i used up all my shame drawing this i don't have any more

anonymous asked:

Hey! Regarding the sixpenceee fiasco I've been reading her posts and stories for like years and it might just be because I usually skim but I don't recall any specific stories that target mental illness. Do you have any clear examples??? Rly shocked tbh bc I used to love her

I’ve been seeing the stuff go around for a couple of years now and I admit at first I didn’t pay it much attention, which is a shame because a lot of those call out posts had good links that are now all gone because of people deleting. As a result, a lot of the initial stuff that made me start thinking more critically about sixpenceee’s posts have been deleted. I’ve spent the last few days trying to source them again via people’s new urls and internet archives, but literally 90% of the links are gone.

So, I’ve done a bit of digging of my own, and I’ve managed to find some still live posts that I think illustrate what I’m saying a bit better. I’ve screencapped them all and will be hosting the images myself independently of a specific post, so the links should always work.

I’m specifically focusing on the content of this ask here, with posts that use mental illness as entertainment, or treat it in the same way as regular “creepy” (i.e. horror) content.

  • The case of Margaret Schilling is a post about a woman in a psychiatric hospital who died after getting lost in the building, and her body wasn’t found for many weeks. There is a short paragraph at the end about how the hospital is apparently haunted by Margaret now, but the majority of the post focuses on her being mentally ill and the suffering she must have felt being lost and dying of cold and exposure. There’s also a picture of the stain her decomposing body left, so beware of that. It’s tagged #paranormal.
  • The Mentally Ill Man Who Cured Himself With a Gun is a post about a man with serious OCD who tried to kill himself by shooing himself in the head, resulting in brain damage that “cured” his OCD. The photo is of a man with a gun to his head, if that will bother you. It’s tagged as a science post.
  • Short Creepy Story is a story from Reddit where the “creepy” event is a schizophrenic woman acting strangely because of her hallucinations. That’s it. Dude’s mum is schizophrenic and he goes upstairs to find her in the bathtub thinking she’s in The Little Mermaid. The title is “short creepy story” so like, yeah.
  • The Child Star is a story from Reddit which focuses on children being sexually abused and not understanding what’s going on, and the police interviews with one of the grown up children who is now clearly suffering from mental illness thanks to the trauma. (Full story)
  • The Suicide Orphan is a story from Reddit which focuses on an orphan that drives people insane and results in them committing suicide, and I know that this isn’t the only example where sixpenceee posts things that use suicide as the main element of a horror story, which is exploitative and also I personally think it’s inappropriate to use something that comes as a result of serious suffering and imply that it was the creepy ghosts that did it. (Full story)
  • “Psychopath” post includes a link to a quiz where you can see where you “fit in on the psychopath sprectrum”. I’ve seen people mention her using outdated terms in her posts and so this is here as proof that it does happen, and also because “do you have a severe personality disorder?” is a bit of a cheap entertainment trick in my opinion.
  • Karin Catherine Waldegrave is a post about a woman who replies incessantly to her own posts on social media, believing she is the target of a conspiracy. It’s clear she’s likely mentally ill. The post is tagged #creepy.
  • Chinese Water Torture is a post about the torture method that drives victims to extreme stress-related mental instability, and is here both because of that and because the fact that it’s tagged #creepy, which doesn’t seem appropriate.
  • The Edmonton Train attack video shows someone apparently in an altered state of mind through drugs or mental illness (or both) attacking someone on a train. She gifed a video which has since been deleted but a different video of the attack can be found on Youtube, and described it as “insane”.
  • Drawings of a Young Schizophrenic Boy is exactly what it says – a bunch of drawings from a young boy suffering from schizophrenia. The boy is quite obviously distressed by his hallucinations but the post is treated like the other paranormal posts, designed to shock and scare. The post is also tagged #creepy, which is inappropriate. (Close up of caption and tag, as the image is difficult to read)
  • Made By a Paranoid Schizophrenic Patient is another drawing by a person suffering from schizophrenia, also tagged #creepy, and this one with a self-promo in the caption.

I also found a post where sixpenceee addresses the claims of ableism. She says she agrees on the points made about films and stories portraying the mentally ill/physically disabled as “scary”, and that she tries to avoid using words like “insane”. She also asks people to differentiate between her paranormal/creepy posts and her scientific posts. However, she still continues to frequently refer to things as “insane”, both as descriptors and to self-promote her blog (1, 2, 3).

This covers the things I’ve seen people claim she does, but if anyone has any other links (especially things saved from earlier posts like this) feel free to add on.

anonymous asked:

Hey! Hope you are having a lovely day... I know you are not taking any prompts but I've been having a really bad week and well.. I don't know why but the thought of max lord coming back at the DEO as a consultant has been haunting me for a while .. I mean max flirting with Alex, he doesn't know she is dating Maggie and she is there ...

“I told you, we don’t need his help – “

“But we do, Alex. I don’t like the man any more than you do, but he is the foremost expert on this kind of technology, whether we approve of him as a person or – “

“Aw, Director Henshaw, it’s always good to hear a compliment from a man of your disposition.”

Alex tenses at the sound of his voice – but slightly, slightly, so that only J’onn and Maggie notice – and J’onn just rolls his eyes.

“Your expertise doesn’t make it worth my time or energy to go so far as to compliment you, Mr. Lord,” J’onn deadpans, and Alex smirks and turns around, just as Maxwell Lord is stepping into her space.

Close into her space.

“Agent Danvers. As mysteriously beautiful as ever. I like what you’re doing with your hair; it’s less straight now, are you using new products?”

Winn snorts without turning from his computer console and Maggie shares a silent smirk with him.

“The only new product I’m interested in discussing with you is this weapon. That’s all, Max.”

“You mean to tell me you didn’t call me here because you missed me? Shame, Agent Danvers. Shame. But we’ll get there.”

J’onn glances at Maggie and her eyes are tense, her eyes are alert, but this is Alex Danvers, and Alex Danvers can take care of herself, and she swears to herself that she’ll respect that.

But that doesn’t mean she can’t put her body between his and Alex’s, because she knows Alex, and she knows her face is blank and her eyes are sarcasm and wit, but she knows her skin is crawling.

“Maggie Sawyer, NCPD Science Division,” she steps forward and puts out her hand.

Max’s eyes sweep her body briefly, and Alex can’t tell whether he’s checking her out sexually or cataloguing all her body language for a psychological profile. She hates it either way.

“I see I’m not the only local assistance you’re bringing in. Good for you, Director Henshaw: pride costs us more than hunger, or in this case, annihilation.”

Alex rolls her eyes and strides abruptly toward the lab.

“This way.”

He follows, and Maggie watches, Maggie helps, Maggie observes, as – when he actually focuses on the science – Alex and Max work well together.

Maxwell Lord is a world-renowned genius: a stirring of pride swells in Maggie’s chest that her girlfriend not only keeps up with him easily, but outpaces him, surprises him, comes up with things that make his eyebrows rise in surprised delight.

But anger also boils in her blood, because in the moments when Alex is bent over a microscope and he moves to see next, he stands way too close to her body. His eyes trickle down her neckline, and Maggie sees Alex tense in a way the supposed genius doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care about.

His off-handed comments about her missing him, about her missing them, even though Maggie knows – and Alex knows, and hell, even Max knows – there was never a them, build and build and build.

And Maggie swore she wouldn’t be possessive; swore she would let Alex fight her own battles; but as the afternoon draws on, Alex is looking more and more exhausted, more and more frustrated, more and more resigned to having to put up with his incessant flirting until they’re through with his knowledge.

But those days – the days of Alex having to push down her feelings – are over.

So Maggie takes a deep breath and Maggie passes behind Alex and slips her hand from her waist across the small of her back. Alex knows her touch, knows her hands, knows her gentleness, even while staring hard into a microscope lens, and she smiles.

It’s that smile that lets Maggie know that Alex is comfortable, that Alex is ready, that Alex has nothing to hide.

“Babe, have you thought about asking Supergirl to call Star Labs? Because we were talking about it, just randomly, and I think I remember her saying something about a cold gun, and I’m thinking we could adapt some of the principles to – “

“Oh my god, Mags, you’re a genius,” Alex splutters, and blows past Max to get to Maggie, to frame her face with her hands, and kiss her full on the mouth.

Max blinks and he stares and he grimaces.

“So that’s why we never got anywhere, Agent Danvers: you – “

“No. No no no, stop right there, Max. We never got anywhere because you’re a pretentious, selfish asshole. Also, I’m a lesbian. The things are completely unrelated.”

Maggie smirks and Max blinks rapidly and Alex nearly pats her own self on the back.

One of the agents assigned to keeping an eye on Max smirks while the other lets out a soft sigh as he passes his grinning colleague a crisp fifty dollar bill.

“Told you Agent Danvers would snap first. You owe Director Henshaw a twenty, too.”

yodalicious  asked:

Gradence, regency AU? (If you're still taking prompts)

2. Regency AU

The whispers about Mister Newton Scamander, Esquire preceded the man himself by several weeks. He’d sent word and servants ahead of him to open his winter estate, and Credence heard nothing from his mother but how much money the man was reported to be worth, how he was quite unmarried, and how he reportedly fancied himself a writer.

He heard a great deal more before he finally laid eyes on Mr. Scamander himself near the beginning of the Season, and he felt confident that, should the need to make conversation arise, he would be quite capable of lasting a full five minutes before finding the opportunity to introduce his eldest sister. He didn’t imagine that his sister actually had much chance of success with Scamander, but it was what his mother had tasked him to do. He had to make at least a token effort. 

Scamander was, in turn, doing his level best to introduce his friend to the all the party members. Credence could feel the wave of whispers slowly cresting outwards as each cluster of people was greeted by this unexpected guest. Credence couldn’t place the face, but it was obvious from his dress that he was at least Scamander’s rank or higher. A gentleman then – and a rich one, judging by the volume of the whispers and the way his mother violently began jerking at Credence’s cuff.

“Go, go,” she hissed at him. “Find out everything you can!”

Credence sighed and weaved his way closer, picking up snatches of conversation as he went. 

“Estate in New York–”

“–three sisters, all married well apparently–”

“–forty-years and never wed himself, what a shame–”

“Very rich, however. That’s enough to let any wife overlook certain proclivities.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello~💖💕 I just found your blog and accidentally read everything. I love your writing so much, it's amazing~!! Could you maybe do RFA reacting to MC with really bad acne, like covers their entire face? I suffer from acne really bad and don't see many head canons of MC with it..

hey, love! first of all, tysm for your kind words! you have no idea how happy it makes us to know that you’re enjoying our content

now, as someone who also suffers from an annoying skin condition, I agree with you 100% and we gotta change that asap!! so here’s my take on your request, please let me know if you had something different in mind ^^

- Admin Cat Mom.

Yoosung

  • listen, this cutie patootie loves you deeply just as you are, and it’s never been a big deal for him, he barely even notices it?
  • therefore he has never mentioned anything about it.
  • nothing, nada.
  • but if someone even dares to stare at your face or make unsolicited remarks, he’ll have no mercy on them.
  • don’t underestimate the power of his death glare.
  • come on, he gets it, he’s had pimples before.
  • and he knows how annoying it is when people point them out as if they were entitled to do so.
  • uhm no one asked? for god’s sake.
  • feeling self-conscious about your pimples and your scars today?
  • he’ll remind you that the moon is covered in scars and is still pretty, and bright, and loved and praised by many.
  • or how about doing facials for one another? he’ll ask what works best for you so that you can try it together while watching movies! it’ll be like a slumber party.

Zen

  • does not care at all.
  • yes, he may go on and on about looks sometimes
  • to be more specific, his looks.
  • but he thinks the world of you regardless of your flaws?
  • he doesn’t mind pimples, or stretch marks, or scars.
  • you’re human and it’s normal for you to have them! that’s what great about bodies and there shouldn’t be any shame in that.
  • whenever you’re feeling down about it, he compliments you and reminds you how beautiful you actually are.
  • “but babe, it must have been god’s intention to curse you like this… you must have been way too perfect when he made you.”
  • besides, as he is an expert at skincare and knows plenty of tricks, he’ll come up with an excelent routine for the both of you to try (taking your dermatologist’s recommendations into account of course).
  • it’ll be kind of like your thing.

Jaehee

  • understands your position to an extent.
  • the pressure of having porcelain skin can be unbearable at times.
  • so she can’t even begin to imagine how rough you must have it.
  • still, she’s not the one to care for looks.
  • she didn’t care the first time you met, she doesn’t care now.
  • the only thing that matters here is that you feel happy and confident in your own skin.
  • and if there’s anything she can do to help you achieve that, never be afraid to let her know.
  • don’t worry, she’ll notice even if you don’t say anything.
  • you both end up sharing makeup and skincare tips, and looking for products that won’t damage your skin.
  • also!! if you have severe self-esteem issues, she’ll be constantly cheering for you!! she’ll suggest setting up resolutions to boost your confidence because she wants you to love yourself as much as she loves you.

Jumin

  • this man
  • this man adores you to death.
  • he loves you for your heart and your mind.
  • and because you were his support system when he felt the most alone and unstable.
  • he couldn’t care less about how your face looks.
  • plus he’s always thought that appearances and conventional beauty are highly overrated.
  • that being said, he also believes that having a healthy body is important.
  • and he’s willing to do everything in his power to help you ease your skin disorder if that’s what you want/need.
  • he’ll get you appointments with his dermatologist (the best one in the country), pay for your treatments, and ask his chef to come up with an appropriate meal plan for you.
  • but he’ll always reassure you that it’s not about beauty, it’s about your health, and that you should embrace your best and worst qualities as those are what make you who you are.

Seven

  • this has never been an issue for him.
  • there’s so much to love about you…
  • and he always gets lost in your eyes and your lips anyway.
  • “acne who? the hell are you talking about, MC? I thought you had a galaxy on your face.”
  • if you ever express disgust or frustration due to your skin, or seem like you’re uncomfortable/in pain, he’ll find ways to cheer you up and make you laugh.
  • “eh? someone did this to you? someone is hurting you? unacceptable! don’t worry, MC, I’ll find their ugly butt and hack everything they love.”
  • “hmm, could it be an alien, though? an alien cat? what do you think? I’ll have to look into it.”
  • on one occasion he handed you a red marker and asked you to draw spots on his face.
  • “I want to feel what you feel.”
  • he adores you from head to toe, and he finds things like this so irrelevant, but if it’s troubling to you, it will be his duty to help you overcome it! (even if he fucks up at times, we all know how much of a dork he can be).

V

  • I think we’ve mentioned before how soft this man actually is !!!
  • it’s pretty obvious that he’s never put much thought into it.
  • he finds you beautiful, he was captivated by your unique personality, and he feels like you two have made a real connection.
  • and if you ever bring up the topic
  • because lbr here, he won’t say a word about it unless you do.
  • he’ll frown slightly and shake his head.
  • “oh?”
  • and then there’s a brief moment of realization right there: of all the times he’s brushed his hand against your cheek, or kissed your forehead and eyelids, of all the times he’s ever done the slightlest thing to you, have you ever felt insecure or uncomfortable?
  • …questions, he’ll ask lots of questions.
  • mainly about how you feel, if it’s affecting you physically and/or emotionally, if you’re taking care of yourself, and if you need his help.
  • he wants to know how to handle this situation so that he can avoid hurting you.

anonymous asked:

I saw the one where the s/o is tol, but what if their s/o was smol yet had long ass legs. I do I'm 5'1 and next to my friends my hips reach their waist and I don't have any room for my legs

A/N: god damn i love legs wtf ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           -Aawww smol MC!!

           -HE’S FINALLY THE TALL ONE, HA

           - okay but not by much my sweet summer child

           -He feels so bad because you always hit your legs on  the table when you try to get up

           -HE FORGETS ALL THE TIME THAT YOU HAVE LONG LEGS

           -He likes to try and be gentlemanly, pulls out chairs for you!

           -NEVER PULLS THEM OUT FAR ENOUGH you have to struggle to get your legs under the table

           -He has to avert his gaze all the time, basically refuses to look at your legs because??? L e g s

           -LOVES when the two of you sit on the couch and you just toss them across his lap

           - has to fight not to touch them i am a goOD BOY, IM A GOOD BOY, I WONT TOUCH MC’S LEGS

*ZEN:

           -Constantly resting his chin on top of your head since you’re shorter

           -He likes to carry you around a lot and it’s totally not so he has an excuse to touch the legs??

           - contain the beast

           -He can literally pick you out of a crowd by looking at your legs

           -Which can be helpful because you’re small and he loses you more often than he likes to admit

           - okay but zen if you can recognize MC by their legs how is that gonna help you in crowds

           -He’ll legit drop to the ground and look through a sea of legs he has no shame, he is gOING TO FIND HIS MC

           -Nobody says anything bad about you because??? He’ll fight them

           -The height difference between the two of you is his aesthetic, he takes so many selfies accentuating it

*JAEHEE:

           -Short Squad

           -She’s short and has long legs too!!!

           -KNOWS THE STRUGGLE OF FINDING CLOTHES

           -Pants are probably hell to find because ya gotta get them big for the length but then they’re loose i mean i wouldnt know i just have problems finding pants long enough

           -The two of you have to hem your clothes all the damn time but at least y'all can take turns

           -She’s just happy someone knows her pain

           -Which means the two of you are very conscious about each other’s leg room

           -It’s so hard to sit at a table at the coffee shops because your legs bump into each other and sometimes one of you hits the table with your knee

           - you’RE GONNA SPILL THE COFFEE

*JUMIN:

           - Y E S

           -L E G S

           -Meet Larry Long Legs, you’re now his mini version

           -There’s always leg room at tables, in the car, you name it

           -Because they’ve already been adjusted to his long ass legs!!! thank the lord

           -He can have any type of clothing made for you, so guess who doesn’t have to struggle with pants anymore? That’s right- YOU

           -Not to mention he gets things that’ll make your legs look even better calves calves calves

           -Thinks you’re so cute because you’re small, he feels like such a protector, come here and let me hold you MC

           -Cuddling is a mess sometimes though because of those god damn legs jumin put your leg here, no, here, i’ll put mine here, im soRRY I DIDNT MEAN TO KICK YOU

*SAEYOUNG:

           -Hooooo boy

           -My dude

           -Ya thought Jumin worshiped the legs?

           -10x WORSE

           -If he’s able to, a hand is always running up one of them

           -You’re so cute and small, you can sit on his lap and both of you can cuddle up in his jacket

           - and he’s closer to the legs hell yeah come here MC

           -Begs you to wear some outfits with high heels maid costume

           -Foot massages end up with him kissing his way up your leg wink wonk

           -Hates when you use them against him. You can’t kick me away from you MC pls

*V:

           -So small, so precious

           -Kisses to the top of your head are expected and unlimited

           -He’s always looking to make you comfortable, so he makes sure there’s leg room no matter where you go or what you do

           -Otherwise he doesn’t treat you any different??

           -It’s just your body, he loves it of course, but he’d love it no matter what

           -He does like giving you piggy back rides though

           -That way you can see a lot more!!!!

           - he’s a gentleman he won’t admit that it’s so he can hold onto your legs

           - okay he’s told you like once or twice with no shame but you just block it out of your mind because??? ya gotta keep your innocent image of him

*SAERAN:

           -Damn, hello there legs

           -Has absolutely no shame?? He’ll touch them all the time, in public, at home, whenever wherever

           -He loves sitting on the couch with you in his lap since you’re smaller than him

           -Likes to lay his head on your shoulder and nuzzle his face against the crook of your neck

           -He forgets sometimes that you also need leg room??

           -Like at restaurants, he takes all the leg room because you’re small

           -Painfully reminded that you also need the leg room when you kick him in the shin

           - mc what the fuck don’t kick me

           -If he can’t sleep, he mindlessly draws shapes up and down your legs because the movement can help him relax

anonymous asked:

Dear Bad Advisor: I am a 20-year-old (grown-ass) woman, recently turned agnostic, sort of really opposed to ritualistic religious practices. I grew up with strict Hindu parents who force me to join in prayer, walk around the deities three times at the temple, that sort of thing. I've tried reasoning with them, but alas. They don't care for that stuff. I don't want to start a fight, but each time I have to light the oil lamp and say my prayer, my blood pressure goes through the roof. Any advice?

Readers won’t stop sending the Bad Advisor their real-ass questions to answer, so the Bad Advisor is periodically going to try her hand at answering them.

Boy howdy, can the Bad Advisor see herself in your question, LW! Shout out to all her fellow expats from organized, parent-endorsed religions in the world! 

Look, you’re 20 years old, and you’re in a Place. Bad Advisor doesn’t mean that to be condescending! If you’re anything like a lot of 20-year-olds, especially a lot of 20-year-olds realizing that they’re not juking and jiving with everything their parents spent a couple of decades teaching them, there are well-worn paths leading into and out of that Place.

It sounds like you’ve tried to talk to your parents about why you’re not down with the particular iterations of the religious practices that you grew up with, and which they still adhere to. Having that conversation is hard as a hard butt, so kudos to you for having the guts to use your words in the first place. This is a sign that you are a mature, thoughtful person who wants to treat her parents like adult-equals.

But think of it from your parents’ perspective: they raised you, this person whose butt they used to wipe like four times a day (four? Bad Advisor doesn’t know how many times babies do poops) to do and believe in a thing that they believe is true and helpful and important, and you get one leg out of the nest and next thing they know, you’re telling them that that thing they wanted you to know and believe and love and find important and life-giving is just kind of … not your bag.

That has got to be a hard thing for a parent to hear.

The Bad Advisor watched her own parents hear it from her. They were angry and heartbroken and frustrated. There was weeping and gnashing of teeth. There were guilt bombs dropped. It was a horrible thing and there was nothing the Bad Advisor could do about the fact that this thing she had once so loved, and so been taught to love, was just, like, deeply unbelievable and in many ways totally unpalatable and in even more ways like, a demonstrably bad thing for some people.

This is the gamble of parenting—a game that, unfortunately, a lot of parents think is or should be rigged entirely in their favor, so that when the dice stop rolling after eighteen or twenty years, they end up with the adult human they ordered two decades ago. 

Your parents may never like this outcome. They may hold a grudge against you for years, decades, the rest of your life. That is on them. That is not your fault. They made a sentient human, and this is what happens when you make a sentient human. 

The question is: what can you do about it now? That depends on how much you need to rely on your parents for things like housing, food, school payments, etc. You say you “have” to do these religious rituals that you aren’t on board with, which makes Bad Advisor think that you—like a whole fucking lot of 20-year-olds—are reliant on your parents for some degree of basic world support.

Some parents are going to hold their financial or emotional support hostage until you Do Religion Right. This is a shitty thing, but it is a not uncommon thing. If this is the case with you, and your parents threaten to stop paying for X, Y, Z unless you Do Religion Right, Bad Advisor suggests that you work to become financially independent as quickly as possible.

IN THE MEANTIME: a thing you are probably discovering about religion is that it can, and does, mean so many different things to many, many different people. Yes, the rituals you do at the temple have specific meanings according to the tenets of an organized religion, but can you make these rituals mean something more or different for you, privately? 

An example: the Bad Advisor occasionally attends church services with her parents on major holidays, and this often involves taking communion (that’s when Christians “drink” and “eat” the blood/body of Jesus, and various Christian denominations interpret the ritual differently). The Bad Advisor takes communion, but she prefers to imagine that the ritual is not about a magic man in the sky and his bodily sacrifice to save her original-sin-ridden self from Hell, but about sharing the table of humanity with other people and the obligations that gives the Bad Advisor to not be a complete bag of shit when she lives in the world.

Can you work to reinterpret/retool the rituals you partake in now into something that means something more/different for you? No one but you has to know, and it may give you an interesting opportunity to think not only about these existing rituals, but about where you want to go with your faith and spirituality in the future, and what does and doesn’t work for you in developing your own agnosticism/whatever.

As for dealing with your parents in the long run: chances are, this is going to become less of A Thing over time. Your adulthood is new to your parents; as time goes on, they may become more acclimated to the adult person you will become, and so will you. As this happens, it’s important to draw loving boundaries with people who may mean well, but in trying to “help” you, are actually tremendously hurting/guilting/shaming you.

Get good at changing the subject and redirecting to cooperative tasks—especially tasks that remind your parents that you appreciate their help with things you really need help with:

  • “Thanks, Dad, I’ll think about that. Hey, how about this taco recipe?”
  • “I see what you’re saying, Mom. By the way, I’ve been wondering if you can help me install this fuckball of an IKEA shelving unit.”
  • “That sounds like it’s very important to you, Mom and Dad. Listen, this Rubik’s cube is giving me a hell of a fight. Ideas?”

Now, your parents may be inveterate fixers who take every ask for assistance as an opportunity to DOOOOO PAAARREENNTTIIIINNG ATTT YOOOOUUUU. If this is the case, you’ll want to change that script some:

  • “Those are great points, Dad, but I’m really trying to figure this one out on my own.”
  • “This sounds like a really interesting book, Mom. What did you like most about it?”

Most importantly, you say that you “don’t want to start a fight.” So … don’t! When you feel the conversation turning to fight-mode, rather than rational-adults-discussing-the-marvels-of-the-universe mode, disengage. Use some of those scripts up above, or simply leave the room, house, whatever, with as little fanfare as possible. Go for a walk. Head to class or work early. Your parents will, hopefully, eventually realize that they can’t argue you into sharing their faith—and, in fact, will probably realize that a coerced faith is no faith at all.

Depending on your family’s socio/cultural norms, some of these things may pose more difficulties than others; only you can find the right balance. It’ll take work. Years and years of work. As you become more secure in your adulthood and your own faith/spirituality/lack thereof, Bad Advisor suspects that you’ll feel a little more comfortable making small compromises (for example, attending services or performing rituals on special holidays, etc.), and feeling less obligated/pushed to resist/rebel.

Best of luck to you, LW!

lizanneglasgow  asked:

I'm writing this prompt scene, and my MC (female, most likely a spy) is being backed into a corner by this apparently drunk guy who's making these advances. I don't have any training in martial arts (so wish I did), so I'm not sure how exactly she would go about getting out of the situation, like what moves she would make to cripple him and get past to leave. Any help? Love the site!! ❤️😊 Liz

The Spy:

If she’s a spy then fighting in that situation is a terrible idea, a spy wants to make as few waves as possible and do nothing to compromise their identity.

Consider these two questions when writing any action sequence both from an internal character perspective and from an outside view overlooking the whole scene (including background characters related to the drunk guy, drunk guys like that are rarely ever acting alone).

Can I?

Then, should I?

The “can I” is fairly simple, can my character solve this problem with violence?

Yes, she has the training necessary to solve it that way, but the real question at the base of it is: should she? Should she solve the problem with violence? Remember, violence is not the only solution. More than that, a spy rarely uses violence unless they have to. It’s too messy, it draws too much attention, and will draw even more attention for a woman especially in an environment where she’s not supposed to have those skills than they will for a  man. Spies need to keep their cover identity intact, and they need to keep the long game in mind. If she is a spy then her goal is to not stand out, to do nothing that will have this drunken idiot suspecting she was anything other than a random girl he met in some bar and do it in a way that will not attract the attention of whoever else is in that bar. She doesn’t just have to worry about drunk guy remembering her, she has to worry about his friends, about the random patrons in the bar (who could be reporting back to authority figures, who could be off-duty members of the police, who could report her to the police like the bartender, and the last thing she wants is any authority looking for her. This includes friendly authority. Spies are predominantly criminals, even on their own turf they’re sacrificial pawns without much of a safety net.)

In this situation, if she is a spy, she is acting in opposition and impeding her own goals by fighting.

Ask yourself, who is in the bar that supports the drunk guy? If two people get into a fight at a club what usually happens? The answer is fairly simple: lots of other people intervene. If she acts as the aggressor, then they are more likely to act in defense of the drunk guy making advances. So, instead of creating an easy exit solution, she stuck dealing with more people. They’re either asking her “hey are you okay?”, they’re trying to fight her, they’re trying to arrest her, etc. This is what I mean when I say that violence often creates more problems than it solves. There is a very specific environment that exists within the rules of social decorum, disrupting the environment means everyone is suddenly looking at you.

So what does the spy do? They deal with the situation. Their job description is manipulating people, that is what they do. They’re dealing with someone who is cognitively impaired. This is not a challenge. This is a ground ball. This is easy.

So, the guy is making advances and interfering with their ability to do their job. How do they get rid of him?

Charm.

That’s the answer you expect because women are supposed to be charming. They’re supposed to be nice and sweet. A female spy can and should use society expectations for her gender to her advantage, on all levels and in all directions. Were she in a situation where she didn’t have to hurry, she could play to this guy’s ego, ply him with more drinks until he passed out, convince him to go into an ally or walk her home or whatever until she ditched him in a crowd. That’s the long way.

The quick and dirty way is to go the other direction by making herself unfuckable. Unlikeable. Gross. The trick is not to say, “I don’t want it” or provide resistance. It’s to make him not want it anymore. He’s here because he’s interested and tuned up on liquid courage, he will go away the minute he decides it’s a bad idea. It will draw almost no attention.

Talk about having fleas, itch the crotch, complain about rashes in unfortunate places, talk about having a pain in the jaw, a rotten tooth, the stories about last six guys she slept with, start crying about her ex-boyfriend/last lover (and not in a pitiful way), about the pigs, anything you can think of within reason or feels plausible.

Her goal is for him to look at her and say: disgusting.

He’s drunk, if done right, this will happen fairly short order. So when she makes an excuse to leave after talking about her seven cats (and how they maybe sleep in really unfortunate places), he’s more than happy to let her.

Writing spies is difficult for a lot of writers because it takes a fair amount of confidence. You need to be willing to let your character not be the center, for them to let other people believe nasty things about them that are untrue. For them to be overlooked. More importantly for them to use the people around them and those in their environment in order to achieve their goals.

A female spy is not someone constrained by the social rules, mores, and gender restrictions. Manipulating those rules to her advantage is the job description. From the best to the worst, everything is in her arsenal. The kind of behavior that makes a woman terrible like manipulating/scheming/using people and we are actively shamed for is the exact behavior she engages in. Unrepentantly.

All the things you’d never do in your regular life, which might seem disgusting, uncomfortable, or cruel are available. All usury is allowed. If she is a spy, then she is a manipulator. Let her use social expectations to her advantage. Let her manipulate.

Take the command of the situation.

The Drunk Guy is Your Patsy:

More importantly, your spy has now has an asset. Don’t think of the drunk guy as an impediment, Drunk Guy is a tool. He already has something he wants from her, he’s already impaired, she can use him however she wants. Shove him into any situation. He won’t remember anything when he wakes up in police custody in the morning.

Her job is social manipulation. This guy is a willing victim. Use him.

Trust me, you can get more places with two and less suspicion than you can with one. Especially when that one is probably going to puke up all over the place. People don’t want to be around that. They want to get out of the way. More trouble for them.

This is what spies do. They exploit that shit.

This guy is Christmas.

She can hide behind him, be the responsible caretaker while he’s falling all over himself, and he’ll be the one they remember. More than that, he wakes up in a hotel room he shouldn’t be in with people asking questions about, “where’s the laptop?” and all he can reply with is, “A girl???”

She escapes free and the police will be his problem now.

The Cliche:

The other thing to remember is that this sequence where the guy backs the well-trained girl into a corner and she proceeds to beat his ass with zero consequences while everyone laughs is a cliche.

I mean that. More than that, it’s stupid. It’s what I call “faux feminism good feels”. Buffy falls into this category a lot. It doesn’t mean shit and relies on the basic idea that a girl beating up someone up is such a surprise that no one will believe it or the act of getting beat up by a girl is too embarrassing so they get away scot free.

It runs the gamut from big to small, but what it ends up being is female characters are transformed into bullies. Whether it’s Wonder Woman forcing a guy who insulted her to admit that he cross-dresses in her outfit in front of a crowd to Buffy shoving a bully into a vending machine (while emasculating Xander at the same time). The fantasy is “taking back the power”. A safe way for the asshole to get what’s coming to them.

At the end of the day, it’s a revenge scene. It’s public humiliation. A cheap way for a female character assert that she is a bad ass. One which assumes that she’s playing under “untrained woman” rules rather than “trained combatant that happens to be female” rules. Trained combatant actually supersedes normal female because a trained character has to consider use of force aka is the level of force they’re applying to the situation acceptable to the one they’re in. (Well, they don’t but if they don’t then there should be consequences.)

The more training someone has then the more responsibility they take for their actions. The more training someone has, the less likely they are to attempt to solve their problems with violence.

Feminism is about understanding that women and men are equals, we’re all people. We’re not better, we’re not worse. We’re all capable of the same awfulness. We carve out way past the bullshit social structures and politics to realize that it isn’t an absolute. However, we also get the quote from Truman Capote: “The problem with being outside the law is you no longer have it’s protection.”

If you choose to excise the gender politics and social constraints that come with being female then you are no longer protected by those same rules. If your female character is actively breaking the gender rules, then you cannot expect her to be protected by them and shouldn’t rely on that as justification in your narrative.

A true feminist narrative is not actually “girl power”. As a genre, it’s what happens to women when they reject societal norms and gender roles to go their own way. The lives they live and the consequences they face, the realities of their situations and their choices. Responsibility is taken. It’s not just men v. women, but also women v. women. The women who stand by and benefit from the social structure/gender politics, and those who don’t. Their stories. It’s an exploration of humanity. It’s humanizing.

The trick to making women real is not in wish fulfillment, it’s in rejecting the idea that any woman (especially white women) receives special status based on her gender.

Think about the situation from the perspective of the person in it, the considerations they have rather than thinking about it from the perspective of “my character is the protagonist”. Don’t assume main character standing will ever or should ever protect a character from consequences, just like expectations about their gender doesn’t.

They’re in a bar full of strangers that see them as two, fairly equal, people having a disagreement.

A Bar Full of Witnesses? Not a Great Place to Fight

The problem with bars is that people are already primed for violent altercations to occur. Not everyone is violent, but when people get drunk they can get argumentative, and that argumentative can often escalate into violence. This is both men and women, so there are no gender protections here. The people there are also ready to deal with it if the fights break out.

What I said above about people intervening? Yeah, it’s a great way to make a situation go from bad to worse. Doubly bad for a character trying to travel incognito. More than that, does she know who this guy is?

In the Frank Miller comic Sin City, in “The Big Fat Kill”, Dwight ends up in a scuffle with some drunks where they all end up dead. What was the problem? Cops. Jackie Boy was a cop, crooked cop but still a cop. All the trouble spirals out from there. Think you’re killing someone dumb but no, the drunk is a goddamn hero cop.

Even if she isn’t a spy and it’s just a fight, if she’s gotta don’t do it in the bar.

Bad idea.

This is especially true if she isn’t a regular and the drunk is, where the joint is more likely filled with his friends and acquaintances willing to jump to his defense. More than that, we’ve got a bartender forced to maintain his business, his money, his tips. Odds are he’ll side with his regulars.

I guarantee you that to the average person crippling a guy for unwanted advances is actually over the line.

It’s a terrible Catch 22.

So, where does that leave her?

What Does It Get Me?

The quintessential question when planning out any scene. Weighing the benefits versus the cost. Is there a reason this scene needs to happen? Why do you want it to happen? What do you the author get out of it? What do your characters (yes, plural) get out of it? What function does it serve in the story? Why is it important?

What does it get you?

How does this act help you achieve your goals?

In no way is this me saying don’t do this. In fact, there’s a very specific reason to start a fight.

Create a Distraction

Starting a fight is a great distraction for all the reasons listed above. Your character gets everyone’s attention, they’re all looking at them, and in the distraction, they slip away to achieve whatever goal they came there for in the first place. It’s a huge clusterfuck.

That’s the point.

Distraction.

Which, in this case, deck the guy. Punch him in the throat or the nose, then kick him into the nearest table of drunken, angry, and argumentative idiots. (Basically drive the foot into the stomach and thrust forward rather than up into what works as a shove more than a kick, so he stumbles backwards. It’s called a push kick for a reason.)

There’s always a chance they’ll come back at her, but hey. If she doesn’t have time to bait and a distraction is needed then that’ll work.

Thus, drunken angry escalation commences.

It isn’t the best solution, it’ll also ensure she can never go back to that bar.

So, write wisely.

-Michi

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Doribull Thoughts/Defense

Okay, so I am attempting to write a respectful dialogue here, not invalidate people’s legitimate triggers. If you don’t like Dorian/Bull and find it problematic, that is totally fine and you are completely entitled to dislike it based on what doesn’t work for you, or what you find unpalatable (for lack of a better, stronger word), and you are so, so valid in doing what’s best for you by blacklisting it, ignoring it, etc., doing whatever you need to do. I respect that, I do. Tagging this specifically so people can avoid it if they need to.

But I have some serious issues with some of the arguments (and, in my opinion, some assumptions that aren’t supported by in-game canon) that are used to insist that these two MUST have an abusive relationship and this is the only legitimate interpretation, because I, personally, don’t agree, and I find some of the actual arguments REALLY super problematic in and of themselves. So in the interest of discussion rather than argument, I want to articulate why I don’t share this interpretation, and why some of the arguments for it trouble me in terms of Dorian’s agency as a character. This ended up a fucking TL;DR manifesto in length, but I wanted to be thorough and draw in all the canon evidence I could to try and make a case for why I respect the concerns but don’t share them, because this is a subject I don’t take lightly, as I have been in emotionally manipulative relationships myself in the past.

 

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purplewolfranger  asked:

it's not the mlp fandom as a whole most of us have issue with, it's the bronies - you know, the grown-ass men who sexualize the fuck out of cartoon horses on a children's show? we don't want them to come into steven universe and do the same thing to this great show that they did to mlp. they took a great, cute little children's show and totally perverted it, and while i know that happens all the time, that doesn't make it right for ANYONE to do. i don't want it to happen on a larger scale in su.

Then don’t look up NSFW content. This is the internet, if it exists then there is porn of it. Right or wrong isn’t a factor. Cartoons for kids have been sexualized LONG before MLP:FiM came along. That said, I honestly don’t give a flying rats ass if people make porn of cartoons, horses or not. If that what it takes for you to juice your pants, fine. As I said, I’m all for artistic freedom.

And really I see way more Gem porn than Pony porn anyway. And it’s not like Bronies storm into other fandoms with the intention of watching it only to make porn of it anyway. Seriously. “Grown ass men”, huh? That’s actually funny. Okay, the only reason why porn of cartoons is seen as bad now is because of men openly admitting to liking a show for little girls… because as we all know, only men can create porn of a kids cartoon!

“Totally perverted it”? Have you been living under a rock?? They’ve done no such thing.

I wont deny the porn, not at all. I’m just not going to single the Bronies out as the only creeps to do it. Every fandom does it. Every fandom. All of them. All. No Exceptions. Some hide it better than others. Bronies got into the spotlight for a while so their debauchery just got more noticed, but that doesn’t mean they do it any more or any less than every other godforsaken fandom.

Now… will there be an increase in porn? Probs. But that’ll happen based on the number of new fans anyway. It’s just numbers. If there is an increase in porn, it’ll get buried under all the normal fanart much like how the porn across many fandoms do now.

In short, don’t be so paranoid. If you don’t wanna see porn, take precautions to avoid it. But as it stands right now, I run into way more gem pron than pony porn. Simple fact of the matter is that Bronies have a bad rap and people like to blow their old shame way out of proportion and make it seem like it was way worse than it ever was (due to the subject matter and the fact they think adult men are solely responsible for it) and make it seem like all Bronies do all the time is pony porn.

No. Just no. I’m a Brony / Pegasister for crying out loud, I know these fucking losers and they’re not porn spammers. They do their own thing. Speaking of which, so what if they want to post porn of something? If you don’t like it or agree with it, fine. But some people dig it, that’s fine, even if you - and a lot of people - think it’s creepy. Everyone is different. So long as they make sure to brand it as NSFW and such, it’s fine, make sure only peeps who want to see it will see it.

Like me, I keep the safe search off all the time. All the time. Because I’m down for the adult content… unless it’s bad art. Then ew. And even with safe search off, I rarely run into pony porn, I actually have to hunt for that (I don’t really like it, I only go looking for research purposes). Meanwhile, almost every other damn fandom, porn is almost right off the bat.

See what I’m getting at here? It’s not the Bronies. They have a bad rab is all, sure there are a few who are not good, but most just wanna enjoy things and make cute fanart for it. They don’t exist to fuck up fandoms. What fucks it all up is as soon as Bronies wanna get into something new, other fandoms put walls up and make a huge deal over it and blow it all out of proportion because Bronies have a bad rap. If people would pull their heads out of their asses and stop assuming shit, there wouldn’t be a problem. And again on the right/wrong thing… who dictates that shit anyway?? Ohhhh is there an art police I don’t know about or something? It ain’t a matter of right or wrong, it’s neither right nor wrong in my humble opinion. It’s just art, art is art is art, from the high class, to low brow, to the most vile and dirty porn. One could argue it’s not “right” of me to draw fanart of a character and intentionally give that character a bigger bust because I just like drawing big boobs… regardless if I sexualize them or not. One could argue it’s not right for me to draw women with huge, to an improbable extent in some cases, rack because it’s sexualizing women by using an impossible figure or whatever. One could argue it’s wrong from me to draw sexy topless women for the sake of boobs and only boobs because, well whatever.

You could argue anything is “wrong” or “not right” when really, it’s a matter of opinion, not cold hard fact. It’s not right to you? Okay, cool. Someone else loves cartoon porn? Okay, cool. Me, I watch Hentai on a semi-regular basis so I’m not easily phased by much. But I can look at something porny and not be phased in anyway, sometimes I look at porn not to get off but just to look. Anyway…

In short: It’s all bullshit. Y’all paranoid over something that’s been exaggerated to hell and back. If it exists, there is porn of it, that’s all there is too it, literally nothing is sacred in this world and y’all need to understand this fact even if it squicks you. Bronies ain’t gonna do anything that the SU fandom hasn’t already done, they’ll make their Gemsona’s, maybe some will draw some porn, but mostly they’ll babble on about the show forever and dump loads of cute fanart for us to enjoy.

Bronies ain’t fucking conniving perverts hell bent on sexing up everything they take interest in. They’re just people, some of them just so happen to draw ponies frick-fracking. No different than other fandoms, except that it’s ponies. But they are nothing special. And I assure you, a large chunk of pony porn is drawn by women. A large chunk of cartoon porn over all is done by women. Women have just as much capacity to be nasty ass perverts as men do. I apologize for the long reply, but I just wanted to be really clear on this, not just to you but to anyone who might be thinking some same things.

But by all means, feel free to hate the porn. But fact of the matter is, you can’t stop it from happening, you can’t stop Bronies from coming into the SU fandom if they want to, you can’t and that’s a fact. Bitch, moan, complain all you goddamn want but it wont change anything. Meanwhile, you’ll still end up with a bunch of Bronies in the fandom but you’ll probs think otherwise due to the lack of porn - if that’s going to be your only go-by to tell or not. Otherwise, how would you ever know? I’m quite certain there are loads of bronies in the SU fandom right now, just enjoying SU for what it is.

People like what they like and you can’t stop that tho, no matter how you feel about it. This goes for you and everyone else. I’m saying just keep an open mind, don’t just assume negative things of Bronies. If you do that then you’ll just accept any Gem porn from a Brony as proof you were “right” about all Bronies and that’s basically being a biased ass, which is distinctly uncool.

Instead of being assholes, instead welcome new fans, if more porn shows up, suggest to the posters they should tag their adult content. Sometimes people just make mistakes, forget to tag. The point is, don’t form a preemptive lynch mob, be kind and understanding even to those who do things you don’t necessarily agree with. Extent a friendly hand and people will be more inclined to respect your wishes and ways within a fandom. And if you get that one egotistical arrogant ass who comes along, well… some people, like that, they deserve a verbal slap to the face for being assholes rather than their specific content.

So basically, don’t hate groups just because you THINK they’ll do something bad. If you never give them a chance to prove themselves, they never will. That’s basically fandom prejudice. And last I checked, prejudice is bad. The negatives always get accentuated, but no one ever talks about the good the Bronies do, do they? No, my point exactly.

So it’s not even about the porn, it’s about assuming Bronies are all about porn. Crap, that was long winded, sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen but I feel I’ve made some good overall points. Either way, you have your own opinion, I’m just suggesting you keep an open mind.

Side note: I know my language seems harsh, but please don’t take it personally, I’m not like trying to insult you or be rude or anything. I just swear a lot and speak harshly, I just don’t want it to be misinterpreted.

anonymous asked:

ok hear me out: rubberbang where theyre high school classmates and also dating and one day ross stays home and texts dan filthy shit while hes just sitting in math class and hes just left there to deal with his boner

(These are taking longer than expected, so I’m gonna go watch a movie and fill the last three either afterwards or tomorrow. I will get to them, I promise!)

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anonymous asked:

Do you know if a person can get better at drawing while looking at references? I'm not good at freestyle but if I can look at references I can spot on draw it and alter some things. I don't know, I don't think it helps improve art skills, but I wanted to ask an expert in art lol

OH ASDFGHASDL omg thanks im mean im no professional but I’ll tell you what i know.

 REFERENCES. ARE. YOUR. SAVIOR.

Do not dismiss using references at all. There’s is no shame in using them and it’s really sad to see that people think like, “oh an artist can draw off the top his/her head anything at any time-” no that’s not how it works. Artist’s are meant to use reference. They’re supposed to use reference. All the time?? Not at all, but if your sitting down and planning a big illustration or something that you want to look good and is going to take a lot of time, yes, oh yes. Reference is how you learn to draw correctly, learn what things should look like and resemble; from real life is where you take your subject and make it your own. 

AND REMEMBER THAT REFERENCE ISN’T MEANT TO BE COPIED EXACTLY. It’s just supposed to help you know what a pose or fold should look like, and you take it from there. You’re correct in altering some things and not copying them line for line. Don’t just copy reference; that defeats the purpose of art! If having art look exactly like the real thing was the purpose, cameras would have disposed of artists long ago. (also you know, copyright reasons lol)

Reference makes your art look better and more believable, even if your art is stylized or cartoony. 

When I went to San Francisco for summer art classes, my Illustration teacher (a working professional) showed us on her laptop and all her MILLIONS OF FOLDERS OF REFERENCES. Folds, poses, lighting, backgrounds, all of it. And she showed us past and previous artists that used references for their artwork, you might recognize some of them:

Norman Rockwell, world-renown and famous for his illustrations on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. took photos of his models for his final illustrations; see how he didn’t exactly copy the models. His art looks like his art, not like a photo. (i was so lucky to see an exhibit with some of his work >v<)

Gil Elvgren, one of the most famous pin-up artists: (he makes his figures more slender and curvy and perhaps more busty, but the anatomy, the folds, everything is correct and yet not exactly copied.)

and my most favorite artist of all of them, J. C. Leyendecker: the artist that made up the idea to give you mother flowers on Mother’s Day, the artist that coined having a newborn baby represent the new year, the artist credited for designing the plump, jovial, Santa Claus with the trademark red coat with white fur trim that everyone in the world knows today, and the artist that made it tradition to have fireworks on 4th of July. HE DID THAT. THAT WAS J.C. LEYENDECKER. AND HE USED REFERENCE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 

(his partner Charles Beach was his model reference for the famous Arrow Collar ads, and many other of his works)

So, does reference improve your art skills and make your art look better?? FUCKING YES.

So start making some folders on your desktop and start filling them with referenece images; you will be thankful later that you did.

A Chance at Grace

Robin is dying.

His mouth is parched, his head pounding, his legs wobble when he tries to stand. He falls back to the straw pallet, presses the balls of his palms against his eyes until he sees little explosions of light. The dull, monotone rhythm of a builder’s hammer, the cock’s crow, the cathedral bells chiming, it all threatens to split his skull open. Perhaps it would be best if his head were to explode straight away, he thinks as the torture intensifies. A goblet of wine, that’s what he needs, or a jug of ale, or mead—the strong, heady brew of which he tossed a few down last night—

He’s hungover.

Again.

God, he is scum.

Robin opens his eyes, forces them to stay so against the blinding, murderous brightness of sunshine streaming in through the window (how very un-English of it, and just how much of said perception is liquor-induced?). A row of pallets stands lined up in the oblong room, his the first by the wall adorned by a simple wooden cross, and he’s the luxury of a night stand with a jug and mug waiting. He attempts to stand again, stomach roiling in protest.

“Look who’s finally woken up.”

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