i want a time machine to chill with them

Bucky’s medicine

(A/N): I loved this request so fucking much, I can only hope I did it justice

Request:Can you do one where the reader is Bucky’s own personal medicine and the only one that can calm him down. And HYDRA used her to keep him in line. And she is small and fragile but when Bucky is taken to the Stark Tower he wants her so the team has to go get her from the HYRDA base. And she doesn’t talk much and gets scared and only trust Bucky and he is protective over her.

Warnings: A bit of angst I guess? swearing, the usual

Tags: @mcuimxgine


Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

   “Bring (Y/N) in,” Pierce muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose as the winter soldier had nearly taken down every guard within the near vicinity of him, all the others were cowering in the corners until he calmed down, which seemed to be fruitless considering he’d been rampaging for a good ten minutes now. 

   (Y/N) was the only thing that could calm the winter soldier down, turning him into a rage machine into a sweet, broken man in under two seconds. Hydra had realized that the winter soldier was going to need an anchor after everything he went through, even after all the brainwashing he was still unstable when mad and Hydra needed a backup plan for situations like this, when the winter soldier was inconsolable or uncontrollable. 

   (Y/N) had been taken from the streets of Brooklyn back in the 40′s, they too being frozen for long periods of time, only coming out when they were needed. They were starved, beaten, and used at Hydra’s pleasure and of course to calm Hydra’s own machine when needed. 

   (Y/N) was small and frail, underfed, and all together weaker than any other person on any Hydra base across the world but they’d been hardwired into the winter soldier’s brain as a comfort, something that would console him even at his most inconsolable times. A time like now, when the soldier was angry and in pain, murdering anyone that came within five feet of his clenched fists. 

   Not even a moment after Pierce’s orders two guards returned, their hands gripping painfully tight around (Y/N)’s already frail and small arms. However, they were so out of it from the Cyrofreeze that Pierce doubted they could even comprehend what was going on, the soldier on the other hand had just enough clarity to perk up at the sight of (Y/N) through the bars surrounding his cage. 

   “Throw ‘em in,” Pierce muttered quietly, turning away from the scene as the two guards did exactly that, throwing (Y/N) into the soldier’s quarters, not even caring when they landed sprawled out on the floor, groaning in pain. Guess they were coming to their senses.

   “(Y/N),” Is all the winter soldier murmured as he dropped to the floor, immediately helping (Y/N) up into a sitting position. He stared at their face earnestly, studying the dark lines under their eyes, the way their skin seemed to be stretched over their bones, giving them a rather skeleton like appearance. 

   “Hey Winter,” (Y/N) was never told the soldier’s real name for the fear that it would jog his memory causing him to panic even more, all (Y/N) was provided with was his code name The Winter soldier and to make it slightly less intimidating (Y/N) had merely shortened it down to Winter, an almost fond form to the fear inducing name. 

   “What did they do to you?” He asks softly, his tone much softer than it’d ever been before. He steals a glance upwards, seeing the way his trainers stared at him, their eyes full of disgust as though he were some animal. 

    “Nothin’ I don’t deserve,” (Y/N) gave him a small smile, albeit laced with exhaustion. The soldier looked back down to (Y/N), studying their very prominent chin and cheekbones. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that (Y/N) was starving, a thought that did break the soldier’s heart. 

   The winter soldier didn’t care for much in this world, he was just a machine, operating as his owners so pleased. He wasn’t allowed to care for anything, it got in the way of his job and that was absolutely against Hydra’s rules but they did allow him one simple pleasure in his god awful life- (Y/N). 

   For as long as he could remember, which wasn’t very long given he had a very terrible memory, (Y/N) had always been there for him, they were there after every mission, taking his beaten and most likely bloodied hands and staring up at him with the utmost fondness in their eyes, on that had diminished even now, even when they were starving to death. They weren’t scared of him, they didn’t want him to be some machine, they were simply there for whenever the soldier needed them and that’s more than he could ever ask for in this awful lifestyle. 

    “You’re hungry,” He states softly, one hand traveling down (Y/N)’s body to rest on their rather bony hips. Last time he’d held them there was most definitely more fat clinging to their body, now there was hardly any fat or muscle there, they were literally skin and bone. 

   “I don’t ask for what I won’t receive,” (Y/N) merely states, shivering against the chill of rather freezing Hydra base. It didn’t help that (Y/N) was severely underweight and their base was underground, only making them that much colder. Without a word the soldier pulls (Y/N) into a hug, keeping their frail and small body against his. He could hear some of the guards murmuring about the affection but he payed them no mind, to busy in trying to warm (Y/N) up. 

   “You get five more minutes (Y/N),” Pierce mutters, obviously very displeased with what was happening between the two but if it helped calm the soldier down then so be it. The soldier only holds (Y/N) closer and he’d be damned if he let anyone of those bastards hurt them again. They were too sweet for this, too kind and too pure to be treated this way. 

    Five minutes passed in a flash, the doors to the soldier’s cage opening as the same guards stepped inside, guns at their sides as they reached out to grab at (Y/N)’s forearms, tearing them away from his warm chest. The soldier wanted to cry out, beg for them to let him keep (Y/N) just awhile longer, but both and (Y/N) knew that any protests would result in both of them receiving a severe beating. So instead the soldier had to watch (Y/N) leave, the guards handling them much too roughly for his liking. And with that his cage was locked again and the guards still alive grabbed him and chained him to his chair, preparing to start the brainwashing process all over again. 


    “There had to be some way Hydra kept him in check,” Tony muttered as he pointed to Bucky who at the moment was looking like a kicked puppy. Somehow on the mission Hydra had interfered, someone stating the trigger words and Bucky was falling into the pit of winter soldier all over again. 

   “Tony it was a one time thing, I’m sure it’s not gonna-” 

   “They did,” Bucky’s voice is hoarse, most likely from the tears and hatred bubbling in his throat. Both men turn to look at him with looks of mild shock upon their face, perhaps mixed with a bit of fear for what he was going to say. “Their name was (Y/N),” 


   Bucky had explained who exactly (Y/N) was, what they meant to him, what they did for him…

   “So they were kinda your own personal medicine?” Steve asks meekly, his tone soft and quiet. Bucky nods, staring down at his metal hand, remembering the way (Y/N) had held it so tenderly, even when the metal plates had been stained with blood. 

   “Why don’t we go get them then?” Tony asks blatantly, “It shouldn’t be too hard to track them down now that Shield’s security it tighter, right?” Bucky shakes his head, sighing shakily as he does. 

   “They were only kept around to keep me in check, with me no longer there I bet they were killed ages ago,” Both Steve and Tony share a look, a sad sympathetic look for their friend. 

   “Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t at least try to find them,” Steve suggests softly, giving Bucky a small albeit hopeful smile. 

   “I can start running logistics now,” Tony smiles, already pulling up some technically little piece of equipment, quickly typing in some search or something like that. 

   “You guys-” Bucky begins, only to have Steve cut him off a moment later. 

   “We’re finding them for you Bucky, whether they’re dead or alive it doesn’t matter to us,” Bucky can’t help the small smile the overtakes his features at Steve’s words, his lips curling upwards in the sweetest way. Now god help them that they really could find (Y/N), and alive too.


   “So the sub levels is where the freezing chambers are?” Steve asks as he straps on his helmet, staring at Bucky earnestly. Bucky nods as he reaches for his preferred gun, shifting it around in his hands before placing it at his side. 

   “Yeah, most likely one of the very last halls, it’s most likely really old, run down, dirty,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield, locking it onto his back. 

   “I promise Buck,” Steve clasps his shoulder gently. “We’re gonna get ‘em back,” Bucky smiles, trying to hide how nervous he really was. He didn’t know if he could stomach the thought of (Y/N) being dead, after all they went through he simply couldn’t stand the thought. 

   “Yeah,” He sighs, nodding, “I hope,” 


    Bucky charged down the halls, completely avoiding the bullets reigning from every Hydra agents gun in the near vicinity, some far place down the hall he could hear some man screaming his words after him but he wasn’t going to let them affect him, not now at least, not when he was so close to where (Y/N) once used to be. He ran faster than his legs could have ever carried him, leading him to smack right into a wall as he turns a corner. 

   There it was, a bold steel door in front of him, just begging to be opened. Without skipping a beat he ripped the door open, his eyes already scanning the room for some Cyrofreeze machine. What his eyes landed on was a tall, cylindrical container, much like his own, with many wires attached to it. Since every other winter soldier was dead there was only a few possibilities here; one, Hydra created another serum to perfect another soldier, it was a trap, or it was (Y/N). Without a second of hesitation Bucky punched the glass of the container, listening to the somewhat satisfying hiss of air that followed. 

   “Oh god,” He muttered as he tore at the glass, only stopping when an all too familiar face was revealed, the air around them having finally dissipated. They were much more sickly looking than the last time he saw them which was saying something considering just how sick (Y/N) had looked the last time he saw them. They had almost no muscle to their face, their entire frame just skin and bone, quite literally now. 

   After gawking at (Y/N) for a bit he reached for their air mask, ripping it from their face rather quickly. Then he got to town on all the other wires and tubes hanging from their body. 

   “Bucky!” Steve called from somewhere down the hall, his tone rather frantic as he did. 

   “Shit,” Bucky muttered, attempting to hurry up his process of ripping things away from (Y/N). 

  “Bucky, come on buddy we gotta get outta-” But Steve’s voice stops at the doorway, his eyes taking in (Y/N)’s form as they slump against Bucky after having finally been relieved of all their wires and tubes. 

   “I know,” Bucky murmured, quickly hoisting them up as though they weighed nothing and in a way they did. They literally weighed nothing in his arms, they were so frail and small that he was scared of breaking them but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone else care for them. “Hydra’s starved them since the day they got here, I’m lucky they survived this long,” Steve nods, only staring for a moment or two before he slips back into his Captain persona. 

   “Bucky Hydra’s all over the place, we gotta get out of here and quick,” Bucky nods, holding (Y/N) to his body in an all too protective manner. 

   “Got it,” 


    Bucky remained by (Y/N)’s side the entire flight back, refusing to even budge when Sam said he needed help stitching up his back. There was no way he was letting (Y/N) wake up to an unfamiliar place, without one familiar face around. 

   “Buck-” Steve sighed as he slumped on the floor of the quinjet, exhausted from the day’s impromptu mission. “You need sleep, I’m sure (Y/N) will be just fine if you’re asleep and-” 

   “No,” Bucky growled, holding (Y/N) to his chest a bit tighter. ‘I’m not going to sleep until they wake up and eat,” 

   “But Bucky-” 

   “Don’t try to argue Steve,” Bucky glares at him, trying to tell his friend to back off in a somewhat nice manner. Steve sighed, shrugging his shoulders lightly. 

   “Fine, I can’t make you do anything, but don’t come crying to me when you’re exhausted from lack of sleep,” Bucky gave Steve one last glare before directing his attention back to (Y/N), whose sickly body was still trying to shake off the Cyrofreeze. Bucky could only hope that the damage done to their body wasn’t permanent…


    Bucky waited hours for (Y/N) to wake up but as dawn was nearing and they haven’t as so much stirred he began to grow concerned. 

  “Fuck,” He all but whimpered as he shifted in his spot once again, his ass nearly numb from sitting so long. “God (Y/N), please wake up,” Beside him Steve and Sam slept soundly, the steady rise and fall of their chests only soothing Bucky’s nerves somewhat. 

   “Winter?” The voice was so broken and so quiet Bucky wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t on such high alert. With wide eyes and parted lips he redirected his attention back to the body settled against him. “Winter is that you?” 

   “Oh my god,” Bucky sighed in relief, burying his nose in (Y/N)’s still freezing hair. “Oh my god (Y/N), you’re alive,” 

   “Where are-” (Y/N) licked their lips slowly, the movement slow and methodical. Bucky couldn’t help but notice just how dry (Y/N)’s lips and tongue were, guess they had been deprived of water too. “Where are we?” 

   “We got out,” Bucky nearly squeaks, his emotions getting the better of him. “I got us out of there (Y/N),” Despite (Y/N)’s very prominent exhaustion they smile, their lips curling upwards slowly and lazily. 

   “We’re free?” 

   “We’re free.” Bucky states, nodding against (Y/N). 

   “Do you- do you have any water?” (Y/N) asks meekly, as though they were scared of asking. Immediately Bucky nods, having prepared for this moment, He reached with one hand to grab the water bottle behind him, quickly popping the top off and guiding it to (Y/N)’s lips. 

   “Tell me when to stop,” Bucky whispered, slowly pouring bits of water into (Y/N)’s mouth. For having been starved and dehydrated for years they were taking the water well, downing at least half a bottle before raising their weak hand to Bucky’s, grasping it to tell him to stop. “I’ve got some food for you too,” He adds, his voice in softer now than it was before. “Think you can eat?” (Y/N) nods their head, some form of noise falling from their lips. 

   Bucky smiles gently as he grabs the protein bar Sam had packed, surely he wouldn’t mind if he shared with (Y/N)? Even if he did care Bucky didn’t and (Y/N) desperately needed food. They ate at least half of that before they stopped, telling Bucky that their stomach hurt and for good reason too. Decades without food had to do something to (Y/N)’s stomach, probably shrink it a good few sizes and Bucky was amazed that (Y/N) was able to eat and drink that much. 

   “Who’s that?” (Y/N)’s voice sounds scared as they point to Steve on the left side of his body. 

   “That’s Steve Rogers, he’s an old friend of mine,” 

   “What about him?” (Y/N) points to Sam on his right, their finger trembling softly. 

   “That’s Sam, he’s a friend too,” 

   “Can I trust them?” 

   “With your life,” Bucky nods, reaching out to hold (Y/N)’s shaking hand. To this day Bucky couldn’t believe the way (Y/N)’s hand felt in his, absolutely perfect, like two pieces of a puzzle. 

   “Thank you winter,” (Y/N) mutters, closing their eyes as their exhaustion overtakes their small body once again. 

   “My name’s Bucky,” Bucky whispers as he presses a kiss to the top of (Y/N)’s hair, allowing his lips to linger there before he pulled them away. “But you can keep calling me Winter,” 

Corridors

caineisbeyonddepressed submitted:

I’ve always HATED corridors. 

I remember it vaguely due to the fact that I just really wanted to forget it, but maybe sharing it will get it off my chest. Just, I really don’t know if it was just me being too imaginative or something was actually going to rip my heart out. Just, never have I in the state of drowsiness have imagined or dreamed something so real. 

Anyways, I was out with my family somewhere in BC, probably Victoria, on a little road trip vacation thing. Anyways we were staying in this lovely hotel. It was nice, free wifi, amazing view of the woods, and the room was simply magnificent. The only thing that unnerved me, was the corridor were terribly slim and our room was deep within it. So it was a horrifically long trip from the elevator to our room. 

On our second night there, I was a bit short on clothes because we were on the trip a little longer than intended. So, my mother had this brilliant idea of doing the laundry! There was a laundry room just on the opposite of the wretched corridor. You know what made it just so much better? It was about 10 PM. With severe reluctance, I agreed. I really didn’t want to wear the same old sweaty clothes twice. So we organized and piled up all the laundry we had and started washing. Unfortunately by the time it was our last batch, it was late and my mother was terribly sleepy. 

“Do the last batch.” She drawled, already slipping into her nice comforting bed beside my father. “Make sure you fold them, and just place them on the table and I’ll put them away in the morning.“ 

Her very words made my heart sink, it was just before midnight and I really didn’t want to. Luckily everything went normally, I stuffed the clothes into the laundry machine, then into the drier. Went back in my room for a bit to chill, and play some Skryim to pass the time. About half an hour later I figured it was done, and all I had to do was get them, get back, fold them, and get my ass into bed. So I did, I got up, trudged towards the laundry room scooped it all up into my arms and made my journey back to our room. Fortunately nothing tried to terrorize me, yet.

After looking through the clothes and folding them I noticed one of the socks were missing its partner. With a heavy heart, I made a mad dash back to the laundry room. Found the sock, exited casually too fatigued to sprint again. Trying to occupy my mind, and distract my mind from the growing anxiety and the seemingly slimming corridor I hummed. It was futile, I could hear a different sort of shuffling between the quick silence in mine. Testing out my theory that my imagination is just fucking with me, I stopped. It was too solid to be an echo. Once I stopped, there was an obvious shuffling behind me. It knew I stopped, and I could hear it whatever the fuck it was so it stopped too. My breath hitched in my throat and the ticking anxiety blowing up in my face because whatever it was behind me flicked the switch. Panic geared my legs into overdrive, my calves kicking into a clumsy start. The shuffling following and accelerating with my speed.

My heart raced, it thrashed itself against my rib cage desperate to escape whatever it was preying on me. Running past the elevator didn’t do me any justice. Once I was right by the device, the metal was suddenly being punished. Like a thousand fists slammed their knuckles against the thing repeatedly. It made me jump, slamming myself against the wall. Luckily my legs continued to kick, and sprint towards my door. It was all a blur from there, all I could hear was the ferocious fists colliding with metal and the shuffling. Luckily I left the door to my room held open by one of the locks. I dove in, slamming the door shut behind me and locking it with every available lock there.

The shuffling stopped in front of my door, I didn’t dare peek at whatever it was outside and rushed off to my bed. Shoving my sister off my side of the bed, and burying myself deep within the white sheets. After a couple moments of suspenseful silence, it began. The loud shuffling behind my door, the continuous knocking and bangs against the door and walls. It tormented me. It refused me sleep, I swear every time my eyelids began to droop the banging and shuffling would grow louder reeling me out of it. It was torturous, agonizing even. The worse part? Nobody else heard.

Fuck Yeah Nightmares Mod James: 8/10 Hooo boy, this was really spooky. You’re a good storyteller.  Thanks for sharing the scares! 

A few small changes to make in 2016.

And a few resolutions just because. Like, sure, whatever, they’re annoying and it seems like people wait a whopping three days to break them only so they can complain about breaking them, but we still make them anyway. I make a few every year, though I have scaled down considerably from the grandiose “I want to lose 30 pounds and have abs!” years of my youth. I did not need to lose 30 pounds when I was 16. If I had a time machine, the first thing I would do would be to go back and tell myself that until I believed it. And then maybe I’d chill at Woodstock or whatever, I don’t know. 

But I digress, because my point is that not only are a lot of New Year’s resolutions unattainable, but you don’t even need to be making them to begin with. So instead, there’s changes we can make. There’s baby steps to walk, and walks that turn into runs. And pretty soon, the new year will be in the rear view just as quickly as this one has been, and see where you wound up? Baby steps aren’t always little after all.

(Unless you’re resolving to quit smoking. Do that right now.)

1. Spend less time worrying about how to make people love you back when they won’t. You can earn your boss’s respect, and you can impress your boss’s boss. But you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re worth loving, least of all someone who you thought was maybe cute and you’d like them to think you’re cute, too. You’re stupid adorable without their approval.

2. Wait 48 hours to buy something you like at the store, and only if you don’t already have 5 of the same exact thing already hanging in your closet. (What’s up, black pencil skirts?) If it was meant to be, it’ll still be there. If you can’t be bothered to make the trip, there’s a reason for that.

3. Always eat a side of vegetables. And while a potato might technically be a vegetable, there is no reason to eat it deep fried every single time.

4. Run further than you ever have before. (Unfortunately for me, this is a marathon distance.)

5. Don’t just text your mom. Call her. Often. Until she picks up and then actually listen to what she has to say about her day.

6. Do the same thing for your friends. It’s shocking how often we get by with emoji and hahahahahahaha and text bubbles. It’s comforting to hear another voice at the end of the line. It’s nice to know that somebody is actually listening to you, that they care.

7. That Pinterest board you jokingly titled “recipes I’ll never actually make”? Yeah, make something from it. I dare you.

8. Don’t feel the need to couch everything in a joke. You can be a kind boss or leader or friend without softening the blow of real talk every single time. There is also a way to provide criticism without being harsh. People will respect you just the same when you find that sweet spot.

9. Show up. Forget about winning every once in a while, but show up. As long as you refuse to settle for the bare minimum, the universe will take care of the rest.

10. Be less chill about stuff. Be the least chill. The opposite of being chill is caring, and God knows everyone needs as much of that as we can get.

[TRANS] BEFF Reports: “[Analysis of INFINITE’s Vocals ①] Sunggyu’s singing is still in progress”

His voice is so different from that of the other main vocal Woohyun, but that difference is what makes INFINITE amazing. (Reporter Kim Joohyun)

Sunggyu’s voice makes you look back. So I listen to his two solo albums every weekend. They show such admirable growth that you can even introduce them as albums of an artist. Sunggyu, who debuted as INFINITE’s main vocal, has evolved into an artist. He sang ever since June of 2010 as INFINITE’s main vocal, but his growth wasn’t stagnant. A song called ‘Because’ from the album <Over the Top> that he sang before publishing a solo album as ‘Kim Sunggyu’ is very nice as well. It showcases his clean vocal style despite the fact that the song is overflowing with emotion. There’s a cool tone to his voice that pops out, but he knows how to control it. This is the reason why his song isn’t heavy, even when it is filled with longing for someone.

The song ‘Light’ is the evolved version of ‘Because’. It doesn’t have a high note that pierces through your heart, but instead of being too heavy, it comforts you instead. After changing my ringtone to ‘Light’, I’ve kept it as my ringtone all this time; this means that his singing voice isn’t something that you get sick of. It may easily split people into those who like it or don’t like it, but once you are under its spell, you can’t break free. His voice sticks to your ears. Every song that he sings sounds like ‘Kim Sunggyu’.

Sunggyu’s voice is the total opposite of that of his team member Woohyun, who is also a main vocal. They are at the opposite ends of the spectrum, but what’s fascinating is that they sound so nice when in harmony. When Sunggyu’s voice shoots out like acid, Woohyun’s voice acts as the buffer. On the other hand, Sunggyu balances out Woohyun’s overflowing sensibility. At the center of a song that rolls forward like a well-oiled machine, Sunggyu and Woohyun are there. The other members build and layer their voices on top of the two’s steady, solid voices. Thanks to that, their live performances are splendid and they are praised everywhere they go. There’s a saying it’s a waste of time to worry about INFINITE’s live performances; at least to me, it is true.

Some people say that Sunggyu has a weak voice; they say that only because they don’t know Sunggyu. I want to recommend them to listen to Sunggyu singing ‘Only Tears’. You get chills when his emotions, which have been building up throughout the song, explode with the high notes. Along with the sad emotions, his voice booms as well. You can see this happen in the stages he did at the end-of-the-year award shows; his voice is definitely not weak.

These are all the reasons why I wanted to hear him perform songs like ‘A Person Like Me’ or ‘Follow Me’; I thought songs like those shows his capacity well. It’s hard to define what Sunggyu’s voice is like. Sometimes, he makes me look back and reflect on myself; sometimes, he makes me cry and laugh. I was only able to nod in agreement when fans described Sunggyu’s voice to be ‘the most expensive musical instrument in Woollim Entertainment.’

From ‘Come Back Again’ until now, Sunggyu’s growth is still ongoing. I support Sunggyu, who is simply stellar when he’s singing.