i wanna eat you in and out

Seventeen As Things My Freinds and I've Heard/Said At School
  • Seungkwan: I WILL TAKE YO V CARD IF YOU DO NOT STOP PLAYIN!
  • Jisoo: I almost had to go down to the church and wash my eyes out with holy water.
  • Minghao: *someone says "Are y'all thirsty* *Minghao says*ARE YOU CALLIN ME A HOE?!?!?
  • Wonwoo: Hey, you got a nice booty but I wanna say that I wanna eat yo coochi.
  • Mingyu: I'm not that gay.
  • Seungcheol: WHO EVER JUST SAID JAILEY IS GETTING THEIR THROAT CHOPPED!!
  • Jihoon: Draw on me one more time and I'll shove that marker up your ass.
  • Vernon: *someone says 'I wanna go home.'* *vernon says* I wanna fuck you.
  • DK: *talking about Woozi* He can't waste water if he can't even reach the sink.
  • Hoshi: *someone asks 'What's 2 multiplied by 1'* THREE!
  • Jun: *presses face aginst wall and starts stroking it* I want to kill myself.
  • Jeonghan: Whoever just touched my hair is getting shot.
  • Dino: I know I'm cute, but I will kill you.

anonymous asked:

OMG IVE GOT THIS OVERSIZED T-SHIRT ON FOR BED AND ITS SO BIG AND LIKE WHEN I LIE DOWN IT SLIDES DOWN TO MY STOMACH AND I REALLY JUST WANNA FEEL HARRYS HANDS UNDERNEATH IT AND HAVE HIM EAT ME OUT WITH ONE OF HIS HANDS WRAPPED AROUND MY THIGH AND ONE ON MY STOMACH, AND OMG I WANT HIM TO CALL ME A GOOD GIRL AND PUSH THE T-SHIRT IM WEARING UP MORE

Oooooooh my god. Playing with the ends of the tshirt. “Love this shirt on you.” Kissing your thigh. “Love it OFF of you too.”

musicals as vine quotes cause why not

Phantom Of The Opera: “Hey, guys. Hit that like button if you think being haunted is. Kinda hot.”

Wicked: “And they were roommates!” “Oh my god they were roommates.”

Dear Evan Hansen: “He’s dead…” “… Oh ‘not the dickhead’ what do you want me to say?”

The Book Of Mormon: “WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY WE’RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS.” “KUMBAYAAAAAAAAAAAA MA LOOOOOOOO-”

Spring Awakening: “Hey, ma, what’s good? How old are you?” “Fifteen.” [UNINTELLIGABLE YELLING NOISES]

Heathers:  “SAW YOU HANGIN OUT WITH CAITLIN YESTERDAY-” “R-REBECCA, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU TH-” “I WONT HESITATE BITCH.”

Be More Chill: “Hey bro what do you wanna eat?” “ T̠̤̭̘̬̀h͖͉e̴͉̼ ̬̙͡s͍̦̖̘̥̮͙o̳̕ụ̪ḻ̣͞s͓͖̬ ͚̬o͍̮͉f̜̫̼̲̭ ͖̕t̲̱̮̣͎͍͈h̝͇̮̦̥͜e͙̺̝ ͈̼in̶̗̪̪̪̝n̗̮̭̣̺͈o͙̻̟̜͙̞c͎̻e̹̤̭̟n̘͞t” “A bagel.” “ N̟̦̬̭͖͍̗O͓̼͟!̣͢ “

American Idiot: “Don’t let anybody else ruin your life. Because it’s your life. You should ruin it.”

Les Misérables: “Hey ~  How ya doin? Well, I’m doin just fine. I lied. I’m dying inside.”

Rent: The “Completely Giving Up” vine that has all the characters named Me

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde:  “My god, they’ve been in there forever.” “Eh, they probably just-” “WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE THE SAME PERSON” “HOLY SHIT” “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN” “STOP YELLING AT ME”

Waitress: “Why did you seat that couple before us?” “It’s a table for two.” “Yeah?” “You have ten people.” “Yeah?” [”We Like To Party” by Vengaboys plays]

Chicago: Could ya stop playin that damn music?” “Don’t talk shit on my music!” [GUNSHOT] ♪ say you’ll remember me ♪

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

With the new blessed MP100 image that just came out i couldnt help but notice some things

Mob is L I T E R A L L Y sitting on the edge. Ritsu move ya damn ass over and make room for your brother smh why u always gotta start stuff

Dimple are you tryna spill your fries? Because that’s how you spill your fries

Reigen. Are you eating that WITH A WHITE SHIRT??? Thats how accidents are made Im calling the police

Teru, in his attempt to join in on the conversation, is about 5 seconds from spilling his drink and thats a tragedy i dont wanna see happen

faeron-the-wanderer  asked:

My guy, what's the name of the manga you've been reblogging?

Its called 

DANBERU NAN KIRO MOTERU?

Or in English

How Many Kilos are the Dumbbells You Lift?

I literally found it yesterday All thanks to @jake-everfree 

and its about these 2 girls which eventually turn to 5 

who want to start working out and going to the gym 

so theres Sakura Hibiki the blonde girl and my personal favorite whos basically just trying to lose weight cause she eats like Goku

and  Akemi Souryuuin the Dark Black Haired girl who is OBSESSED with Fitness and has a muscle fetish

And they get a BEAST OF A Personal Trainer named Machio

And he’s Just a Monstrous Intelligent Fitness Training Obsessed with helping them become Great!!

And the Manga goes in detail explaining Exercises.

Now I’m a Personal Trainer myself. I’ve been Certified the last 7 years and graduated college last year 

PS if you wanna hire me for online coaching just email me at jdownsfitness@gmail.com ;)

so I HONESTLY am Impressed with the facts they are spewing out. and THE MANGA IS F*CKIN FUNNY AS HELL! Because sometimes its slice of life fun.

Like a 29 year old teacher who loves to cosplay started working out so she could cosplay better 

and then it can turn into an ACTION BADASS SERIES just because Hibiki has Natural Gifts 

And everyones facial expressions will change to match the mood 

And its HILARIOUS, Its Fun, and just has so many things I appreciate as a Personal Trainer myself I LOVE THIS MANGA AND REAL TALK. Itss giving me 10x the Motivation to do better at fitness than OPM and yes even DBZ did back in the day 

SO GO READ IT NOW! 

https://mangadoom.co/danberu-nan-kiro-moteru/1

Its only 18 chapters right now! So Go Read it and tell me what ya think. Also 

@train-go you should check this out :)

And I can start another poll! 

Like I when I got 1021 people to read the One Punch Man manga way before the anime premiered :) Booyah! Let me see how many we can get! Making a video on this on my channel later ^_^

https://www.youtube.com/user/jaxblade07

The night starts with a big, spicy Philly cheese steak. It’s about 6pm. I’ve been wanting to try the cheese steak from this corny, 50’s retro place for a long time. I gobble down the big greasy bowl of meat, hot sauce, and cheese, then head to the coffee shop for my weekly draw group. A little after I get home, about 10pm, a stomach ache comes on. “Damn, guess spicy foods are out.” I’ve been getting stomach aches every time I have spicy Thai or hot wings. I google search about spice pain- possible stomach ulcer? “I guess I have been stressed lately, but no more than usual I don’t think…” File under “Will investigate further later.“ According to the comments on this health website, a glass of milk will help. Gulp one down, go to bed.

Wrestle to sleep for about an hour. Realize the ache is just over the required pain threshold to keep you from sleeping. Do some work on my comic, more tired, but stomach worse. Will play batman until I fall asleep. I feel like I’m just running in circles… How many times have I failed this mission? Batman, batman, stomach now hurts too bad to enjoy an active task like video games. Deliriously tired. Would be great to sleep through the rest of this abdominal temper tantrum. Try the old “hot shower will make you sleep” trick. Take some Pepto-Bismol, and some generic acetaminophen. Out of the shower, hurts to walk around now, and to lie down. Guess I’ll have to wait it out with my eyes open. Call and leave my Doc a message, maybe will get a spot in there tomorrow. Need to get that ulcer discovered… Time to enjoy a passive task like watching TV. Breaking Bad feels like the right mixture of funny and painful, just like me and my burning spice belly. Damn, I can’t even enjoy that part where during Hank’s interrogation of that meth head, Wendy, she accuses Hank of trying to buy sexual services from her on behalf of an underage “football player” (a misunderstanding involving Walter Jr. from a few episodes before). Oh hell. Time to look up what time emergency medical clinics open. Guess I’ll have to pay out of pocket since I can’t wait for my Doc tomorrow.  It’s about 4am now. Earliest clinic opens at 8. Now hungry again, but can’t eat what with all the pain. One hour down. Man, this is really starting to hurt. Can I really wait 3 more hours? Sitting is starting to hurt as much as lying and standing. And I’m still not enjoying TV. Okay, I’ve come to a decision…. 

“Hey, Kayla, my stomach still hurts, I’m thinking about driving to the ER, do you wanna come?” “Oh! Ya, sure. What time is it?” “It’s 5:30”. I  call the hospital “Hey, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache all night, I’m thinking of coming by.” Operator: *long pause* “Haha, well, okay! We’re open all night, so just come on in.” 

Driving with a stomach ache is not so bad, because you’re already hunched over. Wish Kayla could drive, but she doesn’t really know how, probably would have a panic attack and would definitely crash. Interesting that they have ER parking, I wonder how many ER patients drive themselves here… All bodily positions hurt my insides now, signing in to this place sucks. Give Kayla half the paperwork to fill out, glad she’s here, or this would be really boring. Man, they sure take a long time for someone trying to get into an empty emergency room… Signing in with a nurse, she ask me my height and I say “ ‘5’’8”, but I notice she puts down “ ‘5’’7”… They want to look at my pee, they always want to see my pee. I pee, no blood, so whatever that tells them means I’m getting an ultrasound first. Then a young nurse named Ken, a cool Asian dude with screws through both ears, squirts so much morphine into my IV that I lean back and audibly say “oh my god.” I feel it ripple like a shock wave from my arm down to the ends of my body. My belly is feeling alright now. 

The ultrasound technician tells me that babies are the least common thing she uses ultrasounds for. My joke has fallen flat. Back in the room, the doctor and his manila folder tell me “Good news! No gallstones, there are kidney stones inside your kidneys, but since they are inside, you shouldn’t be feeling the pain from those.” “Wait, does that mean I have to pee those stones out at some poin–” It is not discussed again. Seeing that neither organ has the appropriate stones, Doc would “rather not expose me to more radiation than necessary” and is working on discharging me. But, “I won’t leave here without a diagnosis.” 

In I go to the CT scan tube. That hot squish of contrast dye spreading through my veins. “Okay, we’re moving you into a room upstairs.” Says a hippy technician. Upstairs in my sweet and swanky single with couch, a person I’m pretty sure is just a businessman disguised in medical scrubs types on a computer. He takes down my answers to what seem like pre-surgery questions. “Do you have anybody specific on file in the event you are medically unable to yield consent  for yourself?” This, combined fact that they won’t feed me, makes me wonder what it is I’m going into surgery for. I saw this same thing about a year and a half ago with the whole brain debacle, but that’s a story for another time. Several medical people dip in, sprinkle breadcrumbs of information; it’s like a game show challenge that combines a scavenger hunt with a jigsaw puzzle. You have to gather the pieces of information from their hiding places, then assemble them in the correct order to reveal an answer. A tech comes in and spoils the game, “You seem to have a lot of questions, so I just want to make sure, you know you have appendicitis right? We’re about to take it out.” “Thank god,” I think. “It’s not the spicy foods. Spicy foods are still in.” Downstairs, in pre-op, I complain to my plain-clothes surgeon about how analog tests like pressing on my stomach are remarkably inaccurate, since a doctor’s subjective interpretation of my poor description of say, “the pain is slightly higher” can rule out appendicitis, the same appendicitis that a machine might spot an hour later. I tell him that I almost got sent home. My surgeon tells me he’s been doing analogue tests for 30 years, and not to worry about it. I start to tell him how “my deadpan reaction to pain also causes a lot of people to misdiagnose me, that a lot of people laugh when I describe how I’m in pai–”, but he walks away in the middle to get dressed for surgery. The operating room has big TVs and lights, it looks like a set, and I consider the possibility of fake hospitals as the anesthesia takes the wheel.

In the recovery area, the nurse tells me how big, inflamed appendixes can be agitated by spicy foods, foods high in fat, and dense foods like heavy cheese. I see an image of a spotlit cheese steak appear in a black void. Nurse feeds me ice chips and tells me she craves ice chips when she’s dehydrated. I suggest that she only craves ice chips because she works in a hospital, that ice chips are too unsatisfying a thing to crave at random, and that most people would just crave water. She agrees. Back upstairs in my room, it is now 8pm, and it has been 26 hours since I’ve eaten. I’ve been hydrated only through IV’s. The driest mouth and the clearest pee. Because the lingering anesthetic can cause nausea and vomiting, they will only give me jello. I go nuts on the jello. They continue to give me every jello I ask for, one at a time, like a test. Way past where I though the cutoff point would be, the nurse tells me “That’s it! There’s no more jello! You ate all the jello on this floor.” You’re damn right I did, you’re damn right….

💕please help a black trans girl be great this week (if you got it)💕

Seriously I don’t wanna be that person but like…shit is real right now if somebody could donate to me so I can eat this week i’d really appreciate it, I made another donation post like a day ago that got no traction but basically I have a psych appointment and a therapy appointment as well as refills to come out of pocket for this week & I know after paying for all of that I’m gonna be B-R-O-K-E lol so please help if u can

cash.me/briellenicol3
paypal: briellemarciano@yahoo.com

so i’m catching up on the one point korean lessons and is no one talking about the fact that jackson said ‘라면 먹고 갈래’/wanna go eat ramen (the korean equivalent of netflix and chill) AGAIN and stared at jaebum while everyone else was just awkwardly silent or did i just miss the memo bc like

i’m sorry if you can’t read korean but like look at hIS FACE AND THEN JUST

BAMBAM EITHER TRYING TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION OR NOT UNDERSTANDING AND THEN THE CHERRY ON TOP IN CASE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE

tHIS SHIT????? jackbum just WTF LOOK AT THEM i’m out

the smh as history of the world quotes
  • bitty: now you can eat sunshine
  • jack: "wow that guy's rich" everyone said
  • shitty: coming soon to a dank river valley near you
  • lardo: japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government
  • ransom: you could make a religion out of this
  • holster: hell yeah now we got business
  • chowder: by the way where the hell are we
  • nursey: wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
  • dex: that's bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that's a scam. fuck the church. here's 95 reasons why
Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

Dating Zach Dempsey would include...

Originally posted by void-obriens

Zach Dempsey x Reader

Requested: 

A/N: I thought It’s a really cool Idea to make a headcanon and then an example and I hope it’s okay for you… Enjoy!xx

MASTERLIST

You wanna request something?


  • Never ever ignore is messages after everything that happened

(Baby Boo)
Hey you wanna hang out at the diner? eating some fries and letting time pass by? (read 6:54 pm)

(Baby Boo)
I’m starting to get worried (send 7:03 pm)

(Baby Boo)
nvm what you doing, I’m coming over now (send 7:16 pm)

  • Height difference

“Is it normal that you are so small?”, Zach said while he used you as an armrest.

  • Zach’s late night texts because he cannot sleep

(Baby Boo)
Hey you up? (read 3:23 am)

(Me)
It’s 3 am, of course not. (read 3:24 am)

(Baby Boo)
LOL (send 3:24 am)

  • His parents dislike you because you are friends with Clay Jensen

“Why are you so sure that they hate you?”, Zach groaned as he heard you complain about his parents and unlocked the front door of his house. you rolled my eyes in annoyance and whispered loud enough:“Are you kidding me? The death glare that they are always giving me when they see me?”

  • Random presents during the day

“Are these roses for me?”, you smiled when your eyes caught the red roses on the backseat of his car.

  • You found out that he’s on the tapes

“You are an asshole, Dempsey.”, Tears started to rush down my cheeks, the school hallway was suddenly silent. “You don’t understand.”, he raspy voice filled my ears, just letting more tears escaping my eyes.

  • Being his winter dance date

Slow music played while everybody was quiet; enjoying the moment. His hands carefully curved your waist while your hands stroked his small hair on his neck. Your lips were locked with each others touch. This night was perfect.

  • Wearing his Letterman Jacket because it’s life

“Am I ever going to get my jacket back?”-”Never.”

  • “You look better with you Make-Up.”

Zach groaned annoyed when he saw that you were about to put foundation on your face, you just giggled and continued doing your Make-Up.

  • Trying to cheer you up whenever you are down

“Always when I was small I loved playing with spoons, and I always did something like that-”, Zach quickly grabbed a spoon from the kitchen sink and rubbed it clean, while letting his breath touch the cold metal. He laid the spoon on his nose carefully but failed awfully when the spoon fell instantly off his nose, but at least you laughed.

  • Him teaching you how to play basketball

“Damn you are too small for basketball..”, he laughed when the ball bounced away from you. “Ha-Ha!, you laugh sarcastic as you grabbed the ball away from him and tried to throw the ball in the basket and succeed.

  • Jamming together out to music in his car while a long drive

“Just stop your crying It’ll be alright.”, you both screamed your lungs out while Harry Styles’ voice filled the car with chills.

  • Cheering for his team they have a basketball match

Even though you never understand the sense in basketball, you knew when you have to cheer.

  • Playing video games at his house

“And- I won again!”,  you cheered as the last HP of Zach’s character lost it, he groaned annoyed and runs his hands through his messy hair; begging for revenge.

  • I love you’s

“I love you so so so so so so much.”, he mumbled against your ear and kissed it softly, letting a small smile crossing your lips; You loved it to hear those little “love you’s” and every time you heard them you instantly melted away.

Hickeys | Jeff Atkins Imagine

Anonymous said: hii, could you possibly do a imagine where the reader is like really freaking shy, especially when jeff gives her hickies 😂 but then he like comfort her about it say that the reader doesn’t have to be shy? basically just a really sweet and loving jeff. thank you! 💓

your p.o.v ━

you were currently walking down the hall with one of your close friends, hannah baker. you were both quietly chatting about the long school day you had, both thanking god that it was friday.

as the both of you neared your locker, you saw your tall boyfriend jeff, leaning against it with a tired expression on his face.

“hi love,” he said, approaching you with open arms and a tired smile. you walked right into his strong arms, instantly wrapping your arms around the middle of his torso.

you were too short to reach his neck, even on your tiptoes. once you felt his arms wrap around you, he pulled you as close as possible against him mumbling a tired, “i love you.”

you grinned, pulling back a bit and tilting your head to gaze up at him. “i love you,” you whispered, biting your lower lip as both of your eyes stayed locked on each other.

“um, i should probably get going,” hannah laughed, making your eyes snap towards the brown haired girl, but you stayed in your position with jeff nonetheless.

“we still gonna go eat lunch tomorrow?” you asked, a small smile spreading across your plump lips. she nodded, “for sure, just text me when you wanna go.”

your eyes lit up, “absolutely,” you said, feeling jeff’s hands slowly make their way up and down the small of your back, rubbing you softly. you leaned your head down against his chest, still staring at hannah as she turned to leave.

“have fun you two!” she yelled, making her way out of the school. it was truly a blessing that there wasn’t a lot of kids left in the halls, most of them leaving as soon as the bell rung.

“you need anything in your locker?” you heard jeff mumble, then you felt him lightly kiss the top of your head.

you nodded, “yeah, come on,” you said, feeling your chest tighten as you pulled out of his strong embrace. he grabbed your small hand in his rather large one, walking towards your locker with you right on his heel.

“you still have practice?” you questioned, knowing you would have to walk home alone.

jeff sighed, “yeah, we didn’t have practice on wednesday so coach is making us practice today.”

you pouted, “that sucks, i wanted you to come over,” you said, stopping right in front of your locker, then quickly focusing on opening it. you sucked at opening your locker, usually jeff or hannah doing it for you since you always messed up the combination.

you felt jeff’s eyes on you, watching you struggle, but you were determined to open it this time on your own.

it took you a good three tries, before finally hearing the lock click as you swung your locker door open. “finally!” you huffed, rolling your eyes. you heard jeff’s deep chuckle, making your eyes snap up towards the jock. “what?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing in question.

he shook his head, “nothing, nothing. you’re just so adorable,” he said softly, giving you a toothy smile. you blushed, turning your head back towards your locker and getting the book you would need to do your homework over the weekend.

“you’re handsome,” you spoke softly, almost mumbling. you were always shy around jeff, but he didn’t mind. in fact, that was one of his favorite things about you, besides your laugh. your little laugh drove him insane, always making him laugh with you even if nothing was funny.

you tensed up slightly, feeling your boyfriend move behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. jeff leaned down, placing a small, but gentle kiss against your sweet spot. you ran your tongue over your lips, tilting your head to the side, your eyes fluttering close.

“i’m going to be so late to practice,” he breathed against your neck, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he started harshly sucking on your sweet spot.

your eyes snapped open, before you relaxed your entire body, causing your full body weight to lean against jeff.

a soft, little moan escaped your wet lips, jeff’s arms traveling to your stomach, lifting up your shirt and gently letting his fingers stroke over your stomach.

this instantly caused you to release a small giggle, your body squirming against him. he laughed too, giving your neck a final kiss before pulling away, as if nothing ever happened.

you looked around nervously, not seeing anyone besides you and jeff, which you were thankful for.

you turned to look back at your boyfriend, noticing his eyes already on you with a small, cheeky smirk on his lips.

you avoided eye contact with him, feeling your face heat up. “you shouldn’t have done that,” you huffed, trying your hardest to look annoyed.

jeff laughed loudly, his laugh echoing throughout the hallway. “you’re so stubborn love,” jeff teased, while looking down at you with twinkling blue eyes.

you glared at him, “how am i stubborn?”

“well,” he started, “the fact that you’re so stubborn about me giving you a hickey because of your supposed ‘shyness’ for people seeing it makes you stubborn,” he stated, his tone sounding smart.

you felt yourself tense, a small frown appearing on your face. you couldn’t hold it in, you started rambling uncontrollably. “look, jeff, it’s not that i don’t want you to give me hickeys, it’s just that i don’t want people seeing it and then later on thinking all we do is-”

jeff suddenly cut you off, his lips pressed roughly against yours. you kissed him back, putting as much passion into the kiss. you felt jeff’s tongue swipe across your bottom lip, almost begging to invade your sweet, little mouth.

you opened your mouth slightly, both of your tongues swirling around one another’s, searching each other’s mouths. you moaned, letting the thick textbook that you had in your hand drop to the floor, making a loud sound as the book hit the floor.

you jumped, gasping as jeff pulled away, his eyes swimming with lust and most importantly, love.

“you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s opinions,” he whispered, his lips wet with your saliva. “it’s just you and me baby,” he continued, staring you dead in the eyes.

your heart melted, a small smile spreading across your lips. “i love you,” you whispered, your hands making their way up his chest, then moving towards his shoulders, gripping them tightly.

jeff smiled, “i love you most.”

♡ ♡ ♡

this is my first imagine for this blog, and there will be plenty more to come! also, please be patient, i have over 25 requests that i need to do, and all will be up asap! thank you!

anonymous asked:

c h u b b y ! d a n

*warning; sexual harassment related themes*

+ Dan’s been acting strange all day, but still insists he’s fine and everything’s normal.

+ He keeps staring off into space and Phil has to wave his hand in front of his face several times to get his attention. Finally Phil just slams him against the wall, pinning him there by his wrists.

+ “Dan, what’s going on with you?” He asks, figuring that must have gotten his boyfriend’s attention. Dan sighs, blushing.

+ “You know how I’ve been getting a bit… chubbier?” He asks. Phil nods. He’s more than aware; Dan’s stomach and thighs have been getting more cuddly and he loves it.

+ “Yes…?” He asks, narrowing his eyes. “Do you not like it? Because I’ve told you, your body is-”

+ “No, no, it’s not that,” Dan interrupts him, searching Phil’s eyes and chewing on his lip. “I’ve been getting these… comments.”

+ “Are people being rude? I swear I’ll-”

+ “No, Phil. Most of them aren’t mean… they’re…” Dan trails off, his gaze falling too his feet. “Just let me show you.”

+ Phil lets Dan lead him to his room, sitting on the bed as Dan leans over the desk, opening his laptop.

+ “They’re a bit…” he pauses, his face tinting pink. “Dirty,” he mumbles.

+ “Excuse me?” Phil stands up, moving to the desk to look at his screen, and Dan steps aside.

+ The first thing he sees is a comment saying, “fuck i wanna eat him out. i want my head between those chubby thighs, damn” and a bunch of people agreeing.

+ Phil’s seething. He crosses his arms, facing his boyfriend, who’s blushing and avoiding his gaze.

+ “Read them.”

+ Dan stares at him. “What?”

+ “I said, read them.” Phil raised an eyebrow. “Read them to me.”

+ Dan slowly approached the computer, watching Phil nervously as his eyes scanned the words.

+ “I-I want to…” he stuttered, licking his lips and glancing at Phil. Phil nodded for him to continue. “I want to go down on him s-so bad… and k-kiss him all over… he looks so much better with a little bit of fat…”

+ Phil silently dropped to his knees in front of Dan. “Keep going,” he muttered, tugging at his zipper.

+ “He’s so fucking sexy now, I’m so jealous of his boyfriend. I’d love to f-fuck him until he screamed…” Dan read, biting his lip, and Phil scowled, tugging down his zipper roughly.

+ “I w-would leave marks all over those pale thighs, m-make him look so pretty, all covered with my…” Dan flinched. “…my cum…”

+ “Block whoever said that one,” Phil growled, tugging Dan’s jeans down his hips and mouthing him through his boxers.

+ Dan gasped sharply, squirming automatically, but Phil grabbed his thigh tightly and held him still.

+ “Keep reading, princess.”

+ “I…” Dan started, his breath hitching. “Phil, I can’t-”

+ “Keep reading,” Phil repeated, digging his nails into Dan’s soft skin, his voice a sort of low sickly sweet growl that had Dan shivering.

+ “Yes s-sir,” Dan mumbled, moaning softly as Phil pulled his boxers down, licking a long stripe up his thigh. “I d-don’t even know who he is, but I… if I met him in a bar I would take him home, no doubt.”

+ Dan paused to whimper as Phil nipped at the sensitive place on his inner thigh, and god he was so close to the place Dan wanted him to be.

+ “I’d fucking tie that slut down and-”

+ Phil had heard enough; he pushed Dan back on his bed, moving his legs so they were wrapped around his head. He bit at Dan’s sensitive skin gently, humming when Dan moaned from above him, reaching down to tangle his fingers in Phil’s hair.

+ Dan arched his back, whining as Phil took all of him to the back of his throat, bobbing his head expertly. He knew Dan this way, only him. Only he knew all the ways to get him screaming so loud the neighbors could hear.

+ “Mine,” Phil whispered, digging his nails into a particularly chubby part of Dan’s thigh, brushing his fingertips up his stomach. “My pretty chubby baby, all mine.”

+ Dan nodded, whimpering and trying to keep himself from thrusting into Phil’s mouth. “Yes, daddy. Please- all yours.”

+ And right then, they both knew it. No one else even stood a chance.

ToG Valentine's Day Greeting Cards!
  • Manon: I want to eat your heart out.
  • Dorian: Let me give you a magic hand this Valentine's Day.
  • Chaol: I'm Chaol Westfallin for you.
  • Aelin: Let me be your fireheart.
  • Rowan: I've got a big hawk for you this Valentine's Day.
  • Asterin: I wanna be UNCLEAN with you.
  • Lorcan: I'm Hellas over heels for you.
  • Elide: You make me weak in the ankles, Valentine.
  • Maeve: I love you so much I could lock you in an iron box and throw away the key.
  • Nehemiah: I'd die for you, Valentine.
  • Aedion: I want to pillage your village.
  • Fenrys: I'd take a blood oath for you, Valentine.
  • Gavriel: I'd be lion if I said I wasn't into you.
  • Lysandra: I'll be whatever you want this Valentine's Day. No seriously. I can literally be whatever you want.
  • Erawan: I wanna implant you this Valgentine's Day.
  • Sam: It's torture just thinking of you.
  • Rolfe: I'd let you ride my Sea Dragon.
  • [thanks to @hermajestymanon and @itach-I for helping me with this]
A Dire Wolf Named Fluffy

Context: I’m DM-ing a homebrew campaign and the party’s half-elf rogue decided to wander through a forest full of wolves by herself.

Me: As you walk through the forest, you hear rustling on your left and right.

Rogue: I wanna keep going.

Me: O-okay, you take a couple of steps and then two wolves leap out at you from either side.

Rogue: *proceeds to one-shot one of the wolves*

Me: As you slash the wolf it lets out a howl of pain, alerting a nearby dire wolf to your presence.

Rogue OOC: *after taking out the other wolf* I wanna tame the dire wolf!

Me: You want to what now!?

Rogue OOC: I throw a piece of meat at the dire wolf. If I feed it, it’ll like me and we can be friends.

Me: You’d have to roll very high to befriend this guy.

Rogue: *rolls nat 20*

Me: OH COME ON! You know what? Fine! The dire wolf, FOR SOME REASON, decides that you THROWING MEAT AT HIM is a good enough reason to eat it and follow you around for the foreseeable future. But I’m making you train him and feed him three rations a day and if you can’t feed him, he’s gonna try and eat you or your party members.

Rogue: I name him Fluffy.

*the other members of the party were not pleased with the new companion that they had to feed*

Hiveswap Teaser #2 Analysis

So, first of all, HYPE. Although I never stopped being Hyped but. MORE HYPE. Before I start talking at all about the teaser trailer, I gotta say, I’m glad WP are taking their time refining and bug-fixing to make a great game for us to enjoy, and knowing how far along it is and how close the release date might be, we’ll wait to see how it comes out!

Okay so the teaser, first we start with what seems like Joey peeping into the attic of the house through a hole. That already makes me feel we’ll get the little tease of knowing where to go but forbidding us from seeing what’s behind the cool curtain until we find the key that opens the door there.

There are a LOT of guns, some sarcophagus, tons of horse imagery, statues in the background, mirrors, Jake sure loves tossing stuff he finds during his adventures around the house! The multitude of items frame the centerpiece of the portal quite well, and the eerie glow gives-

Wait.

Okay, wait, what the FUCK JAKE.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SEEING?

WHERE THE HELL DID JAKE GET THE CLOCK?!

We start /well/ if this is the kind of shenanigans Hiveswap has prepared for us, oh my god. This means that by this point in the timeline, Jake had access to SBURB stuff, though, so that’s an interesting thing to have in mind.

The camera zooms on the portal, and then Joey appears, reaching over to expose it, before cutting to the title. Hiveswap.

Can I say, I’m really glad about the direction they took with the 2D stuff. Everything looks so good, Joey’s expressions and movement are so sweet. I love her already.

The next scene cuts to Jude using a flare gun (Which we see later in his inventory) likely to warn Joey or to use it as a distraction somewhere else? The pile of leaves right under the window makes me think he’ll have to hop right off the window and into it in the future. There’s also a fountain on the wall that looks like a Lich, further confirming Jake’s already gone hunting to the Medium by this point. Also, the sky, the clouds, the background, looks absolutely GORGEOUS.

Then the flare lands in front of the house, and here we can see a few things. First of all, the statue. Of course. And also, I bet Jude cut the bushes to look like Nessie because he’s a cryptid fan. However, there’s a thing I just realised. I don’t know if this was a detail in the prior trailer or not but…

Doesn’t the house look just… Not taken care of? The previews of the inside, all the stuff just thrown everywhere, I assumed Jake was just kinda like that, messy. But the look of the house on the outside, with the broken pillars and the vegetation growing everywhere. The broken glass is likely from the monsters, but otherwise…

Jake. How long have you left those two poor kids alone? Not to say, wherever ‘Hauntswich’ is, there doesn’t seem to be a soul ANYWHERE in the surrounding area except for their creepy neighbours.

Next, Joey is crawling through the vents, either to get in or escape from some monsters, and while happy, soon the vents shake and her expression shifts. The way her expression dynamically changes like that, I love it, makes me think a lot about some Homestuck panels. That being said, either the vent is shaky, there’s something BIG and lumbering down the halls of the manor, or the damage to the house is more extensive than it appears.

Then, oh boy the UI looks neat! Worried Joey wanders the halls of her basement, I presume. The X at the top-left might be to make the UI disappear, or perhaps a quick quit to the game? Options on the top-right, help… Then, the inventory seems managed with Captcha Cards, of course. Easy to access and drag around to combine with stuff. Then there’s her battle… Stances? Weapons? There’s what seems like a ‘stomp’, her normal shoes. Then ballerina shoes, and her flashlight.

This makes me wonder how the combat system is. Furthermore- Joey seems to have the shoe selected! What’s that for? Maybe to hint that’s what you want to do in a sneak attack? Or is it not the weapons, and just something more like her ‘stance’? But if it was her stance, wouldn’t the flashlight be the one chosen right now? We’ll see how that works.

Of course, more to the right, there’s the character… Selector? Right now we have Joey, and you can talk with your Jude with a Walkie-Talkie. Straight-forward enough.

Also Jake, please.

Jude’s side of things isn’t looking too hot. That mansion looks fucking MASSIVE. It looks more like a village, but everything’s too… Bunched up together for that to be the case. Lumbering shadows, just there. Staring. The view is amazing, but very, very eerie. Here we see he only has a flare gun- Which we see him using earlier. Again, straight-forward enough.

Now is when things start getting interesting.

First of all, the new design of the Cherub Key is amazing. Cherub Teeth are the fangs, with the Calliope-Caliborn spiral in the middle, and the snakes coiling up. But also-

IT’S ALIVE? JESUS THAT’S CREEPY.

Creepiness aside, I like this much, much more. The one preview we had when it was still 3D had Joey actually reaching in to turn it on herself, just out of pure curiosity. In this situation, however? She’s being /dragged/ by the key, forced to open the portal, not by her own volition. This makes much more sense narrative-wise, and also makes me wonder if the key itself is a Juju. The lollipop forced Jane to lick it after all, and Jake has the CLOCK, so a Juju key with a Juju teleporter? Yeah, that fits.

The cherub snake-beams activate and… Okay, while the glow of the energy is red on the Caliborn snake and green on the Calliope one, both the eyes AND the sparks around the energy are green on both sides. Maybe the teleporter uses First Guardian energy in some capacity?

Finally, we switch to the Trolls! Xefros is a cutie, and that’s some RADICAL VIOLET BLOOD riding a… Bronze grub. That sure’s a way to promote the drink. Anyone can decypher what the can says?

Then we have a first GOOD look at Xefros’ Hive! There’s a picture of the Sloth Lusus, Xefros and Dammek. Cute. Also there’s a tree going through the entire top, maybe his hive is like Terezi’s? It could be, his Lusus IS a Sloth, and Joey switches with Dammek, so it’d make sense Dammek is the one with the more urban hive.

We see an Alternian Phone, some videogame, with HEXAGONAL DISCS. I don’t care if it’s more bug-like, that’s so incredibly inconvenient and asinine, Hussie, What Pumpkin. >:V Then of course, theres Trizza broadcasting her memes permanently on the TV, and the first look at Xefros’ weapon of choice! Which seems to be a… Cricket bat? Cool.

Then Xefros slams the can of soda against his forehead to crush it. Nice.

This is a lovely look at the urban look of Alternia. It’s curious, Trolls are nocturnal so I expected to see more activity at night. Then again, Drones have been taking Trolls to cull, so it’d make sense if they’re all hiding.

ALSO DAMMEK’S LUSUS! They’re riding it around :D Likely going from Dammek’s place and towards Xefros’ if he does live in a tree-Hive. The background of the Alternian Landscape is absolutely haunting.

We have a VS Screen! Not only that, but Joey’s reaction to each enemy and situation seems to vary from one to the next. That’s a nice touch.

Joey, you’re being unnecessarily extra. That’s Jude’s pigeon though, and the bat monster seems surprised by Joey’s dramatic entrance!

Okay so, the thing at the bottom seems like it’s maybe the battle system? The right arrow points at Joey, so maybe it’s her turn and when it’s the monster’s it points left. Then the three spikes at the top might expand into something like. Abscond, Abjure, Aggrieve? Again, I have no idea how the system will work. Also, the bat seems confused and bouncing around. It’s hard to tell if this is RIGHT after the Vs Screen, and being surprised made it flip the fuck out, or if Joey did something that confused it and made it bounce around.

The state of the kitchen really drives home the fact Jake has been an absent father for a VERY LONG TIME. Have they just been ordering noodles to eat all this time? I can see some adorable pictures on the fridge.

There she goes. What do you wanna bet that in Hauntswitch Act 1 we get a scene exactly like this but with Dammek’s silhouette going down the red shaft?

Me too, Joey. Me too.

Finally, “The door is nearly open” seems like a reference to the little line on the Hiveswap page: “First thing’s first. You need to open the door.”

Conclusion: I NEED THIS GAME NOW. Patiently waiting for it to come out, still very hype.

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #34
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Dan:</b> do you wanna make out?<p/><b>Phil:</b> sure-<p/><b>Dan:</b> cornflakes<p/></p><p/></p>