i want a time machine to chill with them

A few small changes to make in 2016.

And a few resolutions just because. Like, sure, whatever, they’re annoying and it seems like people wait a whopping three days to break them only so they can complain about breaking them, but we still make them anyway. I make a few every year, though I have scaled down considerably from the grandiose “I want to lose 30 pounds and have abs!” years of my youth. I did not need to lose 30 pounds when I was 16. If I had a time machine, the first thing I would do would be to go back and tell myself that until I believed it. And then maybe I’d chill at Woodstock or whatever, I don’t know. 

But I digress, because my point is that not only are a lot of New Year’s resolutions unattainable, but you don’t even need to be making them to begin with. So instead, there’s changes we can make. There’s baby steps to walk, and walks that turn into runs. And pretty soon, the new year will be in the rear view just as quickly as this one has been, and see where you wound up? Baby steps aren’t always little after all.

(Unless you’re resolving to quit smoking. Do that right now.)

1. Spend less time worrying about how to make people love you back when they won’t. You can earn your boss’s respect, and you can impress your boss’s boss. But you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re worth loving, least of all someone who you thought was maybe cute and you’d like them to think you’re cute, too. You’re stupid adorable without their approval.

2. Wait 48 hours to buy something you like at the store, and only if you don’t already have 5 of the same exact thing already hanging in your closet. (What’s up, black pencil skirts?) If it was meant to be, it’ll still be there. If you can’t be bothered to make the trip, there’s a reason for that.

3. Always eat a side of vegetables. And while a potato might technically be a vegetable, there is no reason to eat it deep fried every single time.

4. Run further than you ever have before. (Unfortunately for me, this is a marathon distance.)

5. Don’t just text your mom. Call her. Often. Until she picks up and then actually listen to what she has to say about her day.

6. Do the same thing for your friends. It’s shocking how often we get by with emoji and hahahahahahaha and text bubbles. It’s comforting to hear another voice at the end of the line. It’s nice to know that somebody is actually listening to you, that they care.

7. That Pinterest board you jokingly titled “recipes I’ll never actually make”? Yeah, make something from it. I dare you.

8. Don’t feel the need to couch everything in a joke. You can be a kind boss or leader or friend without softening the blow of real talk every single time. There is also a way to provide criticism without being harsh. People will respect you just the same when you find that sweet spot.

9. Show up. Forget about winning every once in a while, but show up. As long as you refuse to settle for the bare minimum, the universe will take care of the rest.

10. Be less chill about stuff. Be the least chill. The opposite of being chill is caring, and God knows everyone needs as much of that as we can get.