i wanna take my picture with you

anonymous asked:

Sorry if I sound really stupid...but how do you take pictures of your drawings without any shadows??

ummmm i basically angle it such that i my phone shadow is not on the particular part of the picture i wanna crop!!!! i mean i get shadows but it usually doesn’t show up in the final

*A group of teenagers walking up to Steve after school*

Random guy: Hey Steve you wanna come hang out with us? We got beers.

Steve *about to get into his minivan*: Well gee fellas I️ would but I️ gotta go pick up my boys from AV club, and then I promised Max that I️ would take her to the skate park. She’s been working on this new trick oh I’m so proud of her. Then I’ve gotta take little Jane and get her a new pair of shoes before the mall closes. Oh then I’ve gotta make dinner and let me tell you getting those little rascals to eat there vegetables is a battle itself especially my Dustin he’s always wanting to get straight to the chocolate pudding. Oh but I️ wouldn’t trade em for anything they’re just getting so big. Ya wanna see a picture *takes out is wallet and 20 pictures of the kids roll out* ope that’s us at the skating rink last month look at Lucas he’s gettin so tall, and there’s Will on his birthday-

anyway for those migrating from hiveswap to read homestuck, heres a warning i haven’t seen much:

homestuck has a lot of pages that require an epilepsy warning. there’s characters who revolve around needing to giving epilepsy warnings at points. a lot of panels and flashes use rapidly flashing lights or gifs.

if you wanna read it, i’d advise to take precaution when:

  • the next page is an [s] page
  • if the characters becquerel, doc scratch, bec noir, or lord english are mentioned or pictured (edit: i felt like i should clarify the first three are here if only because the first guardian powers involve really bright colors and quickly flashing images)
  • the next page has an [o] instead of a ==>
  • for the first few acts theres minor characters that rapidly flash like strobe lights

these are all that come to my head for now, if anyone here can add more it would be great

my experience seeing bmc

-JAKES SHOELACES ARE ORANGE THEYRE SO OBNOXIOUS

-the scene where chloe and brooke r talking to christine brooke says like “jake sucks!!” or something and chloe whips around and shrieks “NO HE DOESNT” and honestly? mood

-the guy playing michael is totally playing him as Jealous Gay Best Friend or at least. he was SO DONE with jeremy’s pining over christine bullshit BUT HE WAS DEF HAPPY WHEN THEY DID GET TOGETHER

-JAKE CALLED EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITES EXTRA CIRCULAR ACTIVITY i was weak

-when jeremy went “optic nerve blocking: on” one of the people behind me went “oh my god.”

-WHENEVER MR REYES WENT “our funds will go to the frisbee golf organization!” ONE OF THE EXTRAS WENT “YES!!” the extras are so funny i would straight up die for them

-as jeremy was purchasing the squip and the stockpeople were showing it to him michael stretched his camera over jeremy’s head to take a picture inside the box fjsksks it was so funny

-THE GIRLS ARE SO FUNNY

-CHRISTINE IS HILARIOUS

-also christine’s outfit is so cute she’s wearing those leggings that are like cat leggings

-BROOKE IS PRECIOUS AND ALSO HILARIOUS

-do you wanna ride was SO FUNNY

-THE SQUIP IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED

-he Hits Some Notes

-ALSO during be more chill pt. two jeremy was SO EXCITED TO BECOME POPULAR

-MICHAEL DABBED DURING “COOL IN COLLEGE” google search how to unstan michael mell

-OK SO DURING THE PART WHERE ALL OF THE POPULAR KIDS RUN INTO PLAY REHEARSAL RICH WALKED IN AND HUMPED THE BACK OF JEREMYS CHAIR FJSJDJSJSIDJSJS

-the squip song was SO FUNNY

-ALSO DURING UPGRADE CHRISTIME AND JAKE MADE! OUT! THEY STRAIGHT UP MADE OUT SON

-also during be more chill pt 2 jake and one of the extras picked up jeremy and put him on their shoulders and when they set him down on his bed the bed went “KRRRRK” and the squip went “BE CAREFUL WITH HIM”

intermission

-HALLOWEEN WAS AWESOME

-the chemistry between christine and jeremy is so dorky and cute fjdisidiidisksks

-JAKE AND JEREMY HAD A DANCE BATTLE I WAS LOSIN IT

-also whenever jake réaliséd jeremy and chloe were Bangin’ he straight up PUNCHED OUT THE WINDOW TO HIS PARENTS BEDROOM

-OH ALSO at the end of ‘HALLOWEEN’ it didn’t end like it does with the music trailing off but rich went off stage going in a very broken, robotic voice, “halloween. halloween. halloween.” i was fjskskskkdskkskd. u can very clearly see how heavily he’s relying on his squip by this point to the point where he can’t even function normally without it IDK it was moving to me

-ALSO!!!!!! jake dillinger can’t emotionally deal with anything he does Not Know how girls work. i really believe he and christine would’ve worked out if he was just a little more not deaf to the emotions of those around him

-PITIFUL CHILDREN IS SO LIT

-the steady increase and change of the squips appearance from normal to Evil Villain is SO COOL

-GOD i love the squip

-also i cried during michael in the bathroom but if anyone asks What No I Didn’t

-CHRISTINE COMES OUT RIGHT BEFORE THE PLAY AND THE CURTAINS ARE SHUT AND ITS JUST LIKE AN AVERAGE HIGH SCHOOL PLAY IDK ITS REALLY ENDEARING AND CUTE

-also i am 1048289392% convinced christine canigulas entire wardrobe comes from justice

-MR REYES WEARING JEREMYS PLAY COSTUME HAD ME WEAK

-y’all. JEREMYS DAD WAS SO FUNNY

-THE PANTS SONG IS SUCH A BOP!!! A STRAIGHT UP BANGER

-everyone 30+ was LOSING THEIR SHIT at the pants song they all thought it was the funniest shit

-ALSO AT MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE THE GUY PLAYING MICHAEL RAN PAST ME (i was sitting by the aisle) AND HIS FEET WENT DUNK DUNK DUNK DUNK DUNK RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND LIKE SHOOK THE GROUND AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A STAMPEDE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING IT WAS TERRIFYING

-he sure did make an entrance. hoo boy did he EVER

-in the finale chloe and brooke had switched shirts and uh. they fuckin

-whenever the squip said “everything about you is so terrible” he did this weird. hitting the floor seductress thing?? it was so weird

-also michael thrusted on the broke squip as it stumbled past him during the finale

-DURING THE PART WHERE THEY ALL SCREAM AND COLLAPSE AS THE SQUIP LEAVES MICHAEL JUST STOOD OVER ALL THE BODIES, STAREDFOR A SECOND AND WENT “FUCK”

-also in the middle of the smartphone hour brooke dropped her phone and shrieked

Because we are all emotional right now I felt like it would be a good time to spread some positive vibes when it comes to our beloved Choi Seunghyun. I don’t know how you guys feel about this, but it makes me even sadder when I want to go online and all the news about him are related to the scandel. Which is why I decided to do a little T.O.P. masterpost - starting with pre debute pictures of him being the cutie we all love!

Baby Seunghyun will always be one of the sweetest things on this planet

followed by the time when he started to lose weight and was known as “Tempo” plus his selfie game was 10/10 back then already

I mean look at this smug grin

and I don’t know how you guys feel like, but I have a special place in my hear for this haircut - especially the second picture with the baseball cap! Most people will probably say it was terrible, but I think it suited him 

pulling faces while eating or even talking on the phone to the camera - my aesthetic for sure 

Also, can we talk about this shot? I feel like this is the typical “come on, bro, I need a new profile pic for cyworld - and I wanna look really cool!” - “dude, how about we stick a patch on your cheek an- perfect! Now look at me like you looked at Seungri when he ate your favourite candy!”

oh and speaking of cyworld - last but not least: some of my most favourite pics! (feat. the baby dragon bc those two were the masters of taking stupid selfies)

It’s not much, but I hope you guys at least had to smile a bit. It always warms my heart when I see these pictures. The next masterpost will follow for sure! 

Feel free to add more pictures of him

SEND ONE IF WE HAVEN'T INTERACTED

Friendly:

“Hi, I’m new here, can you show me around?”
“Uh.. I think I’m lost.”
“Wow, those are some awesome threads!”
“Don’t mind me, I just like making new friends!”
“Oh dear, do you need help?”
“You look like you could use a hand.”
“You look a little lost, can I be of assistance?”

Rude:

“Watch where you’re going.”
“Oops, did I do that?.. Oh well.”
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Get lost, would ya?”
“I don’t have time to play tour guide.”
“Thankfully, it’s not my job to help you.”

Dramatic:

“Wait! Stop!”
“Don’t let them find us.”
“I don’t wanna be left alone.”
“Get out of the way!”
“Are you dead?”
“Hurry! Run!”

Flirty:

“Can I skip dinner and go right for dessert?”
“I think I just found the most beautiful girl in Japan.”
“Hey there, Foxy Mama.”
“Huh? Oh yeah, this view is nice.”
“How about we go back to my place? I’ve got board games.”
“All you have to do is say, "yes”.

Romantic:

“Wow, your eyes are the most beautiful, that I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ve been enchanted by your amazing voice.”
“Ah, I’m sorry, I could have sworn you were an angel.”
“Am I dreaming, or do you really exist?”
“I wasn’t aware that Goddesses/Gods existed.”
“No flower or scenery can compare to your beauty.”

Enemy:

“At long last! I’ve finally found you! Now I can kill you!”
“What an ugly mug, it’s a good thing I won’t have to see you for long.”
“How would you like to be full of holes?”
“You know, I think your head looks better detached from your body. ”
“I will make you experience unimaginable pain.”
“Beg all you want, but your fate is going to end the same way.”

Unemotional:

“Love is illogical, it means nothing to me.”
“The more you cry, the more reasons I find to leave your pathetic being.”
“Do not touch me, I don’t require affection from anyone.”
“Why are you hugging me?”
“He’s dead, let’s move on.”
“Why is family so important to you?”.

great hoco moments:

- i like bread
-guy in the chair!!!
-the glowy thing iS A BOMB!!!1!!!
-i sound like my dad
-”my dad never really gave me a lot of support and im just trying to break the cycle of shame“
-the interrogation mode voice
- i’M NOT A GIRL!!! I’M A BOY–i mean I’M A MAN!!!
-you know i larb you
-just a typical homecoming…….on the outside of an invisible jet…….fighting my girlfriend’s DAD
-murph the cat
-peter speaking spanish
-i was…….watching….porn
-this is your chance, peter. KISS HER
-INSTANT KILL
-“i’m shocked”
-the way michelle says hi to peter by giving him the finger
-none of this would’ve happened if you had just LISTENED TO ME :/
-a film by peter parker
-peter getting ready for homecoming
-peter’s face when they were taking pictures before homecoming
-37 minutes
-MY FRIENDS CALL ME MJ
-flash slapping peter’s ass
-”i just wanna thank you for letting me be a part of your journey”
-hot date with black widow
-cmon peter………CMON SPIDER MAN!!!!! :/
-”suit lady”
-peter jumping rope with his webs
-”been carrying this since 2008″
-the “monument built by slaves” moment
-couldn’t bear to lose a student on a school trip. Not again.
-i just like coming here to sketch people in crisis
-WHAT THE F—HEY HO, LET’S GO
-patience
-assistant to mr. holland harrison osterfield

content (g.d.)

~HEY Y’ALL it’s ya girl back at it again with some more Grayson fluff. This one is kinda inspired by Ethan’s tweet about sleepy and delirious Gray. I’m hoping to write more often, it just takes a lil more for me to get inspired. OH and thank you guys so, SO much for all the positive feedback on my first Gray imagine, “take me there”. I’m so proud of it and I’m so happy you guys seem to enjoy it as well. :)

**No warnings (unless you wanna count Ethan’s dirty joke in the beginning)**

He was up pretty late last night, probably beating it to a picture of you or something, I dunno,” Ethan teased after letting you inside the apartment.

“Good lord, E,” you groaned with a scrunched face. You followed him past the kitchen and into the living room.

“I’m kidding loser,” he chuckled, plopping down on the couch and pressing play on the game he had paused to answer the door. “He was just up editing his part of the video for a long ass time last night. Although he probably did do the other thing. Wouldn’t put it past him.”

“Ethan!” You scolded, soliciting a laugh from your boyfriend’s brother.

“Just being truthful, cupcake,” he shrugged, not taking his eyes off his game. You scoffed and jokingly shoved his head as you walked past him (ignoring his whines that you made him mess up his game or whatever) and made your way to Grayson’s room, quietly opening and closing the door behind you. You leaned against the door and sighed in sympathy and love as you laid eyes on his sleeping figure.

Keep reading

NCT irl at Kcon2017

Oooohhhh fuck can I just start off with they’re all really fucking attractive and pictures don’t do them justice? Like seriously pictures cannot contain how perfect they are.

Taeil: He’s super cute like really cute. His body is even cute. He’s like right in the middle not super tall but not short. When u look at his face u just wanna smile. Really smooth skin like u wanna rub it, it’s like after u shave ur legs. Has big puppy dog eyes like u finna get lost in them shits sis. His hair is very nice and looks healthy, his hair kinda looks weird sometimes in photos but it really suits him irl!!! Some girl got chosen for Doyoung and Taeil to sing a song to her and Taeil sang a Bruno mars song I’m sorry I really can’t remember what it’s called but you guys know that one Bruno mars love song. His English was PRECIOUS he has a very sweet sing song voice. Everyone melted when he sang the Bruno Mars song like GODDDD boy really can sing well!! He’s a super cute puppy flower boy, he gives off pretty boy vibes 🌸. He was smiling a smol cute little smile the whole time he was very precious and I just wanted to love him.

Taeyong: MY FUCKING BIAS. WOOOW HES SOOO ATTRACTIVE WAS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??? I WAS IN THE RED CARPET TAKING PICS THEN HE CAME OUT AND I JUST I PUT MY PHONE DOWN AND STARED AT HIM I HAD TO EXPERIENCE HIS BEAUTY RIGHT THERE MY MOUTH GOT FUCKING DRY AT HIS BEAUTY. Super nice skin super cute lil sweet heart trying to please everyone fan interaction every time u turn around. When he dances he GETS INTO IT his hair flops all around it’s really adorable! He hits all his moves super sharp and it’s very pleasing to see. He had a solo before all the other boys came out and he KILT THAT SHIT everyone was in shock because it was so good. He was very nervous and I was like abt to cry bc that’s my baby and no. He was talking in English and messed up and he DID THE CUTEST SHIT EVER he just looked at the ground and started smiling and all the boys just patted his back everyone said “awww” tho so I hope that made him feel better. Really a perfectionist, tried his hardest to speak really good English, ohh boy his English voice is cuteeeeee. He kept taking his jacket off because he was gettin hot. Has nice arms, the boys weren’t lying ab those veins girl u can see them from miles away, he has nice hands too. He’s kinda like Taeil he’s not very tall he’s more on the shorter side but very nice thin pretty dancer body. He was so pretty?They had a little fan interaction wheel of fortune thingy and he kept doing all the little popular American dances he was gettin it in. On stage he’s got a very sexy idgaf vibe, but in reality he’s cute and quiet. A fan had the same hair color as him and when he walked by her he pointed to his hair and then hers and gave a thumbs up. In all he really works hard and you can tell he really cares for everyone especially his members, he’s very nervous but once he gets past that he’s super cute and wants to make sure fans have a good time. ALSO HES FUCKING GORGEOUS I CANT EXPLAIN.

Johnny: BIG HES BIG TALL LEAN BUT MUSCULAR BUILD HE’S THE EPITOME OF A MAN. Very tall, I was at his elbow. He was right next to me and I almost fainted he was so hot. He has these little patches that look like irritated or inflamed skin on his left cheek near his neck and under his jaw his makeup artists covered it really well tho so I really couldn’t tell. He has flawless pore less skin it looked really soft and dewy. His hair was actual sex, the pictures don’t do him justice he fucking ROCKS this hair and it makes him give off sexy vibes. When I told him I loved him he gave me the sweetest smile ever and ugh I melted. Very polite baby!! Asked how everyone in my isle was doing and waved to everyone! I can’t get over how nice his body was I just wanted him to wrap me up in his arms so badly they looked so strong, his body is actually pretty wide but he’s lean and muscular, like he could engulf you. Bless those stylists tho bc his clothes fit him really well and he looked very cute. He’s a precious pure baby in a big sexy man body, he was smiling the whole concert everyone was PIPING HIS HEAD YO. He was talking and it got quiet and he was asking the members to show something and asking the girl who got picked for the song to pick a singing member and a girl in my isle screamed “I pick you Johnny” and he couldn’t contain his smile and laughter like he was cracking tf up. Every time it got quiet I would scream Johnny along with 2-3 other people in my isle and he would smile SO BIG. He was really happy, lots of Johnny stans there. His legs are big and long, when he dances you can see how big they are, he was smirking the whole cherry bomb choreo bc everyone kept screaming his name. In all he was extremely extremely handsome I wasn’t ready I had no idea how handsome he was! He’s so underrated please love him he deserves it. He’s a cute shy baby with a sexy face and body like he would treat u so well I can just tell. I really wanna meet him again!

Win win: PRINCE OF FUCKING CHINA. Huge eyes like they’re half his face. Symmetrical face with very nice features. Sort of round face. Good hair, pretty doll lips. He’s sort of on the shorter side and he’s thin but not as thin as Taeyong. He was gettin hyped, there were a lot of win win stans with little signs and stuff. He didn’t speak any English but listened very intently when Mark and Johnny and the others spoke English, you can tell he really wants to learn. I feel like he’s a fast learner. Very articulate and energetic dancer, looks like he’s having the time of his life on stage. Laughs at anything the members say, he really loves them. I was wearing an nct banner on my shoulders and he pointed at it and gave a heart and I thought I died for a sec. He tries to make sure every fan can see him like when they were waving goodbye he took the longest and kept stopping to wave 😂. He’s a cute baby and sometimes it seems like he isn’t thinking about anything? He loves being on stage and dances amazing I was so impressed by him, the other members all dance very well too. He seems very innocent and sweet, he works very hard and does a very energetic stage. Really tho he’s so handsome like prince of China frfr.

Jaehyun: TALL BABY! HANDSOME BABY! PRETTY BABY! MUSCULAR BABY! He really is tall, almost as tall as Johnny. Definitely most muscular in NCT he has BIG arms, you can see through his clothes how defined he is. His voice is deep, like deeper than on the actual tracks. AMAZING LIVE Singer. He sang live the whole time and everyone was amazed. He’s actually very good at dancing!!! A real man!! The type of guy u wanna wife up. Shy but confident, very smiley and cute with his members. His hair is really nice I wanted to run my hands through it so bad. When he was in the isle with me he kept looking around and licking his lips 😫😫. He’s really built so well and his voice sounds like honey. Actual prince. You think he looks good in pictures? Well if you see him in real life your gonna be blown back by his handsomeness.
Actor like chiseled features, looks like his jawline will cut you. Big eyes, small face. He was very pale, but not extremely pale he was just very symmetrical and perfect looking, he looked like if you could create the perfect man. Overall he seemed like a cute reserved sweet heart, once again shockingly handsome and sexy but also very cute!

Doyoung: BEAGLE! THIS BOY IS TALL AND CUTE! THIS BOY IS BOYFRIEND MATERIAL! He has very circular big eyes, he’s pretty thin. Legs r long as fuck they look like they’re his whole body. Sweet high voice when he sings, he sings very well live. When he was singing to the girl i was shocked how nice his voice really was. Cute hair, it’s also kinda thin. He gives off cutesy boyfriend vibes. Aesthetic boyfriend. Model boyfriend. Very well spoken and articulate. Very chic! Once again he seems like a model or something. All his clothes looked like he was modeling them. Cute stage presence equally cute up close. He wasn’t shy at all he just walked down the isle I was like damn ok. He has this sort of happy but chic aura. This boy knows what he’s doing he’s very good. Overall I just wanna walk through ny with him and take aesthetic pictures, such a boyfriend oml.

Yuta: HANSOME! SMART! LIKE REALLY DAMN HANDSOME! He’s a bias wrecker, he damn near stole my heart. Sexy boy fr tho idk if he knows how sexy he is tho. Good dancer too. DEEP DEEP VOICE FUCKKKK. His Korean is really good too. He’s in the middle for height also. When he dances he thrusts his hips a lot. You know that part in the beginning of cherry bomb the “I’m the biggest hit” part? Boy was thrusting his hips super hard. Nice body, also kinda thin but somewhat muscular. Really attractive and handsome, it’s like he commands your attention and leaves you wanting more. More of a smirk than a smile on stage. Cocky and sexy on and off stage, off stage he’s a tiny bit more cute tho. Sexy without trying sort of dancing. Sweater paws the whole night! He wasn’t sweating super bad despite his million layers of clothes. Seems like the school bad boy. Major bad boy vibes. Watch out tho bc then he’ll do some cute shit and steal ur heart. Overall very sexy with a good stage presence, I feel like he’s very cocky but in a good way like it’s hot, MAJOR BIAS WRECKER.


Mark: SUPER CUTE SUNSHINE BABY TRYING HIS BEST HE WANTS TO PLEASE YOU HES A GIFT FROM GOD! When I tell you the cutest most sweetest lil baby ever I mean it. Little baby facial features with big round eyes. His voice is surprisingly deep in real life? Tries to give bad boy sexy vibes on stage but just ends up being a cutie. PROTECT HIM. He can dance very well I would say one of the best dancers. FULL OF ENERGY THE WHOLE NIGHT. His hair was all floppy and bouncing around it was so precious. He was getting down to the wheel of fortune song like he was actually dancing really well to the random tune. He’s just so super cute and smiley UGJ. He will brighten your day. He was nervous and kept stuttering in English and smiling at the floor it was cute. His English voice is so nice to hear it’s like the perfect tone it just sort of flows into you ears. Bouncing around the stage the whole night. TRYING HIS ABSOLUTE HARDEST AND BEST. Really hard worker. Sweating a bit but it was cute. Everything he does is cute. Overall I jut wanna protect him and watch him grow and get more popular, he’s really so lovable.

Haechan: AWWWWWWW CUTE LIL BABY BOY! SOOO EXCITED AB EVERYTHING! When he dances he also bounces around. SMOL! Heart piercing smile! SMIRKING THROUGH EVERY PERFORMANCE. It’s funny because he thinks he’s older than he is and it’s really cute. CUTE PRECIOUS BABY FAT I HOPE IT NEVR GOES AWAY. Sweet baby face and very interesting and melodic voice. I’m smiling while I write this y'all he was so cute in his little shorts. He was so fucking happy and excited just really super precious. He can dance really well too he killed his solo thingy. Really sweet baby you would never know how much of a trouble maker he was. He’s really the cutest lil thing and so excited he couldn’t contain it! God I just wanna protect him.

Manic pixie dream girl says, ‘have you heard this record?’ Manic pixie dream girl says let me save you with this record. Let me put the headphones on for you, and smile, while you listen; cut to your point of view, watch me smile while you listen. Hear that? That’s the sound of you becoming a better person.

I’m gonna paint a picture of a bird on your beige wall without your permission and you’re gonna love it. And you thought you hated birds. See me? Encouraging you to take risks? Manic pixie dream girl wants you to do something you’ve never done before. Like go swing-dancing, or smile. You wanna know my name? You never call me by it anyway. If I had to guess, it would probably be a season, or after a dead actress who you loved as a child.

But this isn’t about me! This is about you, and your cubicle job, your white bedroom, your white Honda, your white mother. Manic pixie dream girl says I’m going to save you. Says, don’t worry, you are still the lead role. This is your love story about the way I teach you to live. Everything they know about me they will learn when it is projected onto you, watch the way you pick up my bad habits and make them look good. Manic pixie dream girl talks too much. Says bad words out loud and cries at the commercials. That makes me a funny woman, right? The kind people like to laugh at? It’s easy to root for you when I act like this, so disagreeable, such a manic dream, dream girl, your almost broken accessory.

Manic pixie dream girls says let’s play make believe with my body. I’ll be a vintage dress in an empty prescription bottle, good girl, just bad enough, a burp and a curtsy. Let me be not too pretty, hair fried from all that pink dye, sex when you need it, puppet when you’re bored. Let me build myself smaller than you, let me apologize when I get caught acting bigger than you. Let me always wait for this, let me work for this.

The convenient thing about being a magical woman is that I can be gone as quickly as I came. And when you are a whole person for the first time, the movie is over. Manic pixie dream girl doesn’t go on; there’s no need for her anymore. Manic pixie dream girl is too dream girl, and you just woke up. Once, I told you I was afraid of my father, and for a moment, I looked so human, the audience lost interest. You saw the crow’s feet at the sides of my eyes and a small chip on my front tooth. I looked just like everyone else.

—  Olivia Gatwood, “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” (a transcript)

MOON BYULYI WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL

Pick up lines Sentence Starters

Some of these are NSFWish but most are SFW

“Hey, are you a parking ticket? because you’ve got fine written all over you.”

“Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark you still seem to shine”

“Are you from Jamaica? Because jamaican me crazy over you.”

“Is that a phone in your back pocket? Because that ass is callin’ me!”

“You from Taiwan? ‘Cause Taiwan-na get in your pants!”

“Hey, mind if i take a picture of you? I wanna prove to my friends that angels are real.”

“Hope you’ve counted your sins, ‘cause there’s gonna be a demon in your bed tonight”

“There’s gonna be a full moon tonight. I’ll help you howl all night long“

“You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime!”

“If you were a transformer, you’d be a hot-obot and your name would be optimus fine~”

“I’m gonna need ice over here, cause you’re too hot for me.”

“Hope you like Pokémon, ‘cause I wanna Pikachu!“

“I think I need a paralyz heal. Because you are absolutely stunning.”

“Is your body from McDonalds? Cause I’m loving it!“

“Are you religious? Cause you’re answer all my prayers!”

“Do you have a map? Because i got just lost in your eyes”

“Do you mind if I walk you home? My mother always told me to follow my dreams.”

“Are you a bicycle? Cause i wanna ride you all night long~!”

“Are your legs made of Nutella? Cause I want to spread them!“

“Are you from china? ‘cause i’m china get ya in my bedroom tonite!”

“Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”

“Are you a magician?  Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

The Lego Batman Movie Sentence Starters

“DC. The house that Batman built.”
“Get yourself ready for some…reading.”
“Batman is very wise.”
“Yeah, I’ve got an extra ab.”
“We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C4, about 150 little cute little classic bomb-type bombs, and two best friends, and request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world!”
“I’m a loser at home, and I’m a loser at work.”
“You should be terrified.”
“All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant!”
“Dear gosh, you destroyed the ___! You have thought of everything!”
“I just wrote a song about how I’m gonna kick all of your butts.”
“Get it together, guys, you’re making me look bad in front of Batman!”
“Save the city or catch your greatest enemy.”
“You think you’re my greatest enemy?”
“I like to fight around.”
“I’m okay with you fighting other people.”
“Remember, kids: If you wanna be like Batman, take care of your abs.”
“Were you looking at the old family pictures again?”
“I don’t talk about feelings.”
“Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.”
“Tuxedo dress up party!”
“How am I supposed to get ___’s respect when I’m working with these human farts?”
“I’m just so jazzed to meet you!”
“I hate everything you just said.”
“You won’t get to fight any of this anymore.”
“Riddle me this: …what just happened?”
“There are no more vigilantes allowed.”
“You need to take responsibility for your life.”
“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Hello secret camera!”
“You’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies and drinking chardonnay.”
“Chance of failure is 110%.”
“Sometimes to right a wrong, you have to wrong right.”
“How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met.”
“Life doesn’t give you seatbelts!”
“I’m trying to give you a big old hug.”
“What’s the vigilante position on cookies?”
“It’s weirder if it’s not your son…”
“Somebody get this man some pants.”
“You can’t be a hero if you only care about yourself.”
“I got thrown in this heckhole on purpose!”
“I’m gonna go start looting.”
“Ask your nerd friends.”
“Who’s the greatest villain of them all now?!”
“I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.”
“Rename this the buttmobile.”
“Do you ever get scared?”
“This is not a family trip.”
“It’s 100% lava.”
“Why did you build this thing only one seat?”
“Last I checked I only had one butt.”
“For a loner, you sure like movies about relationships.”
“Good news, our bathroom problem is solved.”
“We are just one big happy f…raternity of people.”
“I don’t need friends.”
“I swear I’m a good guy.”
“I was trying to protect them…”
“Are they really the ones you’re protecting?”
“Don’t do what I would do!”
“You’ve gotta let me go down there and save them!”
“I don’t even know why you bothered coming back.”
“…I was afraid.”
“I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you.”
“Saving this city is too big a job for one person.”
“Who’s laying down those funky beats?”
“Okay, ___. Bring the pain.”
“As I predicted, we’re doomed!”
“You had me at shut up.”
“How are your abs, bro?”
“Sometimes losing people is part of life, but that doesn’t mean you stop letting them in.”
“This is my family. But it’s your family too.”
“Do you have a knife? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.”

As a black woman with a visible leg prosthetic I hate how I’m expected to put aside my personal discomfort to “educate” people. I have folks come up to me asking me things that I will never answer and get mad when I politely ask them to leave me alone. “Can you have sex?” “How did you lose your leg?” “Can I touch it?” These are few of them most irritating questions I get on the daily. I will never disclose how I lost my leg. It was traumatic, painful, a depressing! Why would you put me through that? And how dare you get rude, mad and persistent when I ask to be left alone? Disable people aren’t here for your pity and questions. We’re human just like you. Do not touch us without permission! Don’t even ask! I told my therapist one day that the worst thing that came with my disability was not relearning how to walk, losing my leg, walk up stairs but the inconsiderate people that won’t leave me alone. When I had my leg people ignored me and let me be. I miss that. So before you go to a disable person in regards of “educating” yourself simply ask yourself “Is it any of my buisness?” “Do they wanna talk about it?” “Are they comfortable?” “Is this an appropriate thing to say?” “Does this concern me?” And most importantly treat me like a human being. I didn’t lose my right to privacy and humanity when I lost my leg. Stop asking to take pictures with me, I am not a freak. Stop using your children as weapons to get me to speak, cause I won’t. Stop telling me about that one amputee in YouTube you saw happy that people are asking her about her leg, I am not her. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask for?

100 Prompts

1. “Close your eyes and shut up.”

2. “They hide paper towels in their room and I don’t know why.“

3. “Get over it, pussy.”

4. “He yelled yeehaw and I’m not quite sure why.”

5. “No playing video games together is not considered a date.”

6. “Give me anime or give me death.”

7. “Your mom texted to tell me you’re pathetic.”

8. "Do you ever look at your hand after you nut and just think “I’m so disgusting.” I call it post nut depression.”

9. “I think I have a kink for being made fun of.”

10. "I can’t believe you woke me up crying over a group.”

11. “You’re just naturally dumb.”

12. “Why did you take a picture praying to an anime character?”

13. "On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you not wanna do this?” “I don’t.”

14. “I’m going to my bed.” “That’s the bathroom.”

15. “I would have stayed if you asked.”

16. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

17. "Are you hurt?”

18. “Why do you have a duck in your bag?”

19. "Why are you listening to the ICarly soundtrack?”

20. “I don’t want to hear about your toe.”

21. “Why can’t we get matching clothes?”

22. “You were sick 5 minutes ago.” “But I’m not sick now.”

23. "I’ve lost my nose.”

24. "Why would I have a problem with you facetiming your cat?”

25. “Is this your dream?”

26. “I don’t understand why you’d think that.”

27. "I’m living life to the fullest extent!”

28. “What do you mean you won’t sleep in the empty bed?!”

29. “I’m part of the pathetic line.”

30. “It’s two a.m., why are you next to me?”

31. “Sex doesn’t make you any better at playing Overwatch.”

32. “No problem friend. I am meme share supreme.”

33. “I can’t go to Taco Bell for a while.”

34. “Can you con someone for group dessert money?”

35. “You look like the manager for Hot Topic.”

36. “Am I supposed to find you laying in my bed in a banana suit hot?”

37. “I can’t find my pants.”

38. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

39. “Who cares if they saw?”

40. “Please come with me.”

41. "Let me shower first!”

42. “What is that?”

43. “I’m not the one doing it.”

44. “I’m not him.”

45. “It’s a secret.”

46. “Did you read it?”

47. “What if I prove you wrong?”

48. “How do we get in?”

49. “Is something wrong with me?”

50. “That’s my theme song.”

51. “Let me stay. Please.”

52. “All I want is you and if I can’t have that-”

53. “Ask for permission.”

54. “Why did you say ‘Daddy’ in your sleep?”

55. “I put trust in you.”

56. “Stay.”

57. “You’re a filthy squid.”

58. "Do you really need those?”

59. "Would you be able to be happy with me?”

60. “Just come here.”

61. "All I was doing was looking for you.”

62. “I feel so fucking stupid.”

63. “I can handle myself.”

64. "It was your fault.”

65. "How did it take me so long to realize?”

66. “It was always you.”

67. “You bought my hip hop monster?”

68. “Don’t start with that again.”

69. “F-Fuck.”

70. “Disgusting.”

71. “We were just joking around, right? Please tell me you knew that.”

72. “Why are you sleeping?”

73. “Why do you want taco bell now?”

74. “Hey, what would my name be if I was a Pokémon?”

75. “All great stories started off shitty. Just like you. Now, fix yourself.”

76. "What’s your favorite meme?”

77. “I left the house today.”

78. “Does this make me some kind of hero?”

79. “You don’t need to know.”

80. “It’s just not that impressive.”

81. “I need some sugar.”

82. “There were two so I figured one was mine-”

83. “Please don’t go.”

84. "Just a bit more-”

85. “Are you subconsciously doing the dance?”

86. “You promised you wouldn’t fall asleep.”

87. "You’re not a bad problem, you’re a good problem. Not a problem, problem.”

88. “Don’t pretend I didn’t just see what you were doing.”

89. “We just don’t really talk anymore.”

90. "Do you think other species have their own kind of drugs? Like something that gets them high?”

91. “Stop stroking your plushie.”

92. "Look, it’s called Joppa!”

93. "You’re just a little baby.”

94. “Ow, my ass.”

95. "Please just take a nap.”

96. "But that was my best pickup line!”

97. "Would you still act the same knowing everyone’s eyes were on you?”

98. “You’re just a memory now.”

99. “Go fuck yourself.”

100. “It’s never gonna happen.”

Definitely not my designs for them yet, but I gotta start drawing them to get everyone else’s tres horny boys out of my system first before i can land on designs that feel right to me. 

(quick warmup. 45 seconds each.)

My Reputation Secret Session Experience

(an abbreviated version to keep confidentiality)

I got a DM from Taylor Nation before the London SS had happened, so I honestly had no idea what the “secret event” was. They called me and said the event was in Rhode Island, and I mean the only thing there is her house but I didn’t know what the event entailed. Knowing Taylor, I was like she’s gonna make it so fun and so detailed and so personal whatever it is.

I was not able to focus on anything for two weeks because I was just thinking about taylor and rhode island. I took a train from NYC to Rhode Island the night before. Wednesday October 18, 2017 was such a GORGEOUS day. The water was SO BLUE. THE SUN WAS SHINING. and there was a helicopter hovering in front of taylor’s house which annoyed me but yeah I’ll try to get over that.
Fast forward to being at her house. First of all, her security detail is hilarious. They are so nice and funny and were cracking jokes the whole time. The very first person I talked to was none other than Scott Swift, the man the legend, wearing a striped sweater only a dad would buy and his pockets overflowing with 1989 guitar picks. I spent a good chunk of time chatting with him on the deck he’s amazing—we stan forever.
Also I legit hung out and excitedly mingled in Taylor’s kitchen so long that I forgot it wasn’t normal to be in her kitchen. There was a huge spread of Chick-fil-a nuggets, pizza, chips, custom Rep cookies and M&Ms, Smart Water and Diet Coke.
*side note i’m a vegetarian but if taylor would have offered me a nugget i would have forgotten my vow against meat*
I was so comfortable and having so much fun that it just felt like I was at my friend’s house party, which I was. But then like every 30 minutes it would hit me that to the outside world, she was THE Taylor Swift, and I was in her kitchen…
Fast forward to Andrea coming down to also hang out and mingle with us. She smelled amazing (so did the entire house). She came up to me and Sol and said hello with a huge smile on her face and then pulled us both into a tight hug at the same time and said “YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS.” and honestly I just wanted to hug her ten more times and be like THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE MADAM PRESIDENT.
Side note, the kitchen has adorable childhood pictures of Taylor and Austin and pictures of the family on the beach and its all v cute.
Also I saw the mermaid, I MEAN THE MERMAID that taylor and selena posed by and i was like wow this iconic.
ALSO as many of you know i’m not only a taylor stan, but a huge todrick stan, and i have been for years. so i died a little when i realized that i was leaning against the same kitchen counter that they were sitting on during thanksgiving and i was like wow its cool i’m fine we’re fine EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Fast forward to Austin also coming downstairs to mingle. He’s adorable and I love him. I didn’t get to chat with him bc it was kind of crowded but he was smiling and laughing and looked genuinely happy to be there.
Tree was also floating around the kitchen here and there and let me just say she’s GORGEOUS. (also she was the MVP later when I needed to pee)
Okay fast forward some more and it’s time to move into the living room. There are cushions on the floor and I’m sitting with all of my friends, including several of us who are from NYC. There are people setting the room and Andrea, Scott and Austin just look so excited that we’re there and that made me so happy.
After what felt like centuries of people opening doors, stomping upstairs and shutting the curtains, it was time for the queen to make her entrance.
The door to my right flew open and that tall drink of water in black thigh high boots and blonde curls and a huge smile entered the room and collectively we all made noises that probably sounded non-human.
She said “Hi, I’m Taylor” as she sat down in this throne of a chair and crossed her legs that are collectively longer than the great wall of china.
She said “you’ve done your detective work right (my detectivey heart fell out of my detectivey ass) and you are at the Reputation Secret Sessions


**and that’s where the cone of silence comes on and what happened for the next several hours at the secret sessions STAYS at the secret sessions.**


So after I DIED because she obviously played us every track of the album. It was time for picturesssss.
As I walked in to see Taylor, I didn’t even make it to her yet before she strutted toward me and scooped me into a hug so tight that I said “hey i’m kelsea” into her hair ;askdjflskfj
She pulled away and was like “yeah I know, and you spell it S-E-A right?” AND LEMME TELL YOU i’ve gone my entire 24 years of life with my name spelled wrong, even people I’ve known for years will spell it Kelsey. and I replied to Taylor, “UM YEAH” and she got so excited she fist pumped and then put her hand up for a high five and we literally had the most epic high five of my entire life I’m pretty sure they heard it in Australia. ok.
At this point Sol walked in and I introduced her to Taylor too. She loved Sol so much. so so much.
Then I asked Taylor if she found me on Tumblr or Twitter, and she immediately replied “Tumblr” with a nod. and then she goes “I KNOW you love TODRICK, and I LOVE that.”  and I’m pretty sure that was the moment my brain short-circuited.

and i was like “OKAY well TN contacted me via Twitter and I was real confused because my handle is  @ toddyownsmyass” and her face lit up, her mouth dropped open, she grabbed my hand and laughed and said “OH MY GOD HAHAHHA”. 

Next I told her about our annual NYC July 9th party. I was like listen taylor, the entire reason i met sol is because we’re tumblr friends and we have this party every year at sofia’s apt in the upper west side where we stay up until 1:58 AM listening to Last Kiss and then she was like “AWWWW” and I remember her face just looking at the two of us in pure amazement.
OKAY now it was time for pictures and Taylor was like “we’re gonna take a group shot first and then we’ll do individuals ok?” and during our group photo she hugged both me and Sol so tightly. 

She looks at me and I put my hands together and I’m like “Okay, I want to recreate a photo you and todrick did on the couch” and she got so excited she was like “GREAT but I’m not doing the splits again” as she walks over to this gorgeous white couch. and i was like “nah girl i CANT do the splits, i wanna do that back to back one” and she was so invested it was adorable. It took us a few minutes of sitting back to back and discussing our knee placement, our hand placement, and both of us kept turning and looking over our shoulders to make sure we were matching and coordinating our bodies right. and then right before the picture taylor goes “what should we do with this hand? oh i know lets hold hands” and she grabbed my hand and held it so tightly. i’m pretty sure you can see in my facial expression how much that meant to me—i’m BEAMING. out of all forms of social interaction, hand holding is one of the most intimate,it’s not something we do with very many people if you really think about it.
after the picture is taken, we are still sitting back to back on the couch, holding hands, and she turns to look at me and goes “that’s the cutest pose i’ve ever done” and i’m all “Awwww thanks!” thinking she’s just being a sweetheart. and then her expression is happy but a little more serious, and she goes “No, I’m being serious, like I’ve never done anything cuter.” and ladies that’s probably the moment I was like “HI I’M KELSEA AND I WELCOME DEATH WITH OPEN ARMS”.
It was going to be time to leave because we had already taken our pictures but Taylor grabbed me and Sol again and squeezed us and gushed “you little FLOWER buttons” and at the time my brain was like ???? I thought maybe she was going to say we were flowers, and then halfway through changed her mind to buttons…well ANYWAYS she reblogged that photo of us later and clarified that she believes sol and i embody the aesthetic of tiny adorable little flower-shaped buttons and now i will no longer look at flowers nor buttons the same way and Sol and I text each other randomly “FLOWER BUTTONS” just to make each other cry it’s great. okay moving on…
It was time to leave and right before i walked away, I yelled to her “TAYLOR, YOU’RE INVITED TO OUR JULY 9TH PARTY ANYTIME, UPPER WEST SIDE, NYC, SEE YOU THERE!” and i did some mix between dabbing and pointing that can only be attributed to all of the time i spent in college with frat boys. and with this big grin on her face she yelled back “THANKS! LOVE YOU GUYS!”
and i stumbled out of the room to pick up the Reputation merch bag Taylor gave all of us (GET YOU A WOMAN).
As her security guard let us into a van to be taken back to our car, I asked what time it was and it was so late Sofia and I had missed our train back to Manhattan. We didn’t care. We were stranded in Rhode Island but WHO CARES BC TAYLOR SWIFT LOVES US.
Ali from TN was like, “you guys have friends at your hotel right? like you have somewhere to go?” so sweet i love ali– we stan her forever.
Sofia and I went back to our hotel, which we had already checked out of mind you, and sat in the hallway, dazed and happy, from 2-4am. Sofia posted a photo of us on tumblr and taylor liked it and i was like wow taylor knows we’re stranded that’s hilarious i bet she’s laughing. We ended up calling a car service to pick us up in rhode island AND DRIVE US BACK TO NEW YORK CITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I got back to my apt on the upper east side at 5am and took a nap and then got up for work and tried to be an adult but it was a very sad attempt.
This is a very abbreviated account of what happened that fateful day Taylor welcomed me into her home for 8+ hours. A lot of it has to stay secret and confidential until the album comes out on Nov 10. Even more of it will likely never leave the walls of that gorgeous house by the sea. I will cherish these memories always and I know I am forever changed as a person from the Reputation Secret Sessions.

Thank you @taylorswift for EVERYTHING. I’m so proud to call you a friend.