Because it’s almost Valentine’s Day, I wrote a thing.
Hanzo tilted his head, staring at the slim box McCree had
shoved into his hands before he could even say hello. He found himself confused
for a moment as he tried to think of a reason for the cowboy to be bringing him
a gift before recalling the date. He bit the inside of his lip before looking
up to meet McCree’s eyes. “I did not get you anything.”
Kut - Quite vulgar word for vagina. Used like ‘shit’ or ‘fuck’ - ‘Kut! I forgot my homework!’ You can also put ‘kut’ before any word. If you fall off the stairs, you can say ‘Kut trap!’. You got stung by a bee? ‘Kut bij!’
Klote(n) - Quite vulgar word for balls.- ‘Kus mijn kloten!’ (Kiss my balls), ‘Wat een kloteweer’ (Literally: What a ballweather.) You can, like ‘kut’, put ‘klote’ before any word.
Pik - Quite vulgar word for penis - Wat doe je nou, pik?! (What are you doing now, dick?!)
A lot of Dutch people consider diseases like cancer, tyfus,… as swearwords for some reason. They combine it with anything; from ‘Kankerweer’ (cancerweather) to ‘Kankerhoer’ (cancerwhore) to ‘Tyfuslijer’ (Tyfussufferer). Although you may hear this a lot in the Netherlands, this is uncommon in Belgium.
Words like flikker and pot also are very offensive to gay people.
Please do not do this EVER; even if you hear others say it.
“Both my ego and dick have something in common”
“I once spent 15 minutes re-taking a quiz called ‘Where Should You Live?’ just so I could get Canada to prove my mom wrong”
*in response to Aries*
“Yeah they’re both pretty small”
“Everybody automatically assumes I’m sensitive when I tell them I’m a cancer”
*someone comments that they are pretty sensitive*
*The cancer threatened to stab the person with a plastic fork*
“Shut up, you’re a Pisces, so you’re just as bad”
“I go through boyfriends as fast as she goes through bronzer”
*student asks why the board says ‘Jacob is weak’ *
“Oh in my sophomore class, Jacob decided to bet me that he could do more push ups than me this week. So we’ve decided to handle this in an orderly fashion”
“Let’s just take a moment of silence for those of us who have failed the math test”
*starts speaking in Spanish to get out of gym*
“When in doubt 'Command Option Z’ out”
“I don’t have enough hand sanitizer to wash the sins out of this table”
“Do I look high? Be honest, I can’t go to English class like this”
“I tried using slader to get the math homework answers but somehow managed to find anime porn instead”
i had this friend. loud, vivacious, and brimming with energy and colour. her sun-bright smile drew others to her like moths to flame; and yet she could always pick me out from the crowd effortlessly. i wondered how she did that, why she’d pick me over many.
she was the kind of person you could never look away from for long, but i saw her better from my peripherals. when she lifted her chin, her face would become awash with glowing light; and then she’d laugh about her pale skin, and the ruddy cheeks and dark freckles would appear again, as if they’d momentarily blanked out. when she grew protective, her blue eyes would spark dangerously and burn white; and then she’d blink, and the glint of her glasses would stand in with explanation.
but i saw her best from the back. when she’d run, her fire-bright curls would flare out behind her like wings.
as flighty as she was, she always came back to me. i wondered why.
she told me, once.
one day, before class had started, when i was in the middle of falling asleep in the sunbeam warming my desk, she turned around in her seat to talk to me. she spoke with her whole body, from her waving hands to her bouncing shoulders.
then she petered off, and settled into stillness. watchfulness. despite all the eyes on her, she only saw me.
“hey,” she said. “could you look at me for a sec?”
and when i lifted my head to look at her straight on, she smiled as if she’d found the answer.
“look at that,” she murmured. “your eyes have halos in them too.”
like us challenge: day one ♡ favorite character Luna Hale; You know Luna Hale as the seventeen-year-old alien devotee who posts inarticulate ramblings on twitter and believes ufo’s are real… I know her as my little sister who stays true to herself amid constant ridicule, someone i admire and love unconditionally.
(Also the first pic is Jamie’s first post of this wife in like June 24th 2013. Now his most recent one today, in September 13th 2017 with the character Monkey from the play Journey to the West! It’s an amazing play and was yet another collaboration between Damon and Jamie! So go listen to the soundtrack album called Monkey Bee and check out to videos about the play! I know this sounds like I’m a sponsor something but I’m honestly not. I’m just trying to get the play out there. Since there’s a lot of new fans and they haven’t heard it! Sorry about the rambling tho!!!;^;;;)
A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that
may times.) this will be a series! i alreyad have the first 4 or five parts written but its not finished yet. lets see were this goes! please give me your feedback and enjoy! :)
You were sitting on
your bed with two of your friends, Olivia and Alice. You three had been
studying, or at least trying.
“My turn to play a
song!” Alice laughed, grabbing your computer.
“Yeah, not like I was
using that for my homework. You know that’s why I invited you over right?” you
grabbed your notebook, opening it.
“Stop being a nerd,”
Olivia said, closing her book.
As soon as you heard
the beat of the song, you glared at Alice.
“You know I will get
nothing done if he’s playing.” You sighed.
“I have no idea what you’re
talking about,” she said, sliding the computer to you.
You stared at the
screen, watching your celebrity crush sing.
You had been gushing
over him for the past year and a half. You found him through one of Joe Sugg’s
videos. And you immediately fell in love.
You had completely
forgotten about your homework, you were mesmerized by him. He was absolutely
Your friends knew this
video was your favorite, because he looked so sexy in it.
It wasn’t an original song,
it was a cover. But he always put a twist on his covers.
It was his deleted video
of him covering Panda. You had memorized the entire thing, seeing as it was
only 2 minutes long. You didn’t start signing until the part that Conor made.
“I don’t want a good
girl, I’ve been rolling with the baldest.” You sang, looking at your friends.
They had their phones facing you. They were Snap chatting you singing, they
always did. You knew you could sing, but you never did. You chose to pick a different
career path and keep that talent hidden.
Or so you thought.
“She told me models and
she told me she’s an actress.” You smiled at their cameras. They quickly lowered
their phones, posting the snap. But seconds later their phones were back up, filming
“Talking about how she
been everywhere up on that atlas.” Alice made a funny face, causing you to
“Doesn’t make a
difference, she’ll still end up on my mattress.” Olivia and Alice were both
smiling, this encouraged you to keep going.
“Fuck your 15 minutes I’m
the man of the hour. No more room up in my bed, let’s take it to the shower.”
Great, now you were thinking about Conor in the shower. Your cheeks got red.
“Keep going!” one of
them shouted.” You laughed, finishing the song.
You three laughed, “Why
don’t you sing more often!” Olivia questioned.
“I don’t know, I just
feel like it’s a hard career and I don’t want to be stressed my entire life. I
rather be relaxed than be famous.” You grabbed your notebook, determined to get
some homework done.
But then the next song
came on, and your best friends looked at each other.
“No,” you said
seriously, but there was a slight smile creeping onto your face.
It was Better Than You
by Conor and Rita Oar. This song always got you three hyped.
“Please, we promise
we’ll study after,” Alice pleaded.
“Promise?” you asked.
“YES!” they said in unison.
You knew they were lying but agreed. You three began dancing to the music,
abandoning your work.
This continued for the
next 3 or 4 songs. It wasn’t until you guys decided to get food that your life
You grabbed your
laptop, following your best friends out to your kitchen.
“Ice cream?” you asked
and they nodded their heads. While you got the food they grabbed the bowls and
“This is my favorite
song!” Olivia screamed, turning it up.
It was Castle on the
Hill by Ed Sheer an.
After you finished
dispersing the ice cream, you put it away. Alice and Olivia sat down at the island,
but you stood on the other side, facing them.
You began singing along
with Ed, “I’m on my way, driving at ninety down
those country lanes, singing to ‘Tiny
Dancer’” you swayed your hips, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.
“And I miss the way you make me feel, and it’s
real, we watched the sunset over the
castle on the hill,” you hadn’t realized that Olivia was filing
you. But it wasn’t on a 10 second video on Snap Chat. It was a complete video.
After the song ended
you heard giggles, so you opened your eyes.
“What’s so funny?” you asked,
shoving yet another bite of ice cream into your mouth.
“Oh nothing,” Alice
said, putting her bowl in the sink. “We should really go study.”
“Yeah, c’mon Y/n,” Olivia
said, going back into your room.
The rest of the night
was filled with quizzing each other and plenty of laughter.
It wasn’t until the
next morning that you were aware of what your friends did. You woke up to
hundreds of twitter notifications, a few snap chats, 3 missed calls from Olivia
and 14 texts from both girls.
“What the hell?” you asked
yourself as you went into the kitchen to grab some breakfast.
You put some bread in
the toaster, opening your messages.
have you seen twitter?
Look at Twitter!
Omg are you not awake yet?
Y/n, wake up!!
You opened your texts
Omg go on Twitter!
I didn’t think you’d go viral!
He might notice you
CONOR NOTICED YOU
HE RETWEETED MY TWEET ABOUT YOU
FOR GODS SAKE WAKE UP
Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N!!!!!!!
oh my god you don’t deserve this. Wake the fuck up
You froze. The toast
was dropped onto the plate in front of you.
You reread the text too
many times. Then you opened Twitter.
You had so many
notifications your phone froze. So you closed your phone, and opened it again,
refreshing. You decided it would be easiest to go to the source. Alice. You
typed in her twitter name and saw the tweet.
wya w/ this collab ??
Attached was a video,
so clicked on it. It was you, standing at your counter. You were singing, every
now and then shoving a spoonful of ice cream in your mouth. You cringed at the
faces you made, you looked awful.
Curiosity took the best
of you, and you searched Conor’s name.
her twitter @aliiibooo ?
You almost peed
yourself. Instead you started to hyperventilate.
But the surprises
didn’t stop there.
twitter is: @y/t/n , @ConorMaynard ;)
And yet, the surprises
were still not over. Because then, right then. At 7:32 in the morning on the
4th of February, 2017, Conor Maynard followed you.
screenshotted the notification. You then proceeded to run to your room, rip
open your computer and pull up Skype.
“You’re awake!” Olivia
“Have you seen it yet?”
Alice says smugly.
“HE FOLLOWED ME,” you
They stared at you,
“You’re joking!’ Olivia
“No, I’m not. It just
happened. Like a minute ago. I can’t breathe.”
“Y/n! This is amazing!”
Alice squeals, squeezing her blanket tighter.
“Oh… my… god…” you
stared at your phone, a new notification popping up.
Y/n. I saw the video of you singing. You’re really good. How do you feel about
doing a cover with me?