i used to romanticize

i used to romanticize the shit out of everything and it wasn’t until recently that i realized; no one is going to swoop in with a cape and save me from jumping off the tallest building. nobody is going to drive to my house at 2am just to wipe away my tears and that’s okay. i am wearing a cape too, i can save myself, i can wipe away my tears. i fell in love with the idea of having a hero but what i failed to realize is that i can be my own hero when everyone else is too busy to see me falling. and yes, there will be times where other people save you and that’s okay. just make sure at the end of the day you’re still wearing a cape too.

dating advice: the “captain america” rule

Context: I grew up in a family of nerds, and superheroes were always a really big part of my childhood. Captain America was a favorite, and he kind of became my family’s standard for good behavior and just generally being a Nice Person. (If one of the kids started a fight they’d get hit with, “What would Captain America think of how you’re acting?”, stuff like that.)

So when I got to high school and started dating, my mom told me something that sounds funny but in retrospect actually turned out to be really good advice:

“Date someone who treats you the way Captain America would. Never settle for less.” 

And this has actually helped me so much in my dating life, through high school and into my adult years, because even if it’s a little silly, it’s been really helpful to have that standard in the back of my mind when I’m first going into a relationship. 

Would Captain America ignore my calls? Would Captain America forget my birthday? Would Captain America get mad at me for cancelling a date because a family emergency came up? If the answer is no, then I know that the person I’m currently dating does not meet my standards, and that I need to break things off before they get too serious.

And your standard absolutely does not have to be Captain America, specifically. It can be any person, male or female, real or fictional, who is known for being respectful and considerate. It can even be an imaginary “soulmate” that you make up yourself. The point is to have a specific idea of how you expect to be treated by your romantic partners, and to refuse to compromise or settle for less. (Just make sure you’re holding yourself to the same standards – you can’t expect to date superheroes if you’re going to treat your partners the way a supervillain would.) This is a really good way to keep yourself from falling into bad relationships where you aren’t treated with the respect and care you deserve.

TL;DR: You deserve to date people who are respectful and considerate of you. You deserve a Captain America. Don’t settle for less. 

what i love about tumblr romanticizing bees is that a lot of us grew up being scared of them. but now there’s people appreciating their aesthetic, their nature, their existence, and it’s just nice

that doesn’t necessarily equate in people fighting for bees, or planting adequate flowers for them, but the chances for that happening are a lot higher. i know for a fact that i profited off those posts on how to help bees that were/are going around

i like the romanticization of bees. it gives me a tiny chunk of peace

// p a r i s //

the 1975 drabbles

paris + fallen-angel!jungkook

// oh, how i’d love to go to paris again // 

“Does it look like I’m holding it up?” You stretched even more awkwardly than before, still trying to smile wide. Jungkook snorted.

“Yeah, babe. Just like that.” He held the camera up to his eye and snapped the picture. A small Polaroid was spit out of it a second later, and Jungkook shook it generously while you skipped back over to him.

“Lemme see it,” you said and tore it from his grasp. He rolled his eyes.

“It isn’t even developed yet.” He threw an arm around your shoulders and looked up at the grand Eiffel Tower. It was beautiful, that was for sure, but Jungkook found it funny that people got so excited about a tower. In his time on Earth, he’d seen thousands of towns with interesting architecture. It was all nice and cool, but none of it was as pretty as you to look at.

“Jungkook, I look like a dork,” you insisted and shoved the picture into his face for him to look.

He shrugged and smiled at you teasingly. “You always look like one. This time, you just happen to have the Eiffel Tower behind you.”

You scrunched up your nose and punched his arm, pouting. “Shut up, God.” Despite your distaste, you pocketed the picture and grabbed your boyfriend’s hand.

“Where to now? Paris is a big city, and I want to see it all.” You leaned your head on his arm and looked up at him expectantly. He groaned inwardly. He loved you way too much for it to be healthy.

“How about we find a place to get some pastries? There was this really good place I went to here back in 1957…”

historymoodboard: adam mickiewicz (1798-1855)

national poet of poland, lithuania and belarus; one of poland’s three bards; professor of slavic literature; rebel.

You don’t want me, but I haven’t stopped– missing you has become so normal, like a clock, my thoughts can’t move backwards, a cup of rain that keeps pouring over my words. I’ve never been anything other than lost, broken or in love with you, but I’d like to be read as more than a light you let in through your window. I’m running out of space to hang kisses on my heart, could you take my heart instead? I’ve romanticized the gravity between us for the miles I give you in my mind. I’ve married the fragments of lips to start a conversation. Everything is poetry when I think about you– the parts of me I don’t show you are the ones I want you to notice. It’s not the way you leave, it’s the way you come back.. it’s how you remember when I forget. It’s how you said forever when we both knew that it was bullshit. It’s how you said I love you when we both knew it wouldn’t work. It’s how I said the same exact thing wishing that you’d believe it too. And maybe that’s our problem… you want the things that I want… we’re both a sinking ship, but most days we confuse each other as the ocean. I’d drown for you, but I wouldn’t burn for you. Two different ways to love. I’d cry my eyes out, but the passion just isn’t there. We’re more of a sad mistake. We’re not some romantic love story tasked with masking poison as more wine… we’re just lovers who existed for the time being. We asked the clock for another loan, but it ran out of hands to hold our last few seconds together… you have went bankrupt a thousand times on the idea that tears could be used as currency for paying off everything that’s wrong with me. And darling… the truth is… it’s more about us than it is about trust. That’s the thing… we never had any. Nothing. We just needed someone. We just wanted to feel something. So then there’s this perfectly knitted situation, wear me into your sleeve, but I won’t beat into rhythm. I’m not a heart worth loving. I’m not a human worth saving… but even after saying all of this… I’ve been scraping up my life savings for you. Every penny. Every dime. Every nickel. Every dollar. Every gold piece. Every silver lining. Every thing of value. All of my broken pieces. All of our kisses. All of our memories. All of our loving. All of our letters. All of our poetry. All of our feelings. All of everything you’ll ever forget about me… I put it into a piggy bank that I signed away to you. You’ll read it as yours truly, but I’ll read it as I’m sorry. Would you ever forgive me if I was a better lover? Or is that a silly thought? I’ve been trying to make amends, but it’s just another back breaking experience. I’ve been trying to be poetic, but the truth is… even with a million rose tinted glasses with different shades of red included… I couldn’t make this shit pretty. We don’t love like we used to, we don’t kiss like we used to, we don’t hug like we used to, we don’t look into each other like we used to, we don’t hold hands like we used to, we don’t go out like regular couples, we don’t laugh like we used to, we don’t think like we used to, even changing… we don’t even change like we used to. We’re so far gone. We’re so over everything. We’re lost at sea and there isn’t a single lighthouse. We’re on fire and this time there’s no extinguisher. We’re a problem and I’m just planning to do another heist. We’re robbing ourselves blind– for every I love you that I didn’t mean, those spaces in between your fingers– I’ve broken my heart into pieces there. Like when we were broke and looked for change to go out on a date and like that time when we never fell back into love… a time I’ll never know. A time that we’ll never get used to. This time, I won’t get used to letting you go. This time, darling, you’re going to have to let me go. This time, it’s really goodbye.
—  The Ate & The Bunso
Romanticized Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is romanticized much differently than other mental illnesses are. I am hesitant to use the word “romanticized,” however I use it for lack of a better word. Other illnesses like depression or anxiety are romanticized by people being conditioned to believe that depressed just mean down in the dumps or anxiety is that giddy-nervous rush of adrenaline before a performance. In other ways, there are the girls – I know that boys can do it too, but I see it much more often in girls – who think that it is cute and quirky, or edgy. This goes for attention seeking neurotypicals that title their blog “sad but rad” or people that think their introverted shy nature and soft blush when being flirted with is social anxiety. Surely you know what I am talking about and it would be unnecessary for me to continue. 

You may be wondering where I am going with this and why on earth I believe that schizophrenia is romanticized. Well, think about it. Take the show American Horror Story. From what I know about it, there is a psychotic character, in the first season at least, who has killed people and is often off in la la land and continuing some inner monologue about how he is “different” and “misunderstood.” Keep in mind I have not seen the show and I am going off of solely what I have heard from my sister, classmates, and what I have seen on the internet about AHS, so feel absolutely free to correct me if I am wrong. Now, it is to my understanding that this character is loved for being weird, different, and edgy. I am absolutely disgusted by this. I know people that watch the show and they talk about how he is so hot and they love how crazy he is. These are the same “sad but rad” people who think they are cool for wearing black lipstick and a choker in an over-edited instagram picture. 

I am trying to do two things in this piece of writing. One, calm myself down. I write like this when I get upset or overwhelmed. Sometimes I post it, sometimes I do not. It just helps to get my thoughts written out and out of my head in a grammatically correct, clear, physical document (I know it is not actually physical, I just mean that it helps me to see the words). The second thing I am trying to do is get my point out there that these deep, quirky characters you see on TV are extremely inaccurate and romanticized representations of psychosis. In no way is psychosis avoiding eye contact while saying some long, drawn out speech about how nothing really matters and the voices tell you to kill people. Psychosis, schizophrenia at least (the illness I deal with) is panic attacks at midnight because you could have sworn there was a knock on your door. Psychosis is not moving or breathing, not even blinking, because you thought you just saw a man and if you move, he will kill you. Psychosis is doing and not doing certain things because of delusions you have (ie. not going down the stairs because He is down there and He will kill you, or saying the word “juice box” slowly until you know you are allowed to return to your routine without being Punished). Psychosis is not showering for three weeks and not knowing why you have absolutely no motivation to take care of yourself. It is not speaking in public because They can hear you. It is not going to sleep until you have convinced yourself that the face you saw was only a hallucination. It is not being able to speak correctly because your thoughts and speech are so disorganized to the point where trying to maintain a conversation about what the park looks like is a near impossible task. It is not leaving the house or even getting out of bed for days or weeks on end with no solid reason. It is not looking down or in a mirror because you know that there are bugs under your skin and you do not want to see them. Psychosis is a million different things and not one of them is cute or edgy. Psychosis is terrifying and can be debilitating to live with. So fuck this romanticized television character and fuck these attention seeking 14 year olds that want to be so cute and lovable and different with their fake mental illnesses because whatever the fuck his name is has psychosis and he is so hot and gets attention, so why can’t I? I’m sorry, this just makes me sick. 

anonymous asked:

So I saw someone else ask on another blog and it got me to thinking, how would Pete dunne react to finding out you self harm/ used to self harm? Like seeing your scars for the first time?

This is an imagine I am flat out not comfortable with. It’s not my story to tell, as someone is who has never struggled with the urge to self harm or who used to self harm. I would be speculating, romanticizing, and/or propagating stereotypes.

Sorry anon. No can do.

anonymous asked:

I can vouch for eloping. My sister is on her fourth marriage.

Lets all be honest i JUST want to wear the dress thats all thats important

in reality neither of us care much about “being married” or being husband and wife or think its this NECESSARY part of a relationship or anything, or even the “religious” aspect of it since niether of us are and arent including it ANYWAYS.

I just. Really like the romanticism of standing up infront of all my my close friends and family and being like “this one. This is the one i choose. I like his face and he makes me happy and i want to grow old and make fart jokes together forever”

I think too many people put too much emphasis on being and getting MARRIED that people think it needs to CHANGE THEM in some way, or will make things better, and when it doesnt, it puts even more stress on a relationship

people get married waaay to quickly too like a friend got married after like 6 months dating? We will have been together for 7 years on the day of our wedding so I think our relationship has a little backbone ahaha


all of these lyrics come from marianas trench’s album ever after. there are a lot of lyrics, so i’m shoving some under a read more!!

—– - ever after

once upon a time, i used to romanticize.

i used to be somebody.

nevermind, i don’t miss it that much now.

you say i would make a better liar.

i never face the music when it’s dire.

i breathe disaster.

don’t you move.

can’t you stay where you are, just for now?

you could be my ever after.

i could be your perfect disaster.

apologies, i’m not myself.

i’m fuckin tired of getting sick about it.

fight for something.

i would make a better liar.

don’t you dare fail me, now.

—– - haven’t had enough

i’m just suggesting, you and i might not be the best thing.

somehow i guessed it right.

but i still want you.

i don’t mean to taunt you.

if you leave now, i’ll come back and haunt you.

well i just wish we could go back one more time and begin it, back before i lost myself somewhere in it.

we just got the start wrong. 

you better get your story straight.

 i still need you.

i don’t mean to tease you. ”

if you want me, i’ll come back and meet you.

don’t you want this at all?

i’m just suggesting, you and i might just be the best thing.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Okay, that makes more sense. Yes, the book was morally sound. It's the movie adaptations that twisted the story and made it gross. Sorry if I was aggressive, I just get angry about the sexualization of Lolita.

I get it. Unfortunately most ppl on Tumblr romanticize it and use it for their “nymphet” aesthetic. I’m 110% against that and stopped following those blogs that romanticize it quite a while ago.

5 February, 2017

Wearied and worn, at the edge of hope
I’m gasping for air, learning how to cope
With you spinning me around, throwing
Me into deep waters; I’m tired of rowing
And sifting through the string of lies
You’ve given me trying to convince me otherwise

I yearn to know if I will ever be enough
Your promises lurk in the periphery
Of my instincts telling me that you’re not my home
For you always fall short on delivery
And truthfully, I am not at all that tough

Falling down this regrettably tedious slope
Of you begging me to hang onto this rope
Filled with underlying doubts, knowing
That in the end, I will only see you going
Away from me and against what I idealize..
With us being the one thing I will always romanticize:

I am still so fucking unable to quit you.

tw sexual, physical, and emotional abuse

ok this will be my only word on the matter so the reason why i despise Reylo and Kilgrave/Jessica and similar ships why I will happily and openly mock them and will openly warn/criticize people who do ship them

beyond the obvious don’t fucking ship women with their abusers why does this have to be said EVERY FUCKIGN TIME

I hate these ships because I used to be that person who shipped these ships when I was a teen. These ships being so alike in nature it is really, really eerie and makes me believe even more intensely that we live in a society that actively grooms us to be abused by these exact types of people

i used to romanticize the skinny, charming, sensitive, older white guy in fiction, particularly the ones “suffering” or needing to be “drawn back to the light”, I used to romanticize it because that was what fiction told me I should do. I imagined my perfect relationship being one where I had to be the emotional bagboy and I thought it was great! That was what society loved and encouraged and groomed young girls to do. You can moan all you want about how it is “just fiction”, but guess what happened? 

When I was 18 and a virgin, a skinny, charming, sensitive, older white guy who needed “fixing” took advantage of me sexually and I ended up so traumatized I immediately ended up in a second relationship 

with a skinny, charming, sensitive, older white guy who emotionally abused me so thoroughly I was trembling like a leaf when I finally broke up with him two years later–over the phone when he was over a hundred miles away. I stayed with the kind of romanticized “Kylo” or “Kilgrave” that made me think that I had to prove my love and my empathy by staying with him during his struggles–through his stubborn joblessness, his “creative processes” (which he successfully squashed my own artistic desires so I could support his creative endeavors), his taking of my money and taking my loans which I didn’t need to take out in the first place, his repeated cheating, and his run-in with a violent psychosis episode which got him institutionalized. Through him constantly putting me down, pinning me into a room when we argued so I couldn’t escape, through him calling me a bitch and a liar. Through him gaslighting me to the point where Jessica Jones triggered me into a panic attack so I had to stop watching for a few days. Through me losing almost 20 pounds in two months because I was so stressed while in a relationship with him I literally got nauseous when I tried to eat. 

but i was a strong, independent feminist who was getting her degree. Who had her own life. Or so I told myself. I thought I had to stay, fight through this and “save him” or I would be seen as weak. I bought into the narrative of “saving” my abuser so thoroughly, that I thought leaving an abusive relationship was a sign of weakness.

You know what made Rey and Jessica so strong? Being able to reject Kylo and Kilgrave and fighting tooth and nail to get as far away as possible from their abusers.

There are so many people like me, survivors who have bought into this narrative who are either still in it or have managed to deprogram themselves slowly but surely. I still have these blips of sympathy for that Beauty and the Beast mentality, but I know that it is not healthy in any aspect. I have empathy for those who are still in this mindset, but I will be damned sure I will be vocal about rejecting it and telling them to wake the fuck up.

I know that if you have a partner who is struggling with something, they should have the ability to deal with it independently from you and take steps to make sure you are unharmed in the process. 

I know that using the comparison of survivors shipping abuse victims with abusers and how abuse survivors use BDSM to cope is bullshit and any decent counselor or psychiatrist would tell you that as pretty as “acting out your abuse” sounds on paper…it does not work without supervision of people who know the innards of healing the aftermath of abuse. I do not support the idea of abuse survivors using BDSM to cope with their abuse because it is dangerous and rife with abuse anyway…plus any dom/sub is likely NOT a licensed psychologist. You do not do scenes in public or with people who are not consenting, so you should not play out your abuse in fanfiction that is publicly accessible (especially to teens….YOUNG GIRLS IN A SOCIETY THAT GROOMS THEM TOWARDS ABUSE) and without mentioning that you are playing out your abuse. Do not silently condone abuse structures, in fanfiction or reality, in a society that CONSTANTLY CONDONES AND UPHOLDS ABUSE STRUCTURES. Jesus Fucking Christ. 

so those who are ‘ashamed’ about shipping these kinds of ships, you should be because you are perpetuating the grooming of young girls towards abuse and you can do better

those who are ‘defiant’, well fuck you and maybe you should care more about the abuse grooming of young girls in this society –even if it’s just yourself –than your stupid, abuse-apologist ships. You can do better.