i type like how i'd say things

heathers sentence starters; part one
  • "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
  • "If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host."
  • "Now that's deep."
  • "When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings."
  • "My teen-angst bullshit now has a body count."
  • "Greetings and salutations."
  • "Maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn."
  • "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling!"
  • "You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?"
  • "That's the stupidest question I've ever heard."
  • "You look like hell."
  • "God! I sound like a fucking psycho."
  • "Real life sucks losers dry."
  • "You're beautiful."
  • "I felt bad every time I did it but I kept doing it anyway."
  • "Praise Jesus, Hallelujah."
  • "I don't patronize bunny rabbits."
  • "You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I'd like to give him."
  • "What's your damage?"
  • "Suicide is a private thing."
  • "The extreme always seems to make an impression."
  • "I just killed my best friend."
  • "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"
  • "How very."
  • "Well they, uh, seem to have an open door policy for assholes though, don't they?"
  • "I like it. It's got that what-a-cruel-world-let's-toss-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambiance."
  • "I say we just grow up, be adults and die."
  • "The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven."
  • "You know what I want? Cool guys like you out of my life."
  • "We realized we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and un-understanding world."
  • "Jesus H. Christ!"
  • "Is your life perfect?"
  • "Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit."
  • "They should throw his/her ass in jail."
  • "Just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably."
  • "You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic!"
  • "Why are you pulling my dick?"
  • "Our love is God."
  • "Let's go get a slushie."
  • "Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?"
  • "I'm worshiped."
  • "What the fuck?"
  • "I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose..."
  • "Did that sound bitchy?"
  • "This kind of thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth."
  • "Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up."

anonymous asked:

Dude what's the best thing bitty ever baked?

you honestly don’t understand how, like, literally? that question is im-freaking-possible to answer.

one time though, my frosh year? bits made these things. if you know what slutty brownies are, they were that. but shitty has this moral opposition to the word ‘slut’, so we called them ‘promiscuous girls’, after that nelly furtado song that came out in ‘06.

anyways. these things are bitty’s double fudge brownies, stuffed with his great-great-great-great grandma’s chocolate chip pecan cookie recipe and double-stuf oreos. and then on top, he puts a fucking layer of marshmallows. he also made hot fudge.

so imagine every orgasm you’ve ever had, in combination with when you finally pop your back, taking off formalwear, finally taking a shit, and, like, scratching an itch after like an hour, then multiply the satisfaction you get from any of those things by maybe ten, possibly twenty.

i’m a grown ass man and i am not ashamed to say that i had a straight up boner while i ate that. i was turned on. if jack’s giant crush on him hadn’t been supes obvi, i probably would’ve seriously asked if i could eat him out to thank him. i was sexually attracted to him.

that’s how good they were.

anonymous asked:

Hello, I know that this isn't the type of thing your blog is really for, but Hi I Hi, sorry this is strange, but could I have a bit of advice on this thing? My mother is very ~protective~ and, as I just learned, has been going through my personal email and god knows what else. She justifies this by saying it's "a parent's job." I'd love to tell her how angry and violated I feel but I can't talk about it without crying. Am I overreacting, like she's making me feel, or is this an actual problem?

That’s an actual problem. Parents should foster trust and independence in their kids, neither of which are served by going through a child’s personal information without the child’s knowledge.

It’s your mom’s job to talk to you openly about whatever issues she’s concerned about, and teach you well enough that she can trust you to communicate and interact with others without her constant supervision. If you’re old enough to be on Tumblr, you’re old enough that it’s actually damaging to your independence to not have private conversations that your parent is not involved in.

If she has a reason to not trust you to communicate without her watching, that’s something that needs to be addressed openly with you. Secretly monitoring you will not help you learn whatever it is she wants you to learn. Because that’s a parent’s job: to help a child grow into a healthy adult. She will not always be able to spy on you; she needs to teach you how to monitor yourself.

I desperately wish I didn’t have to give you this advice, but– weigh the pros and cons of talking to your mother about this. You are totally justified in feeling furious and violated. But think about what you want to accomplish by talking to her and figure out what strategy is most likely to get you that goal. When a parent cannot be trusted to listen and respect their child, just asking them to stop doing harmful things doesn’t always work, unfortunately. :(

Have you ever convinced her on something serious before? If so, how did you do it? If not, what might work? When is she best at listening to you - after you’ve spent time together? When she’s having a good day? When the house is clean and quiet? Does she listen better if you show a lot of emotion? If you act totally calm and give good reasons? Is it better to have a Serious Sit-Down Talk or to casually mention it? Is it better to bring up related things for a few days first to get her to agree with you on small similar matters?

Remember, your end goal might not be to get her to understand 100% – it might just be to have private conversations online, or for her to be more honest with you about what she monitors, or to make agreements with you about how you can prove to her that you don’t need to be spied on.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, anon. I hope you find a healthy way to feel a little more in control of things that should rightfully be your own life.

anonymous asked:

I'm amused with how you put your thoughts into things. I'd like to hear your two cents on this. Compare, classify and discuss about these guys: Jellal, Laxus, Gray, Natsu, Gajeel, Bacchus, Hibiki, Sting, Rogue, Lyon, Ren, and Elfman. Who is the boob-man, butt-man, leg-man, neck-man, combination of two/three or all of the above?

Another question that makes me laugh!!! I LOVE YOU WHOEVER SENT THIS!!! I am more than happy to share my thoughts on anything like this.

But alright, this is gonna be interesting… I’m still laughing as I type this, too.

Jellal

I’d say he’s a combination of boob-man and leg-man. I say boob-man merely because of what happened at the water park with Erza. I don’t care if he was saving her from Ichiya, his hands acted on instinct and went for what was most important- her boobs. I can also see him very much appreciating a woman’s legs, though, especially Erza’s. He likes strong, well defined legs.

Laxus

He’s probably all of the above, but a good emphasis on legs. Really, though, he appreciates everything a woman has to offer. He also really likes the small of a woman’s back, where the skin is soft and he can just tease the swell of her butt. You know he very much enjoyed where his hand was while dancing with Mira. ;)

Gray

Leg-man, definitely a leg man. Maybe also boobs, but I’d say legs and hips are his favorite parts of a woman. He also likes them to be strong, but also a little curvy and defined from the waist.

Natsu

Boob-man. I don’t really even think this needs an explanation, he definitely likes boobs.

Gajeel

Well, there’s the obvious butt-man part, but I also think he’s a neck-man, too. I can see him being the type to enjoy rubbing Levy’s neck while she’s reading, help take away the tension as he runs his fingers along the column and into her hair. And of course he likes to kiss her there, too. ;p

Bacchus

Bacchus is a ‘woman’-man. If it is a part of the female body, he likes it. Specifically, I’d say his favorite parts are boobs, and also back and shoulders, oddly enough, and hips… and stomach…. Seriously, I can just list body areas and he will give a big thumbs up to all of them. He just really likes the female body.

Hibiki

I actually think that as much as he loves women, he is most attracted to a woman’s personality and not entirely her looks. Sure, he’s canonically dating Jenny, but I like to think that he’s just as intrigued by her mind as he is her model body. I’d say if he had to choose, though, he’d go for legs.

Sting

Getting tougher now. Hmmmmm, with Sting I find myself leaning towards hips and boobs…. and maybe also arms? I don’t even think I can explain it, it’s just this weird image I get with him.

Rogue

I gotta go with boob-man for him, not even cuz of the Sabertooth special chapter with Yukino, I just get this really strong sense that he goes for boobs. (For my favorite crack Rogura ship, I just imagine Kagura hugging him to her chest like Erza does with… everyone, and Rogue’s just frozen with this huge blush hoping he doesn’t have to move from that spot anytime soon).

Lyon

Leg-man again, but also a boob-man. He’s also weak to some smiles, I think…. So lip-man… I say that’s the thing, lol.

Ren

Boob-man, definitely a boob man and I can’t explain this one, just a feeling I get.

Elfman

He’s a MAN! AHaHAHAHA…. Okay, he’s an 'Evergreen’-man. I’m not even kidding on this. He actually called her a woman. Everyone else, including his own sisters, he talks about them being manly or whatever, but Evergreen is the only one he has called a woman with amazement. Therefore, he is an Evergreen-man and no one argue me on this.

Okay, I think I got all of them. I hope this answers that satisfactorily! Seriously, I love all of these that I’ve been getting. XD

prahst  asked:

I seem to have a reputation with a lot of my acquaintances for seeming like I'd make a great assassin or something. And then they say things about how they would never want to make me angry 'cause I'd probably kill them or something. Just general "haha her heart is stone cold" type of stuff. I could be really offended by it but I mostly just find it amusing. Because obviously I know that I'm actually a really nice person and possibly more sympathetic than most. I assume other INTJs get this?

I imagine so. I certainly do.

Although, I must admit I actively dislike those sorts of comments. If they think I’m a robot or emotionless or cold-hearted, and they ignore my loyalty, helpfulness, and overall good nature, then they don’t deserve my friendship because they clearly can’t bother to look past whatever shallow vision of me they have.

I once had a close friend who referred to me as and treated me like a guard dog. Loyal, but (in her mind) sullen, unfriendly, and dangerous to strangers. She wouldn’t even let me meet her long-standing boyfriends, etc, because she thought I would pick a fight with them. It was ridiculous. I am not a curiosity to be kept around on a leash to ogle and jeer at.

These are the people I cut out of my life. They think I’m cruel, but I’m not. I am unforgiving. My friends were right in this: do not mistreat me. What they didn’t understand is that I wouldn’t bring unpleasantness upon them if they did; I would simply take all the good things I brought to the table and leave forever.

That’s just my experience, though, and I’m not holding myself up as a shining beacon of a role model. I could probably stand to be a bit more magnanimous. If you are comfortable in your friendships, though, I am genuinely happy for you, and I hope your friends are appreciative of you in entirety.

anonymous asked:

Hey Artie! Since both Rebecca, Jasper, and Pearl have more or less confirmed that there can be multiple versions of the same gem, does it mean people can make their own version of, ex: Pearls, Topaz, Ruby, etc? I'd love to make a gemsona, but feel like all the gems are "taken." Also, I would love to one day see secondary gems of the main characters, to see just how different they can be from the ones we're used to, and if the colour scheme is a repeating thing. :D

of course! I’ve always felt there could be more than one of each kind of Gem and it seems pretty solidly confirmed that there’s definitely more than one of each type. So I’d say don’t worry about using a gem that’s already been used for a gemsona, its pretty much canon that there’s more than one of each Gem (not that OCs need to be 100% canon-compliant anyway)

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'd like to say your fanfic work is awesome and made me ship skimmons a little more each day. And if I may trouble you, do a skimmons Arranged Marriage AU ;)

So I hope you like this anon! I wasn’t quite sure how to fill this prompt so I ended up going with a sort of Game of Thrones AU type thing…hope that works!

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