i used to use the this quote all the time at my teachers

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

OneNote is literally god’s gift to this earth. [ header art ]

I downloaded OneNote onto my mac air through my school’s office365 [which is a microsoft email login thing but is easily accessible on any kind of device and you can just delete the email acc later if you want]. OneNote can be accessed on a laptop, computer or ipad/tablet. i believe OneNote is available on the appstore as well?

I use OneNote as a digital bullet journal / planner and to write down all my study notes. i also have actual books for my study notes but i tend to prefer OneNote.

OneNote is super easy to use! think of it like an actual book:


1. DESIGNING THE COVER

When you open OneNote for the first time it will ask you to create a Notebook. You can name it whatever you wish and even choose the colour of it! You can have as many Notebooks as you like, so go wild !!


2. CHAPTERS

In your Notebook, you can have “chapters”, called sections or tabs. Depending on whether you use OneNote as a bujo or for study notes, these tabs can look like this:


3. PAGES

Time to fill your chapters! These pages will contain all of your content. Whether that’s a weekly spread in your bujo or a page on DNA molecules in your humanbio Notebook. You can have as many as you want! Pages on OneNote tend to look like this:

Once you click on which page you want, it’ll open !

4. SPREADS [for planners]

Spreads are completely personalised and customised depending on you! Anything you do in your physical bujo you can do on OneNote. Habit checker? Tables? Homework diary? Inspirational quotes? Cute doodles? Day-to-Day planner? 

This is just an example of mine, you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT with yours !!


5. STUDY NOTES

My study notes are basically just what my teacher says during class or puts on the board, which is why they’re almost always in bullet point form like this:

But obviously, you can edit your notes to be however you’d like them !!


6. OTHER INFO

One feature i really like about one note is the fact you can make the paper look like whatever you want. such as blank paper, margined + lined paper, graph paper etc. this is really helpful when writing notes and especially drawing diagrams !!

also, across the top is literally everything you’ll ever need.


IN CONCLUSION:

Please download OneNote !! it’s so user-friendly and customisable. I was honestly shocked that more people weren’t using OneNote in the studyblr community. It’s such a lifesaver near test + exam time because all of your notes are in one place !!

also, OneNote autosaves and doesnt close if you close your laptop [as long as you’re not logged out or the computer is shut down] so you’ll never lose your work !!

HERE is another post about me yelling about OneNote lmao

If you have any questions or problems, feel free to ask !! ((-:

  hey guys, just thought i’d whip together a list of some of my favourite authors most motivational   quotes. i especially love using these in bullet journal spreads. hope everyone is having a wonderful new year!            


          oscar wilde 

  “we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” 

  “always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much” 

  “with freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy?” 

  “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” 

  “be yourself; everyone else is already taken” 

  “to live is the rarest thing in the world. most people exist, that is all” 

  “it is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it" 

  "you can never be overdressed or overeducated” 

  “yes: i am a dreamer. for a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world”


          fyodor dostoyevsky

   "there is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it" 

  “power is given only to those who dare to lower themselves and pick it up. only one thing matters, one thing; to be able to dare” 

  “happiness does not lie in happiness, but in the achievement of it” 

  “the cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month”

  “to live without hope is to cease to live” 


         james joyce 

  “i am tomorrow, or some future day, what i establish today. i am today what i established yesterday or some previous day” 

  “a man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors… are the portals of discovery” 

  “he found in the world without as actual what was in his world within as possible” 

  “life is the great teacher” 


         charles dickens 

  “the sun himself is weak when he first rises, and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on” 

  “there are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast”“a loving heart is the truest wisdom” 

  “i ask only to be free. the butterflies are free” 

  “we forge the chains we wear in life” 

  “an idea, like a ghost, must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself” 

  “no one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else” 


         franz kafka 

  “start with what is right, rather than with what is acceptable” 

  “anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old” 

  “logic may indeed be unshakeable, but it cannot withstand a man who is determined to live” 

  “a book should serve as the axe for the frozen sea within us” 

  “believing in progress does not mean believing that any progress has yet been made” 

  “my ‘fear’ is my substance, and probably the best part of me” 


         ivan turgenev 

  “we sit in the mud, my friend, and reach for the stars” 

  “if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin” 

  “time sometimes flies like a bird, and sometimes crawls like a worm, but people may be unusually happy when they do not even notice if time has gone quickly or slowly” 

  “don’t be ruled by others; to belong to oneself- the whole savour of life lies in that” 

  “we’re young, we’re not monsters, no fools: we’ll conquer happiness for ourselves” 


         george orwell 

  “happiness can exist only in finding acceptance" 

  "the essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection” 

  “freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear” 


         victor hugo 

  “laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face” 

  “music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent” 

  “curiosity is one of the forms of feminine bravery” 

  “to learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark” 

  “to love beauty is to see light” 

  “adversity makes men” 

  “our acts make or mar us, we are the children of our own deeds” 

  “there is nothing like a dream to create the future” 

  “all the forces in the world are not as powerful as an idea whose time has come”

  “perseverance, secret of all triumphs”

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao

Listen I know we all love bilingual Lance and boy oh boy guess who’s here with some bilingual headcanons!!

•Lance used to speak fluent spanish as a child, but when he started going to public school, he just … Lost that ability.
•Lance can understand some words and phrases in spanish but doesn’t really know how to form sentences. (he knows all the cursewords and tries to use them as much as he can bc that’s Cool™)
•He can understand enough words to get the gist of what people are saying.
•Lance started to feel kind of detatched from his family since he couldn’t speak spanish and basically everyone else (save for the younger kids) could.
•His family doesn’t put any effort into teaching him spanish bc they want him to be more American than Hispanic (a sad truth that I unfortunately experienced)
•Lance starts to take spanish classes seriously when he gets to high school. He slowly learns how to form proper sentences, and he’s at the top of his class bc he wants to connect with his family language-wise. He tries hard, and grasps the language without any help from his fluent-spanish-speaking parents.
•One time, he had to do a project in spanish class, but he didn’t know how to form the sentence he wanted. So, he goes to his parents for help.
•Big mistake.
•His parents are from different regions of south america, so they speak different forms of spanish. Whatever he’s learning at school is. Not. The same.
•He had to go back and forth from his dad to his mom for one goddamn question like holy crow.
•"No, no! Your father is wrong! I speak PROPER spanish!“
-That was an actual quote from my mother it’s legit.
•His father ends up being right. At least in terms of School Spanish.
•Lance’s teacher ended up taking points away anyway bc she knew he wasn’t capable of speaking in such eloquent, complex spanish.
•He once went over his vocab list with his fam since he forgot his spanish dictionary at school. Another mistake. Don’t ask your different-spanish-speaking parents for translations when they’re in the same room.
•They spent more time arguing about the translation than actually translating.
•Mom: “Aficion? I’ve never heard that word in my life! It doesn’t exist!”
•"It means ceiling fan, mom.“
•M: “Oh! Then you mean ‘hincha’!”
•Dad: “Hincha?! Are you trying to teach our son slang?!”
•"Wait, that’s slang?!“
•"Well, ya-”
•D: “Aficion es the tiki tiki.”
•M: “No. El tiki tiki es la hincha!”
•They slowly seep into full spanish and Lance is watching on in amusement.
•He ends up texting his aunt about the right answer, and she tells him that it’s aficion.
•Mom loses the argument.
•He has a presentation in class for an oral test. He knows he has a great accent and great understanding of spanish, but when he goes up to speak, he can’t say anything.
•Everything comes out slow and stuttered, but he still gets an A+ bc his pronunciation is on point.
•There’s a non-hispanic/latinx kid in his class. They get straight A’s and speak faster than Lance. Lance is jealous of them. It’s not fair that a person who isn’t surrounded by latin culture can speak it so well, while he can’t.
•They’re the top 2 in the class, but Lance is always second. He’s always second in everything.
•Eventually, Lance learns enough Spanish to understand full sentences. He gets a giddiness in his chest when he can understand EXACTLY what is being said in spanish. He loves it.
•Even when his parents are scolding him in spanish, he tries his best not to smile bc he UNDERSTANDS!! •He tries to get his parents/family to communicate with him in Spanish more bc he’s so proud that he can FINALLY understand them. He feels connected to them again, and loves the feeling of embracing his heritage at last.
•Then … His family asks hin why he never talks back in spanish.
•Lance is still shy and insecure about his spanish, bc sometimes he makes mistakes. And sometimes, fluent speakers are not the nicest when it comes to that. He’s afraid they’ll make fun of him bc he’s still learning.
•He goes to a restaurant that has people who only speak spanish in it. He then has to order from the menu.
•He asks for a soda. When the waitress leaves, his entire family is beaming at him. He asks why.
•They gush about his perfect pronunciation and format. They’re proud of him. They had no idea he knew it so well.
•Lance is almost brought to tears bc his family is just as proud of him as he is - especially on something so important to him.
•He talks and laughs with his family at dinner again after that.
•When he gets in space, he tries to keep himself knowledgeable in spanish. He doesn’t want to forget again.
•He listens to old spanish radio shows and songs all of the time. He listens to sports, no matter which kind, in spanish.
•He tries to teach the other paladins Spanish. He grins when they start cussing under their breath in spanish. Sometimes, the paladins will just slip into it and they’ll forget that they’re speaking another language bc it’s so second-nature to them.
•But Lance notices, and it feels a little more like home.

When I was nine, possibly ten, an author came to our school to talk about writing. His name was Hugh Scott, and I doubt he’s known outside of Scotland. And even then I haven’t seen him on many shelves in recent years in Scotland either. But he wrote wonderfully creepy children’s stories, where the supernatural was scary, but it was the mundane that was truly terrifying. At least to little ten year old me. It was Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity with a bonny braw Scottish-ness to it that I’d never experienced before.

I remember him as a gangling man with a wiry beard that made him look older than he probably was, and he carried a leather bag filled with paper. He had a pen too that was shaped like a carrot, and he used it to scribble down notes between answering our (frankly disinterested) questions. We had no idea who he was you see, no one had made an effort to introduce us to his books. We were simply told one morning, ‘class 1b, there is an author here to talk to you about writing’, and this you see was our introduction to creative writing. We’d surpassed finger painting and macaroni collages. It was time to attempt Words That Were Untrue.

You could tell from the look on Mrs M’s face she thought it was a waste of time. I remember her sitting off to one side marking papers while this tall man sat down on our ridiculously short chairs, and tried to talk to us about what it meant to tell a story. She wasn’t big on telling stories, Mrs M. She was also one of the teachers who used to take my books away from me because they were “too complicated” for me, despite the fact that I was reading them with both interest and ease. When dad found out he hit the roof. It’s the one and only time he ever showed up to the school when it wasn’t parents night or the school play. After that she just left me alone, but she made it clear to my parents that she resented the fact that a ten year old used words like ‘ubiquitous’ in their essays. Presumably because she had to look it up.

Anyway, Mr Scott, was doing his best to talk to us while Mrs M made scoffing noises from her corner every so often, and you could just tell he was deflating faster than a bouncy castle at a knife sharpening party, so when he asked if any of us had any further questions and no one put their hand up I felt awful. I knew this was not only insulting but also humiliating, even if we were only little children. So I did the only thing I could think of, put my hand up and said “Why do you write?”

I’d always read about characters blinking owlishly, but I’d never actually seen it before. But that’s what he did, peering down at me from behind his wire rim spectacles and dragging tired fingers through his curly beard. I don’t think he expected anyone to ask why he wrote stories. What he wrote about, and where he got his ideas from maybe, and certainly why he wrote about ghosts and other creepy things, but probably not why do you write. And I think he thought perhaps he could have got away with “because it’s fun, and learning is fun, right kids?!”, but part of me will always remember the way the world shifted ever so slightly as it does when something important is about to happen, and this tall streak of a man looked down at me, narrowed his eyes in an assessing manner and said, “Because people told me not to, and words are important.”

I nodded, very seriously in the way children do, and knew this to be a truth. In my limited experience at that point, I knew certain people (with a sidelong glance to Mrs M who was in turn looking at me as though she’d just known it’d be me that type of question) didn’t like fiction. At least certain types of fiction. I knew for instance that Mrs M liked to read Pride and Prejudice on her lunch break but only because it was sensible fiction, about people that could conceivably be real. The idea that one could not relate to a character simply because they had pointy ears or a jet pack had never occurred to me, and the fact that it’s now twenty years later and people are still arguing about the validity of genre fiction is beyond me, but right there in that little moment, I knew something important had just transpired, with my teacher glaring at me, and this man who told stories to live beginning to smile. After that the audience turned into a two person conversation, with gradually more and more of my classmates joining in because suddenly it was fun. Mrs M was pissed and this bedraggled looking man who might have been Santa after some serious dieting, was starting to enjoy himself. As it turned out we had all of his books in our tiny corner library, and in the words of my friend Andrew “hey there’s a giant spider fighting a ghost on this cover! neat!” and the presentation devolved into chaos as we all began reading different books at once and asking questions about each one. “Does she live?”— “What about the talking trees” —“is the ghost evil?” —“can I go to the bathroom, Miss?” —“Wow neat, more spiders!”

After that we were supposed to sit down, quietly (glare glare) and write a short story to show what we had learned from listening to Mr Scott. I wont pretend I wrote anything remotely good, I was ten and all I could come up with was a story about a magic carrot that made you see words in the dark, but Mr Scott seemed to like it. In fact he seemed to like all of them, probably because they were done with such vibrant enthusiasm in defiance of the people who didn’t want us to.

The following year, when I’d moved into Mrs H’s class—the kind of woman that didn’t take away books from children who loved to read and let them write nonsense in the back of their journals provided they got all their work done—a letter arrived to the school, carefully wedged between several copies of a book which was unheard of at the time, by a new author known as J.K. Rowling. Mrs H remarked that it was strange that an author would send copies of books that weren’t even his to a school, but I knew why he’d done it. I knew before Mrs H even read the letter.

Because words are important. Words are magical. They’re powerful. And that power ought to be shared. There’s no petty rivalry between story tellers, although there’s plenty who try to insinuate it. There’s plenty who try to say some words are more valuable than others, that somehow their meaning is more important because of when it was written and by whom. Those are the same people who laud Shakespeare from the heavens but refuse to acknowledge that the quote “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them“ is a dick joke.

And although Mr Scott seems to have faded from public literary consumption, I still think about him. I think about his stories, I think about how he recommended another author and sent copies of her books because he knew our school was a puritan shithole that fought against the Wrong Type of Wordes and would never buy them into the library otherwise. But mostly I think about how he looked at a ten year old like an equal and told her words and important, and people will try to keep you from writing them—so write them anyway.

Ok so I’ve finally gotten around to doing this highly requested post based off this post and I’m sorry to all those who had been waiting for ages for it to come out but here it is!!!

How to Annotate a Novel Efficiently

Look I’m actually doing the play Medea at the moment so this can be used for other texts apart from novels too!

Like I’ve said before, I know lots of people don’t want to taint their texts with writing and highlighting, but to me, it is so so satisfying when I finish with a fully annotated book with tabs flying out of every page and all that, plus it acts as a sweet resource once it’s done.

((Hopefully by the time you’ve gotten around to this level of annotating, you’ve read through your text already and maybe even put down some initial thoughts in the margins.))

To put it simply, I have three levels of coordination when it comes to annotating a novel: words, tabs and sticky notes.

1. Sticky notes

  • Use for big chunks of text you can’t fit in the margins of your book, such as summaries of characters, themes, etc
  • They can also get those big chunks of info to stand out from the rest of the novel
  •  If you’re reading a larger text with chapters, it’s quite handy to use big sticky notes to summarise each section. 


2. Tabs (and highlighting)

  • Yep so these are the tabs I have sticking out of my book and they’re used for quick references, where I can easily search up a type of quote quickly in the novel without having to flip through every page.
  • The colours of the tabs I use are the same colours as my highlighters, so it is easy to see where the quote is and which tab it corresponds to.
  • ACTUALLY HIGHLIGHT the specific quote rather than leaving a tab there by itself, for future reference when you need a specific quote, but if you’ve got a massive chunk that is just too important to pick out a small quote, use a square bracket on the inside margin. Smaller quotes are better.
  • Have a tab for broad topics such as characters, themes, literary devices, plot developments, context, etc. If you have more colours, you can always make your categories more specific (for me, the character of Medea is separate to the rest of the characters)
  • I write the main idea on the tab itself, a.k.a. the reason why I highlighted or tabbed that quote there.
  • Which quotes to highlight depends on

a)     What we go through in class

b)     What is written as an important quote in the text guide we are given/the internet suggests

c)     What I think is important. If you’re not sure, ask yourself WHY is that quote important and if you can answer that, highlight it!!!

 

3. Words

  • The further explanation of quotes is written on the actual pages, and often right under a tab to elaborate.
  • I recommend using a thin pen as in 0.38 to really fit in as much as possible.
  • This step as well as tabbing is so so important, because you can highlight as much as you want, but it really won’t mean anything until you’ve written down its significance, and even if you have an amazing memory, this is vital ok. Even a few words along the margin explaining the quote can mean the difference between good writing and great writing in your upcoming essay.
  • What do I actually write? If it’s a literary device, I’ll name it (e.g. Metaphor) and explain its symbolism, or the author’s intention for putting that in. If it’s a theme related quote, I’ll explain the message that the author is trying to convey through that quote. If it’s a character related quote, I’ll explain how that quote adds to their character, maybe finding contrasts, etc.
  • Supplies that I used were:

- Mildliners (pink, orange, yellow, blue, aqua; gotta get that colour coding)

- Pilot Frixion Point

- Uni-ball Signo TSI (erasable like the frixion pen so that if I’m not too sure about what I’ve written as an annotation, I can check with the teacher and erase if need be)

- A set of 1000 tabs in total, divided among pink, orange, yellow, green and blue

- Pastel square sticky notes

As an optional step, I highly recommend making use of the back cover or spare pages in the book. I use them for writing definitions of recurring words, good vocabulary to use in the future when writing the essay and also character maps, explaining the relationship between each character.

I hope you all find this helpful!

((disclaimer: this is just how I do it so don’t shank me pls))

Kate xx

170618 // I haven’t made a post like this in a while, but I’m revising for an exam right now and it’s the last thing I want to be doing so I’m procrastinating (don’t follow my lead kids).

How I use Digital Notes

I’ll make a more detailed post about how I study at some point, but for now:

  • I use microsoft onenote, but you can use whatever program you feel comfortable with.
    • Useful features of onenote include the organisation into notebooks, sections, and tabs, search function, equation support, tagging, and formatting options (inc. different heading styles).
    • You can find really great posts about onenote quite easily if you’re interested in how it works (I would 100% recommend it).
  • Throughout the year I type up my class notes, summarising information and organising it into a sensible order.
    • This took a lot of discipline and I fell off the bandwagon quite a bit. I initially intended to type up my notes from the day every evening, but I found it’s more realistic to just do it as often as possible and to aim to finish each topic’s notes before I move onto the next one.
  • When I come to revise for exams I will rewrite and summarise my notes on paper (writing out notes helps me remember them, but this may not work for you)
    • When I’m doing the first few past papers I’ll have my notes with me so I can look things up until I can do a paper without them.
      • I find this is more effective than using the mark scheme to help as the mark scheme basically gives you the answers.

Why Make Digital Notes?

Obviously digital notes don’t work for everyone, but I find they’re much more useful to have than notes on paper, at least before you start revising.

  • The main benefits of digital notes are:
    • typing is faster than writing
    • search functions (depending on the program) to look up information quickly
    • neater and faster formatting
    • you can back them up somewhere else so you don’t have to worry about losing or damaging them
    • you can bring all your notes with you without it weighing a tonne (assuming your laptop/tablet doesn’t weigh a tonne)
    • copy and paste! Ofc use this as infrequently as possible, but it’s useful for quotes etc.
    • pictures without the effort of drawing or printing out and sticking in
    • cheaper as you don’t have to buy pens and paper as often
    • an excuse to bring your computer into school and then go online shopping and play games during really boring classes no I haven’t done this what are you talking about so you have access to google etc. to look things up whenever

Prioritising

  • The only reason I’ve managed to keep up with my notes throughout the year is because I don’t take any for maths and I’ve kind of fallen off the bandwagon for French (whoops). It’s a bit unrealistic to expect to keep up with all the notes for all your subjects (particularly if you’re doing gcses), so prioritise.
  • Subjects like maths tend to assess a skill rather than knowledge, so it’s probably more useful to do practice questions rather than make notes.
  • If you’re dropping a subject in a year and won’t touch it again make sure it’s actually worth making notes for the whole year.

In Class or After Class?

Whether you write notes on the computer during class or afterwards depends on the class.

  • I’ve got one particular teacher who flits back and forth between topics and often mentions things without going into detail because she assumes we’re too stupid to understand (not my favourite teacher ngl). So I use my laptop in her lessons so I can go back to topics we’ve already done and so I can google things to fact check (she frequently dumbs stuff down to inaccurate levels) and expand on points that she makes.
  • If you’ve got a teacher that tends to move super fast it might be worth having a computer with you as typing is generally much faster than writing.
    • If you can’t touch type learning is a really good idea, even just to improve the speed of your typing (I can’t actually touch type but I took a course until I learnt to use all my fingers when typing and now I type much faster). There’s lots of free online courses available.
  • Alternatively, you can just make all your class notes on paper and type up the important information when you get home.
    • This means you don’t have to worry about your class notes being neat enough to revise from; after you type them up you can file them or even throw them away to save space.
    • It also works as a review which is really good for putting the information into your long-term memory.
    • However it is also pretty time consuming so you’ve got to be super disciplined to keep on top of it.
  • In my school at a levels I’ve found it’s not too unusual to have a laptop out but it’s a bit odd to have one at gcses (idk about other schools). Obviously you shouldn’t care about what other people think, but if having your laptop/tablet with you will make you feel self-conscious and uncomfortable then leave it at home.
    • Also laptops and tablets are expensive and it’s understandable if you’d rather keep them safe at home.
    • That said, people do get used to it. Even if you’re the only one with a laptop/tablet, the novelty wears off quickly.
  • Some teachers don’t actually like students using laptops and tablets during class, so do check before you bring it in.

I hope this helped! Of course if you have any questions about this (or anything else) my ask is always open please ask me something

Here’s where I post this and find 56 typos :/

10 Tips From a Cosplayer

Okay, so I’ve been doin this nonsense for about 8 years now and here are my 10 biggest tips for anyone else doing this sadistic hobby (This is a bit geared towards people who make costumes just FYI. I will post another more geared for beginners or those who buy later)

1) Remember Why You Do This.

Maybe you showed up to con and were 1 of 74 Jinx’s. Or maybe your costume wasn’t as accurate as someone else’s. Or maybe it feels like everyone else made theirs and you bought yours. So what? Did you have fun? Did you meet friends, and/or bond with the people you came with? Unless you’re in the contests, remember that it ISN’T a contest. And even the contests are meant to be fun. Alternatively, don’t let any elitist fans ruin your fun.

2) Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously.

Remember that being a cosplayer doesn’t make you ‘more’ of a fan than someone who doesn’t. Remember that you do this for your own enjoyment and that is all that matters. Spend as long or as little as you want on a costume, end a con with 20 silly selfies and some new friends, compliment that other cosplayer in the same outfit because you clearly both have something in common, don’t think of them as competition.

3) Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help.

Parents, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbors, craft store employees, theater teachers, art teachers, people online. There are tons of people who could offer help with even little things like what glue to use on foam that needs heatshaping(non-flammable x-treme elmers glue is nice) , what paint to use on leggings (apparently fabric paint stretches with it just fine), ask your grandma what stitch is best for rounded edges on cotton (idk), ask a JoAnn’s associate what thread to use. In my experience store associates are extremely helpful, even with things like a second opinion on matching colors.

4) Use Coupons.

Seriously. If you can, set up an email just for coupons. Going to Michaels for a 2 dollar little thing of paint? Use that coupon they emailed you and now it’s 75 cents and you have more money for other things like fancy fabric or idk food. Check if any stores have student or teacher or senior discounts if that’s applicable, then you’ll have a discount even without coupons. Especially good for big purchases. If you’re buying everything at once there is almost definitely some sort of 5 off of 30 type of coupon out there. If you are able, this is a good way to set up a savings for con or your next costume maybe, just look at the receipt, see how much you saved and set that much (or a part) aside for food/hotel/gas/merch.

5) Look at your Source.

No matter how well you know your character or your design do not go very long without looking at the source. Working on a wig? Have a picture in front of you the whole time. Maybe sketch out the different angles beforehand. Going fabric shopping? Stare at the original. If you print out a reference pic know that it may be slightly off. If you’re doing a costume where the color seems different in every shot (like Rey from Star Wars) then pick the one you like. If you can, consider coloring or painting a swatch of the color on an index card and bringing it with you to compare. Seriously. Keep checking the source when working. It’s equivalent to “measure twice cut once”.

6) Measure Twice Cut Once.

Even in crunch. I know, it’s stressful and scary and frustrating but you know what is more frustrating and scary and stressful? It being 8pm the night before the con and you just cut that last bit of fabric too small. Or your wig too short. Seriously. Just double check yourself.

7) Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.

Outdated meme but useful tip. If you’re getting anxious to a difficult level, or exhausted physically or mentally  address it. Take a break. Take a nap. Eat a meal. Go for a walk. Watch an episode of that show you’re trying to cosplay. Play that game. Watch cosplay videos if you’re scared of losing motivation. Just don’t push yourself too hard or you risk messing up parts of your costume and more importantly, you risk hurting yourself. Don’t work until you accidentally stab yourself with a hot iron and have a panic attack. Would you rather spend 15 minutes playing with your cat or crying and bandaging yourself?


8) Use It.

Found some fabric you love for that SnK skirt thing, but it’s infused with glitter?Who cares, use it. Every cosplay you have seen of Red Hood has a lot of leather and cargo pants but you want skinny jeans and suede? Use it. The costume is for you. Make it how you want. To quote the great Hilary Duff “Why Not?” Also, go listen to that song if you need encouragement. 

9) Enjoy The Whole Process.

Maybe it is redundant at this point but seriously. Have fun. Not just at the con, party, photoshoot, meetup etc. Have a wig styling party. You finished that jacket? Nice, wear it out shopping and be proud. Make a playlist for each character you work on or general motivational music. 8-tracks.com is great for this too. Test those seams/that hairgel/ those shoes/ flexibility by putting on your jam and dancing around. Send snapchats to your friends when you test your make up. Skype your aunt to show off that circle skirt. Put your hat on your dog. 

10) Procrastination isn’t Great.

Probably don’t put off making your costume by making a list of tips for other people.

The Road To Good Grades

[Warning - A Very Lengthy Post]

A fellow student of mine wrote this when for my batch when we entered high school, and I thought I should share it with you ❤️ it’s been edited to make it more universal to you guys :D

Intro: Having the Courage to Study.
When we fail academically, we tend to point to two causes: stupidity and laziness. It’s so easy to say that we’re not smart enough, or that we just don’t want to try because it doesn’t really matter. But there’s another factor involved: fear. So many students have the strategy of not studying or not studying properly for an exam. Why? Because if you put low effort into something, then you should expect a low result. So many of us are afraid of trying and failing that we don’t even try. “What if my best isn’t good enough?” We’re afraid of giving our best because once we know our limits, we feel that much weaker. But life in school isn’t about not trying, it’s about accepting those limits and breaking them.To survive and ultimately thrive, you must have the courage to reach your full potential.That courage, that vigor, that strive to be better is what will keep you alive, not just in school but in the real world.

Guide:
- Sleep and Eat well.
We often lose sleep or skip meals in order to survive the rigors of life.But keep in mind, those choices in the rest and nourishment you receive have consequences. Having the energy to focus throughout the day is vital. Nobody wants to be tired, nobody can afford to be sick.

- Pay Attention in Class.
There’s a difference between passive hearing and active listening. Letting the teacher’s words wash over you like a warm shower is NOT the same as paying attention. Teachers are human beings, capable of expressing emotion and emphasis in their words and actions. There’s a reason why you learn from them rather than from a book or the internet. Catching what they’re trying to say is a skill that takes effort to learn.

**The skill of listening is one of the most important ones to develop because a teacher’s words are your last resort in an examination. If a quiz catches you by surprise, your memory of the class is the difference between A+ and an F.

- Take USABLE Notes.
Normally, humans are not capable of memorizing lessons entirely in their head.That’s what notes are for. Keep in mind that notes should be USABLE, they are not things that you make for the sake of looking or feeling productive. Each person has a specific style of learning and their notes should reflect that. Notes that are too long/elaborate, too short/simple, unreadable, or illogical are detrimental. Good notes should be aids in studying, not justification for carrying notebooks.

**Tips:
- Save time by using abbreviations or acronyms.
- Rearrange/reconstruct words or phrases for convenience.
ex. Famous Authors of America –> Impt. American Authors.
- Avoid copying verbatim unless necessary (quotes).
- Write down examples, esp. in science/math related subjects.
- If notes are incomplete, supplement them via reliable sources or your teacher.

- Practice.
There is more to studying than reading/note-taking. Practice is essential. This is especially true for Math-related subjects. Reading your notes before a Math exam is not really going to help you understand the problem or protect you from careless mistakes. The only way to improve in the subject is by doing the exercises and learning from both your success and failure. Memorizing definitions isn’t as important as using them. Being able to analyze, compare, and contrast is vital to survival.

- Review a Little Bit, Regularly.
Slow and steady wins the race. Students tend to read a ton of material before an exam. However, the human mind requires time in order to fully grasp ideas and concepts. Taking 10-20 minutes to read your notes after school daily can help in memorizing lessons, understanding themes, and recalling important points. Taking every subject’s lessons day by day will prevent you from being overwhelmed.

**Tip:
- When reading through your notes, picture yourself in the classroom with your classmates and teacher. The human mind is like a web, connected by images and sounds. Doing so can help you recall things written on the board or things mentioned by the teacher.

- Learn to Plan and Cram.
Working for the long-term and rushing for the short-term are two opposing ends of the spectrum. But if you don’t master both, you will suffocate in requirements.Time and energy are limited resources and the best scholars know how to get the most out of them. You can’t expect to be able to plan assignments weeks or days in advance the same way you can’t expect to make “academic excellence” in 30 minutes or less like a pizza delivery service.

**Tips:
- Periodic Exams, Long Tests, and Projects REQUIRE planning and coordination.
- Teachers can take up to 5 minutes setting up. Exploit the time.
- Lunchbreak, and the 20 minute breaks are the normal “"cram periods”“.


- Don’t Think of Difficulty.
“Easy” and “Hard” are relative terms. They mean different things to different people and ultimately, they should mean nothing to you. Feeling scared of a “tough” exam is harmful, as is feeling smug about an “easy” one. Study well so you can approach every test with confidence. Remember: it’s just as possible to perfect a difficult test as it is to fail an easy one.

- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others.
The world has approx. 7 billion people. There are always going to be people who are better than you at a given skill, the same way that there will always be people who are worse. Don’t consider them. Your life is your battle, and you’re going to have to fight it for yourself. Being discouraged by your friends’ high scores is as illogical as being encouraged by their low scores. There’s no reason to be proud of 1/10, even if it’s the highest score in the whole class.

- Don’t Blame Teachers.
Not all of your teachers are going to be fair or good at their jobs, whether you like it or not. Regardless, you can’t control your teacher’s incompetence or harshness but you can control the effort you put into their class. Read in advance, find other of info sources, and predict their requirements. The odds may be against you, but as a student you’re expected to beat them.

- Consult.
There’s no shame in asking for help. If you have difficulty in a subject, it always helps to consult with a teacher. Not only does it help in resolving any misconceptions/mistakes, it shows that you’re willing to take the time and effort to do well. To most teachers, that spirit is just as important as the final grade. Note: if a teacher knows that you have difficulty in their subject, they’ll probably take note of it in class which may be to your benefit.

- Find Your Own Strategy/Work Smart.
No single study strategy works universally. Everyone has their own specific style of learning and it’s up to you to find yours. If skimming through readings works for you then go ahead. If you’re the kind that needs to take notes, fine. It’s all about working both hard and smart, giving the most energy but finding the most effective way of using it. Humans are creative creatures. You might find that the best solution is one that no one has thought of before.

- Be Liable.
You need to be proactive in academics. Many students have the tendency to be caught off guard by a surprise quiz. They’ll often argue with the teacher, using the retort “Ma'am, you didn’t announce it!” as an excuse. Shaking off responsibility through ignorance is suicidal in this school. If you’re willing to take the risk of coming to class unprepared for the sake of being lazy, go ahead. Just be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

- Keep Moving Forward.
You’re human. Humans make mistakes. Learn from your errors but leave them where they belong; in the past. Everyone wants to get an A+ but you’ll never go that far with the weight of your failure hanging over your shoulder.

Conclusion: Don’t Take Academics too Seriously.
It seems counter-intuitive to end this guide with a statement like “Don’t Take Academics Too Seriously” but it’s something that everyone should remember. No matter no hard you try, you will fail at something. You’ll reach an obstacle that will knock you down to the ground and it will hurt like hell. You need to have something to fall back; friends, family, a hobby, an interest, etc. You don’t want to graduate and realize that you’re only good at earning numbers in a system.You could graduate this high school with the highest average in history but it won’t matter to anyone if you don’t know how you got it. Life is just like math, it’s not all
about the final answer. Your solution is just as important.

**Ultimately, your success as a scholar isn’t measured by a number on a piece of paper but in the difference you make in people’s lives. We’re not going to carry facts and theorems with us, but an attitude of trying to give our best no matter what the cost. That’s the most important lesson you can ever learn in school, but you’re not going to learn it from one subject or teacher. You’re going to live it everyday through every requirement and every grade receive.

Paint Me A Picture

(Play Me A Song)

Group: BTS

Pairing: SUGA X READER

Excerpt: “Wait a second,” your eyes had begun to adjust to the poor lighting as you watched Yoongi turn to look at you in interest, “are they still trying to set us up?”

Genre: fluff, teacher au

Length: 1.9k

A/N: draw me like one of your french girls

Originally posted by milky-melon

The staffroom was always quiet on Fridays, the teachers working without pause to complete all of their marking before the weekend for a welcome break. Usually, you would have been finishing off the last of your lesson plans during this time, but the tinny sound of music from headphones was distracting you. You looked across your desk at Yoongi, frowning as he nodded his head to the beat, writing notes on the song.

As an art teacher, you disliked Yoongi mainly because the art and music departments never got on. You had often shared many a heated argument about which subject was better and students would often laugh when they caught you mid-rant during a lesson.

Keep reading

Summary: Five snapshots of Jughead’s and Betty’s life when Jughead had nowhere to stay and Betty was hiding him in her room. 

Read on AO3

(Okay, I know this is long; I know. But seriously I can’t help the fact that I want to fill entire books with how adorably cute those two are! <3 So grab your snacks and drinks and dive in hahaha! Also I’m sorry if there are any typos, it’s really late and I’m way tired to notice my mistakes. I hope you all like it guys!!!) 


Two days had passed since the night Betty Cooper had stormed inside the Blue & Gold office like a wild force of nature, catching Jughead on the act as well as learning about his secret of not having a place of his own anymore, and coexisting under the same roof was going smoothly for the two friends. Every morning they would wake up way earlier than most people in their town, and especially than Betty’s parents, and Jughead, although not being a morning person, would sneak out with a grateful smile plastered on his lips and hands full with every new snack Betty seemed to always prepare for him, and every night she would sneak him back in once she knew her parents were retired to their bedroom for the night. Their system seemed to be flawless.

Today was a low-key Wednesday night and the first time they had the house entirely to themselves, since the Coopers had yet another late night at the newspaper, the two teens finally enjoying some peace and quiet without closed doors and hush whispers. Betty was sprawled over the bed, text books and colorful markers all around her as the blonde girl was trying to finish her homework, elbow holding herself up and chin resting on her palm, head aching over an answer sheet and calves crossing and uncrossing behind her. Jughead was over the window with blinds shut – he had made Betty promise that his secret would stay between them – sitting comfortably on her white desk chair and having his long legs crossed at the ankles, outstretched against the wooden window frame, while typing furiously on his laptop that rested on his lap. Since no one was at home he didn’t have to lurk at his usual booth at Pop’s. Plus, he found Betty’s presence a very good remedy for writer’s block.

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this a post (complete with links, pictures and other tips) dedicated to all of you struggling through what seems to be a hell they call high school. i get it. i struggled through it, all my friends endured it and you’re probably in the same boat of wanting to throw yourself down each flight of stairs that presents itself. but please don’t do that! i’m here to help, friend!! this is a comprehensive list of all the things i learned from my time in high school. i hope this helps at least one person out there! as always, if you guys have any questions, my ask box is open :)

before we get into it: this is a link to my study routine because some people have been asking for it and don’t have a section in this post to put it under so i’m just going to leave it here.

self-care advice:

okay so, i’m going to be completely upfront with you. high school is hard. it’s especially hard if you want to do well. i can honestly say that senior year took its toll in more ways than one when i didn’t take care of myself or pay attention to my body’s needs. so here are some self-care tips to keep you happy & healthy.

1. eat a lot & stay hydrated

when you’re trying to finish a 2000 word essay, or pretty much all but shoving toothpicks in your eyes to stay up studying for an exam the next day, food is your best friend. food helps your brain work better and you’ll find that your concentration levels increase when you study on a filled stomach. there are lots of brain foods out there like dark chocolate, nuts, vegetable sticks etc. but don’t forget to reward yourself with a food of your choice after you feel like you’ve done a lot of work. couple all of this with lots of water to keep you feeling refreshed.

2. pamper yourself

i am completely aware of the fact that high school students don’t have the time to go to a spa or sauna every other weekend. however, you deserve a nice long bath or a good face scrub every now and then. other things you can indulge in:

  • sheet masks
  • body lotion (especially the nice smelling ones)
  • scented candles
  • hand cream
  • nail polish
  • eye masks
  • a good facial cleanser
  • serums
  • bath bombs

and the list goes on. trust me, being physically relaxed plays a big part in how your brain performs. if you feel a bit gross, take a shower before you start studying. it’s little things like that that’ll make a massive difference.

3. sleep

everyone says it, i know. but it’s so important. if you don’t get sleep the night before because you were cramming for tomorrow morning’s exam, go home and take a nap in the afternoon. get some shuteye in one form or another. pls. 

4. believe in yourself

it sounds so weird, and it’s usually not included in posts like these but in my opinion it’s one of, if not the most, important factor in high school success. think about it. if you’re spending those years of your life doubting whether your answer is correct, whether your science report is as good as the next person’s or whether your friends truly like you, you’re using up a lot of energy that could be used for things that’ll actually benefit you in the long run. that’s why my blog is titled “breathe” - because that’s exactly what you have to do, and sometimes that’s the only thing you can do in order to keep going. chin up. you’re going to be okay. you’re doing great. i believe in you. and you should believe in you too. 

organisational tips:

1. plan everything

i’m telling you now, get some kind of planning system. whether you want to use a bullet journal, a planner, a diary, an app, a computer program or your grandma’s paper napkins, seriously just pick something. when you have seven different classes and you have assessment for each, i highly doubt you’re going to remember every task that goes along with them. so, just take my word for it and plan plan plan.

here’s a link to how i used my planner back in high school. 

i also recommend a whiteboard monthly calendar so you can keep track of all of the important dates you need to remember.

2. post-its

i love love love post-its. i honestly can’t stop myself from buying them - especially the cute animal ones. post-its saved my butt when keeping my books organised and easy to navigate. you can use them to separate different semesters, chapters, lectures, topics etc. i also use post-its to mark any questions, sections or subjects that i’m unsure of so that i can ask my teacher about it the next day. i then write down the answer or explanation on a separate sticky note and stick it next to the question so i can refer back to it when studying for exams.

+ look at all the different kinds of cute post-its you can get!

so you can obviously get all your standard, basic post-its.

buuutttttttt, you can also get all of these fun ones too! they make studying a lot easier and a lot more fun, trust me. 

3. figure out a system that works for you

so in high school, i liked having notebooks for each class and having an accordion folder to hold all my papers. that worked perfectly fine for me but there may be other methods that work better for you. i suggest, especially if you’re just about to start or just started high school, that you experiment with different organisational systems to find which one suits you best.

i’ve got a page dedicated to my favourite supplies and how i use them. i hope you can get some inspiration from it in some way. 

motivational tips:

1. quotes

go on google, tumblr, facebook, instagram, weheartit or whatever tickles your fancy and search up some quotes that inspire you. it sounds really corny, but i’m telling you that it works. i had three quotes above my desk and they always used to motivate me when all i could think about was crashing into the comfort of my blankets. i would pick quotes and write/draw them out myself so i could add my own spin on them. i used:

  • “make hermione proud”
  • “effort only fully releases its rewards to those who refuse to quit”
  • “you have galaxies in your head, don’t let anyone tell you you cannot shine”

ta-da!

2. studyblr

this community! it’s the best motivation in my opinion. whenever i was in a procrastination slump, i would scroll through the studyblr tag or scroll through studyblr blogs and before i knew it i’d be ready to study for another hour. it’s honestly one of the most helpful resources, and if it’s available to you then i definitely recommend that you use it!

3. music

get yourself a study playlist. it’s amazing what music can do for your mood. add a mix of songs that will get you pumped to blitz through that 5-star difficulty chemistry question and songs that will help you concentrate when you need to find the right word for that english essay. studying when it’s dead quiet is weirdly deafening to me and i can’t concentrate if there isn’t some sort of background noise. just add whatever helps you - whether it be panic!, classical or in my case, kpop hehe

i have a playlist suggestion on my blog if you want to try listening to some new songs. :)

that’s all, folks!

in all honesty, high school isn’t going to be a walk in the park if you want to succeed. it takes dedication, a lot of persistence and a consistent work ethic. you need to know what you’re aiming for, and you need to want it just as much, if not more, than the person who wants the same thing. my high school experience was stressful and anxiety inducing, but i can honestly say that the rewards on the flip side are very much worth it. you’ve got this. you’ll do a lot more than survive. you will succeed. 

you can do it! i believe in you! 

stay motivated x

StudyBlr Asks

I didn’t know what to do for surpassing my 600 followers goal but then I realized everyone loves getting asks so I made some that were Studyblr themed :)

  1. How long have you had your studyblr?
  2. Why did you decide to make your studyblr?
  3. Do you have any other blogs besides your studyblr?
  4. How did you venture into the studyblr community?
  5. Did you have good study habits before making this blog?
  6. Have you made any friends through your studyblr?
  7. What do you think about the studyblr community?
  8. Do you do your homework as soon as you get home or late at night?
  9. What is your favorite stationery?
  10. What is your favorite piece of stationery you own?
  11. What kinds of pens do you prefer?
  12. Favorite book you’ve read for school?
  13. Favorite studying apps?
  14. What advice about studying changed your life?
  15. What quote has impacted you the most?
  16. What do you do when you’re feeling unmotivated?
  17. Have you ever felt not good enough?
  18. What is your organization system for school?
  19. How has having this blog changed you?
  20. Do any of your friends from school know you have a studyblr?
  21. What is your dream job?
  22. How do you bounce back from a bad grade?
  23. Biggest academic achievement?
  24. Do you keep a bullet journal? What was the last entry in it?
  25. What is your favorite subject?
  26. What is your least favorite subject?
  27. Are you athletic? 
  28. What colleges are you looking at?
  29. Are you interested in the arts? Which ones?
  30. What majors are you thinking about?
  31. What extracurricular activities do you take part in?
  32. Do you need coffee to study?
  33. Do you pull all-nighters often?
  34. Do you drink energy drinks?
  35. Who has been a role model for you in your academic life?
  36. Do you have a favorite professor?
  37. Do you prefer to study with or without music?
  38. Do you prefer to study alone or with friends?
  39. What is your ideal way of learning?
  40. Do you do well with lectures?
  41. What is your note-taking strategy?
  42. Do you like giving presentations in class?
  43. How do you feel about group projects?
  44. Have you ever lost a friend because of something academic?
  45. What are some changes you would make in your school?
  46. Are you friends with any of the staff at your school?
  47. Do you go to the library to study often?
  48. Do you usually do your research online or from a book?
  49. Are you taking the SAT or ACT soon?
  50. What SAT subject tests have you taken?
  51. What APs have you taken? (+ scores if you’re comfortable)
  52. Are your notes usually color coded?
  53. Does the Pomodoro technique work for you?
  54. How do you feel about highlighting?
  55. Do you read your textbooks? How often?
  56. How good are you at aesthetic shots of your studying?
  57. How do you feel about school dress codes?
  58. Is your locker organized?
  59. Do you use loose leaf paper or notebooks for notes?
  60. Do you prefer to learn by yourself or through an instructor?
  61. What languages do you know?
  62. How often do you ask for extra help from a teacher?
  63. Do you consider yourself responsible?
  64. How do you keep track of important deadlines/events?
  65. Do you go out often during the weekdays?
  66. How do you balance social life with school life?
  67. Do you have a tutor for any subjects?
  68. Do you always do your homework? Even if it’s not due?
  69. Do you use your school planner?
  70. How do you file your papers at home?
  71. Do you use binders or accordion folders?
  72. Has a relationship ever distracted you from school?
  73. What’s a mistake you’ll never make again in school?
  74. Do you do extra work for classes? 
  75. Do you feel like you have a teacher to ask for recommendations?
  76. Do you prefer top or bottom lockers?
  77. Do you get lockers by your friends?
  78. Do you prefer having classes with or without your friends?
  79. Do you consider yourself just smart or hard working?
  80. Does your school have uniforms?
  81. Do you wear make up to school?
  82. Do you have enough time to dress up in the mornings?
  83. What is your favorite breakfast food before school?
  84. Do you take the bus or car to school?
  85. Do you always write important things down?
  86. How many alarms do you have in the morning?
  87. Do you prefer studying in the morning or in the evening/night?
  88. Do you prefer having your hardest class first or last?
  89. What is your school’s schedule?
  90. Do you tend to skip out on parties or hang outs to study?
  91. Do you legitimately enjoy studying?
  92. What is your favorite topic to study?
  93. What is your favorite way to study?
  94. Do you study in your bed?
  95. How do you feel about sororities?
  96. What is your rooming preference for college?
  97. Does your desk face a window or a wall?
  98. Do you prefer natural or artificial lighting when studying?
  99. Do you use flashcards often?
  100. What’s the highest grade you’ve gotten on an assignment you BSed?
  101. Some of your favorite studyblrs?
  102. Do you consider yourself lazy?
  103. Are you a slut for stationery?
  104. 3 things you like about school
  105. 3 things you dislike about school

Feel free to ask me any of these & reblog them for your followers to ask you too! [Questions might be added as I think of more]

You are presenting, eyes are on you, and you have something important to say! Don’t! hide!

I used to be terrified of presenting. Here are some things that have helped me out massively, and made me a relatively confident speaker. I suppose that the key to these advices is to fake it ‘till you make it, and posture will help you to trick your body into thinking that this is not a dangerous and scary situation at all. This not a full guide, but just the things that have helped me out.

 At least for me, standing confidently (even if you are totally faking it all) has given me the actual confidence to present. Here are a few things to pay attention to. Try to stand in your bedroom and practice standing like this:

  1. Relax your shoulders. When you’re tense, you will automatically pull them up, which gives tension not only in your shoulders, but your back as well. Relax them, and you will start feeling more at ease.
  2. Keep your feet a little bit apart, firm on the ground. Don’t stand with your legs against each other, as if a single push from someone could have you fall over. If you stand firmly, you’ll give the physical message to your audience ánd yourself that you will not be intimidated by them.
  3. Chin up, eyes at the audience. Don’t ever look at the ground! You’re telling your message to a group of people, not to the dust mites. If it’s too scary too look at their faces, focus on the back wall of the room. Don’t stare at one point, but address the entire room. If there’s a teacher present, watch out not to focus on them! They’re often the only one to seem remotely interested, but don’t let that bother you and look at everyone.
  4. Keep your arms relaxed at your sides. It’s easy to put them in your pockets, or play with a bracelet, or something alike. However, this can distract your audience, and it just looks nervous. If you still feel awkward with your hands like this, try to use your hands while talking, or see if you can have a remote or so you can hold. 
  5. Don’t lean on things. We’ve all seen the nonchalant student present like this, and they got downgraded for it. Yes, you should look relaxed, but don’t look like you don’t give a f*ck. 

Some additional advice:

  1. Try to keep the ‘uhm’ at bay. A short silence is much more effective than filling it with sounds that do not add anything. If you’re trying to think of what to say, it’s better to keep a short silence. Try to listen to a speech of, for example, Obama. He uses a lot. of. silences. See that it does not bother the listener at all.
  2. Don’t read from your notes. Especially if you’re also using a PowerPoint. Prepare your presentation so well that you can tell the story in your own words, and that just keywords are enough. If you’re quoting, you can of course write the quote down. No one will mind you’re reading a quote. 
  3. Practice. This one relates to the previous tip, and to the extent to which you learn your text by heart. If you’re preparing your presentation, try to see how your text works when you’re speaking it out loud. Often, the text you have written down does not translate well to speaking, due to sentence structure, word choice, or length. By practicing you can figure out what does work. 
  4. Talk like you’re presenting to the person in the back. To you, what you’re saying makes 100% sense, but the person in the back probably can only hear 50% if you talk at speaking volume. Try to imagine their position and speak to them. 
  5. Record yourself. You’ll hear whether your volume is okay, if your sentences are fluent, and whether your tempo is right. Maybe you’ll also notice that you are actually saying um a lot, or find out you have used the same word 10 times. It may be confronting, but helpful. 


Other posts: learning with active retrieval  ~ study playlists on spotify 

Suck it, ya filthy, fake Redcoat!

LTL, FTP and all that Jazz. Compared to some of the stories here mine is fairly tame, but considering my age at the time, the effort I had put into the whole affair and the resulting payoff, I would consider this pro enough to fit in here.

I’ve lived in Germany almost my entire life, yet through a twist of fate, I grew up learning the English language as a native speaker, since my father emigrated to Germany from the USA. As such, I’ve always had an American accent when speaking English and I’ve never met anyone who thought they felt the need to complain about it. Every time a teacher asked why I spoke English so well I replied that I am a US National by birth because my Father is from the US. All my teachers seemed quite impressed, except this one Hag, half a lifetime ago… If there ever was an award for creepy Anglophilia, she’d be neck deep in honors and certificates. Instead of encouraging me to speak more so that the other students could learn proper pronunciation from an actual native speaker, like many other English teachers at my school back then did, this woman thought it necessary to berate me for “speaking in such a horrible and filthy manner” and “cure [me] of that insufferable atrocity of an accent.” Mind you, these were actual quotes from this woman. My dad was no help at all. He was fairly ignorant about me being bullied by one of my own teachers, and even went so far as to yell at me to “suck it up and respect my elders”. So, yeah, I stuck it up. It didn’t help that I also wrote in American English (you know, color instead of color, tire instead of tyre, cookie instead of biscuit, that sort of thing) and the Hag had the audacity to write these “mistakes” up as double errors, meaning I got twice points deducted for spelling errors that weren’t even actual errors! I was so fed up with this woman and it wasn’t even two months into the school year.

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dao characters as things teachers have said to me

Alistair: If you put doing this assignment off I’ll- I’ll probably cry myself to sleep

Morrigan: That’s what I do. I walk into my basement and just scream “FIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEE” actually I scream a different f word. 

Leliana: why are you yelling there’s no need to yell please let’s all just calm down someone tell a funny joke we’ll laugh and be on our way.

Zevran: I had a summer job at the Virgin Islands? You wanna know what I was sold? Wait, you’re kids I can’t use this joke. You know where I’m getting at, though. 

Wynne: i think of everyone here has my children so i will not be afraid to yell at you when you do something stupid

Oghren: the scan tron machine broke and im not going to bother grading these by hand so you all get 100s good work

Sten: I have the benefit of the doubt in everyone here but it’s so effing hard sometimes

Dog: [background: one teacher started a group snapchat for the class] Why don’t any of you open my snapchats. What if I start using my dog will that work? 

Shale: that is the third time that bird has flown into my window. it’s a distraction with wings that needs to go away

Loghain: And then I screamed “IN YOUR FACE” at him. it felt good

•A JOURNAL ENTRY: WHAT IS IT REALLY LIKE TO LIVE WITH DEPRESSION?•

i wouldn’t exactly call it living. more like surviving… i look at the environment surrounding me, memories lie tattered in my brain. a life i want to believe was once so full and fruitful has become unthinkably dull. my own eyes were once baby blue but have since faded to an iridescently eerie gray. im hurting. it hurts. im not lying.

i would tell you that you don;t understand- but i;ve begin to notice that everything can only be interpreted in relation to other things or feelings. and this is the only thing ive come to recall feeling. this ethereal delicate coldness within my core, shaking and rattling my bones, consuming my every feeling of functionality. im clearly broken beyond repair- yet i aimlessly crave fixture.

i am light with awful lightness. my blood is mud and my bones are brittle. my thoughts freely cascade within my mind, setting fire to all of my precious sensibilities . any meager ration of purpose and hope is replaced by these fucking reminders that i am truly and entirely 113% alone in this.

at one point, i wanted help. i went to therapy once a week- on bad weeks i went twice. i convinced myself that the glass was half full. i made the most out of everything- and in the process, i made a fool of myself.

i spoke out. i cried for help. i wrote it in books, on forums, i would have carved the words “help me” into my damn skin on my damn forehead if i thought for one minute that anybody was listening.

and i know you’re listening if you’re reading this. but are you really reading this? are you reading me? can you feel the pain in the tips of my fingers, in the ends of my hair, in the blood in my veins, in the staggering cry of my voice at 2 in the morning- an ugly face soaked in the tears resulting from years of utter and complete destruction and then desertion of every little thing i feel?

can you feel my pain?

can you imagine trying to fall asleep when there are actual fucking faceless voices in between your ears jabbering an unimaginably taunting cry? whispering demented nonsense into your ears nonstop after you beg and plead with yourself to quit hearing those damn voices. your mind races like it’s been training all its life and this is the moment it has all led up to: the olympic event of self destruction. and it’s taking home the gold.

i close my eyes and i am so unbelievably tired. staying alive is a fight and today it has beat
me to a pulp. my eyes have bags as big as my regrets and my face is tired from
pretending to light up with joy all day.

jesus christ, it’s my junior year and i’m graduating in less than a year. surely there is one thing to even half way grin about. no, you are wrong. because for every good little thing that happens- every time it seems like it’s getting better, every false sense of hope, for every good thing, there is depression.

my false sense of hope has found its home. depression is a polite host to every single good
feeling in my body. depression feeds me, it cleans me, it loves me, it speaks to me, it knows me.

depression wants to stay forever. it houses in my bones, it feeds on my fears, it gets high on my anxiety, it exchanges hope for hopelessness, it thrives on my insecurities, and depressions favorite thing to do is to keep me up on nights like tonight, where i’m at my worst.

i’m scared, truly. i used to be obsessed with the seasons- more importantly, the transition of one season to anther. perhaps i used to be so fond of change because change was actually a possibility at that point in my life.

winter turning into spring was my favorite. i would lay on the dead, crunchy, brown remnants of the grass, the air around me crisp and cold, stabbing my lungs with every swift,
sharp breath. my nose rosy and cold, sniffling along every chill within my body. bare branches of tall oak trees
stretched into the white winter sky, seemingly reaching for the sunlight the tree craved and needed, as my pale, cold, minuscule hands clutched at the dry, barren earth beneath me- fumbling for more meaning of the world around me. why must seasons change, but my heart always feels the same?

you see, i resonate so very deeply with the winter months. gardens and patches of land that were once beaming with flora and fauna, life and expounding sunlight and warmth, now lay isolated, empty, sterile- similar to the child in me that once was jubilant and lively, but now turned into some thing so cold and ugly. the innocence has beend lost and the happiness within me has since been destroyed by the monster within me, which claims not only me as a victim, but those around me who love and care about me

i only know that i am loved and cared for because i’m continuously and perpetually told this upon a daily basis. it has become very prevalent to me that people feel much better about me when i validate that i know that they are here to talk and that i am loved. yes, i know this. but i cannot feel it. the love that you have for me is, in the least offensive way possible, absolutely irrelevant to my entire being.

you could listen to me rant for days upon weeks, you could read this bible that i’m typing. but i can never seem to make the people around me realize that i am never going to truly accept the love they offer me.

i often wonder if it is true love that inspires people to be there for those with depression- or if those surrounding me simply feel compelled to profess their love and support to me because they see my approval and wellbeing as a direct reflection of their credibility as a friend or family member.

i feel as if i am a burden to those around me, simply harshening the seemingly good mood that literally everyone else but me is capable of partaking in. i want to run with wild horses, frolic among wild flowers, hear the laughter of a child, hold hands with someone i love, and entertain deeply fulfilling and life changing relationships- but you see, the way my life is set up- i am actually emotionally incapable of doing so!

i am most aware of my unfortunate illness and incapability to be happy in the most unexpected and irrational times. take birthday parties, for instance. celebration and good vibes fill the air around me, seeping into my black, pitiful lungs. everyone around me smiles and sings, drowning in their jubilation, as i sit and watch. i want to have fun. please believe me. i want to sing happy birthday. i want to watch you open your gifts. i want to be as happy as you. i want to feel the warmth in my cheeks as i have the time of my life with my friends. but some thing within me compresses each and every slither of joy i am capable of feeling. i am suffocated by the downfall of my emotions and i am blinded by the reminder that depression doesn’t take breaks, not even at birthday parties. depression is strongest whenever you are faced with situations that expose you to the reality that you’re the odd one out- you’re sticking out like a sore thumb. you’re moping and you’re constantly staring out into space. what are you even looking at? what do you have to think about? you have nothing to live for, so anything beyond what’s right in front of you has no relevance in this whole scheme of life. so take it or leave it. you should be enjoying this birthday party. all the other kids are happy. you should be too. you’re lucky you even left the house today. so lucky. had you stayed home, you would have been 100% alone with your thoughts, rather than 97% along with your thoughts, due to the constant interruption of your moping and resentment by peers and parents and teachers asking “is everything okay?”

habitually, you nod. yes. everything is fine. i’m doing well, thank you. but what is the meaning of life? why do i feel like there’s a big fat man sitting on my chest and stomach and heart all the time? why do i always feel like i’m the only one in the room holding back tears trying not to cry? why are the other kids so happy? am i missing out on some thing? why do i feel so sad? why is it that every time i’m surrounded by people who say they love and care for me, i feel as if i’ve never been more alone before in my life? why? do you pity me? it’s just who i am. is that weird?

and oh my god i was always so desperate to be different. perhaps it was just the way my personality was set up. and i was always fairly extroverted. but it was presumably a persona that i put on. hey world, look at me. i’m silly and creative and ill say things that nobody else would say. pay attention to me, look at me.

because i needed them to watch. i hope you never feel so out of control of your body as me, to where you feel as if the only way that you can be saved is if other people figure out that you’re dying on their own. you don’t know how to come straight out and tell them, “hey, i really would rather not be alive at this given moment. i have visions of ending my own life. i use self isolation as a coping mechanism at times in order to feel like less of a burden on those who love me. i haven’t felt genuinely loved in a really long time. i’m so lonely. i could really use a friend right now.”

you can’t just say that. and i became depressed at 9 years old. how would a 9 year old even possibly articulate these complex and life threatening emotions that severely alter the way that every one of their peers perceives them. those middle years are crucial for making friends. it’s at that age that you have to find a group of 3 to 8 people who accept at least half of your given characteristics and occasionally invite you to partake in shit that kids do.

i wouldn’t know. i was a fleeting spirit. appearing and disappearing from cliques like it was clock work. there was more than one willow. there was the catty, witty willow- that found self-approval and approval from others by teasing and belittling others in order to build her own confidence up. then there was the sweet, flower child willow that sold daisy chains on the playground at recess at the price of one hug. there was the willow that stayed near the teachers at times because it was obvious that the other kids wanted nothing to do with her.

and as time progresses, the newer evolution of willow became prevalent. the willow that kept to herself most of the time, spending recess in the class room alone, drawing on the pages of her books, talking to herself, worrying her life away. everyone wondered - what was wrong with willow? or perhaps nobody noticed at all. maybe i was so insignificant even at such a young age- that the only time people considered me was in my dreams.

depression changes a person. some times, the change isn’t even tangible or noticeable to those surrounding the victim. some times, it is a slow discourse of the destruction of the spirit. it can slowly creep into your ear one ungodly night, and forever more whisper its awful lies into the victims ear, as it infects their whole body, their heart, their mind, their spirit, their hands, their eyes. everything. it slowly progresses into the uncontrollable loss of feelings and motivation to even maintain basic proper hygiene. it makes everything feel pointless. things are no longer worth the effort because you’re going to die no matter what, and that can’t come soon enough.

yes, depression can be slow and progressive. but that’s not the worst. the worst depression is the kind that sneaks up on you out of nowhere in the dead of night and immediately stiffens every hair on your body and turns your blood cold, making your mouth dry and your tongue numb. this depression hits you like a fucking train. it hits you in your most vulnerable state- comfort and normalcy. from that point on, you will never know normalcy again.

depression has a way of deceiving you into believing things that are crazy and untrue. but these things become so real to you as the depression progresses into a lifestyle that you come to know nothing else but the lies that depression will fill you with- so nobody can really tell you anything. it will call you names. it will tell you that you’re better off dead. it will be your only comfort- feeling nothing- during the night, whenever anxiety holds you until you pass out from exhaustion. you will never be cold at night as long as anxiety and depression have you snuggled up in between them.

oh how depression loves to kick you around and belittle you. oh how it renders your fantasies pointless. it loves to keep you hostage- to the point where any time you get an idea that doesn’t include moping around in your own sorrow, it immediately renders that idea impossible and reminds you that you are depressions bitch. you eat when depression finishes telling you how fat and disgusting you are. you sleep all day, so depression can take a dip in your nightmares. you wake up, and realize that life with depression is the true nightmare after all.

you pray for the day that you are relieved from this blinding madness and this subliminal torture. you feel as if you are not only a burden to your own self, but a burden to the people who love you and care for you

the only times when depression allows you relief from questioning the ulterior motives of those around you who claim to love you and care for you is when depression instead allows you to feel ashamed of your affliction. when you’re depressed, people notice. they may pretend not to and they may ignore it. but they know. they just don’t know what to say.

what would they say anyways?

hey. i’m sorry your brains are figuratively dripping out of your ears and i’m sorry that you have convinced yourself that i only care about you because i feel guilty, and i’m also sorry that you don’t even have the motivation to take a shower. i’m also sorry that you don’t
remember the last time that someone made you feel special. i’m sorry that you can’t find a reason to smile. i’m sorry that out of all the millionaires, the talented ones, the ones who fall in love, and the ones with nice asses- you were the one to end up hating yourself and everything around you.

ask yourself…. what do you say? what do you say to someone who is depressed?

know that i understand that you don’t know what to say. because yes this sucks. and i don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to wish you were dead. and i am so jealous of you for that. but please treat me the same as everyone else. please love me. make
me laugh. invite me to go shopping with you. get shit faced with me. help me fill the gaping hole in my soul with pointless memories of laughter and small talk. talk about life with me. listen to what i have to say. let me love you.

yes, i have depression. trust me, i will never forget! but please, help me feel normal. i don’t want to feel different than you. i want to be your peer, not your charity case.

i am dying to make friends. i am dying to spend less time in this bed writing shit like this. i am tired of letting this god damn disease walk all over me like i’m a fucking patch of dead grass.

life sucks. but please remind me that winter fades to spring. please remind me that some flowers are seasonal, and not every flower spends its whole life in bloom. remind me that you have to spend time in the dark to understand just how beautiful life in the sunlight is. remind me that there’s no cure for a bad day like a strawberry daiquiri and deep, controversial conversations with complete strangers.

remind me that my car has a sunroof and that it’s okay to open it up and let my hair get a little messy. remind me that music is better when it’s too loud to really interpret what the artist is saying- but you don’t have to understand to feel some thing.

remind me that i don’t have to lose this fight.

i am fucking hurting. but for the love of god, i’m begging you to help me fix me. because i forget that there’s good in the world. i forget that depression isn’t the boss of me. i forget that i have the whole world in my hands. i forget that there’s life after high school and that it’s okay to be alone some times, but it’s never okay to be lonely.

i will never forget what it is like to have my heart ripped out by a disease that i can’t even lay my hands on. perhaps i can touch the blisters under my eyes from
crying so much. perhaps i can run my hands along the holes i’ve punched in the walls from being so angry with myself. and yes i can feel how my bed is sinking in towards the ground because i spend so much time laying here trying to feel some thing besides utter destruction and loneliness. i can never forget what this disease has done to me. there will always be a piece of my heart that this depression has stolen from
me.

but with loving other people, i can aimlessly work to mend that hole. i can’t do it alone. i need a friend. i need you here with me.

i am so tired of being alone.
i will push you away at first. i may come off as helpless and a bitch. but please, that is the depression talking. it’s not willow.

willow loves the color pink
willow loves wild flowers
willow loves the smell of green onions
willow loves the feeling of sand under her feet
willow loves hearing about your childhood and how you had a speech impediment and a cat named angel
willow loves the smell of rain when it hits a hot sidewalk
willow loves to go barefooted
willow loves establishing connections with animals
willow loves willow, some times she just can’t see it

i need a gentle reminder of what it’s like to be a real normal teenage girl

this shit is hard. and being misunderstood makes it harder.

so i’m saying it loud and clear. my name is willow and i have clinical depression and generalized anxiety. my life has been a series of almost laughably awful events, which have resulted in said mental illnesses. i have been misunderstood, bullied, neglected, and hurt. but my story does not end here. i may never completely overcome my depression, but i will overcome my failure to acknowledge my illness. i will work to educate people about those who suffer as i do. i will help those with depression. i will be the friend that i have never had, but always needed, to anyone who wants it. i will be a testament to the depression that has oppressed me for 8 years now.

depression is not who i am. depression does not define me. what defines me is the fact that i am staying alive even though it is proving to be the biggest struggle that i have ever encountered, and i am asking that you help me and people like me. because it’s not a one person job.

my name is willow. and i’m telling you that depression is a rude ass bitch. but i’m a bigger bitch, and unlike my illness, i have the power to make people feel loved and valid. and i will use that power to overcome my depression.

i would like to dedicate this journal entry to everyone reading it. i may go to school with you, you may be just a random tumblr user, you may suffer with depression, you may suffer with some other deeply oppressive situation, you may just be a happy son of a bitch.
it doesn’t matter who you are. let this. journal entry be a testament to your life.

there are people with depression. and there is no way that i can ever explain to you just how it feels via tumblr text post or even via socratic seminar complete with gardens of text books and instructional videos. all i can say is that in this life, you are responsible for being there for the people around you.

you never know what someone is going through. people with depression practically have licenses and 4 year degrees in the field of putting up facades of being okay and sucking it up and repressing those explosive emotions. they don’t expect you to give a shit about them, because as far as they’re concerned, nobody has given a shit,
nobody currently gives a shit, and nobody ever will give a shit about them. they make it hard to help. but it’s so important that you break down those walls. and some times, all you need to do is smile at someone or invite someone to eat after school or to go to a party. you can’t do much for someone with depression. like i said, they’re a whole world away. their concerns and struggles are immaculate, indescribable. however, it doesn’t take much to show someone that you care even a little bit. even if it’s just picking and giving them a random flower.

if you suffer from depression or know anyone with depression and you need someone to look to for advice/help/inspiration, my DM’s are open. oversharing is caring. i know what it’s like to want to take your own life, and i fought the urge to do so even while writing this journal entry.

i am here for you. you are not by yourself. please DM me if you ever need someone to send you pictures of a cute animal to cheer you up, or if you even need me to talk you out of suicide. i know both feelings.

if you’re reading this,
i challenge you to go out of your comfort zone. yes you. i challenge you to do this one easy thing at either work or school, or out in public or in your family

1. pick 3 flowers, they can be store bought or you can have picked them yourself

2. give one flower to someone who you worry might have depression

2. give one flower to a random person who you don’t know

3. give one flower to a person you would like to get to know better, you never know when someone desperately needs a friend


it’s just a flower, but you could save someone’s life. some times, all people need is a gentle reminder that good things still exist and that somebody is thinking about them.

don’t be the person that assumes too high of a role or makes an excuse to not be able to participate in this challenge or share this journal.

you never know when you can save someone’s life.

remember: no matter who you are, i love you. and i am willing to comfort you in times of need. i’ve been where you are. and i know how much ass depression sucks.

my DM’s are open, and so is your future.
don’t end your story this early.

—  Willow Scalisi 4/18/17 (dam i just realized sonic got half priced burgers today, turn up)

anonymous asked:

Can you give some information on Jonghyun and his family and growing up? I've always wondered

these are just some bits of information on his childhood / family. he told a lot of predebut stories when blue night radio was still airing which you can read through at the link!

family

1) he has one sibling: an older sister named sodam. even though it’s hard to find the original quotation she was apparently born in 1988, making her around two years older than jonghyun and around twenty nine. she was born when their mom was twenty one. she’s a well known shinhwa changjo and has a job working within the cosmetics industry, based on a comment jonghyun made a year or two back but that could’ve changed by now.

2) his mom is named lee eun kyung. she was born on march 1st, 1967 making her fifty years old (in international age). she’s a christian (and sodam seems to be as well, though jonghyun is non-religious). jonghyun has mentioned the many jobs that his mom held in the past in order to keep their family above water, including (but not limited to): selling stickers at a stationary shop and being the principal of a daycare center. she went back to university late in life where she studied both women’s and children’s psychology and now works as a psychosocial therapist.

3) his grandmother was a haenyeo which is a female sea diver that works exclusively within or around jeju island. they’re often referred to as mermaids in korea and prided for being independent / highly determined / having iron and strong will, and are representative of the semi-matriarchal structure of family on jeju island.

4) he once said that he has a lot of older female cousins and that, as a child, he’d refer to them as “unnie” rather than “noona”.

5) to give a response about his dad: he’s not really in the picture and, though jonghyun has never confirmed it, it’s very likely that his parents are divorced and have been for awhile now. i once responded to a question about this, but it seems that jonghyun’s relationship with him is either extremely strained or nonexistent. he never mentions him when thanking his family for bringing him up (only his mom and sister). he has never been seen at any shinee or solo related event since debut, etc. any mention of him from jonghyun has been negative, such as: telling a story about how his dad was both against him partaking in a music career and attending a music school, and implying that he was a “bad” guy who dated women far too young for him in regards to his parents’ relationship. so, that’s really all that can be said about him.

childhood

1) jonghyun once said that his mom, sister and him used to play harmonica together during their spare time when he was in elementary school.

2) it’s been mentioned on various occasions under different circumstances but he used to practice taekwondo, kendo, etc. during his early childhood. he won a bronze medal in kendo once~.

3) his parents were married in 1994 when his mom was twenty seven, sodam was six and jonghyun was four. jonghyun once mentioned on blue night that, in their wedding video, he can be seen crying throughout the entire ceremony.

4) jonghyun revealed in late 2015 that his family was on welfare at least through his middle school years.

5) jonghyun once mentioned that his sister and him lived with his grandparents (on his mom’s side) for two years.

6) jonghyun once said that he doesn’t like thinking back on his childhood. when he was visiting his childhood home back in 2015 for monthly live connection he was quoted as saying: “i don’t want to think back or reminisce about my childhood memories. i have no good memories as i was in a period of storm and stress while living there”. he also said on the show that he doesn’t like looking at childhood pictures for the same reason, but you can view some baby photos of him here.

7) his “first love” was fellow classmate from his first year of elementary school. he basically followed her around like a puppy and wasn’t sure himself if it could be regarded as a “first love” or not.

8) he briefly wanted to be a police officer as a child. he then wanted to become a korean language teacher or writer before turning to music.

9) jonghyun once said that there was a period during his childhood where he was very sick often and it caused his mom a lot of stress. he’s also said that he used to get hurt quite a bit during elementary and middle school.

10) his parents briefly owned a record store very early on during his childhood.

11) he used to dye his fingernails different colors with his sister by using garden balsam as a child.

12) jonghyun attended an all boy’s middle school and then a christian high school named mount zion where he was part of a band named zion where he played the bass. it was through a performance with this band that sm scouted him to audition for the company (based on his visuals). he transferred from this school after becoming a trainee to attend the prestigious seoul music institute which he dropped out of before graduating. he later went on to receive his ged.

yungtsundere  asked:

Love your trans peter post! My head cannon is steve being trans. Back in the day, he was short and small like peter. How quick to violence people were with poor 1900's steve. The real reason he couldn't get into the army was because what was on his birth certificate. When Bucky told him to 'sell bonds/manufacture' instead of enlist, those were woman's jobs back then. The doctor hooked him up with the super soldier experiment, adding in extra procedures.

damn u right!! but okay- I’ve actually been meaning to talk about my trans Steve headcanon for quite some time now, so I’m just gonna info-dump a bunch of trans history and MCU interpretations right here. SO:

First of all, the setup of Steve Rogers as a short, scrawny boy who’s bullied and beat up all the time fits easily with how a trans man in the 1940s might have lived. This scene from Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) honestly looks like that cliche trans art trope where it’s like: “trans person looks in the mirror and their reflection is the right gender”. you know the one.

Later in that same scene, Bucky outright says that the reason he thinks Steve is joining the war is to “prove himself.” You could totally interpret this as Steve trying to shove himself into the absolute most masculine role in his society in order to reaffirm his own gender identity. 

Bucky is also incredibly worried about the consequences Steve will face if he is “discovered falsifying enlistment documents”. If you headcanon Steve as a trans man, this adds new depth to the stakes. Instead of lying about his respiratory issues and hometown, Steve would be lying about his sex assigned at birth. Which, given the state of the US in 1943, would’ve had even harsher punishment.

It’s also interesting that Dr. Abraham Erskine (the man who accepts Steve into the military) is a German scientist. In the early 1900s, the Germans were at the forefront of medical treatment for trans people. The first clinic to treat transgender people (Magnus Hirschfeld’s ‘Institute for Sexology’) opened in Germany in 1919. But as the Nazis came to power in the 1930s, many of the German scientists at this clinic migrated to the US to treat the trans people here. 

Steve is recruited by Dr. Abraham Erskine in 1943, which would be congruent with the time the German scientists from the ‘Institute for Sexology’ immigrated to the US. So, to clarify: a German-American doctor spends his life researching and creating a serum that instantly masculinized Steve via intra-muscular injection. I would like to point out that for trans men, testosterone is administered the same way. Also, this timeline just so happens to line up with a key point in the history of transgender medical treatment. Huh. Interesting.

In addition, the following quote by Dr. Abraham Erskine can easily lend itself to a discussion on transmasculinity:

“…the strong man who has known power all his life, may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows… compassion.”

and– hey, I just wanna point out the… interesting parallel… between the flag pole scene in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

and the arrow scene in Mulan (1998)

…like wow… okay. there’s actually a lot of parallels between these two movies, (except in Mulan the protagonist enters the ‘male’ gender role out of necessity whereas Steve does so by desire, differentiating between a cross-dresser and a trans man) but I won’t go there today. nope.

Then the introduction of Peggy Carter leads Steve to question his existing perceptions of gender roles. He admits that “I guess I just don’t know why you’d join the army if you were… a woman” which, under this trans interpretation, could be Steve projecting his own relationship with gendered aspirations onto Peggy.

And god, that’s not even delving into how easily his ‘transformation sequence’ could fall into a trans narrative.

In the second act of the film when a woman hits on him, Steve responds with visible discomfort. When he first realizes that she’s hitting on him, his immediate reaction is to cover his chest.

The First Avenger mentions Steve’s lack of romantic/sexual experience many times throughout the film. Steve passes it off as ‘not having found the right partner yet’ but hypothetically– if he were a trans man, that could be another reason for his fear of sexual intimacy. If he’s #stealth and passing as male, then any form of sexual intimacy could risk his reputation and his ability to remain in the military. 

Oh, and did I mention? Statistically speaking, approximately 20% of the US transgender population serves (or has served) in the military. This is over double the rate of the cisgender population. So, tbh, it’s not unrealistic to have a trans character so adamant about enlistment, patriotism, or military life.

Anyways, yeah- Captain America’s story (especially in the MCU) definitely lends itself to an interpretation of Steve Rogers as a trans man.