i want a son to teach the ways of the force and how to seduce women


Screw Your Lipstick! 

Summary: Regina drops by one morning to deliver Emma’s lunch and Emma jokingly gives her a citation for being way too sexy.  Little does the Mayor know that the Sheriff intends to make her pay the ticket’s fine, one way or another.

A Few Inches Mean Everything (Or Nothing At All)      

Summary: Emma Swan had just discovered a hidden treasure at her girlfriend’s closet.

Let’s Have Another One      

Summary: While helping Regina look for a cure for Marian, a non-related ridiculous idea pops into Emma’s head.

Thank You for Raising Henry

Summary: Emma thanks Regina for raising Henry.

Happy Ending

Summary: Emma helps Regina find her happy ending.

i’ve never missed a stranger before (I think it’s nice)

Summary: Emma gets invited to movie night at the Mills mansion.

of school fairs and secret stares      

Summary: “And you’re sure people will pay money to do this?”
Henry nodded, dropping the last apple into the barrel of water. “Trust me.”


Summary: Regina understands the importance of tokens and sets out to help a heartbroken Emma.

Conference Call      

Summary: Emma puts a whole new spin on the idea of a “conference call”.

Distraction, Reaction

Summary: Regina drives Emma to the point of distraction during a tedious meeting, and in the process, reveals an interesting fetish.

The Actress Hasn’t Learned the Lines (You’d Like to Hear)

Summary: At least, that’s how Regina feels.  The Charmings take a nice, relaxing family vacation, although things don’t start out quite so smoothly.   Warning: fluff so sweet it’ll give you cavities.


It looked like a closet, but it wasn’t      

Summary: ‘It had been only half an hour until regular closing time, so Emma had considered half an hour with limited space - and Regina - the better option. Come on, how hard could it be? Emma was glad, that Regina was not able to see the miserable expression, that settled on her features as she realized her fatal mistake.’

Each Happy Ending’s A Brand New Beginning      

Summary: The little girl grinned as she looked up at her parents. “Daddy, is that story true?” “It absolutely is,” came another voice from the hallway.

This Could Be Paradise

Summary: Regina and Emma feel their baby kick for the first time. The sugariest, sweetest bit of fluff you will ever read (but okay, there is a tiny bit of angst in here, too). Warning: mild language.


Summary: Regina finds Emma injured after she attempts to go horse riding for the first time, alone.  

of ice packs and celebrations 

Summary: Regina’s not happy at all that Emma’s been sneaking her son off to play basketball - but Emma has a plan to get Henry to play in the game on Saturday, and it ends up working out quite well for everyone.

what good people do

Summary: “It’s like the fire all over again, but with their roles reversed. Regina remembers Emma’s words after they’d escaped the blaze - 'next time I’ll do the same thing, and the time after that, because that is what decent human beings do, that’s what good people do’ - and wonders if she’s being a good person right now.”

The Sun Must Set to Rise

Summary: “I don’t know what mothers are supposed to do with their daughters. Emma, I don’t want to be her.” Regina is freaking out, but Emma can bring her back down to earth.


Summary: cute right?

98 and ¾ Percent Guaranteed      

Summary: It’s been true though. I have been in Lurches and Slumps and I managed to find my way out. But now I’m stuck in The Waiting Place. And I’m just tired. I’m tired of waiting, Mary Margaret. So I need to do what the book says and head straight out of town. I need the wide open air.


Summary: Emma taked Regina and Henry to a local pond and teaches them both how to ice skate.

That’s What We Should Choose

Summary: They didn’t kiss. And there is a reason Emma is going to explain.

I Want You To Want Me

Summary: Pointless Swan Queen fluff.

Plain as Anyone Can See

Summary: [Emma is left temporarily blinded after a car accident with MM, and spends a week with Regina and Henry.]

A Little Bit More

Summmary: “Remind me again why I have to be the Grinch?” Regina huffed. Emma laughed softly. “Because I’m singing and Henry’s reading the rest of the story. And because you can’t resist that smile on your daughter’s face.”  

Seek And You Shall Find

Summary: “Regina Mills and Emma Swan were seekers on opposite sides of the Hogwarts’s quidditch teams.” Harry Potter Crossover AU


Summary: Emma gets into some trouble while out with Henry. Regina is not impressed.


Summary: “I assure you, I can stay warm without looking like a villain from the Ghostbusters,” Regina snorts, pulling her gloves on—leather, of course. Emma would even bet that they weren’t even the warm leather gloves. Regina would wear simple driving gloves to take a child sledding.

I’ll Never Have A Family Again (Or Will I?) 

Summary: Regina is left alone in the basement of Gold’s Pawnshop, until a unlikely person comes to see her.

Operation: Tree House Is a Go

Summary: “In the end, the tree house had been a really good decision for all parties involved."post curse-breaking

Of Pleasant Surprises

Summary: Emma lands on Regina after she comes through the portal.

 Through a Rose-Coloured Camera Lens

Summary: Henry has to make a video presentation to his class about his family, which forces Regina and Emma to interact. Undoubtedly, cute bickering and fluffy moments make their way onto film. The resulting presentation might just cause Regina and Emma to finally realise their true feelings and begin to appreciate their quaint little family.

Stolen Property

Summary: Emma comes home and Regina (missing her), is wearing her clothes.

The Notebook 

Summary: Not having someone – not even the memory of them? That was the worst pain imaginable.

What Makes You Beautiful

Summary: If only you saw what I can see.


Summary: Emma uses her favorite movie-time treat to her advantage.

Peaceful, Easy Feeling

Summary: Emma comes to the mansion to find Regina asleep over a book from the other world.


Summary: Regina finds Emma wearing glasses sexy and seduces her.

all the world’s a stage

Summary: Emma takes Regina’s hand, trying to convey all the strength she can through a squeeze. Regina’s eyes dart up to hers.“Take a bow,” Emma mouths, grinning bashfully.

Camping Trip

Summary: What if Henry wants to go camping? Regina is not fond of the idea but takes all she gets. Emma is coming along, but Henry wants his own tent, so the mayor and the sheriff must share.

Price of Magic      

Summary: Maleficent helps bring Emma and Regina together

A Fine Line

Summary: Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

Four Benches and a Bed

Summary: Bench No. 1 is at the docks. There have been other benches before; Storybrooke is littered with them after all. They are in parks and hospitals, in gardens and diners, and by the roads. There are lots of them. But Bench No. 1 (yes, capitalized) is at the docks.

Clean Break      

Summary: When 18 year old Emma Swan gets out of juvie she sets out to find the baby she gave up for adoption and make sure he’s ok. She takes a job as a maid in the Mayor’s house to get close to her son but she isn’t expecting to fall in love with him … or his life.

Roughin’ It 

Summary: Regina, Emma and Henry go camping, and Regina is not liking it one bit 

Find Me

Regina, Emma and Henry are playing hide and seek. Somehow, Emma always finds Regina first.

Growing Up: Tooth Fairy      

Summary: Growing Up Series: Henry loses his first tooth. Dash of Swan Queen within


Summary: Emma saves Regina in a political manner. Months after the curse breaks, an election occurs between Snow and Regina for the mayoral position.

Vanquished Sleep

Summary: What if, when she was preparing the Sleeping Curse for David, so that he’d be able to talk to Snow, Regina dropped the potion vial? And what if, when she picked it up, she pricked her finger?

Perfect Gift

Summary: It’s Regina and Emma’s first Valentine’s Day as a couple, and Emma has absolutely no idea what to get Regina


Summary: Magic baby fic - Emma and Regina are expecting the birth of their first child


Summary: Angsty fluff inspired by a few lines from FUN.- We Are Young"My lover, she is waiting for me, just across the bar. My seats been taken by some sunglasses, asking 'bout a scar.”


Summary: Emma comes to town and Regina is okay with it. Until Emma starts hitting on Regina and Regina doesn’t quite know what to do.


Summary: When she discovered lasagna, it felt like a stroke of luck and genius. It was simple enough she was hard put to screw it up and there was so much that could be done with it; Make it with meat, make it without, make it with different types of cheeses, add different spices. It became a game to see how many different combinations she could make and if Henry ever noticed how limited their diet was he was kind enough not to say.

It Was Amazing Not Kissing You

Summary: When the absence of a kiss is the perfect premise to understand Emma’s feelings towards Regina Mills.

Some Hope After All      

Summary: Emma successfully saves Regina from the wraith attack and doesn’t get sucked into the portal. How will the two women come to terms with their magical connection?

Elmo’s ABCs

Summary: It had been three long weeks since there had been a body between her sheets, let alone between her legs.

Just a Red, Leather Jacket

Summary: Three times Regina Mills had to deal with Emma Swan’s red leather jacket.

Just Say No

Summary: There’s something Regina Mills loves doing: saying no. Especially when it’s Emma Swan asking questions.

 Birthday Wishes Do Come True

Summary: Regina is baffled when Emma Swan of all people offers to celebrate her birthday with her.

Rest and Relaxation 

Summary: Regina’s never been outside of Storybrooke before, and when Emma discovers the brunette’s inner desire to see the world, she helps make it come true

Just Another Day

Summary: Just another friendly quidditch match between opposite seekers, Emma Swan and Regina Mills. Swan Queen/HP Crossover AU.

Polygraph Calibration for Beginners

Summary: When Regina is framed for Archie’s murder, she realizes that Sheriff Swan needs to get her lie-detecting abilities checked. Regina calls a friend from the world of endless wonder for help.

Seven Goodnights

Summary: It’s all fun and games in the Swan-Mills family, until an argument breaks out.

We’re Not Lost Anymore

Summary: Morning is the best part of the day, especially for a new family.

After All This Time

Summary: After thirty years of marriage, Emma forgets their anniversary for the first time

Morning Glory

Summary: Emma is not a morning person, so Regina discovers the many ways to get Emma out of bed

Dear Emma

Summary: Every 5 years since she was 13, Emma writes a letter to her future self letting her know what she’s been through and offering up words of encouragement to keep her on the right track. Over 25 years, Emma’s life changes drastically for the better.

Happy Birthday, Savior 

Summary: Emma’s birthday. A candle. A desire.
And also something new.

A Thousand Years

Summary: Regina reflects on her and Emma’s relationship as she walks down the aisle

Meeting the Future In-Laws (Or Our Crazy, Mixed Up Family Life)

Summary: Meeting the future in-laws for the first time is never easy. Especially if they are Snow White and Prince Charming… and you’re Regina.

Love Her Like She’s Leaving

Summary: You fight against your feelings for the longest time, harder than you fought many battles in your lifetime. You refuse to accept that she makes you weak in the knees, makes your heart melt when she gives you her most sheepish grin, makes you forget who you are, whose daughter she is.
Swan Queen, inspired by Brad Paisley’s song of the same name

Seduce Me Diana Ezaeur character study

Just replayed Seduce Me recently, and I wanted to express some of my thoughts on Diana. In the second half of the game the succubus is presented as the villain of the arc if Mika chooses one of the boys as her love interest, but very much of the story is presented that way simply because it is Mika’s point of view and not Diana’s. Now, I adore the boys of Seduce Me, but I think it’s interesting that their actions can be seen in a completely different light if you shift focus for just a bit.

What we see of Diana in any of these five routes is very limited. What you know of her is based solely on what the boys tell you of her and her own actions toward Mika, which to be fair are very antagonistic right from the get go. It’s very easy to see her as the next big bad followed right after Malix but in reality it’s a much more complicated story.

Take into account this. Diana, or Ezaeur, was only a child when the marriage was arranged to Raestrao. She’s not even his age, actually only as old as Damien. In the flashback when it’s decided she’ll marry Raestrao who himself is very young, she can’t be very old. The Demon Lord is cruel, conquering territory after territory as he sees fit. The fact the parents of Diana even offered to negotiate with him seems to insult him and there’s a very heavy implication this is not something he ever bothers with often and considers just taking the land violently to teach them a lesson.

Ezaeur probably knows fully well the violence the Demon Lord is capable of, even when she’s young. This is a man infamous for his wars, how he takes multiple women for his wives and grants them no power, and even enjoys in raping others. He’s a nightmare in every sense of the word, but she’s offered up to him to join his family by marrying his oldest son. Lives are going to be saved if she makes this sacrifice, and her lands will become part of this empire and thrive instead of just being yet another place that gets crushed by it.

James is raised well, but in very cruel conditions. In his personal flashback you can see he has doubts about his place in the world. He doesn’t want his birthright, doesn’t like the direction his life is going, and seems genuinely fearful of the possibility Erik mentions to him that he’ll probably end up just like their father, a war monger and a tyrant if he doesn’t put a stop to it. He’s raised every day of his life to learn tactics, how to fight, how to kill, and probably other nameless horrid things his father believes will bring him strength. Mika notices it looks like it’s been days since he’s even slept and it’s implied heavily this is the norm for him.

It’s easy to imagine the same can be said for Ezaeur. Also a child of royalty, her place has been decided for her since she was a child. She’s going to be a bride and her father-in-law is certainly going to have expectations. The second it was decided she probably had to buckle down just as hard. She has to be perfect. The perfect beauty, the perfect amount of power and intelligence, able to compliment Raestrao well without being too much of a threat. Like James, every day of her life probably went into grooming her for this role.

But here’s the difference. James has to be perfect to please his father. Diana has to be perfect to keep her people alive. The amount of stress she has on her probably was horrid, especially knowing her rights probably weren’t going to be that good. There is no indication to her Raestrao is any different from his father. She’s probably never even met him, only knowing stories. His father who turned all his brides into spirits just for bickering. She knows she’s facing a future where there will probably be other women down the line, that she’ll have little to no actual say in what is going to happen about anything. Her title would be queen, but for all the good it did the queens before her, it might as well be harem girl.

Then one day, Raestro can no longer be found. He’s just gone along with all his brothers. All of a sudden everything Diana has worked for is up in smoke. She has no more hold on the throne or keeping anyone she knows alive, that is unless she can bring the boys back. Her only hope is finding Raestrao and pulling him back to the Abyssal Plains, or if she has to, one of his brothers as a replacement. It’s no wonder she’s so desperate, that she’s willing to do anything it takes to accomplish this.

And when she finds James, it’s almost heartbreaking really. James doesn’t want to go back. For once, he’s not pressured or being forced into a role. In the human world he can be whoever he wants, however he wants. He has his brothers, a nice home, and he has no intention of letting Diana ruin that for him. In the route where Mika picks James, Diana doesn’t flounce around the possibility of a throne and power like she does for the other boys. She’s pleading. She wants James to acknowledge her and his birthright, and what this means to her. He has to come back, and she’s trying to ease him into the idea using sweet words and the fact that she was promised to him, that she belongs to him and him to her, the tone she uses almost romantic despite the fact she probably has no feelings for him at all.

And James, as much as I like him, much as he’s a sweetie… is kind of an asshole here. Literally, like kind of a dick. He tells Diana she doesn’t have the capability to love, that he doesn’t want the throne especially if she comes with it. Really, it’s kind of harsh. Now, to be fair Diana has hardly been a sweet angel to his brothers or Mika but this is just kind of cruel. This woman who worked her entire life to be promised to him basically just get shut down for a 17 year old human girl who doesn’t understand the situation, and even if she does then doesn’t care. To James and Mika, this is just some power hungry hussy who wants to be a queen. There are no faces attached to their decision, no consequences. James even asks, “Am I not allowed to be selfish for once in my lifetime?” thinking about his own misery and imprisonment of being the favored son and heir.

To Diana though, no. He’s not allowed to be selfish, because she’s not. His actions will condemn her people, just like it would be if she were to refuse him. The problem? He says no, he walks away with no consequences besides banishment. Diana walks away with a destroyed home on her shoulders. Eventually though, she knows there’s no convincing him. He’s not willing to come, and dragging him back, as much as she’d love to just isn’t an option.

It gets even more cruel when Mika and James finally learn what their love cost Diana. It’s horrifying in all senses of the word. The Demon Lord is cruel to the extent of madness, killing her family to the point of even… uh, spoilers and trigger warnings here. This gets graphic.

Her mother is literally torn open, her unborn child, Diana’s own sister, taken out of her and nailed to a wall, and this is even before the rebellion is even started. Diana comes home after failing to collect the boys to this and there’s nothing she can do about it. They’re already dead and gone. When Mika is told the story of the little mermaid by Diana, she makes it clear her opinion. It doesn’t matter if the rest of the world burns as long as the mermaid and prince are happy. It’s a fairytale for a teenager who’s never experienced war or this kind of horror, who doesn’t live in a world where battles, blood and rape are the horrible norm. She’s lived a nice life and her pressures of having to inherit a company and a life of stress but infinite comfort don’t even compare. It’s probably laughably cruel to Diana the fate of her family and home was basically decided by two blissful ignorant and spoiled people who don’t know or even care about Diana’s plight. One can only imagine the kind of thoughts and feelings welling up inside of the succubus at the moment, probably along the lines of, “If he’d only listened. If he’d only come back with me.”

To be fair, by the time James learns of this, he does seem genuinely remorseful. Diana however, doesn’t care. To her, this happened years ago. There’s nothing to be done for it now. It would be easy to hate James, easy to blame him, but nothing at all would come from it. Even crying and standing in front of James and Mika as they look at her in horror, she’s just done and she wants them gone and out of her life and world. Even if James went, “My god, you’re right. Because of my decision, your whole family was murdered. I’ll go home right now and convince him to stop,” it would be far, far too late. What she’s lost can never be replaced. The years she’s worked for her family’s lives were wasted, and now all she has is the war, revenge, and the hope that this time her preparations will pay off. James is behind her, she’s done with him and what he did to her, and she cares little for how he sees her now or how he feels on the matter.

“It doesn’t matter what happens to the princess.” “It [the story of the mermaid, prince and princess] was one thing to be a fictional story; it was another to ruin someone’s life for selfishness.”

Well Mika, it did matter to the princess. It mattered to her more than you could have ever fathomed, and you didn’t even realize until you heard about what happened to her family that she was thinking the exact same thing about you.

Just goes to show a villain is often just a hero who’s story has not been told yet.

Big thanks to  @thebunnyofevil for giving us this wonderfully diverse and frankly tragic character. I adore her to bits, and I hope that after reading this that you do too. If you haven’t played Seduce Me and you’re interested, the first game is free to play, and the sequel is very cheap too.

Maid To Serve

TITLE: Maid to Serve


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine that you have been sold to a slave trader to pay a debt. One day you are bought and given to Loki as a gift. He ignores you at first, but he slowly begins to notice your attention to small details in your daily tasks and your funny little quirks. He tries everything he can to seduce you, and the more you resist the more intrigued he is.

RATING: Teen and Up

All too quickly, a week went by, then another, and before long, a whole month had passed. In that time, your interactions with Loki were somewhat infrequent, usually as a result of you asking where a particular thing should go and him responding, or praising you for your work.

In that time, you had only seen Anna once and Mya not at all. Adelaide continued to keep a close eye on you, taking a motherly approach to her interactions with you, and helping you to settle in to your position as a result. Rebekkah had decided to outright pretend as though you did not even exist. You had met a substantial proportion of the other chamber staff in that time also, many of whom were very polite, but in general, they were not too bothered by you, most of them were far older than you and were more interested in their work. The one thing you had noted in passing conversations was that the older ones did seem to have families of their own and you had seen with your own eyes that one of the Allmother’s maids was actually pregnant; the other notable thing was that most everyone seemed happy in their employment. The one being you had become very good friends with was Wilhelm. You worked well together and he was all too willing to assist you if you required it.

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