i wake up and i'm empty

  • Talyn wakes up to find an empty space on the bed
  • Talyn: *shakes Joan awake* it's your turn
  • Joan: *groggily pushes themselves off the bed* alright, alright
  • Joan: *finds Thomas in the living room* hey, buddy. What are you doing up?
  • Thomas: *walking around, half asleep* gotta...I gotta remind people I'm gay.
  • Joan: *coaxes him back to bed* trust me, Thomas. They know.
  • Thomas: what if they forgot.
  • Joan: then you can remind them tomorrow.
  • Thomas: *lets himself be lead back to bed*
  • Thomas: Talyn, people remember I'm gay, right?
  • Talyn: of course Thomas.
  • Thomas: mmkay. *finally goes back to sleep*
I always see the best in people. I hope for the best, and I always look for that little bit of good, that potential, and I wait for it to blossom. You want them to feel good being a man, but now men are afraid to be men. They think being a real man is actually being a pussy, that if you take a chair out for a lady, or you’re nice or even affectionate to your girl in front of your boys, you’re less of a man. It’s so sick. They won’t be a gentleman because that makes them appear soft. That’s what we’re dealing with now, a hundred percent, and girls are settling for that, but I won’t. I will wait forever if I have to … but that’s ok. You have to be screwed over enough times to know, but now I’m hoping for more than these guys can actually give. 
That’s why I haven’t been having sex or even really seeing anybody, because I don’t want to wake up the next day feeling guilty. I mean I get horny, I’m human, I’m a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do—just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow? He has a great story and I’m like… what am I doing? I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.
Waking In Empty Spaces

In a brief moment of quiet in between scientists with a hundred questions each, he pinched the bridge of his nose in attempt to stem the snaps of pain firing in his head.  It had been a long day, quite possibly the longest he’d experienced since accepting the position as head of Hawkins Lab.  First the failed experiment, then the threat of the soaked and thrashing child, and finally the hailstorm of questions and the unyielding eyes of the disaster he was in charge of.  It was nighttime now and Dr. Brenner was aching from exhaustion and the urge to toss off the panic of the day and drive straight home through the darkness, but at a time like this he supposed that closing time didn’t mean much of anything.

Eventually his coworkers would calm down and assume that the girl had simply imagined it, although Brenner would never tell them that he was certain that wasn’t the case.  He knew 011, or at least knew all the details of her day-to-day life, and he couldn’t see how a mind so tightly contained could envision something not only unheard of within the lab but also nonexistent in the world surrounding it.  He had questioned 011 thoroughly and the process had been harrowing- she was inconsolable when she rose out of the water and after the tears stopped she locked up and hours of prodding and persuading and threatening reaped weak results.  From her broken sentences Brenner’s colleagues constructed their own ideas as to what 011 had seen.  All the ideas boiled into one solid consensus: whatever 011 had come across was nothing like any of them had ever seen before.

They were calling it a monster.  When the first of the scientists used the term in front of Brenner, he just blinked at him.  He didn’t want to rush to label the unknown creature as something it wasn’t.  Until they knew more about whatever it was, he refused to grant it such a dramatic title.  But the only way to make a name for it was-

“Dr. Brenner?  You’re wanted down in Inmate Security,”  The assistant intruding on his one moment of peace was much more welcome than the scientists still pulling for answers he didn’t have, but when he realized what her words could mean…

“I’ll go there now,” he answered curtly, slipping out the door and cutting across the hallway to a small room with one small television screen.  The screen was surrounded by three assistants that Brenner knew would be virtually useless- especially when he heard the wails emanating from the speakers.  The other scientists were afraid to touch the girl.  Some of them were scared off by the sheer power she possessed and the others that had met fatal ends because of it while others saw it as a matter of conscience.  They saw her as a child, one that needed a mother and a home outside the lab.  But they didn’t know 011 like he did.  They didn’t see the potential she had.  

And from the piercing cries coming from the monitor, Brenner’s coworkers wouldn’t be seeing any such potential.  The girl was twelve now and almost a teenager, but unlike most teenagers she was bleeding raw fear instead of staunching the flow from the eyes of adults.  Her voice wailed through the speakers, a choked and repetitive sob: “Papa!  Papa!”

Brenner loosened his shirt collar.  This was something he’d be expected to deal with before it got out of hand.  “I’ll go see her now,”  He’d long since learned that comforting and reassuring 011 was necessary from time to time, but it had taken a long time to get used to it.  He was used to compartmentalizing, and his job required a clear mind that didn’t let emotions get through- he saved them for home.  Saved them for his wife and children.  But now he knew that he’d half to share some of them with their experiment.  Humans, even the most forsaken forms of them, needed love like a plant needed sunlight or an creek needed rain.  Without it, they’d dry up and wither away into nothingness.  And 011 had too much potential for that kind of end.

The door to her room buzzed open and he entered, the sight before him more pathetic than he could have anticipated.  Her knees hunched so close to her chest he wondered if they’d break straight through her sternum and her eyes practically glowed against the darkness with their tears.  “011,” he began.

“Papa,” Her arms detached from their clenched position and extended towards him like the thinnest branches of an olive tree.

He sat at the foot of the bed and her arms lowered.  “011, it’s very late at night.  It’s all dark outside,”

011 responded with a frantic nod.  “Dark,”

She had once told him that her mental void was dark.  An unrelenting blackness that she hated and would resist if she thought resistance would change anything.  Whatever she had seen earlier, it was still hanging over her in her dim surroundings.  Whatever she had seen was something horrifying, something that shot through her legs and forced her to flee in fear.  But with her limited knowledge on what she could have possibly encountered, the discovery of the quote unquote monster was useless.

“Nothing can hurt you here, 011,” he told her.  “Nothing can come in unless-” He gestured up at the ever-present camera guarding her.  “-surveillance lets them in.  You’ll be safe if you’re quiet and go straight to sleep,”

She didn’t look convinced.  She pointed a finger up to the ceiling.  “Can I have the lights?”

“Your lights come on during the daytime,” he explained slowly.  “It uses up lots of money to keep them on all the time.  Do you understand?”

If she didn’t understand the concept of money, she seemed to at least understand that she would not be getting any lights.  “Stay?”

Brenner fought back a wince.  He couldn’t afford to stay, not with a wife anxiously checking the clock back  home.  The longer he spent at the lab, the tougher it would be to come up with a decent and non frightening excuse.  But as he looked into the wide brown eyes before him, he realized he was going to have to make a sacrifice.  After all, they would need to see exactly what 011 had come across.  

She would need to go back.

“011, do you think you could go back to the bath later?”

She froze, eyes narrowing.  It wasn’t aggressive- she knew better than to go against Brenner.  He’d given her just enough love to render her powers worthless against him.  The others were simply faceless people milling around her, but he was important with a name and a gift behind his back.  She would not hurt him.

But here, she had to be careful.  After long last, the word slipped out.  “When?”

“Not tomorrow, but soon,”

011 swallowed hard.  “The monster?”

Brenner silently cursed his assistants for running their mouthes in front of her.  “It isn’t a monster, 011.  But we need you to see it again so we can know for sure.”

Her eyes were welling with tears but none spilled over.

“I will stay with you 011.  I’ll stay if you will go back to the bath.  You’ll go back and find it again.  And this time-”  011 practically flinched against the mention of it. “-you can not run away.  Is that okay?”

She angled her head up to the deadened lights, the sharp lines of the ceiling blurred by the darkness.  In a whisper he almost didn’t catch, she murmured, “Okay.”

The rest was simple.  He pulled the sheet up to her chin.  He sat still and met her eyes whenever they flew open in fear.  He waited until her breathing evened and the grip on her tattered stuffed lion eased up.  And when his own eyelids grew heavy watching the sleeping child, he stood, made his silent way towards the door, and took 011’s promise with him as he left.


@ask-the-deadman @waffleleven @theamiableanachronism @richieandthevoices

Here’s what nobody told Jeremy: sometimes you hurt the ones you love, and there’s no way to fix it.

After the play, after he lays in a hospital bed and apologizes to Michael over and over, they start to rebuild. They learn to recognize the scars the squip left behind and find ways to help each other heal. Michael eventually tells him about what happened in the bathroom. Jeremy spends all his time orbiting Michael, making his amends in every way he can. They end up kissing under the mistletoe on Christmas Eve, and from there it’s easy to wear their matching backpacks with pride.

“You can stop apologizing, you know,” Michael tells him one day, weeks into their spring semester. “I forgave you a long time ago.”

“Sorry,” Jeremy says, because it’s the only word he can seem to say some days.

There are times when Jeremy can’t believe Michael is his to keep, that they miraculously love each other despite all that’s happened. There are times when he feels like he doesn’t deserve it, when he’s so sure Michael will just leave.

Then Michael will lean against his shoulder and kiss his hair, tell Jeremy how much he loves him, and then the doubt will ebb away. They’re in love. They’ll be okay.

-

Here’s what nobody told Michael: sometimes you choose to forgive someone and your heart won’t follow suit, no matter how hard you try.

After high school, after they become roommates in college and have spent years as a unit, Michael still feels the disconnect between them. He knows what every inch of Jeremy’s skin tastes like and he knows Jeremy loves him more than anything else in the world, but the ugly scars from junior year are still there. Sometimes Jeremy forgets to text Michael back, or Michael makes a self-deprecating remark at which Jeremy goes pale, and then all the hurt and anger and regret comes roaring back between them.

“It’s okay,” Jeremy says, because when he’s not apologizing he’s trying to give Michael more of his heart to break apart. “You don’t have to forgive me.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael says, because he’s so tired of Jeremy trying to make things right, because it’s not Jeremy’s fault. He doesn’t think this is a wound that will ever stop festering away under his skin.

There are times when Michael wonders if he doesn’t deserve to keep Jeremy, if their love is too sharp and too deep for them to survive. There are times when he thinks Jeremy deserves better than someone who can’t get over ancient history, that maybe Jeremy should just leave.

Then Jeremy will hold Michael tight and kiss his neck, tell Michael that he loves him, and the doubt won’t ebb away but he holds on with both hands. They’re in love. They’re not okay, but he can’t let go.

-

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy says, and he’s never going to stop apologizing for that one semester, that one Halloween. He’s so tired of being the one who hurt Michael.

“I’m sorry,” Michael says, and he’s never going to be okay with that one semester, that one Halloween. He’s so tired of being the one who makes Jeremy apologize.

-

It’s been years and the wounds are still festering, and Michael loves Jeremy too much to let him spend the rest of his life trying to atone for his mistakes.

“I think,” he says, weary and heartbroken, “we’re ruining each other.”

It’s been years and the scars are still raw, and Jeremy loves Michael too much to ever say no to him, even in this.

“I’m sorry,” he says, defeated and miserable. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

-

Later, in the morning when Michael wakes up in a too empty bed, he’ll hate himself for having made Jeremy apologize one last time, for having lost the love of his life to one mistake that they’ve tried so hard to fix. He’ll hate himself for still knowing he’ll never stop loving Jeremy anyway.

(Miles away, Jeremy surrenders to the voice in his head and drinks an entire bottle of green soda.)

-

Here’s what nobody told them: sometimes love just isn’t enough.

I don’t think I’m going to die. I think I’m going to fade. Every day I’ll wake up and I’ll matter a little bit less. Everyone will forget one more thing about me. And eventually, I won’t even be there anymore. I’ll just be the empty seat, in the back, by the window, and people won’t question why there’s no one there, because they won’t remember me ever being there in the first place.
—  Journal Entry; Fall 2013
Because I'm A Foolish Woman (Feat. BTS)
Kan Mi Youn
Because I'm A Foolish Woman (Feat. BTS)

songs featuring predebut bts 1 2

namjoon’s verse: “I’d rather you curse at me instead of looking away, that way I can hold on to you. isn’t the aftermath of our fights difficult for our foolish selves? even if I call for you every night in the drifting void, only an empty echo is left. even if I cry, my aching heart feels like it’s going to explode. it’s okay. like the cold dawn air, pass by me. like the me who left you said, leave my dizzy mind. now I’ll calmly wake up from this dream called ‘you’. I ask that you let me be born again so that I can resign myself and stop thinking about you.”

Four Word

@stylishmuser asked for “I really need you” . Thank you so much for asking love! And thank you so much for @fuckzarry for being my beta reader! I love you both very much a lot.

There’s a lot drama here:


Sometimes it was all too much. And this time, you couldn’t handle anymore.

Being Harry’s significant other was never an easy task, but sometimes it was too much. Specially because despite all the hype and all the things that people said about him, at the end of the day he was a real-life human. He had feelings, and sometimes he messed up.

One of the hardest things ever was see other women’s name linked to him in headlines in different sites all over the internet: The cheating rumours, the break up rumours, the “He’s not so interested in her anymore” rumours… it was a huge variety of subjects that people came up with and for you to deal.

Alone.

What people didn’t know – and you would never tell – is that Harry wasn’t that perfect boyfriend that everyone talks and dreams with. Not because he didn’t want to, of course, but just because he couldn’t. Sometimes he didn’t have time to have a proper meal in the middle of a rush day, running from one place to another, and then to another, flying oceans to be in different places in the space of 10 hours.  

Sometimes days went by without you and him talking on the phone or answering each other’s text, and the only way for you to listen to his voice was listening to his songs, or maybe watching the interviews and concert’s videos on twitter timeline.

Sometimes your boyfriend was a completely strange to you.

Sometimes you thought that you couldn’t handle it.

This time you were sure about that.

Your hands were shaking and you weren’t sure about how you would say this to him. Harry came to your home for a night only, since he was flying back on the next morning. You could hear the water run in the bathroom, while he was quietly having a shower.

You rehearsed the words repeatedly, but you couldn’t ever find an easy way do to it. Since the first time you met him, you knew that you couldn’t ever ask him to choose between you and his career – and you never would do that too – and at this point, you were feeling more like a holdback than a supporter that you should be.

He was doing so well, with sold-out tours all around the world, a movie coming out, a new top chart album and all the plans he had for the next years… and it was clear for you that you hadn’t a place in the middle of all this.

You tensed all your body when you heard the bathroom door opening and saw Harry coming to the room, his skin warm and wet from the shower. He was wearing a pink towel around his hips and by the look on his face, he had no intentions of putting a boxer on.

“Hey pet, what’s wrong?” He said frowning at you, climbing in bed behind you and kissing your neck.

“We need to talk,” your voice was almost a whisper, butterflies dead on your stomach, a heavy feeling on your chest. Harry nodded and you turned over to him, watching his tired green eyes looking into yours, patiently. It took a minute or two until you could recollect your feelings and say, “I think we shouldn’t be together anymore.”

“What?”  Harry said in a high-pitched voice, confused like you were talking a different language. “What are you talking about, pet?” He said putting his hand in your face, and once again it was all too much.

You got up from the bed and closed your eyes, feeling tears burning your eyes and your throat closing around the next words you had to say. You planned to make this quick, so you wouldn’t have time to regret it or think too much.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore, Harry. We need to break up.” You said again firmly, and Harry was frozen, staring at your eyes as if he could see inside your soul.

And he could.

“Where is this coming from, pet? Is it because of the last headline about Tess? You know I would never che-“

“It’s not because of that, Harry. I know you would never cheat on me. You don’t even have time for that.” You said looking at your bare feet, already regretting it. You should have done this over the phone. You shouldn’t have waited until you had a sad, tired eyes, wet and naked Harry in your bed.

“Then what’s it fo’ pet? I don’t understand…” Harry got up from the bed and stopped in front of you, letting his hands fall to his sides when he tried to reach for you, but you gave a step back. You would burst in flames and tears if he touched you in that moment, but you needed to be firm in your choice.

“Please don’t make this harder,” you whispered to him, avoiding his eyes.

“Tell me the reason,” he said after a minute, sitting again on the edge of the bed. “If you’re going to break up with me this suddenly, you need to have a good reason to do it. And I deserve to know. Tell me and I’ll leave.”

Sometimes it was all too much. Feeling the tears running down your face against your will, you knew that he was right, that this all was very sudden, that you really needed a good reason to do it, and that he deserved to know.

“You’re gonna laugh,” you said with a sad smile, but his eyes kept too serious, too tired.

“It’s not a funny moment actually.” He said and felt your cheeks red with shame for making a joke in a moment like that.

“Okay then…” You whispered and took another deep breath, looking into his eyes, “I feel like I’m a holdback in your life right now and there’s not much you can say that can change this. I just feel like… I don’t see a future. You’re super important and you’re doing equally important things right now and this is awesome, but I don’t see how we can be together in the middle of all this. I love you, please don’t ever think that I don’t. And just because I love you this much I feel like I need to let you go, because you deserve all the things that you have conquered till now with hard work, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

You chocked with tears, looking at the floor again, wishing that someone could invent a machine that erase painful memories, so you could delete this moment from your mind forever.

Harry was watching you, measuring every word you said like he was tasting them, feeling how bitter they taste was in your tongue, in the back of your throat.

“Bullshit,” he said after a minute, getting up again, “All you said is bullshit. What the fuck is wrong with you, pet?” And then his eyes were tired and annoyed.

“Well, Harry is the way I feel.” You said defensively, putting your arms around you as if it was cold.

“I understand that, and I know that lately stuff has been especially difficult to you but it’s bullshit when you said that we don’t have a place in the future. You are my future.  I know you are too good for me and that I’m not being the best boyfriend that exist on this planet but fuck… I really need you.” Harry ran his fingers through his wet hair, frustrated with all of this. “I don’t know what I can do for you to understand how much I love you but let’s just… try again? It all will be better in a few weeks…”

Harry looked at you, waiting for your answer, and all you could do was breathe quickly, trying to make your heart beat slower so you could come with a rational answer. You loved Harry and all the things he said were true. He would have less promo in the next weeks and then he would have a small tour, where you would be able to see him in many places and dates. Next year would be a mess, but it was too soon to worry about that yet.

“I feel like… I’m so ashamed, Harry. I’m so afraid to be a bad thing in the middle of all the good ones that are happening to you.” You said hiding your face in your hands, feeling Harry’s warm body around you a second later, his lips on your forehead, reassuring your crying.

“I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, please keep this in mind, don’t you ever forget about that.” He whispered softly, walking with you in his arms and falling in the bed, turning off the lights so you both could rest.

“You won’t be here tomorrow, and I don’t know how to not feel like this.” You whispered with your face nuzzled on his neck, tears running down your face to his skin. He kissed your forehead again, rubbing his lips on your skin till your tears ceased and you fell asleep, just to wake up in the morning with a headache and an empty space next to you on the bed, to match with the emptiness inside your chest.




(sorry)

I'm not ready

Summary: Could you ever be ready?
Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: This made me sad to write but yeah, I did it anyway.

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by sxy-seabass

I’m not ready to fall asleep alone, arms aching and empty, trying to remember a soft body curled into my chest, furtively trying to steal the heat from my body. I know I’d let go of everything I have in a heartbeat, at the quietest whisper from her.

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three

College AU. Angst. Yoongi/Namjoon. 2.3k words.

one | two | three

Originally posted by check-mark

[Three, don’t be his friend 

You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning]


Day in, day out and the constant cycle of sex and tears leaves you empty, but somehow craving for more. Taehyung refuses to speak to you, Jimin pretends not to see you in the hallways; a shy smile is all you get, and that’s more than enough to comfort you. Namjoon has been MIA ever since the phone call two weeks ago, and you don’t have to heart to go after him, not yet.

Yoongi pretends he doesn’t have other girls just one phone call away, instead choosing to camp outside your dorm every other day when you come back from the library tired and stressed out; only to fuck your brains out in every corner of your small dorm room. Not the healthiest stress reliever, but you’d take what you can get at this point.

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So I was at home thinking ‘’ What if Jack’s powers can connect Dean and the empty in a way?’’ and this happened.


“ And you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can not! ” His voice rises, sounding broken and full of emotion. “ It’s not fair, nothing that has happened is! ” He keeps shouting and Sam watches him with sorrow, as if he could understand him. Dean swallows a bitter laugh, Sam will never understand, not when it comes to Cas. Dean turns around before Sam can say anything else, his shoulders drooping and his steps tired. He doesn’t want to hear anything else, he can’t do it. Dean finally reaches  his room and throws his bag without caring about where it falls, he can still feel the anger making a lump in his throat, his eyes filling with tears. Dean drops to the floor, next to the end of his bed and hides his face in his hands, the tears now falling freely and sliding down his cheeks. He is so mad at everyone, at everything. 

Keep reading

with you, i remember the moments.

i remember what you were wearing
the first time i saw your underwear
inching up your back as you bent over
your passenger seat. i remember your bed,
comforter bunched up like bath cloths
lathering the only body you knew how to feed.

i remember climbing out your bedroom window
and rolling joints on your rooftop,
pretending we were on the planes
flashing seamlessly through the night sky
like a rescue mission. i remember air
heavy with summer, smoking weed in
my underwear between breaths. i told you
it felt like i was dreaming and you laughed.

we got lost in a state park once and
we had to jump a fence in the darkness.
you tried to kiss me in front of the flowerbeds
because i didn’t take your hand coming down.
the sky swallowed the stars whole
that night, but i was too busy staring
at your eyelashes to realize that we kind of
like it when our dark smothers our light.

i remember the first hickey you sucked out
of my heart, imprinting the bruises
on my body, vodka harsh on your lungs
like thunderstorms. i remember you
held my hand, cheeks roaring like forest fires.
my hands started shaking, fists like newborns.

with you, i remember the moments–
and with him it was all him him him.
god, i loved him so much i couldn’t sleep.
i remember waking up missing him
like his lungs were attached to my breath
and smelling his scent on my skin
for three days after we met.

i remember feeling hallow. empty.
climbing through dark tunnels with
nothing to grasp onto except
for old feelings. i remember feeling
like a character in his novel that everyone
knew the title of but me, where the first
kiss goodbye felt like crumpled leaves.

but you turned my story into potpourri.
and with you, i remember the moments.

—  with you, i remember the moments

anonymous asked:

hello! i'm about to be smacked in the tit by irma so i'm stocking up on fics to read.... i'm in need of some klance fics... i really like angsty fics but i will actually take anything you can give me i'm desperate :'-) thank you in advance!!!!

oh my goodness, take care! let us know how you’re doing afterwards?
We’ve got quite a lot of fics in our angst tag, and below I added one I recently read. This one doesn’t have a happy ending, but it’s not sad-sad either. It does leave a small twinge in your heart
- Vallie

you said there is no end by akaeijis (1/1 | 1,962 | Not Rated)

When Keith wakes up, the left side of his bed is always empty and cold. When he comes back, he stalks straight to bed, barely raising his hand to acknowledge Lance on the couch, who has always waited late nights for him.

They are not the same from before.

Found in the author’s note:

“to make it more emo you can read it as an aftermath to let me melt under the heat of your sun

let me melt under the heat of your sun by akaeijis, esbis (1/1 | 24,660 | Teen and Up)

He begins to seek Keith out in a crowd without meaning to. Eyes occasionally following him like they were magnetized, looking for the familiar waves that barely brush the high uniform collars. He looks for dark hair and dark eyes, crossed arms and a silent frown, stark against the sea of enthusiastic, starry-eyed cadets.

He feels drawn to him.

(Or, Lance falls in love with Keith during the time they spent together at the Garrison.)

anonymous asked:

Do you let your beardies hibernate? Mine is getting extremely sleepy at the moment and often refuses food so I'm worried that I have to... but I'm a first time owner and I'm scared he won't wake up again if I do something wrong...

some brumate and some don’t, some just sorta slow down and refuse food and may not totally go to sleep. poncho doesn’t brumate but she will get a little less active in colder months.

quinn, I’m not sure. he’s still awake and basking and up and about so I don’t know if he will either.

it’s not bad to let them brumate! just be sure they make a poop before they go to sleep so that their tummy is empty and food won’t rot in there. it’s also not a bad idea to get a checkup before their brumation time to ensure there’s no parasites when they go to sleep

fission;

“did you expect me here?” 

no, jungkook says. he stares out into the distance, at the headlights of the cars oncoming, and when yoongi tries to touch him, he moves away. i didn’t. it’s not my fault we come to the same places. it’s not my fault we meet at the same edges. yoongi swallows. 

“jungkook,” he tries. 

hyung, did you every wonder how the person you hurt feels after you hurt them?

yoongi thinks: hurt. hate. wanting to throw them off a cliff - throw yourself off a cliff - conflicting feelings and your heart in your shoes. metaphorically. sometimes you stare at the edge of the world and wonder. 

jungkook lets the rain fall on his head in his hair. lets it slip through the cracks of him. 

you probably think: i hate them! but i don’t. i feel sad. i miss you. but i don’t want you back. 

yoongi breathes through glass. 

so if you came here to ask me, jungkook says, looking out at the distance, if you came to say sorry again, save it. i don’t want it. please don’t give it to me. you know i’ll crack. cracked boy, letting water run through his already open faults, burning away the unholiness in his body. yoongi feels as though he has committed. 

“i’m - i love you,” yoongi says, miserable, and jungkook finally turns around to look at him. his eyes glitter black like the night and he blinks - 

yoongi wakes up, heart escaping, and finds that his bed is empty. jungkook’s words are not there. the room is empty and his empty white sheets are starched so white they might as well bleed. 

“i’m sorry,” yoongi says, just to see if he can, but like jungkook has told him - he cracks. 

Okay, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile because I really want this to happen in the series. 

So, the idea of Hiro having a very vivid nightmare of the fire and Tadashi running in (again) would be very possible and definitely something that would be interesting for Hiro to deal with (I mean, Tadashi died in a pretty traumatic way. It must affect Hiro from time to time). But what I think would be as equally interesting is if Hiro just had a normal dream about Tadashi.

Nothing bad happens to him. No fire, no Tadashi leaving for whatever reason. It’s just a peaceful, normal dream where they’re hanging out, thinking of ideas for robots or inventing in the garage. Everything is the way it should be. And then Hiro wakes up. He looks over to Tadashi’s side of the room, notices it’s empty and untouched. And then he remembers. 

I'm gonna miss you || Mingyu

Title: I’m gonna miss you

Genre: angsty??

A/n: I might do a part two of this in the future cause I kinda have a plot but who knows.


Mingyu opened his eyes slowly, letting the light from the window wake him up from his drowsy state. He closed his eyes again and gently rolled over laying his arm across the bed.

In surprise of not finding what he was searching for he opened one eye to see an empty space beside him. He mentally groaned; wanting to be with you and hold you for as long as he could.

He quickly whipped the covers off of him immediately regretting it as the morning air hit his skin. He slipped into his hoodie that was laid across the desk chair, before leaving the bedroom.

The smell of coffee filled the silent morning air as Mingyu’s bare feet padded across the kitchen floor.

You were there. Sitting quietly on the kitchen counter with a warm cup of coffee in your hand. You were dressed in one of his tee shirts that was three times your size and some fuzzy socks he had gotten you for Christmas.

He smiled at your domestic state as he walked towards the coffee machine. No words were exchanged but the air in the room was anything but awkward.

When he finish preparing his coffee he turned around to look at you while taking the first sip.

“Hi” you said, offering a small smile which he gladly returned.

“Hello”

Mingyu made his way to the counter you were sat on and placed his cup on top of it before hopping up to sit beside you.

When he did however his hip hit the coffee cup and spilt a little on the counter. When he looked over to you to see how you would react, his face was contorted into an apologetic look.

You let out a soft laugh as you placed your head on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up later”

At you words his shoulders relaxed and silence was the loudest thing again.

Mingyu stared straight ahead but all he could see were his thoughts. He would miss this; your head on his shoulder, simply having your presents there was enough to make him feel comfortable and content.

He gulped before turning his head slightly trying to catch some glimpse of you but to no avail.

He looked down at your bare thigh and placed his hand on it, rubbing his thumb up and down in a gentle manner.

“I’m gonna miss you” he whispered, voice barely audible even through the silence. You felt your heart sink at his words but it sank even more when you looked at the time.

7:43.

He had maybe thirty minutes left before he had to return to Korea. You knew Mingyu wasn’t good with goodbyes but they had to be done sometimes.
You placed your cup down and wrapped both your arms around his one arm and nuzzled deeper into his shoulder; even placing a chaste kiss on his neck.

“You’ll text?” You ask simply.

“Always”

“Call?”

“Everyday”

“Write?”

“If I have time”

“Skype?”

He turned towards you making your head lift up forcing you to look into his eyes.
He placed his hand on you’re cheek as he kept eye contact with you.

“If it means I get to hear your laugh, hear you talk about your day, or see that beautiful face of yours than I’ll make time”

With that a small blush spread on both of your cheeks and he leaned in to capture your lips with his own.

It was needy but in a different way. He wanted you but not lustfully, he wanted you with him and he wanted you to feel that.

He pulled away but rested his forehead on yours allowing your noses to brush every now and again.

“I have to go now” he whispers. And this time you find yourself clutching onto his shirt tightly, silently begging him to stay.

“I know” you unwillfully let out your reply.

He jumps down from the counter and moves in front of you.

“I’m gonna miss you Mingyu” you say after he helps you down from the counter.

“I mean who’s gonna help me reach the top shelves at the grocery store?” You joke trying to laugh off the fact that you were about to cry.

He let out a small laugh as he lifted the handle on his luggage.

The car was outside waiting for him but he wasn’t leaving.

You watched him as he simply stared at the door.

“Mingyu?” You asked wondering what he was doing. You slowly made your way over to him and when you moved in front of him you saw his nicely tanned face stained with tears.

“I didn’t want you or the boys to see me crying so I thought I would stare at the door until they dried up” he sniffed.

He was so precious, and you loved every bit of him.

“Aww Mingyu” you cooed before engulfing him in a hug. He bent down a little and rested his head in the crook of your neck.

“I’m just, I’m just really gonna miss you”

our hearts were made of stronger stuff than this. am i crying because it is the only thing left or because even the earth needs rain. our hands were formed to create. explain this to me while you’re sipping your coffee. explain to me the hole in the wall where you punched through your mother’s divorce. the hole in yourself you ripped, strings you tied off. you don’t believe in love and that’s okay. maybe love doesn’t believe in you. at eighteen you knew how to sew yourself into bed at night and rip yourself out of it in the mornings. tell me about the tiny destruction. about how your heart aches for things beyond the ocean. about how you’ve always wanted out but you’ve since lowered your goals to just surviving. about how the walls of your home are teeth. you were made to love so much it would wake up the sun. you fill that empty with numb. your hands shake. tell me over coffee we were made to create; tell me over the phone you’re destroying yourself anyway. we were supposed to be better but we forgot the equation somewhere in our childhood fish graves. i tell you that you can stand up and run. you tell me you’ve given up. 

what makes death a lover? oh, when he’s won.

2

WHATS WRONG | PVRIS

I actually took these pictures and I’m really happy with how these turned out?¿