i wanna be a panda

Kung Fu Panda AU

I’m going to preface this appropriately with an apology

  • Po: Lance (because dude come on)
  • Tigress: Keith (angry ball of training dedication and hard work who immediately is pissed at Lance’s goofing off and lack of training, goes off on his own to fight Zarkon, lowkey just wants validation)
  • Mantis: Pidge (jokes at Lance’s expense, that hilarious acupuncture scene, is the smallest, best friends with Hunk)
  • Viper: Allura (highkey the prettiest, poisonous, talks to Lance even though he’s disgracing Kung Fu by existing, chokes Zarkon out)
  • Monkey: Hunk (hides his almond cookies on the top shelf, is Pidge’s best friend, takes a baby to find it’s parent when they’re evacuating the village okay, is a fierce angel, goes down first against Zarkon-, is as precious as Jackie Chan)
  • Crane: Shiro (Gets confronted by an awkward Lance, doesn’t know how to handle fans, tries to be nice, drags Lance away when he worries about Coran)
  • Master Oogway: Alfor (wise old man, fucking dies, never stops laying down the wisdom)
  • Tai’Lung: Zarkon (self explanatory, huge asshole with darkness in his heart)
  • Master Shifu: Coran (mentor to everyone, taught Zarkon, made some mistakes, is haunted by them but eventually sees the potential in Lance rightfully and takes him under his wing, but also loves fucking with Lance so-)

OKAY SO LETS LAY IT OUT

Keep reading

  • Tyler: Is it fun to...suck dick?
  • Panda: Well you did ask all those cucumber questions
  • Tyler: Dude I just like cucumbers man!
  • Tyler: They're cool! They're like...they're so fuckin big and weird...lumpy
  • Panda: But every question you had was if you could sit on them
  • Tyler: I wanna know what it's like, dude, I've never done it!
  • Panda: Try it out!
  • Panda: Don't ask the fans, just...demonstrate it for them
  • Tyler: I'm gonna try it out, I'm gonna try it out.
starters based on stuff i've said/thought
  • "nothing sexier than a guy in a target uniform"
  • "these falsies were a terrible idea"
  • "you can't just replace pandas with more pandas and think everything will be fine."
  • "i wanna work as a panda. they can give me a suit. wait will there be wifi in the suit?"
  • "well that's... not good--"
  • "holy shit... cat satan..."
  • "i'm gonna fart"
  • "bitch, eat faster. *makes whip noises*"
  • "what the fuck it's leaking on me"
  • "i'm just really confused"
  • "okay but listen, did you see the baby cheshire cat? the cheshire kitten."
  • "all hail hot dad."
  • "i'm weak. i'm so weak."
  • "look at his jawline."
  • "anyway i'm perfect."
  • "HOLY FUCKING GRANDMA ON A STICK."
  • "once i hugged him and his hipbone hit me in the boob."

Filler art tonight as I work on other stuff.

So the Matsuno bros all have official animal counterparts(Red panda, tiger, ram/sheep, cat, dog, bunny in order) and I got bored and drew Osomatsu and Totty’s ones. 
Red Panda is adorable for Oso and I wanna argue the rabbit for Totty, but it makes sense. 

Dunno if I should draw the other bros.