &
I need to find a way to make the noose
around my neck loosen its grip before
I suffocate inside the truth.

Google search: the truth is that I’ll never have a mom. How do I accept this? How do I move on? How do I live without that love?

Google search: the sadness is overtaking me.

One night, my mom was in a good mood & she came into my room to sing me to sleep—she never did this, it was a new thing. I was laying in bed & she was sitting on the carpet next to me, leaning her back against my nightstand when she began to sing.

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,
tomorrow I’ll miss you,
remember I’ll always be true.”

I felt my eyes begin to fill up with tears, though I wasn’t sure why & feelings were never safe so I hid it & pretended I was fine.

“And then while I’m away,
I’ll write home everyday,
and I’ll send all my lovin’
to you.”

I could not control it, I let out a loud sob & said,
“Please don’t leave me mommy! I promise I’ll be good, I’ll do anything!” & my mom grabbed my hand & said, “don’t worry, Baby, I’ll never leave.” & when she left my room that night I laid in bed & cried & cried & didn’t know why.

Google search: why do the good memories hurt more than the bad ones?

Why am I still crying at that song
by the Beatles & the memory of my mom
grabbing my hand & assuring me
she would never leave when
I’m now an adult & can see
all the awful things that my mom did to me?

Google search: how to stop wanting a mommy like the version of my mommy who randomly sang to me.

—  GOOGLE SEARCH: MOMMY, (han hyland)

“resilience ― you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking.”

hi taylor!! it’s sophie, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, because I don’t think you know. I don’t think you could ever know just how important you are to me, but I’ll try to explain.

let’s rewind to 2008 when I first discover you, I hear love story on the radio and immediately fall in love with the girl with the angelic voice. I go home and go on youtube and listen to all your music and fall in love with your words and your kindness. growing up, you were always there for me. I struggle with a severe anxiety disorder that makes life really difficult for me (I’m learning to control it though, and I managed to conquer my fear of crowds to see you on the 1989 tour at hyde park!) and you’ve always been there at my worst moments to help pick me back up again. whenever I was feeling really anxious or had a panic attack, I would put in my headphones and my best friend would be there. in high school I had a really hard time and you were always there through the heartbreaks, the countless nights I lay awake wishing I was ‘normal’ and could cope with things everyone else seemed to find easy, when I struggled with some really toxic friendships that made me feel like I was worth nothing, I would blast mean and hold my head high, because taylor swift had my back and that meant everything.

and here we are now, when I love you more than ever and our interactions on instagram and tumblr have made me feel closer to you than I ever have before, but I also need you more than I ever have before. this year has been incredibly difficult for me. I let somebody back into my life who’s intentions with me were not at all what I thought they were and it really hurt me and I’m still trying to piece myself back together from that. but you gave me the strength to walk away from that situation and reprioritise myself and my mental health and I cannot thank you enough for that. but the hardest part of this year has been losing two of the most important people in the world to me in a very short amount of time. my nan and grandad truly meant everything to me and losing them is the hardest thing I have ever and will ever have to go through. I’m still really struggling. I still have really bad days. but I know that you’re there for me, always. whether it be through your music, watching your interviews on youtube or coming on tumblr and interacting with you, I know you’ll always be there for me. I want you to know that I always have your back, just like I know you always have mine.

I hope I can meet you soon and hug you and tell you all of this in person. I’d love for you to write out my ‘nothing safe is worth the drive’ tattoo too because those lyrics get me through pretty much everything. I’m so proud of you every day, and I know you’re proud of me too. I love you endlessly @taylorswift

No Such Thing

Summary: You and Bucky have been friends for a while now.  How is it that neither of you know what the other does? (Artist!AU)

Word Count: 1482

Warnings:None?

Author’s Note: This is my submission for @whotheeffisbucky AU Writing Challenge!  I picked the artist!AU because I have no self control.  It went in a little bit of a different direction than I had planned, but here it is!

Masterlist

Originally posted by buckingoffthebed

You had met Bucky a year ago, just before graduation.  You guys had one of those really casual friendships where you could hang out and talk for hours, but…you weren’t sure what exactly Bucky’s job was, just that he worked with his best friend.  Now that you were thinking about it, did he know anything about your job beside the fact that your boss’s name is Tony?  

It wasn’t that you didn’t care about what he did for work, but there was so much other stuff to talk about. And to be honest, after a long week, the last thing you wanted to talk about was your job at Stark Art Gallery. It seemed like Bucky was of the same opinion, because he never brought up work either.You thought about all of this as you got ready for another day on the job.  The ringing of your phone brought you back to reality.

“Hello?”

“Hey, doll.” You felt an easy smile grow on your face at the sound of his voice.

“What’s up, Bucky?”

“Want to meet up at the coffee shop when you get off work?”

“Of course!”

“Alright, see you then, doll.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“See ya!”

The call ended, but a text came through almost immediately.  It was from Miss Potts, Tony’s fiancée.  She had been on a small business trip for Tony, visiting a young new artist to be featured in the gallery.  Apparently, he was on board and would be bringing his portfolio for Tony to view – today.

You flew into action, getting the rest of your belongings you would need for the day and hurrying out the door.  You loved your job and Tony was a great boss, but you would need to be on top of everything today if Tony was going to be discussing business with this artist.  To be a Stark Artist was a big deal. And Tony was kind of intense. So not only would you be taking care of the rest of the gallery, but you also had the task of censoring Tony so he didn’t scare the kid away.

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on some level, you really have to admire roberts dedication to all this nonsense. like, literally nothing is phasing him anymore. some casual blackmail? yeah, sure. faking a murder? no big deal. nearly running your ex-wife and mother of your child over so you can look like a hero? standard behaviour. dating lawrence? that’s just how life has to go sometimes when you want home farm for yourself.

What Sheep?

Sam, Dean, Jack

A/N: This contains Season 13 SPOILERS. A little drabble after something Sam said in Episode 13.02. I needed something lighthearted.  Gif is @myheartofmusic‘s thank you!


It’d been a horrible three days- really some of the Winchester’s worst ever. And all Dean wanted was to go home. Jack was slumped in the backseat, his lashes fluttering randomly while he dreamt of who knows what. Sam shook his head at his brother as he gave up arguing about Jack and Mom and everything. He looked down at his tablet as the Impala returned to silence and Dean looked ahead to the road.

Almost two hours later Sam was jarred from his podcast by Dean’s bewildered question. “Where the hell are all these sheep coming from?”

Sam looked ahead to the empty highway. “Uhhh what sheep?”

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Do you ever go through moods where you’re like, “you know what? It’s a Fearless™ (Platinum Edition) album listening type of night and you just spend the next 1 and a half listening to @taylorswift become the biggest artist in the world through that album? Or you’ve just had the toughest day so all you wanna do is go home, curl up in a comfy blanket and got through the masterpiece that is Red™ (Deluxe) for the rest of the night? I’m so curious as to what mood/situation is gonna make me want to sit down and just listen to reputation™ in its entirety?

3

Caroline was in the room processing the receipts from the day.

Caroline: “You’re still here?”

Jacobina: “Yeah… I was actually wondering if there was anything else you needed me to do before I go home..?”

Caroline: “Is the restaurant mopped and hoovered and the cutlery polished? Because if so, that’s you done.”

Jacobina: “That’s all done, but I was thinking more along the lines of helping you in here…”

Caroline: “You want to help me with the End of Day stuff?”

Jacobina: “Can I? My flat is so quiet, I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that, and I figure if I ever want to own my own restaurant I need to be able to do this sort of thing.”

Caroline: “Alright. I’ll show you the ropes. Let’s move through next door though, it’s far too cramped in here.”

Jacobina: “Really? I kind of like it.” 

I’ve just turned 22 and decided to draw some Shinsengeese on such occasion :’D Best way to celebrate one’s birthday, hehe. They don’t want to let me go and feel at home in my mind… I’m really grateful to everyone who follows me, talks to me, discuss different things (stories/tea/geese/etc), likes and comments my drawings :> It’s truly precious and inspiring, guys. I’m also interested in what you follow/started following me for, so tell me if you feel like it :>

I'm sorry

Hey guys

I want to apologize to everyone.

It was such a stupid decision. I promise that I will never teu this again.

And thanks to you all I asked for help. Don’t worry, I am at the hospital and I will be able to go home today.

I am so so sorry.

Thank you all for helping me.

I love you guys

DAYA: I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you for entering. It’s been great meeting all of you, and I wish that I didn’t have to send someone home so early…but the producers have told me that I have to, so here we go. I’m going to call you up one at a time, and tell you whether you’re staying. Oh boy…

2

HANK- “So, I am sitting, what is it you want to talk to me abut, Gina?”

GINA- “Taric and I were talking and I told him about my current situation, and we thought…

TARIC- “Whoa, mother!!…no we, I told you I wanted no part in this. This is all her idea, Hank.”

HANK- “Okay, so everyone here knows something that apparently I don’t so what is it Gina?”

GINA- “I lost my job, and Emmett and I are through.  And he told me to get my shit and get out. So I have no job, and no where to go. My son will be coming home from college in a few days, and I have no where for him to go…”

HANK- “So, you want to move in here?”

I often wonder where you are and how you’re doing. All out there on your own. Do you ever think about me? Do ever think about coming back home? 

I ask because I love you and want to keep you to myself. Yes, I’m selfish please forgive me. But you bring out the best in me. I don’t want to live a life without you in it. That’d be a life worth dreading. I don’t want dread, I’d rather be dead. 

I want to keep you in my pockets. So perfect so beautiful. I can’t let go. Your laughter brings me such joy. I need to hear it to survive in this bullied place. I need to see your flawless face. Looking back at me with your bright blue eyes. Explaining to me why people are mean. How they shouldn’t be. 

I’ve had enough. I’m tough. I choose not to become the bully. I’ll stand up. 

Remembering You (Chapter 2, A Meihem Fanfiction)

A/N: I am literally freaking out because I just want to thank all the people who helped give me feedback on my story. I appreciate you all for even taking the time to read it. Gosh, I’m so happy. Anyway, here is the next chapter. I’ve edited some little bits in the first chapter, so go take some time to re-read that. Link down below. But here we go! On with the story!

https://music4life120397.tumblr.com/post/166526137611/remembering-you-chapter-1-a-meihem-fanfiction

Originally posted by soul-eater-screencaps

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pocrescophobic-angel  asked:

I have all the symptoms of anorexia but I’m not underweight should I still go see a doctor? It’s been going on for about a month now and I’m barely eating

hey, if seeing the doctor is something you want to do and you feel like you’re ready to let go of your ed behaviours, 100% do it! even if you’re not underweight they can still treat an ed (they might call it ednos). however just think carefully about whether it’s 100% what you want to do, you could try at home recovery at first by increasing your intake if you don’t feel ready to involve a doctor/psychologist/your family and friends. but if you think seeing a doctor will get you the help you need , please go do it.

i really hope your recovery is successful, i believe in you and please message me whenever you want to talk about anything (:

Errare humanum est

Originally posted by flavenne

A/N: so no one asked for this but seeing Roman that sad inspired me. sorry i haven’t uploaded another part of home is where the heart is but im back to school and we have tons of stuff to do. 

the part can be continued if you want me to continue it

@iuliaaa21
@buerking38
@daddy-roman
@tootsroots


Lou didn’t even need to look at the TV to tell Roman was more done than he had been at all this season. How could he not? He messed it up, he made a mistake, there was no way to deny it, not at all. But she wouldn’t let him go into the dark only blaming himself for the loss because this wasn’t fair to him. They weren’t playing fine and Roman screwed it up. The whole team screwed up together. If Auba and the whole offence weren’t able to score more than one goal against such a team, no one should be allowed to blame it all on Roman.

She took out her phone and texted him asking when he wants to talk to her. It would take a little more time until he was able to answer so she put the phone down and listened to the conversation Marie, Markus, Max and Gregor were having.

They had decided to watch the game together and because the TV wasn’t working as well as the internet in Max’, Markus’ and Gregor’s apartment, Lou invited them over to well Roman and hers. Truth is, they didn’t think the game would end so bad. BVB tied, nothing bad, if they had played against Real or Tottenham but against APOEL it was bad and all of them being BVB fans it killed the mood for the evening. Most of the time they had been screaming at the TV telling the players to do better but once the game was finished no one’s mood was as bad as Lou’s. They didn’t like BVB loosing but they didn’t have to deal with a self-questioning goalkeeper like Lou did. She was glad they let her stay quiet and left once the last interview was done. She wasn’t in for talking and discussing the mistakes they made. It wouldn’t help her reassure Roman it wasn’t his fault.

“Tell him it’s okay. We all make mistakes as athletes I fall off of my horse and so do you so he is allowed to play a wrong pass. It doesn’t change his value and true fans support him no matter what.” Markus said while hugging her to say goodbye.

They others also said something about her needing to tell Roman it was okay but Markus’ words were more important. He was a sports men as well and by now, after his first international competitions, he could understand the pressure you had to perform under.

“I’m gonna do my best to cheer him up. Love you.” she said before she let go of him.

She went back in and cleaned the living room by putting away the chips and sweets and organizing the pillows on the sofa again. About ten minutes Lou finished and saw Roman had answered her. He wanted to talk later, when they were at the hotel. She didn’t mind that. She was even glad she still had time to go take a shower.

Half an hour later Lou was sitting on the couch again, cuddled up in her pj’s and a fuzzy blanket. Lenny seemed to sense she wasn’t happy as he always did. That’s why he came to cuddle her and laid his  head against her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Lenny. We just gotta take care of Roman, right Cliff?” she asked the the black dog who decided to join them.

He seemed to agree by coming closer and sitting down on Lou’s legs. Lou petted Lenny’s fluffy head with her left hand and did the same with Cliff with her right hand for a few minutes, until she decided to take a picture of their dogs. Her jersey was visible in the background as well, so Lou opened the Instagram app and put it into her story. She tagged Roman on the jersey and wrote “family always supports you no matter what. You’re our hero!” on it before she posted it.

People expected such a thing from her because she was his girlfriend and Lou meant it from the bottom of her heart. It was okay to fail, she knew how well he could do and just failing one time didn’t make you a failure.

Their dogs both had cuddled themselves against her by now so Lou decided to stay on the couch for now. She turned the TV on again, otherwise she might fall asleep and she didn’t even want to risk that.  Some people were cooking on TV, nothing to really catch Lou#s attention but enough to make her stay awake.

It felt like forever and it must have been at least two hours since their friends left until “Sexy back” from Justin Timberlake was playing from her phone. She picked up the call within a few seconds.

“Hey…” she said softly.

“Hey…”

She heard Roman breathe in deeply and then exhale slowly, sighing. After he had done it for a second time Lou realised he didn’t want to say anything.

“It’s okay, Ro-”
“No, it’s not. Don’t tell me, it’s okay, because it isn’t. I know this wasn’t okay, you know it,  my teammates know it, heck everyone knows it.” he replied angrily.

Lou didn’t exactly know what to say right now. She knew he would turn around her words to make it sound bad to him and she hardly knew what to deal with him when he was angry. She hated people yelling in anger.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout at you. It’s not your fault.”

Lou could picture him right in front of her just by the way he talked. His shoulders were hanging low, his eyes empty, his brows furrowed together, his smile gone and he was probably clenching his fist tight.

“I know you don’t want to scream at me.” she breathed in and out, before going on “ Errare humanum est, Roman. To err is human. That’s what I mean when I say it’s okay. I know it’s not okay for you to play like this. I know you can do better and you will. This isn’t your level, this isn’t what you play and how you wanna play. But we are humans, Roman, and humans do wrong. You make a dumb mistake, I fall of a horse. Still this doesn’t make us less valuable. You are a great goalkeeper and we both know this or would you play for such a good club for more than two years if you weren’t?”
“No…”
“See, there are new games to come in which you can proof how well you play.”

They went silent for a few seconds again.

“I guess you are right.” he admitted but he didn’t sound nearly as positive as she would like him to.

She didn’t exactly expect just talking would make him feel fine but it broke her heart to know Roman felt bad.

“Is there a time when I’m not?” she asked jokingly and was glad to hear a small laugh from him.

“Sorry, princess… Can you maybe tell me something to distract me for a while?”

“Uhm, of course. Have I ever told you how my bro had his coming-out? Well it was back when I was twelve or thirteen and I was sitting in the kitchen with mum. I think I was creating a solar system for a school subject and he explained to us his friend was coming over and then said ‘my boyfriend’ and mum just told him if they wanted to join for dinner and he was repeating 'boyfriend’ and mum and I both didn’t care because honestly I asked mum if Robin likes boys when I was five or so…”

One story led to another and Lou talked on and on. Roman wasn’t saying much and she knew his mind was still on the field and thinking about his mistake and the consequences but he was laughing or asking questions from time to time. So you could say what she was doing was at least partly working but she damn well knew she would have to take care of him more the next days and she was fine with it.

“Princess, it’s past three and you need to get up early. As much as I would love to listen to you longer you should still go to sleep.”

She knew there was no way to fight back, mostly because Roman was right. She would already get not nearly enough sleep but if they kept on talking, she could almost stay awake.

“I guess so. Please, don’t beat yourself up too much. I promise I’ll be there tomorrow when you come home and you know I love and support you, forever and always.”
“To the moon and back.” Roman added causing her to smile and she heard him smile at the same time.

“Bye.”
“Bye.”