We Accept What We Deserve
**Prompt By @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries**
Tell me. If you had done something wrong, and someone had to choose a punishment (don’t go there you kinky fucks), would you want it to be fair? Of course you would. Perhaps you dropped a glass and were told to clean up the shards with a broom and dustpan versus your mouth. You’d find the broom and dustpan more fair, right? It was only one glass, and it’s easily replaced.
Now let’s say you were the literal embodiment of anxiety. You feel like you deserve something equally as bad as your anxiety, right? So maybe after you cause a problem, you lock yourself away so the others don’t have to see you anymore. Maybe you deserved their yelling and hatred, but maybe you just want to avoid it all. Maybe you don’t know if you deserve all the words thrown at you by them.
Maybe that’s why he spends so much time in his room. Maybe that’s why he separates himself. He does’t deserve the love they want to give him.
He doesn’t deserve the quiet calmness that comes with Logan. Logan, the one who would sit in his room after a bad day and just read until he was ready to talk. Logan, the one who would warn Roman and Patton when he couldn’t speak. Logan, the one who struggles to understand emotion.
He doesn’t deserve the childish love from Patton. Patton, the one who makes him cookies and hot chocolate and watches Winnie The Pooh with him on the bad days and the good days. Patton, the one who knows the right way to hold him and play with his hair to calm him from an attack. Patton, the one who could never reach the level of despair in his heart.
Most of all, he doesn’t deserve the fiery passion from Roman. Roman, the one who would slay every dragon witch that plagues his heart. Roman, whose blinding white uniform is such a contrast to his black. Roman, the only one who doesn’t have to make an effort for him to be loved.
Yeah, something like him doesn’t deserve them. We only accept what we think we deserve. Maybe he should just-
“Ann?” That’s Patton, at the door to his bedroom. “You haven’t come out in a few days, we were getting worried.”
He should just leave him out there, there’s not much else that can be done, he can’t get too close-
“Anxiety, we wish to talk with you.” Logan, his voice calm and collected, comes from the other side of the door.
Go away before I hurt you, go away go away go-
“Ann, love?” Roman was the quietest of them all, a stark contrast from other times. “Please… we want to see you.”
“…the door is open.”
Maybe… maybe things can change. Maybe he deserves more.
‘I’m not always the bad guy’.