i used to listen to this song every day before work

“hello,” the dark lord said, “i need a library card.”

“everyone needs a library card,” the librarian said brightly, sliding a form across the desk. “fill this out.”

the dark lord produced her own elaborately plumed quill from the depths of her robes and scrawled her name in handwriting that was completely illegible but seemed to whisper the secrets of the dark from the blinding white page. “yes, but i need mine in order to take over the tri-kingdom area.”

the librarian’s polite smile barely faltered. “funny, the last dark lord to try that didn’t bother with a card.”

“yes, and do you see that fool currently ruling our kingdom? no. of course not. utterly ridiculous, to attempt to take over any size country without a library card, much less an intermediate-sized one like this.” she accepted the thin plastic card with a gracious flourish of her gloved hand.

the librarian, adding the new card’s number to the database, privately agreed, but chose not to say anything.


the librarian balanced the pile of pulled books under one elbow and held the list of call numbers in their hand for easy consultation. “intermediate spell casting for grades three and four,” they murmured, running fingers along the peeling spines until they found it. “willing to bet that’s sorrel’s request.”

they fit the large, paperbound book under their elbow and moved on, checking the list again. “magical creatures encyclopedia, L through M. that’s jackaby trying to finish the entire set by midsummer.” they would get that one last to carry it around the shortest amount of time.

“next — the complete guide to raising the dead.” they paused in front of the row of shelves with the right call numbers. they could guess the requester of that one too, but knew better than to say it out loud.


the return slot thunked loudly as it swung open and closed, having swallowed the returned books with a wet gulp.

“good morning,” the dark lord said pleasantly as she looked up from sliding her books in — or as pleasantly as “good morning” could sound when it was uttered by a voice that sounded like gravel being chewed to pieces by the jaws of a large monster.

“it is, very,” the librarian said crisply, conjuring a clean handkerchief for the still-slobbering return slot.

the mouth just visible under the dark lord’s enormous cloak hood curved into a scythe’s blade smile, but she said nothing else.

“did you enjoy your books?” the librarian asked, since she wasn’t moving and there were no other people waiting (most likely because of the dark lord standing there).

the hood nodded up and down. “extremely. especially the taped lecture by doctor dramidius ardorius of the dark arts institute.”

“well, we have many more taped lectures. i especially recommend the one on the healing powers of tea.” they tilted their head in a now get out sign. the poor steam-powered self-checkout contraption would get overheated if people were too scared to check out at the front desk.

they didn’t really expect the dark lord to take the recommendation seriously, but the next day they noticed the cloaked, hooded specter glide out the door with the taped lecture on magic-infused herbal teas tucked between a CD of dark chants and a step-by-step art book on drawing occult symbols.


“you give good recommendations,” the dark lord said with a shrug when the librarian raised their eyes from the front desk’s computer to the shadows of her hood.

the librarian wasn’t sure what to say. “you seem to take up quite a lot of my time.”

“i’m only a simple library patron,” the dark lord replied in a saintly voice that resembled a dragon coughing up a partially digested house. “do you enjoy mermaid song?”

“yes. you can find the library’s collection in the CD section over there.” they looked pointedly back down at the computer.

“i hear there’s a concert on the shore tomorrow evening.”

“perhaps we’ll get a recording of it.”


the dark lord continued taking out books on various unsavory topics. the librarian continued suggesting books on healing, positive thinking, and community service. the dark lord seemed more amused with each visit. her smile was almost charming, once you got past the long, sharp teeth.


the librarian was trying to go about their usual morning ritual of pulling books that had been requested the night before, but the dark lord wouldn’t stop making faces at them from behind gaps in the shelves. she seemed to find it hilarious. the librarian hadn’t decided yet if they were amused or annoyed.

“ooh, look at this,” the dark lord said, pulling a sturdy but beaten up board book featuring a werewolf mid-transformation on the cover from the shelf. “this was my favorite when i was just a little menace.”

“somehow i’m not surprised.”

the dark lord tucked the book into the ridiculous basket made of a large skull that floated alongside her. “didn’t you have a favorite picture book when you were little?”

“Barker the Sentient Book End,” the librarian said promptly. “i screamed for it every night until someone read it to me, long after i’d already memorized each page.”

the dark lord cooed, sounding like a cross between an owl and something eating an owl. “adorable. i knew you had a little monster in you somewhere.”

the librarian crossly debated denying being a monster at all or pointing out they had actual kraken blood in them.


they should have guessed how close the dark lord was from how good her mood was, but it wasn’t until they arrived at work on monday that the librarian heard the news.

“the newest dark lord managed to overthrow the faeyrie monarchy last night. something about combining traditional herbal spells with a newfangled mental magic based on the power of willful thinking… or something. the news reporter mentioned the use of mermaid song in a mild kind of mind control, i think? i wasn’t listening. the good news is, our budget stays in place.”

the librarian contemplated hurling the can of bookmarks across the room, but concluded that it would be both unprofessional and unsatisfying. they settled for aggressively stamping returned, only slightly saliva-covered books with red ink.


the phone clicked loudly. “public library, how can i help you?”

“by taking my offer,” the dark lord said, slightly hesitant voice like a rock slide that wasn’t sure it was ready to slide. “the royal library in the capital needs a new head librarian.”

“why’s that?” the librarian spun in their new swivel chair, tangling the phone cord while they were at it, thinking they wouldn’t want to leave so soon after getting it.

there was a cough like the ocean spitting out a new island. “erm, hmm, last one got… eaten. tragic. these things happen when you’re very, very small, you know.”

“so i’ve heard.” the librarian stretched the phone cord and watched it bounce back. “well, i’m happy where i am.”

“well.” her voice was more disappointed than they’d expected. “it’s a very nice library, you know. large selection of mermaid song in the CD section.”

“the royal library is part of our system. i can request any materials from there that i want to be delivered here.”

a pause. the dark lord had not considered this. “well, maybe i’ll take the royal library out of the system.”

“you wouldn’t dare disrupt the workings of our very intricate library system set up at the dawn of time.”

“maybe i would!”

“no.”

“fine. i wouldn’t.”

the librarian swiveled some more, wrapping the cord around with them until it ran out of give and spun them in the other direction. “would you like to grab a coffee sometime?”

“yes,” the dark lord said, voice too surprised to resemble anything in particular. “i can travel down meet you tomorrow morning.”

“don’t you have things to do?”

they could sense the shrug from the other end of the line. “i’ll move the capital to your town. i can do that, you know. i’m the supreme ruler of the tri-kingdom area.”

“yes,” the librarian agreed, un-spinning to return the phone to its cradle. “just don’t forget who gave you the library card.”

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

anonymous asked:

can you make a checklist on how to get into the gorillaz?? It seems like there is a lot out there and its hard to follow when i'm getting into it late.. thank you!!

Sure!!! I personally got into them by watching their G-bitez and music videos and it all kinda spiraled from there.

The band itself was made by Damon Albarn (Lead singer of Blur, does vocals and writes lyrics for Gorillaz) and Jamie Hewlett (Co-creator of the comic book “Tank Girl”, draws and animates for Gorillaz) after they were both watching MTV and they were like “hey music today sucks you know what’d be cool?? if we made an animated band” “cool we could call it ‘gorilla’ because we were both born on the year of the monkey!!!” sadly animal planet had already copyrighted “gorilla” so they just added a z to the end of it to make it cooler.

Here’s a playlist of all of their music videos/unfinished storyboards i put together (they’re all in order according to the storyline, but keep in mind that “do ya thing” isn’t canon): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mRz_uqFp8BiLuEZ3-ZUjJZB

Here’s a list of all of their interviews I’ve been able to find (You can learn a lot about the characters from these babies): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mT1RKRtEIu2RA4AraQnGnqu

Aaand here’s a list of all of their songs (there’s a bunch). Every one of them sorted from oldest to newest, every song after “We’ve got the power” is either a demo, rare or unreleased: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mTeUgeN3TVDF1kUgM11wlFI

Something to know about Gorillaz is that they have “phases”. Phase 1 was in 2001, when they released their albums “Gorillaz”, “G-Sides” and “Laika come home”. Phase 1′s art style was cartoonish and used very thick lineart. Phase 2 was in 2005, when they released “Demon Days” and “D-sides”. Phase 2′s art style was a bit dark and looked more realistic. Phase 3 was in 2010, when they released the albums “Plastic Beach” and “The Fall” in 2011. Phase 3′s art style was almost the same as phase 2′s. Then we have Phase 4 in 2017, their new album “Humanz” is coming out April 28th. It’s art style is the one that stands out the most to me, you can find most of the art on Jamie Hewlett’s Instragram (Hewll)

Alright, a big part of me getting into the fandom was my love fore the characters. I’m assuming you’re not a fan yet, so let me introduce them to you (i’m going to use powerpoints to explain each member if u don’t mind):

This lovely lad here is Murdoc Faust Niccals.

- He’s the band’s leader/bassist, and he makes sure EVERYONE knows that’s it’s his band and only his.
- He went through multiple other bands before he formed Gorillaz.
- He was born on June 6th, 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England. As an infant he was abandoned on his father’s doorstep.
- Had a very rough childhood, his father, Sebastian Niccals, would force him to preform on stage for booze money and it was absolutely humiliating for him.
- His nose has been broken a of total 8 times. The first time was from a bully at his school, the 2nd time was from his older (and only) brother, Hannibal, because Murdoc had touched his records and the other 6 times were from Russel when he got caught “doing it” with 2D’s now ex-girlfriend in the bathroom stalls of Kong Studios
- His middle name was originally “Alphonse” but he changed it to “Faust” after making a deal with the Devil in phase 1 to make Gorillaz the “biggest band in the world”. That’s also how he got his bass, “El Diablo”.
- did i mention he was a satanist bc he is
- He hangs around in his underwear a lot (especially in phase 2)
- He likes to either get naked or start pelvic thrusting in like every video, so be careful, young anon.
- He’s very crude but sometimes he can be very nice and adorable in some interviews ??? It’s so weird
- He likes making weird noises, like, a lot.
- Apparently can speak French and Spanish
- His reason for turning green all of the sudden in phase 2 is either because of alcohol poisoning or due to him tanning himself green. Jamie himself said that it’s because he’s an immortalist and his skin is now rotting but I’m not sure how true it is.
- He had a pet raven in phase 2!!! His name was Cortez and no one really
knows what happened to him but Murdoc seemed to love that bird.
- He also had a cape in phase 2 that he loved and wore like all the time but he lost it. Poor baby.
- He was based off of a young 1960′s era Keith Richards.
- He has a tongue longer than Gene Simmons’ and I’m not even kidding. His tongue is like a foot long
- His genuine laugh can cure cancer
- He had his own MTV cribs episode
- Here’s a playlist of every interview he’s been in if you’d like to know a bit more about how he acts.
- All of this sounds horrible but like half of the fandom sees him as charming and funny and the other half sees him as repulsive and downright mean so i guess listen to some of his interviews and make your decision (i’m part of the half that loves him)

This is 2D!!

- He’s the band’s singer, sometimes he plays the piano and melodica too.
- He’s anxious and a bit timid around people. He’s not that intelligent, but he’s an absolute sweetheart to pretty much everyone. He’s … a huge dork.
- He was born on May 23rd, 1978.  He was born in Hertfordshire, England and was raised in Crawley, England. When he was 10 he fell out of a tree and landed on his head, his hair fell out and grew back blue. He’s had horrible headaches since then, but his mother was a nurse and gave pills to help him out.
- His real name is Stuart Pot
- He loves horror films!!! Especially zombie movies.
- Apparently he smells like butterscotch
- He’s VERY tall. he’s like 6′1 and his legs make up most of his body. He towers over the rest of the band.
- His voice actor is Nelson De Freitas, but Damon Albarn provides his singing voice
- The lack of his two front teeth gives him an adorable accent
- He has a crippling fear of whales
- His eyes are black due to an 8-ball fracture that Murdoc gave him before the band was made when he crashed his car into the music store 2D worked at.
- His eyes turn white when he’s stressed or scared.
- His nickname “2D” stands for “Two Dents”. He’s called that because Murdoc’s car crash also gave him two dents in his head.
- Murdoc is seen physically abusing 2D throughout phase 1-3, but there’s a very likely chance that he’s going to stop and make amends in phase 4!!!
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in
- Everybody loves him. I love him. I don’t think it’s possible not to love him.


This is Russel Hobbs!!

- He’s the band’s drummer.  He makes remixes too!!!
- The living embodiment of “looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll”
- Quite possibly the most underrated character in the world
- He was born in Brooklyn, New York on June 3rd, 1975. He got possessed by a demon as a kid and fell into a coma for four years. After he woke up the demon got expelled tho
- When he was a teen, him and his friends were involved in a drive-by shooting. Russel was the only survivor and all of his friends possessed him, but the only one we really get to see is his closest friend, Del, he raps in Clint Eastwood and Rock the House, but we haven’t seen him since phase 1. 
- Russel misses Del very dearly, poor lad.
- After the whole shooting incident he was sent to the UK to live with his uncle.
- HE SAVED 2D FROM BEING EATEN BY A WHALE. HE’S SO UNDERAPPRECIATED 
- He’s an actual giant in phase 3 because he ate some radioactive algae 
- He loves fezzes!!!
- His hobby, besides music, is taxidermy.
- He’s the dad friend
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in

Last but not least, this is Noodle

- She plays guitar for the band. She also sings and writes songs sometimes
- Noodle is very energetic and nice but she can also kick your ass
- She was born in Osaka, Japan on October 31st 1990
- She joined the band when she was around 10 but she’s like 26 now. I forgot to mention that the band ages with real time
- As a kid she was a part of a classified child super solider project under the management of a japanese scientist named Mr. Kyuzo. this is where she learned how to be badass. She knew professional karate at like 10 how cool is that
- All of the children in that project were deemed too unstable and dangerous, so they canceled the experiment and Mr. Kyuzo was ordered to kill all of the children (fuckin dark i know). After killing them all, Mr. Kyuzo was reluctant to kill Noodle, so instead he put her in a state of amnesia and smuggled her to the UK by shipping her to Kong Studios in a FedEx crate.
- She didn’t remember anything!!! The only english thing she was able to say to say was “noodle” and that’s where she got her name.
- She learned how to speak english and remembered her past in phase 2.
- Murdoc, 2D and Russel raised her (mostly russel tho). Noodle considers Murdoc and 2D her brothers and Russel considers her his daughter how CUTE IS THAT
- She loves Pokemon
- She had a flying windmill island in phase 2 it was incredible
- She had a cute radio helmet in phase 1 
- She also has a robot version of herself called “Cyborg Noodle” in phase 3. It’s a long story but Cyborg might be coming back for phase 4.
- The interviews that she’s in can be found here!!

The backstory is too long for me to write down, but you can find it over here! I hope i explained everything clearly- if not, or if you have any questions, feel free to send me a message!! I hope this helps you c:

[TRANS] ‘WINGS’ Concept Book Interview - Jungkook

© peach_kku
KRN - ENG © ktaebwi

Thinking of <WINGS>, I feel like I have a lot in common with Sinclair in <Demian>. He wants to break free from the care of others and be an adult, and so do I. Rather than saying it’s a special album, I would say it made me think a lot after hearing the album concept. “I want to be a real adult too.”

You graduated from high school.
“If I kept studying and spending time with my friends like an ordinary person, I would think ‘So I finally became an adult’ when I graduate. But since I started living sort of an adult like since I was 15, I still feel like I’m a kid. I’m 21 but my mental age is like 15 years old. There’re a lot of adults around me too.”

Do the other members treat you as an adult?
“Rather than treating me as an adult, they tell me “You’re an adult now”. Things like ‘Be mature’, ‘You’re an adult too, act carefully’ (laughs) Especially when my jokes go too far, they tell me to stay still, to not go too far. I tend to have to go through something to know it. If they tell me so, I’ll fix myself little by little. I’m gradually learning thanks to the hyungs,”

What you said earlier is what your solo song “Begin” is about.
“There was a time when Bang Shihyuk Producer-nim and the 7 of us gathered and talked about all the stress, the distress we had been piling up for a long time, and we all cried together. Rap Monster-hyung listened to my story from that time and wrote the lyrics.”

Comparing before and after debut, do you feel you have changed a lot thanks to the members?
“I changed a lot for sure. I gained a lot of confidence too. I couldn’t even talk like this before. I kept watching the hyungs doing interviews from the side and as time goes by, I started talking little by little and eventually was able to do interviews. Hyungs really made me. I learn music by watching foreign artists and pick up basically everything else thanks to the hyungs.”

Are you the type to express your feelings well?
“I’m not good at it. I feel embarrassed even from saying thank you so I basically never do it. I’m good at complaining though. (laughs) I can complain easily but when it comes to good talks, it always feels awkward. I can do it through texts since it’s somewhat easier, but talking directly is really hard.”

BTS grows up along with each album’s story, and Jungkook grows up along with BTS too.
“Thinking of <WINGS>, I feel like I have a lot in common with Sinclair in <Demian>. He wants to break free from the care of others and be an adult, and so do I. Rather than saying it’s a special album, I would say it made me think a lot after hearing the album concept. ‘I want to be a real adult too’. Looking at the other hyungs, don’t they know themselves and do well? They can think and create something by themselves, but I still lack a lot so there’s not much I can do by myself. It’s not like I’m good at composing or anything. I want to try my best and be able to do something well.”

Are you talking about wanting to compose music?
“On some level, yes. I stayed up until 7 in the morning to try composing with MIDI the day before this interview too. I don’t know piano chords since I didn’t learn it, so playing the song’s very hard. The hyungs were all tired, I didn’t want to bother them by asking what I don’t know. I want a certain sound to be at this part but finding it is difficult, so I just try pressing every key. I keep telling the company I want to learn piano so I can start composing, and now I’m planning to properly start working with MIDI.”

But is it necessary for every member of the team to make songs?
“Just because 2-3 members of the team will make songs doesn’t mean the others don’t have to do it. It’ll be great if everyone can. Besides, the kind of music and emotions I like are different from what the other members like. I want to make my emotions into a story and hear it in sound. But I’m upset that I still can’t do it well. Not long ago I was playing with MIDI before I slept and it make me think I want to get my name on the album credit soon too.”

To what level do you want to make it?
“I haven’t considered that. I just plan to do it slowly without thinking too hastily.”

What kind of music and emotions do you like?
“I like quiet songs. The emotional and sad songs, kind of gloomy rather than bright. I really like listening to piano and guitar sounds. When I want to get excited I listen to loud songs such as hip hop or EDM, but usually I listen to quiet songs, like pop ballad.”

You have been nicknamed “Golden Maknae” for being multi-talented since debut, is there any time when you have no confidence?
“Rather than having no confidence, I’m the type to cower inside a little bit. I tend to think I have a long way to go even if I dance well, or think “I can’t sing” even if they say I sing well. I would still be like that 10 years later, when I practice and become someone who can really sing well. I would keep this thought even if I’m the ultimate vocalist. I’m originally this type of person.”

Don’t idols have to show that they think “I’m the best” on stage?
“It’s different on stage. There, I must show everything I can there and then come down. Only after that do I think about myself. It’s closer to thinking I have a long way to go than me having no confidence.”

<WINGS> contains the solo songs of each member and it somewhat revealed each person’s color a little more in various ways. What do you think is your role in BTS?
“What am I in the team… I’m curious what the hyungs think about me but I have never asked them. Can I ask like ‘What do you think about me’? (laughs) I just wish I don’t cause harm to the team, that I’m helpful. And, of course the other members are doing very well but, I hope I can become the kind of existence that without me, a part of it will fall apart. I hope I can become a member that shows our synergy when the 7 of us gather.”

To do that, it would be important to find what is of your own.
“I still don’t have it yet, my core. I’m thinking so. That’s why I have to learn more and work harder so I can step up my game. Finding what only I have is, in some ways, the goal of my life.”

BTS Explain Concepts Behind ‘Love Yourself: Her’ Album: 'This Is the Beginning of Our Chapter Two’

Mere hours before the release of BTS'Love Yourself: Her, the album’s significance wasn’t lost on the group’s leader, Rap Monster.

“It’s really a huge, big step for us,” the 23-year-old rapper/songwriter/producer told Billboard during a phone call from Seoul. “Of course, every member is so excited about the album. We’ve been just practicing until now, day and night, to show these new songs and perfected performances. I left a message on our fan cafe, the other day, after we finished that 'this EP will mark the turning point of BTS’ and even though the wait felt really long with this album – I think it was the huge event, the BBMAs, were in May – so much has happened.”

The wait has been particularly anticipated for for the band’s famously passionate fan base, known as Army, who have been waiting for new tracks from Rap Monster, Jimin, Suga, J-Hope, Jin, V and Jungkook band after voting them Top Social Artist at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards over fellow pop juggernauts Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez and Shawn Mendes.

Since then, the BTS guys have landed distribution deals with Amazon and U.S.-based The Orchard (“We believe the physical album, still, really counts and it’s really important to connect with our fans around the world,” Rap Monster said) and hung out with worldwide chart-toppers like Major Lazer, Halsey, Charli XCX(“Maybe it’s just my sixth sense, but I think maybe we will be collaborating with even more interesting artists,” he added); even snagging The Chainsmokers to produce a beat for Love Yourself: Her.

One listen to the tightly produced record – which looks likely to make a big splash on the Billboard 200 next week – and the passion is palpable from the intense lead single “DNA,” the societal commentary in “Go Go,” among multiple lyrics and moments that feel ripped from the members’ personal journals. There’s also loads of passion in Rap Monster’s voice talking about these new songs as he sees and envisions the larger picture and message for his band’s latest batch of forward-thinking EDM, hip-hop and pop tracks. Read on for Billboard’s deeper analysis of Love Yourself: Her with Rap Monster.

Let’s start right from the beginning with “Serendipity.” Why was this the right song to choose as the intro and kick off the era?

When I wrote the lyrics, melodies and the first themes of “Serendipity,” I tried to come up with some rare things you find in life, something very special, like the calico, three-striped cat; things that have extraordinary meanings in people’s lives. I wanted to share this moment.

I was reading the lyrics are gender neutral, which I think is really powerful. Was that a conscious decision?

The lyrics were based on rare and special things in life. So, I thought, those feelings transcend genders, cultures and barriers between people.

We always put out the “Intro” just before releasing our single, so the intro is taking the role of telling the concept of this album. But “Serendipity” was actually the right song to share the feelings of our single, “DNA.” The title is about how our DNA is connected in the universe, I think that was the right feel for this album.

Let’s talk about “DNA.” How does this single continue and progress the story of BTS?

When we’re talking about our title tracks, “DNA” is about the expression of a young, passionate love. The lyrics are like, “The two of us our connected fatefully from the start, our DNA was just the one thing.” At the same time, “DNA” is taking BTS to new ground. We tried to apply new grammar and perspectives – if you listen to the song, you’ll understand what I’m trying to say – it’s very different from our previous music, technically and musically. I believe it’s going to be the starting point of a second chapter of our career; the beginning of our Chapter Two.

“Best of Me” is really impressive. It sounds like The Chainsmokers, but it also sounds like BTS. You didn’t lose yourself which isn’t easy when collaborating with new artists. What was that process like?

I love that track! We met them at BBMAs, we were so lucky. Actually, they invited us to their concert just the other day – they had a huge concert in Korea and we sang “Closer” together. For “Best of Me,” they gave us several tracks and samples months ago, we and our producers picked one sample, like, “Okay, this is fit for our next album.” So we worked on it, we sent it to them, we asked them what they think of the track we developed and got their opinions. And we made it! I’m so excited for it. [Laughs]

Your albums always have deeper social and society commentaries. Let’s talk about some of the topics with this release. “Go Go” instantly comes to mind.

“Go Go” is a trendy song, but it’s about how our young generation are living their lives with low expectations and standards so people are upset with reality; they have little hope and there’s so much economic hardship. We wanted to say something about it and emphasize to the world that it’s not their choice, but brutal reality that forces people to live and spend as if there’s no future.

But in Korea, “YOLO” has become a big key word for young people because we don’t have money and it’s really hard to get a chance to earn a lot of money. I think society has a lot of problems for young people. Young people spend their money on claw crane machines at arcades and they spend like $30 on trying to win these dolls. And then it’s like, “Oh! I spent all my money…shit. But I don’t regret.” That’s the biggest luxury for Korea’s young people: collecting accessories, cosmetics, that’s what they think is a luxury. It’s “YOLO” because it’s like, “I’m gonna buy all this! I’m gonna buy all this food and I’m going to eat it! I’m going to do it!” I think it’s sad because it’s all we can. “Go Go” is just saying, “Okay, just do it, we won’t regret it. Just spend several bucks on the machine and eat the food!” But at the same time, the song is very easily to sing along to so I think many people will like that song, especially if they find the deeper meaning.

Of course, I have to ask about making a skit interlude out of your BBMAs acceptance speech.

You need to hear “Mic Drop” because the skit was my speech at BBMAs –  because that was a big moment for our history – and then we put “Mic Drop” next to that because it’s like a flex – like, “Okay, we’re done. We don’t need to give a shit about anything.” That was the right skit and follow-up song for this album.

The last song, “Outro: Her” really spoke to me. It almost reads like a diary.

Ha! [Laughs]

After talking with you, it feels like it recaps the whole album and is really introspective.

I think that was the fastest work I did for this album. I wrote the verse in 20 minutes; it just came, very truthfully, from the bottom of my heart. I thought it was the right outro for this album because it is really a range of emotions – I’m saying I met this person that I really love, this person is the love of my life right now, I’m saying that I was confused and I was looking for love and this world is complex. But I think it’s you so, “I call you 'her,’ 'cause you’re my tear.” “I think you’re the start and the end of me.” That’s what I’m saying: You’re my wonder, but you’re also my answers. You’re my “her,” but you’re still the “tear.”

The hook is saying that love is not all about the happiness, it’s just not just about the joy, it’s not just about delight. If you want to love a person, you should know that there are tears and there can even be hatred inside of it. I think a love really includes all of that. That’s what I was trying to say. It’s complex.

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track – if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 – they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts.

© Jeff Benjamin @ Billboard

;settle down (m)

pairing— min yoongi x reader, roommate! yoongi
genre/warnings— smut, angst, fluff, slow buuurrrn, enemies to lovers
words— 14,930

:: summary— An unfortunate event finds you living with the man you practically despise over the summer. However, maybe through a series of fortunate events, you find yourself falling for him…

note— this is a remastered version of the originally story I wrote called ‘and july’ (found here) that I wrote for suho back when I started this blog, albeit slightly (very?) different.

Keep reading

Ways to enhance your intuition

Exercises:

These exercises can be done in two ways. You can either pick one paper up and try to guess what is on the paper, or you can think of a paper and try to find it in the pieces of paper. If you feel you need more pieces of paper by all means add more. If you work with deities, your higher self, spirits of any sorts, please feel free to invite them to help you with these exercises, if you’d like.

  • The number exercise: cut four, same sized pieces of paper with the numbers 1-4 written on them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Pick one up and try to guess which number it is.
  • The shape exercise: cut four, same sized pieces of paper, and draw a star, a heart, a circle and a cube on them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Pick one up and try to guess which shape it is.
  • The color exercise: cut four, same size pieces of paper, and add a different color to all of them. Turn them downwards and mix them up. Try to guess which paper has which color on them.
  • The quiz exercise: find a quiz online that you know nothing about - this may be a science quiz, a pop culture quiz, a quiz about a band, or the Viking history quiz. Take the quiz and try to guess the answers.
  • The object exercise: Get a older object, works best if it’s given by a friend do you and examine it. Try to pick up the objects energies and try to see/hear/smell the person that the object is tied to. It’s best done with a friend because they will most likely know some information about the person and they can tell if you’re right or wrong.
  • The card exercise: Pick one card up from a deck and try to see the color, the shape and the number of that card. You can also do this with tarot cards, try to feel the cards energies.
  • Divination: it’s a great exercise for enhancing your psychic abilities and the range of tools you can do divination with is enormous. So, find the one that calls to you and start divining. 

In my experience these are the main exercises which you can sit and work on but they’re not the only ones. Intuition can be worked on throughout the day even in the most mundane tasks:

  • Try to guess who texted you or is calling you before you pick up the phone.
  • If other people cook for you, try to guess what you’re having for lunch before seeing it.
  • Try to pick up what your friend is going to tell you before they do.
  • Try to guess when the light is going to turn green at a traffic light.
  • Think of a person, and try seeing what they’re doing at the moment. After you’re done, ask them whatsup.
  • When talking to a friend on the phone try to see what they’re wearing, what their hair is like, and/or what they’re doing and ask them.
  • When you get up try to sense what the weather is going to be like today.
  • When at the store and you’re waiting in line try to sense how much the person before you needs to pay.
  • Tell a friend to think of a number and try to guess that number.
  • When listening to music on shuffle, try to sense what the next song is going to be.
  • When people close to you talk on the phone try and sense who they’re talking to and ask them afterwards. (only if they’re comfortable with it, not all people would like their privacy invaded, my friends and family know why I’m doing that so they’re cool with it)
  • Try to sense what a close friends text is saying before you open it, or try to sense why they’re calling you.

These are all I can think of a t the moment, hopefully in the future I’m going to add more. Basically anytime, anywhere when you have some space left to guess what’s going to happen, do it.

MEDITATION: I can’t stress how important meditation is, especially to witches, mages, shamans, and all occult practitioners in general. I know it sounds boring when people tell you to meditate but we all need some time to relax and clear our heads. And in the moments of blissful relaxation we let out soul speak to us the most thus coming into our strongest potential where we can energetically change our DNA and rewire our brains. In the moment of deep relaxation you can focus on cleansing your pineal gland / increasing your intuition. 

I like to imagine purple/indigo color and lavender flowers coming out of my pineal gland spreading and covering my whole body and aura. I also like to imagine roots stretching from my pineal gland bursting through my forehead opening an eye in the centre of it. I like to massage the centre of my forehead, and I like taping an amethyst to it lol.

There are lots of guided meditations on youtube, which are extremely helpful, and there are lots of binaural beats and isochronic tones, which are also very helpful. Just find your comfort zone to working on the pineal gland and focus on it. Don’t feel bad if per say, isochronic tones don’t work for you but storm sounds do work. Find your comfort zone and work within it.

Also you might want to check out Sun Gazing, which is a very powerful exercise you’re going to need to dedicate yourself to. 

Pineal gland detoxification: 

  • Avoid ingesting fluoride - I know this is hard, seeing at the people on top put fluoride in literally everything knowing what it’s doing to our brains. But there are alternatives, the internet is a huge place and you can find almost everything there. Avoid fluoridated water, fluoridated toothpaste, GMO fruits and vegetables, soda, all artificial foods and drinks. Try to eat healthy and organically and if possible reduce eating meat - and cutting it off completely. 
  • Avoid sleeping with technology in your room if possible - this means wireless routers, mobile phones, computers etc. The pineal gland is suppressed by electro magnetic fields.
  • Avoid or if you can, completely cut off all sugar, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol and drugs.


Once you’ve detoxified your body and pineal gland it’s time to start working on activating and boosting your pineal gland:

  • Spend time in sunlight every day - or as much as you can. Practice sungazing as well, and it is best done when the sun has risen or in the moments it’s going away because the sun is the weakest then and it can’t harm your eyes and it won’t bother you.
  • Oils and incense - 
  • Sleep and meditate in complete darkness.
  • Commit to meditation every day.
  • Dedicate rituals to your third eye - whether it be a bath ritual, once in a full moon ritual, a day of the week ritual, or whenever you feel like it ritual, do it.
  • Practice yoga, especially Yoga Nidra as it is the most powerful yogic practice to increase the blood flow to your pineal gland.
  • Eat food that boosts the pineal gland - raw cocoa, coconut oil, lemon - the body’s best friend, basically the master of detox, garlic, raw apple cider vinegar, goji berries, watermelon, honey, hemp seeds, iodine, vitamin K1/K2, boron, bananas, alkaine food, chlorophyll rich foods, oregano oil, sea moss, walnuts, turmeric and melatonin.
  • Crystals that stimulate the pineal gland - amethyst, lapis lazuli, clear quartz, moonstone, sodalite. You can meditate with these crystals on your forehead daily, you can tape a crystal on your forehead and stay like that for a while, or you can massage your forehead with it.
  • Chant - there are a lot of chants to boost your pineal gland, you can google some, I’ve found that OM works best for me.
  • Plants that enhance intuition - ginger, gotu kola, ginkgo, skullcap, elder leaf, berries and flower, fennel, lavender, lemongrass, saffron, bay leaves, rosemary, honey suckle, anise, eyebright, lotus, mimosa, sandalwood, burning acacia, cinnamon, buchu leaves, celery, lilac, mint, mugwort, solomons leaf, frankincense, jasmine, lemon, peppermint, rose, sage, vanilla and star anise.
  • Oils - bay laurel, carrot seed, galbanum, german chamomile, grapefruit, myrrh, nutmeg, palo santo, petitgrain, roman chamomile, sandalwood, st. john’s wort, angelica root, eleni, juniper, frankincense, rosemary and patchouli.
  • Incense - ambergris, bay leaf, anise, cinnamon, frankincense, honeysuckle, jasmine, lemon, lemongrass, lotus, magnolia, peppermint, rose, sage, sandalwood, vanilla, heliotrope, basil and eucalyptus. 

And most important of all - trust your gut! The problem with not listening to our intuition is when our rational, logical mind interferes and tries to come up with logical solutions as to why your intuition is wrong. Whenever you get that gut feeling, just go with it, don’t question it. Also always remember to protect yourself when working on your pineal gland, seeing as we are more open and vulnerable to psychic attacks during these moments.

Study methods, (sorted and organised af)

Originally posted by eminaanimeme

We all find ourselves in a pinch when studying for a particular subject, or some concepts or just studying in general. And then we play the blame game - I’m stupid, I suck at studying, I dumb, yadda yadda yadda.

But sometimes, the fault isn’t ours. Our study skills are largely influenced by external factors that have nothing to do with our brain (because well all humans have the same brain to begin with, yeah? It’s just some know how to use that thing, and some are still learning how to). So here’s so ways that might help you make the most of all sorts of things that are thrown your way:


1. Teachers


Originally posted by horrorandhalloween

Teachers influence our academics deeply and therefore it is important to know how to adjust our methods according to the types of teachers that teach us!

“The best teacher ever”

  • You love them, and are generally doing well in their class.
  • They know how to balance the amount of speech and writing part in class just perfectly and their explanations are heavenly.
  • For their subjects, practice papers are the best because they’ll help you lock all the info in your mind for eternities.
  • Solve as many tests as you can find, and get all your doubts solved by them at the end and I promise you will never have difficulty with that particular chapter again!


“The I’m-gonna-fill-the-board-with-my-marker teacher”

  • Doesn’t even bother speaking, just enters the class and starts writing up stuff in the board.
  • Class is generally noisy because their backs are turned towards you 90% of the time.
  • Just copy down everything form the board. Don’t leave out a single word.
  • Review whatever you’ve written once you get home and find out what is it that you don’t understand.
  • You’re lucky if they teach you math /physics /numericals based topics, because you have an entire guide on how to solve each type of sum with steps and formulas!
  • Once you’ve marked your doubts, take them to the teacher, or to any other teacher who teaches the same topics and get it cleared. Pretty sure you’ll rock their subject!


“The speaker”

  • Babbles on and on all the time, doesn’t know that the board exists.
  • Won’t even breathe in between the doesn’t care if nobody is listening - they’ll finish their part at all costs.
  • Try recording their lectures, you don’t necessarily have to take notes in class.
  • Once you get home, play the entire lecture and take notes now - you’re most likely to cover all important points.
  • If there’s something you don’t understand /think you missed, get your doubts solved by them or maybe online. This way you can do some time pass in class while not missing out at the same time!


“The quiz master”

  • Asks hella lot of questions, engages the class as much as possible.
  • Best thing to do in their class is to sit in front (it won’t make you a loser really) and listen to their questions carefully, note them down and participate.
  • Participating will get you noticed and also help build your confidence - and you get to impress the teacher so it’s a win win!
  • Prepare some questions for them in advance and keep asking, this will create a sense of ‘I’m a good student’ kinda thing in you (trust me I feel like a heavenly potato) and get your queries solved!


2. Subjects


Originally posted by a-night-in-wonderland

There are subjects that you’re so good at you could practically teach them, and then there’s math (no offence, math lovers). And physics. And chemistry. And everything that you don’t know.


Problem solving subjects

  • Math and physics can be a real pain, but referring to solved examples in your textbook, or your teacher’s solutions makes then 37363x easier.
  • A list of formulas is a must, I prefer sorting my formulas chapter wise in sticky notes but you can totally make a 'formula + solving methods cheatsheet’ to help for finals!
  • Practice problems are life savers!! Keep solving until you’re pretty sure you’ll crack these types of questions.
  • Mostly there is a certain way of solving certain problems, figure out that common way for a bunch of problems and nite the method down. All you need to do during the exam is figure out what type of problem you are dealing with and how to solve it will be known to you automatically!
  • Find a good teacher - maybe a school teacher, a tutor, a classmate or maybe your dad who happens to be a math expert. You need one person to guide you through the “numerical labyrinth”. There are many awesome people on the Internet (studyblrs I’m looking at y'all) who can help.


“Theory based subjects”

  • History and essay writing type of subjects can be difficult to tackle, since there’s no logic you need to apply here - they only test your memory half the time.
  • Bullet points are so helpful when taking notes for such subjects idk I just fall in love with words that are bullet pointed.
  • Aesthetic note making, embellishments and all that jazz totally works here because the more time you spend with the information, the better you remember it and are able to retain it.
  • Try recording the lectures and playing them in your free time (as podcasts and all), maybe when cleaning your room or making yourself breakfast or doing mundane chores.
  • I once slept with my earphones on and was playing 'the French revolution’ and the next day I topped our test on that topic. Now this may not be a legit tip but hey - you’re sleeping. Come on.


“Diagram and sciency subjects”

  • Most of us consider biology to be our favourite, but fail to do well in it sometimes. This is because we’re studying the whole thing wrongly.
  • Biology can be a very visual subject so all you artists bring out your creativity!
  • Imagining the structures of your body, an animal’s body, plant’s body, cell’s body heck any body will help you clarify the concepts in your mind.
  • Try breaking up large words to understand what they mean. I began learning Latin (and abandoned the effort) to grasp the biological terms better and it helps! Your language is strong - your biology is strong.
  • Aesthetic notes all the way down!
  • Chemistry can be made pretty looking with colourful reactions on paper, and there’s always mnemonics to make it fun.
  • I always try to form mnemonics which reference my favourite songs/dialogue /fandom stuff to spice stuff up. For example, to remember the preference order of functional groups during nomenclature I came up with “PS Sam Winchester Loves Eileen And they go on A date Next friday” (hey spn peeps how’s this?). Write down the first initial of every word you need to remember and come up with combinations, you’ll love it!


“Easy af subjects”

  • Personality Development and Social Science were these type of subjects for me.
  • All I did was read through the textbook the night before exams and I’d get a pretty good score.
  • Tree diagrams and tables often help with these.
  • Explaining the stuff to someone does the job too!


“Languages”

  • Three things - Duolingo /memrise /any app, flashcards, YouTube.
  • Your textbook is likely to have lots of practice activities, solve each one of them.
  • YouTube will help you with the pronouncing part - check out songs in your target language to improve!
  • Grammar is important, so you understand your grammar in the beginning and your base is strong.
  • Come up with terms in your head in your target language, although they’re wrong - there will be a point where you’ll be thinking in that language as a habit.
  • Don’t be afraid to mispronounce, vomit words as much as possible.
  • If you don’t have a vocabulary book, make one right away!
  • Langblrs are so amazing don’t let that resource slip out of your hands!


3. Random tips


Originally posted by maths-and-books

  • Change of environment usually motivate you so keep changing your study space from time to time.
  • Ana Mascara, study with jess, @studyquill @revisign @tbhstudying @studywithinspo have some fabulous YouTube channels and they make 'study with me’ vids too which are just too motivating so check them out!
  • Khanacademy, CrashCourse, ASAP science are there to clear your doubts - use the resources!
  • Keep two notebooks - one for class which has messy notes and scribbles and another for home with the neat and aesthetic ish.
  • Keep track of your portion and note your syllabus.
  • Highly recommended - study journal. Want me make a long ass post about it? Lemme know!
  • Playing teacher is a promised way to engrave the info in your mind. So go teach your friends or mom or dog or teddy! Teach me if you want to!
  • Make sure you have a no study day at least once 2 weeks? Because it’s important. We don’t want to get burned out!
  • Ted talks can be motivating!
  • Writing mock exams is so helpful you should totally do it!
  • Sleep is more important than you think it is, so sleep. Go dream the hell out!


That’s all for now folks, hope this helps a bit! My inbox is always open if you guys have any questions!

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

teaching yourself a language

i’ve gotten questions multiple times about how to start learning swedish and how to go about when starting learning a new language, so i thought i’d make a masterpost about it. obviously learning differs from person to person, especially with languages, but this is what i do to study french, and what i’ve found best works for me

apps to get started: 

if you know nothing about a language a good place to get started is with basic words and basic grammar. there are a lot of apps / websites to choose from, some of the most popular are

  • Duolingo, has the benefit of being free, and has 27 languages to choose from. with Duolingo you start with the basics of “hello”, “my name is” “i am” and it gradually gets harder the better you get. make sure you don’t only use it as an app though, because then you’ll miss the grammar explanations available on the website
  • Babbel, unlike Duolingo Babbel isn’t free, and Babbel only has 14 languages to choose from. starts off similar to Duolingo but with Babbel you get more detailed grammar explanations and you don’t fall into the trap of having to learn long lists of words relating to one very specific subject before learning basic grammar, as you do with Duolingo. In Babbel you can also choose the courses that feel relevant to you, and don’t have to clear a certain course to move on to the next one
  • Memrise, works similarly to the two above. there is a free version but you have to pay to get to PRO level

this type of course is a great foundation for learning a language, and almost vital when first starting out (if you’re learning on your own), but make sure it’s not your only source, and that you’re continuously talking to native speakers, reading, watching movies, listening to the radio and so on to get a grip on what the language is like when spoken naturally

hearing the language:

watching tv and movies

when watching tv and movies you could either do it in two different ways, with different benefits

  • with subtitles (in language spoken), the benefit with this is that you can read a word or sentence and directly see how it’s pronounced, and vice versa. the downside is that this way easily draws attention away from the speech, it’s easy to get carried away focusing on the subtitles
  • without subtitles, the benefit with this is that you have to really focus on what is being said and how it’s pronounced, and you learn to understand the language spoken, rather than just written as in the subtitles

watching documentaries

  • watching documentaries is a great way to learn how to understand the language spoken. the language used is natural and not simplified for people trying to learn it, but it has a naturally slow tempo which makes it easy to keep up with

listening to the radio

  • even if you don’t understand a single word of what is being said when starting, listening to the radio is always a great way to pick up pronunciation. after a while as you get better you’ll start recognizing words and sentences, and you start understanding more and more. listening to the radio is also good as you get to hear how native speakers actually talk, including slang, idioms, buffer noises and other things

listening to music

  • listening to music works in the same way as listening to the radio, but is often a lot more fun! you learn the pronunciation and can sing along. disney songs are usually quite simple and offer written lyrics, so i’d say that’s a good way to start!

reading: 

reading is one of the most important things to do when learning a language, and has the added benefit of learning about the culture of the language if you read literature from that country (which i recommend you do). i recommend starting with children’s books and cartoons and then moving on to more advanced literature the better you get. you can go about reading in your target language in two ways

  • reading continuously without pausing and trying to understand the words you don’t know based on the context. it’s also good to go back and reread, if you do this chances are you’ll pick up things that you didn’t understand the first time
  • pausing and looking up every word you don’t recognize. doing this won’t really increase your ability to read in your target language, but it can be a good way to build up a vocabulary

writing: 

writing a diary

writing in your target language is a good way to learn to think in your target language and to use it naturally. i write a diary in french every day, and it’s been incredibly rewarding! but make sure this isn’t your only source, as that could make your language sound quite alien and unnatural. i made a more detailed post about the benefits of writing a diary in your target language which you can find here x

chatting online

chatting with native speakers online is a good complement to writing a diary. it has the same effects of learning to think in the language and using it daily, but when chatting with someone else you’ll be corrected, which stops you from developing bad and unnatural habits in your target language. you’ll also see how the native speakers use the language and which formulations they use. there are two apps, that i know about, designed to let you talk to native speakers

  • HelloTalk
  • Tandem

they both work pretty much the same, you enter your native language and other languages that you may speak fluently, and which language you’d like to learn. then you’ll be matched with people who want to learn your language and who speaks the language that you want to learn

talking:

talking is the most essential, and hardest part of learning a language. i practice talking by repeating words from Duolingo and Babbel and reading out loud from books. if you’re using Tandem or HelloTalk you can also video chat and send audio messages back and forth. there’s always the classic way of practicing by talking in the shower or with your pet! the best way to learn how to speak in your target language though would be to go to the country where the language is spoken


i think the most important thing to think about when starting a new language is to emerge yourself in it as much as you possibly can, and making the language a natural part of your day


i hope this post was helpful! if anyone has some other tips, feel free to put them in the comments or in the reblogs, good luck!

Hoe Tips: Self Love/Self Confidence

The key to being a boss hoe is loving yourself, and reminding yourself that you👏are👏the👏shit👏. I know this is easier said than done sometimes, so here are some tips to change your self perspective, and honestly to change your life.

1. I know this is going to sound cliche, but eating healthy and exercising does WONDERS. Taking care of yourself physically is a huge aspect of taking care of yourself mentally, as it balances out hormones, produces endorphins, and makes you generally look and feel better.

2. For body confidence: take selfies. Take several. Try out different filters, angles, and lighting and see what you look best in. If you’re comfortable, even take some nudes or lingerie pics to boost your ego. Snapchat has a feature called My Eyes Only where you can passcode protect any pictures you don’t want people seeing to keep all of your selfies and nudes.

3. Cut off people who treat you like shit. Cut off people who aren’t important to you. Cut off people that contribute nothing to geting you where you want to be. Delete numbers, block social media accounts, whatever you have to do. Be civil if you interact with them, but do not let them suck you in.

4. Learn to say no. Say no to things that make you uncomfortable, or things that hurt you, or things that may put the things you work hard for at risk. You are not obligated to do anything that you don’t want to do. Say no, and don’t apologize, because it is your RIGHT to say no.

5. Take yourself on a date. Go for a walk, see a movie, eat at your favorite restaurant/cafe. I like to make a habit of doing this once at least every couple of weeks, for some alone time.

6. If you’re comfortable, or at least willing to try, masturbate. Invest in a sex toy, or rely on your fingers, and go to town. Physical pleasure can do *wonders* for your mood and your self confidence.

7. Do your hair/makeup/wardrobe the👏way👏you👏want👏. Pick out looks that you KNOW flatter you, and invest in more items and styles like it. Toss/donate clothes or items you don’t like, and make sure that the only things in your vanity/closet are things that you know you slay in.

8. Make playlists that make you feel like a boss ass bitch. Beyonce, Rihanna, 5H, Nicki, and Ciara are some personal faves of mine, but any songs that make you feel sexy or in charge will do. Listen to them in the car, during your workout, just laying around, etc.

9. Every month, reserve a day to treat yourself; do some yoga or workout, take an epsom salt bath instead of a shower, soak your feet (warm water+baking soda in a little bucket=super duper soft feet), paint your nails, do your eyebrows, do a face mask, meditate, read a book, knit, draw, paint, go for a walk, get a massage. Develop a monthly routine to have a day for yourself and do whatever it is that makes you feel best.

10. Invest in a freakum dress; everybody needs one outfit (doesn’t even have to be a dress) that you know DAMN well you look fine in. Mine is a black bodycon dress with ribbed sides and black heels, I look and feel like a bad bitch in it. When you feel down, put on ya freakum dress. Look in the mirror, examine your angles, hype yourself tf up because you fuckin slayyy boo

11. Educate yourself. Pick a topic that you want to learn more about (it can be anything, from an artist to a particular science to a sport) and research it. Do one topic per week, and be amazed with how much you learn and absorb. Treating your brain is too often neglected, and being rich in knowledge is the best kind of rich you can be.

12. Keep a journal. Write out what you feel about yourself, what moves you have made to take care of yourself, and what situations you can work on. This will help you keep track of your self love progress, and you can look back at certain steps for motivation.

13. Give yourself something to look forward to each day. Pack a delicious lunch before you go to bed, make plans with a loved one, reserve an hour for your favorite show, lay out your favorite clothes the night before, plan a nap, whatever motivates you to wake up a little happier the next day.

14. Watch ASMR videos or podcasts (you can find them on YouTube). These are videos that focus solely on sounds (wrappers being crinkled, nails being tapped, whispering, etc.), and stimulating your senses. Some get a tingly feeling from listening to specific sounds, others find it easier to relax/focus. It sounds stupid, but it genuinelt changed my life.

15. If you genuinely feel that you need more than just self-help tutorials on Tumblr, do NOT be afraid to seek professional help. There are plenty of affordable, helpful therapists, hotlines, and counselors to assist you in any emotional conflicts that you may be having. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is not something to give up on if the first try at therapy doesn’t work out for you. If you feel you need it, please please please, seek help.

16. Quit drinking/smoking/doing drugs if you do any of them. This one should go without saying.

17. Make a bucket list; list places you want to go, things you want to do, concerts you want to see, and start doing them one by one.

18. When you make minor mistakes (a bad grade, a missed play in a sport, an embarrassing moment, etc), use the two minute rule; take two minutes to be upset, assess the situation, establish what you could’ve done differently, and move on. After two minutes, take the issue as a lesson, instead of as a mistake. Learning that you are human, and furthermore mentally establishing how to be a better one, is a HUGE aspect in self love.

19. Know your worth. You are a human being, capable of endless things. You have your own flaws, and your own talents, and your own assets that are unique and individual to YOU. You can wear whatever, sleep with whoever, date whoever, eat whatever, do whatever, as long as you 1) respect legal values and the values of others, and 2) remember your own value. Do not let anyone demean you, because you are more than someone’s critique of you.

That’s all I can think of for now. Love yourselves, babies. I know from personal experience that it’s hard to go from rock bottom to the throne, but I swear with patience and resilience, it can be done. My messages are open for anyone who needs to talk or has any questions. Stay safe, queens💞

country singer bitty accidentally writes a hit about nhl player jack

Based on this post about the inspiration for Dolly Parton’s Jolene, which is somehow even gayer than the song itself. Bless you, Dolly.


It had started out so innocently.

Bitty had been tired after hours of this meet n’ greet, and when that tall drink of water walked up to get his autograph, Bitty couldn’t help the words that tumbled out of his mouth.

“Gosh, well aren’t you the most handsome fella I’ve ever seen,” he said, reached for the outstretched CD–CD! Who even bought CDs anymore?–and readied his Sharpie. “What’s your name, hun?”

“Uh, Jack,” the man said, pretty eyes going wide. If he’d been more awake, Bitty might’ve felt bad for making a fan uncomfortable. But if this Jack really were a fan, then he certainly wouldn’t have a problem with another man complimenting him. And besides, he was handsome, with his wide shoulders and high cheekbones and eyes as blue as the summer sky.

Keep reading

A Guide to The Adventure Zone metaplot

So recently, I re-listened to the entirety of TAZ in prep for the ending and took notes; as we head into the finale next week, I wanted to share them! This is a comprehensive look at every plot thread, bit of foreshadowing, and yet-unresolved ideas as we head into endgame. This involves heavy spoilers through the most recent episode (66) and assumes you have already listened or read the content before.

The full is under the cut!

Keep reading

Missing Link

Missing Link (m)

Word count: 6.3k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, talk of masterbation and language

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?


“Yoongi~”

“Yes, Y/N?” Yoongi said as he watched tv, happy to be home after a long day with you. 


“Will you please go with me tonight? I don’t want to go by myself.”

Yoongi sighed on the couch next to you. “Y/N, i’m too old to be going to these college parties.”

Keep reading

170918 BTS ‘LOVE YOURSELF: Her’ Press Conference - Compilation

- Rap Monster: “LOVE YOURSELF: Her is a series following after ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ and ‘WINGS’. This album takes the role of ‘seung’ in ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ and features 11 songs.” (TV Report) (seung: explanation, gi seung jeon gyeol: introduction - explanation - twist - conclusion)

- Rap Monster: “I think this album will become one of our turning points.” (TV Report)

- Jin: “Please love our song ‘DNA’ that contains our DNA.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I was greatly surprised when I heard the news about the number of pre-orders. It was 700,000 for the last album and we were very grateful to our fans and everyone who listened to our album then too. This time we thought we shall grow a little greedier and it would possibly reach 800,000 orders, we were greatly surprised seeing the news. I’m grateful that this many people love us. I think the pre-orders represent the trust and love for our music, I’m really grateful.” (Herald Pop)

- Rap Monster: “‘DNA’ contains our message of reconciliation and unite that we want to throw at the society.” (Mydaily)

- [About the meaning of ‘harmony’] Rap Monster: “I think love is an ability. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. I often hear people saying that love is an illusional and vague thing these days. I thought about the method of loving. The time we spend looking into ourselves is getting lesser ad lesser because of smart phones and news media. I consider loving oneself to be the answer to many things. We don’t have the confidence to love ourselves completely, but we want to try and think about that answer. Starting from loving ourselves. That’s how it started. Although we haven’t been able to find that answer yet, we hope we can as we go along with the ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ series.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- [About the whistle sound] Rap Monster: “I and Jungkook did the whistling together but I don’t know which one they used.” (News Inside)

- [About new goals] Suga: “Whenever we receive this question, we always said that our goal is to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The Hot 100 chart actually requires having many albums sold, having songs streamed a lot and another important thing is radio play. This is not easy at all. We are holding expectation whether it will come true this time, but luckily US radio stations are giving us a lot of attention and select our songs often, so we’re carefully placing hope this time. Our album is being sold in the US this time and so many people are showing expectation and attention for us so we want to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart this time.” (Newsen)

- Jimin: “I really want us to top the digital music chart when the digital album is released. I hope many people will love all of our songs this time as well as give BTS who always attempt new things a lot of love.” (Newsen)

- ‘DNA’ is a song of an uncommonly seen music structure in K-pop, featuring the foreign trendy EDM pop genre and bold use of beat drop. The song contains the message ‘we are entwined by fate from the beginning, we are one from the DNA’. (Newsen)

- Suga: “BTS members and the company staff often hold meetings together. The album concepts are from our thoughts and the producers’ thoughts merged together. When we first debuted, we each were busy making our own music, but now we combine BTS’ thoughts and the company’s ones and come up with the concepts.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I often have meetings and hang out with the company staff. I talk with the producers, including Bang Shihyuk PD. The company keeps an eye on what we think.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I always want to give good influence socially. Whenever I see people who like us, I feel a sense of responsibility. It can be become their inspiration or be left as good impression to them, but I think even mere appreciation like enjoying listening to our music or feeling our dance to be cool can also give good influence. I’m feeling the responsibility to keep offering good influence.” (Newsen)

- Suga: “Music is an extraordinary act that can moves someone. I hope the world will eventually become a world where many people are happy.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- [About ‘GO Rather Than Worrying’] Suga: “These days the young generation uses words like ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’, and I can’t understand why they use those words that much. We interpreted it from the perspective of BTS (in the song), I hope you would think about why the young generation uses ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’ while listening.” (Mydaily)

- [About ‘DNA’ music video] Suga: “We emphasized on the fancy impression to portray the feeling of falling in love. I was amazed every time I see the music video filming set, because it was so beautiful. I feel good since the result will come out great.” (Sports Joseon)

- Jin: “‘Best Of Me’ is a great song to listen to with lyrical melodies. This song was mixed by a partner who works together with The Chainsmokers. I hope many people would listen to it.” (Sports Joseon)

- Rap Monster: “There’s a famous performance in which president Obama dropped his mic to wrap up the new year speech. It was one of the performances that hold the meaning ‘My speech was good, right?’. ‘MIC Drop’ is a track connected with it. It features a lot of our swag and ambitions and was inspired by president Obama’s speech.” (Seoul Kyungje)

- [About collaboration with Seo Taiji] V: “He gave us support and told us that it’s our era now. I can truly feel that it’s an honor to be able to perform together with such a legendary senior singer.” (Mydaily)

- Jin: “Seo Taiji-sunbaenim told me that I can call him ‘father’. I was grateful that he used the word ‘Seo Taiji and Sons’.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I call him ‘hyungnim’. He’s way younger than my father.” (Mydaily)

- [About why the start of the series is ‘seung’ (explanation) and not ‘gi’ (introduction)] Suga: “When we consider the process of falling in love as ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’, I think the stage where we are the most immersed in love would be ‘seung’, so the album started as ‘seung’. There will come a moment when you understand why ‘seung’ comes out now if you follow our album sequence in the future.” (Mydaily)

- Rap Monster: “I think a lot about where our goal should be. When we first debuted, I couldn’t even think of working together with The Chainsmokers. Performing at the Gymnastics Stadium was our goal before debut, but now all kinds of unimaginable proposals are coming from inside and outside of our company. I’m curious about how far we can go. Our abstract goal is to climb up to the top and leave a milestone in the history like how PSY-sunbaenim did.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- Suga: “We followed the path of the senior singers and now we too need to build that path and advance further. I hope we can build better paths with better sides of us.” (Joynews24)

- BTS: “Although figures are important, we want to show good music and good performance.” (Joynews24)

Homestuck Beach Headcanons

John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.

Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.

Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).

Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.

Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.

Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.

Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.

Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.

Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.

Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.

Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.

Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.

Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.

Yoongi

BOYFRIEND BANGTAN | YOONGI VERSION

WORD COUNT: 1,210

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by sugasuite

masterlist | ask

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Whipped Cream (Jungkook smut)

Originally posted by nnochu


Description: Jungkook is your roommate. Among other things, his habit for baking shirtless made it… ‘difficult’ to live with him.

Themes: Smut, baker, collage, roommate au

This fic contains: Smut, adult content, food play, arguing, drinking, mentions of threesomes, swearing

Characters: Jungkook x You, Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung

words: 7.5k

For this fic I used inspirations of food play and the roommate au from two anons <3

A/N: I refused to come back from my hiatus until I had something for my lovely and patient followers <3 (also, I was keen to come back so i’ll edit this and fix mistakes later)

@chanyeolingss, @jn-jngkk, @sugaspen <3


It wasn’t necessarily the pile of dishes or the trail of clothes that seemed to almost constantly hover around Jungkook like he was some annoying ass Avatar or something that got you so mad. It wasn’t the thick fragrance of his cologne or body wash that drifted through the open plan of your shared apartment every morning, or the smell of his musky sweat when he returned home from his evening jog, or from when he emerges from his room- having clearly just having a ‘fucking mind blowing’ wank. It wasn’t the soft melodies, or exciting electronic beats that flooded from his open window and into yours, nor his big and copious amounts of jackets and coats that made it nearly impossible to get your own fucking clothes from the rack next to the front door. Your frequent burning irritation had nothing to do with his presence, with the evidence of his existence in your apartment and life; it was with the man behind it all. It was with him. With fucking Jeon Jungkook. Ok, and maybe it was also for his fucking annoying baking habits. Did he really need to bring that shit home? Didn’t he get sick of it at work?

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[TRANS] non-no Magazine 2018 Jan Issue - 100 Answers w/ BTS

JPN - KRN © 전정국 DC갤러리, 뷔 DC갤러리, ha_ru_man, BTSR_613
KRN - ENG © ktaebwi

JUNGKOOK

Q1. Your dream job when you were a child?
A badminton player when I was in elementary school. After that my parents bought me a computer so I got into gaming and wanted to do a job about gaming.

Q2. How did the members celebrate your birthday in 2017?
We were all practicing singing and dancing and the lights suddenly went off, then the door was opened and Jimin-san and V-san came in holding a cake.

Q3. When do you feel like you have become an adult!
I turned 20 in Japanese age in September! But actually I’m still a kid at heart, so truthfully I don’t really feel like I have become an adult.

Q4. In which moment do you feel like you’re still a kid?
For example, when I watch and think about a video or an interview. When I read people’s comments, I feel like even with the same question, they think from a much bigger point of view than me. That’s when I feel like maybe I’m still lacking in depth.

Q5. A work that touched you recently?
“Love, Rosie”. It made me touched because it’s a sweet but sad love story.

Q6. The kind of song you’re planning to compose?
Song of styles like future base and chillstep which I enjoy and listen to a lot.

Q7. Favorite dessert?
The Japanese snack kinako mochi. I like that it melts in my mouth because it’s just so fluffy! Also I ate cheesecake before the photoshoot for <non-no>. That one was delicious too♡

Q8. How do you take care of your beautiful voice?
I don’t pay particular attention to it… Like I just sing with my original voice I’ve had since I was born…

Q9. Any habit?
Covering my nose when I yawn. Not mouth but nose somehow. (laughs) And I pull the baby hair on my face unconsciously. I know about these things because fans told me.

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these memes are based on the very lovely blog affectionsuggestion

‘  all i want to do is kiss you breathless  &  watch as your eyes light up when i tell you that you’re my universe.  ’
‘  concept:  just you  &  me,  driving away from the city.  the windows are down  &  the cold air feels amazing.  our songs are playing  &  we couldn’t be more in love.  ’
‘  concept:  we are together  &  nothing in the world can bring us down.  ’
‘  concept:  we listen to showtunes in bed while we eat chinese food under a blanket.  ’
‘  even when i’m not thinking about you,  i’m still kinda thinking about you.  ’
‘  every time we talk,  every time we touch,  i feel more  &  more in love with you.  ’
‘  everything  –  every single thing  –  reminds me of you.  ’
‘  hearing  ‘ i love you ’  from your side of the bed late at night makes my heart feel like it’s bursting with tiny,  happy spring flowers.  ’
‘  i can’t stop kissing you  &  i can’t stop thinking about kissing you.  ’
‘  i can’t stop thinking about you.  i just want to kiss you,  again  &  again  &  again  &  again.  ’
‘  i can’t wait for the next time i get to kiss you.  ’
‘  i can’t wait to have hundreds of adventures with you.  ’
‘  i can’t wait to raise a dog with you.  ’
‘  i can’t wait to see you again.  it’s only a matter of time before we embrace  &  i feel at home once more.  ’
‘  i can’t wait until we’re in the same country,  in the same city,  in the same bed  &  under the same blanket.  ’
‘  i daydream about how your fingers would feel if they were intertwined with mine right now.  ’
‘  i didn’t believe in soulmates until i met you.  ’
‘  i don’t want better.  i want you.  ’
‘  i feel like i could lie wrapped in your arms,  staring at the sky for centuries  &  need nothing else.  ’
‘  i had a dream that we kissed last night.  ’
‘  i just need to be in a meadow right now on a warm day,  with you,  the smell of grass  &  flowers around us.  ’
‘  i just want to be sitting in the sun with you,  not knowing whether the warmth i feel is the pleasant sun or your soft smile warming my heart.   ’
‘  i just want to make gingerbread houses with you around christmas.  ’
‘  i just want to wake up in your arms every day.  ’
‘  i just want you close to me.  ’
‘  i just want you to sleep well  &  be happy.  ’
‘  i love everything about you.  ’
‘  i love how our legs feel entangled with each other.  i crave that feeling.  ’
‘  i miss you all the time.  i’m never sure how i feel,  but i know i always want you around.  ’
‘  i miss your soft touch against my skin.  ’
‘  i need your arms  &  legs around me,  surrounded by your warmth,  holding me tight,  with no intention of letting me go.  ’
‘  i often wake up thinking about you.  ’
‘  i stay up until 11:11 every night just to wish you were here with me.  ’
‘  i think you’re my favorite person in the world right now.  ’
‘  i want nothing but to make good memories with you.  ’
‘  i want to be your past,  present,  &  future.  ’
‘  i want to dance with you while you sing all your favorite songs,   looking lovingly into my eyes  &  meaning every beautiful lyric you sing to me.  ’
‘  i want to fill a hundred photo albums with memories of adventures with you.  ’
‘  i want to kiss every single spot on your body that you’re insecure of.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you each morning  &  each night.  ’
‘  i want to laugh with you  &  hold your cold hands.  ’
‘  i want to make a home with you.  the kind of home that lets you feel the love inside of it when you walk in.  it’ll be a safe place for us  &  the people we let into it.  ’
‘  i want to make chocolate mousse with you  &  then we can eat it together.  ’
‘  i want to see a whole world of different sunsets with you.  ’
‘  i want to take a walk in the snow with you.  ’
‘  i want us to share all of our excitement together.  ’
‘  i want you to kiss me  &  hold me close while telling me everything is going to be okay.  ’
‘  i wish you’d just kiss me.  ’
‘  i would rather listen to your silence when i’m with you than any kind of music on this world.  ’
‘  if i could gather all the stars in the sky  &  give them to you i would  ’
‘  if there’s a day where i don’t tell you i love you,  there’s a day i’m not living.  ’
‘  in my eyes,  you’re a king.  ’
‘  in my eyes,  you’re a queen.  ’
‘  it’s been years now.  despite everything,  we are alive  &  we are together  &  we are okay.  ’
‘  i’d love to snuggle up to you when you want affection most.  ’
‘  i’m happy you exist.  ’
‘  i’m so blessed to have met you.  you’ve already got me longing to be in your company constantly.  ’
‘  i’m so glad i keep you in my life.  your eyes,  your hugs,  you lips,  your words,  &  your smile keep me going every day.  ’
‘  just the sight of your beautiful smile or the way you say hello is enough to make even my darkest days a little brighter.  ’
‘  just you in my harms,   laying on my chest;  it’s just us being us  &  i think we are simply meant to be.  ’
‘  lay on your stomach as i give you sweet kisses on your back  &  neck while i’m feeling your love tingling in my body.  ’
‘  let’s fight the right wingers  &  make the world a better place.  ’
‘  let’s go somewhere quiet  &  just be together.  ’
‘  let’s see everything together…   the whole world.  ’
‘  let’s sit in the forest together,  the particles in the air reflecting sunlight reminding me of the brightness in your eyes.  ’
‘  my love for you makes me want to be strong for you.  ’
‘  now i know the meaning of  ‘ i wouldn’t change you for the world. ’  ’
‘  now i understand why all my other relationships didn’t work out:  i am meant to be with you.  ’
‘  now it’s back to counting down the days until i get to feel free again,  until i get to be in your arms again,  until i get to see your radiance face-to-face again.  ’
‘  nowhere feels as safe as being in your arms.  ’
‘  one day i won’t be scared to say i love you.  ’
‘  one day we’ll do everything we dream about together.  ’
‘  seeing your eyes in the morning sunlight  &  feeling the warmth of your gaze brings upon me makes me realize i’m in love.   ’
‘  tell me about the things you’re passionate about.  tell me every detail about your favorite things.  i don’t care if it takes all day,  i love you  &  i love to hear you be happy  &  excited about things.  ’
‘  the thought of your voice  &  the softness of your smile keeps me going when we can’t be together.  i hope you understand you’ve given me a lot of faith  &  happiness when i thought it’d be impossible,  when i thought i didn’t deserve it.  ’
‘  the way you look at me makes me feel like i’m the most beautiful goddess in the universe.  ’
‘  there’s nothing i want more than to stay under blankets with you  &  curl up in your lap.  ’
‘  thinking of you makes me think that maybe it’ll all be okay.  ’
‘  we’ll celebrate holidays together  &  make our own traditions.  ’
‘  when i think about you my heart feels funny.  ’
‘  when i’m with you,  i get a feeling like coming home after a long time away.  ’
‘  whether you’re blossoming or struggling,  i’ll stay with you.  i’ll keep on loving you.  ’
‘  you are endlessly,  implausibly fascinating.  ’
‘  you are like hot chocolate,  you make my insides warm.  ’
‘  you are more beautiful than my favorite songs.  ’
‘  you fascinate me.  ’
‘  you make me feel safe.  ’
‘  you make me feel how i never thought i could.  ’
‘  you make me understand lyrics to cheesy love songs.  ’
‘  you make my heart feel light as a feather yet heavy as bricks all at once.  ’
‘  you,  my dear,  have the voice of an angel.  ’
‘  your  ‘ i love you ’  has turned into my favorite lullaby.  ’
‘  your arms are home to me.  ’
‘  your eyes make me think about stormy skies in a different way,  your smile makes me blush just thinking about it  &  i think i am totally in love with you.  ’
‘  your hands are my favorite hands to touch  &  to hold.  ’
‘  your hands are so warm  &  your hair is so soft  &  i want to touch you forever  &  ever.  ’
‘  your love for me reminds me to love myself.  ’
‘  your smile is the most beautiful sight on this earth.  ’
‘  you’re the highlight of my day.  ’
‘  you’re the only person who can make me feel this way.  ’