i wanna do some drugs


update: he listens to evanescence and justin bieber and linkin park bye

update 2:  “i want to do some drugs like lsd, and mashrooms. i wanna go to like england. i wanna like make a big purchase like a house. i wanna like what else do i wanna do. i wanna have a 3 sum ive always wanted to do that. i never will though.  i really wanna try LSD.”  what did i do to deserve this

udpate 3: he called me HUN abort

update 4:  “are u a virgin? im curious”   LMAO BYE BUDDY

update 5: “n im not. i did it when i was 15. i havent done it since because i looked good when i was 15. not anymore  but i really have a 3 sum .but i cant.. especially if i cant get one girl.”   KEEP LOOKIN BUDDY LMAO !!!

update 6: how does he not get that i am not interested. he keeps sending emojis and shit and i’m just like “lmao ok”.  i literally just said all the guys in my town are gross and he’s  “even me *wink emoji*”  lIKE YES ESPECIALLY U LMAO M8

update 7: “i like white girls. with like really big boobs. brown hair. good smile. a little chubby. i dont want a girl thats skin and bones i love big tits i don’t care about ass” that’s great i literally did not ask

update 8: “what turns you on”  nO  T THIS CONVERSATION LMAO !!

update 9: “n im sorry. im just a little hor g. im sorry.     horny*” good for u bub there’s literally porn everywhere on the internet go on

She smoked salvia
And asked me to fuck her.
She wanted to be out of her mind
In my arms.

You sometimes have out of body experiences
So you frequently ask,
“How here are you right now?”
“I’m always here, too here,
Too in it.”
Please help me out of it.
I know you sometimes feel
Like a grandmother looking back
At the moments in your life.
I know you don’t take it too seriously,
Because when Timothy “Speed” Levitch said,
"As one realizes that one is a dream-character
In in another person’s dream
THAT is self-awareness”
You winked.

She studies what she studies, It never concerns me.
She has small beautiful tits,
That inspire me to use words like “tits”.
Her hair is light brown or dark blonde.
She has many other friends.
She smiles a lot
And jokingly rides inanimate objects.
Wildly individualistic
She is not someone to warm up with
But someone who sparks a wild fire
Every time her jungle path crosses into my woods.
The type to fall in wildly in love with,
But never be sure of reciprocation.
I would not be surprised of indelity.
She makes me sound drunk
When I describe her to others.
She sometimes makes me feel like Charles Bukowski,
But in a good way.
I loved her in a very real way,
It felt healthy.
I knew the entire time
That she was a figure of my imagination.
I’ll never meet her.
When I see her again she will be different,
Like every person I meet in my pineal gland.

You are a home.
I lose track of time well,
When I’m with you
I could lay with you through ages.
I wonder if ever you will seep
Into my dreams the way she appeared.
You wouldn’t like eachother.
The first time I kissed you,
You said it was like bungee jumping,
I agreed:
The only consequence being whiplash.
What’re you doing tonight?
I’ve got some stuff I wanna try.
No not drugs. I’ve tried those before,
They’re fun,
But not like dancing,
Not like a view you have to pay for,
But refuse to.
Not like being drunk on pheromones.
I wanna try something I’m not used to.
Something new to you too
I know you like reading
Have you tried braille?
I’ve got a lot of scars
And I need someone to tell me
If I’m a novel
Or just a collection of poems.
We’ll need a warm dark room
But not too dark to see eachothers
(Funny how different we look in the shadows)
And not too warm
That we don’t kneed covers
I imagine we’ll strip our clothes
And just stare at eachother,
Smile for a while.
Until both of us are comfortable
And ready to start reading.
You’re as fine as the mountains
Through my grandfather’s telescope
And as beautiful as the family climbing it,
Waving back.

Heartline goes slack,
When I kiss and there’s no kiss back.
Like bungee jumping,
Waiting for a snap.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed:
The idea of completeness
Consumes me like there’s an endgoal.
I damage my ears,
Music too loud,
Trying to hear,
The sound of not thinking.
I wonder if I will ever think without words again.
I need candles
To stare into the black of the flame
In pursuit of pure thoughts.
Blood and whiskers
Those goddamn wishers
Don’t get how a wish hurts.
Blowing out prospective emptiness
In birthday chances at pure thoughts.
I wasn’t allergic to cats
Until I’d passed around the sun
Enough times
To know I could never call a feline home.
Where’s my wolf
I need a biter,
Maybe I’m the fighter.
Maybe we’ll win,
Maybe we’ll lose,
I hope I don’t have to choose.
But I’m feeling like a I need her back.

—  “She is the woman of my dreams, you are the woman I dream of waking up to”, Spencer Hitchcock.